"If you use FourSquare, you are an annoying jackass"
Be still, my beating heart.
Then the opening lede...
"The mobile phone fad Foursquare is about to hit 1 million users. But while early adopters have signed on to play their little games, it's just another narcissistic assault on decent society by urban-dwelling iPhone users."
Could it be?
"Now people have started linking Foursquare to their Twitter and Facebook accounts, so some people's Twitter feeds read like an itinerary. "Joe is at Taco Bell." "Joe is at Wal-Mart." "Joe is at Tian'an Men Massage Parlor." Shut the fuck up, Joe. We don't care where you are! And if we did, we would text or call or email and say "Where are you?" Is that so hard? Even worse is if you're with Joe on a night out, and he's too preoccupied with earning his badges and seeing where everyone else is to actually talk to you. Hey, Joe. We're right fucking here trying to have fun in real life. Stop ignoring your friends, put down your iPhone, and try to engage with the real world like an actual person instead of some virtual game like some sort of limp World of Warcraft avatar."
...From sea to shining sea....