Friday, February 13, 2009

Looking to break up with your girlfriend?

Just get her this tomorrow

Mike Sciroy, you are a genius!

Had The Ticket on while working and Rhadigan and Bascik are filling in for Norm. They were talking about the NBA All-Star game and how the best part of the weekend is the skills contests on Saturday. Then ticker guy, Mike Sciroy (I'm guessing that's how you spell it), chimed in with the most genius idea ever.

Instead of aligning the teams by Eastern and Western conferences, you take it to the street.

-Let people vote players into an All-Star pool like they do now.
-Top two vote getters (Kobe and LeBron) would be the team captains
-After the Saturday night dunk contest, the two captain pick teams like street ball
-THEN you play the game on Sunday with the teams.

Tell me that wouldn't be genius.

So, pretend Big is LeBron and I'm Kobe, and use the comments to make our picks for us.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

GMV - Funny Friday

Internet gate is at almost 2 weeks. But i swear the GMV will be back as soon as I am. But fear not, i'm going to bring Funny Fridays to all you sexy readers.

This week its the greatnes that is the Flight of the Concords. Before the show they were just an extreamly talented comedy act. You may have heard some of these songs before. Here are my favs.

Catching up on the NBA

So, admittedly, we haven't been paying much attention to any sports that aren't football, but that's beacuse that's the sport that's been on the forefront of things. It's not to say that we don't watch other sports, just haven't had the itch to write about them. an effort to bring you up to speed on the NBA, here's a small blurb on all the teams going into the back half of the season.

Eastern Conference

Atlantic Divison

Boston (42-11)
The defending champs are continuing their stranglehold on the East. They've spent the entire season trading blows with the Lakers for the best record and title of "strongest team" going into the playoffs. They've stayed healthy behind the Big 3, and as long as that's the case, they're not going to face a test until Cleveland in the East Finals.

Philadelphia (26-24)
Philly had something going for them with the core built around Iggy and Brand. However, Elton Brand is gone for the season and they've played the last 25 or so games without him, Philly has learned what they need to do over the last 30 or so games to get to the post season.

New Jersey (24-28)
The Nets have rallied behind the young point guard, a guy you might remember, Devin Harris. With VC's elbow keeping him off the court, it's been the Devin Harris show. New Jersey is one of those teams that feels they could be there with a few moves, so what for deadline activity.

New York (21-29)
I didn't think New York was going to win 20 games this season, but he, the coach of the three first names, has coached this team into something else. That being said, they've just gotten Kobe'd, LeBron'd and Celtic'd on consecutive nights, so this team is about as deflated as it's going to be.

Toronto (19-34)
Chris Bosh wants out. Don't believe him when he says otherwise. This team is terrible, and he's been hurt so they've been that much worse without him.

Central Division

Cleveland (39-10)
If you've got LeBron, you've got a chance. Period. The addition of Mo Williams this year has been a godsend as James has a second option and a feeder built into one. The loss of Pavlovic for 6 weeks has them in the market for a replacement 2 guard. Watch for small movement.

Detroit (27-22)
It's a little odd to see the Pistons play the way they've played this year. We knew they were getting older, and Dumars move to break up the band and bring in AI hasn't really paid off the way he wanted it to. I think this team is shocked they're not longer the toast of the East, and they'll be blown up big time.

Milwaukee (25-29)
Let's see. Michael Redd? Out for season. Andrew Bogut? Out for season. Luke Ridnour? Out for season. Tyronne Lue? Traded to Orlando. The cupboard is empty in the land of dairy.

Chicago (22-29)
Everyone agrees that Vinny Del Negro is over his head, but I think he's actually starting to assume some control over this team. Derrick Rose has made his case for ROY and the core of Deng and Gordon has been solid at best. A LOT of talk is going around Chicago of bringing in Amare to the fold. Interesting.

Indiana (20-32)
Another team hampered by injuries. Granger and Dunleavy are both hurt...unfortunately that's the core of the team. You're basically asking Queezy and Troy Murphy to take up slack. Ouch. Then again, Granger vows he'll play even if he has to limp everywhere, so, you know, the've got that going for them.

Southeast Division

Orlando (38-12)
I liked Orlando's chances this year, right up until All-Star PG, Jameer Nelson went down for the rest of the season with a bad shoulder. He's about as irreplaceable as it gets for them, so it'll be interesting to see what they do at the deadline. Superman in the middle gives them a fighting chance.

Atlanta (29-21)
That's one more team who's been bitten by injuries, but have managed to win enough early in the season to sustain them through the winter. Once Joe Johnson and Mike Bibby return, then this team can come back to form for the stretch to run at the 8.

Miami (27-23)
A team that is poised to make some moves at the deadline. D-Wade has done it all, but he's not the transcendant player that other one man shows are (unless the refs help him out, see 2006 NBA Finals).

Charlotte (20-31)
MJ has to be a scratch golfer because he sure as hell ain't paying any attention to his team. They just moved Adam Morrison to the Lakers for nothing. A core of Phoenix cast offs aren't going to do much for you, nor is the Wallace and Radmanovic connection.

Washington (11-40)
Here's what you need to know about the Wizards this year. Arenas has yet to play since last year, and they've matched their loss total from last year before the All-Star Break. Yeah.

Western Conference

Northwest Division

Denver (34-17)
The Nuggnuts have made a point this year to pretty much destroy any team at or below 500 for the season. That might explain the pretty record they're sitting at right now. That or this season's power couple of Melo and Chauncey.

Portland (31-19)
Ahh yes, my favorite young team in the NBA. Portland is finally trying to live up to the potential they've got, and they're still building. Oden, Roy and Aldridge have been defending the castle to perfection, and probably giving Seattle fans something to hold on to from a basketball perspective. If Oden stays consistent, the Blazers will streak into the playoffs and be "that team"

Utah (29-23)
I'm not sure if you've sensed a theme or not, but injuries have played a part in demoralizing teams this season. Boozer, Kirilenko and Williams have all been hurt for periods of time this season...most of them at the same time. Deron Williams, however, as managed to come back and hold the team together to poise them for something when the other two return.

Minnesota (17-33)
Maybe Kevin McHale can finally be fired. This team's last gasp hope died when Al Jefferson went down for the rest of the year with a torn ACL.

Kevin Durants (13-38)
I'll say this much. If Sam Presti is as smart as Spurs fans say he is, he'll make up an injury for Durant and force these guys to tank the way to the lottery pick to get hometown stud, Blake Griffin.

Pacific Division

LA - Lakers (41-9)
This team is better than last year's team...and yeah, Bynum's out for the rest of the season again (probably). Pau Gasol has gotten used to the team. Lamar Odom has grown comfortable in the 6th spot and Trevor Ariza is playing above his head. If Morrison can find a groove off the bench. Oof.

Phoenix (28-22)
They're in full scale blow up mode. Everyone and anyone is on the table, including Terry Porter. Good bye, everybody. It's time to go. Does Nash go to New York? Does Amare go to Chicago? Does Shaq Twitter himself into insanity?

Golden State (17-35)
Yeah, Baron Davis was that important to Nelly's system. You compound that with injuries (again!) and the new loss of Biedrins...well, the lottery isn't that bad if you have a pick, right?

LA - Clippers (12-40)
Really, is anyone suprised by this team's suck-itude anymore? Baron Davis wasn't the answer, and neither is Coach Dunleavy.

Sacramento (11-41)
The town of the cow bell is quiet. Webber had his jersey retired and Divac's is going to have his retired next month. The Sad Sac Kings moniker has never fit so well.

Southwest Division

San Antonio (34-15)
Is anyone going to argue that Gregg Popovich is the best coach in the league? Seriously. You can argue he's got talent, but he knows what to do with them. If they're hurt, he knows how to survive. Long game stretch? Sit 'em for gmes that don't matter and conserve gas. The loss of Sam Presti didn't hurt him, so it's obviously Pop's genius, right? Fuck Tim Duncan with a ping pong paddle.

New Orleans (30-19)
Last year's darlings haven't been so darling this year, but that doesn't mean they're in trouble. David West and chris Paul (hurt right now) are still the leaders of this team and they can turn it on when they need to. The key thing is, they're not "new and sexy" anymore.

Dallas (30-20)
You know, I like Rick Carlisle and what he's doing. I think the beginning of the year he was still feeling out his players and figuring out who fit in what roles the best way. Now he's got his players playing the way they should be playing. He turned over the play calling to Kidd, and we've seen him revitalize himself. Dirk is Dirk and Howard is returning the form. Carlisle has cut Terry lose to become the premiere shooter on the team, a role they oh so desperately need. Probem is, Terry broke his hand and is out for a minimum of 6 weeks (unless he pulls a Carmelo Anthony and returns in 3). Look for the Mavs to deal for a shooter before the deadline.

Houston (31-21)
Here's a fun fact. Everyone else has been hit really hard by the injury bug. Houston is normally always injured. Houston happens to be quite healthy (for them) these days. So, what's the issue? Yao doesn't like T-Mac. Rafer Alston doesn't like anyone. The Scola-Landry connection isn't as productive as it has been. Oh, and that Ron Artest thing? Hasn't worked they way they'd hoped it would.

Memphis (15-36)
The lowly Grizz. You've fired your coach. You've lost 12 straight under two replacement coaches. What's left? Nothing. Just turn it in and make sure you turn off the lights in the arena...least you can do is be green.

So that's it. Hope that provides an ample enough update on what's happening in the Association for you this season.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

That's one more night I'll be watching wrasslin'

Me, Big, Bear and El Blogador have been debating when, where and how he was coming back, but none of us had this one pegged.

Big thinks this makes sense to bring more light to ECW...I disagree and say this is Vince punishing Christian for leaving the WWE and is now wasting talent.

We'll see

H/T: The Pro Wrestling Blog

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Mexico Vs the US, its time

So we asked friends to write post for us over the past couple of days, and they have done a fantastic job, and because I STILL DON'T HAVE INTERNET AT WORK, and Brown has been rocking the work bit, we got another one for ya. Its from the britt again. And it about those crazy mexicans. And soccer of course!

Do me a favor, even if you're not a soccer fan, just indulge me and think of the act as sign of your patriotism. I want you to go buy a taco from one of those roach coaches you see on the side of the road, and in plain sight of the owner/operator; I want you to stomp the taco into the ground and walk away.
Oh sure, I know you'll do it just for kicks, but some of you may ask; why?

Because it's USA versus Mexico. That's why.

This is a rivalry so huge to our southern neighbors they have been going bananas for a week. There was a report of the electronics chain Radio Shack denying involvement in an advertising campaign put forth in their Mexican stores. (They have el Radio Shacks? wow) Seems the head honcho south of the border thought it would be cute to sell small voodoo dolls in the likeness of American soccer players. He was planning on releasing a short line with about four different types to encourage the whole country to rally to the rivalry. It's mean spirited, yes, but think about it; if we would have done that in the states there only would have been one type of doll. Dark hair, mustache, sombrero, etc...

Mexico has called us their eternal rivals, have the majority of wins in all time matchups and certainly have a richer history with the game. BUT (notice the big but), this year should be different. Mexico has not beaten the US on american soil in about ten years, add that to the fact the game will be held in Colombus Ohio where it is waaaay too cold for mexicans. In the past US players have recieved hate from the pro-mexican crowd even when we host the match. Mexico is in a poor run of form against all opponents having only won 1 match in the past six. Their coach Sven-Goran Eriksson (whaddya mean he's not mexican?) has been under constant fire from the mexican media over his squad selection and of course lack of results. There have been some grumblings that he could lose his job and be shuffled off to the premier league to head a club there, again. It's no secret that head coaches disappear like cotton candy, look for him to exit if Mexico submarines in the match.

OK, enough hate time to show a little love. This is our year to get deep into the World Cup Tournament and put an even better face on american soccer. For the upcoming match we have a strong mix of returning players and new blood. Players traveling from abroad are seeing playing time for their respective clubs and should be in good fitness. Donovan (Bayern Munich), Clint Dempsey (Fulham) and Tim Howard (Everton) have all been exceptional, look to these veterans to put in an inspiring performance. Relative newcomers with something to prove include Sacha Kjlestan (Chivas USA), Jose Francisco Torres (Pachuca) and Jozy Altidore (Xerez CD). You may have already heard of Altidore, at just 19 years old he plays with the compsure of someone much older and wiser, he may very well develop into our best scoring threat. Watch out for these wildcards to either make or break the american effort; Demarcus Beasley (Glasgow Rangers), Oguchi Onyewu (Standard Liege) and Marvell Wynne (Toronto FC, MLS). Beasley is still one of my favorite US players, but he has been disappointing and inconsistent in his last games for the red, white & blue. The latter two in the list are straight up loose cannons. We are talking about the biggest scariest, angry black men who play soccer. These guys are out to bust heads. I have seen Onyewu, or "Gooch" as he's known to his teammates, make the most vicious tackles and never fails to stick an elbow in. Likewise Marvell Wynne has thrown punches at his opponents and I have seen his temper get him ejected from an MLS match. In short, these are the guys we need for a match like USA vs Mexico, because it's gonna get rough, but they are in no way good ambassadors of the game for our country. All in all we have a very strong squad and with more and more youngsters getting some men's national team playing time we look to add depth to our squad going forward towards the 2010 world cup in south africa.

How about that for some light reading? Well, you can go back to work now. Just do that taco thing we talked about. Hey even better, grab a beer, throw on something patriotic and tune in to ESPN2 at 6pm CT. Support your country dammit.

p.s. you can get your sweet rivalry hat here.

We Asked and You Answered

We told you we were busy. We asked you to write stuff for us. The Bear has responded, and now so has the Brit.

Greetings, Your Highness Sir Arthur Chillumsworth III Esq. here. I come to you today on a matter of grave international importance; storied nations will clash in the sport of football today and tomorrow and for fans like me I get a real boner about it. For you casual soccer fans out there this might be a reason to flip on the telly or set your digital recorder doo-hickey for Fox Soccer Channel at 1:30p CT. Brazil is playing Italy.

Really?! I have to say more? Well, let's see Brazil is the only team to have played in every one of the past 18 World Cup tournaments. They mean business, even though this is just a qualifier they always want to win. Every stage of this tournament is vital the players and coaches, their professional careers depend upon international success. Both Italy and Brazil have won the cup many times, four and five times respectively, the nations know what it takes to win. The record between these teams in competition stands dead even; in 12 meetings each has won five and drawn twice. The stage is set for some memorable football. Both Italy and Brazil are fielding younger players who are eager to prove themselves, although the media is always wary of new players because they are unproven I believe we are in for a scintilating match.

Tomorrow is huge day for WCQ, Argentina v France, England v Spain and of course USA v Mexico. Check back later in the day today and again tomorrow for more insight into those matches.

UPDATED CORRECTION: The Brazil/Italy match is a friendly, not a qualifier. How stupid of me! Brazil in CONCACAF an Italy is UEFA.

A Note from the Bear's Cave

Big and I are busy at our respective jobs. Bear wrote something. He emailed it. I posted it. Its not rocket science. Come on, sexy readers, pick up our slack.

A-Rod/ A-Fraud
First off, I really dislike this guy. I was a huge fan of his when he came here. I hated his contract but I was happy to see him in a Rangers uniform. But the way he handled himself upon departing the Rangers it was just classless and since I have felt bittersweet victory every time he flops in the playoffs. But are we really surprised that he was busted for Steroids when he was with the Rangers? In fact, it's more, and more sounding like most of the Rangers big hitters back in the late 90's to early 2000's had their own version of the Cowboys White House, where instead of the nose candy they sat around sticking needles in each others arse's.
The Supporters Defense; But he hasn't changed size since then unlike barry and he's at the peak of his career! You know what I say? Shut up you scrawny little pee-on! You've never been in a gym in the last decade so why should I listen to you speak about steriods? Seriously though, steriods dont affect everyone the same way. Depending on how often you cycle (for you scrawny ones out there when you cycle it's when your on the juice), what you do with it while your cycling, and how far apart your cycles are you could have minimal changes to your body mass.

Jason Terry out several weeks
Well... this team has been dragging through the regular season and lately has shown that they still struggle with closing games out. I've had conversations with both Big and Brown and we all are on board with moving Terry, only problem is he's been the most consistent player on the team. Kidd has flashes where he doesn't show his age. J-Ho probably smoked so much weed during the offseason he is still high and having trouble learning Carlisle's system. "That's crazy man, you can't control what the ball do... that's crazy!" So who's going to fill in? Stackhouse? Guess we'll see what kind of basketball shape he's in. I think it's going to come from a mixture of Kidd, The mexican jumping bean JJ Barea and Antoine Wright. If this team keeps this play up it's going to be an ugly playoff push. We're just lucky the rest of the division is a little down this year and not putting up Lakers numbers.

Tony Romo finally speaks!
You can't see this but I'm twirling my finger right now because I really dont care. He didn't say much, just put on his best Favre "Aw Schucks" Face and said that players at this level dont need to be motivated. BS! Your motivations have changed... instead of being motivated to play well to get to the pro's you're motivated to make the most money you can. Show me the player that will upfront offer to lower his contract to afford better players and I'll show you a player that see's his career nearing an end and he still has no championship.

Sean Avery cleared waivers!
Stars are trying to move him, and the Stars fearless couch captian says he'd give Avery a second chance. Does anyone care anymore? I'm with Brown that his comments weren't that bad to begin with, and quite comical for any guy that isn't gay.

The Pro Bowl was yesterday?
Really? I didnt even watch it! Does anyone outside of Hawaii even care? Does moving it to Miami mean more people will watch it? No!