Friday, July 25, 2008

So...why aren't we posting anything "good"?

I'll let you in on a secret: we're both busy.

That being said, our dear, sweet, sexy readers, expect a deluge of posts in the coming weeks.

Big's gone into his "football fortress of solitude". He is compiling reports of pro training camps, college media days and high school two-a-days. He's about to go football all over your asses.

Also, this blogosphere is about to be introduced to a new character: "Olympic Big". Just you wait.

As for me? Once I'm back in town, I'm gonna break down the NBA vs. the Euroleagues, I guess. I don't really know. Maybe cut and paste Ranger trade scenarios from Uwe Blog (or just link him up...read the blog roll on the right.)

Just you sit tight. The sports flash is about to hit. Until then, you just have to make do with give up posts.



Here's an example, I'll take a crack at Big's bit and translate the lyrics to a popular song.

Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl"

Translated lyrics: I'm a lesbian who's going to pretend to be straight so dumb shits like Bear and Brown will keep buying drinks.

See? That's not that hard.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I don't understand the science of this...


(You try coming up with a proper Google image search for this story when you're at work.)

Hat tip: Unprofessional Foul via With Leather

I like soccer. I'm a fan of soccer. I watch it on television and I play in a local league. That being said, I'm going to have to make a call to the bull pen and ask the specialist, Chillumsworth (second mention today, way to go buddy!), to help me understand this story.

As part of their pre-match kitting up, some Cape Town soccer players are slipping on condoms on their feet, so that their socks can stay up longer during matches.

So, do they actually roll magnums on to their feet? Isn't the biggest problem to sock rolling off the shin/calf area? I use athletic tape pretty liberally, and if I compare the costs, a pack of six rolls of athletic tape is cheaper than a box of condoms. (Before you make the joke, yes, I have purchased a box of condoms before. It was 1998, and I'm still trying to finish the same box, but I've bought a box.) Are these condoms lubricated? I'd imagine that would increase slippage and not help keep things on.

If that's not confusing enough, doesn't South Africa have one of the worst AIDS epidemics in the world? In fact, isn't that one of the fears for the World Cup in 2010 regarding players and prostitutes?

That would explain it, though. Free condoms to prevent AIDS? Nah, we're good, but we sure can use something to hold our socks on.

Nelson Mandela does not approve.

Your good morning stuff

Sir Arther sent us a good video of a few things. They are funny, and with the countdown to Training camp only a day away, I'll take all the help I can get for posts.

Yes, I'm that lazy.

First, your weather for the next 6 weeks.



And now, one (of many I'm sure) kid, 5 years old, that can kick my ass.



Was that Redman training him?

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Donnie Nelson? Mark Cuban? Big? Jesus? Help me understand this.



Tom Ziller, over at AOL's Fan House blog brings up a solid point when he heard the news about Emeka Okafor begging for the ol' sign and trade.

Take all the young and disgruntled stars from the 2004 draft, yes, even those listening to offers from Greece and the rest of the Euroleagues, and you can put them together and have a Portland-esque nucleus of bad ass young talent.

Emeka Okafor, Luol Deng, Josh Smith, Josh Childress, and Ben Gordon.

Now, I'm no cap-ologist, and quite frankly, the NBA system confuses the crap out of me (how Big understands it, yet has trouble spelling his name is beyond me)...

How in the flying fuck have the Mavericks not approached any of these guys and given them what they wanted?

Monday, July 21, 2008

What the hell is this?



If you have been watching ESPN, or had it on, then you've seen commercials for the X Games with this dude above, "Darkmane". Usually he says something like "I hate Brian Deegan" or "I hate the X Games."

Two questions:
1) ESPN is never going to go back to sports, is it?
2) Who the fuck watches the X Games anymore?

Shifts in the NFC East and Oklahoma City got an Arena League Team!

Jason Taylor becomes a Redskin
This broke when both of the Redskin defensive ends tore up their knees and ankles and Dan Snyder found an older free agent to sign up to play. Does this improve the Redskins? Yes...though they're still pretty thin, and Phil Daniels was good DE anyway. Parcells gets rid of a guy he didn't like. Taylor gets to work for a guy who knows Tom Cruise, so he can get in to the Hollywood scene much quicker.

Jeremy Shockey goes to the Saints
Okay, so right now this is just "sources", but they're Jay Glazer's sources, so I'll believe it. Shockey in New Orleans is an upgrade for them. Shockey out of New York is an upgrade for them. What happens when Shockey realizes he's not the main celebrity on the team? It's Reggie Bush and his big ass girlfriend...right?

Oh yeah, did you see that Oklahoma City apparently got an Arena League football team? Wait, you mean the Thunder is the name of the basketball team? Really? Is that a play on words because they used to be the Sonics? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm supposed to believe that because the buy rate on a brand new team (that's shitty, by the way) is high that this means success? Ask the city of Vancouver how much they loved the Grizzlies to start and why they're in Memphis now. Exactly how much of a market does the "Thunder" command? Let's see...

North Texas? Nope, that's the Mavericks
North East Texas/Arkansas? Nope, that's the Mavericks and Hornets
West Texas/New Mexico? Nope, that's the Suns, Mavericks, Rockets and Spurs
Kansas/Colorado? Nope, that's Nugget territory
Missouri? No, that's Bulls, Pacer and Grizzly territory

So exactly what market is going to support the Thunder? Everyone likes their new toy when they get it, and then they forget about it. This is going to fail miserably, and I hope Clay Bennett realizes the black eye he's given to the NBA.

Couldn't agree more

A friend of ours, and lead political guy, Nayfa sent me this this morning. I really don't think I could agree more.

Does anyone really care if Danica Patrick got into an argument with some shitty driver from Venezuela? Can we please stop seeing crap like this latest spat unless there are titties flying out? At least let there be hair pulling or something.

I’m not trying to be an asshole here but she’s a race car driver. Nobody gives a shit about her sport, specifically IRL. So here it is, no more Danica Patrick unless she’s naked or blowing me or something.

-Deranged in Thailand.


In case you didn't watch Sportscenter this morning, where they make this sound like Ali/Frasier, here's the video.



Fucking Skanks

Monday Morning MMA

So while you were out at the lake this weekend, sipping on some cold miller chills, in your new speed boat that's tied to a party barge, and trying ohh so hard not to get your perfectly spiked fohawk wet, there was some pretty good sports going down.

(why do I think all our readers are douchebags?)

I'm going to start with a little post about MMA. On a list of sports that I watch it falls somewhere behind Wrestling and Basketball, but just right in front of Baseball and Golf. That's why this is site is so great, Brown digs the slow, sports, I watch the good ones!

This weekend had 2 big MMA shows, one on PPV, and one was free.

Guess which one I watched?

(hint: PBR, while not as tasty as Miller Lite, you will often find me with a can of it at a bar)

The PPV was put on by a new MMA promoter, and suppler of douchebag appeal across the country, Affliction. Affliction is one of the many MMA joints trying to take a shot at UFC, the undisputed MMA champ right now. Every other promoter has a "gimmick" that they think will help them close the gap between them and the UFC, whether its giving young guys who fight really really hard TV time(WEC), or employing a body guard from a porn site (Elite XC and Kimbo), and this one is no different. Affliction tryed to take the best of both worlds form their fellow upstarts and signed a fighter who many believe to be the best Heavyweight in the world, Fedor Emelianenko.

Fedor is muay thai bad ass who doesn't just kick ass, he really does just beat bitches up. The rest of the card from what I've read was good, but the only reason to buy this fight was to see Fedor. He fought a former UFC Heavy hitter in Tim Silvia, and he did what Fedor does, he beat his ass.



I really don't know how good this guy is, but from what people that know mma, he's the shit. Problem is there isn't a heavyweight that's on his leval that he can fight, unless your name is Randy Coulter, and UFC won't release him(for good reason) and let him fight Fedor in Affliction.

The other fight this weekend was a free show put on the big boys over at UFC on Spike TV, and the headline fight was Anderson "The Spider" Silva vs. James "The N Hateing Dolphin" Irvin. Silva is regarded as the best pound for pound fighter in MMA right now, and he usually fights at 185, where he's the champ, but he bulked up to 205(light heavyweight), to take on Irvin. While I couldn't embed this video on this site, go over to MMA Linker to watch the fight. It only lasts about a min as Silva catches a kick from Irvin with one hand, and punches his face in with the other. Pretty effin bad ass. Go watch the fight, you wont be disappointed. I don't know where Silva will go next, he said in a interview after the fight that his first duty is to defend his middle weight belt at 185, but if the better fights are at 205, then this won't be the last time you see him as a light heavy. Side note, that would be effing awesome if he stayed at 205. I would pay mucho money to see Silva vs. Griffen, or Silva vs. Lidell.

The whole reason UFC put the fight on cable in stead of PPV was to try and bury Affliction's first PPV ever, by giving the fans just a big a star fighting on free tv instead of pay tv. Don't know if it worked, but I sure as shit watched the Spider over Fedor.

Good MMA Weekend.