Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Texas Tech usurps everyone as the stupidest university on the planet

Are you fucking kidding me?  Really?  This is the stupidest god damned thing I’ve ever seen and I’m not even a supporter of this school!?

Mike Leach fired!

I think I speak for everyone when I say…

What. The. Fuck.

Craig James has now destroyed SMU and Texas Tech.  You keep your ass away from Austin, Craig James.  So help me, God, I’ll ruin you if you or your progeny step foot on the 40 acres.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

This makes me happy.

Merry Christmas, everyone.


Hat tip: Warming Glow

Monday, December 14, 2009

Big's end of the Year Awards - TV

It's the end of the year, and despite our lack of focus on this site, we are still here, and we do still care.

We care so much in fact, that i have once again put together a list of things that you should be excited about, the End of the Year Awards from yours truly, Big.

Today we start with TV

We did this last year as well.

Cable TV. How great are thee. With your channels more than three, and such great picture quality. Its easy to see, that without you I would be, a more contributing person to society.

A poem by Mamma-auk-a-boo-boo-day

It was a so-so year for TV in my book. Had some new stuff that was decent, alot of crap again, but that's to be expected. On to the awards

Best Animated TV Show : The Cleveland Show (Last year, Family Guy)

I understand a lot of people don't like Seth McFarland (Cleveland Show, Family Guy, American Dad), whether it be because his predictable formula for shows (Stupid fat dad, Hot Wife, Kid who is smarter than his age, talking animal), but his humor (which seams to be a mix of pop-culcher references, slap stick, and shock jock) is right up my ally.

Just a quick aside, This season of South Parks was their best in years. Whale Whores, and Go Home Fags, were quick possibly the best stuff they have done in a decade.

Runners up : South Park, Family Guy, Simpsons.

Best Comedy: Tie, Better off Ted and The League. (Last Year: How I Met Your Mother)

Better off Ted

A show that I got into in the early part of this year, about a guy working for a product development big business. There are always 3 or 4 audible laugh moments each week. Glad they brought it back.

The League

Let see, I'm a sports dork with a soft side for Fantasy Football and "Guy" humor. Yea, I liked the league a lot.

Runner Up: Scrubs, Always Sunny, Psych.

Best Drama: Son's of Anarchy(last year SOA)

Might have moved into the top 5 shows of all time in my list with this last season. (Top five right now in no order Simpsons, The Wire, Sports Night, FNL, SOA/Sheild).

Come on, it had Henry freakin' Rollins as a white surprimisest. Greatness.

Runners Up: True Blood, Lie to Me, Friday Night Lights.

Best Reality Show (None)

I will say, the 30 for 30 Docu's on ESPN have been fantastic. As was the WWII in HD the history channel did.

Best New Show I'm sure will get canceled soon. Modern Family (Last year: True Blood)

Modern Family

Its good. The gay guys are funny, Al Bundy is great, and the "hip" dad always steals a segment or two every episode.

runners up: Warehouse 51,

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Re-examining the social networking morass

In the immortal words of Val Kilmer’s Doc Holliday, “My hypocrisy knows no bounds.”

If you remember, I was one of the people who denounced and railed against social networking sites like the MySpace, the Facebook and the Twitter.  Now I find myself joining the Facebook and using this little blogsite to join the Twitter.   Again, I’m the first person to admit that I’m a hypocrite in just about every sense of the word…especially on these here interwebs.  I’ve found that having a Facebook account helps me stay in touch with family and close friends and share pictures and maybe share broadcast messages via a status update.  I’ve found that having a Twitter account helps me either a) promote posts on this site b) promote posts on MavsMoneyBall and c) go on Twitter-thons while watching a game, in essence, live blogging for you, the sexy reader.

In my eyes, that’s what these sites were made for, but in the hands on the wrong person, these sites can inherently make me want to shove chopsticks in my ear until I feel something go *pop*. 

For the record,

  • I don’t care that you need help in Mafia Wars
  • I don’t care how your farm is doing in Farmville
  • I don’t care what you baked in your cafe
  • I don’t care what your photo of the day is
  • I don’t care about your daily routine and if you really need to go to the gym
  • I don’t care if you think it’s cold outside
  • I don’t care where you are or what you’re doing every minute of the day

Allow me to respond to the biggest arguments against me on this topic

1) If you don’t like it, then just ignore it or don’t read it.

So, let me get this straight.  We’re friends on Facebook because we’re friends and want to know what’s going on and keep in touch, but I’m supposed to ignore your posts?   As for the don’t read it part, well, that’s a bit hard to do when IT’S 75% OF THE GOD DAMNED SCREEN.  If you’re offended by this, go ahead and remove me as a friend, I won’t have my feelings hurt.  It’s Facebook.  Who gives a shit?

2) I’ve got everything linked together on my phone! What can I do?

STOP LINKING SHIT TOGETHER ON YOUR PHONE! These are two different websites with two different purposes.  Twitter can be updated frequently and to your heart’s content because that’s the intent.  Facebook, however, doesn’t need to be updated every two seconds because again all it does is CLUTTER UP 75% OF MY SCREEN.  If you want me to ignore it, please see number 1.  Is it that fucking hard for you to enter something twice if you absolutely, positively have to put it in both locations?   "Whew, I might get carpel tunnel if I enter “I’m eating dinner now” in two places.  Better merge it into one application!”

3) If it bothers you so much, don’t be on the sites.

Read the entire post, dip shit.

Now, I know for sure that I’ve pissed off at least one of you sexy readers because you’re addicted to the social networking thing and you have to update things every minute of every day.  Just know that you shouldn’t take it personally that I find social networking behavior annoying.  Seriously.  It’s the fucking internet. Who cares what I think? 

I actually went to the stadium this time

Yes, I know we don't post here much anymore. Give me a fucking break, I don't see you assholes writing anything or paying me to write. You can have a Coke, put a smile on your face and shut the fuck up.

This man still gives me nightmares, and I was in the stands.

So, the last time I "reviewed" the stadium, it was based on a few text messages and reactions after the opening game against the Giants. I lambasted the idea of the vast stadium and the catering to luxury boxes and the fucked up logistics of parking and prices, etc. I mentioned that somehow college campuses that routinely pack 95K+ every week for games (Texas, Michigan, Nebraska, Ohio State, etc.) managed to do easily, but the Cowboys couldn't because the pro game experience is too different.

I was blasted in the comments section by some anonymous person who said that I was complaining too much because I only wanted a suite with free parking and beer. First off, I've got an extra "kiss my ass" card for anyone doesn't agree with me. I'm always right, don't you know that? Second of all, I actually ventured out to the stadium for a game, the Big XII championship, so allow me to re-review the stadium based on my own experience.

In a word...meh.

I'm sorry, I just wasn't taken aback by the aura of the stadium and game presentation. I'm going to chalk this up to the fact that it was a college game in a pro stadium, and the way to present a game is different, but here's my pro/con run down.

  • Parking was not as bad or teeth pulling as I expected.
  • Neither was traffic.
  • Line of Sight. We were sitting in the third section, in the corner of the end zone and I was able to see the entire field and not think I was looking at ants.
  • Bathrooms. I didn't think they were that bad. Maybe that's just a comparison factor to everywhere else.
  • The Screen. Sweet Jesus. You hear how big and bad that thing is, but you don't realize it until you see it in person. Almost to a fault, it deceives you as to how big the stadium is because the screen is so mammoth. You have to train yourself to watch the game and not the television, but it's okay if you do.
  • Sound. This didn't work on two levels. This isn't really relevant in a pro game (so not really Jerry's concern), but in the college game, the band is a pretty crucial element to the fans. If you can't hear the band, then it takes away from the college football experience. Similar to the band, it's really difficult for a crowd to really get a good chant going. Check that, it's really hard for certain chants to get going. If the crowd is all doing the same thing, then it works. For example, Nebraska has a "Go! Big! Red!" chant. That works because all the fans are screaming the same thing in unison. However, Texas uses the "Texas! Fight!" chant where half the fans scream "Texas!" and the other screams "Fight!". This works in most stadiums because you can hear what's being said. For the life of me (and the sections around me), every time Texas tried to start that chant, it died immediately because no one could hear "Texas" and no one could hear "Fight".
  • Presentation. Again, this might pertain mainly to the college game, but if you notice, there isn't a lot of "stuff" happening during the college game. The presentation is usually left in the hands of the fans. Chants and band noise and all that. Every time either side tried to get a chant going, the stadium people decided that was the time to either blare music from the sound system or show a commercial on the big screen. This move effectively killed any fan chanting, so it really hurt both teams' momentum.
  • Public Address. This was not the usual Cowboy Stadium announcer, Jody Dean, but this falls onto The Ticket's George Dunham. It usually helps to let the people in the stadium know what is going on. We had no idea down and distance. We had no idea when/if there were penalties. We had no idea when things were being reviewed. It was like watching a game with the sound turned off and KISS FM turned way up.
  • General information. I've heard this before and confirmed it, but there's no information displayed on any of the 2,000 screens in the stadium. I'd like to know some stats and information beyond a small ticker at the bottom of the giganto screen.
All in all, the stadium is nice and all, and a majority of the issues I had can be chalked up simply to the fact that this was a college game in a professional stadium, but I just wasn't as impressed or awestruck as I really expected to be when I came to the stadium.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy Halloween!

If this doesn't put you in the spirit, I don't know what will.

HT : Warming Glow

and if your into the best part of this fantastic holliday, chicks dressing like hookers, Holy Taco has a gallery you check out here . With stuff like this.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

What the hell is happening in Redskins land?

As a Cowboy fan, I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t at all giddy at the fact that the Redskins haven’t been a contender for 10 years.  However, there’s only a certain amount of pleasure you can take in a fandom’s plight when they’re on the ground bleeding and keep getting kicked in the head.

Is it safe to say that Dan Snyder is the worst owner in the NFL?  He’s got contention from Al Davis (and to a lesser degree, Jerrah), but no one could be more blinded by his own perceived light than this guy.

Take a look a this from Steinberg's blog

“…there's a new policy that says no signs of any sort are permitted inside the stadium. Even signs sending best wishes to husbands in Afghanistan.

When and why was this change made? I asked Monday morning, and as of Monday evening, a Redskins spokesman said he still wasn't sure.

Now, no signs or banners are permitted whatsoever. A spokesman told me that this policy is meant to protect spectators from getting injured by signs, and also to make sure everyone can see the action. Because obstructed views at that stadium could not possibly be tolerated.”

What. In. The. Fuck.

How far up one’s ass does one’s head need to be to not realize how bad things really are around them?

Bad signings.  Zero patience.  No listening to the advisors around him.

Either Snyder has adopted the Beltway attitude of “things are great on the hill, who cares about off of it” or he’s really just envisioning himself as some kind of dictator who must crush any kind of rebellion against him.  Either way, it’s come to a point where I actually feel sorry for Redskins fans.


(Note:  I do not feel sorry for Redskins fans.)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Mavericks Season Preview

Check out the team breakdown at Mavs Money Ball.  Here’s the overview…

So, what are we looking at in the NBA this year?

-Shaq's in Cleveland, making his fourth alliance with "the next big thing" (Hardaway, Bryant, wade, James).
-Boston picked up Sheed
-Orlando brought home Vinsanity
-LAL brought in a pit bull with Artest
-San Antonio got really scary with McDyess and Jefferson
-Oh, and that Blazers team that everyone said a better point guard because Steve Blake wasn't it?  Yeah, they're a year older and got Andre Miller.

Needless to say, the NBA's rich just got richer.  There are a host of other story lines: refs, impending CBA lockout, Von Wafer's hair, Blake Griffin's ACL which I am now referring to as "the Clipper's ticking time bomb", but that's not why you're reading wanna know about your Dallas Mavericks.

Click here to read Brown's preview over at


1) Cleveland (LeBron, Shaq...yeah)
2) Orlando (Lost the Turkish MJ, got Vince Carter...wash)
3) Boston (They're old, but they're the good old)
4) Toronto (Bosh and Hedo, I smell buddy flick!)
5) Atlanta (Joe Johnson and Jamal Crawford is gonna be lethal)
6) Chicago (Baby Bulls and Vinny of the Black!)
7) Detroit (New look Pistons with Gordon and Villanueva)
8) Philadelphia (Elton Brand is healthy. Eddie Jordon brings the Princeton offense.)

1) Los Angeles (if I need to specify, you're retarded)
2) Portland (I'm telling you, these kids are going to be good)
3) San Antonio (Healthy Manu and Jefferson on the wings? McDyess at the five and Duncan at the four? Yikes.)
4) Utah (Same old)
5) Denver (Melo's hungier than ever)
6) Dallas (I just broke them down)
7) New Orleans (The Paul and Chandler pick and roll was special to watch…how well can it run with Okafor?)
8) Golden State (I really really like Stephen Curry in Nellie-ball)

Finals: San Antonio & Cleveland

Champion: San Antonio

You guys are WHERE??

We’re blogging with big boy pants now.  Just like we’ve moved our wrestling thoughts over to The New PWB, we’ve been asked to contribute to Mavs Money Ball this season on SBNation.  I’m not sure how we were selected, and it’d be a lie to say that we aren’t excited about it.

Quick note to our ass hole commenters, MMB is a big-boy blog and we’d rather you kept it sportsy over there.  I may or may not be posting more TB&TB flavored versions of posts over here, so you can comment your ass off to those. 

Also, we’ve re-instated the twitter page (@bigandthebrown), and I’ve been keeping up on that front.

It’s an internet revolution, mother fuckers, TB&TB style.

College Footbal Weekly Round up - Week 8

Mark Ingram Heisman?

We are starting to reach the point in the season where things really start happening. Most of the pretender team have been washed out, and this is the time where the cream of the crop start to rise to the top. Being a man of size, I'm pretty big fan of cream, and I'm looking around this college football landscape, and I see very little cream. Very. Little. Cream.

Sure there are a few big school still undefeated at the top of the standings, and more than likely two of the big three will ride the course and stay undefeated and play for a national championship, but in my honest opinion, it wouldn't surprise me if all three of them have one loss going into bowl season.

The fun part about this year is the running joke series that is the BCS, and what they will do if two smaller schools are the only two that run into January undefeated. What will the BCS do if, for example, Bamma and Texas drop a game, Bamma then beats Florida in the SEC championship game, and the only undefeated teams are TCU, Boise, and Cincy. One of those guys has to get a shot at the BCS title game, right? How awesome would a Cincy TCU bcs game be? On the rankings

Main Eventers

No. 1 Florida (Win 29-19, Mississippi State) - 13-10 at half time. Against Mississippi State. Sure your defense is good, but you have to do better than 2-12 on third downs if you want to repeat. If State can shut down your passing game, can't wait to see what the Sabin can do.

No. 3 Texas (Win 41-7, Missouri) - I don't understand the voters in either poll. Texas wins a close game, at a neutral site, against what we all thought was a top 5 team in nation at the start of the year, and they drop back to three. Yet when they destroy a former top 25 team on the road and the number 2 team has to block a gimme field goal to win, and they still stay three. I'm pretty sure CBS said "hey, lets just leave Bamma and Florida 1-2, so when they play each other in the SEC title game, we can call it a 1 vs 2 game! Think of the ratings!"

I thought after the Oklahoma game i had seen the best defensive game that Texas would play all year, then they follow it up with this one. Allowing only 174 yards to a good Missouri team is quite impressive. I still have my doubts about the offense (137 yards rushing is good, but 7 guys rushing to do that isn't), but this Texas defense seems good enough to hoist a trophy this year.

No. 2 Alabama (win 12-10, Tennessee) - 2 things I learned walking away from this game. 1. Bama's got some great luck, and one hell of a defensive front. 2. Some point in the next 4 years, Tennessee is going to be the Tits of the SEC. With only 4 games left for the Tide, the LSU game in two weeks should be interesting, but with two weeks to prepare for it shouldn't be too tough, that leaves only Auburn at the end of the year as a game that could be in doubt, but probably won't be. Bama is ripe and ready to go against Florida in the SEC title game.

No. 5 Cincinnati (win 41-10, Louisville) - For the first time Cincy is entering my Main Event status, mainly because I don't know if 2 of the three team above them can go the distance, and even without star Tony Pike, the BearCats put up almost 500 yards and 41 points on Louisville.

Mid Carders

No. 6 Iowa (win 15-13, Michigan State) - Usually an undefeated big 10 team at this point of the year is in my top tier, but not this team. To beat a very average Mich State team, it took a TD pass at the buzzer. If they can beat Ohio State in three weeks, then i will consider them legit.

No. 8 TCU (win 38-7, No. 16 Brigham Young) - Watched this one VS and I must say the presentation was pretty good, but the play by play guy was about as terrible as it gets. Look VS, i know you want to have an "edgy" feel for your station, make it seam like a guys network, but I don't need somebody who is trying to be Gus Johnson. Gus Johnson is greatness, but what makes him great is the idea his super excited calls are genuine and don't feel forced what so ever.

Now, on the TCU, who scored on three of their first 5 drives, and taking a 21-0 lead, in Utah, against a team that beat Oklahoma on a neutral site. This game was over in the third quarter when QB Dalton hit WR Hicks for a 75 yard score.

No. 4 Boise State (win 54-9, Hawaii) - What can you say, Boise dominated every aspect of this game, as they should have. Its just getting hard to remember that win over Oregon at home so long ago. And with nobody on the schedule that is worth a 50 cent steak, i fear I will forget that game before its all said and done completely.

No. 7 USC (win 42-36, Oregon State) - If the BCS apocalypse happens, and we are left with a couple non BCS schools undefeated, and a bunch of one loss powers schools, you can't count out the men of Troy. The one loss on the road, coupled with another pac 10 championship, which would include a win over fellow one loss Oregon, might be enough to have the over hyped Trojans in the title game again. Of course there are a lot of things that must happen for that to take place, and that includes a win this week at Eugene, against a very good Oregon team.

We are going to forsake the Developmental teams this week, due to lack of quality teams at the bottom of the top 25. It just seams that every time you think you know something about a team, they shit the bed and arn't worth talking about. I'm looking at you Texas AM (get rolled by K-State then roll Tech) and Nebraska (Iowa State? Really?)

So instead I'm going to give you your college football schedule for watching on TV coming up on Halloween.

11:00 AM No. 8 Cincinnati at Syracuse - See if Greg Paulus can stop the Bearcat Cinderella season (hint: he can't).

2:30 PM Georgia vs. No. 1 Florida - The Dogs don't have much to play for this year, so this could be a trap game (hint: it won't be)

7:00 PM No. 3 Texas at No. 14 Oklahoma State - Biggest road game for Texas all year.

7:00 PM No. 5 USC at No. 10 Oregon - I would say flip between the two, but they are both on ABC, so enjoy the Texas game. I'm calling for an Oregon upset if you care.

Happy Halloween people.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A product all girls should have.

I remember seeing this awhile ago, but forgot about it till i saw it agian today.

I would totally get my girlfriend one of these, but you as you know, she is in Europe, waiting on a visa, and she doesn't like talking on the phone with people she has never met, but trust me, she is real.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

College Footbal Weekly Round up - Week 6

I know I missed last week. I'm a bad person. But very little has really happend in college football. Same as 2 weeks ago there are so far 3 legit teams, Florida, Texas, Alabama, a slew of next tier guys, and a few less BCS busters. Lets get to the rankings

Main Event.

No. 1 Florida (Win 13-3, No. 4 LSU) - Took care of business in what was their biggest test to date in Baton Rouge. Any of the next three could be trap games, home to Arkansas, @Miss State, home Georgia, but I think Bamma vs. Florida in the SEC title game is going to happen.

No. 2 Texas (Win 38-14, Colorado) - Looked like shit for a half, then remembered that Colorado sucked. Here come the "this is only thing that matters anymore" Sooners. Be warned.

No. 3 Alabama (Win 22-3, No. 20 Mississippi) - So much for the Jevon Sneed hype, 11-34, 140 yards, 4 picks.

Mid Carders

No. 5 Virginia Tech (win 48-14, Boston College) - Only loss was to Bamma, and they have wins over Nebraska and Miami. If they can survive Georgia Tech this week, they could not lose again the rest of the year.

No. 9 Ohio State (win 31-13, Wisconsin) - Looks like TP is starting to get it. Ohio State won't be in the national title game this year, but look out for them in a rematch vs USC in the rose bowl, they could take em.

No. 6 USC (idle) - Hope they lose to Notre Dame this week, but I doubt it. Looking forward to USC Oregon on Halloween.


No. 16 Kansas (Win 41-36, Iowa State) - Still unbeaten, looks like them and Nebraska will get the right to lose to either Oklahoma or Texas.

No. 13 Oregon (win 24-10, UCLA) - Only team in the Pac 10 that is undefeated in conference. @Washington, then host USC coming up. Time to show me.

I'm going to hold off talking about UNT until next week, as we had another heart breaking last second loss this week. But its Homecoming this week, and I will tell you what happens at homecoming next week.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


Don't worry the college post will be up later today. This was too funny to pass up.

more like this over at

(I know, i'm a dork)

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

So, now that they’re done, will you talk about them?


Yes.  Now, that they’re done, I’m going to talk about “them”, the Texas Rangers.

What can you say about this season short of it was fantastic?  I understand that the team fell short of the playoffs by petering out and playing a shitty last 20 games.  (I’m assuming the last 6 games aren’t going to be gangbusters and the Red Sox aren’t going to drop 6 straight.)   However, this season was much different than the 80+ win season of a few years ago. 

One reason.  There’s a future.

A couple of years ago, when the Rangers had the nice season no one believed that the next season or seasons were going to be great.  That team wasn’t young, it had guys like Tex who we all knew wasn’t going to stay.  It was an aberration.  

The team this season actually backed up the message that we’ve been hearing from the front office for years. “Wait for 2009, wait for 2010, that’s when we compete.”  Now, the young prospects are paying off, more importantly, it’s the pitching that’s arrived.  The staff is young and promising.  Feldman, Hunter, Nippert, Holland, Feliz, all set for promising futures.  Add in the futures of young guys like Davis, Murphy, Andrus, Borbon and upcoming guys like Smoake and you’ve got a nice core of players to work with.

So why are we still worried as fans? 


Tom Hicks ran out of money this year, and the MLB has, for all intents and purposes, taken over the Rangers.  Which means that the other owners have a say in how things are run.  Which means the Rangers can only offer slot values for draft picks, hence not being able to sign their top pick this year. It means not having the capital to sign free agents, which MUST HAPPEN WITH MARLON BYRD AND JOSH HAMILTON.

Tom Hicks has always been the problem with the Rangers.  The front office and the team are finally solid and promising, but the problem begins and ends with the owner.   If Tom Hicks can’t sell his team to a buyer who can afford to grow the Rangers, all the good vibes ad promise that have been built this season are for shit.

Monday, September 28, 2009

College Footbal Weekly Round up - Week 4

Oh JoePa, I'm sorry.

Two things struck me this weekend while watching college football, One, weekend with no "good games" on the schedule almost always become good football watching Saturdays, and two, TB&TB College Round up is starting to gather a Madden/SI like curse for the who i talk about for the first time, and/or put a pic of on top. Sorry Javed Best and JaCory Harris, my bad.

Main Eventers:

No. 1 Florida (Win 41-7, Kentucky) - This one was never close. The end of the first quarter it was 31-0. Tebow ran for 2 more TD's and is like 3 behind the great Hershel Walker for most rushing TD's in SEC history or some such. Something to watch, Tebow took a shot in the third quarter, head got bounced off the turf, took a little ambulance ride to the hospital for a overnight servalence. Insert your own "Tebow rises from the un-opened tomb three days later joke" here.

No. 3 Alabama (Win 35-7, Arkansas) - Yup, I moved Alabama ahead of Texas. Body of work so far. That's the only reason. One of the best analysis of Bamma I have heard all season was said by the play by play guy of their game this week. I'm going to paraphrase it suchly "bamma had one way of beating you last year, pure, over powering brutality. This year they have many ways they can beat you, but they can do none of those things as well as they could just beat you down last year."

Basically he's saying, nobody really knows what kind of team this bamma team is, all we know is that they are good, really good. Like "freaky" good.

No. 2 Texas (win 64-7, UTEP) - Got a text from brown early in this game, "Colt pick six, time to start drinking." While I was pissed he didn't use the "taint" phrase (Touchdown After INT), little did we know, that would be the only points UTEP could muster. At one point late in the game, Texas even put in a white out offense, consisting of all white players. True story. Not even one Mexican.

And to this point in the season, those are the only teams worthy of playing for a national title. Things could change, but when it comes to the big schools, that are still undefeated, that look good enough to be crowned, that's it.

Mid Carders

No. 7 LSU (win 30-26, Mississippi State) - Good things for LSU in this game: they caused 4 turnovers, Bad things: only 263 total yards. Maybe they were looking forward to two weeks when they host Florida, or this week when they go to UGA, but if they can't do a better job of moving to the ball against the gators or the bulldogs for that matter, its going to be a rough couple of weeks.

No. 11 Virginia Tech (Win 31-7, No. 9 Miami (FL)) - It was raining, hard, at VaTech this weekend, so much so that neither team did anything in the air. Combined they had 248 yards passing. The weather, plus a good defense completely took JaCory Harris out of the game. No Harris, no chance for the U to win. So as of right now, VaTech is the best one loss team in the nation, with wins over Nebraska and Miami, and their only loss coming against Alabama.

No. 10 Oklahoma(idel) - Time for the Sooners to prove if they are worthy of being in the hunt with the big boys, they go to Miami this week.

No. 13 Ohio State (win 30-0, Illinois) - Illinois isn't a terrible team, and with Iowa proving that they are somewhat legit, OSU now has one hell of season ending trifecta, @Penn State, home Iowa, @Mich.

No. 14 Cincinnati (win 28-20, Fresno State) - Despite the fact the BearCats only had 57 yards rushing and only had the ball for 16 min, they continue to win. Tony Pike has gone over 300 yards passing in all but one of his games, and has thrown multiply TD's in all of his games thus far, including 300 yards and 3 td's this week. He is your dark horse Heisman, and Cinncy is your dark horse national title game participant. You herd it here first.

Iowa (Win 21-10, No. 5 Penn State) - So sorry Joe Pa, but Iowa has got your number. For the 8th time in 9 years, Iowa has beaten Penn State, this time in happy valley no less. 4 turn overs, a 3.3 yards per carry, and a monsoon was the reason this year. Is Iowa for real? Doubt it, they always beat somebody they shouldn't, but time will tell.

No. 8 Boise State (win 49-14, Bowling Green) There is 0 difficulty on the rest of Boise's schedule this year. Zero.

No. 17 Houston (Win 29-28, Texas Tech) - So they beat Oklahoma lite, now they have knocked off Tech with a TD inside of one min. Time to start the Hype Train. I will say this, Art Briles, now head coach of Baylor, brought most of the guys who are "rocking it" right now, including QB Keenum (38-58 435, 1-1). Says alot about where Baylor might be heading.

Developmental Teams

No. 20 Kansas (win 35-28, Southern Miss) - Another good win for Kansas, and another great game for Todd Reesing (30-41 331 3-1).

No. 15 TCU (win 14-10, Clemson) - another very nice win for TCU, as they knock off a decent ACC school in Clemson. Again they do it with defense, holding the Tigahs to under 200 yards passing.

Auburn (Win 54-30, Ball State) - Don't look now, but Auburn is 4-0 under new head coach (and former fail of Iowa State) Gene Chizic. 560 total yards of Offense will do that for ya most weeks. They get a good little show me game against Tennessee this week.

Big ups to all my haters upset of the week goes to South Carolina proving my theory that No. 4 Mississippi "aint all that great" by beating them 16-10 on Thursday night. When are teams going to stop scheduling road Thursday night games? The road team never wins those. (unless of course you are north Texas"

Speaking of North Texas, I'm afraid we are back to the old Todd Doge ways this week. After a promising win and near win the first two weeks of the season, I thought this team would be different, but alas, the 37-21 loss to Middle Tennessee State Saturday night proved me wrong. You can't let teams rattle off almost 500 yards against you AND Turn the ball over 5 times. Come on now.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

“The party passes seems like a good idea…on paper”


That was the final (sober) test message I received from Bizzle on his visit to the disastrous opening of the Death Star on Sunday night.  (His tale is comedic enough as it is involving him riding his bike to the stadium, getting drunk, losing his friends, avoiding a riot and being too short to see the screen, but I’ll leave that for him to tell one day.)

I’m a Cowboys fan.  However, the idea of going to that cluster fuck of a stadium and seeing a game in that monstrosity is the most unappealing concept on the planet.   Just so we’re clear, you’re asking me to spend a minimum of $100 (ticket, transportation, beer, parking, etc.) to watch television because I can’t see the field.

“But it’s something to see!” 

“It’s the Cowboys!”

“Games are fun!”

All valid points.  But what am I paying for, really?  The chance to see a poorly coached team half-ass it through a game while an ego-maniacal psycho sits in his booth in the sky and lords over legions of fans who turn on a dime and are interested for maybe 10 minutes?   Teams aren’t afraid to play here.  Our fans aren’t intimidating in the least.

“How dare you say that!?  I’m a fan, I cheer all game long!”

Yeah, you and all the other people shuttled off to the cattle class of the “party pass”.   The stadium itself just doesn’t appear as though it’s fan friendly.   The stadium is seemingly turning into the AAC during Mavs games, which isn’t a good thing.  

“You haven’t been!”

Yeah, fuck you, that isn’t my point.  The reviews of the 100,000 people who did go seem to paint a good enough picture.  

I’ll tell you what events you should go to if you really want a fan experience that’ll blow your fucking nuts off.  College Football. 

Go to a big program’s stadium on a game day and buy a ticket.  It isn’t corporate, it’s fans.  Sure, you’ve got alumni that are pompous and quiet, but they’re the minority, not the majority.  DKR Texas Memorial Stadium?  It’s considered quiet by college football standards, but it’ll rock your balls off on game day. Ever been to Kyle Field on game day?  Fucking Cult Mad house.  I can’t imagine the scene in Gainesville, Ann Arbor, Columbus, etc.

My point is, when the “common” fans are given the control of the stadium/arena, then the home field advantage is felt, and it’s a fun atmosphere and it’s worth the money that you pay for it. When you’re trying to impress the corporations and the high dollar customer, you become a laughing stock and the opportunity cost of going versus staying at home is not even a debate.

NFL Rankings, Doing it Big

I tried to do this last year, every week. I wasn't very good at keeping it going. Alas, I'm here again to offer you a slightly modified version from last year. I won't do this every week, but I will try and knock one of these out every once in a while. Its my look at the NFL, and after two weeks, there are some surprises, but that's why they play the game.

NFL Rankings, after week 2

1 New Orleans Saints 2-0 - This was the hardest spot to pick. My first thought was to put Baltimore number one, but looking at everything, the Saints are the most impressive team after 2 weeks. Not only have they put up ridicules offensive numbers, but new DC Jim Johnson(ED. whoops)Greg Williams has turned this defense into "respectable."

2 Baltimore Ravens 2-0 - When you think about Baltimore, you always think about defense, but so far this season, the defense has been the week point. They have allowed 50 points so far in just 2 games. The good thing? Joe Flaco has a 96.1 QB rating, and has thrown for 5 td's in just 2 games.

3 New York Jets 2-0 - Holy crap, the Jets are good. New head coach Rex Ryan has this defense playing like his early 0's Ravens with a league leading 241 yards allowed. You hold teams to field goals like they are doing, and have a QB, rookie or no, that is as efficient as Sanchez is, wins.

4 New York Giants 2-0 - 2-0 already in the hardest division in all of football. Sure you want more than 52 yards per game from Jacobs, but taking this early lead in the division is nice.

5 Indianapolis Colts 2-0 - I would have them higher if they didn't win their first two games by a combined 6 points. Scary stat? They are allowing 176 yards rushing a game. Yeikes.

6 Atlanta Falcons 2-0 - Solid wins over Miami and Carolina. Ryan looks good. So does Turner. Getting Tony Gonzalez in the off season may have added that one piece this team was lacking last year, a go to reviver when you need 4-8 yards.

7 Minnesota Vikings 2-0 - Favre hasn't imploded, AD is running like a freakin' freight train. They have destroyed two very shitty teams. We will find out what this team is made of over the next 2 weeks, when they host San Fran and Green Bay

8 San Francisco 49ers 2-0 - Speaking of San Fran.....They are now also 2-0 in their division. They traveled to Arizona, won, and hosted Seattle, won. Shaun Hill might not blow you away with his numbers, but when you have a back that averages 6.2 yards a carry, and a defense who has held two very good offenses to 16, and 10 points, you don't need to win games with your arm.

9 New England Patriots 1-1 - Yes, they should be 0-2. Yes, Brady has attempted 100 passes in just two games. Yes, Randy Moss has yet to get into the end zone. Yes, trading away their best pass rusher is biting them in the ass. All of those things are true. But this is still New England. This is still Belchick. And they were missing Welker last week.

10 Pittsburgh Steelers 1-1 - If they didn't miss that feild goal, and Tennessee didn't lose to Houston, I would have put them at least in front to New England. They have played the toughest first two games, of any team, and looked good in both for the most part. Troy's injury is proving not only that the madden curse is real, but his presence is being vastly missed on the field.

11 San Diego Chargers 1-1 - Baby Pocket Sproles might be my favorite player in the league right now. He's little, but he's mean. Whats not little is the amount of points the chargers defense has given up in two weeks. 20 points to Oakland? Come on now.

12 Chicago Bears 1-1 - Is Cutlerfucker the saving grace of this once proud franchise? Will Matt Forte do ANYTHING on offense? Is anybody still reading this? I don't really know the answers to any of those questions, but I can tell you that being 1-1 when you play on opening weekend, Sunday night at Green Bay, and host the defending Superbowl champs is pretty good. They go to Seattle, who may not have Hassellquarterback, and then host Detroit. 3-1 is not out of the question.

13 Dallas Cowboys 1-1 - Good things. O Lines has been pretty good, Running game has been pretty good, WR's have been pretty good. Bad Things. Demarcus Ware has 0 sacks. The Defense can't tackle. The Secondary looks as soft as a twinkie. Goodbye wade phillips.

14 Green Bay Packers 1-1 - Looked great against the Bears, held Forte to like 20 yards, then the Bengals and Ced Benson ran all over them. Ryan Grant was supposed to be healthy and ready to take the next step, unless the next step is 107 yards and 3.6 yards per carry, your in trouble.

15 Denver Broncos 2-0 - wouldn't surprise me if they finish 2-14. Fluke win over cincy, and then they beat up on the worst team in the NFL. At some point this season, I'm calling it, we will see Chirs Sims take snaps in Denver. Mark it.

16 Philadelphia Eagles 1-1 - Oh what a diference McNabb makes. Wait, he dosn't play defense. nevermind. Show me Mike Vick!

17 Seattle Seahawks 1-1 - This is a team that I think is due for a bounce back year. Then Hassellquarterback went down. That's not good.

18 Tennessee Titans 0-2 - I'm sure people in Tennessee are freaking out because of their 0-2 start. They lost to 2 good teams, so chill out. Wait, Kerry Collins is still your QB. Continue to freak out.

19 Miami Dolphins 0-2 - After Monday's game, I am openly rooting for Miami. They brought us the WildCat, which everybody thought would be a little bit of fad, team would run in once or twice a game. Not the Dolphins. They love that shit. It's like watching Boise State play Oklahoma every week. Love it.

20 Houston Texans 1-1 - Everybody "watch out for them this year" team got shut down by the Jets, then everybody else who didn't think they were very good said "ha, told ya so." Then they outscored Tennessee and the freakish Chris Johnson last week. Now they are back on the "gonna make the playoffs" kick. Truth is? 8-8.

21 Arizona Cardinals 1-1 - Were they hungover from the Superbowl against San Fran? Not really. San Fran is a decent team. You know who's not? Jacksonville. The offense is still good. Warner is still old. Its going to be dog fight in this division, with the winning team probably having a 9-6 record, and losing to a wild card team.

22 Buffalo Bills 1-1 - MUCH better than I thought they were going to be. The Defense looks pretty good, and Trent Edwards has moved from serviceable QB to a decent one. Big show me something game this week against N.O.

23 Washington Redskins 1-1 - Defense is good. Offense is terrible. They won't win more than 6 games as long as Jason Campbell is their QB. Sam Bradford anyone?

24 Oakland Raiders 1-1 - This team might have something. They have some playmakers on offense (McFadden, Miller, that other WR), and a defense that is very respectable. Problem? JaMarcus Russell looks hideous.

25 Cincinnati Bengals 1-1 - The quintisental "older team trying to make one more run at it." If they don't make the payoffs, look for Marvin Lewis to be gone, Ochocinco to be gone, and another rebuilding process in Cincy.

26 Jacksonville Jaguars 0-2 - People in Jacksonville can't even watch the games on TV because only like 20,000 people are going to the games. Average Team + Shitty attendance = 5-11

27 Carolina Panthers 0-2 - Oh Jake Delhome, what happend? You have a stud running game, good WR's, and a line that is above average, yet you only muster a 45.3 QB rating in your first 2 games. For shame.

28 Kansas City Chiefs 0-2 - I would buy stock in KC if the NFL were the stock market and I had some expendable cash. Will they be very good this year? Probably not. Are they on the uptick though, yes.

29 Tampa Bay Buccaneers 0-2 - I kinda feel bad for Byron Leftwhich. He was thought of as one of the can't miss QB just a few short year ago. Now he is given the starting job in Tampa by default, and is blowing it. He just isn't very good. And neither are the Bucs.

30 St. Louis Rams 0-2 - 2 games, 7 points. Nuff Said.

31 Detroit Lions 0-2 - I would like to congratulate the Lions on not being the worst team in the NFL anymore. Not because they don't suck, They suck big harry balls, but its because the Browns take the gravy train every time they go on the field.

32 Cleveland Browns 0-2 - Oh Brady Quinn. You beautiful bastard. 1 TD in 2 games? Maybe if you played from behind more you would get more chances, oh wait.

Monday, September 21, 2009

College Footbal Weekly Round up - Week 3

Two Heismen Guys you may not know.

I may have OD'ed this weekend. As big of a football fan as I am, I don't think I could ever say that it was possible to watch too much football, but i over the past few days, I may have watched too much football. I went to a high school game Thursday night, and Friday night. I went to watch my beloved mean green kickoff against Alabama on Saturday at 11:30 AM at a local watering hole, and then stayed at said watering hole all day. From kickoff to last play of the west coast games. To top it all off, I spent 10 hours or so watching NFL over at browns house Sunday. (He makes money, he can afford the Sunday Ticket.)

It was quite a weekend. Did i watch too much football? Maybe. Would I do it again this weekend if given the chance? Absolutely.

On to the rankings.

Main Eventers

No. 1 Florida (Win 23-13, Tennessee) - The first semi test for the defending champs, and they passed with flying colors. The defense held the Vols to just 210 total yards, only 93 of which came in the air. They got Kentucky this week, and then travel to Baton Rouge to play LSU in two weeks. That's going to be fun.

No. 2 Texas (win 34-24, Texas Tech) - The 10-3 halftime score surprised me, I don't care how many new players Tech has, holding them to just 3 points in a half is a good thing. We all know the next game that really matter for Texas is Oklahoma, and its not a good sign when a team can come into your house, and pass for over 400 yards like Taylor Potts did in this game, but they have to feel good about allowing just -6 yards rushing. Two weeks of shitty teams (UTEP, Colorado) are the only ones left before the daunting 3 game stretch of Oklahoma, at Missouri, at Oklahoma State.

No. 4 Alabama (Win 53-7, North Texas) - So much for shocking the world. Reily didn't play, and that's a good things, as Bama's D was way to much for Dodge ball. Not gonna win alot of games when you rush for 61 yards. Ohh and on the bamma tip, Greg McElroy can play. The back up Star Jackson (what a crazy good porn name) didn't look to shabby either.

No. 8 California (Win 35-21, Minnesota) - Very Nice win for the Bears. Minnesota came in undefeated just like Cal, but the nations most electric runner, Javeed Best, was just to much. His 131 yards on the ground and 5 touchdowns were ridiculous.

No. 9 LSU (Win 31-3, Louisiana-Lafayette) - I hesitated putting LSU in my top 5, but after Washingotn beat USC, their narrow victory over the Huskers doesn't look so bad anymore. Couple that with them crushing Vanderbilt and ULa-La, and they might be a legit team. They have to travel to Georgia in two weeks, followed by a home game against Florida, so they are going to have a chance to earn it in the coming weeks.

Mid Carders -

No. 5 Penn State (Win 31-6, Temple) - Like I said the last two weeks, they will stay here till they play at Mich in late October.

No. 5 Mississippi (win 52-6, Southeastern Louisiana) - Maybe its Houston Nutt, maybe its because EVERYBODY is picking these guys to be the surprise team out of the SEC this year, but I just can't buy into the hype. Is Jevon Sneed a good QB? Yes. Have they put up points against 2 lesser teams? Big time. But I still don't think when balls are on the wall, these guys are more than a 9 win team. Good? Yes. BCS worthy? Nope. They go to South Carolina this week for the first kinda test of the young season.

No. 10 Boise State (Win 51-34, Fresno State) - If Boise goes undefeated, do they have a shot at the national title? They have proved they could grind it out against a good team with the win against Oregon, and this week they got into a shoot out and just rolled Fresno State. Between the two teams, there was almost 1000 yards of total offense, and over 600 yards running.

No. 20 Miami (FL) (Win 33-17, No. 14 Georgia Tech) - Got a text from Brown on Friday that red, "DO you believe the JeCory Harris hype? At first i didn't know who JeCory Harris was, but that's because in my NCAA10 video game, the online dynasty that I am in with Bear, he is Miami and he did the "generate names" bit, and needless to say, his QB isn't Jecory Harris. To the original question, I do believe the hype.

Miami, who might have the hardest first 3 games out of college in the nation, has now beaten (soundly), Florida State and Georgia Tech. Their reward? Going to VaTech this weekend.

No. 11 Ohio State (Win 38-0, Toledo) - The first one loss team that I've put on my board in part because I think they are better than most teams, but mostly because of the game they played Saturday. Toledo is a trap game of sorts, and OSU just straight up punched them in the mouth. Terrelle Pryor (no relation to Richard, despite the questions at the bar Saturday) is still young, and still has many many flaws, but this super Sophomore showed flashes of why this kid was the cats meow coming out of High School. Saturday he had 262 yards passing, 3 td's and a 2 picks, to go with 112 yards rushing and another TD. If he can become a better drop back passer, OSU will be back at the top of my list pretty quick.

Developmental Teams

No. 17 Cincinnati (win 28-18, Oregon State) - Fear the BearCat. Oregon state is a decent team, and were no match for Tony Pike and company. Pike brought his team back from a 21-8 halftime deficit, with his 332 yards passing. Looking at their schedule, there is no reason Cincy can't go undefeated this year. They will be favored in every game they play from this point out, and they get West Virgina and Illinois at home.

No. 15 TCU (Win 56-21, Texas State) - With BYU losing bit go Florida State, TCU is now the number two BCS buster in the nation behind Boise. Unlike most of the BCS buster schools in the past (Boise, Hawaii, Utah), TCU really gets it done on defense. They held shitty Texas State to under 300 total yards of offense. They go to Clemsen this week, another game they should win.

Texas A&M (Win 38-30, Utah State) - A&M is notorious for not playing anybody early in the year, and this year is no different. But unlike the past few seasons, they are actually winning these games this year. Their QB Jerrod Johnson has looked solid so far this season, helping them get off to this 2-0 start, including putting up 322 yards and 4 TD's this game. Another warm up against UAB this week, before Arkansas comes to town.

No. 22 Kansas (win 44-16, Duke) - I said it last week, and I'll say it again this week, people are sleeping on Kansas and the fighting Mangino's. Tod Reesing is a legit QB, and they should rattle off 3 more "easy" wins before hosting Oklahoma in late October.

Big Ups to all my Haters upset of the week is Alabama over North Texas Washington 16-13, No. 3 USC. The superstar freshmen QB Barkley didn't play for USC, but Jake Locher did for Washington, and he lead his team in what has become a yearly occurrence for USC, losing a conference game they should have have easily. Things like this will happen when you turn the ball over 3 times and don't force any, just ask the Cowboys.

North Texas didn't win. Already talked a bit about it. This week stars SunBelt play and we will really see if this teams week one win over Ball State was the turnaround we thought it was or not.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Fantasy Football. Help me understand it.

Unlike what my portly blogger friend told you, I don’t feel like I’m better than people who play fantasy football, and I don’t feel like it’s below me.

I just don’t get the fascination.  I mean it.  Everyone I know, damn near everyone I know, follows/plays fantasy football like it is their job/career/life.  Shit, even FX is putting a show together that is wholly based around the concept of guys playing fantasy football.  Part of the Sunday Ticket package is to follow “your players’” statistics. It’s literally, I’d say, as big as the game itself now.

That’s fine, I don’t have a problem with it.  It doesn’t get in the way of my watching football, and it usually leads to some pretty entertaining (yet petty) arguments among my friends that I get to watch from the stands.  However, I just don’t see the appeal.  In my mind, and I swear to God, I don’t mean this in a demeaning way, it’s like Dungeons and Dragons.  A bunch of guys create a fantasy scenario where they "own people” and based on stats of events outside of one’s direct control, the game is played out.

Being so disconnected from fantasy sports, I really have some questions that I’d like answered.  Again, this isn’t to demean anyone who plays fantasy football (everyone), this is really just for me to try and understand why it’s so popular.

Brooks over at SBB has put something similar up, so I’m just going to borrow his questionnaire.

  • Why do you play fantasy sports?
    • To keep up with my favorite players
    • To stay close with distant friends
    • To make money
    • Everyone else does it
    • Other
  • How has fantasy football affected your relationship with your significant other?
    • No change
    • Helped
    • Damaged
    • Not applicable
  • How has fantasy sports affected your relationship with your favorite teams?
    • Added to my love for my favorite team
    • Diminished my love for my favorite team
    • No change
    • I’m a bandwagon fan, so it doesn’t matter
  • Has fantasy football been good for the NFL?
    • Yes, it has increased interest
    • No, it’s just perverted fan allegiances
    • No change
  • Fantasy football _____
    • is here to stay, so you might as well get on board
    • is a fad, and isn’t going to last forever
    • isn’t for everyone

Unlike what you might normally think I’d do, I’m not looking to shit on fantasy football because it’s popular…like I do with Twitter and music.   I agree with Brooks in that I think it’s gotten big not because of people, but because the media embraced it…like betting lines or anal.

By the way, just answer the questions or share a quick comment or two, don’t write a fucking essay response like I’ve asked you about you thoughts on the political climate of the United States. (Yes, Bear, I’m looking at your long winded ass)

Monday, September 14, 2009

Patrick Swayze Died

You probably swung by expecting some jokes about how “God has a bouncer for the pearly gates now” or how Whoopi Goldberg is gonna hear shit on the set of “The View”.

I’m not going to do that.  Only because Swayze died of cancer, and cancer isn’t funny.  Making fun of cancer is just asking for some bad shit to happen.  Trust me, my people invented the concept of karma and I’m afraid of jinxing sports teams, so I won’t make a cancer joke.

You know what is funny?

College Footbal Weekly Round up - Week 2

Yea, the Houston hand sign is a shocker. UH my ass. wait, did I just say my ass and shocker in the same caption? That can't be good.

The first "show me" weekend has happened, and 1 team has proven themselves as legit(USC), one that couldn't live up to the hype(Oklahoma Lite), and 3 teams that might be more of a contender than you think(Michigan, TCU, Cincinnati).

Lets just get straigt into the bisnazz.

Main Eventers

No. 1 Florida (Win 56-6, Troy) - HoHum, the best team in the land beat another under matched team in the Gator second pre season game. This week we find out how good they are, and also if Tennessee is for real.

No. 3 USC (Win 18-15, No. 8 Ohio State) - Ohio State has T.Pryor, the fastest man alive, and USC was rolling out their superstar in waiting freshmen QB Matt Barkley. I really thought this was the year Ohio State got this monkey off their back. For 3 and a half quarters, Barkley looked like a freshmen QB starting his first big road game, then the last drive happened, where he was just nails. When USC took the lead 1:05 left, I thought to myself, "self, I really hope Pryor can lead them down to a FG and send this bitch into overtime. This is where the hypetrain really takes off for Pryor." Man was I wrong.

On a side note how is Jim Tressell not on the hot seat? Yea he wins in the big 10. He beats Michigan, which we all know is what they live for in Columbus, but over the past 4 years, he has lost to Texas (VY), beat Texas (Fresh Colt), Lost to USC (Sanchez), and lost to USC (Barkley), in their big non con games. Couple this with his BCS record is an average 4-3, how much magic does his 2002 national title hold, when it itself was about as lucky a season as one could have?

No. 2 Texas (win 41-10, Wyoming) - 13-10 at the half? That's not looking too good, but then Colt McCoy came alive, throwing for 2 TD's and running one in as well. Texas Tech comes to Austin for a revenge game this week, should get a better feel for this team after that one.

No. 4 Alabama (win 40-14, Florida International) - Freshmen RB Trent Richardson was fantastic in this blowout(15-118 2 TD's). I'm still not sold on their QB, but this Bamma team is better than last year. God I hope Riley dosn't play this week and we just chalk it up to a loss and get our paycheck.

Mid Carders

No. 7 Penn State (Win 28-7, Syracuse) - Like I said last week, they will stay here till they play at Mich in late October. QB Dayrll Clark was solid again going for 240 and 3 TD's.

No. 10 California (Win 59-7, Eastern Washington) - Holy Crap Javeed Best is a Beast! The Golden bear running back is built like an elite back (5'10", 190) in the mold of Emmit Smith, yet is faster than both Barry and Bush. He put it on Eastern Washington for 144 on 17 carries. Watch out USC.

No. 16 TCU (Win 30-14, Virginia) - Yea, UVA lost to William and Mary last week, i know, but they are still a big conference school, and TCU went to their turf, and hit them in the mouth repeatedly. Frogs were lead by a Defense that shut out UVA till late in the fourth. Could this be the year?

No. 9 Brigham Young (win 54-3, Tulane) - No let down here. BYU rolled

No. 13 Oklahoma (Win 64-0, Idaho State) - Poor Idaho State, had to let OU take out all the frustrations of last week out on them. QB Landry Jones played alright, but when your defense allowed only 44 total yards, including -22 rushing, a chimp could play QB and you will win.

Development Teams

No. 23 Cincinnati (Win 70-3, Southeast Missouri State) - I know its against a multi-directional team, but when you hang 70, your doing something right. So now, the BearCats have soundly beaten Rutgers (45-17) and hung 70 on someone. Watch out.

Michigan (Win 38-34, No. 18 Notre Dame) - Well, that Notre Dame run was fun while it lasted. This might have been one of the most fun games to watch that will happen all season. It was back and forth (5 lead changes), high scoring, full of big plays, and won with 5 seconds left, when freshmen QB Tate Forcier hit Greg Mathews for the win. What a game.

No. 24 Kansas (win 34-7, UTEP) - The forgotten team in the Big 12, with the best QB people still aren't talking about, has put up some good numbers over the first 2 weeks of the season. Two weeks, when they host southern miss, we will find out how real this team is.

Auburn (Win 49-24, Mississippi State) - Mississippi State is no Alabama, but they are an SEC team, and Auburn put up 589 total yards, and 390 yards rushing against them. Auburn may not be the cock of the walk in the SEC this year, but they are dangerous enough to make some noise.

Big Ups to all my Haters upset of the week is an easy one. Fresh off of "proving themselves" against Georgia last week, Oklahoma State let little old Houston come in and beat them 45-35. Houston's QB Case Keenum was talked about a lot coming into this year as one of those QB's from a small school that could be a good pro, well, 32-46 for 366 and 3 TD's against one of the best d's in the big 12 will help prove that story.

If you were anywhere in the vicinity of the Mid Cities Saturday night, possibly at the Euless Trinity vs Ceder Hill game i was working, and you heard a giant "FUCK!" seemingly coming from nowhere, I'm sorry, because as I was working, I kept checking the old gay phone to see how my beloved Mean Green of North Texas was doing in Denton. They looked good all game, but blew it in the rain of Denton in double overtime. Good news? We held Ohio to 232 yards, Bad News? Reily Dodge went down in the second half. I kinda hope he dosn't play Saturday due to the fact as Gerry Dorsey puts it "Terrence Cody Takes shits the size of Riley Dodge."

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Late NFL Preview


Yes, I’m aware that Week 1 has just started in the NFL, but you know what, last I checked, that’s 1 out of like 20 football weeks.  Unlike women who risk unprotected sex, I can be late with things.

Anyway, here’s my quick overview of the season’s news and some random predictions.

  • Michael Vick is going to be a non factor.  Defenses have learned the Wildcat.  Trust me.   David Carradine’s auto-erotic asphyxiation attempts have been more successful than the Wildcat will be this year.
  • Brett Favre will be a mediocre quarterback.  So mediocre in fact that he’ll be a non-story.  Yup, nothing to see here. 
  • Jessica Simpson is going to resemble Delta Burke really soon.
  • Seriously, I can’t fucking believe Favre did it again.  How the fuck can this shit happen?  Who’s responsible for this?  I want fucking answers that maybe Ja Rule can’t give me!!!!
  • Jay Cutler is a whiny ass hole.  This is a fact.  However, would you rather play for a whiny, granola, Birkenstock wearing hippie fan base and a doucher head coach like McDaniels or would you rather play for a bunch of sausage eating, whiny, girdle wearing Midwestern fan base and the cooolest coach West of Mike Tomlin and East of Mike Singletary…fuck it, I got lost typing that argument. 
  • Terrell Owens is in Buffalo.  How’d Drew Rosenhouse sell this to both sides? 
  • Dallas is going to miss the playoffs. 
  • Sinbad will make a comeback
  • Aaron Rodgers will be the league MVP this year.  He will then engineer a trade to Minnesota.  He’ll do so as a giant fuck you to Green Bay fans who treated him like shit when he was drafted and the 2 years after that.  He will buy Steve McNair’s old house in Mississippi.  Brett Favre will shoot him in the chest four times and then himself in the head.  The story won’t be reported as much as you think it will. 
  • Admit it, you forgot Steve McNair was murdered by a 22 year old girl, didn’t you?
  • Chad Johnson (no, I’m not fucking calling him OchoCinco) will surpass Ashton Kutcher and Shaquille O’Neal as the most followed person on Twitter. 
  • Carson Palmer will be arrested for murdering Chad Johnson.
  • Al Davis will see a surge in popularity when it’s discovered he’s a real vampire and totally knows the Twilight guys!
  • This list will sound more and more like it belongs on a Conan O’Brien “in the year 3000” sketch.
  • NFC
    • Packers (Rodgers will be king this year)
    • Vikings (Peterson and the D, not the old man)
    • Eagles (McNabb has targets now)
    • Giants (Defense wins…even without Spags leading them)
    • 49ers (Pants-Off Dance-Off!)
    • Saints (Brees is that good this year)
  • AFC
    • Patriots (Brady’s back, and he’s baby-daddier!)
    • Colts (Manning’s back, meh)
    • Texans (Yes, this is FINALLY the year)
    • Titans (That running attack and defense)
    • Chargers (Default division winner)
    • Steelers (Best in their division)
  • Super Bowl
    • Patriots OVER Saints

Great, I’m old

Jordan’s in the Hall of Fame.  

Yes, I still wanna be like Mike…and my favorite pair of shoes I ever owned were the old gray, red and black Jordans from, I think, 1993.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Whatever happened to Brown?



Could this be the beginning of a return? 

Is this the rebirth of the baddest motherfucker to sit behind a keyboard or is this going to be wrapped up quicker than Chris Benoit on a bowflex?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.  Time will tell…

Friday, September 11, 2009

You can't make this stuff up!

From the land of "what the fuck? Really?" news, I'm sure you have heard by now that Chargers linebacker Shawne Merrirmen is in trouble for choking Teli Tequila last weekend.

That right there might be the strangest sentence i have ever written.

But wait there is more

""Sources close to the story [say] jealousy played a role in the early morning altercation. The sources [claim] that witnesses at Merriman's home said the three-time Pro Bowl linebacker went to his bedroom with two women. Sources said Tequila walked into the room and Merriman asked her to join them. However, the sources said Tequila reacted angrily and threatened to have sex with a member of Merriman's entourage. According to sources, Tequila was intoxicated, and she got naked and attempted to leave the house."

That from 10 New in San Diego

Somebody watches too much Entourage.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

College Football Weekly Round Up - Week 1

Oh, football. You came and sat without taking, and then you just walked away, ohhh football.....

Can I explain how much joy it brought me to wake up late Saturday morning to real football, being played for real? I don't know if I can. I really don't know.

Lets jump into the rankings.

Main eventers

No. 1 Florida (win 62-3, Charleston Southern) - Nice Preseason game for the Gators, ran for 369 yards, first test in two weeks vs Tennessee.

No. 2 Texas (Win 59-20, Louisiana-Monroe) - Same as Florida, nice preseason win. First game that even kinda matters is two weeks when they have revenge on their mind and host the Red Raiders.

No. 5 Alabama (Win 34-24, No. 7 Virginia Tech) - I wasn't sure that Bama was going to be be able to replace its stud running back Glenn Coffee, but 150 by Mark Ingram, and 90 by Roy Upchurch against a good VaTech team has me believing that this Bamma offense might be better than last year. They are rewarded with a game against FIU this week, but then have the biggest BCS buster ever coming to their town in two weeks, the Meanest of all Green, North Texas (more on them later).

No. 4 USC (Win 56-3, San Jose State) - Be honest, when you saw at the end of the first quarter that San Jose State had a 3-0 lead, you telling all your buddies "I knew it, USC is going to suck this year!" Well, not so much buddy. The freshmen QB looked pretty good (15-19 233, 1TD), in dropping 56 over the next 3 quarters, but it was the running game that controlled this game, of the guys who helped USC rock 342 yards on the ground, 3 of them had yards per carry over 10.

No. 9 Oklahoma State (Win 24-10, No. 13 Georgia) - I'm not as sold on this OSU team as some people are, but they did look damn good taking care of Georgia this week, and they have the Schedule, that if they run the table, they won't be left out of the title game. If they want that to happen though, they need to get the ball to Dez Bryant more than 3 times though.

Mid Carders

No. 6 Ohio State (Win 31-27, Navy) - Game I woke up to on Saturday, thought the buckeyes looked pretty good, left it at half time when they were up 20-7. Little did I know Navy wasn't done yet. They came back, and almost stole it. I know OSU was looking forward to this week, when they get USC, as they should be. Gonnna be a fun weekend.

No. 9 Penn State (win 31-7, Akron) - There is going to be a trend on the mid Card level here on CFWRU, Penn State will stay right around here, until they play @Michigan, late October. Because that is the first game that should even test these guys. Daryll Clark was good in the opener (29-40 353, 3TD 1INT), but they need to do better on the ground to help him out. 136 yards rushing against Akron isn't going to cut it.

No. 20 Brigham Young (win 14-13, No. 3 Oklahoma) - Well, one week down, and already my Nat Title game is gone. (I had Oklahoma Penn State if you care). BYU, what can be said that you haven't heard or read over 100 times already this week? Yea, no Bradford in the second half, but BYU just looked like a better team. If Max Hall doesn't throw 2 picks, I think BYU could have really run away with this one. (Side note, best part of Saturday? Driving up to Denton sat night along I35, which is the highway to get back to Norman from Dallas. The road was crowed to say the least, and I believe I said "Man, all these cars are driving so slow and look so sad" It was then I realised that the BYU Oklahoma game was played at Jerry World in Arlington. It made me smile)

No. 15 Georgia Tech (Win 37-17, Jacksonville State) - I know its only Jacksonville State, but what would happen if Paul Johnson and his triple flex option ran the table? Hardest games of the year? @Miami in two weeks, home to UNC, VaTech, and Georgia. The want for this to happen is so large right now I'm salivating. Think if all the big boys just drop one game, to another top 15 team, and Penn State and Georgia Tech go undefeated due to weak schedules? I'm openly rooting for this.

Development guys.

No. 14 Boise State (Win 19-8, No. 16 Oregon) - I really thought Oregon would be better than they showed Thursday night, even so that I made a 10 dollar bet on them. Boy was I wrong. Boise controlled the clock (42:32 - 17:28), the running game (164-31), and held the Ducks to 1 or 10 on third downs. Of course all people will remember about this game is LeGarret Blount knocking out a Boise player after the game. Check it.

No. 23 Notre Dame (Win 35-0, Nevada) - I like the Irish this year alot. If they can put away an improved Michigan team week, they will be in my second tier group. Jimmy Clausen was great (15-18 315, 4 TD), and his receivers might be the best duo in the game.

No. 24 Nebraska (Win 49-3, Florida Atlantic) - Not too bad for the huskers of corn. They got a good performance by Helu Jr, (152 on 16), and a D that forced 3 turnovers and only 122 yards rushing. Gonna be fun to see what they can do against Kansas, the favorite to win the B12 north this year.

Big Up to all my Haters award for biggest upset goes to, BYU. Yea, that was well done.

In a note that matters to only me, North Texas has already won as many games this year as they did all of last season, as they beat Ball State 20-10. The highly anticipated first start at QB for Riley Dodge (coaches kid, was supposed to go to UT, decided to save his dads job at UNT), went very well, 22-33 216 1TD 1INT, 12 rushes 73 yards. If they can beat Ohio this weekend, I'm coming for you Dorsey. UNT is going to shock the world when they beat Bamma! Mark it!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

QB's as considered by Trent Dilfer

D-Nasty, a loyal reader (one of the only ones left), found a nice article on where Trent Dilfer tells us what QB is the shit, and who is just shitty.

Before we get to the meat of it, allow Trent to explain why he done did this.

"fueled by frustration over pundits' repeated failures to acknowledge and appreciate the most difficult position in sports. After studying quarterbacks throughout my career and spending the past year evaluating the position daily, I believe a strong argument can be made that quarterback play today is as good as ever -- and possibly even better."

I tend to agree with him. Not since the late 90's have we seen the NFL so QB heavy.

"I brought up fantasy football in the beginning because the fantasy mindset has skewed perceptions, encouraging us to view quarterbacks through a statistical lens. We have lost perspective as a result. I purposely did not consult a single statistic in formulating the analysis that follows. My playoff notes, end-of-season notes and firsthand knowledge were my guide."

While I like this non looking at stats bit, its smelled a little to much like "I played the game, I never had good stats, but I have a superbowl ring, so I know good QB's."

"If you can take a five-step drop, keep your eyes downfield and deliver the ball while a 300-pound beast is bearing down on you in a big game, you deserve commendation and appreciation for what you do."


"There isn't a bad player on my list, regardless of category!"

Read: Please still talk to me if I end up being wrong about you! PLEASE!

and now to the rankings. He has Brady and Manning in the "ELITE" range, Bree's and Rivers next in the "SUPERSTARS" range, and next is Roethlisberger, McNabb, Eli Manning, Warner, and Hasselbeck in the "STARS" range.

While I don't think Eli and Warner should be here, he most def puts more emphasis on winning the post season than I do. The next tier is "Knocking on the Door," and number one on that list is our very own Tony Romo. Here is what Dilfer has to say about him.

"1. Tony Romo, Dallas

Analysis: Quickest release in the NFL … unparalleled ability to throw from multiple foot platforms, both intermediately and down the field … as artistic as any quarterback in the league, instinctively using all available resources (eye placement, shoulder nods, pump fakes, arm angles, you name it) … can make something out of nothing on a consistent basis … sometimes careless with the football, both in the pocket and through the air … limited big-game success."

That's pretty right on i suppose. Take a look at the article, its a nice read, and at the end the last group of "not bad players" is the NOT ENOUGH EVIDENCE range, where you will find Alex Smith, Travis Jackson, and JaMarcus. Not Enough Evidence my ass.

Thanks Nasty for bringing us this.

Bigs Fantasy Football Preview

Depending on who you are, and what kind of "fan" you are, Fantasy Football is either the greatest or the worst thing that has ever happened to watching the NFL. It either gives you a legit reason to care about almost every game on Sunday, or it makes you a head hunter, caring only about player that you have on your team, and not the real NFL team your watching.

Brown is one of the later guys who thinks fantasy sports is below him, and I'm one of the smucks who play in about 10 fantasy leagues every year. Its what you love about us, the hatered that boils right below the surface, after all, Indians are the new Jews.

Anyway, I consider myself a strong to quite strong fantasy footballer. I'm not going to say I'm the best, but last year I did win enough money to buy a new big screen TV from fantasy. I've already had one of my drafts this year (the one I care most about), and I have another tonight, and another sometime early next week, so i don't think I will be giving away to much of my strategy with this Fantasy Football Preview.

I will give you three categories, and a couple of tips at the end. The first categories is guys you want on your team, and I'll give you three types, A sure thing first rounder, a slight sleeper, and a super sleeper, for each position that matters.

Guys You Want.

QB - Aaron Rodgers Green Bay. - Outside of Brady, Rodgers is my number 2 QB tied with Brees. He was the 3rd best scorer in all of fantasy last year, and he lost nothing around him. His 2nd year as the starter will give him more confidence, and the defense is getting there to help Green Bay win some games this year.

Matt Hasselbeck - He is healthy for the first time in a couple of years, and more importantly, so is his receivers. The addition of T.J. Houshmandzadeh, who had over 90 catches last year (with no Carson Palmer btw), will give Seattle one hell of wr corp.

Super Sleeper
Marc Bulger STL - This guy was in the top 4 or QB just a few short years ago. His O line has to be better this year than last, and he has some speedy WR's to throw the ball to. I wouldn't suggest you drafting Bulger as your number 1, but he is worth a look in the late late rounds to take a flyer on.

Stud - Matt Forte Chi - If your in a PPR league, Forte might be worth taking over AD, all other leagues he needs to be at worst the 4th player taken. He has a good offense that is conducive to running the ball, and with defenses having to respect Cutler as a QB way more than they did the Neck Beard, his running lanes will be even more open.

Sleeper - Ray Rice Bal - I don't really like to look to hard at pre season numbers, but Rice played in half a game last week and had over 100 combined rushing and receiving yards. Salty is an understatement. Rice is falling because a big name, Willis McGahee, is still on this team, but the number of carries that Rice gets will far overshadow Mr. Monkey Knee. IF you can get Rice as a 2 or a even a three, you will be happy at the end of year.

Super Sleeper - LeSean McCoy Phi - Here is a rookie, who has alot of talent, yet not alot of reps at the moment. The reason is he is behind Brian Westbrook, one of the best backs in all of football. Good news, Westbrook will get hurt at some point, and McCoy will play well when he does. So, if you draft Westbrook, you have his handcuff, if you don't, when westbrook goes down, you now have something that can help your team in a number of ways, with either playing time, or trade bait.


Andre Johnson Randy Moss Calvin Johnson Larry Fitzgerald - Any 4 of those guys are worth a late first round early 2nd. Crap shoot.

Sleeper - Chad Ochocinco Cin - He is healthy, he is focused, he is the clear number one at the Bengels, and most important, Carson Palmer is healthy too.

Super Sleeper - Nate Washington Ten - Here is a guy you can grab at the end of most drafts that I beleive will be a solid performer this season. He comes over from Pit last season, where he was the number three WR behind Santonio Holms and Hines Ward, but he is now the best WR that Tenn has. Tenn has to play a division winning schedule this year, and if you think teams wont be keying on Chris Johnson and LenDale White, your wrong. With that said, Kerry Collins will have to pass more, leaving his best WR Washington, with the potential to have a great year. The reason this guy is falling in drafts is because he is hurt right now, and might miss a few regular season games due to his hamstring injury. While that is bad news, if you draft him late and stick on the end of your bench, you might just find a quality guy that can help you in the playoffs.


Stud Jason Witten Dal - No more TO, Roy Williams hasn't proved he's can handle the #1 WR spot, Pat Crayton has a tendency to drop balls, Miles Austin, Sam Hurd, Kevin Ogletree are all unproven, but you know who is proven? Hard Hittin' Jason Witten. 100+ catches and 10 TD isn't out of the question.

Sleeper - Dustin Keller Jets - What is the greatest security blanket for a QB? TE. Whats a rookie QB really need to start a season? A security blanket. 1 + 1 = 2. See where I'm going.

Super Sleeper - Anthony Fasano Mia - He finds the endzone. Simple and plane.

A couple of draft notes.

Wait till the last 2 rounds to take a K and a Def. In my 12 team league, I did this and ended up with Nate Keading, the K from San Deigo, and the Green Bay Packers. The best kicker last year, Gostkowski, had 9.2 pts a game, Keading 7.9. Is 1.3 pts per game worth a pick a full 6 rounds higher? Same thing with the D. Green Bay isn't the top pick, but a middle pick, and i didn't have to use an 11th round pick on them.

Limit yourself to 2 handcuff players per team. Even better if you can just use one. It may seam like a good idea to take Sprolls, McCoy, Taylor, and Norwood, due to the fact that when one of those guys goes down, you have the back up, but all of those guys are backups for a reason. Most of them arn't even really sharing duites with the incumbent. Guys like Kevin Smith, Thomas Jones, Cedric Benson, Julius Jones, and Joseph Addai may not be "sexy" picks, but they are their teams number one backs. When your starter goes down, and all you have on your bench are handcuffs, you will be in a world of hurt, so keep your handcuffs to just 1 or 2.

IF you don't get an elite WR, scatter shoot and play the match ups. After the first 5 or 6 WR's there is a significant drop off. then after the next 5, there is even a bigger one. This means taking more WR's than you normally do, and playing the match ups and "who's hot" game. A corp of WR that you can get in round 5-12 could be a group like this: T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Braylon Edwards, Anthony Gonzalez, Ted Ginn Jr., Domenik Hixon, and Michael Jenkins. Now this group is a mix of week number one's (Housh, Edwards) strong number 2's (Gonzalez, Jenkins), and a guys with potential to either suck, or be very solid (Ginn, Hixon). Now you have some room to play around.

I hope this helps, and if ya got any questions, hit us up vie email.