So, anyone seen what Devin Harris is doing?

This is just a funny picture of Carlisle.

So, let's get this straight. Avery didn't like Devin Harris because he wasn't the kind of point guard that Avery was. Avery liked Jason Kidd because Jason Kidd is the kind of point guard that Avery was. Avery makes a damn near franchise-ruining trade by sending Devin to New Jersey and bringing Jason Kidd back to Dallas.

Now...let's look at some numbers.

Jason Kidd

PPG	APG	SPG
9.6	8.5	2.5

Devin Harris

PPG	APG	SPG
24.8	6.1	1.2

Oh. No.

To be fair, Kidd does pull more rebounds, and he's kind of on his own with no solid backup (though if Barea keeps playing the way he is, I might have to write an apology post soon). However, if you've watched these guys play, and you're a Maverick fan, you've slapped yourself on the forehead several times and probably punched your groin as well.

(Hangs head in shame)

Really, what was so bad about Sean Avery's comments?

Huh?

Did they objectify women? Well, yeah, it kind of did.

Was it improper smack talk in a public forum off the ice? Well, yeah, it probably was.

Did it embarrass the Stars organization? Most probably.

Was it more WWE than it was NHL? Yup (probably why I liked it.)

My question is, what it really that bad?

Come on, in the grand scheme of things, saying a guy is enjoying your "sloppy seconds" isn't that bad.

If I were Sean Avery, I'd have looked in the camera and said, "Hey, Frenchy, how's my dick taste?"

Where in the World Is........

Uhh, Behind You?

Just a great pic of one of our HOF'ers. And when Hivvy is involved, better believe I'm going post it. When UNT plays WKU this year in basketball, I'm going to make a request that they bring Hivvy with them.

College Football Round Up - Championship Week

Well, maybe Brady can get my old Job Back.

Ahh the smell of controversy. The whining, and bitching and moaning. Somewhere in the distance I can hear someone say "But we beat them" and "Well we beat them worse." It must be the start of December!

So there are 10 BCS slots to fill with all the BCS bowl games, and the championship game. We know already that Penn State, USC, Utah, and Cincy are in. And we have 3 championship games this weekend that will fill at least 3 more. The winner of each of these games will play in the big money bowls.

ACC: No. 17 Boston College vs. No. 25 Virginia Tech, Noon ABC
SEC: No. 1 Alabama vs. No. 4 Florida, 3:00 CBS
B12: No. 20 Missouri vs. No. 2 Oklahoma, 7:00 ABC

So with 7 slots filled up, where do the others come from?

Boise is undefeated, but won't draw well.

They can only take one of these two: Texas, and Texas Tech, both 1 loss teams

Unless Bamma kills Florida, they will probably take the loser of that game.

I'm pretty sure Ohio State and the following that it brings will be one of the At Large bids, and after that you have 2 non BCS schools (TCU, undefeated Ball State), and some 3 loss teams, (Okla State, Georgia Tech, Georgia, Oregon). So this weekend will be fun fun fun to watch.

A brief look at my rankings then on to the bowl predictions.

Main Eventers:

No. 1 Alabama (win 36-0 Auburn) - The only true, Win and your in school, that nobody has a problem with, except for the fact they are 10 point dogs to Florida

Mid Card Guys

No. 2 Texas (win 49-9, Texas A&M) - Question for Texas fans, if its such a big deal that you beat Oklahoma head to head (and don't get me wrong, it is), then when it comes to which Big 12 team gets to go to a BCS game outside of the conference winner(remember due to BCS Bylaws, there can only be at most 2 teams from one conference unless 2 teams play in the BCS Champ Game), between you and Texas Tech, shouldn't it be head to head wins as well? That would mean Texas Tech goes and Texas would get the Cotton. Just something to think about.

No. 3 Oklahoma (win 61-41, No. 12 Oklahoma State) - The thing i really don't get about this whole bit, is how everybody i read/watch/talk to/listen to/jerk off, says that Texas should get the nod over Oklahoma due to the shootout win, yet in the human polls, Oklahoma is head of Texas. Somebody is lying. And lying makes baby Jesus cry.

No. 4 Florida (win 45-15, No. 20 Florida State) - What happens if Alabama just barley loses, in a game that had 170 total yards of offence, 7 turnovers, 100 pen, and such bad sportsmanship that made the Orange Bowl brawl look tame. Is it a grantee that Florida jumps Texas in the BCS Rankings? Note how bad the rest of the SEC was this year, and how Texas would have a win over the number one rated team in the country, with the only loss being to a top 10 team on the road, all it would take is some brave people to vote Texas ahead of Florida in the human polls, and the BCS computer rankings might just keep Florida below Texas. How crazy would that be?

No. 5 USC (win 38-3, Notre Dame) - Been preaching it for awhile, but forget Texas, forget Tech, the biggest ass rapeing was on USC, who because of one loss to a decent team who we though would be shitty, has NO CHANCE to play for the strap, and now they get to go beat up on Penn State, they won't even get a shot to play one of big boys in the show.

Lets get to the bowl predictions already

BCS Champ
Oklahoma
vs.
Florida

Sugar
Alabama
vs.
Texas

Rose
USC
vs.
Penn State

Orange
BC
vs.
Cincy

Fiesta
Ohio State
vs
Utah

I would watch all those game, except for the Orange. I really don't care about Cincy or BC, despite my Catholic guilt.

I'm really, really praying for a Bamma vs Texas bowl match up somehow, The mustache bet between brown and dorsey would just fantastic. I'm thinking 1 week for every 2 points the team looses by. Lord that would be fantastic.

My new target of irrational hatred

Fantastic tackling, kid.

Bill Buckner and Steve Bartman can welcome to their club a new member.

Blake Gideon.

That's right, we're going to add one more person to the "People who are irrationally and unfairly blamed by a fan base for the loss of a shot at the title."

An easy interception.

That's all you had to make.

The ball fell into your hands and you dropped it.

Make the pick, and Texas is still the number one team it the land.

But no, you shit the bed.

Why is he playing safety at all? Are we saying he is John Lynch? NO! This guy has the making of the next Reed Doughty or Brian Russell.

Welcome to Chris Simms-ville, Blake Gideon. For no rational reason, you are now at fault and hated by the Texas fan base.

I hope you step on a rake and suffer the most outlandish of Sideshow Bob situations.

I don't have to take this, I'm leaving you.

Okay, I know you're expecting to come to the site today and see two things. A terribly misspelled and oddly calculated ranking system by one guy, and a profanity laden, head shaking, confusing diatribe from the other.

Well, here's the ladder.

I could sit here and argue until my face went blue (yes, still possible with Brown skin) about how fucked up the system is for picking winners and losers in college football. I could argue about how Texas and Texas Tech are both getting a huge shaft here (probably Tech more than Texas in the big picture). I could argue that a playoff system among the big conferences, properly put together, would put to rest a majority of the issues and the lower conferences could still do bowls so they can not whine about missing a payday (because if you don't think it's about money, you ate rubber cement as a child).

No, I'm not going to do that for a simple reason. No matter how right or wrong I am, my portly blogging pal and you sexy readers want to argue with me. Quite simply, I don't have the energy to have this same argument again and again and again.

Everyone is convinced they have the solution, including me, and no one wants to hear the other person. It's the politick of sports. There isn't a middle ground in the argument, and there is no gray area. Whatever system put in place benefits one team is going to screw that same team in the future. Period.

Quite honestly, I think I'm done with this shit. I don't want to hear about college football anymore until it gets it act together. And I don't mean "until Texas goes to the championship game", I mean until a system is put in place where things are decided on the field and not by Johnny-5, Simon, Steve Spurrier, and whatever keypad mashing Mangino's hands manage to do.




Who am I kidding? I'm going to keep coming back like a battered spouse. Only this time, I'm so going to carry pepper spray and a rape whistle.

Turky Day, Rick Rolled!

So, if you were like me, today you woke up a little hung over, and flipped on the Macy's day parade for some non threatening fun before the day of football. But because of the night before, i didn't get up till 11 or so, so i missed the Foster`s Home for Imaginary Friends float, which had a special guest. Check it out.


That's right, the entire US got Rick Rolled. God i love thanksgiving!

How I feel about Big's non-playoff idea...

Sure, it's got nothing to do with the Bowl system or the playoffs, and if SNL doesn't parlay this into an Ari Gold parody, they're missing out...

Either way...say that to my face, Big, and I'll strip you naked and make you walk your bowl loving ass back to Denton you effing turncoat.

Take off my shoes and Suck me Sexy!

You want to know what one of my favorite things in life is? Going out, and getting shithouse drunk new years eve, wake up hung over, confused, and a little scared, roll over to Browns house (which is totally different from Brown Town), eat some of our buddys PappaGeorgieo, and watch new years day bowl games all day.

Don't try and take that from me.

Don't know what I'm talking about? I'm talking about all the kakapoopoo about a playoff system.

Fuck the cheerleader, Now that would save the world. No more BCS, and tyring to pick the best 2 teams, bla bla bla. Its all horseshit. Let me break it down for you.

There are 6 big conference schools, and the playoff system would be 8 teams, because anything larger than 8 would make the Regular season useless. And because it would be the BCS running the playoff, the big 6 conferences would all get an automatic bid. So these teams are in

ACC - Georgia Tech (5-3) 8-3 / Florida State (5-3) 8-3 / Boston College (4-3) 8-3 (somebody will win that conference, i swear)
B12 - Oklahoma (6-1) 10-1 / Texas Tech (6-1) 10-1
BE - Cincinnati (5-1) 9-2
B10 - Penn State (7-1) 11-1
P10 - Oregon State (7-1) 8-3
SEC - Alabama (7-0) 11-0 / Florida (7-1) 10-1

Then if they keep the same rules as the do for the BCS game selections, if a non BCS team in ranked in the top 12, the highest ranked non bcs team gets an automatic bid. So add Utah to the mix. That leaves only one slot open for these teams:

Texas, USC, Boise, Oklahoma/Tech (which ever one didn't make b12 game), Alabama/Florida loser, Ohio State, Ball State and Georgia.

The way the Ranking are set up now, it would be Texas. So what good is a playoff that doesn't exclude USC, or Tech? Your telling me that Cincinnati is better than both those guys? Or no Bama if they lose to Florida?

Here would be your week one games with the seeding breaking down to BCS rankings right now, with the 2 non automatic bids being 7th and 8th, and Utah getting the 7th due to guarantee bids. Bamma(1) vs. Texas(8), Oklahoma (2) vs. Utah(7), Penn State (3) vs. Boston College (6), and Cincinnati(4) vs. Oregon State(5).

Those are much better than BCS bowl games! If all went well, the best you could hope for would be Bamma or Texas vs. Oklahoma(would would have beaten Utah, and Oregon State to get to the championship game), which would be (duh) the same as the BCS title game.

(successfully swats a playoff out to half court)

College football round up - Week 13 - And then there was one.

Orange, the color of the blood of 1000 baby seals.

What a glorious time of year, no? The Holiday season is rapidly approaching, meaning time off from work, and the sports season is really getting good. The NFL is going down the home streach, the NBA season is starting to round into form, where we learn what teams are for real(LA,Boston) and which are pretenders(Dallas), the Yankees are overpaying free agents and stacking their team, and somewhere Hockey is being played as well, all thought I don't know where.

And then there is College football. The greatness that is college football. The clusterfuck that is college football. We have one big school left unbeaten, that many don't think can stay that way, three small schools still without a loss, and a staggering 6 schools with one loss gripping that they are the second best team in the nation! Good times.

Now if you have been reading this site for a while, you know that I am bowl guy. I love the fact that we can turn on the TV set on the first of the year, and watch a Pac 10 team play a Big 10 team at the Rose Bowl. I love it. I'll explain either later today or tomorrow why a playoff system is a bad idea, but I will introduce a "big bowl preview" at the end of my top rankings, so take a look at the end, if you are so inclined.

Main Eventers

No. 1 Alabama (Idle) - They have Auburn and Florida over the next 2 weeks. They hold their own destiny in their hands, and with a win in the Iron Bowl, they will all but guarantee a BCS bowl birth.

Mid Card - This is where it gets fun. 6 teams are fighting for that last shot at the title. Some hold their own fate in their hands (Florida, Oklahoma) and some need some big help (Penn State, Texas)

No. 3 Texas (Idle) - I though long and hard as to who should be number 2 in my poll. I tried to put the "i hate Oklahoma" thought out of my mind and look at in a legit way, from the outside, and this is what I see. Looking at losses, Texas's was the least harmful, on the road, last second loss. The Horns have hated rival's A&M this week, and if they can get by that, it will be in the hands of the voters, as to where they end up playing.

No. 5 Oklahoma (win 65-21, No. 2 Texas Tech) - Holy shit what a beating! I really can't imagine a more impressive way to try and show voters that you are worthy of a BCS bid than hanging 65 on the number 2 team in the country. Sam Bradford only needed 14 completions to hit the 300 yard mark, and 4 TD's. They have a neutral field loss, which is worse than a home loss, but not as forgiving as a road loss, which is why they are three.

No. 6 USC (Idle) - I'm sure I'm one of the only people in the entire nation outside of LA that feels the Men of Troy are getting the shaft this year. They have one loss, on the road, to a now top 20 team. That better than Florida can say, or Penn State, or even Oklahoma as they lost at a neutral site. They got two games left, vs the Irish, and UCLA and if they take care of biznass, which they should, they arn't even guaranteed the Rose bowl, because of the loss to Oregon State.

No. 4 Florida (win 70-19, Citadel) - I have the gators rocking the 5th spot right now, but in my heart of hearts this team is the number one team in the country. I believe they have the best overall team, with play makers at ever possession that matters, and a coach that can game play with the best of them. Because of the soft teabag like stranglehold the SEC has on college football votes, unless one of the lose before they play each other, one of the Championship game spots will be Bamma or Florida.

No. 2 Texas Tech (loss 21-65 No. 5 Oklahoma) - That loss was bad. And if they could have kept it close, they might still have a shot at a BCS Championship bid, but not after that shellacking. Even if the Sooners drop to Oklahoma State, and the Raiders win the Big 12, all they can hope for is a Fiesta Bowl game. Your going to hear a lot of people say things this week like, "I knew they would fall back down to earth" and stuff like that, but don't let that cheapen what the Red Raiders did this year. They took the next step, and if Leach remains in Lubbock, they won't be going anywhere for a while.

No. 8 Penn State (win 49-18, No. 15 Michigan State) - Daryll Clark had another fantastic game, 341 and 4 td through the air, and another TD on the ground, in rout to ending the regular season for the Lions with another nice win. They have almost no shot at getting to the championship game, but that's what we thought about Ohio State last year.

BCS Buster

No. 7 Utah (win 48-24, No. 14 Brigham Young) - Welcome to the dance, Utes! They are done with their season after causing 6 turnovers against the Mormons. They have punched a ticket to steal a spot from one of the big 12 teams, I'm looking at you, Tech.

No. 9 Boise State (win 41-34, Nevada) - Held off a late surge from the Wolfs of Nevada, to pull just one game away from another undefeated season. All that's left from them and taking the either Penn State or Ohio State's BSC bid is Fresno State.

No. 17 Ball State (win 31-24, Central Michigan) - Behind 177 yards from MiQuale Lewis, his 9th 100 yard game this year, the Cardinals rushed to a showdown game with 2nd in conference Western Michigan this week, winner to play Buffalo for the MAC title. If they win out, I still don't think they will sneak in without a loss from Boise. ohh and the game is tomorrow, if your interested.

Local Love

No. 16 TCU (win 44-10, Air Force) - TCU finishes 2nd in the Mountain West, behind Utah, with 10 wins. The 10 wins gives them 40 in 4 years. Now how in the hell is Gary Patterson not coaching somewhere else?

North Texas (win 13-52 Middle Tennessee State) - Now when I got to North Texas we were shitty. Then we became respectable with 4 straight Sun Belt championships, now that I'm gone and an Alum, we're shitty again. 1-10 with the only win over lowly Hivvy and the Blood Drops, who are just barley a div 1 school.

A Look at the Bowls!

These are just fun for me, its my BCS bowl predictions.

Orange: Georgia Tech(ACC) - USC(At Large)
Rose: Penn State(Big 10) - Oregon State(Pac 10)
Fiesta: Cincinnati(Big East) - Utah (At Large)
Sugar: Alabama(At Large) - Texas (At Large)
NC: Oklahoma(Big 12) - Florida(SEC)

Screwed: Boise, Ohio State, Texas Tech

I don't know how likely it is that Georgia Tech wins the ACC, but i love watching the wishbone so i put them in, that and the ACC is one big ass cluster fuck right now. I believe that Oklahoma will jump Texas in the BCS polls after beating State, and beat Mizzou in the B12 game. Florida will roll the Tide in the SEC champ game. Texas is your number 3, getting the automatic bid, USC edges Boise for the last spot because they are USC and they will get people to watch the game.

Game I am most excited about? Bamma vs Texas. If only cuz brown and Gerry could have a mustache contest.

I'll take Time, for the win.

This is Randy Savage in the 1980's as we knew him best.

We all knew Savage as the gravely voiced, flying elbow WWF character that he was.

This is the same Randy Savage at the premiere of "Bolt"a few days ago.

Oh, my. Snap into a SlimJim indeed.

Don't we know how this story ends?

Donny Doo

Landon Donovan.

US Soccer's main man, and, ultimately, the face of US Soccer right now.

Bayern Munich of the German Bundesliga and their coach Juergen Klinsmann have been impressed with Donovan and would like to loan him from the L.A. Galaxy for the beginning of 2009, and possibly get him long term.

And this would be for the first team, not the reserves.

Donovan hasn't faired well when he's attempted to make the jump from the MLS to the Euros. Having been the face of US Soccer, people have wanted Donovan to take the proverbial next step for a long time. I say that because the MLS doesn't have the talent players need to really step up their games and ultimately represent their nations for the international caps.

A majority of the US team plays overseas, and Donovan has failed in all his attempts prior to this. To his credit, he admits it.

"As a person and a player, I am completely different now to how I was then, I have matured. I am ready. I believe I can keep up with all the other players, even if I am not the best player here."

Having struggled to make the grade in Germany last time, Donovan admits he has learned from the experience. "I recognise Leverkusen wasn't the problem, I was," he said. "I just wasn't ready for it."

Well, here's hoping that he can make it happen this time, and maybe even convince Klinsmann to manage the US team in the future. Donovan's always been "right there" and he's got to show that he's got the cajones to live up to the hype that was created for him.

Now, I'm sure the lone soccer nut in our readership, Chillumsworth, will chime in and tell me how off base I am because we all know Chillumsworth is an EPL guy and has a hard man crush on Brian Ching. What can I say, he likes Asians with big quads. What?

If Sparano was still in Dallas....

...I'm pretty sure he'd have murdered Wade Phillips and would use his skin as tarp to cover the end zone or something.

There's a reason Big likes this guy, and it ain't his coaching.

From ESPN via MJD at the Shutdown Corner, apparently Tony Sparano doesn't give a good god damn if you're injured or not

"Nobody feels sorry for you one way or the other," Sparano said. "The Patriots don't feel sorry for us. We really don't feel sorry for them.

"So at the end of this if you are hurt and truly hurt, that is one thing. If you are bumped up, nicked up, whatever it is -- there's a pretty good chance there is a lot of people in this league that are nicked up, hurt whatever it is -- they have to play.

"So the message is simple: If you want to go to heaven you have to die to get there."

Holy shit, how intense is that?

This guy doesn't even put anyone on his injury report. Why? They're alive. I was wondering why Chad Pennington's noodle arm hasn't fallen off yet.

Is there any surprise that this guy was a Parcells clone and went where Bill told him to? Wade Phillips would be Sparano's bitch so fast, it wouldn't be funny. Jerry was probably terrified of him so he let him go.

I'm really starting to think that Bill Parcells is like Michael Corleone, Sparano is his Al Neri and I'm guessing that makes Bill Belichick the Nick "Ace" Geraci...I dunno, I'm still working on this comparison. (Don't worry if you don't know who Geraci is, I might be the only person who's ever read "The Godfather Returns" or "The Godfather's Revenge")

Felix Jones, done for the year

One Jones goes out, and one comes back...

I'm trying to eat a late lunch, and what do I hear from Bob and Dan on the Ticket?

Felix Jones injures his toe while rehabbing his leg and he'll require surgery and will miss the rest of the season.

This sucks because Felix showed from day one that he was a game breaker on this Cowboy team.

How does this affect the offense?

-You'll see more Barber (always a good thing, especially if he dominates a drive like he did to ice the Washington game).
-Choice coming off special teams to bolster the running game when Barber needs a break.
-Less speed in the backfield and in the return game
-More focus on Romo and his arm.

Let's see what happens...

Maybe he sounds like Mike Tyson

Spin-a-roony!

I'm not a big fan of the sports media. I mean that. I don't really like the fact that guys are getting paid to do what I give for free, criticism without base.

Also, in our sound byte seeking media, it's no wonder that people have to be always be politically correct or outright silent to avoid being pegged as Terrell "Get Your Popcorn Ready" Owens or "Straight Cash Homey" Randy Moss.

The media is annoyed if an athlete doesn't say anything, but if they only say the "right" things they are robotic. If an athlete attempts to be funny or just says what's on their mind, they're edited to be crazier than Chad Johnson (who might actually be crazy).

Anyway, it didn't even dawn on me until I read this that Marion Barber refuses to speak to the media.

It's not that he's got the social anxiety problem that Ricky Williams has. It's not that he's been muzzled or so often misquoted that he is shielded for the media. He's simply afraid of what the media will do to him if he opens his mouth.

Think about it. For all intents and purposes, Barber is the nicest and smartest guy in that locker room and one of the, supposedly, best teammates there could be. He just doesn't do interviews because he's afraid that people are going to misconstrue what he says or chop his sound bytes to make him sound like a bad guy.

At the same time, if you don't say anything inflammatory, he shouldn't have to worry. I wonder if Kyle Kozier has ever played the trick where you write "I am sofa king we todd did" on a piece of paper and he asked Barber to read it out loud. That'd be a real hoot.

You just said it out loud, didn't you.

Retard.

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

It was at that point, Ron Jaworski snapped.

Picture credit: Tirico Suave

So your looking for a Website

Looking for good times? TB&TB!

We here at TB&TB, and I think i can speak for Brown, do this little website thing for fun. We're not trying to get rich, or become the new Deadspin or anything like that. We started this little blog site to give us something to do with what little free time we have, or to goof off at work, and to talk about and poke fun at things we love, sports.

It's all good times, and over the past year we have done something that we never really thought was possible, we have a readership that extends past our friends and family. Its crazy man, you never know what the ball gonna do.

One of the more interesting things that have come out of this is using Google Analytics, and seeing what people have searched google for that led them to this site. Its fun to look at, and here are some of the more recent ones.

"best metaphors ever" - why yes, yes we do have the best metaphors ever.

"trishelle cantonella" - What makes this funny is this is the 2nd entry when you search her name. I'm sure when she went on the "Real World - Vegas" she had grander thoughts of how her career would turn out. Some years later, when you google her name, the second site that comes up is ours. Silly Chick.

"tyla wynn defecate" - Noted porn star was the subject of a comment by one Tioga, and it made the 2nd page of that search.

"graham harrell" + "nude pictures" - So, if your looking to find nakked pics of the Heisman front runner, we are 4th.

"2 headed penis" - What kills me about this one, is I clicked on through 10 pages of links and didn't find ours. Someone went past 10 pages of links to 2 headed penises(peni?) and landed on us.

"alvin mack you're the one who got my baby sister pregnant" - Quite possibly the one i'm most proud of, because we are the first site if you search for that. The program rules, and i'm glad we are part of it!

"big clitoris" - Best part about this? I don't know how far we are on the search, but i know we are past 5, and the person that clicked on it spent 5 min on site, visited 4 pages, still looking for that big clitoris. Its a myth i tell ya, it's not real!

bio dome "tent" scene - As proud as I am of the Program reference, I'm sure Brown is just as proud our site being 4th for this search.

"das ist gut, ja?" - Javole!

"how did macho man grow his hair back" - How did he get his hair back? Its a mystery to me still.

However you got to the site, be it looking for sportsy goodness, or a Bio Dome reference, we welcome you all.

Cheers!

College Football Round Up - week 12 - Ramping up

BALLS!

For the second straight week, may Saturday wasn't spent lounging in front of the TV, with the remote in my hand, surfing between ESPN, ABC, NBC, CBS, FSN, and Spike, watching the greatness that is college football. No, like last weekend I didn't get a chance to watch much, but this time it wasn't due to lack of a TV, this weekend the High School football post season started, and I "worked" 1 game Friday, and 2 on Saturday. I highly doubt anybody cares about Texas High School football out side of people in high school and their parents, but it was entertaining to me, and if you want predictions or recaps, hit me up in the comments or email.

However, just like last weekend, nothing really crazy went down this weekend on the College Football Landscape, unless of course your a fan of the ACC. It was just another week closer to bowls. So lets get to the rankins, which haven't really changed much at all.

Main Eventers.

No. 1 Alabama (win 32-7, Mississippi State) - After being questioned to their ability to play better ball in the second half than in the first all year long, Bamma outscored Mississippi State 20-0 in the second half. This wasn't a game that most Bamma fans were worried about, but I'm sure plenty of them were when State took a 7-5 lead in the 2nd. No worries, Tide, as a Javier Arenas 80 punt return and a run game that gained almost 200 yards again put up plenty of points, and the defense locked down the Bulldogs rushing game, holding them to only 35 yards.

No. 2. Texas Tech (Idle) - Just counting down till the showdown in Norman this week. To fill up space, here is Grahm Harrell's numbers so far with 2 regular season games left: att:463 comp:332 yards:4077 TD's:36.

Mid Carders

No. 4 Florida (win 56-6, No. 25 South Carolina) - I don't know what feeling fans of the Crimson Tide had on Saturday, happyness that they won big over Mississippi State, or undieing fear that they have to play Florida in a few weeks. South Carolina isn't a world beater, but they aren't a joke team either, and hanging 56 on them is impressive. Florida's spread offense is proof that you can run, and run well out the spread, this week going for almost 350 yards. Florida is good, and out of all the teams I wouldn't want to play, Florida is tops of that list.

No. 3 Texas (win 35-7, Kansas) - The fighting Mangino's were no trouble at all for the Longhorns. Texas held Kansas to 47 yards rushing and out gained them by over two yards per rush and pass. So the trap game against Kansas wasn't a trap game at all, and now all they have left is the pitiful Aggies. In a perfect Longhorn world, Oklahoma would beat tech this week, but get no love from the BCS, keeping Texas in front of Oklahoma.

No. 6 USC (win 45-23, Stanford) - I feel bad for the men of troy. I know it seems every week I jump on here and say that, but it still rings true. They only have one loss, to a now ranked Oregon State team, and continue to win, yet are barley talked about in the same light as Oklahoma, Texas, and Florida. The game against Stanford wasn't the great defensive performance that we have seen out of USC the last few weeks, but they did what needed to be done to get the win.

No. 5 Oklahoma (idle) - Oklahoma's had the week off, getting ready for the showdown with Tech, and then the season ending game against Oklahoma State. Can't believe that the Coaches poll had Oklahoma rated over Texas last week, they got it right this week, but that just shows you how sad the Coaches poll can really be.

No. 8 Penn State (win 34-7, Indiana) - Sorry boys, but there is little you can do to get back that loss last week. Its going to be fun watching Penn State and USC in the Rose this year. By fun i mean boring, as these two team have stellar defenses. Ohh wait, they may be playing Oregon State in the Rose, as they have the inside track to winning the conference.

BCS Busters

No. 7 Utah (win 63-14, San Diego State) - Almost 600 yards total offense, with nearly 200 of it coming on the ground. They got the showdown with the Mormons from BYU this weekend, and it should be a great game, if only I had "The Mountain" network to watch it.

No. 9 Boise State (win 45-10, Idaho) - Jeremy Avery had 11 rushes for 156 yards. Only 2 games left against Nevada, and Fresno State.

No. 14 Ball State (win 31-16, Miami (OH)) - They played on Tuesday night, on ESPN, completed 6-9 on third downs, and running back MiQuale Lewis had 165 yards on the ground.

A very hohum weekend for College football, but there is some good games just right around the corner, and of course, the Bowls. Here is the Bowl Breakdown by conference.

ACC - 8
SEC - 8
Big 12 - 7
Big 10 - 7
Big East - 5
Pac 10 - 5
WAC - 5
CUSA - 4
Mid American - 4
Moutian West - 4
SunBelt - 1

If the Starbury thing happens, then the theory is true

I bet her breath smells terrible

I posed a theory to Big and Bear while walking down the street the other day. Sure, that might seem gay if you think about the fact that no one walks down a street in the state of Texas, let alone a fat guy, a bear and the guy from "Temple of Doom" who keep saying "Kaaliiimaaa!", but that's not really relevant here. (And have I got a sitcom idea for ABC!)

I posed the theory that Dallas fans are given a choice. Either the Cowboys are good and all the other teams suck, or the Cowboys suck and some of the other teams do well. While the Cowboys have had their downswing over the past decade, we've seen the following happen:

-The Stars become a relevant team and won the Stanley Cup in 1999.
-The Mavericks become a relevant team and a perennial 50-win, playoff bound, championship contending team.
-The Rangers have an 80 win season and we see players like Teixeira, Young, and Hamilton play.
-The Dallas Burn leave the Cotton Bowl for their own stadium in Frisco and re-christen themselves FC Dallas.
-North Texas wins the Sun Belt conference a few times and makes bowl appearances.
-South Lake High School becomes the darling of a nation's high school football programs

Now, the Cowboys see a turn around and begin to swing back towards greatness, and what happens?

-The Stars are the second to worst team in their division and can't seem to right the ship.
-The Mavericks look old and overpaid and, oh dear god no, are looking to make a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE decision.
-The Rangers are about to overpay free agents and trade away young talent in an effort to be the next Tampa Bay Rays.
-FC Dallas trades away their best forward for Kenny Cooper and haven't smelled a solid victory against the in-state rivals, Houston Dynamo, in awhile. (I have no idea if that's true, but you'd believe me anyway)
-Todd Dodge, in one move, screws two programs, South Lake and North Texas

So which do you prefer?

America's Team going through epic fail with the relative success and championship contention of the rest of the teams in the area?

OR

The Cowboys making runs at the title and the rest of the city's sports teams stuck a shit storm.

Better buy those commemorative coins while you can

The Mayor of Green Bay, I'm sure.

That's right, even I'm going to say it, Mike McCarthy and Ted Thompson's lives could be in danger.

Imagine for a second, you live in Green Bay, WI. Eating fried cheese curds, drinking PBR, your teeth are grating because not even you can stand the accent, and every house has an altar to one Brett Favre and the Packers. (And I don't even have the vendetta that Bear has against that place)

Now imagine that your sitting in your house in January (because you've been snowed in), and you're watching the NFL playoffs, but the Packers didn't make it because they missed the Wild Card. You are, however, watching Brett Favre lead the New York Jets in the playoffs.

Urge to Kill, Rising...

Nevermind the fact that Tom Brady went down, the Bills collapsed and the Jets made huge investments in free agents this summer, thereby opening the door for themselves.

Nevermind that the perennial AFC powerhouses are all down this year, therefore opening the field to those second and third tier teams to make it.

Nevermind that the NFC is more competitive than it has been recently, therefore closing the window on the usual 9-7 team sliding in.

Nevermind that Adrian Peterson finally decided to put the Vikings on his back, and that the Sex Cannon has returned to Chicago better than ever to make the NFC North a tough division that cannibalizes itself.

This is totally Ted Thompson's and Mike McCarthy's fault because Brett Favre would have the Packers at 7-3 and Aaron Rodgers sucks...right?

Remember, Packer Fans...

Whats up Austin!

So this post is for people in Austin who need to make a little cash, or fans of the best show on TV, Friday Night Lights. I'm not going all Bill Simmons on you and gush how you should be watching this show or the terrorists win, but its a damn good show, and anybody that I have met that has sat down and watched 2 episodes, agreed its one of the better shows to come out in a long time.

So i have a buddy of mine, that works "in the biz." He has done some movie work, working behind the scenes and what have not, and currently he is working on FNL in the casting department. They are shooting the big Championship game this weekend and has asked if we would try and help him get people down there for it. You get to be a part of the show, free food, and some cash to boot! here is the details.

"Friday Night Lights is shooting the State Championship game for the Dillon Panthers. Extras are needed beginning at 1:00pm on both Friday and Saturday, the shoot could go as late as 10:00pm so you should plan for the whole day. There will be prizes raffled off, you will be given a lunch and snacks throughout the day and at the end of it all you get paid $56 per day. Not to mention you will see actual football played and also get to see your favorite FNL cast members at work.

The game takes place this weekend at the DKR in Austin TX, home of the TX longhorns.

If you are interested please call the casting office @ 512-707-7934 for more info or to book a spot."

So if your interested, give them a call.

As another side bar, I got to meet the actor who players "Buddy Garrity" last year at a football game, and he is just as proud of the show as anybody, and was extremely welcoming and nice.

Sports.

Someone's got a birthday today

That's right, exactly one year ago this little blog was born.

We've seen The Brown Five sputter and fail. We've seen the College Football Power Rankings stay powerful. We've seen the NFL Power Rankings fall. We saw the 12 days of Maverick Christmas, and my constant rants against anyone under the age of 25, as well as Big's constant jew hatred and love for video games and fat girls.

We look forward to our second year of blogging.

I think in blog years, we're like 18, so that makes us legal...I'm so going to go have sex with Fleshbot or The Hun or some other adult site.

The NFL meets the WWE

The more I think about it, the more i think the NFL wishes it were the WWE. I know alot of you think the WWE is tainted because it fixes matches, and relys on story lines to get views sucked in, but the NFL does the same thing, except it doesn't fix matches, i think.

So lets do this, the NFL as WWE superstars.

Tennessee Titans 9 0 Randy Orton - really good, yet not held with the respect of other top dogs

New York Giants 8 1 HHH - might be at the tail end of their prime, but still the camps.

Carolina Panthers 7 2 edge 3rd best record in the league, yet nobody likes them

Arizona Cardinals 6 3 matt hardy - best performer in a shitty division

Atlanta Falcons 6 3 CM Punk - better than they should be for their time

Baltimore Ravens 6 3 Undertaker - Strong, plays well, yet is at the tale end of greatness

New England Patriots 6 3 Kane - big, slow, wins alot, former champ, nobody cares

New York Jets 6 3 Mr. Kennedy - all talk, nothing to back it up, yet

Pittsburgh Steelers 6 3 Big Show - just fits

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 6 3 Umaga. Everybody knows they are good, yet nobody really likes to watch them.

Washington Redskins 6 3 Chris Jericho - cult following, better than should be due to lack of size

Buffalo Bills A 5 4 Kofi Kingston: Flying under the radar as a great young talent but will soon be at the top of everyones list.

Chicago Bears 5 4 Dave Batista - people want to root for them, big and scary, yet you like them

Dallas Cowboys 5 4 John Cena - either you love em or you hate em, best talent in nfl

Denver Broncos 5 4 Jeff Hardy - all flash, yet still fizzles out before winning big game

Indianapolis Colts 5 4 JBL - once a great champion, still formidable, yet not like they once where

Miami Dolphins 5 4 William Regal - you know you should respect them, but you kinda still don't

Minnesota Vikings 5 4 MVP - all the potential in the world, yet still missing a few pieces

Philadelphia Eagles 5 4 - The Brain Kendrick - Thinks they deserve the world, when they haven't won anything yet.

Green Bay Packers 4 5 HBK - not as good as they once were, but still put on a hell of a show, and people like to root for them

Jacksonville Jaguars 4 5 Finlay - they just like to fight

New Orleans Saints 4 5 Ray Mysterio - fun to watch yet can't take as serious contender

San Diego Chargers 4 5 - Miz and Morrison lead by a douche Morrison/Phil River, and a crybaby Miz/LDT

Cleveland Browns 3 6 Charlie Hass - never know what team you will get with them, either really good, or really bad

Houston Texans 3 6 Evan Borne - you can see the potential to be great, yet isn't near that yet

Oakland Raiders 2 7 Jamie Noble - can pull a win out their ass every once in a while, kinda like rooting for them, yet you know they are crazy

San Francisco 49ers 2 7 Hacksaw Jim Duggan - Once a respectable team, now just a joke.

Seattle Seahawks 2 7 Shelton Benjamin - should be much, much better than they are

St. Louis Rams 2 7 Festus - either a bad, stupid team, but if the bell rings at the right time, they can pull one out

Cincinnati Bengals 1 8 Crime Time - come on, this one's too easy

Kansas City Chiefs 1 8 - Carlito - famous name, trying to live up to greatness

Detroit Lions 0 9 super crazy - there super! they are crazy! they are super crazy!

Mid Season College Coaching Outlook

Get it? It's a carousel, and it's a post about coaching.

As we slowly inch towards the end of the college football season, inevitably this is where coaching jobs open up and get filled. Some school go with re-treads, some snatch from the pros, and some go grab assistants from programs du jour. I doubt any program would be stupid enough to hire from the high school ranks, right? (That's for the Texas jabs, Big, you jew hater.)

(I'm not claiming this list is wholly encompasing of the jobs that are going to be available, I'm working from memory right now.)

The big ones that are open now...



Clemson

What do you get?
A constantly overrated ACC team that's been "Bowdenized" for awhile now. A team that isn't really motivated anymore. A shaky quartberack situation since Whitehurst left and an inexperienced offensive line. Oh, and two of your top recruits have dropped Clemson off their lists.

The Clemson job is interesting because you'd be in a weak conference, and for some reason the preseason pollsters love you, so if you just win your conference, you're in good shape.

Likely Candidates
Dabo Sweeney (interim coach, Clemson)
Will Muschamp (defensive coordinator, Texas..ask Iowa State and Syracuse how that worked out for them)
Skip Holtz (head coach, East Carolina)
Tommy Tuberville (head coach, Auburn)



Kansas State

What do you get?
A regressing team that is fading behind Kansas and Missouri in the Big XII North. The Wildcats' defense has been nothing short of pitiful these days and Prince went the Juco route of stocking his talent base...a usual gamble in the college football world. Kansas State has jumped up to bite some people during Prince's reign (yes, I'm looking at my alma mater), but for the most part, they probably wish Bill Snyder was still around.

Likely Candidates
Bill Snyder (former head coach, Kansas State)
Dennis Franchione (former head coach, Texas A&M)
Gary Patterson (head coach, TCU)



Purdue

Tiller retired, and Danny Hope was already named the head coach, so I don't think this really is part of the carousel.



Tennessee

What do you get?
One of the (tarnished) crown jewels of the SEC. Like it or not, Tennessee is one of the big programs of the SEC and is always a big game on the schedule for people. Phil Fulmer just hasn't been able to rekindle the days of Peyton Manning Tee Martin.

Likely Candidates
Butch Davis (head coach, UNC...ignore what he says about wanting to stay there)
David Cutcliffe (head coach, Duke...ditto for Cutcliffe)
Mike Leach (head coach, Texas Tech)
Will Muschamp (defensive coordinator, Texas)




Washington

What do you get?
Well, the worst team in college football right now. A team that's at the bottom of the recruiting pile in the PAC-10. A team that can't seem to win a game at all. A team that just makes people scratch their heads as to what the hell happened under Ty Willingham.

Funny thing about Washington is that this seems to be the most rumored job for NFL coaches to end up at.

Likely Candidates
Lane Kiffin (former head coach, Oakland Raiders)
Jim Mora Jr. (offensive coordinator, Seattle Seahawks)
Mike Leach (head coach, Texas Tech)
Jeff Tedford (head coach, California)

The big one that's about to open up (I think)..



Notre Dame

What do you get?
The most storied, albeit overrated, college football program in the country. A lucrative deal as the "outsider" team with agreements for each bowl and the BCS, as well as your own television deal with NBC. Not to mention a shit ton of money from alumns who want to return Notre Dame to greatness. The Great Weis Hope experiment has failed miserably, and I believe Notre Dame wants to ship his fat ass out of there.

Other openings, both definite and possible...



Auburn

What do you get?
You get Auburn, a perennial SEC favorite that always seems to falter when they should be at the top of their game. Tuberville's done a solid job winning the Iron Bowl 6 straight times and getting an undefeated team to be shunned for the national championship. Tuberville has admitted that his team's been vanilla this year, and that things haven't exactly gone to plan...rumors have his seat red hot now.




North Texas

What do you get?
Boy, I'm not going to pretend like I know this team like Big does. I'm just going by what I've heard from them. North Texas has a whole lot of nothing going for them, and the Dodge ball experiment hasn't really one over as planned. Ask Big what he thinks because anything I say is conjecture at best.



Toledo

What do you get?
Toledo, one of the MAC darlings were notified that their coach, Tom Amstutz, was resigning at the end of the year. A pretty sputtering offense with no lock at quarterback, but a solid rushing attack can vault a coach's resume to something further down the road. Toledo has won a few MAC championships, but has had a pretty piss poor season so far, though they did notch a win against Michigan.

Likely Candidates
I'm not going to lie, I don't have the slightest idea. I'd say look for mid-tier coordinators and wash out coaches trying to re-trench themselves at a known program.



West Texas A&M

What do you get?
I don't know, I just wanted to remind everyone of the failure that Ryan Leaf has become.

A View from Mayne Street

So, "Mayne Street" debuted on ESPN.com today.

I've made no secret that am an ESPN guy. Sure, it's like an abusive relationship and I keep making excuses for ESPN, but I can't stay away.

However, I like Kenny Mayne. I find him funny. He seems like a a guy that I could grab a beer with. ESPN.com is now featuring a web-series called "Mayne Street" with Mayne doing funny bits with ESPN celebrities.

The debut episode features Mayne and Scott Van Pelt attempting to close off a Sportscenter broadcast. You throw in Alison Becker (Joey C's girlfriend from "Z Rock"), and I'm sold. My favorite part is when Van Pelt loses it.

Anyway, if you've got 5 minutes to burn, check it out.

College Football Round Up - Week 11 - And then there were 2

Iowa, Realy?!?

I'm not a big fan of either Texas Tech or Alabama, but i do love good football, and I would love the see the best offense I've seen in years (Tech) go up against one of the best defenses in the country (Bamma), so as a favor to me football gods, please let Tech and Bamma get through the rest of the season undefeated and play each other in the BCS championship game! I'm begging you.

In all honesty, I really don't think that will happen. To be completely honest, I think both teams will lose. Tech to Oklahoma, and Bamma to Florida. Leaving us with about 15 one loss teams, with only 2 spots open to play for the BCS, and right now, I throw my bets behind Oklahoma vs. Florida, or USC vs. Florida, because if I know anything, its that the WWL sucks a bunch of SEC and USC taint.

I didn't get to watch football this weekend like I usually do, due to the fact I was on a camping trip this weekend, to celebrate mine and a buddy's birthday. We picked this weekend as there was no cowboy game, and its finally cold enough to camp without sweating you balls off. Camping was fun, but it did hinder my football watching, so I'm going off of highlights and box scores. Bare with me.

Main Eventers -

No. 1 Alabama (win 27-21(ot), No. 16 LSU 21) - Everybody knew that this was going to be a close game. Brown was updating us though out the evening with super phone as to how this game was going. Looks like this one went about like I thought it would, lots of good D, LSU running the ball well, came down to which team would commit the fewest mistakes, and when your QB throws 4 picks, its tough to win. I don't know what Bamma has in the pipes when it comes to QB's, but in 2 years, when Julio Jones is a junior, and they can get a good QB in there, this team will be almost unstoppable. I'm not saying John Wilson is a bad QB, but 15-31 isn't going to install fear in peoples hearts.

No. 2 Texas Tech (win 56-20, No. 9 Oklahoma State) - Coming into this year, there were people who said this Tech team was better than any Tech team well, ever, but they still have a wacky offense, and are the third most important college football team in Texas, so I still find it strange that Texas Tech is number 2 in the polls, and has a legit shot at the BCS championship game, and unless he totally implodes, the Heisman trophy winner in Grahm Harrell.

He went 40-50, 456 yards and 6 TD's. Against what was considered the best defense in the big 12. At the start of the season, when looking at the Big 12 schedule, Tech traveling to Oklahoma was almost a gimme win for Oklahoma, now, after beating Texas, and demolishing Okla Light, I think now Tech has a shot, not just a shot, but a good one. I can't wait for this game in two weeks.

Mid Card Guys - Much like John Cena and HHH, unless there is some sort of swerve we don't see coming, the two teams above are the two top stars in college football, and should headline Wrestlemaina, but these next teir guys still have something to play for, should the Main Eventers lose.

No. 5 Florida (win 42-14, Vanderbilt) - I have been back and forth between which school I thought should be number 3, Florida or Texas. Texas has better wins (Oklahoma, missou), and a much better loss( Tech) than Florida (wins Georgia, LSU, loss home to Mississippi), but watching Florida, when they "click," I don't know if there is a better team out there. The past 4 games, against Vandy, Georgia, Kentucky, and LSU, they have outscored the other teams 294-50. Those four teams aren't bad teams either. 3 were Ranked in the top 15 at one point this year, and Kentucky has played everybody close this season.

No. 4 Texas (win 45-21, Baylor) - The Horns did exactly what they needed to do, to get by this decent, but not good Baylor team. McCoy put up 300 yards and 5 td's. I know Brown's got a chart that tells you how the Big 12 could breakdown if it Tech drops a game to Oklahoma, and we have 3 one loss teams who all lost to each other, but the best chance for Texas to make the BCS game is if Tech goes undefeated till the Big 12 Champ game, and then lose, and they might get in the back door.

No. 6 Oklahoma (win 66-28, Texas A&M) - My top 5 has 2 SEC and 3 Big 12 teams, and its a trend that's likely to continue. The conference with the best offense(big 12) and the best defense's(SEC) NEED to play each other in January. Oklahoma has put themselves in a situation to once again play spoiler to the Texas teams, if they can beat Tech in two weeks, they will probably jump Texas and Tech in the BCS, giving them the right to represent the South in the Big 12 Championship game. This game saw another 600 total yard preformace from the Sooners, and it was a balanced attatck with 325 in the air, and 328 on the ground.

Alot of talk the past few weeks was Oklahoma's D, and whether or not it was championship worthy. Well, this week against a good pair of RB's, the Sooners held Texas A&M to 26 yards on the ground on 29 carries. Thats a 0.9 yards per carry.

No. 7 USC (win 17-3, No. 21 California) - I feel kinda bad for USC. They might very well be the most talented team in the Nation, but unless a bunch of teams drop another game, they won't get a chance to play for the BCS title, due to the lack of quality teams int he Pac 10. The one loss to Oregon State who has the inside track to win the Pac 10, was just as bad as Florida losing to Mississippi, yet because they have no really good teams like LSU and Georgia to redeem themselves on, they are at the back of the pack of the 1 loss teams. Its a shame too, because this team has a NASTY defense, holding Cal to under 200 yards total offense.

No. 3 Penn State (loss 23-24 Iowa) - While I like the fact that Penn State lost, because now we will probably get a Big 12 vs SEC championship game, it would have been really cool to see JoPa playing for a national title. But alas, in what has to be a typical big ten game, neither team passed the 300 total yard mark, and it was a battle of field goals. Good bye Penn State, I hope you enjoy getting your ass kicked by USC in the Rose Bowl.

BCS Busters -

No. 17 Ball State (win 45-14, Northern Illinois) - I am really starting to root for Ball State to go unbeaten. How crazy would it be to have a dejected team, say Texas Tech, play Ball State in the Sugar Bowl? Better yet, how about Ball State vs Big East Champ Cincinnati! Nothing says BCS like Ball State vs Cincy!

No. 8 Utah (win 13-10, No. 12 TCU) Could 2 non BCS schools get in BCS games? If Utah wins out, which will be hard as they still have to play BYU, and Boise wins out, i don't see how you can put one in over the other. And what if Ball State wins out too? Surly there can't be three teams!

No. 10 Boise State (win 49-14, Utah State) - Come to think of it, if all three of guys runs the table, lets let the coaches play a game of Simon to see who gets to play Pitt in the Fiesta Bowl, the two losers can play each other at the Arm Forces bowl or some such. Red, green, green, blue..........

Local Love

No. 12 TCU (loss 10-13 No. 8 Utah) - Really didn't see this one coming, TCU lost with 48 seconds left, after out gaining the Utes 416-275. Turnovers and penalties killed the Horned Frogs though, and thus their chance to be the first one loss non bcs school to go to a BCS bowl game comes crashing down.

Southern Methodist (loss 26-31 Memphis) - SMU had their chances in this one, pulling to within 1 twice, but they just couldn't stop the Tigers rushing attack. Getting out gained 306-38 on the ground will leave your defense out there way too often.

North Texas (loss 13-46 Florida Atlantic) - At one point in the second quarter it was 6-9, then the Owls rolled off 37 straight points. Its hard to win games when you can't play defense (507 total yards given up, 46 points), hold on to the ball(4 turnovers) and can't convert on third downs (2-11). I'm giving Dodge one more year, because its still real to me damnit!

Because I doubt you care about the specif teams who are bowl eligible, I'm just going to give you a break down of conferences, and how many teams are ready for bowling,

ACC - 8
Big 12 - 7
Big Ten - 6
SEC - 6
Big East - 5
Pac 10 - 5
Mountain West - 4
Mid American - 3
CUSA - 3
WAC - 2
Sunbelt - 1

Good stuff, ACC, you piece of shit conference.

This makes sense to everyone, so of course the MLB said no

Marky Mark and the Cuban Bunch

Granted, this comes from the rumors section of SI.com, but Bud Selig and the baseball owners association is going to do everything it possibly can to make sure that Mark Cuban will never own the Chicago Cubs.

If you haven't followed the story, Sam Zell of the Tribune company wants to sell the Cubs, and he's got a list of bidders. One of those bidders was our own shark toothed wunderkind, Mark Cuban. His bid? $1.2 billion, yes with a "b". However, things keep stalling out because Zell has to get full approval from the baseball owners association and, utlimately, Bud Selig.

The baseball owners association needs a Mark Cuban to shake things up. Forgive me if Steinbrenner, Hicks, Angelos, Reinsdorf, and Loria don't really do much to fire up a fan base. I don't see those guys having a beer with fans and sitting behind (or in) the dug out to yell and rant and rave with fans.

I know I've said before that Cuban buying the Cubs will take his focus away from the Mavericks, but at this point, I think Cuban buying the Cubs could save baseball. Re-invigorate a major fan base. Be in the news on a daily basis. Openly chastise the owners and Bud Selig for the same shit that fans have been doing for years now. Ultimately, by having a guy like Cuban bust up the cronyism and old boys network of the owners association would be just the spark baseball needs to re-establish itself as a top sport.

I'd really just like to see Mark Cuban and Tom Hicks sitting together at the AA Center and Cuban taking Hicks to task about something baseball related. And then they'd get in a money fight and throw bricks of $100 bills at each other. And the Mavs dancers would be naked. That'd be awesome.

In apology...

Me too, sweety. Me too.

So, sorry for my little rant yesterday. Apparently me going serious shouldn't be happening, and I agree 100%.

As an apology, I'd like to offer a story for you, and hope you learn a little something from it.

I've been on a "kind of" diet recently to make sure that I don't steal the moniker from my portly blogger pal. I say "kind of" because I manage to find myself in a situation every weekend where I'm surrounded my people who just want to party with me. (You can read that as I found a new bottle of Knob Creek in the pantry and decided to order the 6 hour block of porn channels on DirecTV.)

Anyway, one of the dietary substitutions I made was, instead of rocking chips and salsa, one of the building blocks of the food pyramid, I switched to pita chips and hummus. I wish I could explain my reasoning here, but I can't. So, without really paying attention one night, I managed to eat an entire container of roasted red pepper hummus.

Seems appetizing, no?

I know, you think you know where this is going. You're close.

The gaseous emissions that result from your stomach digesting an entire container of that stuff might be qualified as "holocaust level gasses". I share an office with two other people, and they had to leave for the rest of the day. They're guys so they found it hilarious, as did I.

The problem was, this never went away. A full 12 hours later I had to pick up the folks from the airport, and my mother had to roll down the window and yelled at me while my father laughed.

I know what you're thinking, "why didn't you just go to the restroom and release?"

Well, first of all, what a gay way to ask me to take a shit. Second, I did, and that's the lesson for you. Don't eat an entire container of hummus unless you want to reek vengeance upon everyone in a 10 foot radius.

Oh, and to make this sportsy?

"John Williams is the man"

Because we are dorks here at the big and the brown. Funny stuff.



Big ups to uni, he found this peice of gold

Terrible Correlations and Restricted Satire

The Big and The Brown: Old West Style

Great, at least 4 more years of this

Personally, regardless of political leanings, the fact that African American has been voted the President of the USA truly is an historical and amazing event. I think it speaks volumes towards the direction that this country is headed. I'll put aside some of the most racist shit I heard or read via text message on Tuesday night because the majority spoke and that's the case.

In my only political statement I'll make in my life, let me say this. Regardless of your political leanings or beliefs, this guy is our President. For those who supported him, you got what you wanted, now let's see the man follow up on those promises. For those who were against him, you spent your entire time trumpeting your love for this country. Now that country has a leader and if you love it, you'll support him and follow him as he leads. People don't have to live in extremes, less we end up in an awesome South Park parody.

However, there are two things that are going to happen now that are going to drive me crazier than Lawrence Taylor.

1) Leap of Faith Correlations

I'm looking in your direction, ESPN. Exactly how are you going to draw the conclusion and reference point that because America voted in a black president, more colleges need to hire black head coaches? I must have missed something. I understand putting rules in place like the Rooney Rule and the Eddie Robinson rule. That makes perfect sense to me. But, come on, let's not be so stupid as to say that because the election of Barack Obama, Oklahoma is going to fire Bob Stoops and hire Tyone Willingham. Wait...that should actually happen, but I digress.

By the way, my favorite line in that whole piece was this, "Staffers for Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez told surveyors he is not Hispanic." I doubt Hispanics would like to claim him as their own.

2) Jesse and Al teaming up like Ace and Gary

Politics is followed by satire like peanut butter and jelly. Period. It doesn't have to be hate filled like Democrats have been the past 8 years, and it doesn't have to be extremist and confusing like Republicans the 8 years before that. Comedy and satire are natural lenses that we can few society and leaders of society. As the soon to be most powerful person in the country not blogging under the pseudonym, Brown, Obama is going to be satirized and made fun of. Unless you're some of the readers and commenters on this blog who tend to say some pretty questionable shit sometimes, THE HUMOR IS NOT RACIST. Got it Jesse? Got it Al? Just because someone makes fun of or mocks Barack Obama, it's not a slight on the black man.

What's the over/under before Jesse, Al, Whitlock or Ricky Smiley scream "racism" after the first set of jokes are made at Obama's expense? I'll set the line at 5 minutes.

Anyways, to think that the election of a black man as President is going to change the sports landscape is a pretty stupid thought to have. He's not the commissioner of any of the leagues, and, trust me, there's a shit ton of other things him and his staff need to worry about first. If he's mocked or scrutinized because he's more worried about throwing the first pitch out at the White Sox opener or because he put a basketball court in the White House in lieu of a bowling alley, it's not being racist (hopefully), it's being funny (also, hopefully).

Now, because this was a semi-serious post, I'd like to close with the following....

Sure, we've got a new president, but what about my teams!

I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing or saying right now. I've been in a haze since Saturday night when Michael Crabtree went Tyrone Prothro before he mangled his leg, Larry Fitzgerald and Calvin Johnson all wrapped into one college receiver.

The Mavericks have started the season with a full blown "meh" feeling.

The Cowboys...well, this sums it up

The Stars, well, at a distance I think they've also got this "meh" thing going but I think I remember hearing something to the effect of them having the highest goals against average in the league.

The Rangers just signed Mike Maddux, brother of Greg, to be the new pitching coach. Maddux is, for all intents and purposes, "the best pitching coach in the league", so the Rangers wallet whipped him to come here. Welcome to hell, Mike. Maybe you and Orel will be doing some broadcast work together when you inveitable lose faith in baseball and quit for good.

I'm not trying to be bleak here, but I'm starting to worry about the overall health of my fandom.

I need something, anything to bring me out of my sports lurch...

College Football Roundup - Week 10 - Welcome to November

This could get interesting.......

Welcome to November.

Last year we saw a slew of team grab the number one spot for a week or so till they were upset by someone, opening the door to a new number one. This year may not be that much different. Is it a good thing? That depends on who you are.

With the emergence of the spread offense, easier recruiting, and cutting down of roster size, the college football landscape has become more wide open, and harder for the great teams to dominate and sustain a full season of bad assness. I'm not going to use the parody word, but the idea that a recruit can go to a school like Texas Tech, start from day one, be in a high powered offense, and still have TV exposer have made the have not, into kinda haves.

Teams that are Bowl Elliglble: Maryland Georgia Tech Miami (FL) North Carolina Missouri Kansas Texas Tech Oklahoma State Oklahoma Texas West Virginia Pittsburgh Cincinnati Connecticut Penn State Michigan State Ohio State Northwestern Minnesota Navy Tulsa Rice TCU Utah Brigham Young Air Force Central Michigan Ball State Western Michigan USC California Oregon Florida Georgia South Carolina Kentucky Alabama LSU Boise State San Jose State

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Bowl Eligible Break Downs:

SEC - 6

B12 - 6

Big East -5

Big 10 - 5
ACC - 4
Mountain West - 4
Mid American - 3

Pac 10 - 3
CUSA - 2
WAC - 2

Sun Belt - 0

Let's get to the top ten.

Main Eventers.

No. 2 Alabama (win 35-0, Arkansas State) - Took care of business. Held the red wolves to 158 total yards. Because of Tech's looming slate of games, and Penn State's bye week, they are the default number one right now. Two things of note for Bama, if they make it, they will more than likely play Florida in the SEC champ game now, that should scare Bama peeps, but before they can get there, they have to go to Baton Rouge this weekend and play a good, but not great LSU team. God I love November football!

No. 7 Texas Tech (win 39-33, No. 1 Texas) - What can be said about this game that hasn't been talked about already? Tech scored an early safety, which set the tone that the Red Raiders were here to play on both sides of the ball. If Crabtree's 10 rec for 127 and that last second touch doesn't have him at the top of Heisman lists at least this week, then the people who make the lists are slighting him because he plays for Tech. If he was a Sooner, Volunteer, or even Nitney Lion, everyone would be down on their knees right now.

No. 3 Penn State (idle) - How nervous are you if you are a State fan? You have only three games left, you will be favored in all of them, only one on the road, and for several reason's, people are going to try and say you don't belong in the BCS champ game? I'm not rooting for Penn State to run the table, if for nothing else we can hear JoPa talk about getting screwed out a chance to play for a national title. "I'm never leaving" Good times. They travel to Iowa this weekend.

No. 8 Florida (win 49-10, No. 6 Georgia) - Say goodbye to the Dawgs, and hello to the "lets all hope and pray Florida and Bama don't get upset over the next month so we can see one hell of an SEC Championship game" thought. Only 14-3 at half, and I thought the Dawgs were going to make a game out of this. Boy was I wrong

You won't beat Florida, or just about any team, when you turn the ball over 4 times. 3 picks from Dallas' own Matt Staford, who has done very little to empress me as a first round QB talent. You couple that with Timmy Tebow being responsible for 5 TD's and its church. Florida travels to Vandy this weekend, not an easy game this year, and Florida State at the end of the season.

No. 4 Oklahoma (win 62-28, Nebraska) - Umm, 35 points in the first quarter? From just one team? Wow, i guess Stoops was right when he said "Our defense isn't bad, its just that our offense is so good we put them on the Field alot." They Caused 4 turnovers and had over 500 total yards offense. Boomer Sooner indeed.

Mid Card Guys

No. 5 USC (win 56-0, Washington) - Holy crap what a beat down. We all know the Media loves them some USC, and has been force feeding us them for the past 5 or 6 years, but in all honesty, I don't think there is a better defense in all of college football then the Men of Troy. Albeit Washington is terrible, but when you hold a BCS conference team to 184 total, 113 passing, 71 rushing, and force 4 turnovers, your pretty damn good.

Here's an idea that nobody has ever had, ever, Lets let the Pac-10 Champ and Big 10- Champ play each other for the right to play the Big-12 vs. SEC Champ games! I'm kidding, that's way to much like a playoff system, and I'm against that. But it would be fun to see USC and Penn State play each other for the right to play for a national championship.

No. 1 Texas (loss 33-39 No. 7 Texas Tech) - Is the season over for Texas? Not in the least. They only have one conference loss and own the tie breaker to both Oklahoma and Oklahoma State. If they can go undefeated, and Tech drops to one of those teams, they are right back in the Big 12 title hunt. The big concern coming into the season for the Horns was their young, inexperienced secondary. And it finally showed. They let 474 yards passing on Saturday night, and showed their inexperience by dropping 2 picks that could have been game changing.

All that said, Colt McCoy still proved he is among the best QB's in the nation with that ballsy4th Quarter performance driving them down to score with 1:29 left.

No. 9 Oklahoma State (win 59-17, Iowa State) - Oky Light is back in the title hunt after the upset of Tech. They took care of business over the worst team in the Big 12, Iowa state to the tune of 682 total yards. Zach Robinson, the oft forgotten Okla St QB, had 395 yards and 5 TD's with 66 yards rushing in this rout. Now they travel to Lubbock, with a chance to play themselves back into the title hunt.

No. 11 Boise State (win 49-0, New Mexico State) - Despite going 1-6 on third downs, the Smurfs rocked poor New Mexico State to the tune of 495 total yards, 216 of which came on the ground. They get the nod over fellow BCS buster Utah due to how bad they put it on NMSU.

No. 13 TCU (win 44-14, UNLV) - If ever they was a case that a one loss non BCS school should get some love from the BCS, its this years TCU. They racked up 410 total yards while holding the Rebels to 175. Time for another showdown this Thursday as they travel to Utah, with the winner more than likely getting a bid to play the ACC or Big East in the BCS.

BCS Busters

No. 11 Boise State (win 49-0, New Mexico State) - see above

No. 13 TCU (win 44-14, UNLV) - dido

No. 10 Utah (win 13-10, New Mexico) - Turnovers kept New Mexico in this game, but the Utes still won handily, as the Lobo's sored a TD with no time left to make this one seem closer than it was. Thursday night, be there.

No. 18 Tulsa (loss 23 - 30 Arkansas) - Goodbye to the Golden Landlocked Hurricanes, proving even a shitty BCS school is better than most non BCS ones. It was close, but a 96 yard return for a TD with 20 seconds left was the difference.

No. 16. Ball State (idle) - 4 games left, 3 on ESPN 2, can they handle the pressure?

Big Ups to all my haters upset of the week

Purdue (win 48-42, Michigan) - For the first time in like 150 years Michigan will not be in a bowl, and they will have a losing record. We knew they weren't going to be very good this year, but it still hurts a bit. Ball State will be in a bowl (probably), and Michigan won't. Cats and Dogs, living together, mass hysteria!

Local Love.

No. 13 TCU (win 44-14, UNLV) - Third time this game is one here.

North Texas (win 51-40, Western Kentucky) - We're not last! We're not last! This fantastic win over a team that wasn't even division one until this year, coupled with Washington losing again, means we have a better record than somebody! NT scored the last 14 points to bring home the win. Letting WKU and hivvy the Blood drop score 40 is a little unsettling.

No game for SMU this week, so they didn't lose!