Just because I wanted 25 posts this week

I present you with what might be the funniest link on the internet:

Why the F Do You Have a Kid.com

Courtesy of Gordon Keith

Carl Badlander, now on suicide watch

It’s on NFL.com in a huge banner.

Bears give up Orton, 2009 first and third rounder and a 2010 first rounder for Jay Cutler.

Wow.

One of those great bar debates

Right or Wrong, I'm getting PAID BIAOCH!

Debaters, giggle.

If your anything like me, and seeing as how there is like 4 guys who read this thing, when your out at a bar with some buddys, the conversation hits a lull as your watching some sport on TV, and then somebody throws out a crazy statement like "I think the Duncan, Manu, Parker Spurs could beat the Jordan Bulls in a 7 game series.

Its a simple trick to get talk started and debates flowing.

We had a similar type of talk when Memphis got bounced from the NCAA tourney the other day, as to whether or not their coach, John Calipari, would stay at Memphis, or jump to a "bigger" school in the college basketball landscape.

The augments were simple and pretty much down the middle 50/50. He would stay and continue to build Memphis into an elite program, or he would leave to coach one of already established big boys.

There are pros and cons for both augments.

Pros for staying:

Security: I'm pretty sure once you get Memphis to a final four like he did last year, you have bought yourself at least 5 years, 10 if you continue to make the tourney.

Branding: Duke wasn't a national power till coach K got them going, neither was Florida State, Penn State, or Va Tech in football till Bowden, JoePa, and Beemer got there. How different would we look at Memphis as a basketball power in 10 years if he stayed and won 2 or 3 titles?

Less Pressure: Until you start winning titles, and a bunch of them, in a town like Memphis, your not expected to win ever year, places like UCLA and Kentucky you are.

Pro's for Jumping:

Resume/Ego: Don't let it fool you, 90% of people love their ego stroked. And if you can be "The Guy" who got a traditional powerhouse back to the top, you would be the fucking man there. Think Bob Stoops, Pete Carrol, Jimmy Johnson, Mack Brown.

Recruiting: I had this debate with fellow college football die hard, He said that because of the downfall of Norte Dame football, smaller schools like TCU and UNT could out recruit ND. My only argument was if I walked up to a player and said "we want you to play for ND, and be a part of history," smalls schools don't have a chance.

With that in mind it is almost always easier to recruit to a big power school than a small one. Think of it like this, if Kentucky and Memphis were going after the same player, with all things equal, Kentucky will win 9 out of 10 times.

Money: And the last pro might be the biggest. Because of booster support and fan loyalty, the traditional programs can afford to pay more, and like the Million Dollar man says, Everybody has got a price! (didn't think I would do a long post with out a wrestling tie in, did ya?!)

So there is the pros, there are conns to both as well, such as pressure to preform at the big school, but as we see more and more Rutgers football coach, is the pendulum finally swinging toward staying at your small schools? I don't know, but its a fun bar debate.

Big, how much will this cost?

H/T: Sports By Brooks

How much to get Big to do this at a Mavs game?

Quick Note

That’s 20 posts this week, and it’s not even Thursday afternoon.

Quit complaining we don’t post anymore, and start commenting/emailing to help us think of more stuff to post.

Best of the Best

Yes, I’m talking about the movie, not a ranking of anything in particular.   I loved this movie growing up (still do).   In fact, sometimes, I’ll throw out a “TOMMY NO!” or "POP IT, TOMMY! POP IT!” and see if anyone picks up on it.  For the record, only El Blogador has ever picked up on a “Best of the Best” movie reference.

Anyway, I’m flipping through the on demand listings yesterday, and lo and behold, I see the movie, so I immediately download it to the DVR.  I started watching it yesterday, and the things I never gave a damn about when I was 10 really bothered me now.

First off, how am I supposed to believe that James Earl Jones is a bad ass karate coach?  James Earl Jones.  Granted, I would probably listen to the man if he ever yelled at me, but come on, nothing about James Earl Jones says karate.

Second, Eric Roberts.  I understand that Eric Roberts has his place in Hollywood.  Some might say it’s because he’s Julia’s brother, others would point to his acting.  Personally, this movie was my real first exposure to him, so I’ve always seen Eric Roberts as Alex.  However, he’s so over the top in this movie it was unintentional comedy at its finest

Third, Chris Penn.  Why the hell was Chris Penn even cast in this movie?   The cowboy character was odd in its own right because he’s billed from being from Miami, FL.  Ahh yes, lots of cowboys in Miami.  Also, why the hell was the greasy Italian guy from Detroit?  Anyway, I digress.  How the hell am I supposed to believe that Chris Penn is a karate fighter and brick breaker extraordinaire?   Shit, the character and Penn were so “good”, he was the premise for Tommy fighting in one of the sequels!

I hate the fact that I can’t watch movies I used to love now-a-days because I take such a cynical and farcical look at aspects of the movie that I really should just gloss over.   Next thing you’re going to tell me is that Angelina Jolie couldn’t actually hack into a multi-global network with a 28.8 modem that no one else owns.  DAMN IT!

Movie time!

So yea, there are a bunch of movies that i see the trailers for, think to myself "that could be funny"(Observe and Report, I love you man), and then you see a trailer like this one, that not only speaks to your soul, but during the trailer, I honestly laughed out loud.

The movie is called "The Hangover" and lord i hope its as good as the trailer.



To be honest, Anything with Zach Galifianakis, that dude is awesome.

No Effing Way

H/T: Devil Ball Golf

See that picture?  That’s just an aerial picture of a green on a new golf course in South Africa that’s been shaped to look like the entire continent of Africa.  It’s kind of cool, as this is the signature hole on this particular course.

Oh yeah, did I mention that you have to take a helicopter to the tee box because it sits 1,400 FEET OVER THE GOD DAMNED GREEN ON A MOUNTAIN!

Apparently, you tee off, and it takes almost 30 seconds for the ball to hit the ground.  If you do manage to, somehow, nail a hole-in-one you get a million dollars.

Wanna see the view from the tee box?

Jesus Herbert Christ.

GMV - Nude Music Friday

Time to look at some music!

While perusing around the YouTube world, looking for a good GMV this morning, I came across this nugget, that both plays for NMF, but also Wrestlemania week.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you, from the way back machine, the 1993 smash hit "Woa Woa, its Wrestlemania"

Lets play count the dead wrestlers (too dark?) vs count the wrestlers still preforming for the wwe now.



My count was 4-3.

I’m not sure what to say

It’s the Ho!

I saw this link on The Big Lead, and I really didn’t know what to say.  The only thing that came to mind was “Oh uh-My uh-God!'”

Chan Ho Park signed with the Phillies because they promised him the opportunity to win a job in the rotation.

He wanted that job so badly that he chose not to pitch for South Korea in the World Baseball Classic.

He learned Tuesday afternoon that those decisions paid off: he had beaten out J.A. Happ for the fifth job in the rotation.

We asked, He delivered

Ladies and gentlemen…HUGE props to our man, Uni over at unitqm, as he has provided us with the thing we wanted most.

Quite honestly, the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

Big, in about 15 years.

Saw this story on CNN.com, and found myself hanging my head and questioning humanity. I might be one of the few people I know who doesn’t smoke. Big smokes. Bear smokes. Whenever we leave a bar, I smell like I’ve been hanging out with Pete Rose’s sister.

If you read the story, the old man says that the government is “picking on poor people”. I’m gonna have to call bullshit there, buddy, as I’m pretty sure that a) no one forced you start smoking and b) the amount of money you spend on cigarettes could be spent towards quitting said cigarettes.

If you didn’t read the story, the U.S. government has slapped the biggest tobacco tax ever today, almost 62 cents a pack. Pretty hefty, but do I give a shit? Nope. Do I support it? Hell yeah, I do. Why the hell shouldn’t I? Last I checked, cigarettes cause cancer. I know that. You know that. The guy struggling to walk to his mailbox knows that. To quote KSK, “NO ONE DENIES THIS!” And, I think we can all agree, cancer sucks.

The government isn’t banning cigarettes, and you’re still allowed to have them. If they were making them illegal, it’d be a different story. However, if the government wants to tax the vices of the citizens, then I say it’s a damn smart idea to build revenue. These things aren’t a necessity to live, you wanna smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol that’s fine by me, but you’d better be able to afford it. It’s not a bad thing to take the concept and apply it to marijuana either. Make it legal and tax the shit out of it. It’s a great source of revenue in these current cash strapped times.

If you smoke, either shut up and pay extra or quit smoking.

A Twitter Follow-Up, Courtesy of HotClicks

Has the NBA become too star centric?

As great as they are, are they ruining the NBA?

I’m going to ask for a little leeway and leverage on this as I feel it’s going to be a bit of a rambling rant that goes to and fro.

One can argue that the modern NBA has always been built around the phenomenon of the superstar. (I’d throw a nod at the ABA which could very well have brought this with them.) Sure, you’ve had teams that have been dominant (Showtime Lakers, Bad Boy Pistons, mid 90’s Rockets, 00’s Lakers, 00’s Spurs, etc.), but the NBA has always pushed the marketing angle, and that focus has been on the superstar.

It was an accepted practice and didn’t really dilute the game because the rules were still the rules and teams could make decent attempts to stop superstars, i.e. “the Jordan Rules” – knock the shit out of him when MJ drove the lane. You could argue that the refs had their own “Jordan Rules” and often looked the other way when he committed a foul (the infamous push off of Ehlo). However, they, I believe, attempted to at least not kid glove the superstars on the other end of the floor.

I’d say this was happening up to fairly recently, as you can recall Shaq with the Lakers commenting that he was often mugged under the boards and no one called anything because he was “too big” and people thought he could “take it”.

However, if you’ve been paying attention, things have gone a bit out of whack. I’d say this started in the 2006 Finals where the world outside of Miami saw Dwyane Wade get to the free throw line on many calls that had folks scratching their heads.

Now? Three guys can do whatever they want on the court and they will NEVER get a foul called on them. Kobe. Wade. LeBron. Watch any of their games and it’s shocking how quickly refs will swallow their whistles for those guys.

“But they’re superstars, you have to expect it.” Fair point. This is how things have changed. The other 4 guys don’t have to get involved in the final 2 minutes of a game. The superstar can drive the lane or take a contested 20 footer and get to the line EVERY SINGLE TIME. Simmons alluded to it, if you think Kobe/LeBron or Kobe/Wade isn’t happening in the Finals this year, you’re retarded.

It’s one thing to favor superstars and still allow the game to be played to feature both the star and the game. It’s completely different to sacrifice the game itself in order to feature and market the “unstoppable star”. Unfortunately, the league has turned to the latter, putting the game in the hands of the referees rather than the players and coaches.

Two Things i don't do, unless it involves a buffet

Quick Hits. (get it, I'm a big guy!)

This is such a fun time for sports, yet sometimes I find it hard to focus on any one of them long enough to write a well thought out post about them. So I'm just going to come at you rapid fire and give you my opinions on all this crazy shit.



Totally on board with Brown about twitter, my life isn't nearly entertaining enough to have somebody follow it step by step (ohh baby), but UConn superstar and certain lottery pick in next years NBA draft played on hell of a April Fools joke on every body with the above "tweet." Prue genius my friend.

Speaking of the NCAA, our good friend Victor the Bear looks almost a lock to win the TB&TB Challenge, way to pick all favorites there buddy. Really going out on a limb there chief.

So the Final 4 is set, and I other than UConn, I really don't have any interest in watching these team to be honest. Not because they are bad teams or anything, I just don't like watching Michigan State and there slow, brooding type of basketball, I hate UNC, and I know almost nothing about the small, yet quick Nova team. Good thing I'll be in H-Town this weekend. Ohh did I not tell you we are going Wrestlemania? Well we are. Be Jealous.

Fun Story out of the Land Down underAustralian Pimp Paid Teen Prostitute With Chicken Nuggets. For real, can't make this stuff up. If a girl ever gave me chicken nuggets after sex, I'm pretty sure I would marry her.

Jay Cutler, for real this time, is on the trading block. I really don't know what side to take here, Is Cutler acting like a little 15 year old girl? Yea a little bit. Were the Broncos stupid for trying to trade him for Matt Cassell? You bet. So what happens now? There are a number of teams out there that would love to have Cutler (NYJ, Bucks, Minn, SF, Det), and some of them might even be willing to part with a first round pick for him, but with this "as good as traded" talk, why would they? He's not going to play for Denver next year, so why shoot yourself in the foot to try and get him?

Tiger Woods did his best Tiger Woods impressing last weekend, winning in dramatic fashion on the 18th hold of the Arnold Palmer Golf Shindig. Masters in two weeks. Should be fun. (I'm not a golf guy like Brown)

The Cleveland LeBrons won their 13th straight last night. The Cav's are 3 games better than the Lakers, 5 and half over Boston and Orlando, and a crazy 25 over the closed team in their conference, Detroit. Anybody giving them a chance in the finals vs Dallas? (Kidding, Just seeing if your still paying attention)

One more:

When ever I'm having a bad day, or just not really feeling it, I like to turn over the this site, fmylife.com. I'm sure I'm late to the party with this one, but nothing makes me feel better than reading about other people shitty lives. maybe I should join Twitter.......

GMV - The Bear

Tired of wrestling yet? I hope not, because with us this year, making his first wrestling event as a spectator, our picnic basket loving friend, Bear, is making his way to H-town.

I say first as a spectator because, unbenonst to me until a few min ago, Bear is no stranger to the squared circle. As a matter of fact, he was a full fledged wrestler back in the day under the name of Victor.

Here is the funniest video I have ever found.

Temple Breeds Comedy

I saw this on Awful Announcing this morning, and I couldn’t help but feel a little pride for the hometown. 

If you didn’t know, Big and I (and Uni also) actually grew up together in a pissant little piece of shit town known as Temple, TX.  I say it’s a pissant little piece of shit town because it’s like herpes.  Once you get it, you get it for life, and you really hate telling people you have it because you can never live it down.  That’s right, Temple, TX is the herpes of hometowns.

Anyway, Robert Flores, one of the best Sportscenter anchors around right now used to do the sports on the local CBC affiliate in the Waco-Temple-Killeen area.  He then big timed us by moving to Austin, and then to ESPN.

I doubt that was in the script.  Kudos, sir.  We may hate our little burgh of shit, but we do bring the funny when we can.

I like Star Wars, and I like Dallas.

Thank you, FilmDrunk, for finding this and quenching two cravings

It’s official, I’m old and out of touch

Your Honor, I’m just a caveman

Twittering. Tweeting. Twatting. Whatever the hell it’s called when someone puts something on the Twitter.

I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. Exactly what is appealing about reading small snippets about what someone is doing? Are we that ADD of a nation drenched in Idiocracy now?

I had the following discussion with a friend recently, and I’ll do my best to reproduce this verbatim.

Friend: “Dude, you need to get on Twitter.”

Me: “Why”

Friend: “It’s the next big thing. Everyone’s doing it. Facebook is so yesterday.”

Me: “I just got on Facebook a few months ago and it’s already obsolete?”

Friend:“Yeah, man, it’s all about Twitter. It’s bad ass.”

Me: “Why?”

Friend: “It just is, dude! You can put what you’re doing and people can follow you.”

Me: “Why not just text what you’re doing to people who would actually care?”

Friend: “You don’t get it. Trust me, dude, Twitter’s bad ass.”

Me: “I hate you.”

What is Twitter, exactly? As far as I can tell, it’s a place where you can put a sentence or two about what you’re doing. People can “follow” you and you can “follow” people.

That’s it. Nothing more. Nothing less.

How is that appealing? How is that a social revolution? Trust me, I don’t have anything that I do or think that is remotely interesting. Only 2 of you read this, and one of which is Big!

Admittedly, I’m a little slow on the popular technologies. I just got on the Facebook, recently bought my first digital camera and still do not own an iPod. But, I’m just applying simple logic here and I can’t figure it out.

Somebody help me understand the benefit and draw of Twitter because I’m beyond lost.

Ahh, good to see I’m not alone

A large group of my friends are married.  They live to try and get us single guys to find a girl and settle down.  I can’t tell you how annoying this really is.

Imagine my pleasant surprise when I saw this in Simmons's mailbag column.

“Q: Why can't Hollywood make a movie about a guy who doesn't get married, keeps his friends, loves life, dates hot girls up until they get crazy. But also show his old college roommate married with kids, a nagging wife, a crap job he can't quit because of the kids and mortgage. This should be made and mandatory viewing for any single male by the time he hits 18. At least he would have a fighting chance. If you have a great marriage awesome. But I would tell you that nine of 10 married guys I know are in the old college roommate state of life right now. Good luck all you engaged men. (Suckers.)
-- Gabe B., Waterloo, Iowa

SG: And that wraps up this month's installment for "Fellas, Don't Get Married!"…”

This is for Big.

H/T: The Sugar Sheet

Former Mav running for mayor of…Seattle

Magic thinks James Donaldson needs deodorant

H/T: Ball Don't Lie

If you were a fan of the Mavericks in the late 80’s and beginning of the 90’s, you might remember a big ‘ol center named James Donaldson.  (I’ve met the guy and got his autograph…be jealous.)  He was an All-Star in 1988 and had a generally meh career on a Maverick team that featured Aguirre, Blackman, Harper, Perkins, Tarpley, Schrempf, Davis and Uwe Blab.  (Why they didn’t win a title is beyond me)

Anyway, seems Jimmy is looking to run the city of Seatte.  His platform?  Bring back the Sonics.

Look, I get athletes wanting to become politicians.  Kevin “K.J.” Johnson even became the mayor of Sacramento this year.  But wanting to bring back Sonic to Seattle?  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love the Coney and Tots special as much as the next guy, and a Route 44 cherry limeade can hit the spot, but I don’t know if you can base an entire campaign on it.

What’s that?  Oh, the basketball team?  Well, I guess that makes much more sense.  I agree, James Donaldson, fuck Okahoma City.

Looking at the future of one our friends

You know the stories you’ve read about how parents can take coaching their kids’ soccer teams a little too seriously.  Hell, you might even remember the movie “Kicking & Screaming” with Will Ferrell. 

I saw this story on The Sporting News Blog and immediately thought that I think I know this guy.

“Kinahan actually did and said the following:

-- Called his team of six and seven year old girls by the name of "Green Death."

-- Allegedly chewed out a 12-year-old ref so badly she quite officiating.

-- Advised his players to eat "undercooked red meat."

-- Told them to take the field "like a Michael Vick pit bull."

-- Informed parents that this was not "two hours of free babysitting," and that he was not going to tolerate them sitting on the sidelines “in their LL Bean chairs sipping mocha-latte-half-caf-chinos” and not cheering.”

So, we have a friend who just had a son a month or so ago…for those of you who know who I’m talking about…is it too far to imagine him doing this?

GMV - Wrestlemania Week - The Nacho Matches

Wrestlemania week continues! I'm sure we are going to do a full blow preview of the damn thing sometime later this week, but as with every live wrestling event, there are going to be some "meh" matches on Sunday, matches that you choose to skip in order to hit up the concession stands, or as I like to call them, Nacho matches.

The First of which probably isn't a true Nacho match, due to the nip slip possibility, but i can't put it as one that's must see either. I'm talking of course about the 25 Diva Battle Royal.



The only other true Nacho Match might be JBL vs. Ray Mysterio, but as much as JBL blows in the ring, Mysterio is always worth watching, so I guess the only other nacho matches will be the Music performances of Kidd Rock and that Chick from the Pussy Cat Dolls, Nicole slutsalot or something.

GMV - Welcome to Wrestlemania Week

We have made no secrets that we here at TB&TB are going on a little field trip this weekend, to the land of the screwed up tape, Paul wall, Webster slaughter and the sight of wrestlemania 25, Houston Texas.

So consider this your "welcome to wrestlmania week" post, because I'm pretty sure my wrestling hard on won't go away all week.

We start with a recap of wrestlmania X7. Why 17? Well I'm glad you asked. First it was arguably one of the best Mania's of the last 15 years, Stone Cold vs the Rock, tag team TLC (tables, ladders, and chairs) match, a gimmick rumble, Benoit vs. Angle, and HHH vs the Undertaker. The Card was just nuts. Plus it was the last time Wrestlemania was in Houston, and guess what, your portly pal and suntanned superman were there. If you catch a shot of the "titian tron" and look above it, those little specks that you think to yourself "surly they didn't put seats up there," that's where we sat.

So here is the recap of Wrestlemania X7,



And I know it had Limp Bizkit as the back track, but to be honest, it fits well with the time.