Saturday, May 23, 2009

Have a good weekend.

Even Hitler is relaxing this weekend.

Have a good one from your portly blogger and suntanned superman.

Friday, May 22, 2009

See what you did!

Due to a certain grizzly like fellow, and his breaking of the baseball team here in Dallas. My good pal and writing buddy has decided to move to Nebraska.

And he's taking his cheese and water bottle full of Jager with him.

Way to go buddy. Way to go.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

One more reason to hate Robert Horry

First off, let me get this out of the way. Robert Horry is a giant fuck twat, and I hope he gets the same ass cancer that’s killing Farah Fawcett. 

Now that I read that this son of a bitch who’s done nothing but ride coattails his entire career and make a few 3 pointers has the nerve and temerity to lose his 7 championship rings, and laugh about it? 

I’m sorry, you giant cunt bucket.  Wasn’t it enough that you were the black Steve Kerr?  Now you’re going to rub it in the rest of the world’s face by claiming you really don’t care enough about winning titles that you might fancy taking more care of the rings?

Fuck you, Robert Horry.  Fuck you with a rake turned sideways.

Fellow Computer Dorks, meet your new desktop wallpaper…


Image Source : Gizmodo

How to confuse my writing buddy…

Big is, believe it or not, pretty hard to confuse.  Not that he’s got some higher observational IQ than others, normally if he senses a situation that will confuse him, he’ll extricate himself to go enjoy a cigarette. 

However, I think I’ve found the thing that will confuse him.

Big loves Barack Obama.  Loves him.  He’s black, he loves basketball and he’s a Democrat.  Forget the whole president thing, Big just needs these things.

Big’s also a big ol’ Catholic.  And, because he follows Catholic dogma, he’s immediately a Notre Dame football fan.  That, and he cried at the end of “Rudy”.

That’s when I came across this story.

Seems like Barack Obama hates Notre Dame football.

Ball’s in your court, Big. 

*cue the Honky Tonk Man

Will we get to see Pacquiao v. Mayweather?

Everyone is begging for these two guys to fight.  Some are even claiming that this could be the “savior of boxing”…not heavyweight boxing mind you (that hasn’t been really relevant since Lewis v Klitschko), but boxing as a sport against MMA.

See, Mayweather has been thought of as the best pound-for-pound fighter of his generation, and, what might be more important, he backed it up with the flair and panache that made people love to hate him.  How can you not kind of love a guy who said he fights for paychecks and doesn’t care about history or the sport?  

Then, Mayweather “retired”, and in came the Filipino wunderkind, Manny Pacquiao.

Manny is currently thought of as the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world, and he’s the complete opposite of Mayweather.  He appears humble, does it for the sport, loves his people and isn’t a very loud talking, glitzy person.

Mayweather is one of those deceptive fighters who’s quick, works the whole ring and either looks to tire out his opponent or tie them up in a corner and the he’ll unleash the quickest hands you’ve ever seen.  He’s more of a dancer then a puncher.

Pacquiao goes right at his opponents and puts on a punching demonstration that makes your arms tired.  He’ll punch his way out of a jam, and then continue to punch his opponent into submission.

After Pacquiao destroyed De La Hoya and Hatton, everyone immediately began to clamor for Pacquiao and Mayweather to fight…problem is the weight class difference.  Pacquiao fights in the low 140’s and Mayweather fights in the high 140’s and low 150’s.

Pacquiao’s camp doesn’t want to go above 147 for a Mayweather.  They did it for De La Hoya because Oscar was old and they knew Manny’s speed could take him.  Not the case with Mayweather. Mayweather’s camp feels that Floyd being Floyd is too good to meet another fighter’s demands and they won’t go below 147.  Also, Mayweather is going to demand a larger percentage of the purse.

So will we ever get to see the fight that everyone wants?   As the MIllion Dollar Man says…every man has their price.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Is this for real?

Because I’m on board the second they showed Cleveland hanging out with a Bear…it’s like my god damn life story.

This is only relevant to like 2 people

…but Thor is still a big queer.

Source: The Sugar Sheet

Dallas Cowboy Progress Report

The Mighty (and great) MJD over at The Shutdown Corner at Yahoo! has provided a lengthy and thorough Dallas Cowboy progress report, and I suggest you check it out.

Some highlights…

“If the Cowboys are going to have team t-shirts printed up with a slogan for the 2009 season, I'd like to suggest, "FORGET YOUR POPCORN." The era of popcorn needs to be over. It's time to usher in an era of just being a football team.”

“Recently, it seems like the Cowboys have been more of a general entertainment entity than an actual football team.”

“For now, though, I think the lack of headlines is progress enough. They've signed low-key guys who can contribute, I liked their volume approach to drafting, and they've done it all without being flashy or bringing distractions upon themselves.”

Phil Mickelson’s wife has breast cancer.

I’m not sure I’m going to slap God in the face here and make a joke…but you can put two and two together regarding Lefty, breasts and cancer.

Mike Vick got released from prison today…now what?

So, if you haven’t heard, everyone’s favorite dog fightin’ quarterback was released from prison at midnight this morning and will server the remaining 2 months of his sentence under a house arrest condition.   Then he’s on probation for 3 years. 

So, now what?

Well, in the short term, he’s going to be working a $10/hr construction job to earn wages (and get back into shape).

What does this mean for his football career?  Is it over forever?  Is he going to get reinstated?  If he does, will anyone sign him?

Here’s what I don’t get.  Why is he not being, at least somewhat, forgiven? 

I’m a dog lover.  Really, I am.  And I can’t begin to imagine how fucked up in the head someone has to be to fight dogs.  But, the man was forced to relinquish his career and assets and has served 2 years in federal prison.  I’d like to think he’s learned a lesson and has paid his debt. 

Forget my abhorrence towards PETA.  I’m an animal lover, but hearing PETA stories and people makes me want to kick a box of kittens around their office while eating stake and wearing a mink banana hammock. 

I’ve been rambling all around here, but I’m wondering where the fury is over Leonard Little who killed PEOPLE while driving drunk and has gotten another DUI since, yet is still in the league?   Where’s the fury around Donte Stallworth who killed a PERSON this offseason while driving drunk?  Ray Lewis stabbed a man to death and he’s lauded as the NFL’s reverend replacement for Reggie White?  Jamal Lewis went to jail for selling cocaine and we’re all good with that?

I’m not bringing up a point regarding the league’s and media’s hypocrisy that hasn’t been brought up before.   However, if a team wants to sign Mike Vick to a contract, they should be allowed to do so without having to think, “boy what’s PETA going to do to us?” and “what’s the media going to do to us?”   At least not if MADD and the media aren’t going to protest Browns and Rams camps all summer.

We can point at Michael Vick and say he’s a bad man.  That’s easy.  But I’m not convinced that the same finger needs to be pointed at PETA and media-types who are just as guilty for sidewalk proselytizing and crucifying the man.

/dick joke

See what you did!?!

Look what you did!

We warned you about Jinxing them, didn't we? But NoooooooOOoo, you had to plug your site! "Come on over to my side of the internet," he said, "I'm talking about them" he said.

You know what this means right?

It's bear season bitch!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Everybody's doing it!

I don't know what has been in the air the last few weeks, maybe its a side effect of the swine flu, but either my overly horny self is seeking it out, or there have been a lot of famous people getting naked recently.

I love hot naked women, so i thought you sexy reader might as well.

NOTE! All links are NSFW! You have been warned.

Gwyneth Paltrow


Mary-Louise Parker . The mom from weeds. So, so great.

jessica biel.

and because everybody else is doing it...Me

SO there you go. Hope this makes up for lack of posts recently.


Monday, May 18, 2009

Why aren’t we talking about [NAME REDACTED]?

It’s simple.  Both Big and I are HUGE believers in the jinx factor. 

We ain’t sayin’ shit until we feel it’s safe.