God agrees with me because he has decided to try and kill anyone who dares perform at halftime.
Kristen Johnson is a professional escape artist whose specialty is getting out of handcuffs and leg irons while being fully submerged in a tube of water. Since that one trick is more thrilling than anything the Thunder have done on a basketball court this season, they booked her for the January 16th game against Detroit.Take heed, Oklahoma. God does not approve of your state, Clay Bennett, or magicians.
It was a great idea ... right up until the point where Kristen went into hypoxic seizure—that what's happens when your brain runs out of oxygen—in front of 17,000 NBA fans. It look her a bit longer than usual to get out of the chains, so her temporarily lifeless body had to be pulled from the tank before she drowned in front horrified onlookers.
Side note: Football is done, and now you're wanting to focus on basketball. Fear not, sexy reader, I am putting together a long post to bring you up to speed on the season and your Dallas Mavericks.