Thursday, March 5, 2009

Did the Cowboys cure cancer?


TO doing his best Kanye...

The text came through from Big last night, "Good bye TO". My first thought was, "holy crap, Big is alive!" then I remembered that he gave up the internet for lent (you thought I was kidding, didn't you?). Anyway, I checked the interwebs, and lo and behold, Terrell Eldorado Owens was released by your Dallas Cowboys.

Does this cure the cancer between him and Pacman?

Is the real Roy Williams ready to step up?

What excuse does our Hollywood loving, chubby chasing quarterback have left?

Use the comments to share your thoughts on the release of Owens...

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

How to make baseball more exciting...



I'm a big baseball fan, but I don't consider myself a baseball purist. I like the DH and interleague play, and I'm so tired of the steroid issue, that I'd say just open the gates and let players do whatever they want to really level the playing field.

That's why I don't feel bad opening the debate to a new concept that might make baseball more appealing in the late summer and early fall.

Open up the wild card spots to 5 PER LEAGUE instead of 1.

What???

Exactly. Right now, Major League Baseball is comprised of 30 teams and only 8 of those teams get to play in the playoffs, the 6 division winners and 2 wild cards. That's 4 AL teams and 4 NL teams. Pretty exclusive.

You can point to the NFL and say they only allow 12 teams, but remember, that's 4 division winners and 2 wild cards. So, the opportunity is pretty open. Plus, the NFL is different from the other sports in how the season runs its course, so I would look at that as the anomaly. However, look at basketball and hockey. 30 teams in each league. 16 teams make the playoffs. Top 8 in each conference (3 division winners, next 4 in rankings). Do you know what this breeds? Excitement in the final stretch of a season.

Take it from a Rangers fan who never sniffs the postseason. How much more exciting would it be in August if you knew that the Rangers were, rather than being 6 games out of the Wild Card, only 1 game out of the 8th final playoff spot? Wouldn't that make the games that much more exciting? Wouldn't the players feel like they were playing for something more than peanuts? Wouldn't that make fans want to go to the night games at the ball park to cheer their team into the postseason?

I look to basketball and hockey to see that the teams that are "right there" always put together these magical, Cinderella runs at the end of a season to push through to the playoffs and ride that wave because all it takes is to "get in" and then everyone comes back to 0-0 records. You're telling me that wouldn't work in baseball?

You can make the argument that they play twice the amount of games in the regular season, and each series is 7 games, it'd be too much. Okay, then don't make all the series 7 game series. Make the first two rounds 5 game series and the last two 7 game series.

Baseball is in trouble and is losing fans with all the scandals that are in place. Selig (who should be fired and crucified) needs to do something to a) reinvent baseball and b) reinvent his image. This could be the thing that can repackage the game into something that people get excited about beyond spring training and outside of the east coast.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

A note about the urinal


Why so close?

Simple invention, usually made of porcelain that adorns the public restrooms for men across the nation.

Sometimes it's a short object placed at waist height. Sometimes it runs from floor to chest. Sometimes its just a giant trough.

Sometimes there's ice on the bottom, sometimes there's the "urinal cake" on the bottom, sometimes there's a filter sheet for, well, I'm not sure what they want to filter.

Sometimes there are dividers between urinals, other times you're forced to stand shoulder to shoulder with dudes you don't know.

The urinal.

Let me tell you something, I hate these fucking things.

Check that, I have no problem with the urinal per se, I just have a problem with the setup of most bathrooms. Dividers or not, I still have to stand uncomfortable close to dudes. I hate pissing amongst a group of people. It's not stage fright, because I really doubt (and hope) that no one is really paying any attention to me, but I just don't enjoy relieving myself amongst a group of people.

Since I know 90% of you that read this thing, think of the bathroom at The Tavern in Denton. Stupidest fucking setup I've ever seen.

Before you say it, no, I don't sit down to pee. I just prefer a stall given the fact that I can shut a door. I highly doubt I'm the only person in the world who isn't a fan of the public nature of the men's restroom. Am I?

Chalk it up to one of my many irrational pet peeves.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Tracy McGrady, I thought you were better than that



I've never really felt one way or another about Tracy McGrady. He came into the league out of high school and was a star in Toronto, Orlando, and now Houston, and at one point was thought of as one of the top 100 players in NBA history. For all intents and purposes, McGrady has been a nice guy and a team player his whole career.

You might remember when his cousin, Vince Carter, came to Toronto and the tandem lead the team to their first playoffs ever. That's also when T-Mac's streak of never winning a playoff series began.

In Orlando, T-Mac was, essentially, a one-man show because of the inevitable injuries of Grant Hill. He even manage to capture a scoring title in 2004.

Then, he was traded to Houston and signed to a $44 Million contract. Houston thought they had their new tandem since Hakeem's years with McGrady and Yao. Then, somehow, Tracy McGrady became a real asshole.

I was reading Simmons's column from last week, and came across this snippet.

...when an NBA player with two years remaining on his contract for a total of $44 million shows up for the season out of shape, complains most of the year, lets down his teammates and fans again and again, lands in some trade rumors and decides, "Instead of getting traded to a team I don't like, I'm going to announce that I'm getting microfracture surgery four days before the trade deadline and kill any potential trade, and even better, I'll be healed by next spring, just in time to showcase myself for another contract," and successfully pulls this off -- with no repercussions from anybody -- then yes, the system is broken and needs to be fixed. Because that was disgusting. Tracy McGrady, you are officially indefensible for the rest of eternity. Even your cousin Vince wouldn't have done that. And that's saying something.)

I never realized it, but Simmons really hit the nail on the head. T-Mac had bought enough credit in the league for being a "good guy" that he pulled one of the most douche-baggiest moves I've ever seen...and I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE HE DID IT!

Wow, just wow.

Anyone at NFL headquarters paying attention?


I imagine Belichik rubs out to this image....

So, I know I'm not the only one to raise his eyebrows at this because it's all over the interwebs today...

What amount of collusion and tampering existed between the Kansas City Chiefs and the New England Patriot?

If you missed the news, the Chiefs sent a 2nd round pick to New England and received both Matt Cassell and Mike Vrabel.

You read that right, a starting quarterback and starting/veteran linebacker for a second round pick. Oh, let me also throw in that Denver offered New England the number 12 first round pick in a three way deal with Tampa Bay involving the trade of Jay Cutler.

Scott Pioli is the new GM in KC. He was the former head man in New England.

Josh McDaniel is the head coach in Denver. He was the former OC in New England.

So, it brings up a few questions...

1) If Belichick wants his coaching tree to be successful, why send the bounty to KC instead of Denver?

2) Is New England that confident in Brady's knee getting healthy? Remember, he had a setback in rehab, and he's spent his time getting married to Gisele. Brazilian chicks love crazy sex positions, how do we know Tom's not hurting his knee more?

3) why does Denver want to move Cutler so badly? Do they know something we don't? Carl Badlander, do you know something about this?

4) What's going to happen to future hall of fame quarterback, Tyler Thigpen?

5) How does Der Kommisar Goodell not do anything about obvious collusion?

If nothing else, now the Pats have a first rounder and 3 second rounders next year, all in the middle-to-top of the rounds. Let's see if the decade of genius has been Belichik or Pioli's doing.