Friday, April 18, 2008

What becomes of Steve McNair's legacy?

If you haven't heard the news, Steve McNair retired.

Steve McNair had a pretty good 13 year career, and some might say that for about a 4 to 5 year span he was one of the NFL's elite, even sharing the MVP with Peyton (Paay-TAHN!) Manning one year. However, to say he is Hall of Fame worthy is a bit too much .

As the cliche goes, "it's the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Pretty Good".

I was a fan of Air McNair when he was down in Houston. I think he was the centerpiece of the transition from the "Randall Cunningham is the only kind of black QB" to today's NFL where the color of the QB doesn't really matter: McNabb, Garrard, Young, Jackson, and Romo (oh yeah, he's black all right), all have different styles. He has got to be in the top list of toughest mother fuckers to ever play the game.

I think he deserves to be honored in the Titans organization in whatever they have up there. (Grand Ol' Opry plaques?)

Steve McNair might best be known from the Super Bowl against the Rams and the all to famous "One Yard Short" play. If the receiver had made that yard, does McNair's legacy change? What are your thoughts?

Seattle, meet your Art Modell

Well, it appears official now.

The Fan House is reporting that NBA owners have approved the move of the Seattle Supersonics to Oklahoma City by a 28-2 (Allen, Cuban) vote.

I haven't really chimed in because I kept waiting for the 13th hour miracle (still possible from Starbucks) that would keep the Seattle's oldest franchise at home.

Make no mistake about it, this is about the most underhanded thing that can happen in sports today, and if you've followed this story you've found yourself shaking your head on more than one occasion.

There's no logical need for a team in OKC as the market is already dominated by the Mavericks and the Hornets. Think about it, the entire TOLA region of the US has four professional basketball teams: Mavericks, Spurs, Rockets and Hornets. Why add a 5th? The only reason that this is happening is because when Katrina happened, the Hornets came to OKC (becoming the NOOCH!) and the fans came out in support. I think they came in support of the city of New Orleans, not because of basketball, but that's my view.

Ripping a team out of its foundations of Seattle and moving it to the ass hole of America doesn't help your product. Simmons has an interesting, though conspiratorial, theory that David Stern has beefed up the Blazers organization to allow the people of Seattle something else to cheer for. (The Blazers are going to be a bad ass team for the next 10 years, look at them.)

It just reeks of underhanded tactics, like when Art Modell moved from Cleveland to Baltimore in the middle of the night.

What do you think about all this?


Read this story.

Pretty fucked up, huh?

I went to Texas, and that's the kind of shit I always thought would happen while I was on campus. Turns out it's the Yalies that do it best.

When I shared the story with Big, he started laughing his ass off. Why would he say "I'll record it the next time I bleed in the bath tub if it counts as art"?

I shared the story with Bear and he screamed "MENSTRUAL BLOOD!!!!" and started running around in circles pumping his fist like Tiger Woods.

Ever wonder what happed to Quin Snyder?

Check out this great article on ESPN Page 2

Before this goes any further, let it be noted that in several corners of the basketball universe, the words of Quin Snyder are deemed slightly less believable than a Keanu Reeves monologue. Many consider Snyder, a former Duke standout who helped the Blue Devils to three Final Fours between 1986 and 1989, to be a fast-talking, slick-moving huckster who is more used car salesman than basketball coach. They say he wants back in the big time and is using this job to angle in on a Spurs assistant coaching position (The Toros are affiliated with San Antonio). They say he's stuck in Austin and merely making the best of a heinous situation. They say -- quite frankly -- that he's full of it.

Guess who's back.

I don't know why this makes me so happy. I don't know if anybody else is enjoying these, but damn I am.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

The genius is in its subtlety


XXXV. Saints vs. Chargers -- Sunday, Oct. 26
This game is being played in London. And, Brits, despite what you may think you see with your eyes, Reggie Bush is a huge football superstar. You just don't understand the game.

Well played, Gallo. Well played.

Mavs and Hornets - It starts on Saturday

I guess I'm beating Big to the punch here, but this is my breakdown of your Dallas Mavericks opening series against the New Orleans Hornets.


Hornets: Tyson Chandler
Mavericks: Erick Dampier

Brown's Take: If I've said it once, I'll say it again: it all depends on which Dampier shows up in this series. If it's the Dampier that played in Seattle, Chandler runs away in this contest. If it's the Dampier that we've seen show brilliance while playing with Kidd, it's Damp. As for Chandler, he's averaging a double-double this year about 12 pts and 12 board a game, and that's pretty much the same against the Mavs this year.

Result: Even

Power Forward

Hornets: David West
Mavericks: Dirk Nowitzki

Brown's Take: Sure, I'm a homer, so I'm going to say that Dirk has this one by leaps and bounds. I'm pretty sure you'd all agree with me. I will say that West is averaging about 20 points a game this season and just under 10 boards. Look for him to keep moving and try and exploit Dirk's legs.

Result: Mavericks

Small Forward

Hornets: Peja Stojakovic
Mavericks: Josh Howard

Brown's Take: I like this matchup as basketball fan, not so much as a Mav's fan. Howard isn't exactly the greatest perimeter defender, and Peja would like nothing more than to pull Howard out of the middle and sit and wait to pop shots. Look for some kind defensive switch-a-roo to happen. That being said, Howard has come on as of late, and if he can manage to keep things rolling, he should outshine his counterpart.

Result: Even

Shooting Guard

Hornets: Morris Peterson
Mavericks; Jason Terry

Brown's Take: Morris Peterson isn't the contributor that Jason Terry is, and he's not exactly a defensive threat. Terry has this contest by a mile.

Result: Mavericks

Point Guard

Hornets: Chris Paul
Mavericks: Jason Kidd

Brown's Take: This is the matchup that EVERYONE is wanting to see. Jason Kidd, the last reamining pure point guard from the Stockton era (make no mistake, it's Stockton's era). Chris Paul, the new era and legitimate MVP contender. Whoever the Mavs put on Paul, he's going to get blown off the dribble. The Mavericks have to play "Spurs-ball" and say "we're shutting down Paul, beat us with West and Peja."

Result: Hornets


Hornets: Mike James, Jannero Pargo, Bonzi Wells, Julian Wright, Melvin Ely, The Birdman
Mavericks: Eddie Jones, Jerry Stackhouse, Bandon Bass, Tyronne Lue, Malik Allen, Howard/Magloire

Brown's Take: From a production standpoint, it's the Mavericks. Period.

Result: Mavericks


Hornets: Byron Scott
Mavericks: Avery Johnson

Brown's Take: Byron Scott knows how to coach teams, and this ain't his first go round in the playoffs. Has he had "ring success", no. Had he had post season success? Yes. That being said, I think it depends on what Avery does that decides this match up. If Johnson forces Kidd to try and shoot, the Mavericks are dead. Avery Johnson has to make sure he doesn't change this team's style like last year. Side note, does anyone else think Byron Scott looks eerily similar to the black detective on "Dexter"?

Result: Even

  • The season series is tied 2-2
  • The Hornets haven't been to the playoffs, more specifically this is Paul's first trip.
  • Make no mistake about it, this is basic science: which team's trio can do more damage? Paul/West/Stojakovic or Nowtizki/Howard/Terry?
  • Now is the time to show why the Kidd move was made. He was brought here to anchor this team and lead them on the court in the post season. He is not supposed to be jacking up shots, but distributing the ball. He's the guy who should be yelling at people when they need it and settling guys down when they need it. If we find ourselves saying "Devin Harris would have matched up better on Paul" after 3 games, then you'll know it was a bad trade.

Brown's Final Take: I like this match up because I think it's a good example of how the Mavericks are much better than a 7 seed and can prove it. Everyone is going to be buying into the love fest around Chris Paul, so I think this give Dallas a chance to sneak in and be this year's Golden State.

Result: Mavericks in 6 (Not sure how Big has the Mavs sweeping in 3...)

Your NBA Playoff first round guide - East

In an attempt to ease myself into the gut wrenching, crotch kicking time known as the NBA playoffs, we are going to start from the teams in the EAST, furthest away from the Mavericks, and work our way back to Dallas. This is your Eastern Conference 1st round Playoff preview.

1 Boston Celtics vs. 8. Atlanta Hawks.

Boston has, as we all know, the big 3, Ray Allen, Paul Peirce, and Kevin Garnett. Without a doubt the most talented big 3 in the League. Combined they average over 55 points, 17 rebounds, and 11 assists, per game. The role players on this team are veterans with experience, Posey and Cassell, and young guys with upside, Rondo and Perkins. I haven't seen a single place yet that says this team will even have a problem with the Hawks.

Durring the middle of the season, Atlanta saw a roster that was for the most part young, talented and scary. Of there opening day starting roster, 4 positions had locked down starters in it. The only thing that didn't was PG. SOOO that's where the Sad Sac Kings came into play. They had a veteran star who wanted out, they wanted to get rid of some cap space, and the Hawks made them a good offer. Enter Mike Bibby. I don't think this trade was for this year, but they knew that in the east, if you can hover near 500 you can make the cash cow that is the playoffs. So that's what they did. Joe Johnson still makes this team go, and they can rebound with about anybody, but they have no chance against one of 2 teams that beat the west this year.

Boston in 4

2. Detroit Pistons vs. 7 Philadelphia 76ers

Detroit is the constant definition of "team" basketball. The team leader is crazy ass Rasheed Wallace, but his play is not measured in points, but in bad assness.

76ers - Young team, streaked into the last part of the season, then lost their last 4. Despite splitting the regular season series, I don't give them much of shot.

Detroit in 5

3. Orlando Magic vs. 6. Toronto Raptors

Orlando has a budding super star(Howard), an overpaid semi star(Lewis), and decent role players (Turkaglu, Nelson). I haven't watched much of Orlando, but I like where the team is heading.

Toronto is another east time on the rise. Chris Bosh is a beast down low, and Jose Caldaron/T.J. Ford make for a more than serviceable PG duo. Alot of people expected this team to take some steps forward this year, but they really didn't.

Magic in 6.

4 Cleveland Cav's vs. 5. Washington Wizards.

Might be the only match up in the east to really pay attention to. Its LeBron vs. Gilbert. How can this not go at least 6?

The Cavs are still trying to figger out how to best implement the new players they got at the trade deadline. Wallace has been OK, West has been good, and Wally is just Wally, he could go for 25 or shoot 1-23. LBJ will carry this this team as he always does.

The Wiz have an interesting team. They lost their best player, Arenas, for most of year, and still fielded a good team in the east. Most of that can be attributed to the underrated play of A. Jamison, and C. Butler. Both near 20 points a game.

Cavs win on the back of LBJ
Cavs in 7

Not ready for the full blown preview yet, but.

Mav's V. Hornets. Round 1. Hornets the 2 seed, Mav's 7th. I will do a full blown preview coming up soon, but here is something to look at. ESPN's experts predictions.

Adande Mav's in 6
Broussard Mav's in 7
Ford Hornets in 7
Hollinger Hornets in 7
Stein Mav's in 6
Thorpe Mav's in 7
Big Mav's in 3

Just food for thought.

Since we are "outing" everybody

Since Brown deceided to show you what we look like. I thought it only fair to give you all a look at our guests as well.

El Blogadore

Sir Arthur Chillumsworth Esq.

Tioga, The Sherpa of Camping

and of course, manBEARpig

Drafting Guru and Sherpa of Camp Sites

Here at the big and the brown, we love all things sports, fake or real. With that in mind we have no problem moving aside for a moment when someone of fantastic knowledge of a topic wants to put their two cents in.

I would like to introduce you to Tioga, the Sherpa of Camping, and his vast understanding of the NFL draft, which is matched only by his hatred of "writer," Micky Spagnola. If Big is a draft dork, Tioga is his supervisor at kinko's. Its a tad bit long, but its good stuff. If you ever wanted to know about what the Dallas Cowboys should/might do at the draft, read this. Any questions can be asked in the comments.

It's draft time again, actually only little more than a week away. With free agency ebbing and pro days mostly completed the draft boards are for the most part set. The 2008 draft is an unspectacular one this year as there is a lack of star power for teams needing an immediate impact; and in fact, the only thing that saves it this year is that there's some depth at most positions which could pan out in a couple of years. This lack of star power has most of the teams wanting to trade down in order to not have to overpay for average talent, and pick up extra picks in the process. The problem is that outside of only a few teams looking to pick up a certain need player, most teams wont or can't move up. All that said, the top half of this draft looks to be very fluid and dynamic, which in turn will affect what Dallas does. So lets start off with looking at what Dallas needs to come away with at some point.

A quick glance at the Cowboys roster points out that they need CB help/depth, WR depth, and a new RB; plus depth and development along the DL.

At Corner Back, outside of starters Newman and and Henry there is no depth, not to mention quality. With both being 30 and plagued by injuries last year the future and present are needed now; esp. considering all of the teams using 3 and 4 receiver sets. - a solid #1 or #2 player is needed.

No less important is the WR position this year. T.O. will be 35 and is in the last year of his contract but at least still playing at a high level for now in a blue star helmet. The same can't be said for his fellow starter, Glenn. The two were supposed to form an unstoppable duo last year, but Glenn went down with a knee injury that doesn't look promising for this year either. Crayton stepped in admirably last season but is best suited for a #3 role. - a vertical #1 or #2 receiver is needed to replace Glenn who can't be counted on.

The good news is that Barber will now be the starter; the bad news is that Jones cried all the way to Seattle and his replacement isn't on the roster. - a speedier RB to compliment Barber's physical style is desired, but one with the ability to possibly fill in should MB3's style lend to injury.

Defensive Line is a punishing physical position, esp. in a 3-4 where the constant pounding takes it's toll. (much like Big's feet or Brown's hand/schlong) Factor in that it's only Tank and Ratliff at the NT after trading Ferguson; plus at DE Spears is on his way out and Canty will be a free agent. Though not as pressing of a need, the DL is in need of some fresh talent.

So now that the obvious is outta the way, I'll go to the other obvious point; that being Dallas' draft position.
Most of you should know, but I'll start with their two first being #22 and #28. In any other draft not so bad, but this year those two numbers mean that you're paying 1st round money to 2nd round talent and the #22 pick gets uglier by the day.

In the 2nd we have the #61 pick leaving us the option of nabbing a player sliding in the round or reaching for a player rated in the top of the 3rd.

The 3rd round sees the Cowboys picking at the #92 spot; pretty much their last chance at grabbing a contributor for this year.

In the 4th it's #126, #163 in the 5th, with the first pick in the 6th at #167 for now, and finally #235 in the 7th.

And now finally with the needs and draft spot's addressed, I can finally get to the good stuff and the reason that most of you are still reading; that being the players and which ones that Dallas will get.

The first position I'll list here is CB seeing as how one of these guys will most likely being our 1st round pick. Although the position is scattered with some talent; there are question marks surrounding each prospect making each a risk/reward player at this point. The players rated to be 1st or 2nd rounders this year are highly overrated and will produce more bust than hits this year, with the players looking more like #2 or #3 talents. Another thing to take into consideration is the style of defense teams play; some are zone coverage like Tampa Bay and Indy while others run man coverage like Dallas and Baltimore. Most of the CB's this year figure to be stronger in zone due to less importance placed upon elite athleticism by the zone teams.

1st round:
1)- Leodis McKelvin 5'10 190 4.39- Troy St.- (man)
2)- Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie 6'1 184 4.33- Tenn. St.- (man)
3)- Mike Jenkins 5'10 197 4.44- South Florida- (man)
4)- Aqib Talib 6'0 202 4.49- Kansas- (zone)
2nd round:
5)- Patrick Lee 6'0 194 4.41- Auburn- (balanced)
6)- Brandon Flowers 5'10 189 4.57- Virginia Tech- (zone)
3rd round:
7)- Justin King 5'11 192 4.36- Penn St.- (man)
8)- Tyvon Branch 6'0 204 4.33- Connecticut- (zone)
9)- Charles Godfrey 6'0 207 4.47- Iowa- (balanced)
10)- Tracey Porter 5'11 188 4.47- Indiana- (man)
11)- Antoine Cason 6'0 191 4.54- Arizona- (zone)

The rest of the CB's from here forth either are 5'9 and nickle at best corners, or they're slow zone CB's. Therefor that leaves one of the above mentioned players being the Cowboys guy for years to come. The biggest problem with that is that several have character issues, physical limitations, and/or production concerns. McKelvin is the only solid enough to draft at #22 but he'll be gone by then. The other 2 man corners may not be available at #28, but shouldn't be drafted at #22 without some reservation. In the 3rd, there is some intrigue as to whether the man CB's King and Porter will last to the #92 pick but if either do it would be in the Cowboys' best interest to nab them if they do.

Another interest of concern is the WR position; but much like the CB's, they leave much more to be desired. Even though there are a good enough number of talented players at the position that quality can be found in the 4th and 5th rounds; the position lacks any one player featuring star qualities. Instead it's loaded with big, slow, possession type receivers as well as, quick speedy players who are short, skinny, or both. Some of the top tier players that seem to blend size with speed being a little of both exceptional at neither, have character and/or production concerns.

1st round:
1)- Limas Sweed 6'4 215 4.54- Texas- injury prone and lacks production
2)- Devin Thomas 6'2 216 4.42- Mich. St.- speed guy but 1 year wonder?
3)- Malcolm Kelly 6'4 224 6.6- Oklahoma- slow and immature
1st/2nd rounders:
4)- James Hardy 6'5 217 4.54- Indiana- size w/ speed, but immature
5)- Mario Manningham 6'0 181 4.56- Michigan- gamer but ? on character
6)- DeShaun Jackson 5'10 169 4.39- Cal- fast but tiny w/ ? on character
7)- Early Doucet 6'0 209 4.56- LSU- still hasn't become what he's billed
2nd/3rd rounders:
8)- Andre Caldwell 6'0 204 4.39- Florida- athletic gamer, underrated
9)- Donnie Avery 5'11 192 4.46- Houston- speedy but raw still

The rest of the WR class looks like #3 guys which we already have in Crayton. Therefor one of the above mentioned guys should be drafted early on and hopefully won't require the 3 years it seems to take for the position to develop. The first three listed probably won't last 'til the #28 pick, yet each has concerns regarding picking them at #22. The next four would be a reach picking them at #28, but don't figure to be available at #61. And the last 2 should be around at #61 but not at #92.

And that leads us into the RB position. With an established starter a complimentary guy will be targeted with a focus on speed. The good news in this draft is that it's loaded with RB talent so good value can be found later than normal at the position.

1st rounder:
1)- Felix Jones 5'10 207 4.51- Arkansas- speed guy but 1st on backup?
2nd/3rd rounder:
2)- Jamal Charles 5'11 200 4.41- Texas- speedy and productive
3)- Chris Johnson 5'11 197 4.29- E. Car.- fast but small
3rd/5th rounder:
4)- Steve Slaton 5'9 197 4.49- W. Vir.- productive but small w/ ? character

It's been trendy on most mocks for the cowboys to take Jones due to the Arkansas connection but to waste a high pick on a guy who'll only get 10-15 snaps a game is a luxury. I think the cowboys could find a similar player late in the 2nd in Charles and to a lesser extent Johnson who rate as early 3rd type players but would be mid 2nds in most RB classes.

And now last but not least, the Defensive Line. It's not a glaring need but is one that's been ignored for some time now.

3rd/4th rounders:
1)- Pat Sims 6'2 310 5.14- Auburn- NT
2)- Ahtyba Rubin 6'3 315 5.27- Iowa St.- NT
4th/5th rounders:
3)- Red Bryant 6'4 318 5.07- Texas A&M- NT
4)- Frank Okam 6'4 347 5.36- Texas- NT
5)- Kenny Iwebema 6'4 274 4.91- Iowa- DE
6)- Kendall Langford 6'5 287 4.99- Hampton- DE

Outside of the above mentioned six players there are 19 other DL prospects that could be had later and developed. There is no guarantee that the above players will be available at #126 but if one is it would do well to nab him; especially since the DT class this year is poor after the top 2. Even though the DE class is strong this year, with more teams going the way of the 3-4, it will be harder to find quality "5" technique players.

Alright, now that the players have been listed, it's time to do my Dallas 5 round mock draft. I can guarantee that at least 2 if not 4 of the above mentioned players will be wearing the blue star next year I'm about to go out on a limb and predict the 5 that I think will; here goes.

1st round, pick #22- CB Mike Jenkins- poor character concerns and poor agility and change of direction drill #'s at the combine scared off enough teams hungry for CB help, dropping him to here. Jerry rolls the dice on a player that at the end of last season was the top rated CB.

1st round, pick #28- (trade down with a team looking to move up and grab the #2 QB, Atlanta for example whom has 3 2nd rounders and 2 3rds) - If not then WR Malcolm Kelly who's pedestrian 40 followed up with his temper tamper blame pointing show afterwards persuade teams to look past him in the 1st; not Dallas though. Not exactly a good fit, Jones thinks he's a great talent.

2nd round, pick ?- (if the above trade happens then look for either a WR like Manningham, Caldwell, or Doucet here; all of whom are a better fit for the "Z" position vacated by Glenn, or a CB like Lee or King to help hedge the Jenkins and Pacman picks.- an interesting side note is that Atlanta can offer 2 of their 3 2nds and Dallas can wind up with both of these positions with those picks.

2nd round, pick #61- RB Jamal Charles. The perfect lightning to Barber's thunder, who would also be able to carry an expanded role for a short time should Barber get dinged.

3rd round, pick #92- CB Charles Godfrey. Barring the trade changing this picks' need, Dallas should draft another CB here to hedge their earlier pick whom has a boom or bust grade. Godfrey is raw but has speed and athleticism, as well as experience at Safety, which could come in handy should Dallas hit on the other CB.

4th round, pick #126- NT Frank Okam. All the other mid round grade NT's are off the board except for Okam who falls to the end of the 4th due to his questioned work ethic coming out of the UT country club. But alas, money and a dickhead coach can light a fire under most fat asses. He has the potential to be a monster on the nose.

5th round, pick #163- DE Kendall Langford. Playing at tiny Hampton plus his lack of development at this point push Langford into the 5th. Dallas is intrigued by his natural size and strength that is needed to battle OT's in a 3-4 defense. 2 or maybe 3 years from now this guy will show up outta nowhere and start for the next 6 years for cheap on the end.

Well, hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading this far. One side note here too; if you're reading this Micky Spagnola, go fuck yourself!


Wednesday, April 16, 2008

So did they just duct tape the levee together?

I noticed the Saints have a home game in London this year.

I guess the whole Katrina clean up and recovery effort is done because the city apparently doesn't need the shit-ton of revenue that a home game at the Superdome brings.

Thank you, NFL for letting us know it's time to move on and let Chillumsworth watch some American football.

As i look into my crystal ball......

You man have noticed that yesterday, while the Blogadore(3 posts), and Brown(43 posts) ran wild, I myself didn't post anything. I know all you guys are thinking, "I wonder what happend to big? I hope he's allright."

Well, i'm fine, thanks for your concern.

The reason that I was out of it yesterday was because of this. The NFL Scedule for next season has come out. I'm sure most of you have seen it, or at least watched 2 hours of NFL live coverage yesterday(no lie) that the WWL shoved down our pie holes.

So as a custom of mine, when the schedule comes out i take a journey(just a small town girl). I journey into the future to look at how the Boys will fair, a journey into the spirt world.

so as I took my peyote, and got on my horse backward, i didn't worry about the indians(feather, not dot), becasue I was in the spirit world, and this is what I saw.

Dallas Cowboys at Cleveland Browns
First game of the year. Horse Balls is ready, Romo is read, Bonesaw is ready. Dispite a crazy crowd, Jessica Simpson can't make this game and TO burns their secondary as the Boys win, 38-21.

Monday, Sept. 15 Philadelphia Eagles at Dallas Cowboys 8:30 p.m. ESPN
Sunday night, hated Eagles. The Peyote is in full effect by now and I have the vison of Pac Man returning a the first punt of the game for a TD, where he then eats one of those big yellow balls and turns to find Donavan McNabb on the sideline and eats him forceing him to sit in the holding cell for a min with gloopy. Cowboys win, 24-13

Sunday, Sept. 21 Dallas Cowboys at Green Bay Packers 8:15 p.m. NBC
Again on sunday night, this time on the Tundra. After two big wins, my spirit guide tells me to watch out for this team. Upset, 31-28 Pack.

Sunday, Sept. 28 Washington Redskins at Dallas Cowboys 4:15 p.m. FOX
2-1 coming into the end of the first Quarter of the season. The team will rally around its original leader, Rowdy, who before this week we find out he is dieing of typheria and win this game for him. Rowdy's Typheria>Sean Taylors glock. 24-17 boys.

Sunday, Oct. 5 Cincinnati Bengals at Dallas Cowboys 4:15 p.m. CBS
Up to this point, the Pac Man trade has worked fine. But with the Bengals coming into town it all goes to shit. A party at Silver City hosed by young Pac Man attracts the like of Tank Johnson, TO, Chad Johnson, Adell Thurman, and even Chris Henry gets an invite. The Strippers are all strapped with blades for fear of this rowdy bunch and Pac Man gets his index finger cut off when he trys to "check the oil" of one of the girls. TO, and Tank bolt, CJ hides in the women's bathroom, and everybody else goes to jail. On the field, TO is visibly shaken by the site of his buddy's finger still all up in that girl, and the boys loose a heart breaker, 28-24

Sunday, Oct. 12 Dallas Cowboys at Arizona Cardinals 4:15 p.m. FOX
Pac Man is done for the year, but that doesn't matter Leinart trys to impress Romo the night before the game by drinking 14 beers, a bottle of Goldshlager, and fucks 7 Arizona State sophmores, all while Romo holds hands with Jessica, sipping on a cherry. Boys, 41-6.

Sunday, Oct. 19 Dallas Cowboys at St. Louis Rams 1 p.m. FOX
Inside the dome, cowboys new draft pick Felix Jones finds another gear, running all over the Rams' horrible D. It's found out later that he Jerry, in attempts to look like a good GM, Spiked his water with crack. Boys win 21-10

Sunday, Oct. 26 Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Dallas Cowboys 1 p.m. FOX
While in the spirit world, I got distracted during this game by what can only be described as "Grape Ape" who was attending this game in on the sidelines. We talked of life, love and where people go for vacations that live on tropical islands. I didn't see much of the game as Mr. Ape was greatly interesting. Boys 23-14.

Sunday, Nov. 2 Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants 4:15 p.m. FOX
At the half way point the Boys are 6-2, and Tony Romo is headed to another pro bowl. They travel now to the defending super bowl camps. Its not much of a game, seeing as by this point in the year the Giants have imploded with sick players due to the Cloverfeild disease. Boys 42-13.

Bye week

during the by it comes out that Roy Williams has replaced his left arm with a rocket launcher, still can't figger out how to wrap anybody up.

Sunday, Nov. 16 Dallas Cowboys at Washington Redskins 8:15 p.m. NBC
Marion Barber the Third speaks for the first time before this game, and ushers the line "We must break you" in a iry singularity to Ivan Drago when asked about the skins. Boys win and the cold war ends, 21-13

Sunday, Nov. 23 San Francisco 49ers at Dallas Cowboys 1 p.m. FOX
The Boys are now 10-2 and the darling of the NFL. Tony Romo has just asked Jessica Simpson to marry him, on the verge of her country album hitting stores. She turns him down with something along of lines of "Bitch you gave me herpes." Romo is devastated, turns to "rebound" with Courtny Love. Boys lose 13-6.

Thursday, Nov. 27 Seattle Seahawks at Dallas Cowboys 4:15 p.m. FOX
Despite Love's whispers of "kill yourself, it'll be great, but first give me all rights to you name," Romo snaps back to his old self, going 26-33 345, 4 TD's in a win over Seattle, 31-10, after the game finds Love, slips her some pcp, and dumps her in south Dallas, where it is believed she was mistaken as a crack whore and was subject to a "south Dallas train" show that lasted 3 weeks.

Sunday, Dec. 7 Dallas Cowboys at Pittsburgh Steelers 4:15 p.m. FOX
With only 4 games left, the dreaded December comes into play again. In a snowy game that can only be described as "snowy," Pittsburgh and Big Ben works the Boys for 4 quarters, Steelers win 26-10.

Sunday, Dec. 14 New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys 8:15 p.m. NBC
With the cloverfeild disease completely gone, my spirit guide tells me to watch out for Jermey Shocky, and Giants win 24-21.

Saturday, Dec. 20 Baltimore Ravens at Dallas Cowboys 8:15 p.m. NFLN
Full blown panic has set in that this team is failing in once again the month of December. The last regular season game in Texas Stadium proves everybody wrong and they win 31-20.

Sunday, Dec. 28 Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles 1 p.m. FOX
10-5 coming into this game, the thoughts of Dallas resting players is shot down by TO when he addressed the team with switch blade in hand before the game. "If any of you MOTHERFUCKA'S, call me Francis, and I'll kill ya. IF YALL LOSE THIS GAME, I'll kill ya." He siad with crazed look in his eye. Patric Crayton, trying to be cute, pipes in with "Easy Francis." At this point TO jumps over ontop of Crayton, with the knife help high and whispers "I'm going to show you where Conner Petterson lives," and thrusts the knife into Craytons eye. TO stands, and says "Lets go play some fuckin' football!" Boys win, 27-3. After the game Patrick Crayton is waiting in the locker room with an eyepatch on, and a shirt that says "Pirates Rock."

At this point I awoke from my trip to the spirit world, curled in a ball on my floor. The time read 7:00am, and I knew I had to get up for work. When raising from my floor, a message was scibbled on my bathroom mirror, "All is Ture, and All is Not true," and in my sink was an Eye patch.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

This is really what it has come to?

Hat Tip: We Are the Postmen

We all went to D.A.R.E.

We all remember the Nancy Reagan "Just Say No" campaign.

Some of us remember Police Ice, the homeboy who became a cop.

What do kids get these days as drug education?

Oh. My. God.

Do they do bibliographies anymore?

Remember when we had to to agonizing reports and shit for grade school? Reports, research projects, whatever. They all involved some finite length report that had to be so many words, a certain amount of spacing, etc.

I never had a problem with doing this because it was always easy to go to the library, check out a few books, find a few lines, switch up the words enough to where it wasn't plagiarism and write my report.

What ended up fucking me in the end? The god damned bibliography. You know exactly what I'm talking about. That shit where you had to quote the source. It was a certain way, with certain punctuation and formatting of things. Basically, your teacher could use that shit to find out exactly where you got your shit from and she could tell if you copied it right out of World Book Encyclopedia. (A side note, how come schools always had the World Book from 10 years prior to the current year? For the longest time I thought there were two Germany's in the world. I was certainly surprised in college to find out there was just one.)

Anyways, did it dawn on anyone that kids don't have to do this shit anymore? No more going to the library and getting a physical book. No more painstaking bibliographies. Nope. All they have to do is Google and Wikipedia and BOOM there's the report AND THE GOD DAMNED REFERENCES ARE DONE FOR THEM.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying technology is bad. Shit, it's the argument I use to tell old people to fuck themselves when they say "you had a computer, I had to write with my hand". You think that's my fucking problem, John Lithgow? Well fuck you, sir, technology allows me to type shit up AND dance in Beaumont, TX. Ass hat.

Anyway, technology is one thing, but having that information readily available for you is a fat crock of shit. That's why kids are so fucking stupid these days. I agree with Big when he says you should be able to beat a child as soon as they turn 2 years old. I'm not sure why he said that, but I imagine that's why we were digging a hole in my back yard and he told me not to ask questions.

I'd like to go to Wikipedia and start editing the entries for Joan of Arc and historical things like that.
Joan of Arc was a national hero of France in the 15th century. She was also a huge dyke that took it to Frenchie with a strap on named "the Frog Leg".
I'd derive a great pleasure in knowing some 5th grader was typing that up on the report that was due the next morning.

So, if you're a kid, and you've stumbled upon this blog because you just Google-d Joan of Arc, go to a fucking library and learn the Dewey decimal system. While you're there, do what all of us did...find the medical encyclopedia and look for pictures of boobs and giggle your ass off.

Curious what we look like?

Though some of you know us, I thought it'd be time to share with the world who we really are...



Ladies, try and keep your panties on.

Fun with a graph

Hat tip: Awful Announcing

Here's a picture of nice little magic quadrant of NBA Announcers and their allegiances. (If you don't know anything about Gartner's magic quadrants, we business-folk love them.)

I like how the obvious is pointed out (Tommy Hiensohn). I don't like how sometimes it's a play-by-play guy and other times it's the color/analyst guy. For example, the Mavericks are listed under Brad Davis, henceforth, pretty objective and knowledgeable. You put Mark Followil on there, and forget about it, he's over there with Goukas. (I always wondered what happened to that guy.)

Anyways, just something fun to waste a few minutes.

The Blogador is bored at work

How many people have seen the movie "The Wiz". Sweet, 1 person (I assumer you're reading this by yourself). It's a late 70's movie that is like the black version of The Wizard of Oz. I highly recommend it, if you have not seen it. It has Nipsey Russell as Tin Man, Michael Jackson as Scarecrow, Diana Ross as Dorothy, Richard Pryor is the Wizard. It's great. Lots of music and creative costumes. One of the best costumes is for the motorcycle gang "The Flying Monkeys".

The one thing that always stood out for me was the Flying Monkeys big beards. The big beard is making a comeback of sorts. It could be making an appearance in Dallas. First the ones I've noticed.

Kimbo Slice- Internet Fighter, Porn Bodyguard, MMA Fighter
Rick Ross- Everyday I'm Hustlin'
Drew Gooden- Cleveland Cavaliers (well!)
Baron Davis- Golden State Warriors and Mavs thorn

and her is where it gets real local.

If the Stars continue to play like a good hockey team and all the players follow the tradition of growing the playoff beard could Trevor Daly be the newest member of the Flying Monkeys motorcycle gang?

Blogador keeps it coming

Sometimes people crossover into other areas of entertainment. This is common with sports entertainment. The Rock being the most recent success. Cena tried, Stone Cold tried, Mach Man tried (Bonesaw!!). I hope to be succesful in my attempt as Blogador does business. Our economy has take a turn from the worse. It's hit the airline industry pretty hard as airlines file bankruptcy. Well a merger was made to try and keep Delta in the black. And to stay in the black they really went black, merging with NWA.

Maybe this was brought on by Alecia Keys comments about gangsta rap. Maybe it was Dre, Cube, Yellow wanting to one up Jay-Z, P. Diddy, Fiddy in business endeavors. Maybe both sides just wanted to see Soul Plane become a reality. I think it will be interesting. There will be some obstacles, though.

* If you book through the new Delta expect delays. The airline will be running in CP time (Ed.Note: As a colored person myself, this is so so true.)
* The line at the security check point will be extensive given the new client base brought in by the boys straight out of Compton.
* Limited service area, any trips to the east coast will probably have to be booked on another airline.
* It might be a safer flight, if the hijackers know anything about NWA.
* Air marshals on the other hand, I think police are police even in the air.
* A whole new Mile High Club.
* You'll have to board the plane from the tarmac since the new asthetic changes prevent the plane from being high enough to enter at the gate.
* The question will be raised: Does the FAA have regulations on window tint?
* Glade spray and timers will be added to lavatories, out of safety for those who don't get there first.
* The picture of Eazy-E on the tail would be way cooler than Alaska Airlines stupid picture of an Eskimo that looks like a lion.

Wait, this isn't the NWA. Northwest Airlines? Why didn't they type that out on the ticker at the bottom of the screen?

You got to admit it would be pretty cool.

the 2nd turnbuckle

As we here at the Big and the Brown love all things sports, fake or real, we know that we don't have all the knowledge of some of our peers. We gladly move aside when someone who is an expert in a certain field wants to put his/her two cents in. With that said, here is what should be a "weekly" post about wrestling from our wrestling guru.

I admit I did not watch 'Mania.

I'm ok with that because it didn't turn out as I expected, at least as whole.

I didn't watch much of March's other big event. The NCAA basketball tournament.

I'm ok with that, too. I usually don't watch it.

I figured if I put both halves together I might have something. Kind of like a Mavs game.

I am making my all-sports entertainment based basketball team.

I am attempting to fill out a full 12 man roster. I will be, as Joe Namath might say "struguhling" to fill it out. Karl Malone and Dennis Rodman are not allowed since they had time in "Nooba" as Saleh might say in "The Air Up there".

C-Paul "Big Show" Wight. He did play some college hoops, mostly in D2, before the dreaded knee injury. Could you imagine him backing someone down. I mean anyone, Shaq at his biggest wouldn't be able to hold him.

F-Mark "Undertake" Callaway. He's quick on his feet. He can walk on the top rope so he's got pretty good footwork. Hit him down low and he could throw it down with some authority.

F-Kevin "Diesel, Big Sexy, Oz" Nash. Another big man with college experience. At Tennesse of all places.

G-Shelton "The Gold Standard" Benjamin. He's Black (Norm voice). He's also a tremendous athlete. I see him driving to the basket and producing a lot of offense. He's a very move-forward type of guy so I don't know that his defense would match up well, but his offense would keep him on court

G-Stevie "Who's this guy" Richards. He almost had something with Al Snow and the Job Squad. He's "still hangin' around as many people know" just not in Dallas(anyone? anyone?). I see him as the teams distributor. Much like he was in the ring he'd be unselfish and do what was best for the show. He'd probably be up there with another Stevie in the Association.


Kenny Dysktra-Pure Athlete, lots of potential. Give him a few years. Anytime the 'Taker is struggling fans will want to see Kenny on the floor.

Kane-Another force down low. He'd have no problem bumping around and getting rough. He also looks kind like white Barkley without eyebrows.

Brian Kendrick- This little guy has a lot of heart. The WWE really wants you to adopt him and take him home. He's so little and likable. I like him in hoops enough to put him on the bench, but not be a starter.

Norman Smiley- He looks like basketball. Or at least the '83 3A state champs coach. Think of him as the bizzaro AC Green. Mustache-Check, Generic black guy haircut-Check, Abstinence-wait a second.

Still-Alive Eddie Guerrero- Because he worked hard and people thought he was a dirty player and his name is also Eddie. He's this clubs Eddie Najera.

Koko B. Ware- He might be Vinnie "The Microwave" Johnson's long lost brother. I'd have him on the roster just to pay him so he can go and buy a real parrot.

Rey Mysterio, Jr.- J.J. Barrea with a mask. Also sitting at the end cursing the coach under his breath in espanol.

You're welcome. Glad I could help put off something for 8 more minutes