Saturday, March 28, 2009

Greatest. Story. Ever.

There are days when you come across a story that is so crazy, wild and nuts that you really don't know what to do yourself. I don't like to wish bad things on people, but i will laugh my ass off when something like this happens.

Meet Vince Shlomi. He's probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers.

The ShamWow guy's last name is Shlomi? That was worth reading the article right there. But wait, there is more.

Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room.

Violent confrontation with a prostitute huh? Well, I wonder what he did, or asked the hooker to do, that started this "confrontation." Please lord let it have been an argument over how much man juice a shamwow can hold, with Shlomi issuing the line "well lets see how much blood it can clean up!"

(Shlomi) retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris(the hooker) about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.

I don't know much about hooker laws and practices, but I would like to think if you bring one up to your super nice hotel room, offer to pay her 1000 bucks for just some regular sex, and then you explain to her that your the shamwow guy, she shouldn't bite your tongue. But that's just me.

After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons

Whoa Whoa, Booze was involved? Get the Fuck Out. And this was his mug shot.

I swear to you these two picks are of the same person. ShamWow, you have ruined yet another life.

H/T : Film Drunk

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

GMV - Nude Music Friday

I don't know why I wanted to do this, but it seems to me that we have now reached far enough away from the 80's that people are really starting to use samples and what have nots from the music of that decade.

The use of these 80's songs are no more prevalent than in the world of rap. Here some examples...

Flo Rida - Right Round.

Slim Thug - I Run

Rick Ross - Push It

(click here, youtube, they don't want to embed it)

As a child of the 80's and a fan of Hip Hop, I kinda enjoy this stuff. Take from it what you will.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Wrestlemania bingo just got easier

As Big mentioned, we’re headed down to Houston for Wrestlemania in two weeks, and we’ve asked you to help us create some entries for bingo sheets and camera scavenger hunts while we’re down there.

Well…this might or might not affect your entries:

Kid Rock is going to be performing at Wrestlemania.

Continue your entries.


As I continue to get bits and pieces of the Internet back from the Kaiser, I'll post these more and more.

Here is the Negotiator vs some Lizard thing from the original Star Trek. Trust me, its funny.

Did He just punch him where the ears should be, and did he just throw a fucking rock at me?

Monday, March 23, 2009

Please, oh please, let this be true

I’m a spare!!!

Saw this on in the Dallas Morning News and had a tiny little celebration.

The Cowboys have looked into the possibility of trading linebacker Bobby Carpenter, according to sources, but might be more reluctant to move the former first-round pick with Kevin Burnett's departure.

Finally!  How long have people in and around the Metroplex been begging for this sorry sack of shit to be cut from the team?  As much good as Parcells did for the Cowboys, his nepotistic take on former players (Keyshawn, Mo Carthon, etc.) and their children killed our draft.

Really?  A number one pick on Bobby Carpenter?  Guhhh.

I say good riddance, and good day to you sir.  I don’t care if you’re Tony Romo’s friend.  Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out of Valley Ranch.

Got a case of the Mondays?

Well take a look at this.

How can you not be happy after looking at this? From its creator, over at Plan to fail.

"for the unenlightened, here's a quick rundown of whats in it

big puffy clouds
frank lloyd wright house Falling Water
rolls royce phantom
bear skin rug with Bryce Dallas Howard on it
a shit load of lab puppies
daft punk performing
a saddled trex with corked teeth
and shit tons of beer to enjoy with my friends C.S.Lewis, G.K. Chesterton, St. Thomas Aquinas, J.R.R. Tolkien and Jesus Christ"

I would have put in Orson Scott Card instead of Tolkien, and Chris Farley instead of Chesterton, but a good list none the less.

Wow, birthday central over here

Every hall of fame has a counterpart in its hall of shame.  If we had ours, I’m pretty sure this man could be the flag bearer of the inaugural class.

That’s right, yesterday was Shawn Bradley’s birthday.

I’ll leave it to the guys at 4th and Fail.

We’ve got another birthday!

Happy Birthday, Bizzle!