Thursday, November 20, 2008

I'll take Time, for the win.

This is Randy Savage in the 1980's as we knew him best.



We all knew Savage as the gravely voiced, flying elbow WWF character that he was.

This is the same Randy Savage at the premiere of "Bolt"a few days ago.



Oh, my. Snap into a SlimJim indeed.

Don't we know how this story ends?


Donny Doo

Landon Donovan.

US Soccer's main man, and, ultimately, the face of US Soccer right now.

Bayern Munich of the German Bundesliga and their coach Juergen Klinsmann have been impressed with Donovan and would like to loan him from the L.A. Galaxy for the beginning of 2009, and possibly get him long term.

And this would be for the first team, not the reserves.

Donovan hasn't faired well when he's attempted to make the jump from the MLS to the Euros. Having been the face of US Soccer, people have wanted Donovan to take the proverbial next step for a long time. I say that because the MLS doesn't have the talent players need to really step up their games and ultimately represent their nations for the international caps.

A majority of the US team plays overseas, and Donovan has failed in all his attempts prior to this. To his credit, he admits it.

"As a person and a player, I am completely different now to how I was then, I have matured. I am ready. I believe I can keep up with all the other players, even if I am not the best player here."

Having struggled to make the grade in Germany last time, Donovan admits he has learned from the experience. "I recognise Leverkusen wasn't the problem, I was," he said. "I just wasn't ready for it."

Well, here's hoping that he can make it happen this time, and maybe even convince Klinsmann to manage the US team in the future. Donovan's always been "right there" and he's got to show that he's got the cajones to live up to the hype that was created for him.

Now, I'm sure the lone soccer nut in our readership, Chillumsworth, will chime in and tell me how off base I am because we all know Chillumsworth is an EPL guy and has a hard man crush on Brian Ching. What can I say, he likes Asians with big quads. What?

If Sparano was still in Dallas....

...I'm pretty sure he'd have murdered Wade Phillips and would use his skin as tarp to cover the end zone or something.


There's a reason Big likes this guy, and it ain't his coaching.

From ESPN via MJD at the Shutdown Corner, apparently Tony Sparano doesn't give a good god damn if you're injured or not

"Nobody feels sorry for you one way or the other," Sparano said. "The Patriots don't feel sorry for us. We really don't feel sorry for them.

"So at the end of this if you are hurt and truly hurt, that is one thing. If you are bumped up, nicked up, whatever it is -- there's a pretty good chance there is a lot of people in this league that are nicked up, hurt whatever it is -- they have to play.

"So the message is simple: If you want to go to heaven you have to die to get there."

Holy shit, how intense is that?

This guy doesn't even put anyone on his injury report. Why? They're alive. I was wondering why Chad Pennington's noodle arm hasn't fallen off yet.

Is there any surprise that this guy was a Parcells clone and went where Bill told him to? Wade Phillips would be Sparano's bitch so fast, it wouldn't be funny. Jerry was probably terrified of him so he let him go.

I'm really starting to think that Bill Parcells is like Michael Corleone, Sparano is his Al Neri and I'm guessing that makes Bill Belichick the Nick "Ace" Geraci...I dunno, I'm still working on this comparison. (Don't worry if you don't know who Geraci is, I might be the only person who's ever read "The Godfather Returns" or "The Godfather's Revenge")

Felix Jones, done for the year


One Jones goes out, and one comes back...

I'm trying to eat a late lunch, and what do I hear from Bob and Dan on the Ticket?

Felix Jones injures his toe while rehabbing his leg and he'll require surgery and will miss the rest of the season.

This sucks because Felix showed from day one that he was a game breaker on this Cowboy team.

How does this affect the offense?

-You'll see more Barber (always a good thing, especially if he dominates a drive like he did to ice the Washington game).
-Choice coming off special teams to bolster the running game when Barber needs a break.
-Less speed in the backfield and in the return game
-More focus on Romo and his arm.

Let's see what happens...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Maybe he sounds like Mike Tyson


Spin-a-roony!

I'm not a big fan of the sports media. I mean that. I don't really like the fact that guys are getting paid to do what I give for free, criticism without base.

Also, in our sound byte seeking media, it's no wonder that people have to be always be politically correct or outright silent to avoid being pegged as Terrell "Get Your Popcorn Ready" Owens or "Straight Cash Homey" Randy Moss.

The media is annoyed if an athlete doesn't say anything, but if they only say the "right" things they are robotic. If an athlete attempts to be funny or just says what's on their mind, they're edited to be crazier than Chad Johnson (who might actually be crazy).

Anyway, it didn't even dawn on me until I read this that Marion Barber refuses to speak to the media.

It's not that he's got the social anxiety problem that Ricky Williams has. It's not that he's been muzzled or so often misquoted that he is shielded for the media. He's simply afraid of what the media will do to him if he opens his mouth.

Think about it. For all intents and purposes, Barber is the nicest and smartest guy in that locker room and one of the, supposedly, best teammates there could be. He just doesn't do interviews because he's afraid that people are going to misconstrue what he says or chop his sound bytes to make him sound like a bad guy.

At the same time, if you don't say anything inflammatory, he shouldn't have to worry. I wonder if Kyle Kozier has ever played the trick where you write "I am sofa king we todd did" on a piece of paper and he asked Barber to read it out loud. That'd be a real hoot.

You just said it out loud, didn't you.

Retard.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.



It was at that point, Ron Jaworski snapped.



Picture credit: Tirico Suave

So your looking for a Website

Looking for good times? TB&TB!

We here at TB&TB, and I think i can speak for Brown, do this little website thing for fun. We're not trying to get rich, or become the new Deadspin or anything like that. We started this little blog site to give us something to do with what little free time we have, or to goof off at work, and to talk about and poke fun at things we love, sports.

It's all good times, and over the past year we have done something that we never really thought was possible, we have a readership that extends past our friends and family. Its crazy man, you never know what the ball gonna do.

One of the more interesting things that have come out of this is using Google Analytics, and seeing what people have searched google for that led them to this site. Its fun to look at, and here are some of the more recent ones.

"best metaphors ever" - why yes, yes we do have the best metaphors ever.

"trishelle cantonella" - What makes this funny is this is the 2nd entry when you search her name. I'm sure when she went on the "Real World - Vegas" she had grander thoughts of how her career would turn out. Some years later, when you google her name, the second site that comes up is ours. Silly Chick.

"tyla wynn defecate" - Noted porn star was the subject of a comment by one Tioga, and it made the 2nd page of that search.

"graham harrell" + "nude pictures" - So, if your looking to find nakked pics of the Heisman front runner, we are 4th.

"2 headed penis" - What kills me about this one, is I clicked on through 10 pages of links and didn't find ours. Someone went past 10 pages of links to 2 headed penises(peni?) and landed on us.

"alvin mack you're the one who got my baby sister pregnant" - Quite possibly the one i'm most proud of, because we are the first site if you search for that. The program rules, and i'm glad we are part of it!

"big clitoris" - Best part about this? I don't know how far we are on the search, but i know we are past 5, and the person that clicked on it spent 5 min on site, visited 4 pages, still looking for that big clitoris. Its a myth i tell ya, it's not real!

bio dome "tent" scene - As proud as I am of the Program reference, I'm sure Brown is just as proud our site being 4th for this search.

"das ist gut, ja?" - Javole!

"how did macho man grow his hair back" - How did he get his hair back? Its a mystery to me still.

However you got to the site, be it looking for sportsy goodness, or a Bio Dome reference, we welcome you all.

Cheers!

Monday, November 17, 2008

College Football Round Up - week 12 - Ramping up

BALLS!

For the second straight week, may Saturday wasn't spent lounging in front of the TV, with the remote in my hand, surfing between ESPN, ABC, NBC, CBS, FSN, and Spike, watching the greatness that is college football. No, like last weekend I didn't get a chance to watch much, but this time it wasn't due to lack of a TV, this weekend the High School football post season started, and I "worked" 1 game Friday, and 2 on Saturday. I highly doubt anybody cares about Texas High School football out side of people in high school and their parents, but it was entertaining to me, and if you want predictions or recaps, hit me up in the comments or email.

However, just like last weekend, nothing really crazy went down this weekend on the College Football Landscape, unless of course your a fan of the ACC. It was just another week closer to bowls. So lets get to the rankins, which haven't really changed much at all.

Main Eventers.

No. 1 Alabama (win 32-7, Mississippi State) - After being questioned to their ability to play better ball in the second half than in the first all year long, Bamma outscored Mississippi State 20-0 in the second half. This wasn't a game that most Bamma fans were worried about, but I'm sure plenty of them were when State took a 7-5 lead in the 2nd. No worries, Tide, as a Javier Arenas 80 punt return and a run game that gained almost 200 yards again put up plenty of points, and the defense locked down the Bulldogs rushing game, holding them to only 35 yards.

No. 2. Texas Tech (Idle) - Just counting down till the showdown in Norman this week. To fill up space, here is Grahm Harrell's numbers so far with 2 regular season games left: att:463 comp:332 yards:4077 TD's:36.

Mid Carders

No. 4 Florida (win 56-6, No. 25 South Carolina) - I don't know what feeling fans of the Crimson Tide had on Saturday, happyness that they won big over Mississippi State, or undieing fear that they have to play Florida in a few weeks. South Carolina isn't a world beater, but they aren't a joke team either, and hanging 56 on them is impressive. Florida's spread offense is proof that you can run, and run well out the spread, this week going for almost 350 yards. Florida is good, and out of all the teams I wouldn't want to play, Florida is tops of that list.

No. 3 Texas (win 35-7, Kansas) - The fighting Mangino's were no trouble at all for the Longhorns. Texas held Kansas to 47 yards rushing and out gained them by over two yards per rush and pass. So the trap game against Kansas wasn't a trap game at all, and now all they have left is the pitiful Aggies. In a perfect Longhorn world, Oklahoma would beat tech this week, but get no love from the BCS, keeping Texas in front of Oklahoma.

No. 6 USC (win 45-23, Stanford) - I feel bad for the men of troy. I know it seems every week I jump on here and say that, but it still rings true. They only have one loss, to a now ranked Oregon State team, and continue to win, yet are barley talked about in the same light as Oklahoma, Texas, and Florida. The game against Stanford wasn't the great defensive performance that we have seen out of USC the last few weeks, but they did what needed to be done to get the win.

No. 5 Oklahoma (idle) - Oklahoma's had the week off, getting ready for the showdown with Tech, and then the season ending game against Oklahoma State. Can't believe that the Coaches poll had Oklahoma rated over Texas last week, they got it right this week, but that just shows you how sad the Coaches poll can really be.

No. 8 Penn State (win 34-7, Indiana) - Sorry boys, but there is little you can do to get back that loss last week. Its going to be fun watching Penn State and USC in the Rose this year. By fun i mean boring, as these two team have stellar defenses. Ohh wait, they may be playing Oregon State in the Rose, as they have the inside track to winning the conference.

BCS Busters

No. 7 Utah (win 63-14, San Diego State) - Almost 600 yards total offense, with nearly 200 of it coming on the ground. They got the showdown with the Mormons from BYU this weekend, and it should be a great game, if only I had "The Mountain" network to watch it.

No. 9 Boise State (win 45-10, Idaho) - Jeremy Avery had 11 rushes for 156 yards. Only 2 games left against Nevada, and Fresno State.

No. 14 Ball State (win 31-16, Miami (OH)) - They played on Tuesday night, on ESPN, completed 6-9 on third downs, and running back MiQuale Lewis had 165 yards on the ground.

A very hohum weekend for College football, but there is some good games just right around the corner, and of course, the Bowls. Here is the Bowl Breakdown by conference.

ACC - 8
SEC - 8
Big 12 - 7
Big 10 - 7
Big East - 5
Pac 10 - 5
WAC - 5
CUSA - 4
Mid American - 4
Moutian West - 4
SunBelt - 1

If the Starbury thing happens, then the theory is true


I bet her breath smells terrible

I posed a theory to Big and Bear while walking down the street the other day. Sure, that might seem gay if you think about the fact that no one walks down a street in the state of Texas, let alone a fat guy, a bear and the guy from "Temple of Doom" who keep saying "Kaaliiimaaa!", but that's not really relevant here. (And have I got a sitcom idea for ABC!)

I posed the theory that Dallas fans are given a choice. Either the Cowboys are good and all the other teams suck, or the Cowboys suck and some of the other teams do well. While the Cowboys have had their downswing over the past decade, we've seen the following happen:

-The Stars become a relevant team and won the Stanley Cup in 1999.
-The Mavericks become a relevant team and a perennial 50-win, playoff bound, championship contending team.
-The Rangers have an 80 win season and we see players like Teixeira, Young, and Hamilton play.
-The Dallas Burn leave the Cotton Bowl for their own stadium in Frisco and re-christen themselves FC Dallas.
-North Texas wins the Sun Belt conference a few times and makes bowl appearances.
-South Lake High School becomes the darling of a nation's high school football programs

Now, the Cowboys see a turn around and begin to swing back towards greatness, and what happens?

-The Stars are the second to worst team in their division and can't seem to right the ship.
-The Mavericks look old and overpaid and, oh dear god no, are looking to make a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE decision.
-The Rangers are about to overpay free agents and trade away young talent in an effort to be the next Tampa Bay Rays.
-FC Dallas trades away their best forward for Kenny Cooper and haven't smelled a solid victory against the in-state rivals, Houston Dynamo, in awhile. (I have no idea if that's true, but you'd believe me anyway)
-Todd Dodge, in one move, screws two programs, South Lake and North Texas

So which do you prefer?

America's Team going through epic fail with the relative success and championship contention of the rest of the teams in the area?

OR

The Cowboys making runs at the title and the rest of the city's sports teams stuck a shit storm.