Friday, November 7, 2008

This makes sense to everyone, so of course the MLB said no


Marky Mark and the Cuban Bunch

Granted, this comes from the rumors section of SI.com, but Bud Selig and the baseball owners association is going to do everything it possibly can to make sure that Mark Cuban will never own the Chicago Cubs.

If you haven't followed the story, Sam Zell of the Tribune company wants to sell the Cubs, and he's got a list of bidders. One of those bidders was our own shark toothed wunderkind, Mark Cuban. His bid? $1.2 billion, yes with a "b". However, things keep stalling out because Zell has to get full approval from the baseball owners association and, utlimately, Bud Selig.

The baseball owners association needs a Mark Cuban to shake things up. Forgive me if Steinbrenner, Hicks, Angelos, Reinsdorf, and Loria don't really do much to fire up a fan base. I don't see those guys having a beer with fans and sitting behind (or in) the dug out to yell and rant and rave with fans.

I know I've said before that Cuban buying the Cubs will take his focus away from the Mavericks, but at this point, I think Cuban buying the Cubs could save baseball. Re-invigorate a major fan base. Be in the news on a daily basis. Openly chastise the owners and Bud Selig for the same shit that fans have been doing for years now. Ultimately, by having a guy like Cuban bust up the cronyism and old boys network of the owners association would be just the spark baseball needs to re-establish itself as a top sport.

I'd really just like to see Mark Cuban and Tom Hicks sitting together at the AA Center and Cuban taking Hicks to task about something baseball related. And then they'd get in a money fight and throw bricks of $100 bills at each other. And the Mavs dancers would be naked. That'd be awesome.

In apology...


Me too, sweety. Me too.

So, sorry for my little rant yesterday. Apparently me going serious shouldn't be happening, and I agree 100%.

As an apology, I'd like to offer a story for you, and hope you learn a little something from it.

I've been on a "kind of" diet recently to make sure that I don't steal the moniker from my portly blogger pal. I say "kind of" because I manage to find myself in a situation every weekend where I'm surrounded my people who just want to party with me. (You can read that as I found a new bottle of Knob Creek in the pantry and decided to order the 6 hour block of porn channels on DirecTV.)

Anyway, one of the dietary substitutions I made was, instead of rocking chips and salsa, one of the building blocks of the food pyramid, I switched to pita chips and hummus. I wish I could explain my reasoning here, but I can't. So, without really paying attention one night, I managed to eat an entire container of roasted red pepper hummus.


Seems appetizing, no?

I know, you think you know where this is going. You're close.

The gaseous emissions that result from your stomach digesting an entire container of that stuff might be qualified as "holocaust level gasses". I share an office with two other people, and they had to leave for the rest of the day. They're guys so they found it hilarious, as did I.

The problem was, this never went away. A full 12 hours later I had to pick up the folks from the airport, and my mother had to roll down the window and yelled at me while my father laughed.

I know what you're thinking, "why didn't you just go to the restroom and release?"

Well, first of all, what a gay way to ask me to take a shit. Second, I did, and that's the lesson for you. Don't eat an entire container of hummus unless you want to reek vengeance upon everyone in a 10 foot radius.

Oh, and to make this sportsy?


"John Williams is the man"

Because we are dorks here at the big and the brown. Funny stuff.



Big ups to uni, he found this peice of gold

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Terrible Correlations and Restricted Satire


The Big and The Brown: Old West Style


Great, at least 4 more years of this

Personally, regardless of political leanings, the fact that African American has been voted the President of the USA truly is an historical and amazing event. I think it speaks volumes towards the direction that this country is headed. I'll put aside some of the most racist shit I heard or read via text message on Tuesday night because the majority spoke and that's the case.

In my only political statement I'll make in my life, let me say this. Regardless of your political leanings or beliefs, this guy is our President. For those who supported him, you got what you wanted, now let's see the man follow up on those promises. For those who were against him, you spent your entire time trumpeting your love for this country. Now that country has a leader and if you love it, you'll support him and follow him as he leads. People don't have to live in extremes, less we end up in an awesome South Park parody.

However, there are two things that are going to happen now that are going to drive me crazier than Lawrence Taylor.

1) Leap of Faith Correlations

I'm looking in your direction, ESPN. Exactly how are you going to draw the conclusion and reference point that because America voted in a black president, more colleges need to hire black head coaches? I must have missed something. I understand putting rules in place like the Rooney Rule and the Eddie Robinson rule. That makes perfect sense to me. But, come on, let's not be so stupid as to say that because the election of Barack Obama, Oklahoma is going to fire Bob Stoops and hire Tyone Willingham. Wait...that should actually happen, but I digress.

By the way, my favorite line in that whole piece was this, "Staffers for Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez told surveyors he is not Hispanic." I doubt Hispanics would like to claim him as their own.

2) Jesse and Al teaming up like Ace and Gary

Politics is followed by satire like peanut butter and jelly. Period. It doesn't have to be hate filled like Democrats have been the past 8 years, and it doesn't have to be extremist and confusing like Republicans the 8 years before that. Comedy and satire are natural lenses that we can few society and leaders of society. As the soon to be most powerful person in the country not blogging under the pseudonym, Brown, Obama is going to be satirized and made fun of. Unless you're some of the readers and commenters on this blog who tend to say some pretty questionable shit sometimes, THE HUMOR IS NOT RACIST. Got it Jesse? Got it Al? Just because someone makes fun of or mocks Barack Obama, it's not a slight on the black man.

What's the over/under before Jesse, Al, Whitlock or Ricky Smiley scream "racism" after the first set of jokes are made at Obama's expense? I'll set the line at 5 minutes.

Anyways, to think that the election of a black man as President is going to change the sports landscape is a pretty stupid thought to have. He's not the commissioner of any of the leagues, and, trust me, there's a shit ton of other things him and his staff need to worry about first. If he's mocked or scrutinized because he's more worried about throwing the first pitch out at the White Sox opener or because he put a basketball court in the White House in lieu of a bowling alley, it's not being racist (hopefully), it's being funny (also, hopefully).

Now, because this was a semi-serious post, I'd like to close with the following....


Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Sure, we've got a new president, but what about my teams!



I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing or saying right now. I've been in a haze since Saturday night when Michael Crabtree went Tyrone Prothro before he mangled his leg, Larry Fitzgerald and Calvin Johnson all wrapped into one college receiver.

The Mavericks have started the season with a full blown "meh" feeling.

The Cowboys...well, this sums it up



The Stars, well, at a distance I think they've also got this "meh" thing going but I think I remember hearing something to the effect of them having the highest goals against average in the league.

The Rangers just signed Mike Maddux, brother of Greg, to be the new pitching coach. Maddux is, for all intents and purposes, "the best pitching coach in the league", so the Rangers wallet whipped him to come here. Welcome to hell, Mike. Maybe you and Orel will be doing some broadcast work together when you inveitable lose faith in baseball and quit for good.

I'm not trying to be bleak here, but I'm starting to worry about the overall health of my fandom.

I need something, anything to bring me out of my sports lurch...

Monday, November 3, 2008

College Football Roundup - Week 10 - Welcome to November

This could get interesting.......


Welcome to November.


Last year we saw a slew of team grab the number one spot for a week or so till they were upset by someone, opening the door to a new number one. This year may not be that much different. Is it a good thing? That depends on who you are.

With the emergence of the spread offense, easier recruiting, and cutting down of roster size, the college football landscape has become more wide open, and harder for the great teams to dominate and sustain a full season of bad assness. I'm not going to use the parody word, but the idea that a recruit can go to a school like Texas Tech, start from day one, be in a high powered offense, and still have TV exposer have made the have not, into kinda haves.


Teams that are Bowl Elliglble: Maryland Georgia Tech Miami (FL) North Carolina Missouri Kansas Texas Tech Oklahoma State Oklahoma Texas West Virginia Pittsburgh Cincinnati Connecticut Penn State Michigan State Ohio State Northwestern Minnesota Navy Tulsa Rice TCU Utah Brigham Young Air Force Central Michigan Ball State Western Michigan USC California Oregon Florida Georgia South Carolina Kentucky Alabama LSU Boise State San Jose State

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Bowl Eligible Break Downs:


SEC - 6

B12 - 6

Big East -5

Big 10 - 5
ACC - 4
Mountain West - 4
Mid American - 3

Pac 10 - 3
CUSA - 2
WAC - 2

Sun Belt - 0


Let's get to the top ten.


Main Eventers.


No. 2 Alabama
(win 35-0, Arkansas State) - Took care of business. Held the red wolves to 158 total yards. Because of Tech's looming slate of games, and Penn State's bye week, they are the default number one right now. Two things of note for Bama, if they make it, they will more than likely play Florida in the SEC champ game now, that should scare Bama peeps, but before they can get there, they have to go to Baton Rouge this weekend and play a good, but not great LSU team. God I love November football!

No. 7 Texas Tech (win 39-33, No. 1 Texas) - What can be said about this game that hasn't been talked about already? Tech scored an early safety, which set the tone that the Red Raiders were here to play on both sides of the ball. If Crabtree's 10 rec for 127 and that last second touch doesn't have him at the top of Heisman lists at least this week, then the people who make the lists are slighting him because he plays for Tech. If he was a Sooner, Volunteer, or even Nitney Lion, everyone would be down on their knees right now.

No. 3 Penn State (idle) - How nervous are you if you are a State fan? You have only three games left, you will be favored in all of them, only one on the road, and for several reason's, people are going to try and say you don't belong in the BCS champ game? I'm not rooting for Penn State to run the table, if for nothing else we can hear JoPa talk about getting screwed out a chance to play for a national title. "I'm never leaving" Good times. They travel to Iowa this weekend.


No. 8 Florida (win 49-10, No. 6 Georgia) - Say goodbye to the Dawgs, and hello to the "lets all hope and pray Florida and Bama don't get upset over the next month so we can see one hell of an SEC Championship game" thought. Only 14-3 at half, and I thought the Dawgs were going to make a game out of this. Boy was I wrong


You won't beat Florida, or just about any team, when you turn the ball over 4 times. 3 picks from Dallas' own Matt Staford, who has done very little to empress me as a first round QB talent. You couple that with Timmy Tebow being responsible for 5 TD's and its church. Florida travels to Vandy this weekend, not an easy game this year, and Florida State at the end of the season.


No. 4 Oklahoma (win 62-28, Nebraska) - Umm, 35 points in the first quarter? From just one team? Wow, i guess Stoops was right when he said "Our defense isn't bad, its just that our offense is so good we put them on the Field alot." They Caused 4 turnovers and had over 500 total yards offense. Boomer Sooner indeed.




Mid Card Guys

No. 5 USC (win 56-0, Washington) - Holy crap what a beat down. We all know the Media loves them some USC, and has been force feeding us them for the past 5 or 6 years, but in all honesty, I don't think there is a better defense in all of college football then the Men of Troy. Albeit Washington is terrible, but when you hold a BCS conference team to 184 total, 113 passing, 71 rushing, and force 4 turnovers, your pretty damn good.


Here's an idea that nobody has ever had, ever, Lets let the Pac-10 Champ and Big 10- Champ play each other for the right to play the Big-12 vs. SEC Champ games! I'm kidding, that's way to much like a playoff system, and I'm against that. But it would be fun to see USC and Penn State play each other for the right to play for a national championship.


No. 1 Texas (loss 33-39 No. 7 Texas Tech) - Is the season over for Texas? Not in the least. They only have one conference loss and own the tie breaker to both Oklahoma and Oklahoma State. If they can go undefeated, and Tech drops to one of those teams, they are right back in the Big 12 title hunt. The big concern coming into the season for the Horns was their young, inexperienced secondary. And it finally showed. They let 474 yards passing on Saturday night, and showed their inexperience by dropping 2 picks that could have been game changing.


All that said, Colt McCoy still proved he is among the best QB's in the nation with that ballsy4th Quarter performance driving them down to score with 1:29 left.


No. 9 Oklahoma State (win 59-17, Iowa State) - Oky Light is back in the title hunt after the upset of Tech. They took care of business over the worst team in the Big 12, Iowa state to the tune of 682 total yards. Zach Robinson, the oft forgotten Okla St QB, had 395 yards and 5 TD's with 66 yards rushing in this rout. Now they travel to Lubbock, with a chance to play themselves back into the title hunt.


No. 11 Boise State (win 49-0, New Mexico State) - Despite going 1-6 on third downs, the Smurfs rocked poor New Mexico State to the tune of 495 total yards, 216 of which came on the ground. They get the nod over fellow BCS buster Utah due to how bad they put it on NMSU.


No. 13 TCU (win 44-14, UNLV) - If ever they was a case that a one loss non BCS school should get some love from the BCS, its this years TCU. They racked up 410 total yards while holding the Rebels to 175. Time for another showdown this Thursday as they travel to Utah, with the winner more than likely getting a bid to play the ACC or Big East in the BCS.


BCS Busters

No. 11 Boise State (win 49-0, New Mexico State) - see above

No. 13 TCU (win 44-14, UNLV) - dido


No. 10 Utah (win 13-10, New Mexico) - Turnovers kept New Mexico in this game, but the Utes still won handily, as the Lobo's sored a TD with no time left to make this one seem closer than it was. Thursday night, be there.

No. 18 Tulsa (loss 23 - 30 Arkansas) - Goodbye to the Golden Landlocked Hurricanes, proving even a shitty BCS school is better than most non BCS ones. It was close, but a 96 yard return for a TD with 20 seconds left was the difference.


No. 16. Ball State (idle) - 4 games left, 3 on ESPN 2, can they handle the pressure?


Big Ups to all my haters upset of the week

Purdue (win 48-42, Michigan) - For the first time in like 150 years Michigan will not be in a bowl, and they will have a losing record. We knew they weren't going to be very good this year, but it still hurts a bit. Ball State will be in a bowl (probably), and Michigan won't. Cats and Dogs, living together, mass hysteria!


Local Love.


No. 13 TCU (win 44-14, UNLV) - Third time this game is one here.


North Texas (win 51-40, Western Kentucky) - We're not last! We're not last! This fantastic win over a team that wasn't even division one until this year, coupled with Washington losing again, means we have a better record than somebody! NT scored the last 14 points to bring home the win. Letting WKU and hivvy the Blood drop score 40 is a little unsettling.


No game for SMU this week, so they didn't lose!