Friday, December 5, 2008

Now THIS should get you kicked off the team for a game or two


No lie, Title of this pick, Puck Off
giggle



Brown didn't think Sean Avery's little "sloppy seconds thing" was that bad, more just kinda funny. (i agree by the way)

Well how about this.

""....Griffith insisted to me that while she taunted Avery, she never used foul language. So what was Avery's response? According to Griffith, Avery said, "You're nothing but an old f**king c*nt, I wouldn't even c*m in your face." After which he sprayed her with his water bottle. It was after that the refs assessed Avery a second game misconduct, and Griffith is pretty much convinced Avery's reaction to the confrontation with her was the reason."

Griffith is a 60 year old woman.

Greatness.

This might be too much of a throw back, but can we call this getting "Dice Clayed"? When someone say something funny, but its crazy offensive? Ahh go fuck yourself, you fucking douchebag.


Little miss Muffet....

Why Bart Scott is the coolest dude in the NFL - A Guest Post

TB&TB openly encourages reader to spit their own hot fire when it comes to HSO's. If its decent, we post it. This is from the political correspondent and friend of the blog, Nayfa, Who has brought us such rants as Danica Patrick is a skank, and why Dubya should be the next commish of baseball.

His newest obsession? Ravens Linebacker
Bart Scott

Who, Me?

Why Bart Scott is the coolest dude in the NFL .

I really don’t know who Bart Scott is. I remember something from earlier in the season with Hines Ward, the Ravens and bounties. I don’t recall Bart Scott but apparently he was involved.

It isn’t that I don’t pay attention to football; I love it and obsess about fantasy football. I just don’t give a shit about anyone but the Cowboys. Bart Scott is now the exception because of the following remarks that I read in an article on Yahoo.

“I hate everybody on every other team than mine. I don’t give a [expletive] about anybody on any other team – period. I don’t speak to them during the game. I’m not high-fiving guys. And I’m talking about guys who have been here and left, too. It doesn’t matter. You’re trying to take something away from me that I deem important. Why should I care about you? Why should I like you? You don’t have to like me, and I don’t have to like you.

“Ask me who I’m rooting for in the Super Bowl. If I’m not in it, I hope they cancel the damn thing.”

This about says it all. Thanks for the honesty and thanks for being a real football player. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one appalled at the gay ass prayers and shit after the game. This is football Goddamn it and its high time football players hate each other like God intended.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Is Big writing for another site?

Found this via The Big Lead and laughed my ass off.

An excerpt...

“Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work–including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule–our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking.”

So, let's review:

BCS Computers? Check.

Pro-Nazi Germany? Check.

Big, did you write this up?

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.



Wheeze. Breathe. Wheeze. So you're the real Emperor? Wheeze. Breathe. Wheeze. Big fan of your work Wheeze. Breathe. Wheeze.



Picture Credit: Awful Announcing

Look at all the Free Agents!


To save money, we're going with iron-on patches!

Yes, that's right, it's free agent time for baseball.

Lots of big names still out there, lots of moves still happening.

So, what's that mean for the Rangers?

Not a god damned thing. Here's why.

The Rangers have made the statement that they want to stay in the $70 Million salary range this year because they feel that's what they can compete with.

Given salary guarantees and escalations, that means the Rangers have about, oh, 5 players that are going to command about $50-$55 Million of that salary

Kevin Millwood ($11M)
Vicente Padilla ($12M)
Michael Young ($16M)
Hank Blalock ($6M)
Frank Catalanotto ($6M)

Yes, the Rangers have the bevy of catchers they can trade (specifically Laird who's due to get, I think, like $2 or $3 Million this year). And, it's true, the Rangers have one of the best farm systems in the Majors according to Baseball America.

That being said, do we trust that JD and Nolan are going to make the right moves and bring up the right guys and not trade away the future to keep the salary where Tom Hicks wants it?

Welcome to Rangerville!

So, anyone seen what Devin Harris is doing?


This is just a funny picture of Carlisle.

So, let's get this straight. Avery didn't like Devin Harris because he wasn't the kind of point guard that Avery was. Avery liked Jason Kidd because Jason Kidd is the kind of point guard that Avery was. Avery makes a damn near franchise-ruining trade by sending Devin to New Jersey and bringing Jason Kidd back to Dallas.

Now...let's look at some numbers.


Jason Kidd
PPGAPGSPG
9.68.52.5


Devin Harris
PPGAPGSPG
24.86.11.2

Oh. No.

To be fair, Kidd does pull more rebounds, and he's kind of on his own with no solid backup (though if Barea keeps playing the way he is, I might have to write an apology post soon). However, if you've watched these guys play, and you're a Maverick fan, you've slapped yourself on the forehead several times and probably punched your groin as well.

(Hangs head in shame)

Really, what was so bad about Sean Avery's comments?


Huh?

Did they objectify women? Well, yeah, it kind of did.

Was it improper smack talk in a public forum off the ice? Well, yeah, it probably was.

Did it embarrass the Stars organization? Most probably.

Was it more WWE than it was NHL? Yup (probably why I liked it.)

My question is, what it really that bad?

Come on, in the grand scheme of things, saying a guy is enjoying your "sloppy seconds" isn't that bad.

If I were Sean Avery, I'd have looked in the camera and said, "Hey, Frenchy, how's my dick taste?"

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Where in the World Is........

Uhh, Behind You?
Just a great pic of one of our HOF'ers. And when Hivvy is involved, better believe I'm going post it. When UNT plays WKU this year in basketball, I'm going to make a request that they bring Hivvy with them.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

College Football Round Up - Championship Week

Well, maybe Brady can get my old Job Back.

Ahh the smell of controversy. The whining, and bitching and moaning. Somewhere in the distance I can hear someone say "But we beat them" and "Well we beat them worse." It must be the start of December!

So there are 10 BCS slots to fill with all the BCS bowl games, and the championship game. We know already that Penn State, USC, Utah, and Cincy are in. And we have 3 championship games this weekend that will fill at least 3 more. The winner of each of these games will play in the big money bowls.

ACC: No. 17 Boston College vs. No. 25 Virginia Tech, Noon ABC
SEC: No. 1 Alabama vs. No. 4 Florida, 3:00 CBS
B12: No. 20 Missouri vs. No. 2 Oklahoma, 7:00 ABC

So with 7 slots filled up, where do the others come from?

Boise is undefeated, but won't draw well.

They can only take one of these two: Texas, and Texas Tech, both 1 loss teams

Unless Bamma kills Florida, they will probably take the loser of that game.

I'm pretty sure Ohio State and the following that it brings will be one of the At Large bids, and after that you have 2 non BCS schools (TCU, undefeated Ball State), and some 3 loss teams, (Okla State, Georgia Tech, Georgia, Oregon). So this weekend will be fun fun fun to watch.

A brief look at my rankings then on to the bowl predictions.

Main Eventers:

No. 1 Alabama (win 36-0 Auburn) - The only true, Win and your in school, that nobody has a problem with, except for the fact they are 10 point dogs to Florida

Mid Card Guys

No. 2 Texas (win 49-9, Texas A&M) - Question for Texas fans, if its such a big deal that you beat Oklahoma head to head (and don't get me wrong, it is), then when it comes to which Big 12 team gets to go to a BCS game outside of the conference winner(remember due to BCS Bylaws, there can only be at most 2 teams from one conference unless 2 teams play in the BCS Champ Game), between you and Texas Tech, shouldn't it be head to head wins as well? That would mean Texas Tech goes and Texas would get the Cotton. Just something to think about.

No. 3 Oklahoma (win 61-41, No. 12 Oklahoma State) - The thing i really don't get about this whole bit, is how everybody i read/watch/talk to/listen to/jerk off, says that Texas should get the nod over Oklahoma due to the shootout win, yet in the human polls, Oklahoma is head of Texas. Somebody is lying. And lying makes baby Jesus cry.

No. 4 Florida (win 45-15, No. 20 Florida State) - What happens if Alabama just barley loses, in a game that had 170 total yards of offence, 7 turnovers, 100 pen, and such bad sportsmanship that made the Orange Bowl brawl look tame. Is it a grantee that Florida jumps Texas in the BCS Rankings? Note how bad the rest of the SEC was this year, and how Texas would have a win over the number one rated team in the country, with the only loss being to a top 10 team on the road, all it would take is some brave people to vote Texas ahead of Florida in the human polls, and the BCS computer rankings might just keep Florida below Texas. How crazy would that be?

No. 5 USC (win 38-3, Notre Dame) - Been preaching it for awhile, but forget Texas, forget Tech, the biggest ass rapeing was on USC, who because of one loss to a decent team who we though would be shitty, has NO CHANCE to play for the strap, and now they get to go beat up on Penn State, they won't even get a shot to play one of big boys in the show.

Lets get to the bowl predictions already

BCS Champ
Oklahoma
vs.
Florida

Sugar
Alabama
vs.
Texas

Rose
USC
vs.
Penn State

Orange
BC
vs.
Cincy

Fiesta
Ohio State
vs
Utah

I would watch all those game, except for the Orange. I really don't care about Cincy or BC, despite my Catholic guilt.

I'm really, really praying for a Bamma vs Texas bowl match up somehow, The mustache bet between brown and dorsey would just fantastic. I'm thinking 1 week for every 2 points the team looses by. Lord that would be fantastic.

Monday, December 1, 2008

My new target of irrational hatred


Fantastic tackling, kid.

Bill Buckner and Steve Bartman can welcome to their club a new member.

Blake Gideon.

That's right, we're going to add one more person to the "People who are irrationally and unfairly blamed by a fan base for the loss of a shot at the title."

An easy interception.

That's all you had to make.

The ball fell into your hands and you dropped it.

Make the pick, and Texas is still the number one team it the land.

But no, you shit the bed.

Why is he playing safety at all? Are we saying he is John Lynch? NO! This guy has the making of the next Reed Doughty or Brian Russell.

Welcome to Chris Simms-ville, Blake Gideon. For no rational reason, you are now at fault and hated by the Texas fan base.

I hope you step on a rake and suffer the most outlandish of Sideshow Bob situations.


I don't have to take this, I'm leaving you.



Okay, I know you're expecting to come to the site today and see two things. A terribly misspelled and oddly calculated ranking system by one guy, and a profanity laden, head shaking, confusing diatribe from the other.

Well, here's the ladder.

I could sit here and argue until my face went blue (yes, still possible with Brown skin) about how fucked up the system is for picking winners and losers in college football. I could argue about how Texas and Texas Tech are both getting a huge shaft here (probably Tech more than Texas in the big picture). I could argue that a playoff system among the big conferences, properly put together, would put to rest a majority of the issues and the lower conferences could still do bowls so they can not whine about missing a payday (because if you don't think it's about money, you ate rubber cement as a child).

No, I'm not going to do that for a simple reason. No matter how right or wrong I am, my portly blogging pal and you sexy readers want to argue with me. Quite simply, I don't have the energy to have this same argument again and again and again.

Everyone is convinced they have the solution, including me, and no one wants to hear the other person. It's the politick of sports. There isn't a middle ground in the argument, and there is no gray area. Whatever system put in place benefits one team is going to screw that same team in the future. Period.

Quite honestly, I think I'm done with this shit. I don't want to hear about college football anymore until it gets it act together. And I don't mean "until Texas goes to the championship game", I mean until a system is put in place where things are decided on the field and not by Johnny-5, Simon, Steve Spurrier, and whatever keypad mashing Mangino's hands manage to do.




Who am I kidding? I'm going to keep coming back like a battered spouse. Only this time, I'm so going to carry pepper spray and a rape whistle.