Friday, January 23, 2009

A letter I wrote, in the third grade

We all know I can't spell worth a damn, just to prove I've always been that way, here is a paper I wrote in the third grade.

so not only was I a bad speller, i was a prophet as well.

And just like that, Simmons reminds people why he's the best in the business

Look, I'm a Bill Simmons apologist. Even when he got into his really bad overly-Boston centric writing and nothing existed beyond the Red Sox, Patriots and Celtics. Even when he couldn't get past his own cliched writing about the Karate Kid.

However, his latest article has nothing to do with sports, and it could be one of the best things I've read by him.

It's not really funny, but if you've ever had a dog growing up or have a dog now that is pretty much family to you...well, you can relate to the article.


Yeah, call me a sucker for sentimental articles about dogs, but...well...yeah.

Really Jerry?

Yea, Dallas Cowboys to star in new Training Camp Reality Contest.

The "always right" Mike Irvin will host a training camp contest to award the last spot on the Cowboys roster. Yea, lets not let the Head Coach pick his assistant coaches, or the type of offence/deffense he runs, now lets not even let him pick his full team.

And you expect player to respect you coaches.....HA!

GMV - Funny Friday

Its Friday, I'm bringing the Funny. Would you like to see Pablo Francisco mixed with some crazy ass Japanese cartoons? Yes, Yes I would.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Wait, who are you again?

The NFL is great, right? If you have been following our site through the ages, you know I love me some NFL draft. It's my favorite non sports sporting event of the year. By a mile.

To my dismay, the Cowboys don't have a first round draft pick(yet), so it makes looking through drafts boards not so much fun. But have no fear, sexy readers, That's where I com in. Through out the off season you can check back at TB&TB for a little draft love on the boys. I'll bring you a few names ever so often that I see come up in draft boards, and let you know a little bit about them.

Michael Hamlin, S Clemson
Bio from CSTV

has started 30 games in the last three years, Second-Team All-ACC by AP/ACSMA,, and in 2007, has seen his tackle total rise each year from 55 to 64 to 97, has a combined 29 tackles in the last two bowl games, including 15 in the 2006 Music City Bowl and 14 in the 2007 Chick-fil-A Bowl, second-team All-American and #2 strong safety in the nation by Phil Steele.

Patrick Chung SS Oregon
Bio from GoDucks.

Utilizes speed and outstanding feel for the game to emerge as a solid cover defender as well as a great tackler. Possesses the flexibility to start at any one of four slots in the secondary, yet coaches prefer to leave him at rover in order to take greatest advantage of his knack as a playmaker. Clocked as program’s second-fastest player (4.56 40) following his redshirt freshman year and peaked with a 297-lb. bench press.

Rashad Johnson S, Alabama
Bio from NFLDraftScout

13 GP; 13 GS; 57 Sol-94 TT, 5.5 TFL, 1 SK, 6 INT, 8 PBU, 2 QBH, 1 FF, Named 2007 Team Captain and earned UA's Co-Defensive Player of the Year honors, Rated number 4 out of 107 FS's

Emmanuel Cook S, South Carolina
Bio from Fantasy Football Junkie.

Pros: Is one of the hardest-hitting safties in the NCAA. Has the ability to stop runningbacks and receivers behind the line of scrimmage. Will be able to run with NFL receivers. Cons: Doesn't always wrap up his tackles. May not always come down with a jump ball. Overall: Cook can make his presence in the NFL as a starter or on special teams. Is an all-around good athlete. Will be a good addition to any team.

so there is a jumpoff with some safety's that will probably be there when the Boys have their first pick in the 09 Draft.

And Tom Hicks takes the lead.

Am I Really About to Say This?

I can't believe I'm about to say this, it hurts every bone in my body, every being of my soul wants to smack me in the face and say "what you talkin' about white boy," (i know its strange that I feel my soul is an old black guy), but I have come to the conclusion that..........

Tom Hicks is the best owner in Dallas right now.

I can barley type that with out my hands shaking worse than Michael J. Fox popping some no doze while coming off a two week crack binge.

Still, I think it's true. Let me try and explain it.

For the longest time, people have thought half of the ownership group of our fare mextroplex's sports teams, The Cowboys and Mavericks, have "do anything to win" owners who will......well, do anything to win.

While the Rangers and Stars have an old "money first" blue blooded shill as an owner. And Its been long thought of that this is the way it will always be. I can't count the times that I myself have said, "If only Tom Hicks(owner of the Rangers and Stars) would open his pocketbook and bring in players, this team could be something." It would take more than my and and feet to count, I will say.

But over the past two years, something has changed. Something has gone terribly wrong.

When you think of Jerry Jones, you think of the meddling owner with a desire to do anything in his power to win superbowls, yet this team hasn't won a playoff game in over a 10 years.

When you think of Mark Cuban, you think of a in your face owner who sits court side, loves his team, and will do anything he can to make the Mav's the best team in the NBA, yet they have gone in a span of 3 years from choking away(with a little help from the refs) a world title to losing in the first round of the playoffs the last two years, to now being not even guaranteed a playoff spot come may.

So what's the problem here? If these two coaches want so badly to win, and will do anything to win, why arn't they winning?

In the case of Jerry Jones, in his heart of hearts, it isn't about just winning, its about proving to everybody that he can win without anybody else getting the credit. If you were to ask Jerry Jones what he wants more, to be the GM of the Cowboys or win a Superbowl, he has proven though his actions its the former. If you look at his record, trades, drafts and over all running of the team over the past 15 years(since Jimmy left), the cowboys themselves haven't been any better than a team like the lowly Lions. They have been more often at the bottom of the standings than at the top, and have 2 good runs (bills first year, and last year), but have still failed to win a playoff game.

The only constant here is Jerry. If a restaurant has bad cook, It doesn't matter how good the ingredients are, or where the restaurant is, or how hot the staff is, if your cook is bad, the restaurant will fail. So Jerry can bring in more TO's, more Packman's and more first round draft picks, but until he realises the cook is why the food sucks, the Cowboys might be doomed for more years like this, than like last.

With Mark Cuban, the same problems are there, but for different reasons. Where Jerry it is pride and desire to prove that he can do it all by himself, Cuban's problem steams from how close he is to the team he owns. Its no secret that Cuban loves his team, and by loving the team he has developed personal relationships with his players, and thus, will over pay and over value them.

His latest statement, and I'm pretty sure I'm not messing this one up, is "I'm not trading Josh." Its not "I'm not trading Howard" or even "Josh Howard," but simply Josh. Josh has been here almost as long as Cuban, and was a big part of the Mav's return to glory, so its easy to see why Cuban would have an emotional attachment to him, but that isn't always the best thing when it come to running a team. Its that whole bit of you don't want to have your friends work underneath you, because it makes it hard to fire your friends, even when they deserve it, or in this case, is better for the company.

And This brings us to the other owner of sports teams in the Metroplex, the oft hatted Tome Hicks, the guy would if a poll was taken today, would be the least liked owner of a sports team in Dallas by a large margin.

But why?

Tom Hicks has made no secret that owning a sports team hardly anything more than a money making venture to him. He's not a big fan of the sports, or at least he doesn't seem to be. He won't knee jerk and make a big splash like signing TO, or get in front of a camera and bash the referees of last nights game.

What he will do is find a person who know the sport of the team he owns, put them in charge of player/personal, and let this person, or in the stars case persons, make the decisions that they feel are right and best for his teams. Now granted, he does this with a very strict budget in mind, and the end results that he wants isn't trophy's, but large bank accounts. Still, he finds smart baseball people like John Daniels and Nolan Ryan, and then steps away to let them work. If the team doesn't make any money, he gets rid of them and trys something else.

He has allowed John Daniels to make moves with the roster of the Rangers. At first they didn't look so good, (Young, Gonzalez) but now he has built one of the best farm system's in all of baseball.

He has allowed Brett Hull of the Stars come to him and say "we need to get nastier on the ice, so let go get Sean Avery," and they did. AND THEN when it became obvious that Avery wasn't the answer, but a GIGANTIC locker room cancer, Hull told Hicks they had to cut him, and Hicks said yes.

Now, if any of these moves lead to the Ranger or Stars not making any money, believe it that Hicks will find replacements for everybody.

So Which owner is the truly the best?

The "I'll do anything to win as long as its my way, and I'm in charge" Jerry Jones.

The "I put so much into this team, i can't let go of the friends that I have made on it" Mark Cuban.

Or the "I'm going to find smart people, put them in charge, yet give them a tight budget to work with" Tom Hicks.

I'm giving (gulp!) the nod to Hicks.
Now I need to go take a shower to wash off all this shame.

GMV - Back to sports

Because Shaq is right, that jacket was horawfull, and brown wants to have sex with Kobe too, the best "worst interviews" of all time.

A quick hit list to end all quick hit lists

Not much time for blogging this week, so here's a quick hit list of things for you...

-The Mavs aren't going to trade Josh Howard. Yes, it makes sense, but Mark Cuban loves these guys and he drafted Howard, so he won't trade him. That Diop trade for Carroll and Hollins however, could spell the end of the JET as they might trade the man who's got the highest value outside of Dirk.

-"Lost", you had me at the first plot twist and you'll never lose me. "Fringe" on the other hand, I'm still on the fence about. "Leverage" is the best show on television that no one is watching.

-The Rangers lost Eric Hurley for 2009 (unless they make the playoffs, HAHAHA!). He was going to be a rotation guy, probably 4th or 5th starter. Now? Well. Um. They did sign Omar Visquel to a minor league contract in case the Elvis Andrus experiment fails. You know, the 41 year old utility man? Anyone? God I hate this team.

-People who are saying that because Arizona made the Super Bowl is the reason why college football shouldn't have a playoff system are searching for something to use as ammo.

-Mike Vick is due to be released in a few months. PETA is, once again, asking Goodell to provide a "full psychiatric examination" before allowing him back into the league. Now, I've never been to jail, but I'm going to assume that the prison system will do that profile before releasing him into, you know, society. This ain't Shawshank.

-Troy Aikman called out Tony Romo for thinking that perception doesn't matter because "perception is everything". If Tony doesn't listen to Troy, a man who had to deal with Skip Bayless and a Randy Galloway at his prime, then there is no hope for the little douchebag that could.

-If you haven't started to watch "Friday Night Lights" yet, this is a good season to start. Take it from me, that's what I did.

I love you all.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

GMV - Nude Music Friday

I'm going to try and bring you sweet sexy readers some new music every week. This week, a M.C. named Asher Roth. He's a white guy from Pennsylvania. He hates it when people compare him to Eminem, but lets be honest, he sounds alot like Em's silly shit. He's not quite as violent, more of a deep thinker, with lyrics and rhymes that have more meaning than most.

Here is his first shot at a single from what I can gather. Its called I love College, and its good.

Its a nice song, but to really get what this guys about I suggest you check out his mix tape, The Greenhouse Effect, which can be downloaded (for free!) at his website Here is a taste...

If you like rap music, give this guy a shot, he could get pretty big.


Website(pretty cool site)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

GMV - Do you smell what Barak is Cookin'?

So today is kind of a big day, huh?

While we don't talk politics on this site, i truly hope all the people of this nation can get behind our new leader and chief. the world of politico isn't immune to our "witty banter," however....

Monday, January 19, 2009

StarWars, from a chick

So this video has been sent to me about 15 times, so i doubt anybody hasn't seen it yet, but if you haven't, here's a bonus video of a girl giving the whole plot to star wars, in her own words.

Ohh and she hasn't ever seen the movies all the way through. Chicks are funny!

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Somthing to Titalate Chillingworth.

Got this off a rumor page at SI's Fan Nation site.

ESPN to get into broadcasting The Premier League in 2010. The Premiership is the NFL of soccer. Which is why Sir Arther might be peeing his pants right now.

Most disturbing info about that article, ESPN is planing on starting another network. Called ESPN America, where they are going to show English Soccer. I'm telling you, we are two steps away from the Ocho!

Hall of Fame....does this weekend make or break either QB?

Watching the games this weekend in the NFL, brown sent me a text, and i quote "I love you." Then he sent me one that changed the way I looked at my life, it was during the first half beatdown that the Cards were putting on the Eagles, and it read, "if warner pulls this Cinderella shit off, is he a Hall of Famer?"

My First reaction was, na, its Kurt Warner. Then I thought about it a second. 2 time MVP, super bowl MVP, lead two teams to the Superbowl, maybe he is.

That also got me thinking about the other QB in that game, and how much of a lock is Donovan McNabb at the HOF? Lets take a look.

Kurt Warner
Goods: 2 Time MVP, Superbowl XXXIV MVP and Winner, now taken 2 teams to the Superbowl, 3rd in all time career passer rating(min 1,500 att), second-most statistically accurate quarterback in NFL history.

Bad: System QB in some ways. Crazy ass wife. Only started double digit games in 6 of 11 seasons.

Result: After being only the second play to take 2 different teams to the Superbowl as a QB, he has to be in. I always kinda thought of him as a system QB in STL. A guy with a decent arm and decent ability in a pass happy system with good playmakers at the WR position. That said, his numbers can't be denied. IN.

Donovan McNabb

One of the better QB's of his generation has been to one superbowl, 5 NFC championships and owns just about every QB record in the Eagles organization. All those great things, and alot of people still look at him as a failer for not being able to bring home a championship to Philly.

This weekend was no different for him than the last 9 years really. At times he looked like the best player on the field, and at times he looked like the reason the eagles would lose the game.

Has there ever been a team that has been 1 player away from being elite in the history of the NFL as long as the Eagles have been? For the past 6 or 7 years, sands the year TO was there and happy, the Eagles and more importantly to this discussion, Donovan haven't had a true Number 1 WR. I will say this, I have never seen a pass happy offence like Philly look so good with 3 number 3 WR's as your top 3 WR's. (i think i might have confused myself right there).

So where Warner has had all the tools, all the good WR's and offensive coordinators, Donovan hasn't had any. So which one is the more likely candidate for the HOF? The guy who won with better talent, or the guy who almost won despite his lack of talent? You be the judge.


Can't have a day like today without the words of the late Dr. King.

Are we suposed to say "Happy MLK day," or perhaps "Merry MLK Day," or even just "GO MLK! WHOOOHHH!" Which ever way, there ya go.