Friday, January 16, 2009
The round table:
-"Rowdy" Roddy Piper
-"Diamond" Dallas Page
-Brutus "the Barber" Beefcake
-Greg "the Hammer" Valentine
I'll say this much, everyone except for Page looks god awful. So, I guess that's a credit to man yoga or whatever he's doing these days.
Anyways, check it out at The Pro Wrestling Blog.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The Question: Person I'd love to Have Interview
Sam Young said: SI.Com's Seth Davis
Jonathan Toews said: Chicago sports anchor, Paula Farris
Ben Wallace said: Oprah
Matt Lindland said: Dateline's Chris Hansen
Who wants to be interviewed by Chris Hansen? Dude, that means you just tried to have sex with a 13 year old...creepy.
My "Cowboy fans are dating the crazy girl" article makes so much sense now.
This came across my email today. Scroll down past the Kevin Bacon news to the little sub headline, "Tony Romo may pop the question"
Us Weekly reports that Romo and Simpson, who began dating in November 2007, dined with Joe and mom Tina Jan. 7 at their Encino home. The next day, Romo and Joe hit L.A.’s Studio City Golf Course.
“Tony is better than Joe, but they were laughing a lot,” Us reports.
Later that day, Romo played tennis with Simpson family friend (and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz’s ex) Ryan Cabrera, and that night he cuddled with his girlfriend at Bar Delux (her sister was there, too!).
With Romo finally so tight with the entire family, could an engagement be far behind?
“They are getting there,” says a source, adding that Romo will ask Joe for permission. “They will announce it when it happens. They will want everyone to know!”
Hey, you stupid fuck, why the fuck are you playing golf and fucking around in L.A.???
Look, I'm not stupid enough to think that football players should be focused on football 24/7/365. That being said, when you have an abortion of a season that was marred with injuries and you're entire fan base is starting to desert you, and you said the stupidest thing possible when the season ended...shouldn't you at least put on airs that your having some kind of remorse?
Why the hell does Romo get a pass for this? I mean that. If we read a story that Owens, Williams or Newman were cavorting around in Hollywood and playing golf and tennis and "cuddling", wouldn't we be kind of pissed?
All I want to hear is that Romo spends his days rehabbing his back, throwing passes through a tire swing and studying film. That. Is. It.
I know I'm asking a lot as a fan, but let me repeat something I said last year on the slim chance that Tony Romo googles himself and hits this page.
Tony, you're not Tom Brady. You haven't won anything that Tom Brady has won. You haven't earned the leeway that Tom Brady has earned. You have lost the faith of your team, your fans, and the entire football landscape. Just stay out of the media and make us think you're doing nothing but focusing on football and getting this team where it needs to be.
Jerry Jones needs to sign a backup to push Romo to focus. I recommend my favorite young quarterback in the league, Tyler Thigpen. Scott Pioli is probably going to let him go and start fresh, so, um, how's about it?
I'm not sure how many people read the "mainstream" sports sites anymore. I'm talking the ESPN.com, SI.com, CBSSportline, etc. of the world. We tend to get our sports new either directly from the television or from other blogs that appear to be more "plugged in" than jack asses like Big and I. That being said, I'm not sure if the mainstream sites have hired people to write shtick to draw readership.
Whitlock's a great example of it. Easterbrook is a boring example of it. Riley and Simmons are vanilla examples of it. But Gregg Doyle might be the most head scratching version of it.
Read Doyel's latest article.
Yeah, I'm as confused as you are.
He starts by admitting that Tim Tebow is a great college football player and appears to be a genuinely good person off the field. He does mention that yes, the media tends to fawn on him. Then he just loses me. To paraphrase: He's not the best college football player ever. Sure he's won all the accolades and championships. Sure he's done things that puts him in the upper echelon of players. Sure he leads his team, but he's not really that great. Urban Meyer is great, and not Tim Tebow. Then Doyel goes on to say that if Tebow was at Purdue or Auburn, then he's not this great.
So, you mean to tell me that only players who played on shitty teams are allowed to be the best players in college football history? Tommy Frazier was on arguably one of the best college football teams ever, so he's not great? Vince Young? Reggie Bush? Archie Griffin? Only guys like Barry Sanders and Doug Flutie are allowed in the conversation because they were on bad teams? Huh?
Then, I get really confused. Doyel mentions that Tebow is a devout Christian. He says that Urban Meyer, also a devout Christian, believes that Tebow's faith and apparent practice of that faith's teachings makes Tebow a good role model, a good person and good for college football.
That, and this is coming from a non-Christian, seems like a fair and accurate assessment from Meyer to me. I think a guy who holds true to his moral teachings and does his best to spread them and do good is, believe it or not, a good role model, a good person, and is good for the face of college football.
Then Doyel throws his haymaker:
If Tebow were a Muslim or a Mormon, and Meyer's daughter texted him with Tebow's chosen verse from the Koran or from the Book of Mormon, would that be "good for college football, good for young people, good for everything"So, wait. The argument that Doyle uses is that Tebow's faith is looked at as a good thing because it's the religion of the masses? If he was not a Christian and still followed moral teachings and did good things and was a good person, that would be a bad thing?
Of course not.
What the hell is the point of Doyel's article? Can someone explain it to me? Did I not read it correctly?
Look, I'm not one for the Tebow-jobs that the media does, but he does actually seem like a good person and if he's the face of college football for one more year, is that such a bad thing?
Its not really a matter of if anymore, but when. With the NFL season rolling to a close, and teams firing and hiring new coaches(someone take Garrett, please), one question comes to my mind. Its a question that is getting louder and louder, and one that the mear possibility sounded crazy a few years ago, but now, I'm just waiting for it to happen.
When is the spread offence coming to the NFL?
Who is going to be the bold, fuck it lets go for it team that will take the most popular and successfull college and high school system in the country to the NFL.
Its not longer a question of if, its when.
Take a look at all the teams that used the "wild cat" formation. You know what that is right? A variation of the spread. Look at the top QB's in college right now. Bradford, Tebow, McCoy, Daniels, Harrell, Nate Davis of Ball State, all Spread guys. The only one that didn't play the spread was Stafford from Georgia.
So whats stopping team from rolling in the direction? Is the NFL is too fast for the spread? Florida has won 2 national championships using it in the last 3 years. When your playing arguably the second best college team in the nation, how much different is that than playing a NFL team? I know the gap is bit, but it can't be insurmountable.
So who's going to do it?
Why not go for it, go out there and get 2 later round Spread QB's like Tebow or Harrell. Give it a shot. Do it. Spread it on!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
On a side note, if you ever meet a cute math teacher, make sure you use this line: "I'd like to divide your legs, add me, and sum all over your face"
That moment happened for me when I was driving from downtown Dallas to my house in the burbs, listening to the start of the second half of the Cowboys debacle vs the Eagles. The first half was spent a somewhat douchy bar downtown, hanging with a buddy for his birthday. The game was on, I wasn't being very social, and I realized that this whole birthday party thing was going to go for the rest of the night, so I excused myself from it, headed home during halftime with the idea of meeting back up later to party, and now I could really watch the boys make the playoffs.
Then the second half started, and we all pretty much know what happened.
So when I pulled into my apt, turned off the play-by-play, and with a full quarter and some change to go, I sat there in silence thinking, "There goes football season."
And do you know what the twisted part is? I should be used to this by now, right? I mean look at truthfully. I'm a Dallas sports fan. The Cowboys haven't won a playoff game in 10 some odd years, the Mavericks keep sucking me in so the they shit all over me, I don't dig Hockey that much, and the Rangers have always, and will always, suck ass. I went to a college that for four years a 500 record and being number one in the worst conference in Div 1 was what we expected and got. Now? Winning one game a year would be a step in the right direction.
So I should be used to teams shitting on my face right? I mean my AOL Chat name is DallasBlumpkin420. And to an extent, i think i am. But something was different with this cowboy team. Maybe it was the lofty expectations. Maybe it was the time invested. But more than likely it was the attitude of the whole team that got me down. TO Owens, Pacman Jones, Tony Romo, Wade Phillips..... None of those guys really got me excited or proud to be a Cowboy fan. And then how the season ended, with the whole he said she said bit, where every ex-player that had a microphone in there face were saying stupid shit like "well, TO is right, he needs the ball more, and who ever snitched on him to the media is the person who is killing this team." REALLY. IT'S THE SNITCH! THAT'S THE GUY WHO KILLED THIS WHOLE SHIP!?!
It wasn't the fact that TO spit the offence into two by going behind his QB's back to complain he throws the ball to much to his TE, or the fact that one of the starting secondary members is accused of being a part of two shootings and to prove he's not that bad of guy, gets in a donnybrook with his team appointed body guard? But that's OK, because Deion Sanders is coming on the radio saying how great a guy Pac is, and how much he has changed, and all these things are misunderstandings.
You know what, If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Dieon Sanders, the TV/Radio guy, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there in Highland Park with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is.
Where's the Tylenol?
Now I know, as a football fan I should be looking forward to all the fun bowl games that were going on, and the NFL playoffs, but after a full season of thinking this Cowboy team was one of the more talented teams in the NFL, to have them fall on their face was a blow I was not ready to take.
So I started thinking college football. Nothing wrong with a little college football bowl games, right? Then I remembered that outside of Oklahoma and Florida, non of the match ups really made it move down there. And thus sent me into a bourbon soaked spiral into the spirit world.
It has taken me a few weeks, but i think I'm ready to move on. I think I'm ready to enjoy sports again, and I truly thank the Arizona Cardinals for doing that. They really made my sports wienie go crazy with the upset of Carolina. Thank you for you understanding. Lets have a kick ass 2009!
Smarter than the average Seminole
In a sport where we're used to Pacman Jones, Jerramy Stevens, Terrell Owens, Anthony Spencer and a host of other arrests and drama queens, here's a nice story that comes out of Florida State (of all places).
Myron Rolle, a safety from FSU, was applauded by this blog earlier this year for becoming a Rhodes Scholar. What he's doing is turning down the NFL this year to accept a one year scholarship to go to Oxford in London and work on his masters in medical anthropology.
That's right, he's turning down a guaranteed first/second round pick (aka millions of dollars) to go and join some of the most prestigious scholars in history as a Rhodes scholar.
He's still going to enter the draft in 2010, but the fact that the man is choosing his academic and personal growth at the cost of millions of dollars is pretty admirable.
I can't think of a lot of things I'd pass up a millions dollars for...except maybe a really nice hamburger. I like hamburgers.
Monday, January 12, 2009
So, if you haven't heard the news already, Mike Young, "face" of the Texas Rangers, is asking to be traded. Why? Because the Rangers have asked him to move to 3B to allow for the promotion of hot prospect, Elvis Andrus, in order to "put as many championship caliber athletes on the field at one time."
Allow me to speak for no one but myself here, "meh".
I know what you're thinking, "MEH!? ARE YOU RETARDED? IT'S MICHAEL YOUNG!"
So? Are you really going to sit there and tell me you think this Ranger team is going to contend or anything while Young is still in his prime and contributing? You're more of a delusional homer than I am, in that case.
I believe Michael Young signed his big contract with the Rangers under the idea that they would take 2 years (remember, every year they say "we're 2 years away"). He was tagged the captain and the face of the franchise. He's the perennial all-star and gold glover. Mike Young was our guy and he was going to be our guy for years to come.
However, this team is still a solid 3 to 4 years away from being anything close to resembling a contender in the West. Michael Young's production is already starting to falter, though his defense is as stalwart as ever.
Would I love to see Young on the hot corner while he leads a young and talented infield of Davis, Kinsler and Andrus?
Hell and Yes.
Do I also believe that if the Rangers can package Young at his peak and actually get something in return that can be here and primed in a few years?
Yes (not with the conviction as before, but I'm realistic).
We complained when Juando left, but we got over it.
We complained when Pudge left, but we got over it.
We scratched our head with the A-Rod trade and pay, but we got over it.
We'll get over Mike Young and continue to drivel in the hell of Ranger fandom.
We've made no secret that we're huge professional wrestling fans here at blog headquarters. Been fans for 2 decades solid now, so when we heard that a serious movie (not a documentary or "Ready to Rumble") was being made about wrestling, we knew it was a must see. Throw in the fact that it had a "re-born" Mickey Rourke and an often naked Marisa Tomei, and you've pretty much got my money already. By the way, this post probably isn't going to bring the funny because, I liked the movie, and it's hard to shit on things you like. (Except for friends because I've made it my life's mission to kick Big in the balls as often as I can.)
So, "The Wrestler" opened in Dallas on Friday, and we packed up the bus with your two favorite bloggers and some of your favorite commenters for a blog field trip. Me, Big, Bear, Bizzle and Carl Badlander. Blogador was going to go with us, but he was on in-law duty. (Yes, I could make fun of him, but let's recap: we were 5 dudes going to see an indy movie and he was with his wife. Yup, we're in a great position to talk shit.)
Anyway, the movie. Fan-fucking-tastic. Cock-tacular. Ram Jam-merific. How's that for you?
I came out of the movie saying that it was really targeted at people who are either a) professional wrestlers and b) people who have never watched pro wrestling. The video of matches and works and scripts was very real and I was, what's a good word? proud? that people were reacting the way they were to some of the crazy shit that happens in wrestling. Hardcore matches, injuries, works for pops and heat, all of it. Having been a fan of the genre for 20 years or so, I had seen these kinds of matches, so it didn't surprise me, but it was the portrayal of Robinson that really had me wondering if I this what's happening with guys I watched long ago that have disappeared from the global promotions.
It was easy to think that you were watching Jerry Lynn or Marty Janetty or someone like that instead of Mickey Rourke acting, and I suppose that's the mark of a good acting performance. I've ready reviews about how former wrestlers in the 80's (think Rowdy Roddy Piper) have come out of the movie bawling like babies because of how closely it mirrored their own lives. Them turning their backs on anything tangible in "reality" just for one more moment to bask in the glory of fans cheering their name. Rourke nails it on the head in he final monologue he delivers at the end of the movie by echoing that statement.
If you walk in expecting to see "Ready to Rumble" and you're going to look at is as a joke, then you can go stick your dick in a light socket for all I give a damn. OR if you're going to be a pompous ass who's more interested in lighting, sound and searching for analogous and anecdotal imagery that Aronofsky is trying to capture by using these shots, then you can drown in your own douchbaggery and I hope you die of AIDS. However, if you just appreciate a good movie that you can watch and enjoy for 2 hours, I'd recommend you pick this up when it gets released or head to your local movie theater and check it out.
That might have been one of my douchiest posts ever. The movie's got MILF tits and lots of 'em. Hooray for Coug-Boob!