Saturday, June 7, 2008

HUGE NEWS READ NOW

So my weekend started pretty normal. Thursday was a pretty normal day for the most part, after work I just wanted to go home, get some good food, and watch the NBA playoffs. I got home, after picking up a fantastic meal from a local place, and settled down to watch what I think could be the most fantastic NBA finials from a basketball stand point that we have seen in years.

Just as I finish my meal, the Mexican calls me. I know what he wants, he wants to drink and watch the playoffs. Me and him play this little game where if one of us wants to go out they make the call, and if the other guy wants to go, weather he admits it or not, he answers the phone. No matter how many "na, I really should stay in tonight," type phrases get spoken, the rule is simple, if you answer, you have to go out. Needless to say, I was looking forward to staying in that night, but I answered the phone call, and off to the bar I went.

So we watched the game with the Sherpa, his pseudo girl, and one of the Mexicans lady friends, who was a big Celtics fan. At first I thought, Hell, here is another Boston band wagoner, just like all those hopeless red socks "fans." But then when Paul Peirce got hurt, she stood up and yelled, "GET UP TRUTH!." She knew his nickname was Truth. So now she is cool in my book.

Needless to say we stayed out way to late that night, drinking beer, telling storeys of yester year, and all in all just having a good time. The Bars closed at 2 am, and I will still there. Fuck. I have to work in 6 hours. Ahh what every, It was a fun night.

So the next morning came early, and like most mornings after I drink, I was slow getting to work, but not feeling as bad as I could have. The morning was fine, as result of the conversation I wrote on here that was going on between two of the guys I work with. The conversation lasted all day.

I get off work at 5, roll to the house with the full expectation of taking a nap. Come on I only had 5 hours of sleep or so. So that's what I did. I napped for about an hour or so, till I got hungry and wanted to get something to eat. I howled at the Bear and we went to a buddy's house to help him work in his kick ass back yard. We hung lights, and worked on a sink for his out door bar, drank beers and played some water basketball.

Which brings me to another point, I am the Wilt Champerland of Water Basketball. I rule. I can't be stopped. I have a respectable shot, great pool vision, and am so damn dominate in the paint that the only thing the bear could try and do is bear hung me, and I still made the shot.

ANYWAY, The full day had me looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday. So I did. After some conversing with my apartment people, which was surprisingly smooth, I went to the Rents house to hang out with my Dad help them out around the house.

All of this lead up to this important news. I am awesome.

That's it, just wanted you guys to know.

(Disappointed with how much you had to read to get to that stupid point? Think how much we were when we watched an hour and half of the Belmont Coverage for a two and half minute race, where Big Brown didn't win. I want those hours back.)

Friday, June 6, 2008

Who am I and what am I doing here?



Hello, my name is Brown. You might remember me from such blogs as "MySpace: dearth of a nation, scourge of society" and "Human! The undiscovered white meat"

I used to write about fun musings and quips about observational life. I'd regale readers with stories about things I encountered. When Big and I started this thing, I decided my main focus would be sports.

Well, I'm about to get non sportsy on you.

Blog readers. Texas. America. World. I have something to tell you: I don't care.

Do I care how you feel about that? No. Why? Because, I don't care.

Almost everyone that knows me seems to understand that. Those that don't like to pretend that I care about things. Here's the secret, I don't.

Given the option of spending time with someone who wants me to give a damn about things or trying to masturbate to two Japanese women vomiting on each other, I'd say hand me the Jergens and tell Hiroki to stuff her finger down her mouth. Why? Besides the fact I love bulemic Asian women, it's simple, I don't care to make someone else think that I give a damn.

I spend my day working, sleeping and shitting, not necessarily in that order. I don't have the time to worry about other people be they friends, family or dead hookers, again, not necessarily in that order.

Now, sure, I do care about things. Those things are all self-centric. Is that egotistical? Probably. Do I care? No.

I also care about nachos. I love nachos. Can't get enough of them.

What I'm trying to say is this. Unless it pertains to me or directly affects me and my person, you might as well be talking to a wall. Am I listening? Nope. I'm actually sitting there wondering what I would do if I walked in on Sam Cassell cuddling with Vernon Maxwell in a Santa Claus suit. Why? I have no idea.

"But, Brown, we have to sit here and listen/read your thoughts and feelings! That's not fair. Why should we care?"

Exactly how the fuck do I know or why the fuck should I care? Tell me where it's written that life is fair or that I should give a damn.

I'm busy with things, and I can't post every day. Big's funny. Big cares. Big loves you. Enjoy that and quit bitching to me.



(None of the above was true, I actually do care)



(Not really, the part about nachos was true.)



(Asian women too)


(Not really)



(Really)

Shades of grey with good and evil

So, my day job is working as a machine tech and div head of an image company, I work in the back room/ware house. The two guys I work with are older black guys, one runs lamination, the other shipping. Anthony is a early 40's guy who loves women. Don is a mid 50's old school player with a good heart. This is the conversation that the two have been having all morning, about how Don thinks Anthony should keep with his wife, and not worry so much about having a girl friend. Anthony thinks the wife is a good time, but is more like a partner than an object of love. Here are some excepts from their conversation, thought yall might enjoy it. They are completly serial, and at time heated. Totally Serial.

This is about an hour into the conversation when Don is talking about if you want sex, just go pay for it, and then go spend your time with the wife.

D -I don't want to meet your kids, or your sister or your kids, Hell i don't even want to know you have kids. A, 100 dollars on the floor and your walking away with something

a - not you, they will smell your family ass before you walk in the door,

d- I'm happy with just find a bunch of hoes and just pick me one out, tear her ass up for 5 min, and then go home to the wife.

a - that's all your old ass can take

d - i might die if i go longer

a - that's what my girl friends for

d - but that's not your Wife, that's not what you share your like with

a - you ten years, maybe in ten years I'll feel that way

d - maybe, but think about if you started now, how much further you would be ten years from now.

a - but I'm paying off everything, waiting to when i can not do anything in ten years.

d - ten years you may not have anything you got now

a - why do you need the wife to complete you

d - because i'm not complete without them, i enjoy the companionship,

a - what is companionship,

d - when me and the wife are sitting outside, and the wind is blowing

a - that's companionship right there

d - and we can just sit there and be, and not worry about anything

a - get a dog

d - god damn Anthony,

d - sounds like you just need a dog.

I might chim in later with more, but this such a great conversation i couldn't pass on typing some.

On a side note

Over the past 8 months or so that we have had this little blog, we have really enjoyed doing what we do. We don't really think of ourselves as big time, or even middle time to be honest, but talking sports is what me and Brown do, now we just do it here for you guys to read.

One of the websites that got us into the whole "blogging" idea was Deadspin. Brown found it over a year ago(a little late, but that's our style), and tipped me off to it.

It was the first website that talked about sports like I talk about sports to my friends. We make jokes, we get heated, we find it genius that Rex Grossmen truly is the Sex Cannon. Its from this site that I found all my other sites that you see to your right, and that I visit at least seventeen times a day.

I say all this because the founder and chief editor of Deadspin, Will Leitch, is leaving Deadspin as an editor, to work at a real news paper in New York.

Now he will still write for the site, but he no longer will control it. So to a true great in the world of blogging, We at the Big and Brown, Respect.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Sports Flash

We are going to scatter shoot a little this morning.

-Of all the anti spurs stuff, I think these guys got it best. There is no real reason for the hatred, yet i still do.

- Speaking of basketball, I couldn't have said it better, Paul Peirce is the key to the finials.

- TO, the rich get richer. But do you really want to give an older WR 4 years?

-Now your lying fake crying, Greg Ellis is still a bitch in my book

-Man, now I have to get creative when I make fun of my buddy for like liking the broncos, Travis Henry got cut. There goes the easy "pot smoking" jokes, as well as the "super sperm gives him an extra step" jokes as well. Thanks.

Lastly here is a video that suggests that the Kimbo slice fight was fixed.


But please read this guys take as to why it wasn't

Monday, June 2, 2008

The WWE goes Extreme

For those of you who dislike our fondness of professional wrestling, you can skip this post, but I wanted to say a few things about last nights WWE PPV, One Night Stand.

This is my third favorite PPV of the year, behind the Royal Rumble, and of course, Wrestlemania. The "thing" about the One Night Stand PPV, is it was designed for when the WWE bought out Extreme Championship Wrestling, a promotion that is known for being, well, extreme. They bought it a few years ago, and introduced ECW to the WWE fans with a ECW PPV, one night stand, that showcased the ECW wrestlers getting all bloody and shit against the normal WWE guys. A good concept. Nowadays the ECW that was before the WWE bought it, is long dead, and is repaced by a "minor league" of sorts for the WWE. The Tuesday night show sucks, and is a "proving ground" for up and coming wrestlers for the most part. So the whole ECW One Night Stand is no longer.

But the spirit is still alive as all the matches last night were some kind of Extreme Rules matches. We had a First Blood Match, a Stretcher match, a Falls count anywhere, and a Last man standing. I won't go play by play or even match by match of last night as I know that you don't want to read it, but I wanted to point out a few cool things that went down.

- Shawne Merrymen(I know that's not how you spell it, but i think its funny)(go fuck yourself), Linebacker for the Whales Vagina Chargers was there, and even got involved by hitting someone with a kendo stick. Its so much fun to watch 2 serriored up guys go all crazy with a kendo stick.

-Randy Orton, the company's top Heel(bad guy) got tossed out of the ring last night during his last man standing match, and broke his collar bone. Not like "broke" like he needs a vacation, broke like you could see the damn thing sticking out. He won't be wrestling for awhile. or raising his left hand. Interesting thing about this is the ref was miked up during the match so everybody could he count to 10(last man standing match), so you could hear the exchange between the two wrestlers and and the ref. Highlighted by HHH saying "go for the RKO," then Orton getting tossed outside and saying "Fuck, I Broke my collar Bone."

and one more note, I know that HHH wanted to end the match with his trade mark Sledgehammer last night, but when a guy breaks something, just let him get counted out, you don't have to go pick him up, find the hammer, hit him, and then let the ref count him out.

-Lastly the main event last night had Edge vs the Undertaker in a Table Ladders and Chairs match. That would have been a good match no matter what, but then they threw in the stipulation that if the Undertaker loses, he has to leave WWE. Now the Undertaker has been a top guy in the show for over 15 years, and nobody thought he would lose last night, but he did. Still nobody thinks this will be the end for him, as he is only 44, and we saw flair wrestler for another 10 years after that.

Still if that was the end to the Undertaker, we here at the Big and Brown, will pour out a little bit of our 40 for ya.

-

MMA was this close

Over the weekend, quite a big of sports happened. The NBA finials are going to be LA v Boston, the Rangers got over .500 and then dropped back down to it, and the WWE had one of my favorite PPV's of the year. All those great things were put on the back burner for me because Mixed Martial Arts was taking a giant step, and premiering on network TV for the first time, on CBS, Saturday night.

This wasn't a 2AM special, or a noon start on a Thursday; this was 8:00 pm, sat night, live from Jersey.

I've been a strong to quite strong MMA fan since the days of Hoyce Gracie and Tank Abbot, and have been following it since. I'm not a die hard like some of my friends, but over the past 5 years I've seen the sport go from a side show like mentality to a legit sporting contest, with the rise of the UFC. Stars like Ken Shamrock, Tito Ortiz, Chuck Lidell, and George Saint-Perrier have brought the sport a long from its "freak show" start.

The next step in the evolution is the expose it to as many people as possible. UFC did a fine job of this with the move to Spike TV, and the advent to the Ultimate fighter, a program that features up and coming MMA guys trying to break into the UFC.

The UFC has also done a good job at staying away from the "freak show" like competitors that would for sure garner a quick PPV sale, but in the aspect of legitimizing the sport, take them back a few years.

There were rumblings around the MMA fan sites that a major network was thinking about putting MMA on a prime time slot and seeing what would happen. Everybody thought this would be a fantastic idea as long as it was the UFC, far and away the best promotion in MMA, but more than likely due to the owner of UFC being a money hungry a hole, CBS went with Elite XC, a fighting promotion I knew little about other than they have shows on Showtime.

The next step for MMA and CBS to have a good showing was to get a Star in MMA to headline the first show. The problem is, if you are a star in MMA, your already in the UFC. Enter Kimbo Slice. A 34 year old former homeless person, who is a youtube superstar for his backyard brawls, and body guard for the porn site bangbrothers(i think). In the MMA world this guy is not highly thought of. He has lead hands, sure, but MMA is much much more than heavy hands and a solid jaw.

Non the less Kimbo was perfect for this Match. He was a name that people knew, and he would get the non MMA fan to watch because you never knew when this guy would pop off and kill a guy with his fists. So you get your star to go against a guy he should be able to beat(thompson) and hope Kimbo knocks his head off early.

Step 2 for the night is put a fight right before the Kimbo Slice match that would be a true MMA fight, between 2 good performers, and have it be one hell of a match. That's where the Lawler vs Smith match comes in. Lawler was made famous a few years ago as a hard hitting star of UFC. He is now a little older but still one hell of a fighter.

Lastly, you want to put on the card some matches that will either A)set up future bouts(Rodgers vs. Murphy) B) separate yourself from UFC(the girl fight Carano vs Young) or C)pray from knockouts.

EliteXC was this close to having all those thing work out on Saturday.

The first 3 matches went perfectly. Rodgers opened the show with a knockout and stayed undefeated, and will set up for a nice Rodgers vs Kimbo fight in the near future.

Fight 2 saw another early knock out that was exciting, and the third fight was the chick fight. The hot chick and face of women MMA won and did so in style with the first round of trading blows and then getting the stoppage when Carono hit Young so damn hard in the left eye it swole shut.

Fight 3 was the Lawler(son of Jerry the King) vs. Smith. Now this fight needed to be good. This was the traditional MMA fight between two legit MMA guys. No gimmicks, just good MMA. And it was

For 2 1/2 rounds. Then Smith got poked in the eye inadvertently. And the fight was stopped. What was a war between these two guys, and it was exciting and explosive, and fun to watch, as all the action took place standing up, was over with the blink or should i say poke, of an eye. Neither fighter wanted to stop. The crowd wanted to see a winner. I was yelling at the screen, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria.

Not good for EliteXc, not good for MMA. Stopping a GREAT fight like that. For shame.

So now it was time for Kimbo to kill someone. Only he didn't. He got taken to the ground early and often. Thompson tryed to turn this into a MMA fight. Who does he think he is? Didn't he know that he was supposed to lose to Kimbo in like 30 seconds? Don't take him to ground where you can probably beat him.

But that's what Thompson did, and to Kimbo's credit, he held his own. He did just enough to stay alive and in the third round we all got what we wanted, when one of Kimbos tree trunk like fist's literally exploded thompson's ear. While not the knockout they needed, a knockout none the less.

So the night was a good one, but not really what they hoped for. They were this close to really showing what MMA was all about, but then came up just short. If the Lawler Smith fight would have been finished, and Kimbo not looked so beatable, this thing would have taken off.

But today, most sports guys are saying how they just don't get it. And its sad. MMA was this close. Maybe next time.

Thoughts from Gate B34 at DFW

Right now, I am sitting next to the craziest old coot ever. She is reading a manual for a BlackBerry and ever so often, she blurts out a comment to no one in particular. Things like "she never calls me" or "that's a small plane" or "I'm gonna shower when I get home". I'm the only person sitting here and...I hate people.

-Kimbo Slice...yawn.

-Josh Hamilton a.k.a Max Damage (greatest. nickname. ever) is Mike Young and Mark Teixeira in one person. A likeable guy that can be the face of the organization who just happens to be the tooled player for Arlington.

-Tank Johnson is asking Roger Goodell to reinstate Pacman. Yup, I've got nothing.

-Lakers and Celtics. Admit it, its the matchup you were hoping for. Kobe and KG. Who's the x-factor? Paul Pierce for Boston and Derek Fisher (no, not the lisping Spaniard) for LA.

-Big Brown races to history this weekend. Don't think we won't be watching.

-Enjoy the week.