Friday, June 5, 2009

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

“Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom portray the writers of their favorite blog, The Big & The Brown”

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again


I hate teenagers.

In full disclosure, I do find entertainment in Andy Samberg.  I think the guy has talent, and he is pretty damn funny.   He managed to lure me in to watching the MTV Movie Awards this year.

My reaction?  Remove metal detectors from schools and let’s go back Darwinian physics.

Look, I understand that MTV has always catered to the lowest common denominator.   I remember Howard Stern doing the Fartman bit, but I’m pretty sure that my generation’s youth wasn’t this fucking retarded.

Allow me to rundown some winners for you:

  • Movie: “Twilight”
  • Actor:  The Efron kid from “High School Musical 3”
  • Actress: The drunk girl from “Twilight”
  • ”Breakthrough” Actress: The one girl who didn’t get naked in pictures from “High School Musical 3”
  • ”Breakthrough” Actor: The smelly kid from “Twilight” who played Cedric Diggory in the “Harry Potter” flicks.
  • Best Song: Hannah Montana
  • Best Fight: Twilight
  • Best Kiss: Twilight
  • “Generation Award”: Ben Stiller

I feel like such an old man because, I don’t even know what the hell this “Twilight” thing is, short of the fact it’s got to do with vampires and shit.  (By the way, my playing Castlevania as a kid made me a dork, but liking “Twilight” makes you cool????)  But this movie was up against actual good movies. 

I know what you’re thinking, “relax, man, these are kids, they’re not going to pick “The Wrestler” or “Slumdog Millionaire” over “Twilight”.   There is no way in hell this show was geared towards kids.  I was rendered pretty uncomfortable by the jokes that were told, and pretty shocked at the language the got away with. 

And that’s what it boils down to.  Viacom and MTV aren’t to blame, it’s the consumer.  The target demo?  You got it, the 15-22 crowd.  This is the future of the world, and I’m supposed to be okay with the fact that this is what entertains them? 

Mike Judge, I’m pretty sure, was telling a joke with the movie, “Idiocracy”, but with my first 2 hour dalliance with MTV in a long time, that movie may become more of a mirror than we’d like it to be.

Fucking teenagers.

Monday, June 1, 2009

My head just exploded…

Dan Shanoff usually writes a decent quick hit of sports every morning over at The Sporting News Blog

I say usually because I think I read a bit that literally made me so confused and shaken that I had to step outside for a moment:

“Meanwhile, the Magic's win was an affirmation:

— For building your team around a super big: Howard

— For max spending on a complimentary player: Lewis

— For the Euro invasion of NBA: Hedo > Dirk.

— For streetball: Skip To My Lou had a great series.

— For Otis Smith: Signing (Lewis); drafting (Lee); trading (Alston).

— For the Magic, not the Cavs, as the NBA's rising power. “

Did you read that third bullet?

Go ahead, read it again.

Have you gone mental yet?  You should.

Where was I this weekend?


Image Source: EDSBS