Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Josh Howard reflects on the Mavericks loss



Howard: Fuck! We lost? I'm getting high right now.

(smoke a bowl in locker room)

*cough* *cough* *cough*

Shit.

Holy Shit.

I can't believe how stoned I am right now. I'm stoned like Doritos.

(Reloads)



Kidd: Josh! What the fuck are you doing, man!?

Howard: Whatchoo talking 'bout, Vanilla Cookie?

Man, if I wansta smoke after a game, I'mma smoke after a game.

It's the offseason baby!!

Aw shit, I miss Devin Harris.

(takes another hit)



Terry: Josh, come on, can't you at least wait until we're done here? You can get in some serious trouble with Mr. Cuban!

Howard: There's nothing wrong with hitting a little bit after the game. It cools my nerves. I mean, bring on the offseason. I ain't gonna lose my mothafuckin' job, my Drivers Select endorsments, my Ricky Smiley show appearance. Deez Nuts loves them some J-Ho Baby!!

Terry: Josh, I'm trying to help you, man.

Howard: Motherfucker, you want help me, then help me finish this bowl, baby!



Barea: Yo quiero uno toke, Senor HOward.

(Howard passes Barea the pipe. Barea runs around in circles doing nothing but waiting until the last possible moment when the cherry goes out, and then hands it to Stackhouse who is not paying attention. Stackhouse makes a desperation inhalation to keep the cherry lit, but is too late.)

Howard: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(Lights it back up)

Remember that time, we were in the finals and got those tacos in Miami?

Best tacos ever.

Terry: That was a Jack-in-the-Box. You bought $20 worth of 99 cent tacos.

Howard: Really?

(stares blankly at Terry)

Motha fucka! I got one of those near where I live!



Dirk: Goddamn JEWS!!!

2 comments:

grungedave said...

Josh Howard...

worst. character. ever.

/Towelie

monte said...

genius!