Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again


I hate teenagers.

In full disclosure, I do find entertainment in Andy Samberg.  I think the guy has talent, and he is pretty damn funny.   He managed to lure me in to watching the MTV Movie Awards this year.

My reaction?  Remove metal detectors from schools and let’s go back Darwinian physics.

Look, I understand that MTV has always catered to the lowest common denominator.   I remember Howard Stern doing the Fartman bit, but I’m pretty sure that my generation’s youth wasn’t this fucking retarded.

Allow me to rundown some winners for you:

  • Movie: “Twilight”
  • Actor:  The Efron kid from “High School Musical 3”
  • Actress: The drunk girl from “Twilight”
  • ”Breakthrough” Actress: The one girl who didn’t get naked in pictures from “High School Musical 3”
  • ”Breakthrough” Actor: The smelly kid from “Twilight” who played Cedric Diggory in the “Harry Potter” flicks.
  • Best Song: Hannah Montana
  • Best Fight: Twilight
  • Best Kiss: Twilight
  • “Generation Award”: Ben Stiller

I feel like such an old man because, I don’t even know what the hell this “Twilight” thing is, short of the fact it’s got to do with vampires and shit.  (By the way, my playing Castlevania as a kid made me a dork, but liking “Twilight” makes you cool????)  But this movie was up against actual good movies. 

I know what you’re thinking, “relax, man, these are kids, they’re not going to pick “The Wrestler” or “Slumdog Millionaire” over “Twilight”.   There is no way in hell this show was geared towards kids.  I was rendered pretty uncomfortable by the jokes that were told, and pretty shocked at the language the got away with. 

And that’s what it boils down to.  Viacom and MTV aren’t to blame, it’s the consumer.  The target demo?  You got it, the 15-22 crowd.  This is the future of the world, and I’m supposed to be okay with the fact that this is what entertains them? 

Mike Judge, I’m pretty sure, was telling a joke with the movie, “Idiocracy”, but with my first 2 hour dalliance with MTV in a long time, that movie may become more of a mirror than we’d like it to be.

Fucking teenagers.


j-bizzle said...

i haven't been able to watch mtv for any recordable amount of time in about 7 years save the time i watched "pimp my bicycle" when i was in germany because it was the only thing on in english.

yes, "pimp my bicycle".

yes, like "pimp my ride".

yes, it was so awful you had to watch it.

so, there i was...

j-bizzle said...

"I've said it once, and I'll say it again"
"Man, I love being a turtle!"

That's "Secret of the Ooze", bitch.

Apparently I'm the only one who reads on Wednesdays.

Brown said...

you're the only one who reads anymore. period.

Bear said...

Reading? What's that?

On a side note my word verification was pussylit! Haha