Thursday, February 5, 2009

GMV - Funny Friday

In the spirit of Oldie but Goody's, I was talking with a friend of mine this week, and we were remembering the greatness that is Dave Chappelle. So here is some good old Dave.

Chickens


Seaseme Street


Hey Baby?


And Who can do a Dave bit without "Piss on you"

Nude Music Friday - Slobberbone

Still no Internet at work, but have no fear, I'm working from the house tonight just for you sweet sexy readers. What better way to rock a Friday than with a little nude music? So lets kick off those crusty panties and go streakin!



Today's band is an oldie but a goody. Allow me to introduce to you all the greatness that is Slobberbone.

If your a fan of singer songwriter country/rock infusion like I am (i really think i just made up that genre), than you already know about Brent Best and the boys of Slobberbone. Some of you may know Best from his more recent band, the Drams, but his best stuff was with the bone.

"There are no extraneous bells and whistles here, just dead-on observations from the dark side of the human condition sung with the conviction of someone who’s lived it; guitars that push, pull, snarl and wail with desperate and joyful abandon, and underneath it all, the warmth and soul of a natural born rock band living and dying for every note. "

This band has the best of many worlds. They can rock out, yet the music is very catchy, and best of all the words that Best writes are the opposite of bubblegum. It seams almost as if every word and every note fell into place perfectly, unlike the overly produced, auto corrected, pro tools loving bands that we see all too often.

In the song Lumberlung, Brent describes a scene where a woman loves a man who is a drunk, and he knows she wants to leave him, but wont because of her love. He peppers in lines like "Breath of Whiskey on my cotton shirt, turn on a fan, take off your skirt, lay here beside me on these sheets so stained, for a little, but it aint the same," and "She stays her in this house with me, when i know she would rather leave, she stays here constantly."

The band behind the lyrics are equally fitting. They complement each other as well as any band could.

I bring you this older band because they are playing some "reunion" shows this weekend. One in Denton on Friday night at Dans Silver Leaf, which I will be going to, and on Saturday night at the Barley house in Dallas.

If you like rock and or roll, great lyrics, and drinking Beer with some of the coolest guys you could ever meet, go check em out this weekend.

Ohh, and to prove that they aren't all soppy and heavy, here is one of their more fun songs. Its called Gimme Back my Dog.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

File this in "stuff I couldn't make up"


Big, posing with his Batleth

Here I am, perusing CNN.com and I see the headline, Klingon Sword Used During Crime.

Needless to say, you have my attention.
Colorado Springs police are looking for a man who hit two 7-Eleven convenience stores early Wednesday, armed with a Klingon sword.The first robbery was reported at 1:50 a.m., at 145 N Spruce St. The clerk told police a white man in his 20s, wearing a black jacket, blue jeans and wearing a black mask, entered the store with a weapon the clerk recognized from the Star Trek TV series.

The robber demanded money and left with an undisclosed amount.
A half hour later, police received a call from a 7-Eleven at 2407 N. Union Blvd., where a man matching the previous description entered the store with a similar weapon.

He also demanded money from the store clerk. The clerk refused and the robber ran off.

Both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon type sword, called a "Batleth."

Neither clerk was injured in the robberies.
Oh my goodness. That story is awesome in so many ways.

-A man owns a Klingon sword.
-A man chooses to rob store with said store. (I imagine a scene similar to "Pulp Fiction" when Bruce Willis is deciding among weapons)
-He demands money, the clerk says "no", so the guy just runs away.
-The clerks are able to recognize and identify not only the fact that the sword if from Star Trek, but the name of the sword type.

GMV - SNL

Still no Internet at work. Kicking me squarely in the testies.

Your GMV this fine hump day, is the best sketch of last Saturday's SNL.

Billy "The Gun" Van Goff. One hell of a QB.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

It's a sign from God...no one likes Oklahoma City

I've been against Oklahoma from day one. I was horrified regarding the absolute robbery of the Sonics from Seattle and the move to Oklahoma City. I was tickled pink to see a man at the DFW Airport wearing a Thunder jersey. I feel bad that Kevin Durant is stuck in the ass hole of America.

God agrees with me because he has decided to try and kill anyone who dares perform at halftime.
Kristen Johnson is a professional escape artist whose specialty is getting out of handcuffs and leg irons while being fully submerged in a tube of water. Since that one trick is more thrilling than anything the Thunder have done on a basketball court this season, they booked her for the January 16th game against Detroit.

It was a great idea ... right up until the point where Kristen went into hypoxic seizure—that what's happens when your brain runs out of oxygen—in front of 17,000 NBA fans. It look her a bit longer than usual to get out of the chains, so her temporarily lifeless body had to be pulled from the tank before she drowned in front horrified onlookers.
Take heed, Oklahoma. God does not approve of your state, Clay Bennett, or magicians.



Side note: Football is done, and now you're wanting to focus on basketball. Fear not, sexy reader, I am putting together a long post to bring you up to speed on the season and your Dallas Mavericks.

Monday, February 2, 2009

TB&TB Movie Review, Paul Blart.

So as we all know, Movie watching is a sport. Brown has done his bit on the Wrestler, Gran Tarino, and Slum dog, and then Uni challenged my man hood in movie reviews, so its my turn. The last movie I saw in theatre was this last week, when during the ICE blast of 09, Brown, Bear, Badlander and me went to go check out Paul Blart: Mall Cop.



It was funny.








What, its about a Fat wanna be cop, who is a security guard at a mall taken over by extreme (and by extreme i mean skateboards, BMX bikes, and Extreme walking) robbers. Not much to break down. It was funny, not the best, but funny.


Go fuck yourself Uni, i don't have to prove myself.

A sad day,

So i found out the other day that one of my favorite sites is closing its doors. (Its becoming a trend isn't it Gerry?). It truly is a sad day that soon, T-Shirt Hell is going under.

Sarcastic mother fuckers everywhere, especially brown and I, are sad to see you go sir.

I mean they had shirts for everybody.

Me

Brown

Chicks

Jews

Cathloics

The Troops

Friends of Carl Badlander

And everybody else.

GMV: Brown's Mickey's fueled nightmare

My Mickey's Malt Liquor fueled nightmare: Dance Floor Dale

I wouldn't watch this at work if I were you. There's no explicit nudity, but good god almighty it's hardcore and terrible.

Seriously, don't watch this at work. You'll get fired.



H/T: FilmDrunk

The Quickest Super Bowl Post Evahr


The new breakfast of champions!

There's more than enough Super Bowl recaps that you can read today. So, I'm going to just quick hit some highlights from the game and the watching fiesta that I was at.

-The Brown vs. a six pack of Mickey's Malt Liquor challenge was won by yours truly. I had a drunk I've never had before, and I feel just capital this morning.

-One of our favorite commenters, J-Bizzle, must have caught and slaughtered a feral pig because the ribs that were made were gigantic and awesome. Fantastic job with the party, Bizzle. Fantastico.

-My favorite commercial was probably the Doritos crystal ball.

-I'm really not a fan of "bit" commercials that are trying really really hard to become viral. GoDaddy.com, Jack-in-the-Box...you're on notice. Side note: is it time to re-visit the "Is Danica Patrick hot or not debate?

-I called the "G.I. Joe" trailer in 2 seconds flat. Mickey's Malt Liquor, making your senses more attuned in 1975.

-Springsteen was great, to no one's surprise. The crotch slide into the camera? Eh, not so much.

-Ben Roethlisberger has 2 Super Bowls. Eli Manning has 1 Super Bowl. Larry Fitzgerald elevated himself to best receiver in the game status. Philip Rivers has established himself as a legitimate franchise quarterback. Sean Taylor is dead. That's just a few. The 2005 first round draft picks are pretty impressive. As for the Cowboys, that was the year they bypassed Steven Jackson and traded down for Julius Jones. Also picked by Dallas: Jacob Rogers, Steven Peterman, Bruce Thornton, Sean Ryan, Nathan Jones, Patrick Crayton, and Jaqcues Reeves.

-I did not think Arizona was going to win that game. Somehow leaving Large Benjamin 3 minutes and 2 timeouts was going to be enough for the winning drive. Turns out, I was right. Mickey's Malt Liquor, improving your prediction abilities since 1975.