I know its a day early, but since i'm sure nobody really reads this anyway, I had some time this christmas eve so here you go. The Playoff Picture is getting much more clear now. 1-5 is set for the most part in both confereces. 3 teams still alive in the NFC, and 2 for the AFC for the last spot. Good Stuff.
So here is the list, again this is based on how well these teams would fair against a pissed off NYC sewer alligator, who is wearing a bad hair piece, that you just made fun of. Yea, he's pissed.
The Opps I crapped my pants Tier
32. Atlanta Falcons 3 12 – Wow, this team just keeps getting kicked in the nuts. Let’s recap their year. There starting pro bowl QB gets put in jail, There next 2 QB’s go down with either Injury or Suckatude, star CB goes off on everybody from Coach to teammates, coach quits, and then now they lose their first choice of President of Football Operations in Big Bill. One thing I can take out of all this, they will take a QB in the draft, but may not be Brain Brohm anymore.
31. Miami Dolphins 1 14 - And Back to suck.
30. New York Jets 3 12 - They keep playing with some “heart.” No that’s not a good word, how about “moxy.” That doesn’t work either. Hmmm, how about “purpose?” Fuck it I’m out.
29. Kansas City Chiefs 4 11 - And way to lose to Detroit. Good stuff.
28. Baltimore Ravens 4 11 - You just got smoked by Seattle, and they say Billick is staying? Out of all the coaches, this is the one I think should go.
27. St. Louis Rams 3 12 - they hung in there until the very end against a pretty good Pitt team.
And Next Year Will Be Different Tier (no, it probably wont)
26. Oakland Raiders 4 11 - Jam Jam was 7-23 with 3 picks. It’s early, but that is bad.
25. San Francisco 49ers 5 10 Shawn Hill (who?) played pretty well, and this team may not be as bad as I thought they were. I’m still rooting for a win for them this week so the Pats get a lower pick.
24. Carolina Panthers 6 9 Def is good, and Matt Moore might have something, but this team is going to take a wash until Jake gets back.
The Teams that could be better next year
23. Denver Broncos 6 8 - Play’s tonight, but they are still on that QB needs to take the next step tier.
22. Chicago Bears 6 9 - That’s the Bears team that we thought we would see this year. Go get you some Neck Beard!
21. Detroit Lions 7 8 - Nothing gets the mojo back better than a visit from the former Texans!
20. Cincinnati Bengals 6 9 - This has got to be the most puzzling team in the league. They played a pretty good game, with a nice defensive effort, against a nice little Browns team. If they don’t make a run next year, it might be time to blow it up.
The teams I can't really figger out.
19. Houston Texans 7 8 - I really wanted this team to play better vs. an emotionless, no meaning having, Colts team.
18. Buffalo Bills 7 8 - they really had a shot to take some momentum into next year with a strong last few weeks. Instead, they got worked by what looks like an average NY team.
17. Arizona Cardinals 7 8 - That’s the Gun-slinging, let’s make it happen “O” I’ve been looking for! Way to make it happen after I’m out of the Playoffs, thanks.
16. Philadelphia Eagles 7 8 - I called for McNugget’s out, now I don’t know. This team is on that edge of older people with the window closing. They either need to make a few moves and try and sell the thing out next year, or blow it up.
Last NFC Playoff teams
15. New Orleans Saints 7 8 - they really had a shot to make this a fun last weekend, but they lost and now they need both Minnesota, and Washington to lose next week.
14. Minnesota Vikings 8 7 - Once the Skin’s got a little lead, and could gamble with one on one coverage outside, they put like 9 guys in the box to stop A.D. And Travis couldn’t make em pay for it.
13. Washington Redskins 8 7 - Great game plan for Old Gibbs, and let me say, Todd Collins? 22-29 254 and 2 TD’s? Really?
Last AFC Playoff Teams
12. Tennessee Titans 9 6 – Yes, the Jets are playing better, but come on, all you could muster was 10 points? And VY doesn’t even really run anymore, man is anybody going to be the cover of madden this year?
11. Cleveland Browns 9 6 - Come on, don’t make the Cowboys pick a late rounder, and then NOT make the playoffs. COME ON!
The I Can't beleive that one of these teams will be in the second round of the Playoffs Tier
10. New York Giants 10 5 - they showed me a little something this week. You know what it was? Brandon Jacobes can play, Eli can’t.
9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 9 6 - Story of this game, Graham 9 rush 21 yards, Bennett 5 rush 16 yards. Nice.
Scary Teams, but they could also get the shit kicked out of them.
8. Pittsburgh Steelers 10 5 - They needed a nice win, and they got it. Then they got some good luck with Cle loosing. I still don’t think this team can beat Jacksonville.
7. Seattle Seahawks 10 5 - Very quietly making a strong push forward, getting healthy, and getting ready for the playoffs. Going to be fun to watch this team go to Green Bay in a few weeks.
The Got a Real Shot at the Winning in the Playoffs Tier.
6. San Diego Chargers 9 5 – I am putting this team in this tier if assuming they win tonight, but if they don’t then they are just below the Steelers. Like the Seahawks, this team is ready to make some noise.
5. Jacksonville Jaguars 11 4 – Here is how it will go down, If Jacksonville plays NE, they could beat them, but they won’t beat Indy.
4. Green Bay Packers 12 3 – Thank you Bears! One thing though, Ryan Grant might be legit.
3. Indianapolis Colts 13 2 - Could Marvin play this week? If he comes back and gets them to the championship game, that will be one of the coolest stories of the year.
2. Dallas Cowboys 13 2 – A win is a win, and this once means that they can rest some people next week. They will need that with TO going down.
The Best Ever, at least regular season.
1. New England Patriots 15 0 And, they are going to do it. No doubt about it.
There you go, a little Christmas eve NFL. Sex Me.