Thursday, September 11, 2008

Oh yeah, I forgot

See, with the offseason nonsense and celebrity nonsense and his retarded, large mammaried girlfriend, I forgot something.

We'd all have sex with him also if we had the chance.

Big's Caption Contest

So since brown is out of town, and only posting a few times, I saw this pic and thought it would be perfect for his "beat my caption" contest, where the winner gets nothing.

Its cool, he's got an ulcer!


I was still in college, woke up around 9:30, took a shower. Dressed, grabbed my bag and walked out of my room. In the living area were 2 of my 3 roommates, sitting on the couch, watching TV. I don't like to talk much in the morning so I'm sure some kind of "whats up" was said by me, but they just kept watching. I grabbed a pop tart, strawberry i believe, and turn to walk out the door. One of the roommates said, "school's cancelled." It was at that time I saw the TV. and didn't leave from in front of it for about 4 hours. In an need to escape, i walked around our apartment complex for a while after that. I'll never forget that day.

We don't talk politics on this site. But something as big as this day, 7 years ago, should never be forgoten. It has shaped all of our lives over the past 7 years, and for the rest of it, not just the people lost, but to everyone, because we all lost something.

Coming up next, your local news....except on the west coast.

Few random thoughts while I've been on the road this week...

-I'm tired of hearing about hurricanes. The drink, Miami U, Ike, Katrina, Shane Helms. I'm tired of them all. That being said, if I get home and find a tree lodged in my roof, I'm gonna kill someone.

-Saw "I Now Prounounce You Chuck and Larry" on HBO last night while working in the hotel room. Maybe it's because I'm in Northern California, but that was a pretty funny movie. I was especially appreciative of a close to nude Jessica Biel, yet extremely pissed that Sandler got to feel that up. Kevin James? Funny.

-I hate first week snap judgements on the NFL.

-The Bills are going to the Super Bowl.

-Vince Young can murder, piss on AND THEN rape a dog's corpse and still be a hero to Texas fans. Quit asking me how I feel about him bordering on crazy.

-Why is Warren Sapp still relevant?

-Why isn't Chris Collinsworth given the credit he deserves as the best analyst in all of football. I want that guy to analyze how I make and eat oatmeal in the morning. I'm pretty sure I'll have a better raisin to oat ratio because of it. Yes, I eat oatmeal in the morning. It keeps me regular.

-Hampton Inn. Formerly frowned upon by Brown. Now? His business hotel of choice right behind Hilton Garden Inn.

-I find the Dr. Lou segments on ESPN to be mildly amusing. Right below watching a fat chick do crunches and right above watching a fat chick sloppily devour eat chicken wings.

-Apparently I happen to randomly observe fat women a lot.

-The Dodge Avenger might sound like a cool car, however, it's a fucking Dodge and you are reminded of that every time you hear the extra crank just to start the engine.

-Sports Radio outside of Dallas, TX is an abomination on the ears.

-Mike Nolan sounds like he might be 80 years old.

-Berkley makes Texas look like Liberty University on the liberal students on campus scale.

-I also managed to catch the VMA's this year. Not only do I feel old and out of touch with what the hell is going on in the world of today's youth, but I'd like to form a personal crusade to remove the following people from ever being mentioned again: The Jonas Brothers, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Fall Out Boy, MTV, anyone on the Hills or shows like it, fuck it just anyone who still cares about MTV.

-I did, though, enjoy Kanye West's performance of "Love Locked Down". Understated, yet a reminder that he might be the best in the game right now.

-The Tampa Bay DevilRays are for real.

-If the Diamondbacks are sliding with the pitching they have, then I'm not sure there is ever gonna be hope for the Rangers.

I'm out.

Not everybody is a "winner" anymore

I don't know if you guys have been following this whole Vince Young drama. Lets get you caught up to speed if you haven't.

After a subpar year last year(Madden Jinx!), Young briefly thought about retirement during the off season.

Last week, opening week, Young gets boo'ed after his second INT, and then when the Titian's get the ball back, he doesn't leave the bench to go to the huddle. Coach Fisher called a TO, and goes over to Young, who is "complaining" about soreness in his hamstring. After some goading, he go back in. Gets hurt on the next drive for real.

Young is out 2-6 weeks with a MCL sprain. The team is worried about Young's state of mind, sends a shrink over, report is that the shrink is worried about Young state of well being.

Young then speeds off in his Beamer, leaves his cell phone behind and can't be reached for four hours, team gets worried, calls Fisher, who alerts the police.

Comes out that Young was at his friends place "playing video games and eating chicken wings." Or so says Young's friend.

Yesterday Young's mother made a statement with the press, worried about her son, calling him lonely and sad.

At first I thought this kinda funny. A guy making 25 mill in signing bonus over the next 4 years is sad because he's getting booed. I also wanted, if for no other reason than to stick it in the side of Brown, this to be another UT athlete who has gone off the deep end. Then I got to thinking.

Is this a result of the "everybody wins" mentality that is sweeping our nation over the past 10 years or so? Think about it. Now a days we don't keep score in young kids sporting events. We make sure everybody plays the same amount of time on the court/field/rink. If not, its because the coach has something against the kids, not the fact that your kid sucks at sports.

This is something that has been a torn in my side for awhile now. People have called it the wussifacation of America, with everybody being treated the same, and its nobodies fault win people lose, because nobody does lose.

Do you know what happens when somebody tells you aren't good enough to play? Two things. Either you pout and quit, or you sack up and prove that guy wrong.

You ever think Vince Young, or Matt Leinart were ever told they weren't good enough before they got to the NFL? You think somebody ever said "you know we won last week Matt, but you threw 3 INT's so maybe you should put down that bottle of Jager and hit the films."

No, they probably didn't. And you know why? Because if they did he would pout and get defensive saying who is this guy, I'm Matt Fucking Leinart.

I've completely forgot what I was talking about. So let me just end with this;

We are going to see more and more of the Vince Young, Matt Leinart's of the world as the NFL goes on. Kidds who have been promised the world, when all the have to do is be the best QB/Pitcher/Goalie in the world, when the fact is, they might not be able to do that.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Nude Music Friday - Music Video's and the VMA's

The other night, after a long day of football and a wrestling PPV (which was awesome), me and the bear sat down and to take in a little Video Music Awards. This used to be one of the more enjoyable things that MTV did, as they rewarded good music put to good short film, and since MTV doesn't play videos anymore, I thought this would be a great time to see some of the better ones of the year, and they always have some good/crazy performances during it as well, so I rolled tape.

We started the 2 hour show about 10:15 or so and were done with it by 11:00. I'm not going to bore you with a break down of what happened, but here is a few high/lowlights.

The staged it at a movie back lot. Maybe 400 people there. I remember when this thing could sell out MSG. Ohh well.

The host was some dude i never heard of, from Britain, and he sucked. He made fun of his penis, republicans, and the Jonas brothers and their opal rings.

The winner for best new artist was some band I've never heard of, and I work for a pop radio station on the weekends! Tokyo Hotel? I got nothing.

Britney Spears won everything she could for "Pieces of me," an all right video, but they gave it to her because she's Britney. Whores.

They didn't show videos at all. This really bothered me. Even when they were introducing the nominees each video maybe got 3 seconds. Its the Video Music Awards. VIDEO!

Since I'm sure none of you have seen any of the videos, much like myself, Below I have posted a few from the more "legit" categories that they didn't even broadcast on the show. Imagine if they gave out the best Director Oscar before the show hit the air. Good call MTV.

Winner for Best Choreography and Best Art Direction
Gnarls Barkley - Run

A great video from a great band. Even has a Justin Timberlake sighting.

Winner for Best FX
Kanye West - Goodlife
I don't think they could have given it to anybody but this video. The graffiti cartoon fits the video so well.

Winner for Best Editing
Death Cab For Cutie - I will Posses your Heart
These guys are old school. Tell a story that has nothing to do with the band, but fits the song, and just have cuts to the band playing in some random place. Good stuff. BTW the singing starts at 4:45

Winner for Best Cinematography
White Stripes - Conquest
Video that fits the song perfectly. On a side note, I didn't know the chick from the White Stripes had a sex tape. Not that bad my friend.

Closeing the show was Kanye West preforming a brand new song, "Love Locked Down."

Now I love Kanye West, so I might be jaded, but this track it sick.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Power is the eye of.....week 1

As i did last year, I'm going to be bringing you the freshest, most original look around the NFL, a power ranking!

I know your life wouldn't be complete unless you knew for sure whether or not i thought the Cardinals are better than the Lions, so I bring you this, Big's NFL power rankings.

(i know its lame, but if I do anything well, its lame shit)

Top Dogs, gonna eat yo face and spit out your bones tier

1. Dallas Cowboys 1-0 - Of the 4 teams that looked truly bad ass this weekend, Dallas was the only one playing a good team from last year. For that, they get the number spot.

2. Pittsburgh Steelers 1-0 - They have a HELLUVA schedule, but if they play that well every week, this team could be tops in the AFC.

3. Philadelphia Eagles 1-0 - As a Cowboys fan I was really, REALLY hoping McNugget was done, looks like I was like that time in Mexico City where I picked up a really hot "female" hooker, and that's wrong.

4. Denver Broncos 1-0 - So who would have thought the kid from Vandy would be the smarter QB than the guys from USC and Texas? Hmmmm.

The Maybe I Should have played my starters a little more in the Pre Season tier.

5. San Diego Chargers 0-1 - You put together Norv Turner + Playing Rust+ people coming off injury = Loss.

The We are supposed to be good, but we looked kinda bad, but we still won tier.

6. New York Giants 1-0 - Team looked real good at first, then most of their drives started stalling out at the end of the game. Kinda like my sex life.

7. New England Patriots 1-0 - My roommate called the Brady injury before it happened. He's also predicting that Steve DeBerg will come out of retirement to lead the Pats to a superbowl. He's a mexican. (roommate, not DeBerg)

8. New Orleans Saints 1-0 - So they didn't look bad, per say, but I expected more from a city who father sea hates right now. If nothing else to tell that aquaman mother fucker to shove his trident up his ass.

The "I'm good a swear, look i got win" tier.

9. Chicago Bears 1-0 - Get ready for lots of 16-13 games, as they seam to be ready to play good D, run the shit out of the ball, and then pray they don't have to use NeckBeard at all.

10. New York Jets 1-0 - J E T S JETS JETS FAVRE!

11. Buffalo Bills 1-0 - So when if the Bills move to Toronto, can they change their name to the Lone Rangers? That's funny. Toronto and the Lone Rangers!

The "uhh you guys lost?" tier

12. Indianapolis Colts 0-1 So Eli lead his team to win on opening night, while Peyton played Sunday night and lost to the bears. What is this, Bizzaro World?

13. Jacksonville Jaguars 0-1 To all you people who said "David Garrard is the most consistent passer in the game." Suck it.

The "If we played this game 10 times, it would be 5-5" tier.

14. Green Bay Packers 1-0 The same week that Carl Badlander told me to listen to a new Alter Bridge song, who are the same people from Creed minus Scott Stapp, is the same week Aaron Rodgers gets his first win as Packer QB. coincidence? I think not.

15. Minnesota Vikings 0-1 - Did I forget just how terrible Travis Jackson is when I picked Minn to win the div? I guess I did. He is terrible. If Chris Simms were on this team, that's at least 4 more wins.

The "look we got a win, we're still relevant for another week" tier.

16. Carolina Panthers 1-0 - Pulled on out their back side. Think people wear "Jesus is my DelHOME boy" shirts in Carolina?

17. Tennessee Titans 1-0 - So the story from this game is that Jeff Fisher, Titians coach, had to coax Vince Young to go back in the game, because his feelings were hurt, because the fans were booing him, because he was sucking. Lets see, Rickey Williams, Cedric Benson, Vince Young, what do all these guys have in common? (brows going to kick my ass)

The "get used to this the rest of the year" tier

18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 0-1 - Did they play bad? No, but they didn't play all that well either. Get used to it.

19. Cleveland Browns 0-1 - Are they as bad as the looked vs. a good Dallas team? No, but they play what I like to call the GonnaSiphaHerpleAids schedule. So, Get used to it.

20. Arizona Cardinals 1-0 - When you are an average team, but you play in a div with STL, SF, and Seattle, your going to get some wins despite your average talent. So, Get used to it.

The "Maybe a Rookie QB aint such a bad thing" tier.

21. Atlanta Falcons 1-0 - I don't think anyone will remember this that didn't go to Bonham Middle School in Temple Texas, but we had this speaker one day, his name was Tony Syyks, and he was a cop. But not just a cop, A rapping cop from the "hood." His songs were such greatness as "I'm a homeboy who became a cop" and "why fight when you can dance." I really wish I was making this up. Anyway, during one of his "songs" he said the line "I'm Toney Syyks, syyks, Syyks" and traild off syyks like it was an echo. Back around to the Falcons, everytime I hear Matt Ryans' name, I think of Ryan standing there going "I'm Matty Ice, Ice, Ice" just like the homeboy who became a cop. Don't know why, but it makes me giggle.

22. Baltimore Ravens 1-0 How bad do you feel for Troy Smith? He was the golden boy at OSU till he blew ass in that championship game vs Florida, and then he fell to the third round, and as soon as he gets his shot at starting, he goes down due to injury. No worries right, the guy who is starting till he gets healthy is a rookie, so they we most deff welcome him back and at least give him shot when he's right with ball, right? Well, Joe Flacco may never sit on the bench this year. Sorry for ya, Troy.

the "bitch, you better get better or I'm going to look like a dumb ass" tier.

23. Washington Redskins 0-1 Jason Campbell, 7 years post high school, 6 different Offensive Coordinators. Is this another way the man is trying to keep the brotha down?

24. Seattle Seahawks 0-1 - Ohh wayyy we had to take our carter jet, with leather seats, personal chief, and striper pole in the back all the way to New York. How can you expect us to play across 3 time zones? Pussys.

25. Houston Texans 0-1 - They did a whole big thing on Mario Williams during one of the pre game shows, and how he'll be the difference against a porous Pitt o-line. Yea, not so much.

26. Miami Dolphins 0-1 - I will say this, they looked much, much better than they did last year, but they don't have any big talent over there. And can they please stop with the baseball/football stadiums? I used to think this was cool, but now it just bothers me. Ohh and your check for letting Favre win on opening day should be in the mail from CBS any day now.

27. Cincinnati Bengals 0-1 - I'm giving this team one more week, but if they play like they did this week, hello last place. This team looked putrid. Like vomit after a night of sushi and guennis beer.

the "i just crapped my pants" tier.

28. Kansas City Chiefs 0-1 - You knocked out Tom Brady, held the Pats to 17, and still lost. That's like getting a girl drunk after a nice dinner, and having her pass out on you while she's starting to felace you.

29. San Francisco 49ers 0-1 - Frank Gore and your crazy knees, Patches O'Hoolahan and your crazy arm, Patrick Willis and your crazy tackling. You guys are cute. Shitty, But Cute.

30. St. Louis Rams 0-1 - So you have one of the best RB's in the league and you give it to him like twice. That's some sound ass thinking. That's like have 3 testicles and then removing one because your too bad ass.

31. Detroit Lions 0-1 Lost. To. Atlanta.

32. Oakland Raiders 0-1 - Do they have promise? Yes, Will they win a game this year? Maybe. Is Al Davis just waiting on the new HeMan movie so he can play the antagonist? God I hope so.

So there's week one. Hope you have fun reading it. If not, all complaints can be sent to

Monday, September 8, 2008

College Football Weekly round up - Week 2

Haha, You were last, you eat the cookie!

Its always nice when the schedule works out for you. This last Saturday was UNT's first home game of the year. I love going to games at UNT and I love drinking cold beer out in the parking lot of Fouts Field even more. The only bad part about doing this is I miss most of the live college football games on TV.

Now I have a DVR, and I recorded the "big" games and post game shows on ESPN, so I can start my NFL Sunday with a college recap from the day before, and also all the bars in Denton have Sports Center and the late games going on mute the rest of the night.

That said, what a perfect day to not watch college football this weekend. With only one upset and only a handfull of close games, I didn't feel I missed all that much this weekend, and the Round Up shows it, as all the Main Eventers have stayed the same, and only one team dropped out of the Mid Card level.

So here we go, again the teams are voted on who can win the BCS championship, and who is right there, presented in order of most impressive.

Main Eventers

No. 5 Florida (26-3, Miami (FL)) - winning only 9-3 in going into the 4th, 17 unanswered points gave the Tebow's a nice win.
No. 4 Oklahoma (52-26 Cincinnati 26) - Take away the kickoff return for a TD and a last second TD and 52-12 looks even better for the Sooners.
No. 2 Georgia (56-17 Central Michigan) - Knowshawn Moreno, 9.3 yards per carry. Wow.
No. 1 USC (idel) - ahh yes, they played the ever daunting nobody. Two weeks to prepair for Ohio St. This may not end well for the Buckeyes.
No. 3 Ohio State (26-14, Ohio) - Losing going into the 4th, 5-15 on third downs, no down field threats, I really hope this team was looking past Ohio, because if they weren't, they are going to get rolled by USC this week.

Mid Carders

No. 6 Missouri (52-3, Southeast Missouri State) - That is how good teams should play against bad ones. 592 total yards. Nice.
No. 10 Texas (42-13, UTEP) - Does 1-6 on third downs and getting out gained on total yardage to UTEP bother any Texas fans? A win is a win non the less.
No. 8 LSU (Troy) - Game was postponed due to the shittyness that Gustav caused Baton Rouge. I've got an uncle over there and he's still without power. I was looking forward to seeing what Troy could do, but I'm glad people realize that sometimes there are more important things than football.
No. 9 Auburn (27-13, Southern Miss) - I guess the spread attack of the Auburn passing game will take a few weeks to get going. While not bad, 21 of 34 for 228 doesn't make me think of the Run and Gun, put all the women and children to bed and go looking for dinner that the War Eagle's promised us.
No. 14 Kansas (29-0, Louisiana Tech) - With WVU losing, that opened a mid card spot up for another team, and I was on the fence between Kansas, Alabama, and Wisconson. Alabama has a better win, yet I don't really believe in them, and I refuse to get tricked again (like i do almost every year) in thinking the Badgers are worth a damn, I'm going with Kansas.
Todd Reesing was 32/38, for 412 yards, 3TD's and no picks. That's pretty damn good.

Developmental Guys.(guys to keep your eyes on, not necessarily the next 5 best teams.)

No. 13 Alabama (20-6, Tulane) - Got out gained 172-318, yet help the green wave out of the endzone.
No. 15 Arizona State (41-17, Stanford) - For the past 5 or 6 years, Arizona State has been trying to catch up to USC in the Pac 10, and every year they get a little closer. Watch out for this team and their pretty good QB, Rudy Carpenter, ( 27/36, 345, 3TD's, 1 int).
East Carolina (24-3, No. 8 West Virginia) - Holy crap I was only joking when I said ECU could beat WVU. This team could be for real, Balanced, Efficient, Selfless, all quality for a BCS buster, and now they have 2 wins over top 15 teams. That's better than anyone else in the country.
No. 12 Texas Tech (35-19, Nevada) - Not a good day for Graham Herrell, 19/46 for 297, 1 TD and 2 picks.
No. 19 Penn State (45-14, Oregon State) - They beat a pac-10 team, albeit not a very good pac 10 team, handily. Could this be JoePa's last great run?

The Big Ups to all my Haters weekly upset of the week going to ECU. Duh.

And lasty, like I said earlier, I went to the UNT game this weekend where we got drilled by Tulsa, 56-26. I didn't think we had a shot in this game, as Tulsa is a decent little team, but having 42 dropped on you during the first half was tough. Just to clarify, when I said I went to the game, I ment I went tail gating, and then listen to the first half from the parking lot, then went to the bar to watch the rest of the game. If the game was even kinda close, I probably would have went in for the second half, but it wasn't. Is that sorry? Probably, but that's how I roll. Deal with it.