Monday, December 31, 2007


All right I normally don't post stuff I find on ESPN's front page, but damn, this guy gets knocked the fuck out. FANTASTIC!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Power is in the Eye....

I know its a day early, but since i'm sure nobody really reads this anyway, I had some time this christmas eve so here you go. The Playoff Picture is getting much more clear now. 1-5 is set for the most part in both confereces. 3 teams still alive in the NFC, and 2 for the AFC for the last spot. Good Stuff.

So here is the list, again this is based on how well these teams would fair against a pissed off NYC sewer alligator, who is wearing a bad hair piece, that you just made fun of. Yea, he's pissed.

The Opps I crapped my pants Tier

32. Atlanta Falcons 3 12
– Wow, this team just keeps getting kicked in the nuts. Let’s recap their year. There starting pro bowl QB gets put in jail, There next 2 QB’s go down with either Injury or Suckatude, star CB goes off on everybody from Coach to teammates, coach quits, and then now they lose their first choice of President of Football Operations in Big Bill. One thing I can take out of all this, they will take a QB in the draft, but may not be Brain Brohm anymore.

31. Miami Dolphins 1 14 - And Back to suck.

30. New York Jets 3 12 - They keep playing with some “heart.” No that’s not a good word, how about “moxy.” That doesn’t work either. Hmmm, how about “purpose?” Fuck it I’m out.

29. Kansas City Chiefs 4 11 - And way to lose to Detroit. Good stuff.

28. Baltimore Ravens 4 11 - You just got smoked by Seattle, and they say Billick is staying? Out of all the coaches, this is the one I think should go.

27. St. Louis Rams 3 12 - they hung in there until the very end against a pretty good Pitt team.

And Next Year Will Be Different Tier (no, it probably wont)

26. Oakland Raiders 4 11 - Jam Jam was 7-23 with 3 picks. It’s early, but that is bad.

25. San Francisco 49ers 5 10 Shawn Hill (who?) played pretty well, and this team may not be as bad as I thought they were. I’m still rooting for a win for them this week so the Pats get a lower pick.

24. Carolina Panthers 6 9 Def is good, and Matt Moore might have something, but this team is going to take a wash until Jake gets back.

The Teams that could be better next year

23. Denver Broncos 6 8 - Play’s tonight, but they are still on that QB needs to take the next step tier.

22. Chicago Bears 6 9 - That’s the Bears team that we thought we would see this year. Go get you some Neck Beard!

21. Detroit Lions 7 8 - Nothing gets the mojo back better than a visit from the former Texans!

20. Cincinnati Bengals 6 9 - This has got to be the most puzzling team in the league. They played a pretty good game, with a nice defensive effort, against a nice little Browns team. If they don’t make a run next year, it might be time to blow it up.

The teams I can't really figger out.

19. Houston Texans 7 8 - I really wanted this team to play better vs. an emotionless, no meaning having, Colts team.

18. Buffalo Bills 7 8 - they really had a shot to take some momentum into next year with a strong last few weeks. Instead, they got worked by what looks like an average NY team.

17. Arizona Cardinals 7 8 - That’s the Gun-slinging, let’s make it happen “O” I’ve been looking for! Way to make it happen after I’m out of the Playoffs, thanks.

16. Philadelphia Eagles 7 8 - I called for McNugget’s out, now I don’t know. This team is on that edge of older people with the window closing. They either need to make a few moves and try and sell the thing out next year, or blow it up.

Last NFC Playoff teams

15. New Orleans Saints 7 8 - they really had a shot to make this a fun last weekend, but they lost and now they need both Minnesota, and Washington to lose next week.

14. Minnesota Vikings 8 7 - Once the Skin’s got a little lead, and could gamble with one on one coverage outside, they put like 9 guys in the box to stop A.D. And Travis couldn’t make em pay for it.

13. Washington Redskins 8 7 - Great game plan for Old Gibbs, and let me say, Todd Collins? 22-29 254 and 2 TD’s? Really?

Last AFC Playoff Teams

12. Tennessee Titans 9 6 – Yes, the Jets are playing better, but come on, all you could muster was 10 points? And VY doesn’t even really run anymore, man is anybody going to be the cover of madden this year?

11. Cleveland Browns 9 6 - Come on, don’t make the Cowboys pick a late rounder, and then NOT make the playoffs. COME ON!

The I Can't beleive that one of these teams will be in the second round of the Playoffs Tier

10. New York Giants 10 5 - they showed me a little something this week. You know what it was? Brandon Jacobes can play, Eli can’t.

9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 9 6 - Story of this game, Graham 9 rush 21 yards, Bennett 5 rush 16 yards. Nice.

Scary Teams, but they could also get the shit kicked out of them.

8. Pittsburgh Steelers 10 5 - They needed a nice win, and they got it. Then they got some good luck with Cle loosing. I still don’t think this team can beat Jacksonville.

7. Seattle Seahawks 10 5 - Very quietly making a strong push forward, getting healthy, and getting ready for the playoffs. Going to be fun to watch this team go to Green Bay in a few weeks.

The Got a Real Shot at the Winning in the Playoffs Tier.

6. San Diego Chargers 9 5 – I am putting this team in this tier if assuming they win tonight, but if they don’t then they are just below the Steelers. Like the Seahawks, this team is ready to make some noise.

5. Jacksonville Jaguars 11 4 – Here is how it will go down, If Jacksonville plays NE, they could beat them, but they won’t beat Indy.

4. Green Bay Packers 12 3 – Thank you Bears! One thing though, Ryan Grant might be legit.

3. Indianapolis Colts 13 2 - Could Marvin play this week? If he comes back and gets them to the championship game, that will be one of the coolest stories of the year.

2. Dallas Cowboys 13 2 – A win is a win, and this once means that they can rest some people next week. They will need that with TO going down.

The Best Ever, at least regular season.

1. New England Patriots 15 0 And, they are going to do it. No doubt about it.

There you go, a little Christmas eve NFL. Sex Me.

Friday, December 21, 2007

The Most Amazing Moments in Sports

From's Campus Clicks...

The Brown Five - 12/21/07

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) Marc Bulger gets a concussion...again...during practice
QB Marc Bulger had gotten a concussion a few weeks ago, and it was aggravated this week, not during the game with the Steelers last night, but during practice. He wasn't practicing, oh no, he got pelted in the head by a football and he wasn't wearing a helmet. No one said "Heads up!" or "Fore!". This is kind of funny, and kind of sad. It sounds like something out of "Necessary Roughness".

2) Three UNC football players and sexual assault
You're thinking they assaulted some poor girl on campus, right? No, no, quite the opposite. Two women and a man with a knife attacked the three football players, tied them up and two of the players were "sexually assaulted". Now, I'm no legal expert, but for a man to be sexually assaulted, I'm pretty sure someone has to go in through the out door. Oh, Butch Davis, what to tell your locker room now? (Last I checked, Butch Davis was the coach there, I don't care if I'm wrong.)

3) A bowl game? Really? Didn't notice.
Navy and Utah played an entertaining game, even though you had to fight through Lou Holtz and Rece Davis. Navy finally had pass yardage that equaled the amount of letters in their quarterback's full name. Navy ended up losing the game, so that really means one thing. The University of Utah hates America and its troops.

4) Papelbon's dog ate it
Oh, this is fun. You know that game winning ball from the World Series? The one that Varitek said he gave to Papelbon on Papelbon put it in his pocket? Now Papelbon is saying that "his dog ate it". Wow.

Let this story die. Please.

I'm out until Wednesday of next week. As a Holiday gift, here's a picture of me celebrating:

Thursday, December 20, 2007

The Brown Five - 12/20/07

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) Mavs eek out a streak
The Mavericks won against the Suns last night, staving off a comeback from the Suns in the waning minutes. The Mavericks were on top for most of the night, but what's interesting is that if you watch and if you listen to commentators, Josh Howard is, indeed, becoming the number one option instead of Dirk. You know what? I think that is the best thing that could happen. I don't think the team can win with Dirk being THE guy with a supporting cast. I think that if Howard and Dirk can be on equal footing and the GUYS, then this team CAN win.

2) Zo is done, for real this time
Alonzo Mourning tore the patellar tendon in his right knee last night, and according to Udonis Haslem, all he said when he was on the floo rwas "It's over, it's over". It went so far as to have Zo refuse to be carried off the court in a stretcher, but limp off while being supported by two of his teammates. Mourning is going to go down as one of the best defenders of all time, and for coming back from a kidney condition after receiving a transplant.

3) I told you that Parcells would go to Atl-- wait, huh?
Well, the shores of Miami beach were calling to the Tuna instead of Atlanta. I like Parcells, and I think he can bring in some stability. My only question for Miami now is...are they ready to sign Curtis Martin, Richie Anderson, Aaron Glenn, and Vinny Testaverde to contracts? Here comes the Parcells express!

4) Oh yeah, hockey is violent, maybe I should watch more
Not sure if you've seen it, but check out the video circulating showing why Chris Simon has been suspended for a record 30 games for stepping on Jordan Ruutu's skate. You might have to watch the video a couple of times to really see what's happening, but when you realize that he's damn near trying to slice the dude's achilles tendon, it's pretty disgusting. This is pretty disturbing shit for professional sports, as that is almost for sure a career ending injury.

5) TO vs. Jessica Simpson
It was a joke, meant to make fun of the fact that this story is still alive when it should be long dead. Get over it people, including me.

Take the time to go read Big's breakdown of the bowl games and why you should watch them...Here.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Good Tuna, or Stinky Tuna?

I'm sure by now you have all heard the story that former Cowboy's coach Bill Parcels, after one year in the "media" he has been offered a job as a VP or some such over at Miami. This after telling Arther Blank that he would take the same job with Atlanta last night. Now I don't know if this is a dick move or not for this guy. It sucks that it was Arther Blank who once again gets taco kicked, but if he got offered 2 jobs he will take the one he likes better.

Miami vs. Atlanta.
Phins vs. Falcons
Porter vs. Vick
Cubans vs. Ghetto's
Old People vs. Southern Socialites
Models vs. Strippers
John Beck vs. Joey Blue Skys
Cleo Lemon vs. Byron Leftwhich
#1 Draft pick vs. #2 Draft pick
Ronnie Brown vs. Jerrieus Norrewood

There you go. Pick what you will. I think he made the right choice.

College Football Bowls, Watch em!

Bowl Games!! You know you love em. They start in next few days, and this is my attempt to help you, the sexy readers on what to watch for durring this years bowl season. What is the point of watching all the games Big? There are so many and only 2 or 3 really have meaning? Well i'm glad you asked.

There are about 4 sides to my sports brain. College Sports, NFL, Other Sports, and the NFL Draft. So how can one of these things get you to watch more bowl games? Thats right the draft. So I am going to give you a list of the teams playing in this years games, and a list of players from each team that could go in the NFL draft. Some teams have alot; LSU, USC, and some don't; Navy.

Here is how it breaks down. I will give you the game, time, and teams of the bowl, then i will name the players that might go in the draft, and in the () is around how this player is thought of regarding his position. Example

Glen Dorsey DT LSU (1)

the 1 means he is the #1 rated defensive tackle. So here you go, watch the game and watch these guys.

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia
Utah vs. Navy
San Diego Dec. 20, 9 p.m. ESPN HD
Navy - Yea, its Navy.

Utah - RB Kevin Robinson (3-6 KR) OT Jason Boone (15-18) ILBJoe Jianonni (18-25)FB Matt Sims, 6-0, 255, Utah (TE)(20-22)

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Memphis vs. Florida Atlantic
New Orleans Dec. 21, 8 p.m. ESPN2 HD
Memphis: 0G Andy Smith, 6-3, 315, (19-24) QB Martin Hankins, 6-2, 210 (13-18)

FA: Safteys, with a good Combin. Come on they are in the Sunbelt! Bowl

Southern Miss vs. Cincinnati
Birmingham, Ala. Dec. 22, 1 p.m. ESPN2 HD

SM SS Brandon Sumrall, 5-11, 200 (6-13) OT Chris Clark, 6-5, 302

Cinn: Doug Jones, 6-4, 276 FB/TE (top 3)

New Mexico
Nevada vs. New Mexico
Albuquerque, N.M. Dec. 22, 4:30 p.m. ESPN HD

Nevada: Ezra Butler, 6-1, 250 OLB(10-18)

New Mexico: WR Marcus Smith, 6-1, 215 (20-26)

Pioneer Las Vegas
Las Vegas Dec. 22, 8 p.m. ESPN HD

UCLA: Trey Brown, 5-9, 190 CB (12-18) Chris Horton, 6-1, 210 SS (2-5) Shannon Tevaga, 6-3, 315 OG (2-5) Bruce Davis, 6-3, 237 DE/OLB (6-12) Kevin Brown, 6-2, 295, DT (8-13)

BYU: Quinton Gooch, 6-0, 195 FS (12-17) Dallas Reynolds, 6-4, 345 OG (2-5)

Sheraton Hawaii
Boise State vs. East Carolina
Honolulu Dec. 23, 8 p.m. ESPN

Boise: Ian Johnson, 5-10, 210 RB (3-8) Ryan Clady, 6-6, 320 OT (2-5)

East Carolina: Chris Johnson, 5-10, 170 KR/RB (1-5)

Motor City
Purdue vs. Central Michigan
Detroit Dec. 26, 7:30 p.m. ESPN HD

Purdue: Dorien Bryant, 5-9, 175 WR (10-15) Dustin Keller, 6-4, 240 TE (6-10) Sean Sester, 6-6, 325 OT (9-15)Jordan Grimes, 6-3, 325 OG (3-6) Robbie Powell, 6-5, 310 C (8-14) Cliff Avril, 6-2, 251, OLB/DE (18-25)

Central Michigan: Steven Friend, 6-2, 295 DT (19-25) Red Keith, 5-11, 245 ILB (6-14)

Pacific Life Holiday
Arizona State vs. Texas
San Diego Dec. 27, 8 p.m. ESPN HD

ASU: Josh Barrett, 6-2, 230 FS (3-6) Ryan Torain, 6-0, 215 RB (8-15)

UT: Marcus Griffin, 5-11, 205 SS (3-6) Jamaal Charles, 6-0, 200 RB (12-16) Limas Sweed, 6-5, 220 WR (3-8)Tony Hills, 6-5, 305 OT (10-16) Frank Okam, 6-4, 320 DT (2-3)

Champs Sports
Boston College vs. Michigan State
Orlando, Fla. Dec. 28, 5 p.m. ESPN HD

BC: Matt Ryan, 6-4, 225 (2-6) Gosder Cherilous, 6-6, 320 OT (3-15) B.J. Raji, 6-1, 335 DT (6-10) Brian Toal, 6-0, 240 OLB (4-9) DeJuan Tribble, 5-9, 190 DB (11-15)

MS: Kellen Davis, 6-5, 240 TE (8-13) Sir Darean Adams, 5-11, 230 OLB/SS (25-30)

TCU vs. Houston
Houston Dec. 28, 8 p.m. NFL Network

TCU: Tommy Blake, 6-3, 252 DE (3-10) Brian Bonner, 5-10, 200 SS (8-12)

Houston: Ima Peter (1)

Maryland vs. Oregon State
San Francisco Dec. 28, 8:30 p.m. ESPN HD

Maryland: Andrew Crummey, 6-4, 305 OG/C (4-8) Dre Moore, 6-4, 315 DT (10-15)Erin Henderson, 6-2, 236, OLB (4-9)

Oregon St: Yvenson Bernard, 5-9, 205 RB(8-14) Sammie Stroughter, 5-11, 185 WR(12-16)Jeremy Perry, 6-2, 313 OG (1-4) Roy Schuening, 6-4, 315 OG (4-10) Alexis Serna, 5-8, 170 K (1-3)

Meineke Car Care
UConn vs. Wake Forest
Charlotte, N.C. Dec. 29, 1 p.m. ESPN HD

UConn: Danny Lansanah, 6-0, 250 (7-13) Larry Taylor, 5-6, 175 KR/WR (3-6)

Wake: Rich Belton, 6-0, 260 FB (3-6) Chris DeGeare, 6-4, 365 OG (10-15) Steve Justice, 6-4, 295 C (6-10)

AutoZone Liberty
UCF vs. Mississippi State
Memphis, Tenn. Dec. 29, 4:30 p.m. ESPN HD


Miss St: Titus Brown, 6-3, 250 DE/OLB (13-20)(5-8)

Valero Alamo
Penn State vs. Texas A&M
San Antonio Dec. 29, 8 p.m. ESPN HD

PennSt: Dan Connor, 6-2, 233 OLB/S (1-4) Justin King, 5-11, 185 CB (6-12) Derrick Williams, 5-11, 205 WR (13-18)

Texas A&M: Jorvorskie Lane, 5-11, 265 Rb (13-18) Marcellus Bennett, 6-6, 255 TE (1-5)Kirk Elder, 6-4, 310 OG (6-10) Cody Wallace, 6-4, 295 C (1-4) Chris Harrington, 6-5, 265 DE (9-15)Red Bryant, 6-4, 325 DT (3-6)

PetroSun Independence
Alabama vs. Colorado
Shreveport, La. Dec. 30, 8 p.m. ESPN HD

Alabama: Antoine Caldwell, 6-4, 290 C (2-6)

Colorado: Jordan Dizon, 6-0, 230 DE (13-18)

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces
California vs. Air Force
Fort Worth, Texas Dec. 31, 12:30 p.m. ESPN

California: DeSean Jackson, 5-11, 165 WR (1-4)

Air Force:

Roady's Humanitarian
Georgia Tech vs. Fresno State
Boise, Idaho Dec. 31, 2 p.m. ESPN2

GT: Durant Brooks, 6-1, 202 P (1-3) Phillip Wheeler, 6-1, 230 ILB (3-6)


Brut Sun
South Florida vs. Oregon
El Paso, Texas Dec. 31, 2 p.m. CBS

USF Ben Moffitt, 6-1, 240 ILB (8-12) Mike Jenkins, 5-11, 200 CB/FS (7-12) Trae Williams, 5-9, 185 CB (12-18)

Oregon: Dennis Dixon, 6-3, 205 QB (12-20) Jonathan Stewart, 5-10, 235 RB (2-10)Jaison Williams, 6-4, 240 WR (16-21)

Gaylord Hotels Music City
Kentucky vs. Florida State
Nashville, Tenn. Dec. 31, 4 p.m. ESPN HD

Kentucky: Wesley Woodyard, 6-1, 215 OLB (8-12) Andre Woodson, 6-4, 240 QB (1-3)Rafael Little, 5-9, 200 RB (10-16) Keenan Burton, 6-2, 195 WR (10-16) Jacob Tamme, 6-4, 240 TE (4-6)

Florida State: Roger Williams, 6-0, 200 FS (3-7) Jacky Claude, 6-4, 310 OG (9-14) John Frady, 6-3, 305 C (12-18) Andre Fluellen, 6-4, 290 DT (4-8)

Indiana vs. Oklahoma State
Tempe, Ariz. Dec. 31, 6 p.m. NFL Network

Indiana: James Hardy, 6-7, 215 WR (5-10) Tracy Porter, 5-10, 185 CB (6-10)

Oklahoma State: Adarius Bowman, 6-4, 215WR (2-6)

Clemson vs. Auburn
Atlanta Dec. 31, 7:30 p.m. ESPN HD

Clemson: Barry Richardson, 6-7, 325 OT (5-10) James Davis, 5-10, 210 RB (6-10)

Auburn: Quenton Groves, 6-3, 255 DE (3-5)

Wisconsin vs. Tennessee
Tampa, Fla. Jan. 1, 2008, 11 a.m. ESPN HD

Wisconsin: Marcus Coleman, 6-5, 305 C (5-10) Nick Hayden, 6-4, 300 DT (8-13)Jack Ikegwuonu, 6-0, 200 CB (3-8) PJ Hill, 5-10, 222 RB (5-10) Travis Beckum, 6-4, 225 TE (4-9)

Tennessee: Eric Ainge, 6-6, 220 QB (4-10)

AT&T Cotton
Missouri vs. Arkansas
Dallas Jan. 1, 2008, 11:30 a.m. FOX

Missouri: Adam Spieker, 6-3, 305 C (4-8) Lorenzo Williams, 6-1, 295 DT (12-19) Chase Daniels, 6-0, 225 QB (8-12)Martin Rucker, 6-4, 255 TE (1-4) Chase Coffman, 6-5, 245 TE (1-6)

Arkansas: Robert Felton, 6-3, 330 OG (8-14) Jonathan Luigs, 6-3, 310 C (4-8) Antwain Robinson, 6-2, 255 DE (10-15) Marcus Harrison, 6-3, 315 DT (15-20) Darren McFadden, 6-1, 210 RB (1)Peyton Hillis, 6-1, 235 FB (3-7)

Konica Minolta Gator
Texas Tech vs. Virginia
Jacksonville, Fla. Jan. 1, 2008, 1 p.m. CBS

Texas Tech:

Virginia: Chris Long, 6-4, 284 DE (1-3)

Capital One
Michigan vs. Florida
Orlando, Fla. Jan. 1, 2008, 1 p.m. ABC HD

Michigan: Jake Long, 6-6, 320 OT (1) Adam Kraus, 6-5, 305 OG/C (3-6) Shawn Crable, 6-4, 245 OLB (14-18)Jamar Adams. 6-1, 212 SS (10-15) Chad Henne, 6-2, 225 QB (4-8) Mike Hart, 5-9, 205 RB (4-8)*Mario Manningham, 5-11, 180 WR (2-6)

Florida: Andre Caldwell, 6-0, 200 WR (13-20)

Rose Bowl presented by Citi
Illinois vs. USC
Pasadena, Calif. Jan. 1, 2008, 4:30 p.m. ABC HD

Illinois: Chris Norwell, 6-5, 290 DT (15-20) J Leman, 6-2, 245 ILB (5-10) Akim Millington, 6-5, 310 OT (7-13)

USC: Rey Maualaga, 6-1, 250 ILB (1-3) Keith Rivers, 6-3, 220 OLB (3-6) John David Booty, 6-3, 200 QB (4-10) Fred Davis, 6-4, 260 TE (7-14) Sam Baker, 6-5, 305 OT (2-5)Sedrick Ellis, 6-1, 295 DT (3-7)

Allstate Sugar
Hawaii vs. Georgia
New Orleans Jan. 1, 2008, 8:30 p.m. FOX

Hawaii: Colt Brennan, 6-3, 195 QB (4-8) Davone Bess, 5-9, 175 WR (4-10)

Georgia: Brandon Coutu, 6-0, 200 K (1-3) Mikey Henderson, 5-9, 150 KR/WR (2-6)

Tostitos Fiesta
Oklahoma vs. West Virginia
Glendale, Ariz. Jan. 2, 2008, 8 p.m. FOX

Oklahoma: Malcolm Kelly, 6-4, 217 WR (1-6) Nic Harris, 6-2, 225 FS (2-5) Reggie Smith, 6-0, 200 SS/CB (2-5)

West Virginia: Keilen Dykes, 6-3, 295 DT (3-5) Eric Weeks, 6-0, 205 FS (4-8) Steve Slaton, 5-9, 200 RB (2-7)Owen Schmitt, 6-2, 260 FB (1-4)

FedEx Orange
Virginia Tech vs. Kansas
Miami Jan. 3, 2008, 8 p.m. FOX

Virginia Tech: Chris Ellis, 6-5, 260 DE (6-10) Vince Hall, 5-11, 240 ILB(3-8) Xavier Adibi, 6-2, 225 OLB (1-6)Brandon Flowers, 5-9, 190 CB (10-15) Branden Ore, 5-10, 210 RB (6-14)

Kansas Aqib Talib, 6-1, 180 CB (4-14)

Rutgers vs. Ball State
Toronto Jan. 5, 2008, Noon ESPN2 HD

Rutgers: Ron Girault, 5-11, 200 FS (6-13) Courtney Greene, 6-0, 205 SS (3-8) Ray Rice, 5-9, 205 (3-8)

Ball State: Chris Miller, 6-2, 205 P (1-3)

Bowling Green vs. Tulsa
Mobile, Ala. Jan. 6, 2008, 8 p.m. ESPN HD

Bowling Green: Kory Lichtensteiner, 6-2, 310 C (3-7)

Tulsa: Paul Smith, 6-2, 200 QB (15-19) Nelson Coleman, 6-1, 235 ILB (4-9)

Allstate BCS Championship Game
LSU vs. Ohio State
New Orleans Jan. 7, 2008, 8 p.m. FOX

LSU: Early Doucet, 6-0, 205 WR (2-8) Will Arnold, 6-4, 322 OG (7-10) Tyson Jackson, 6-5, 285 (4-8)Glenn Dorsey, 6-2, 299 DT (1) Ali Highsmith, 6-1, 230 OLB (1-6) Chevis Jackson, 5-11, 190 CB (3-8)

Ohio State: Alex Boone, 6-8, 325 OT (2-5) Kirk Barton, 6-5, 310 OT (5-9) Vernon Gholston, 6-4, 265 DE (1-6)James Laurinaitis, 6-2, 245 ILB (1-3) Marcus Freeman, 6-1, 245 OLB (3-8) Malcolm Jenkins, 6-0, 202 CB (1-3)

There you go. I got most draft stuff from The Great Blue North . I'm sure I missed some kids and if I did, please tell me in the coments section.

Have fun bowling!


Son of a Bitch. Here we go.

From The DMN Cowboy Blog:

"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite in this locker room or in Texas Stadium," T.O. said. "I think with everything that has happened, and obviously the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel like she's probably taking his focus away.

"Other than that, she was at the top of my list until last week."

Romo didn't make his usual Wednesday appearance in the locker room, so we didn't have a chance to get his reply to T.O.'s concern about Ms. Simpson. And T.O. isn't done dealing with her, either.

"I've got a message for her when we make the playoffs," T.O. said. "Just stay tuned."

Here we go. Jeff Garcia is gay. Donovan McNabb doesn't care. Tony Romo has dumb, blond pussy on his mind.

TO's at the mic, anyone listening?

Power is in the Eye of.....

I'm going to make this one quick. Lots of good stuff to talk about, but for now your going to have to deal with my list. Hooray!

The Opps I Crapped My Pants Tier

32. Atlanta Falcons 3-11 - Damn what a bad week these guys. I would feel sorry for them, but I haven't liked Atlanta since they got rid of Steve DeBerg and then Jam Jam Anderson.

31. Miami Dolphins 1-13 - Man I was really rooting for the fins to get their only win this Sunday against New England, that would have been fun.

30. San Francisco 49ers 4-10 - I thought Shawn King was an analyst now? Wait is that the same guy?

The Praying for the beatings to stop Tier.

29. St. Louis Rams 3-11 - I still think this team will make the playoffs next year. That is if they don't fire their coach.

28. Baltimore Ravens 4-10 - Can you say give up? Good news is I thought Troy Smith looked pretty good. Maybe?

27. New York Jets 3-11 - That's the third (?) straight competitive game from these guys. I wonder what Johnathan Vilma is doing right now?

26. Kansas City Chiefs 4-10 - Well I think Herm's gone, so that sucks. Ever since I got bounced from my fantasy league's i haven't kept up with LJ's return. Is he still going to try and play?

25. Chicago Bears 5-9 - So, is there anyway the Bears can go up and get D-Mac? That would be some good stuff. I say go get him, sign McNabb and you got a team built for cold weather baby!

24. Cincinnati Bengals 5-9 - The Niner's? Really?

23. Oakland Raiders 4-10 - I still like this team. I don't know why, maybe its that crazy ass porter guy. He's funny.

The "Welp, we gave it shot, now who can we dump all the blame on" Tier

22. Detroit Lions 6-8 - Wow, I never thought this team was that good, but damn have they fallen.

21. Carolina Panthers 6-8 - Vinny didn't play last week because of what is listed as "general soreness." Insert Old Joke Here.

20. Denver Broncos 6-8 - Hmmm. I would still give Cutler another year. If they can shore up their d-line, then this team could be a breakout team next year.

19. Arizona Cardinals 6-8 - So much for my thoughts/hopes of this team making the playoffs.

18. Philadelphia Eagles 6-8 - Something has got to change for this team next year. I don't know if its Donavon, or the coach, or some def overhaul, but they need some help.

17. Buffalo Bills 7-7 - This is probably the worst .500 team right now. I mean come on they get to play the Jets and Fins twice!

16. Washington Redskins 7-7 - Glad to see Sean Taylor make the Pro Bowl. I hope they start just 10 men the first NFC def play.

Wow, could a 9-5 team really not make the playoffs Tier

15. New York Giants 9-5 - I really doubt they miss the playoffs, but they might. And trust me they will get DRILLED in the first round even if they do.

The Playoff Hopefulls

14. Houston Texans 7-7 - Despite the fact I hated the all red Jersey, looks like straight out of Any Give Sunday, watching Mario Williams play is fantastic. How this guy didn't get invited to Hawaii is beyond me. And I don't think they have a shot at the playoffs, but I wish they did.

13. Tennessee Titans 8-6 - Could this be the second year in a row this team just misses the playoffs? Yes it can.

12. New Orleans Saints 7-7 - Reggie is going to try and play, therefore this team is about to be out of the playoffs.

11. Minnesota Vikings 8-6 - Good D, great runners, shitty QB. If only this teams Defence was GREAT then they could have a shot at doing something. They make the playoffs but not my top 10.

Playoff Bound, bound to lose early that is, Tier

10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 9-5 - How is this team this good again? I've been watching but I can't seem to see it.

9. Pittsburgh Steelers 9-5 - You know what? Call me crazy, but i think this team isn't that good. They might just drop one more this year and then we won't get to watch that shitty field in Jan, and that sucks.

8. Cleveland Browns 9-5 - If Cle goes 11-5, I will buy a t-shirt that reads Cle Screwed the Boys" on the front. And "Hoseballs" on the back.

Playoff Big Boys

7. Seattle Seahawks 9-5 - Slowly getting ready to make that final push for Holmgren.

6. San Diego Chargers 9-5 - What if Norv lead this team to a title? How funny would that be? And how many time Marty try and end his own life?

5. Jacksonville Jaguars 10-4 - Man if this team can just not play Indy in the playoffs, they could win it all.

4. Green Bay Packers 12-2 - Way to go Farve, go get you some yards!

3. Dallas Cowboys 12-2 - See I told you i have a bad feeling. Let hope its just one game and not their usually collapse in dec.

Number 2

2. Indianapolis Colts 12-2 - They are starting to get some of that big mo going for um again.

And the Kings

1. New England Patriots 14-0 - Even when Brady plays like shit, Kool Aid is there to take the walls down.

Its short I know but I have been working on my College Football Bowl Guide, so stay tuned for that. Hard.

-The Biggster.

Eddie Jones, what the hell are you doing??

Apparently, Harvey the six foot rabbit can play point guard...

The Brown Five - 12/19/07

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) Who cares about the Pro Bowl?
I dont think the Pro Bowl has mattered in a LONG time. So for players to feel hurt if they get snubbed or for coach's to think they are being disrespected if more players from a rival are chosen is stupid. The Pro Bowl is not like other league's all star games. It has no weight and no substance. Larry Allen making it for 30 years straight and Roy Williams being a fucking alternate should tell you it doesn't matter. I care more about the quarterback challenge that gets played at like 2 in the afternoon on ABC in the middle of July.

2) The Falcons want Big Bill
As the VP of Football Operations, this might be a good move. Bill Parcells is not responsible for coaching the team, or even for executing any player moves, per se. He can hire a new GM (if they fire McKay), he can hire a new coach (Zimmer, Carthon, one of his guys) and Arthur Blank can point to a guy who has a track record for fixing shit storms. I think this would be a smart move by Blank, but he's got to beat Miami to the punch.

3) Someone practices with the Bobcats
An M. Jordan, no, that's too obvious, Michael J. MJ is the managing director of operations for the Bobcats and, for the most part, has been pretty quiet and unassuming in his role on the team. However, he claims that after watching the team sputter to an 8-14 start, he realized he needed to get in the room and watch film with them and show them how to work together and win. What's the countdown clock before he's lacing up again?

4) You're paying Silva how much?
According to Fox Sports, the Mariners have made an offer to Carlos Silva in the nieghborhood of 4 yrs/$44 million. What. The. Hell. Are we at a point where baseball owners just have a big ass pile of money and they don't care who gets it? I thought the Gil Meche contract was out of sorts last year, but Silva for $11 million a year? I think the real question here is, if Silva gets that much per year, is it crazy to think Santana won't ask for more than A-Rod money??

5) Just sports?
I stopped blogging on my old blog because I wanted to start this little blog instead. Since it's much more sportsy, that tends to be the slant here. Do I have commentary about the Spears girls being little whores? Yes. Am I going to share that? Maybe. Sorry for those of you who enjoyed my ramblings about MyFaceSpace or whatever, but unless I feel really compelled, I'm not gonna write it here.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Dubya? The Next Commish?

Tis the season indeed. One of the best times in sports is right now. NFL, Bowl games, NBA, NHL, College Basketball, and the hot stove season in the MLB. Recently I was at a Christmas party where, after a few drinks, the topic of the Mitchel report came up. It was pretty standard chat, but then we got onto the issue that something had to be done with baseball, and there needs to be a new commish. One of my good friends, who's opinions i actually listen to brought up a name i had never heard before, our current president George W. Bush. At first this thought was crazy to me, but the more and more he talked about it, the more and more it made since.

So i asked him to write something for the website. Explaining what "dubya" ment for Dallas's landscape to baseball, and more importantly to Arlington, a city halfway between Dallas and Fort Worth. Here is what he had to say.

Arlington, Texas, the Texas Rangers and President George W. Bush

In 1989 George W. Bush purchased a share of the Texas Rangers baseball franchise where he served as managing general partner for 5 years. During this time the Rangers and the City of Arlington agreed to build a new ballpark for the franchise. With this new ballpark the City of Arlington and the Texas Rangers hosted the 1995 All-star game and truly put Arlington on the map.

The growth of the Rangers and the construction of The Ballpark in Arlington (now known as Rangers Ballpark in Arlington) are a direct result of the efforts of George W. Bush. There were many people who worked to make sure that the Ballpark was built but the influence and affability of the future President are undeniable. As a result Arlington, Texas was to continue to thrive as a tourist destination thanks to its theme parks and brand new ballpark.

In 2009 the real legacy of George W. Bush and his role with the Texas Rangers will be realized. The Dallas Cowboys will begin playing home games in a brand new stadium in Arlington, Texas. I think it is only fair to point out how important a role President Bush indirectly played in this happening. Sure there were numerous attempts to bring the Cowboys back to Dallas but in the end Arlington is where they will call home. If not for the Rangers Ballpark in Arlington I don’t think the appeal of Arlington would have been the same.

Sure the Cowboys may very well have ended up in Arlington; after all it has a number of positives working for it. Still the Ballpark had to be the most attractive. Now in Arlington the Cowboys will have a state of the art new stadium next to one of the nicest ballparks in all of Major League Baseball. These things will in turn only help Arlington continue to thrive. With the Dallas Cowboys calling it home Arlington, Texas will now feature professional sports 9 months out of the year.

Only the future will tell what kind of legacy President George W. Bush leaves for the World. We now see what kind of legacy team owner George W. Bush has left. The Rangers have a great ballpark that brings millions of dollars in revenue each year to Arlington. The Dallas Cowboys will bring that much more. I think President George W. Bush deserves a great deal of credit for this. Like him or not his impact in Arlington, Texas is undeniably positive.

Thats the great work of our friend Nayfa.

Two big things come from that in respect to Bush and the job of Commish.

1: He has been an owner that helped create a new ballpark, meaning the owners who are trying, or will be trying to do the same thing can respect this man for what he did in the past.

2: His like-ability. Say what you want about hi job as President, the fact that he comes of as just a likable guy is without question. This is something that good ol' Bud has never been able to do.

Now I have no clue if Bush even wants to go this rout after his term is up, or even if he would be in consideration, but I do know that the idea of Dubya as the Commish of MLB, isn't that far fetched.

A Very Perry Christmas


The Brown Five - 12/18/07

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) Roy Williams, suspended
The horse collar tackle was pretty evident, and I can't really argue as to why he shouldn't be suspended. I just wonder what the big to-do is about it. Are the Cowboys really concerned that we won't have a no-tackling, can't cover, overpaid, over-rated safety on the field? Granted, Patrick Watkins is out with an injury, but Keith Davis is available. Last resort, throw Anthony Henry back there and let Jacque Reeves start in Henry's spot.

2) Reggie Bush wants to play
This is a bad idea. This time, I'm going to stay objective because, in all reality, I think Reggie Bush is "Marinovich" overrated. If Payton plays Bush at all the rest of the season, he's leveraging 2008. A damaged PCL can be run on, but it puts a lot more strain on the other ligaments in the knee, opening the door for a more serious ACL or MCL injury. My guess is that Bush realizes he wasn't being productive, and Aaron Stecker is, so he fears that when they're all healthy, McCallister included, then Bush might be the odd man out.

3) Rory pisses Tiger off, again
Really, Rory Sabatini has to be the stupidest golfer on the planet. He was down by 20 some odd strokes in Tiger's Target Challenge where, essentially, all the players donate the winnings to the Tiger Woods Foundation. Well, Rory decides he's just going to Petrino the field and quits before the final round, take his check and to fly to Hawaii for Christmas vacation. Of all the golfers to piss off, do you really think that Tiger Woods is the guy do piss off? Really? Isn't that dooming yourself to infamy? Even Fred Couples gave him the warning "not to mess with the wrong guy" in Tiger.

4) The Mavs beat the Magic, find some of their own
The Mavericks, who were on a bit of a downswing last week, are back on top after beating the Orlando Magic in the fourth quarter last night. Dirk reminded everyone why he's the league MVP by draining 11 of his 31 points in the 4th, including a 3 pointer in the last bit to help eek out a 111 to 108 win. We even had a "Dampier plays solid defense" sighting. Don't let me sugar coat it though, this came down to the last seconds. Orlando is a good team, scary good, and shouldn't be overlooked in the East.

5) No, I haven't ignored my school's basketball team
I watch and follow Texas basketball, but I NEVER comment on it. Contrary to football or baseball, Texas basketball is something that I refuse to comment on. Seems that the team does well and the moment I mention how well they are doing, they screw the pooch in such a royal fashion, it's almost endearing. So, you won't hear from me on it.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Brown's Bitch of the Week

I complain a lot. Really, I do. Why? I'm a crabby 60 year old man in a 25 year old body, I guess. I hate a lot of things in life, Big included. Every week I'm going to take the thing that bothers me the most and bitch about it. I don't give a flying fuck if you read it. If I think the internet is good for cathartic needs, who are you to judge? Ass hat.

This week's bitch: pink sports jerseys

Okay. You know this has been brought up because of the Jessica Simpson abortion (god, I wish) of the Cowboy game on Sunday. However, I've shared my thoughts on that, so I'm not going to rehash those.

This week it's more about this idea that pink versions of jerseys need to be sold to women. Doesn't this just set the "women as legitimate sports fans" movement a mile back? Who in their right mind looks at someone in a pink jersey and says, "I think that's a real fan."?

Listen, I understand how clingy bitches want to be around their boyfriends/husbands all the time. I've dealt with that before, but as annoying as it is, you can't let that nookie attachment besmirch your fanhood in such a way.

There is nothing "cute" about sports. Period. The idea that there should be a need for some kind of a "cute" factor of sports needs to be stopped. I've seen women at Texas games in pink Vince Young jerseys, I'm sure they make A&M 12 jerseys in pink, and we've seen the Cowboy version. I've been to Mavs games and seen pink Dirk jerseys, I've seen pink Michael Young jerseys, and I'm pretty sure a pink Modano sweater exists.

This extends beyond Texas, as we know Donovan McNabb's mother owns pink Eagles jerseys and god knows there's enough pink Red Sox shit to think they should be renamed the Pink Sox (in a lovely irony).

All I'm saying is, get some common sense and realize that if you were actually a fan, you are allowed to own the following: replica jerseys and throwbacks. That. Is. It.

Sorry if you were expecting something funny, but there is nothing funny about this. It's like seeing an obese guy walking up stairs. At first you shake your head in disbelief, and then you're wondering how someone could allow themselves to do such a thing.

UPDATE: Yes, I am aware that some of these pink jerseys are sold to support breast cancer awareness. However, I doubt more than 5% of people who buy them are aware of that. So for the 5% of people who are buying them to support NBCF or Komen foundation, this isn't towards you.

A Dallas Maverick Christmas

In a move taken from both Hardwood Paroxysm and The Dream Shake (Fantastic blog name, by the way), I present to you:

The Twelve Days of Christmas - the Mavericks Edition

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

A Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

A second chance at the finals (please)

and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

A triple double from Dirk

a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Some more depth at the four!

a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

A number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!

some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

A productive Stackhouse off the bench!

A number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

A win in a seven game series!

a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

The top of all eight seeds!

win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Nine Diop blocks (go get you some)!

the top of all eight seeds,
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Ten games of defense!

nine Diop blocks,
the top of all eight seeds,
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Less JJ Barea!

ten games of defense,
nine Diop blocks,
the top of all eight seeds,
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

A vintage Fat Lever jersey!
(inside out, a 21 would be a 12, work with me)

less JJ Barea,
ten games of defense,
nine Diop blocks,
the top of all eight seeds,
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!

The End

Oh. My. God.

In a move that will surely make Big's head explode:

Sources close to University President Mike Garrison have informed WBGV that Nick Saban’s agent has contacted WVU regarding our vacant head-coaching position.

Read the full story here...

The Brown Five - 12/17/07

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) The Cowboys lost because of inconsistency and injury
Don't kid yourself into thinking it was anything else. Romo had a bad day, and that happens to even the best of quarterbacks. You never get into a rhythym, you can't find your receivers, your line isn't getting off the snap and you've got no running game. You compound the inconsistent play with the key injuries to guys like Canty, Gurode, Watkins and Romo, and you're bound to drop a game. It happens.

2) Or was it because of a certain bombshell in the box
No. Listen, anyone who blames Jessica Simpson for the Cowboys' struggles is either going for comedy or is retarded. Here's the problem: FOX. There is absolutely no need to show anyone short of the athletes, the commentators and those associated with the game itself. I didn't need a cut away to Jessica Simpson every 2 minutes. For God's sake, you had Joe Buck commenting to his OWN FUCKING CAMERA CREW that they were turning Fox NFL into Access Hollywood. Let's get this straight, no one cares. I don't need sports commentary from the bubble gum pop radio station. And here's another hot sports opinion about Jessica Simpson: Not. That. Great. If you want to find a large breasted, man-face having girl who can't sing well and has an over bearing father, go to Baylor's campus any day of the week. It had to be said.

Some disagree

3) Browns and Bills, best game of the year
Thanks to the advent of the NFL Sunday Ticket, I spent my early afternoon watching the Browns play the Bills. This was the best 8-0 game I've ever seen because it was just disgusting and nasty weather. My entire television screen was white, and the wind and the snow made it impossible to see what was happening. It was football without any frills. Jam Jam Lewis versus Marshawn Lynch and the offensive line. Phil Dawson (former Texas great!) line driving a 49 yard field goal. Fumbled punts. Just greatness. Did I mention that Gus Johnson had the call? Oh yeah.

4) Rich Rodriguez, greener pastures?
Well, The FanHouse is reporting that Rich Rodriguez is leaving West Virginia to take the job at Michigan. To sum it up? West Virginia is pissed and Michigan is doing the happy dance. This proves that NO COACH is safe. No matter how committed they seem, Mack Brown, Bob Stoops, all of 'em are fair game to the sweet temptation of the cash. Only the Bowdens and Paternos are staying put. Well, benefit of the doubt to Rodriguez, he just said he was "interested" and he did pull out of the Bama job last minute last year, but this seems to be something everyone is running with. Big is shedding a tear because he loves him some West Virginia.

5) Dan Haren to the Diamondbacks
This was a trade that got buried in the Mitchel Report and weekend football, but should not be overlooked. It was Dan Haren for six prospects and, a separate trade, of Valverde to the Astros for Chris Burke (not from "Life Goes On") and Chad Qualls. The A's, under the Moneyball empire, ship off their stud pitcher for prospects. The D'Backs are obviously saying "we think we can win the NL this year" after a visit to the NLCS last year and now have a very formidable one-two punch with Webb and Haren, and a solid (NL) utility man in Burke. Who's going to close for them without Valverde is the question. A few more things to note with this move: the Astros have been quietly active this winter AND they have officially given up on Brad Lidge. See what Pujols will do to a man?

Friday, December 14, 2007

The Brown Five - 12/14/07

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) The Mitchell Report, okay, now what?
Selig says he's going to crack down, Fehr says he'll cooperate within the limits of players' interests. Sounds like the same thing. However, what I think the best thing to come out of it was, the MLB said, "independent party, take all the time and money you need to find the findings and bash us without mercy" They took the public sentiment and said, "you're right, we've got a serious problem, and now we're going to do our best to acknowledge it and try to fix it." Cheers to you, baseball, now let's see you back it up.

2) Bob Costas has the best solution
Costas (my favorite announcer of all time) was on Mike and Mike this morning and pretty much had the best solution regarding punishments and the Hall of Fame and the Book of Records. This isn't a direct quote, as I'm working from memory, but it's close enough:

"Asterisks mean nothing because you'd have to put them on everything. Instead have the very first page of the book of records say something to the degree of: baseball is the purist sport and the historical continuity of these records holds more solid than any other sport in the world. However, given timeframes, baseball has had certain conditions or circumstances that have led to the skewing of records. These include, but are not limited to: segregation and integration, day games and night games, lower mounds and higher mounds, and the so called steroid era of the 1990's. Keep the reference as you flip through this book that baseball has always had a circumstance or condition that threatens its context and continuity, but it retains itself more than any other sport. Then turn the page."

Couldn't have said it better.

3) Who's sorry now?
Mario Williams has proven that maybe Charlie Casserly wasn't playing give up a few years ago. Let's see: Demeco Ryans was last year's DROY and still plays fantastic football. Vince Young was the OROY last year, and granted he's slipping this year because he's trying to play pocket qb instead of freelancing which he does best. Mario Williams is second in the leage with sacks at 13 this year, and if you watch him, plays like a fucking man-child. Reggie Bush? Well, he's a glorified scat back who spends more time with Jared from Subway and Kim Kardashian's ass that he forgot what the hell he gets paid to do. Where's the media mea culpa?

4) I'm not sure what's wrong with Aggies
As a Longhorn alum, I'm going to try and be objective. Texas A&M has got a REALLY good basketball team. Scary good with a loaded recruiting class. That being said, they can't fill Reed Arena worth a damn. This makes no sense. This is a school that is so steeped in tradition it makes me sick. Granted, I don't know how they do it down there, but in Austin we'd pay $40 at the time of registration and you could go to the Drum to watch any basketball game for free. And when Barnes created the O-zone, it became that much more fun because we got better seats than the alumni did. I'm a little taken aback that a college that claims to have the best support group can't fill arena for the best thing they have down there.

5) Duke wants David Cutcliffe
And people want to say that the SMU job is a curse to a coaching career??? If Cutcliffe is smart, he'll wait and take a better job (come on, he made Elisha look good at Ole Miss) or he'll slip something into Phatty Fulmer's drink and take over at Tennessee. Don't do something you're going to regret and go to Raleigh-Durham. That's the ACC's doormat. No matter what Dorsey and Big want to argue about, I'm not sure they're going to say that being at the bottom of the ACC is any kind of a respectable position.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Gansta meets Math

If you love Hip Hop, like I do, and love math, again like I do. You will dig this site Its a bunch of Hip Hop terms put into graphs and charts. Here is a few of my favs.

And yes, I do crush a lot (no i don't)(but would like to)

I've had this injury before

Listen to everyone's favorite Gumbel describe the injury that Cooley sustained

Wow, and here I thought I was the only one who's ever hurt himself just trying to pass a dook.

(From Mr. Irrelevant)

The List!

From Deadspin, here's the list of all the players named in the Mitchell Report:

Lenny Dykstra
David Segui
Larry Bigbie
Brian Roberts
Jack Cust
Tim Laker
Josias Manzanillo
Todd Hundley
Mark Carreon
Hal Morris
Matt Franco
Rondell White
Roger Clemens
Andy Pettitte
Chuck Knoblauch
Jason Grimsley
Gregg Zaun
David Justice
F.P. Santangelo
Glenallen Hill
Mo Vaughn
Denny Neagle
Ron Villone
Ryan Franklin
Chris Donnels
Todd Williams
Phil Hiatt
Todd Pratt
Kevin Young
Mike Lansing
Cody McKay
Kent Mercker
Adam Piatt
Miguel Tejada
Jason Christiansen
Mike Stanton
Stephen Randolph
Jerry Hairston
Paul Lo Duca
Adam Riggs
Bart Miadich
Fernando Vina
Kevin Brown
Eric Gagne
Mike Bell
Matt Herges
Gary Bennett, Jr.
Jim Parque
Brendan Donnelly
Chad Allen
Jeff Williams
Howie Clark
Nook Logan
Rick Ankiel
Paul Byrd
Jay Gibbons
Troy Glaus
Jose Guillen
Jerry Hairston Jr.
Gary Matthews Jr.
Scott Schoeneweis
David Bell
Jose Canseco
Jason Grimsley
Darren Holmes
John Rocker
Ismael Valdez
Matt Williams
Steve Woodard

Read the full 400 page report here

Anyone notice a certain home run record holder's name missing????

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.


The Brown Five - 12/13/07

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) Like a breathe a fresh air
Anyone else noticing that with Billy King gone, the 76ers have put together a nice little set of games? Dalembert is starting to show signs of what they've wanted him to be. Andre Miller (oh yeah, THAT Andre Miller) is showing signs of life, and the rookies are starting to come together. Now, I've always been a Mo Cheeks fan, though I can't say why. Maybe a good GM does matter. More on that story in the latest issue of "Duh" magazine.

2) Mitchell Report due at 1 pm today
How many owners are starting to feel buyer's remorse for some players they've made moves for? How many players are starting to feel like their Dad is gonna find out they nicked the car? How many times have Peter Gammons and Karl Ravech mutually masturbated in Bristol today? I'm putting the over/under at 20.

3) From the desk of Bobby Petrino
Atlanta Falcons players,
Out of my respect for you, I am letting you know, with a heavy heart, I resigned today as the Head Coach of the Atlanta Falcons. This decision was not easy but was made in the best interest of me and my family. While my desire would have been to finish out what has been a difficult season for us all, circumstances did not allow me to do so. I appreciate your hard work and wish the best.


Bobby Petrino"
I'd like to add: "P.S. SOOOOOEEYY PIG!!"

4) TO and Me-Shawn
Why does anyone care? As long as Owens isn't calling out Phillips, Garrett or Romo, I don't give a shit who he's trashing. Keyshawn is standing up for the only coach who really gave half a shit about him, big deal. Owens is standing up for the coaches that are letting him have his best season ever. I've never been a big Key fan, and I've always been an Owens fan (yes, even when he was in San Francisco). Bottom line, who cares?

5) Cubs cut Mark Prior
Would you take a one year flier on this guy? How great was he when he first came out? Sure his arm was used more than Jenna Jameson's dildo, but still, after missing multiple seasons and rehabbing, would you sign him to a one year deal, just to see what he has in the tank? Think about it and comment.

The Second Turnbuckle

As we here at the Big and the Brown love all things sports, fake or real, we know that we don't have all the knowledge of some of our peers. We gladly move aside when someone who is an expert in a certain field wants to put his/her two cents in. With that said, here is what should be a weekly post about wrestling from our wrestling guru.

Here it is folks. The long awaited 3rd installment from El Blogador. With everyone caught up in the excitement of American Football, especially the teams from colleges, I will pick my winners for these bowl games. I'm not promising anything great. Being Mexican and working a computer make this project difficult. So this installment will be like watching a Barry Horowitz / Red Rooster / Repo Man triple threat match.

Poinsettia Bowl

Utah falls to Navy. Utah has nothing. Navy has the former actor/former governer Jesse 'the Body' Ventura. Possibly greater than Staubach?

New Orleans Bowl

Florida Atlantic over Memphis. It'll be a close one with Memphis having the power of Jerry Lawler behind them. But, by association through the Sun Belt Conference and North Texas, FAU pulls of a 'stunner' in the last seconds to win it. 15 people will rejoice.

Holiday Bowl

University of Texas beats Arizona State. There's nothing exciting here just Dead Bobby Duncum, Jr. and former 4-Horseman and Super Bowl Champion Steve "Mongo" McMicheal.

Independence Bowl

Colorado crushes 'Bama. Surprisingly, actually not that surprising, I can find no record of any professional wrestlers attending the University of Alabama. Colorado can say 'It's time, It's time, It's Vader Time!!' The former 'Boy Meets World' guest star is also a Colorado Alum with a degree in Architecture.

Sun Bowl

South Florida runs wild over Oregon. That's right brotha, watcha gonna do when Bullmania flexes it's 24' pythons and crushes the Ducks. Hogan did a few semesters as South Florida and Oregon has nothing.

Outback Bowl

Tennessee drops it against Wisconsin.........Wisconsin. The Vols have one time wrestler Reggie White but Badger has current and future superstar Ken Kennedy.

Chick-Fil-A Bowl

Auburn slips by Clemson. I search and search and all I can find is Kevin Greene former Steeler great had a stint in WCW when talent was pretty low.

Music City Bowl

After a great season Kentucky falls to the geriatric-led Seminoles. DAMN! Ron "Farrooq" Simmons was a star DE for the Seminoles and now has a great catch phrase and is competing with Ron Washington for best "George Jefferson Afro".

Fiesta Bowl

Sooners quiet the Mountaineers. You want to try to compete with OU when it comes to Pro Wrestling and all you bring is Pacman (former TNA tag team chamion) Jones. OU has Dr. Death Steve Williams and Good Ol' Jim Ross. "My God Pat White is broken in half, somebody end the match now"

and finally the National Chamionship Game

It's a stretch but there isn't much out there. The Buckeyes are National Chamions. OOOOOOHHH YEEEEAAHHHH!!!! Snap into it! and such. Macho Man was born in Columbus so I'm sure he rooted for The Ohio State University.

-El Blogador

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Oh Bobby, and the grass is always greener

Over the past week, we have had several things go down since I last wrote this article about all the college coaching changes in college football, culminating in the big nasty news last night that Bobby Petrino quite during his first year as head coach of the Atlanta Falcons to become the head coach at Arkansas. I would like to thank The Big Lead for the linking our little blog site last week.

Before we get to the douche that is Petrino, lets talk about some of the other places that got their coach, or haven't.

Georgia Tech - A reader named Richard K, who has to be a Georgia Tech supporter, made some great points on why they needed to fire Chan Gailey. While I am of the the old school way of thinking in that unless a coach rocks several bad seasons in a row, you might want to stay with him awhile. That said, they went out and got one hell of a college coach, Paul Johnson. Johnson has been the coach of the Navy Midshipmen for the past 6 years, and really turned that program around. Johnson was also courted by SMU and Duke. This is good news for you Yellow Jacket fans, especially if you like to watch a team run the ball about 80% of the time.

Washington State - Enter Paul Wulff. Well, I said they needed to go get a young up and coming coach, and that's what they did. Wulff is 40, and has been coaching the Eastern Washington near by. He is a State guy who wants to "make Wassu the team in Washington," and that he "hates purple." Right on.

Michigan - Despite his best efforts, Les Miles is still being linked to this job, and you know what, I still say he gets it.

UCLA - Nobody has been named yet, so their is still hope for Mike Leech. I am crossing my fingers for this to happen for the simple fact that I can make fun of all my Texas Tech friends.

Arkansas - And on to the big news of the week. Former coach of the Louisville Cardinals, and as of yesterday Head Coach of the Atlanta Falcons Bobby Petrino has been named coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks. Now unless your in Fayettville, either in body or mind, this has got to be looked at as a dick move. But before I get into that, lets look at how this guy stacks up for the hogs.

From 03-06 he was the Head Coach of Louisville, where his offense was great. He lead the team to multiply bowl games and helped them get respect, and helped them get into the Big East. He coached under Tommy Tubberville at Auburn as his OC in 02, and has some NFL experience as a QB coach, and OC with Jacksonville, 99-00, and 01 respectively. And of course 13 games as the Falcons head coach this year. I have no problem with coaches trying the NFL and then either not digging it, or not being dedicated enough to make it work. Ball Coach, Butch Davis, the list goes on. Its cool.

What I don't like about this move is when it went down. Petrino coached his Falcons team Monday, told his players "I'll see ya Wednesday," and then took the Arkansas job Tuesday. Douche. I know his players did really care for him, they thought he treated his plays like kids, but still. You took a job so at least go 3 more weeks. This is a guy hasn't been at one job for more than 4 years. So if he does just a decent job, don't be surprised if some bigger college program needs a coach, he will leave in a heart beat.

By the way Pat Forde hates this guy. Read his bashing here

There is still some stuff to roll out about all these guys, but the pic is getting clearer.

The Brown Five - 12/12/07

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) Petrino quits, and people are happy(?)
Bobby Petrino realized he was more Saban and Spurrier than he was Jimmy Johnson and decided to quit on the Falcons and take the job as the new coach of the Razorbacks. On ESPN radio, they had Brian Finneran, a receiver for Atlanta who said this was good because no one liked Petrino. Arkansas is happy because they have a successful college coach. What about Arthur Blank? Talk about a shitty, shitty season. Personally, I think this is the highest form of douchebaggery, and Petrino should be getting shredded all over the place for this crap. You had 3 games to go and you quit? Really?

2) TJ Ford's neck is like Grant Hill's ankles and Allan Houston's knees
TJ Ford has had spinal injuries for awhile now. I remember he was playing pick up basketball at Gregory Gym and hurt his neck and Rick Barnes wanted to kill a bunch of the intramural college kids at Texas. Anyways, it happened against last night when Al Horford hit him in the back and caused Ford to fall and smack his head on the ground. Horford was ejected, and Ford went to the hospital. That's some bullshit, and this is why the league needs to demand each team have a Charles Oakley. (I know this was unintentional, and TrueHoop tells how Horford immediately went to the hospital, but this is my chance to promote my "every team needs an Oakley" rule.)

3) Fukudome to the Cubbies and the Rangers get Fucked more
The guy I really really really wanted to see in a Rangers uniform made his decision to go to the Cubs for a 4 year/$50 MM contract. God damn it. You're telling me we couldn't afford that? I'm sick of this crap. He would have worked well. What did the Rangers do? They signed the reliever, Fukumore instead. By the way, he's injured right now. So, the two signings so far? An injured, crazy 29 year old outfielder and an injured 31 year old closer. Jon Daniels, Theo Epstein you are not.

4) I'm not sure this Isaiah thing can get worse
Really, now he's blaming the fans for the disaster that is the New York Knicks? Oh wow. You know, on paper, that's not really THAT bad of a team. I have to wonder if, given a good coach, they could actually see some success. Then again, they play in the East, and with those guys in Boston, I'm not sure about it. Speaking of that, please tell me you saw the Sportscenter commercial where they are asking for help on a nickname and do the "Three Amigos Salute". Comedy of epic proportions.

5) Mangino gets coach of the year.
I'll have nothing to add but this:


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Why I love professional basketball

Watch Rasheed Wallace...

...come on, he's doing the Carlton!!!

Power is in the eye of.....

Man I love this time of year! College football bowls are just around the corner (i will do a special post about this later), and the NFL season has been moved from a 32 team "everybody has a shot" league, to about a 20-24 team "oh shit we need to win" league. Just like last week, lets rock some playoff talk before we get to the horny strong NFL rankings.

In: New England 13-0, Indianapolis 11-2.

Leading division with games ahead.
Pittsburgh 9-4(1), San Diego 8-5(2)

Playoff Front Runners
Jacksonville 9-4, Cleveland 8-5,

Slight, needs some help, chances.
Tennessee 7-6, Buffalo 7-6, Denver 6-7, Houston 6-7

In: Dallas 12-1, Green Bay 11-2, Seattle 9-4

Leading Division with games ahead
Tampa Bay 8-5(2)

Playoff Front Runners
New York 9-4, Minnesota 7-6

Slight, needs some help, but a chance.
Washington 6-7, Detroit 6-7, Arizona 6-7, New Orleans 6-7

Game to Watch This Week
Denver 6-7 @ Houston 6-7 Thursday
Winner still has a shot, loser is out.

Jacksonville 9-4 @ Pittsburgh 9-4 Sun 12:00
Pitt needs to win to have a shot at a first round bye, and Cleveland will be cheering for Jac very, very loudly.

Arizona 6-7 @ New Orleans 6-7 Sun 12:00
Again winner still has a shot, loser is out, and NO needs to win to still have a shot at Div.

Buffalo 7-6 @ Cleveland 8-5 Sun 12:00
While not a must win for Cle, because 9-7 will probably get you in the AFC, but a win for Buffalo would really give them a good chance.

Detroit 6-7 @ San Diego 8-5 Sun 3:15
A win for the Chargers would all but clinch the Div, and the Lions need it to stay alive.

Washington 6-7 @ New York Giants 9-4 Sun 7:30
New York will get a playoff spot with a win, but Washington will be fighting to catch Minnesota for the last wild card spot.

Its going to be one HELL of great football Sunday! Now onto the power rankings for this week. Once again this is based on how the team would fair against a coked up swamp rat trying to protect her young, while constipated.

The Opps I Crapped my Pants Tier

32. Miami Dolphins 0-13 - I know they might be the worst team ever, but you are really going to first Cam Camron after 1 season? Give him at least one more shot.

31. San Francisco 49ers 3-10 - I am sad that Alex Smith didn't work out. I kinda liked that kid.

30. New York Jets 3-10 - I really like the idea that New England shouldn't even suit up a punter for this weeks game. Good line Bill.

Showing Signs that Next Year Could be Better Tier

29. St. Louis Rams 3-10 - This might be a good thing for the Rams. This team was ROCKED by hurt people, now they are going to get a solid pick from the draft. Watch out next year.

28. Atlanta Falcons 3-10 - Well, screw me, Chris Redman wasn't that bad. And a side note, I had to change the stations when Arther Blank made the statement about as long as Vick doesn't go "crazy with the Fried Chicken and Fries," he wouldn't be apposed to letting him back on the team. Uncomfortable.

27. Carolina Panthers 5-8 - See, I told you they should have taken a QB last year in the first round. Brady Quinn would have this team in the playoffs.

I Few Key Players Away Tier

26. Kansas City Chiefs 4-9 - No Larry, no playoffs, and probably, no Herm next year. It all makes me sad.

25. Chicago Bears 5-8 - Thinking back, this is what the Bears do. They are really good, then just OK, then bad, then really good again. All in 3 years.

The Should have been Better Tier

24. Baltimore Ravens 4-9 - The team has given up on its coach. Simple.

23. Oakland Raiders 4-9 - Doesn't really fit the tier. I think these guys are on the way up.

22. Philadelphia Eagles 5-8 - You know who I feel bad for? Brain Westbrook. If this team was 2 games better, he might be an MVP candidate. Now? Nobody cares.

21. Cincinnati Bengals 5-8 - Maybe this will be a wake up call for this team. If they don't make noise in the playoffs next year, Marvin will be gone.

The Playoff Circle Jerk Tier

20. Detroit Lions 6-7 - So, you can't get to 10 wins anymore. Sorry bout ya Jon. Now the question is, can they win one more game.

19. Arizona Cardinals 6-7 - Fun Fun game this week. They need to win, and I hope Robo Jesus Arm comes's through.

18. Washington Redskins 6-7 - Very solid win over the Bears. Need to ride that high this week.

17. Denver Broncos 6-7 - Jay Cutler, right on man. I know a certain friend of mine who will be wearing his oneze this week.

16. Houston Texans 6-7 - Every time I write this team off, they come and push forward. If Andre Johnson didn't get hurt this year, he would be right up there with Moss and TO.

15. New Orleans Saints 6-7 - Well, take a fancy toy away from a kid and he will have just as much fun just playing in the yard. The fancy toy is Reggie Bush, now that he is done for the year, PCL, Sean Payton can't over think his dumb ass.

14. Buffalo Bills 7-6 - So, the Bills still have a shot? I don't understand the team, except they play hard, and with a few bounces their way, they would be 9-4. Crazy.

13. Tennessee Titans 7-6 - Despite the loss to Sand Diego, with Hanseyworth back on the D-Line, in my opinion this team has the best shot to get in out of all these teams.

The I Can't Believe This Team is this Good Tier

12. Minnesota Vikings 7-6 - Every game I expect Travis to fuck up. Welp, that gansta ass just won't do it. Even when Adrian goes for like 10 yards, they win. I don't want to play this team.

Holds Their Own Destiny Tier

11. New York Giants 9-4 - Every time i watch these guys play, I don't see how they are 9-4. They seem to get out played every game, yet they win. Fuck if i know.

10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 8-5 - The great unknown. Much like Kansas and Missouri from college football, this team kinda came out of nowhere, and they need to be put back in their place. But its not going to happen.

9. Cleveland Browns 8-5 - Is this team coming back down to earth a little bit? They barley beat the Jets. But a win is a win, and they are only 1 game back of Pitt with 3 left. Still got a shot at a home playoff game.

Won't Win it all, but will make some noise in the Playoffs Tier

8. Seattle Seahawks 9-4 - Mat Hassellquarterback has been just bad ass these last few weeks. If he keeps playing like this, and the coach doesn't shoot em in the foot, watch out Green Bay or Dallas

7. Pittsburgh Steelers 9-4 - This was the team that was going to beat New England huh? So the reason I don't have team higher is I still don't know who they are. Last 3 games are like this. Bad Weather win, Bad Field Win, and Blown out by the Pats. Need we start the "Overrated" chant?

6. San Diego Chargers 8-5 - If this team doesn't win at least 1 playoff game, I expect LDT to "hot Carl" Phill Rivers after the loss.

5. Jacksonville Jaguars 9-4 - This team is about to jump to the next tier, but the lack to winning a big game is hurting them. They will get there shot on the road, during the playoffs. I would love to see Jacksonville @ San Diego in the first round.

Top of Conference Teams

4. Green Bay Packers 11-2 - They rolled the lowly Raiders. As they should. Of all the teams already in the playoffs, this is the one that i think could get beat early.

3. Indianapolis Colts 11-2 - Watch out, they are getting healthy. Still has the best shot to beat the pats.

2. Dallas Cowboys 12-1 - Won a game they shouldn't have. That's what good teams do. The thing that I liked the most about the game, the adjustments at half time. What I didn't like was the defense as a whole.

Best Ever Tier, again

1. New England Patriots 12-0 - Well, it seams the only reason the other games were close these past few weeks is they didn't have anything to get for. They did this week, and they rolled. They have a reason again this week because its against the team that started the whole cheating thing. They will the last game because of a shot at 16-0. Team with the chance to beat them over the next 3 weeks? Miami. Yup. Its going to happen.

Well once again i have wasted not only my time in writing this, but yours by reading. I am sorry. I still love you though.