The New Basketball Season is Almost Here!!!!

Told you it was Puppy Friday

So, we're just under a week away from tipping off the new Mavericks season. I'll be honest, I'm not holding onto the greatest amount of hope that the Mavericks can do a lot of damage. The West is still more powerful than the East, and the Mavs's division is RIDICULOUS.

Shit, New Orleans, San Antonio, Houston in the same god damned division. Then you look at the rest of the West and you've got the LA teams, New Orleans, Denver, Golden State, Phoenix, and my "team to fear this year", Portland. You can only pick 8 of those to go playoffs and contend? Yeesh.

The Roster (projected starters)

Guards

Jason Kidd
Well, here we go again. He's another year older, and he's coming off an Olympic summer where he couldn't spend the entire time resting his styrofoam knees. He's also sponsored by a Chinese shoe company. He showed that he is a great mentor, and a great teacher...but look who he's teaching

J.J. Barea
Oh. Dear. God. No. If you haven't been reading us, then I'm going to let you know this fact. Juan Jose Barea is the personal whipping boy of The Big and The Brown.

Jason Terry
Personally, I don't see JET finishing the season a Dallas Maverick. I like Terry, I do, but I think that he's not going to fit in the Carlisle mentality and system. That being said, he's the only legitimate number 2 scorer on this team if Howard doesn't find himself, so here's to hoping Terry has "that" season.

Gerald Green
Darling number 2 of the preseason, and offseason move de jour. Green has openly said that he still has a lot to learn and he can't depend on his insane hops to be a formidable player in this league. He's been fantastic in the preseason, but that's the preseason. Show us you can do it for real, because with Barea and Kidd at point, you're going to see a lot of Terry slipping to the 1 and Green playing for the 2 if a combo isn't available.

Combos

Josh Howard
All hail, Captain Controversy! After a terrible season last year, the end of last season's pot admissions and this summer's anti-Star Spangled Banner stance, Josh Howard is going to be the most scrutinized player on the entire roster. Period. At his best, Howard is the most tenacious defender on the team and the legit second scorer behind Dirk in the front court. At his worst, he's Antoine Carter. This is our only hope to match the crazy of Ron Artest a few hours south on 45.

Devean George
I hate this guy. Avery brought him in because he was supposed to be a "defensive specialist". I call him, waste of court and bench. The Mavs were able to unload Eddie Jones, now let's focus on pushing George out the door like I was ousted from our softball team.

Jerry Stackhouse
Just like Jason Kidd, here's another guy who's got A LOT of miles on his tires. I don't know many people who don't like Stack. He's a gamer and he's the only guy on this team, at times, who shows any energy and drive to slash in the paint. That being said, he's old and frail and can't do it anymore.

Antoine Wright
Darling number 1 of the preseason, and an Aggie to boot. Acquired in the Jersey trade, Wright raised a few eyebrows last year and has been THE guy this preseason. I find Wright to be a very curious case, and I think this could be another one of those Donnie Nelson diamonds in the rough kind of players.

Forwards

Dirk Nowitzki
Not much else to say, but to quote Simmons: This is going to be the "EFF YOU AVERY" season. As long as Dirk is healthy, this team has a chance to win any game.

Brandon Bass
Bass is one of those guys that we're not sure of. I mean that. He reminds me of Joaquin Benoit and the Rangers. He's too good to sit or let go, and he shows flashes of greatness, but he hasn't consistently been the guy you need him to be. Beacuse of that, teams want Bass and the Mavs are always toying with the idea of packaging him. I say, don't move this guy. Let him learn under Dirk. Bass can be a solid off the bench guy and eventual starter when Dirk reaches Jason Kidd's age.

James Singleton
Signed with the Mavs this summer for the veteran minimum. The way the Mavs like to flush out the roster every offseason. Make no mistake, Singleton is going to be the black Austin Croshere.

Shawne Williams
This was who the Mavs got back from Indiana for Eddie Jones. Williams is a young guy from Memphis who was suspended for the first few games of last year for not adhering to standards of behavior for the Pacers. That's the Marquis Daniels Pacers. Shit. Williams isn't a dazzling scorer, but he's got range and has gone on hot streaks. He's not a crash the boards forward and he's a shoot first, drive later kind of guy. He fits the Mavericks, but I dont know if that's saying much.

Centers

Erick Dampier
Ahh yes, the more things change, the more they stay the same. I could probably cut and paste the phrase "it depends on which Dampier we get tonight" from any number of posts and text messages over the past couple of years. I stand by that. When Dampier is on, then he is one of the best fives in the league...oh yeah, he has to put up with Shaq ribbing him again, so let's see what that does.

DeSagana Diop
What did you learn in New Jersey, my large African friend? Probably nothing, but at the least, we know the center tandem of Diop and Dampier was enough to win the West a few years ago. Diop needs more size to really bang down under with the big guys, but he does have a better defensive skill set than Dampier. I'd expect Diop to develop a rapport with Kidd and advance his offensive skills as well. I wouldn't be surprised to see Diop starting over Damp in mid-season.

Coach

Rick Carlisle
Well, well, well. I wasn't a big fan of this, and I believe I had a post about it. I was never a big believer in the "Avery is the reason we failed" theory, but maybe Rick Carlisle is the breathe of fresh air this team needs. I don't really know. Maybe Carlisle is the Maverick's version of Wade Phillips, and we're really just dancing with disaster...I can't get a bead on him, that's for damn sure.

The Team

The Mavericks aren't in an enviable position this year. Come to think of it, the "traditional" Western Conference powers are in danger of getting pushed out by the younger teams like New Orleans, Utah and Portland. Everyone on this team is going to have to bring it all 82 games because this is a division and a conference where no one can recover from too bad or long of a slump. Everyone else made moves to get stronger, and the Mavs seems to go lateral. Here's to homerism trumping pragmatism!

Try not to laugh at that....

Introducing, PUPPY FRIDAY!

There's a lot of stuff happening this week and into this weekend.

-Cowboys attempting to save their season
-Big college football games
-North Texas's homecoming (Big goes for drunk fame, I go for drunk infamy)
-World Series games
-Cold front in the area
-I test the new air filter registers I just installed at the house
-And a whole slew of other activities...

HOWEVER, the thing I want to bring to attention is a little move known as "High School Musical 3". I have my own set of thoughts on this, but I came across this entry at FilmDrunk.com, and all I could do was stand up, salute and wipe the tear from my eye.

"This movie is going to make a billion dollars. You know what I call that? Poetic justice. This is exactly what all of you sex and violence-hating pussies deserve: a nation full of gay kids. Because you know what you get when you take nudity and gun fights out of movies? You get a bunch of f-cking kids doing a big musical number about basketball on the basketball court. Then you hand your son a basketball and tell him to go play and wonder why he just stares at it like it’s a stage prop. Look at that f-cking picture! I gazed at it a little too long and all of a sudden I was French-kissing a man. Just imagine your kid sitting through two hours of that. That would make a lumberjack love cock.

But I’m sure it’s fine. Just make sure you send him to one of those camps that cures gay people, where they make him bunk with 20 other gay kids and all the counselors are guys who were gay until they learned how to conquer their queer with Jesus."

God bless you, sir. God bless you.

college football round up week 8 - ho hum sat

Why Mike Leach? Why not? He makes me giggle.

I was listening to Mike and Mike a little bit this morning on ESPN radio (the ticket, live 105, the edge and even kidd kradic were all on break), and they had the ever fun "email the show with your questions" segment.

First off i hate how nationally syndicated shows do this. They are scared to take calls because either they don't have the want, or they don't want to sound partial to one area of the country. Both of which are bullshit. If they don't have the want, how are we to know that bill from Washington isn't a made up name that they give out there so they can talk about something they want to talk about under the guise of "listener email." Did he really want to here what you guys think about the throwing ability of Jason Campell, or did you just want to give your opinion on it?
I'll end that tangent there.

Here is what they were talking about, and I'm sure the "real" email read like this:

Dear Mike and Mike.

I love your show! You guys are the best show ever! I listen every morning and think golic is stupid, and greenberg is gay. JK JK JK!! ha ha, you guys are awesome. My question for you guys is, Do you think any college teams will finish the season undefeated? If so, what two have the best shot? Thanks a bunch!

-Dave, Hillsbourgh Texas.

Of all the email that probably gets sent to these guys, this is the one they pick to talk about? I'm pretty sure they could of just asked each other during a segment "hey golic, yes greeny, what two teams have the best shot at going undefeated?" Do we really have to pretend people listen to your show and email in about that crap? That's like the whole Barry vs. Emmit stock shit you find on the WWL these days. I guess i shouldn't be surprised, and to be honest, its not a bad discussion, but to play it off in a an email segment doesn't do it any justice does it?

Thats just me, and I've kinda lost my train of thought. Lets get to the rankings.

Main Eventers.

No. 1 Texas (win 56-31 No. 11 Missouri) - Sunday was my birthday, and the older you get the less of a "lets get fucked up beyond all belief" birthday you want. That said I still like celebrating my birthday, so I tried to think of something fun to do that was a little different, and yet not "go to strip club." Then I remembered that not only was Texas plays Missou sat night, but the free UFC card was going to be on spike, so what ever I did i wanted to make it where I could watch both these things. We decide on Hooters for dinner and then a local sports bar afterward.

My local UT die hard and buddy Brown wasn't with us that night, because apparently he's an alcoholic, so there were no UT grads with our party, but the bar made up for all that stuff as it was decked with UT fans. About 30 min into the game I stoped watching the UT game and focused on the UFC fight. It was that bad, that quick. So much for that whole idea "Texas defense wasn't as good as their numbers" bit.

No. 3 Penn State (win 46-17, Michigan) - Holy crap I can't believe I have a Big Ten team in the top 2. I'm not saying Michigan is that great, but its still a nice win, and it looked like they would hang with and possible even upset the Nitty Lions during the first half, where they were up 17-14 going in. But then JoPa gave one of those half time speeches, pooped himself, and they team was ready to roll again.

Daryll Clark is the teams best player at QB, but this game was won on the offensive line, and by the RB Evan Royster, who netted 174 yards on 18 rushes.

No. 2 Alabama (win 24-20, Mississippi) - A lot of people are saying this Tide team is going to have to play a second half at some point this year to win a game. I thought was kinda silly to say, so i went back and looked at the numbers. Second Half Scoring, Bamma first then opponents: VS Ole Miss 0-17, vs UK 7-14, vs Georgia 10-30, vs Ark 14-7 and blowouts before that. That's a little scary no?

Granted they outscored opps in the first half by like a billion or something, but its something to keep an eye on.

No. 10 Georgia (win 24-14, No. 22 Vanderbilt) - I might be the only person that still thinks Georgia deserves a top 5 spot, but I still set back on the fact they have only one loss, to a top 5 team, and if they can win out, they will have 4 wins over top 25 teams, and another over Auburn. They have the talent, but its their, how you say, marbles that need to be checked.

This week they beat a good Vandy team, and Knowshawn had 172 on 23 carries. Nice.

No. 8 Oklahoma State (win 34-6, Baylor) - In the conference of top notch QB's and passing games, Okla light is built around a stout running game, and defense. In what a lot of people were calling a trap game, after a big win over Missou, and before a showdown in Austin, the lowly Baylor Bears are a better team than your average (Baylor) Bears. Didn't happen. Baylor had 204 total yards, only 42 on the ground, and couldn't put up points after the first quarter.

Mid Card Guys.

No. 4 Oklahoma (win 45-31, No. 16 Kansas) - I think when all is said and done, Oklahoma will be a top 3 team again this year, and if I were ranking on teams I don't want to play, they most def are in the top 3. Kansas may not be as good record wise as they were last year, but when they pulled it to within a touch at 24-31, i thought they were on the way back, but a couple of big drives by the Sooners put that idea to bed.

Sam Bradford has to be the front runner for the Heisman right now. Against Kansas he went 36-53, 468 yards, and 3 touchdowns. Toss in two guys who rushed for over 80 yards, and you have a staggering total offensive yardage of 674!

No. 7 Texas Tech (win 43-25, Texas A&M) - Kinda scary first half against the Aggies, as the Raiders were down three at half, then they realized they are playing the Aggies, and rolled in the second. Graham Harrell threw the ball 56 times, and only had 12 incompletions. Most staggering stat though, Tech was 10-12 on third downs.

No. 6 USC (win 69-0, Washington State)- I really wish USC had another game against a good team this year. This might be the best all round USC team since the Leinart-Bush team. 362 to 88 was the rushing yardage of USC vs Was State. Holy crap. Another crazy stat, in 6 games, they have allowed only 47 points, and 21 came against the Oregon State game. So 5 games, 20 points.

No. 5 Florida (idle) - Is it fair they dropped in my rankings because they didn't play anybody this week? Maybe not, but they did. But they have plenty of chances to move back up in two weeks when they play Georgia.

No. 15 Boise State (win 27-7, Hawaii) - I said I wasn't going to put Ohio State back in my top 10 this year, but if they beat Penn State this weekend, I might have to. Till then, Boise is my 10th team, the BCS buster vets. The blue turf was good to them again, as they picked off Hawaii 5 times in this Friday night game.

Developmental Guys. (not the next best teams, but some teams to watch out for)

No. 23 Pittsburgh (win 42-21, Navy) - The opening season loss to Bowling Green had most people saying Pitt was all hype, but since then they have rattled off 5 straight wins, including a win over South Florida. They stand atop the Big East right now tied with West Virginia, at 2-0 in conference play.

Arizona (win 42-27, No. 25 California) - Came back from down 10 at halftime to rout the Bears, and don't look now, but Zona is 3-1 in the Pac 10. They play USC this weekend, and should they pull off the shocker, they are sitting pretty for a run at the Rose Bowl. Yea, right!

BCS Busters.

No. 15 Boise State (win 27-7, Hawaii) - See Above.

No. 14 Utah (win 49-16, Colorado State) - Still have to play both TCU and BYU.

TCU (win 32-7, No. 9 Brigham Young) - Say goodbye to the Coogers chances of a BCS bid. I don't like to say I told you so, but I told you so.

Tulsa (win 77-35, UTEP) - Hey, they are 7-0, and putting up some points! They haven't scored under 37 all year.

Big Up to all my Haters upset of the week -

No. 12 Ohio State (win 45-7, No. 20 Michigan State) - OK, its not an upset, but the score is upsetting. OSU should beat Michigan State, but to roll them like that was the most surprising thing I saw sat. I really thought State was better than that.

Local Love

TCU (win 32-7, No. 9 Brigham Young) - All ready mentioned it a little earlier, but damn TCU can play defense.

Southern Methodist (loss 38-44, Houston) - I totally agree, just another kick in the crotch for SMU. Houston isn't a bad team at all, but June Jones should start winning these games sooner rather than later.

North Texas (loss 23-35, Louisiana-Monroe) - Hey, they only scored 35 on us! Its not important that it was all in the first half. Vizza went for 360 and 2 TD's, but more importantly, no pics. This weekend is homecoming against Troy. The game might get ugly quick, but i will promise at least one fun story next week from the booze intensive Saturday that homecoming brings this man!

Have good and get give.

Reader Submission: The Bear Growls...

Here at The Big and The Brown, we encourage our sexy readers to submit pieces of their own brain for fodder. Hell, sometimes we dare them...Steve, looking in your direction, buddy. Anyways, here's an entry from our famous friend, The Bear.

As always, this is just cut and paste, so take up your bitching with him.

Ok… so if you’re all like me you’re trying everything that you can do to try and put any sort of positive spin on the Cowboys anemic losses the last couple of weeks. Maybe you have a remote control sticking through the screen of your TV and you’re now having to start bargain shop for a replacement? Either way, the Cowboys that we have been watching the last 2 games are playing like crap and should all get a stiff kick in the groin because they “should” be better than they have been playing. Well, maybe I can give a little ray of hope to this team and the fans out there.

What are we dealing with? In business when you have a problem, the first thing to do is get to the root of the issue and correct it. Hopefully turning things around.

Is it… Injuries?

Yes we have had some serious problems with injuries this season. Although last year we were blessed with few injuries and rode that to a 13-3 record and a disappointing playoff ousting to the eventual Super Bowl Champion New York Giants. But it can’t be just the fact that we have Tony Romo (Pinkie Finger), Terrance Newman (Abdomen), Felix Jones (Hamstring), Kyle Kosier (Foot), Matt McBriar (foot), Anthony Spencer (Hamstring), Kevin Burnett (Calf), Pat Watkins (Neck), Roy Williams (Forearm) or Sam Hurd (Ankle) missing games or limited in their play time? Well… when you look at that list… Yes! It doesn’t help to have a laundry list of injuries to a team where after the starters the depth just doesn’t seem to be what we thought it was. Actually, Brown brought up a thought point during last week’s 30-24 overtime loss to the Arizona Cardinals if our coverage would be any better with Roy in the backfield? Well… anyone notice who was trailing Donnie Avery’s 42 yard TD grab in the 1^st quarter? Yes sir… that would be Mr. Williams himself, and guess where he went after that? To the trainer to look at his “arm.” Although the Cowboys are definitely troubled in the injury department with key losses of Romo, the shifty Mexican Felix Jones and a critical part of the secondary with T New I think the root lies somewhere else.

Is it… Locker Room personalities?

This team is definitely full of personalities with T.O., Pacman Jones (well, not really there now), Tank Johnson (though haven’t really heard from him since arriving here) and dare I say Tony ‘Simpson’ Romo (love the guy, respect the guy, despise his glee for the spotlight). But from all accounts there doesn’t seem to be any rifts in the Locker Room. All the media types will cut, and edit tapes from the game to show Romo with his Sad Panda face, or T.O. barking at anyone in ear-shot and complaining he doesn’t get the ball enough, or Pacman making it rain to make us all believe that there’s too many Type A personalities on this team. I again don’t think this is the problem. As Coach Jimmy McGinty once told Shane Falco about wanting the ball “…winners always do.”

Is it… The Coaching?

Let’s admit it… We all Love Wade Phillips. We all feel that he is everyone’s lovable Grandfather and isn’t hard enough on his players, that the Cowboys are able to roll over Wade Phillips and don’t pay attention to anything he says! Well, maybe he is, but again I say we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Maybe we think we do because we felt privied to a peak behind the curtain while watching ‘Hardknocks’ on HBO during the preseason. Or every time something good happens on the field he’s running and jumping down the sideline fist pumping like it’s the first time it’s ever happened (well lately if something good happened I’d probably do the same thing). Maybe it’s that Brian Stewart doesn’t understand what the term “Defensive Packages” are? Or maybe it’s that we have anointed Jason Garrett as the second coming of Norv Turner (Say what you want, but you can’t discredit his offensive numbers during his tenure here)? I do think that the coaching has a lot to blame through this, but I feel like I will need to pinpoint this, and I will because ultimately all the blame should go on the coaches.

So what does the Bear feel is the problem with this team? THE LINE! What? How can it be the line when everyone touted just how big and powerful they are? How they are bruisers beating people up and wearing defenses down? Well just as how the blame falls on the coaches for losses, the effectiveness of the offense and defense falls on the lineman… Offense and Defense! Everything starts with the play at the line of scrimmage. Having played on the line on both sides of the ball before you know that the game is determined there. If the O Line is able to get a push then that creates room for the Running back. If the D Line is able to get a push that clogs the holes for the Running back. If the O Line is able to pick up a blitz then it gives time for the Quarterback to make his reads. If the D Line is able to get pressure then it prevents the Quarterback from making his reads.

How about the Defensive Line first? After watching these seven games I have yet to see this Defensive front to get consistent pressure on the quarterback. Yes, Demarcus Ware has a sack in 10 straight games, and recorded 3 sacks on Bulger, but for the most part… those are coverage sacks. For those who don’t understand what that is… that’s when all the receivers are covered downfield, and the longer the quarterback holds the ball the more time it gives the rushers to get to him. How many times did we just watch Bulger, Warner, Campbell, McNabb just take a 3 step drop and have time to look through their progressions 2 or 3 times? I don’t care if it’s Tarvaris Jackson standing back there, if you have as much time as we’re giving Quarterbacks to throw of course we’re going to get thrown all over. I don’t know what they can do to correct this. Maybe Tank need to bust out his Prison strong mentality and start busting some heads? Maybe we need to start trying out Barbie Carpenter a little more because at least he’s faster than Zach Thomas (Whoa… did I really say that?)? Was the loss of Aiken Ayodele and Jacob Ferguson really that critical to the defensive front? I don’t think so, but we need to play better on the frontline to start pressuring these Quarterbacks, and we can do it. Look at the Cleveland game. The Cowboys did not allow Derek Anderson to get comfortable in the pocket and when you can do that to a Quarterback they will start to force things and that turns into incompletion’s, or possibly interceptions (which we only have 2 on the season).

So how ‘bout that Offensive Line? They’re Big! They’re Slow! They’re getting out smarted! I was thrilled to see in the offseason when the Cowboys brought back Hudson Houck as the O Line Coach. This is the guy that coached Larry Allen, Eric Williams, Mark Stepnoski, Nate Newton and Mark Tuinei to 22 Pro Bowl appearances among them. But what the hell has happened with this group? This is still a good line, that should be able to do what everyone expects them to… Beat the living crap out of any defensive line they face. Yet time after time they look confused with the different blitz packages teams throw them. They look out hussled on the edge by shiftier, more aggressive Defensive Ends. They look lost! Maybe it is that they hear all the hype about the size, and potential of the line and think they can just show up and pound the line of scrimmage? Maybe the loss of Kosier was more serious than we all thought? Whatever it is this Offensive line is to blame for Romo’s finger. This Offensive Line is to blame for McBriar’s foot! This Offensive line is to blame for TO’s abysmal numbers. I’m sorry if this sounds a little harsh, but Offensive Lineman aren’t supposed to be glamorous attention whores like the drunk girl at the bar who doesn’t care how bad she’s dancing as long as she’s getting attention. Offensive Lineman are the group that is supposed to show up to work before everyone else, leave after everyone else, and at the end of the day when the game is won and all the cameras and reporters are interviewing the Backs they get on the bus and get ready to go back to work for the next week. No Glitz, No Glamour, just Football!

Which would you rather have?

OR

In the ongoing effort to avoid the jinx, let's just pretend that this is a totally hypothetical situation, okay?

Let's say you had your alma mater blazing the college football scene. They're legitimate favorites to win the title this year, and they've passed every test thrown at them this year.

Let's also say that the professional team you follow has spit the bit and is dangerously close to sucking all of the life from its fan base. A fan base, no less, that is threatening mutiny against the coach.

Let's also say, the two are directly related.

Which would you rather have? A National Championship for your alma mater, or a Super Bowl for your professional team.

The college window is extremely small. Given the turnover of students athletes, a team can have a window of maybe one or two years to put together a solid, experienced team to have a legitimate shot to win the whole thing. Even within those one or two years, everything has to go perfect. Every game matters, and a single slip ruins everything. Everyone else's schedules matter. The team is at the mercy of a screwed up polling and computer system.

The professional window is only slightly larger. Free agency has let to a turnover rate of players in the blink of a contract. Games can be lost, as the season allows for recovery, but playoffs are playoffs are playoffs and a single bad game can ruin the fun. The team is at the mercy of it's own set of egos and general jack-assery.

So, sexy reader, which would you rather have for yourself?


Again...this is totally hypothetical...it's not like anyone writing on this site has this situation currently presented to them. Nope, not a single one.

Panic!?! Don't mind if I do!!!

34-14

Ouch.

The Cowboys were every body's darlings at the beginning of the season. Everybody said they were the team to beat in the NFC.

Then comes week one.

A convincing win over a team that last year was a 10 win team.

Tom Brady gets hurt.

Week Two:

Shootout with other "good team" Philly in Dallas has people believing that Dallas now is the best in not just the NFC, but the NFL.

Week Three:

Goes to Green Bay and puts a whoopin on the Packers at Lambau.

Week Four-Six

Gets "upset" by Washington, barley beats a bad Cinncy team, and gets beat by Arizona.

Now 34-14. To the Rams.

Time to panic.

What can they do to turn the ship around?

Answer is simple.

Fire Wade Phillips.

If Jason Garret is the end all be all, let him have the rest of the season to prove it. If he can get this team in the play-offs and make some noise, its his team for the next 5 years. If he can't get this mash up of extremely talented players to the post season, he doesn't need to be here either.

And if he can't. Time to money whip Bill Cower.

These are dark days for the Cowboys, and over the next 3 weeks, we are going to see what this team has for balls.

If the season ended today, Cowboys are out of the playoffs.

Think about that.

No! No! No! No! Never! Never! No!

I know what we're running away from...

Disturbing news today from my arch-nemesis, PETA....

"PETA is asking the owners of Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown to take a $50 million cut in pay.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has sent a letter to owners Michael Iavarone and Richard Schiavo begging them to castrate the colt"

Why? What did we ever do to PETA beside enjoy a nice steak?

What's worse is that I can think of about 5 ex-girlfriends of mine who would be willing to sign this petition...jeez, it's not like I didn't punch them in the stomach when I was done to make sure nothing bad happened.

"Are you guys alive and paying attention?"

How Brown feels these days...a coked up Brit.

The obvious answer to your question is the picture above.

No. Apparently both of us have jobs that pay bills and such.

Personally, I'm going to say shock, really. I mean...so much going on, and everyone is covering it already.

Time for quick hits...

-Tony Romo, breaks pinky (apparently it was a Cardinal sack, and not providing Jessica with that extra dirty loving that white girls appreciate). Originally thought to be out four weeks. Receives phone call from Brett Favre. Now claims to want to play this Sunday in St. Louis. I guess that can only mean that Brett Favre really is God. Now how about curing Michael J. Fox's Parkinson's, Brett? We want, nay, we need Teen Wolf 4.

-Terrence Newan, still injured.

-Felix Jones, torn hamstring. Felix is out for 2-3 weeks. So much for Jerry's Razorback Wunderkind. Lucky for us, I truly believe that Tarshard Choice is a solid back up to Barber. He isn't the flash that Jones is, but he certainly is better than anyone else in recent years.

-Pat Watkins, still hurt.

-Kyle Kosier, injured Jew. Big, we're looking in your direction.

-Flozell Adams, shoulder stinger. Technically this is the equivalent of temporary paralysis...yet somehow he still gets false start penalties. I wonder how well this will go over in 2013 when he's still under contract.

-Roy Williams, still injured. No one cares.

-Roy Williams, new addition. To quote a text message I sent to Big, "Finally, the REAL Roy Williams has come back to Texas!" I take full credit for this. I bet Jerry read this. I don't have anything else to say, except it was quite the week for Texas fans.

-Let's see, did I forget anything? Anything? Anyone? Beuller? Fry? ...Ahh yes, Q-bert strikes again. Pacman Jones, out for 4 games, minimum, maybe forever. You have one responsibility, don't fuck up. You sit out for 1.5 years and you are consistently reminded, don't fuck up. You see what happens to Mike Vick, and you're reminded, don't fuck up. You get a daily allowance from Jerry Jones with a note saying, don't fuck up. You finally get a taste of freedom and what do you do? YOU FUCK UP. I hope I'm not the only one who thinks Pacman Jones is slowly patterning himself after Brooks from "The Shawshank Redemption". He only knows how to exist "on the inside", and when he was finally free, he killed himself.

That's the worst comparison I've ever made. I'm sorry.

Oh, and to apologize for the Amy Winehouse picture above, here's an olive branch...

Megan Fox in a Star Wars T-Shirt. She'll never do me wrong. Ever.

"Barbie Carpenter Suck Watch" : Day 898

"Bobby Carpenter doesn’t have the upside of a lot of the linebackers in this draft, but he looks like a safe bet to be a solid NFL linebacker. As long as his ankle checks out fine - and it should - Carpenter will be a Day One selection and should move on to a successful NFL career."

--Football's Future, 2006

Don't worry, we'll be okay.

As sexy reader, Carl B, pointed out to me this morning, we've suffered a broken foot and our racing career is over.

Godspeed, you fucking horse. Godspeed.

College Football Round Up - Week 7 - The pay Off

Mack get to Be the Cracker this Week!

Did you like that little Saturday of college football? I hope you did. In the greatest month of the year, we had what could have been one of the more entertaining Saturday of recent memory. Not only did we see 3 top 5 teams go down, but we the build up for the rest of the year only intensifies.

One more side note before my rankings. How bad does Georgia feel this morning? They have lost only once, and it was to the current number 2 team in the nation, yet they are ranked 10th. That's behind Florida(lost to unranked team), USC (lost to unranked team), and Oklahoma (just lost to number one team). So your telling me that loseing to Texas is 6 polls spots more impressive than losing to Alabama? riiiiggghhhtttt.

This is my top 10, in two tiers, in wrestling terms.

Main Eventers.

No. 5 Texas (win 45-35, No. 1 Oklahoma) What can I say about this fantastic game that hasn't already been said? Texas did what they needed to do to win, played just enough defense to win, got some love from the kicking game, and just flat out won the game. I really hope the Horns don't rest of their morals, they have a pissed off Mizzou team coming to town this week. !!!!EDIT!!!! Tommy Bowden just got canned in Clemson. Why did I put this here? I'm calling it, Muschamp goes there!!!!!

No. 2. Alabama (idle) - Seriously, we need the SEC and Big 12 championship game winner to battle for the BCS title. Please don't take this from me. Bama didn't play this week, and they probably liked it that way.

No. 6 Penn State (win 48-7, Wisconsin) - OK, so maybe Wisconsin isn't as good as people thought they were, but putting up 48 on them is crazy. State did it with Passing, Rushing, and Special teams on Saturday night. Daryll Clark had 244, and 3 total TD's. It was about 3 or so weeks ago I said i wasn't going to put a big ten team in the top ten yet here Penn State sits, my number 3 team in the land.

No. 7 Texas Tech (win 37-31 OT, Nebraska) - Yes, the had to take the Huskers to OT, but a win is a win. With a team like Tech, you always here about their great QB's and WR's, and this year is no different with Harrell and Crabtree, but what won them this game was the play of Sophomore running back Baron Batch. 10 Rushes, 97 yards, with a long of 49. He has that big play, take it to the barn at any moment, that complements the spread so well.

No. 11 Florida (win 51-21, No. 4 LSU) - LSU got by during the first 5 weeks of the season on the idea that last year they were very good, and this year they were going to bring back the same defensive mindset that made them so good last year. Thing about that is, that was last year. This year, they allowed 265 yards on the ground to Florida. 265! Freshmen Jeffrey Demps averaged almost 13 yards a carry, and had over 120 yards.

Mid Card Guys

No. 10 Georgia (win 26-14, Tennessee) - Florida gets the nod over Georgia for fact they have beaten better teams, but the Dawgs aren't far behind them in the one loss category. 26-14 looks kinda close, but the game really wasn't at all. Georgia out gained Tennessee by over 200 total yards. Matt Staford had a very Romo like day, going over 300, but trowing the 2 picks that kept Tenn in the game.

No. 17 Oklahoma State (win 28-23, No. 3 Missouri) - I am a big proponent of undefeated with an easier schedule is better than one loss with a hard schedule, but I can't put Oklahoma State in front of the two big one loss SEC teams yet. The win over Mizzou puts them in my top 10, and gives them a legit shot at a BCS title. But so far that is the only real nice win they have. They play Texas in 2 weeks, so we shall see.

How did they beat Chase Daniels? Getting in his head and picking off 3 passes helped, so did holding them to 2-9 on third downs. Another young star, Kendall Hunter, had a nice game running the ball for the Cowboys too, 24-154. Last week vs. A&M was the only time he hasn't gone over 100 this year, and he got damn close with 90.

No. 9 Brigham Young (win 21-3, New Mexico) - Another day, another win for BYU. I put them up this far to remind everybody that they play TCU this Thursday, and its going to be one hell of a game.

No. 8 USC (win 28-0, Arizona State) - Watch out for the Trojans, as they have now beating the two teams in the pac 10 with that had the best chance of upsetting them for a pac 10 championship, Oregon and Arizona State. Joe McKnight carried this team with his biggest game of the year, 12 touches, 150 yards. They have a real good shot at sneaking back in this thing.

No. 1 Oklahoma (loss 35-45 No. 5 Texas) - Texas doesn't have an easy road to hoe, they have Mizzou, OSU, Tech and A&M still to play, so it isn't crazy to think they could lose 2 of those games. If they do, Oklahoma will be right there to retake the number one slot in the south. Bob Stoops beter have his boys ready, though, they have Kansas and the fighting Mangino's coming into town this week. Either they will play pissed off after the Texas loss, or be so dejected that Kansas can steal one in Norman.

Developmental Guys. (not the next best teams, but some teams to watch out for)

No. 23 Michigan State (win 37-20 , Northwestern) - There goes Browns Vandy-Northwestern BCS game, but Michigan State isn't a nobody. This team can play a little bit. They got a running back by the name of Javon Ringer, who already has over 1,000 yards and 14 touchdowns this year. He's a nice looking back at 5-9 202lbs.

No. 22 North Carolina (win 29-24, Notre Dame) - As much as I think Notre Dame should have won this game, UNC has a nice little squad. WR Hakeem Nicks went over 100 yards for the third time this year with 141 on 9 catches vs. the Irish.

BCS Busters Watch.

No. 14 Utah (win 40-7, Wyoming) only 242 yards, but 40 points. Wow.

No. 15 Boise State (win 24-7, Southern Miss) - remember when Southern Miss was the next big thing? Not so much anymore as Boise held their QB to under 50% completion percentage.

No. 25 Ball State (win 24-7, Western Kentucky) - 200 yards on the ground will make even the coolest mascots hang their head.

Big Ups to all my Haters upset of the week could go to any number of team, but I'm going to give the nod to Mississippi State with their 17-14 upset over No. 13 Vanderbilt. Thus putting Vandy back in their hole, with their shine box.

Local Love

Tulsa 37, Southern Methodist 31 - Last second shot fail for the Ponys, but after Listening to June Jones talk today, he thinks the team has taken a step, and they now believe that they can win those type of games. Unlike......

Louisiana-Lafayette 59, North Texas 30 - I don't know if UNT can beat Euless Trinity right now. At one point, early in the third, i got a text, "hey man, we just scored and the score is 35-27 and just forced them to punt, I'm feeling it man!" Followed 2 mi nets later with "never mind we just through a pick, we suck again." That's some Dodge Ball brother!

TCU 13, Colorado State 7 - Ahh yes, TCU the only local team with some gusto. I know they are more than 6 points better than Colorado State, so I hope they were just looking foward to this weeks Sunday night bru haha vs. BYU. Frogs vs. Mormons, you can cut the Hate with a butter knife.

Tony Romo's finger is broken!!

HOW DID IT HAPPEN!!!

Was it from a sack?


Was it getting kicked in the finger?


Too much Guitar Hero?


No!

It was....




THE IRON KEGELS OF DOOM!!

How to fix the Dallas secondary....

The red part is the defense. It's bleeding. The offense is blue. It's cold.

You're probably wondering why I'm writing all the Cowboy posts and not mentioning a certain football program from my alma mater. If you think I was scared of jinxing them before, you have no idea now. Not even Dorsey can pull me off sides with his Alabama chatter.

I already addressed the Owens situation, so I wanted to follow up with the Dallas secondary.

Wasn't this group supposed to be the most feared in the league? Newman, Henry, Jones, Jenkins, Scandrick, Hamlin, Williams (HA!), Watkins and Davis?

Let's go through that again:
Newman - Injured. Again.
Henry - I love this guy. The fact you never hear about him or his side of the field should tell you something.
Jones - Might have the iron hand of Der Kommisar Goodell laid down upon him
Jenkins - Rookie
Scandrick - Rookie
Hamlin - Does a fine job as well
Williams - Injured. Can't cover bread with peanut butter and a knife.
Davis - Special Teamer
Watkins - Hurt.

Oh boy.

So how do the Cowboys fix the leaks? Well, one advantage that Dallas has that they really didn't have before is they still have a pass rush. Yes, I said it, they still have a pass rush. Remember when there was no Ware and Ellis? Exactly.

The trade deadline is tomorrow. I say, make a deal.

I'm fully aware of the fact that's much easier said than done, but hear me out.

Newman has proved his an injury risk, and when he did play this year, I believe he was made into someone's bitch. I like Newman, but if he's not 100%, he's a liability. The Pacman move hasn't exactly lit up the way we were all expecting it to, and if Goodell does take action, I say cut your losses and send him to Northwest Highway with whatever you can in singles.

So, who do you give and who do you get?

There are two immediate thoughts that come into my head:

1) Nnamdi Asomugha out of Oakland. I've been out there the past 5 or 6 weeks. This kid is good. Really good. And he's been franchised. I don't think the animated corpse of Al Davis is going to want to franchise this kid AGAIN or pay him the contract it would take to keep him on that sinking ship. Davis has already tied up a stupid amount of bonus money in terrible ideas like Tommy Kelly and Jevon Walker, I just doubt he can afford to keep one of the actually good players he has. Make a deal, send him big names that we have and he'll be happy. Really, I'm not kidding. Davis might be conned into taking Pacman (boy, talk about a good time, DeAngelo Hall and Pacman on the same team!) or the Cowboys can package something. Jerry Jones is Al Davis when Al Davis was a true architect (70's-80's)...see what you can muster.

2) Lito Sheppard out of Philly. Yes, I'm aware that it's more likely to get Champ Bailey than to trade with a division rival in a division that is ungodly competitive right now. Even Peter King thinks this isn't the worst idea. Philly was trying to move Sheppard before, and they pretty much signed his death warrant by bringing in Samuel this offseason. Jerry Jones has pulled off weird shit before, I'm thinking maybe a 11th hour miracle could be put in play.

I don't claim to have the solution, but I know that over the next 6 weeks, the defense is going to have to win games because without Romo, a terrible offensive line, and the special teams acting like swiss cheese, the rest of the team isn't going to do a damn thing to win.

The Curious Case of Terrell Owens

I'm going to start this by updating what I've already written. The Wild Card might be the target this season as it just came down that Romo is out for 4 weeks with a broken finger. Bad news for Cowboy fans. More reason to hate Jessica Simpson and her iron trap kegel muscles.

I'd like this picture if we were happy fans right now...

Terrell Owens. Some people see his name and think of a dude doing sit ups in a drive way. Some think of one of the greatest receivers to play football. Some think he's a walking Orville Redenbacher's commercial. Me? I dunno, I'm probably the second option leaning to the third.

Anyway, if you've seen the past few games (or read box scores and reviews like me) you'll see that Owens hasn't done much. Has he faced lock down corners? Not really. Has he been ignored? Not really. In fact, both Romo and Jerry Jones have said that they are trying to actively get the ball to Owens, quite possibly to the detriment of the rest of the offense.

Now, more than ever with the Romo injury and the hemorrhaging offensive line, T.O. Owens needs to get the ball and needs to make plays. The question is...how?

Innovative routes? Trick plays? The Wildcat formation? Change jersey numbers? Change his last name to Ocho Uno? Jason Witten becoming Antonio Gates?

The curious case is solved not by Owens or Romo/Johnson/Bollinger, but by Patrick Crayton.

If I'm a defensive coordinator and I'm playing the Cowboys, here's my strategy:
- 4 man rush against the week offensive line.
- 2 linebackers rushing the quarterback
- 1 linebacker spying or dropping back to cover the slot/flat
- 1 corner and 1 safety dedicated to Owens
- 1 corner for Crayton
- 1 safety playing zone or robber, if not blitzing

(See? Even my alcoholic brain managed to figure out the Dallas offense...)

The Cowboy offensive line has proven they can't stop a wet sneeze, so the extra combo of Witten or Curtis with a running back have to stay in to help protect the pocket. That leaves the two receivers on the outside. I can dedicate double coverage to shut down Owens, a guy you can bump off his route and he won't recover before my rush gets to the quarterback.

What about Crayton?

No one. I repeat, no one is afraid of Patrick Crayton. The Cowboy offense is not built around having two receivers. It's Owens, a check down to Witten and then a check to the flat. You remove everyone else and go man on Crayton, you'll stop him more than you'll get burnt.

Patrick Crayton has to instill the fear of God in defensive coordinators so they are kept honest and must open the coverage off of Owens to cover Crayton or decrease the rush, thus giving Romo the time he needs for Owens to free himself off the bump.

Think about Arizona, a bonefied two receiver offense. Boldin's out, but the Cowboys can't pull coverage off of "receiver two" and put it on Fitzgerald. Steve Breaston has the best game since his Wolverine days. Why? The offense is catered around both Boldin and Fitzgerald. Just because Boldin isn't there, doesn't mean the Cowboys could ignore him, so Warner has a wide open Fitzgerald to throw to, and Breaston breaks coverage if the Cowboys try and play off him to get Fitzgerald. Now you've got two first options, your check down to Pope and then the check to the flat. The two receiver offense at work.

Patrick Crayton must destroy other defenses CONSECUTIVELY and prove things to three people:
1) to Jason Garrett that he has a second/first option to build into the playbook
2) to Tony Romo that there is another option to look at prior to checking down to Witten
3) to Defensive Coordinators that they must fully respect Dallas's two receiver set and they can't commit to a 8 man rush AND a double up on Owens.

Once Crayton (or another legit number 2...) becomes that "fear of God" threat, then you'll really see Terrell Owens have the break out he needs.

The Middle 12, or the Big East (wait that really is something)

Can't take credit for this one, but a buddy sent me this email. Thought it was funny. Here you have it.

The Big 12 compared to the Middle East:

-TEXAS: Iran. Somewhat of a controlling power in the region but it will all come crashing down because they have a highly functioning retard as a leader.

-KANSAS: Kuwait. Tons of riches and unrealized potential, but still vulnerable to Iran.

-NEBRASKA: Iraq. A wealth of history but the country as a whole is going in the tank and they will kill themselves off before it's all over.

-OKLAHOMA: Saudi Arabia. A proud kingdom, once torn up by fighting but known for historic past and prosperous future, surrounded by Iran and Iraq , with fanatics in Al-Qaeda (see below) who'll stop at nothing to bring them down.

-MISSOURI: Syria. Evil schemers who will stoop to whatever level they need to win. No real history to speak of but thinks they are the cradle of civilization.

-OKLAHOMA STATE: Al Qaeda. No real country, just a movement of disgruntled fanatics who live to destroy the hope of those more fortunate. No other goal in life than to bring down the House of Saudi Arabia. Terrorizing that country in the late 90's and early 2000 years is the crowning achievement in their history. Signing day was a major setback to the movement. They are fanatically loyal to their new leader.

-KANSAS STATE: Palestinian territories. No one really cares or worries about them unless they can be of some use (i.e. winning a battle once in a while against Iran that causes a bit of shake up in(rankings)

-IOWA STATE: Qatar. Where is Qatar? Is it in our area?

-Texas A&M: Afghanistan. Not much going for it other than the crazy- commoners.

-BAYLOR: Israel. None of the others understand why they're in the area. Just leave them alone for God's sake. What did they ever do to you?

-COLORADO: Morocco. Not really part of the Middle East. Have other things to do than fight (or play football). Rumor is you can always go there for a good time.

-TEXAS TECH: Libya. Has a charismatic leader in a land of nothingness who will rattle his sword but knows he doesn't have a whole heck of a lot to back it up. Pulls the occasional sneak-attack and cries 'Victory!'

You should read the Seattle paper tomorrow

Why?

Because there's a chance you'll read a story of a certain suntanned superhero blogger getting arrested.

Why?

I'm standing on Qwest field where I believe Tony Romo muffed a certain field goal snap, and after all I've drank, I feel the need to defecate.

Did Microsoft pay to rent the stadium tonight? Yes.

Did I meet the Sea-Gals cheerleaders? Yes.

Does bubble turf absorb watery, beer-based human stool? We're about to find out.

Godspeed, Dallas. Don't forget the Cowboy fans who give of themselves.

College Football Round up - Week 6 - The Set Up.

Holy Crap, maybe now I can get one of the 4 Hot Chicks

At our school! Hazaaa!

Last week we had the crazy upset Saturday that always happens in college football. Something like 9 teams from the top 25 lost, including several from the top 10. This week we saw a return to form so to speak, as all the top dogs not only won, but did so with some gusto.

Even thought, that doesn't mean the weekend wasn't full of good times. I hate to bring this back to wrestling (no i don't, i do it when ever I can), but to have a truly bad ass main event, you need to do certain things. Yea, it's cool to see John Cena vs. Dave Batista, but if its just a Monday night, and you flip on the TV, and Jim Ross says at the beginning of Raw, "Tonight we have a special match, Cena vs. (dave) Batista." Your excited, you know its going to be a good match, but you aren't really that invested in such a short feud.

How much better would John vs Dave be if over the last 3 or 4 or 5 weeks, each guy kept talking about the other one. Kept beating people up and then grabbing a mike to say "Dave, this is what I'm going to do to you." The anticipation is what makes people buy PPV's in wrestling. It's what keeps smucks like me watching week to week. All the build up and then POW! the match is here and you are pumped.

That's what happens in college football every week. You take certain games and circle them, saying this is going to be a good game. Then every week you cheer for both teams, hopping that each looks good and plays well so that when they finally do meet, they are both undefeated, at full strength, and popping on all cylinders. Everybody loves a fun little upset, but everybody loves the Main Event at the PPV even more.

That's what this week was about. Building the drama for the next couple of weeks. Here is the rundown.

Main Eventers

No. 1 Oklahoma (win 49-17, Baylor) - Normally this score wouldn't surprise me in the least, but Art Briles, the Baylor coach, brought over with him this kid Robert Griffin, who is a freshmen QB, and can out right play. He is the typical athlete QB, who makes plays with his feet. I thought the Sooners were going to have their hands full. I was wrong. The 52 yard bomb in the first 3 min was the message they wanted to send. They look stronger than Ive seen them in years coming to Dallas this weekend to play the Horns.

No. 4 Missouri (win 52-17, Nebraska) - I really thought the Huskers were going to give Chase Dainiels a run for their money in the North this year, but just like the Oklahoma game, 3 plays into this one, Missouri sent a message that they weren't overlooking shit in this game. I know Missouri's offense was good, but putting up 462 yards of total offense is crazy.

No. 5 Texas (win 38-14, Colorado) - I'm sure the majority of Texas fans watched the OU game earlier in the day, and thought to themselves "well, if they can do that, just watch what we are going to do to a better Colorado team!" Why? Because that's the way most Texas fans think. Thank goodness they did what they did. Now this sets up the super fight that everybody wants to see this weekend at the State Fair of Texas.

No. 4 LSU (idle) - Are they for real? We find out this weekend when they go to Florida. The night cap of Main Event Saturday.

No. 2 Alabama (win 17-14, Kentucky) - The phrase "trap game" gets thrown around alot, and in this case was true. The Tide needed all of Glen Coffee and his 225 yards rushing, because the "make or break" guy on the team, QB Jon Wilson, almost broke them against a shitty Wildcat team. On an interesting side note, my sports company did the Frisco Centennial game this weekend, and their QB is a stud, and he just committed to Kentucky. Interesting note(not really).

Mid Carders

No. 6 Penn State (win 20-6, Purdue) - I'm going to regret this, but I am really starting to like JoePa's team. I will regret it because they are in the Big Ten, and they will probably lose this week. The dual treat QB Darl Clark proved he can do a little something something through the air this week, going 18-26 and 220, but it was the Defense that really proved they can play, holding a so-so Purdue offense to just 241 and 1 late TD. Time to prove your worth, they go to Wisconsin this weekend, who's pissed they pissed away a game vs. OSU.

No. 7 Texas Tech (win 58-28, Kansas State) - On the road, against a team many thought would upset you, Tech rolls out 38 first half points. Grahm Harrell goes off for 454 and 6 TD's, doing his best impression of "don't forget about me bitches." They now have Nebraska at home, who got lit up by Mizzou, at Texas AM, who got lit up by Oky State, and at Kansas, who can't stop anybody from scoring on them. Look at what could happen in the next three weeks, Texas beats OU then goes down to Mizzou, LSU gets rocked by Florida, Penn State can't handle Wisconsin, Alabama gets shocked at Rocky Top in 2 weeks, and Mizzou can't score enough to beat Oky State this weekend, look who's your number one team, Tech! It sounds crazy, but not all that crazy.

No. 9 USC (win 44-10, No. 23 Oregon) - At the end of the year, when we are looking at 4 or 5 one loss teams, somebody is going to say "Look USC, they are playing the best football in the country right now, they should be in the championship game." And a small part of me will die.

No. 8 Brigham Young (win 34-14, Utah State) - Just for shits a giggles, what happens if the Tech scenario plays out that way, know who your number 2 team in the land will be? The Mormons. What can the BCS do if BYU is the only unbeaten team at the end of the year? They will be in the top 3 for sure if that happens, but will they keep them out of the championship game? Don't worry to much about this one, BYU will drop a game, probably to TCU.

No. 19 Vanderbilt (win 14-13, No. 13 Auburn) - I don't really think Vandy has the 10th best team in the nation, but they do the 10th or so best shot at getting to the BCS championship game. The win over Auburn gives them some legitimacy, and if they rock out the rest of the SEC conference schedule (they won't) they are in the hunt fo sho. The win also gives offensive coordinators in the SEC nightmares about having to play another good defensive team. You know what keeps Vandy warm at night? That's right, those degrees.

Deveolpmental Guys. (not the next best teams, but some teams to watch out for)

No. 21 Oklahoma State (win 56-28, Texas A&M) - I was kinda pissed they didn't have this game one TV somewhere, not because I'm a big Aggie guy (i am), but I really wanted to watch OSU play, and more specifically, Zac Robinson get his 5 TD's.

Notre Dame (win 28-21, Stanford) - I know its only Stanford, but a win Saturday brought the Irish record to 4-1. That's almost bowl eligible! I'm not going to say that this team is back, and are ready to take on the top 10, but I have been pleased with what the Irish has been doing recently. Jimmy Clausen when 29-40 347 and 3 td's. This week they get a solid UNC team, and if they win that one, they need to be looked at like a top 25 team again.

BSC Buster Teams

No. 17 Boise State (win 38-3, Louisiana Tech)

No. 15 Utah (win 31-28, Oregon State)

Big ups to all my haters upset of the week is not from a game, but just form an idea of life. Ball State is ranked, and that's fantastic. Silly sophomoric driven Bloggers(read:us) are excited that Ball State is ranked.

Little Bit of Local Love.

TCU (win 41-7, San Diego State) - Held SDSU to 85 total yards, including -13 rushing. That's what I'm talking about.

SMU (loss 31-17, UCF) - almost at bad a loss as.....

UNT (loss 42-10 Florida International) - I have a feeling we might be looking at a 0-12 record. yeesh.

My New Favorite non Cowboy NFL Star

You Can't Controll what the Ball do! Its Crazy Man!

Chad Ocho Cinco.

This is stolen almost verbatum from The Mighty MJD.

Here is some quotes from Chaz Cinco.

On wanting to become a Cowboy someday.

"Let me tell you, I don't mean to be funny ... I'm not tried to be rude or [tick] anybody off, but if I was in Dallas, they would have to change all of our damn games to pay-per-view because you need to pay to see that [stuff] ... Because you can't just watch a show like that for free; 81 and 85? Come on, now. Please."

"Tell Jerry Jones I said hello, and give me a call some time."

On "showing respect" if he scores this weekend in Irving.

"That's America's team. It's one of the greatest organizations ever. This week, to show my respect for Dallas and its owner, Jerry Jones, I'm going to score and I'm going to kiss the star. I'm telling you, I'm not being rude about anything, I'm going to kiss the star."

On "leting the old 85 back out"

"We are 0-and-4. So therefore, I think my mouth needs to start running again, and get this [stuff] going, excuse me. Whether you like me or not, whether you like the stuff that I do or not, it ain't right. We 0-and-4, and I'm gonna get it stirred back up the way it used to be ... I told Mr. Brown, early today in practice, I'm lettin' the cat out the bag. He ignored me."

And the best for last, On why the Bengals suck this year.

"Think about this: You remember our '05 season right? Our '05 season we were unbelievable. Our '05 season is the year everybody went to jail and got arrested. That year everybody got in trouble. So maybe the bad was a good thing ... We have cleaned house and nobody is getting in trouble anymore, no DUIs, no arrests, now we're getting our [heineys] whopped. Maybe, I don't know, maybe I should go out, have a drink, get in trouble."

Man, that guy is FUCKING CRAZY!

I love him so.

So, there's a man and woman arguing on TV tonight...

Me, watching any television these days

This isn't a political post, so my rule still applies. If you try and make it one in the comments, you'll wish to God I don't find out who you are because I will scoop out your innards with a god damned taster spoon from Baskin Robbins and then let the Bear play in your guts like he's a pig in shit.

Apparently, there's a debate tonight between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin, the vice presidential candidates. If you haven't been watching television, this is, supposedly, going to be the most watched and scrutinized event in the history of television. Ever. As in, if you don't watch this, you will be considered some kind of dirty Canadian and smarmy, know-it-all ass hats will look down on you with disdain.

I'm not a follower of politics. Not because I don't want to be uninformed, but because I don't care. It's not apathy, because I actually am aware of issues and how the government is handling it, I just don't care one way or the other what someone has to say about it. Run a "Wizards of Waverly Place" marathon on the Disney Channel versus a House Subcommittee meeting on C-SPAN, and chances are, my television is tuned to the Mouse. (Note: this happened for a week straight at a La Quinta.)

I keep hearing about how this is the most important election ever, in America's 232 years, there has never been a more important election. "Vote or Die" I'm told, like if I choose to abstain from voting, somehow my face will melt like "Raiders of the Lost Ark".

Look, every election is important. The only reason it's "more important" now than before is that the media and stupid people have more tools than ever. 24-hour news networks, blogs, YouTube, all of it. If you want to have a voice, you can share it, and thereby you believe you'll influence some throng of people to think like you.

Here's the bottom line, and I can't make it any clearer: No one cares what you think.

I mean it.

It's like Fantasy Football. That's great, you play and you have like 4 different teams in the leagues you're in. That applies to you and you alone. I don't want to hear about who you have on what team because your thoughts don't apply to me.

I don't need Wolf Blitzer, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Jack Cafferty, Bill Maher, or a gaggle of actors and musicians telling me what they think of Sarah Palin shooting a moose or Joe Biden telling a crippled man to stand up.

Go form your own opinion about issues and those that represent them and, most importantly, KEEP THEM TO YOUR FUCKING SELF.

Don't try and engage me in a debate or conversation. Don't pollute my ears with your discourse on how Bush has either fucked the world or helped the world. Don't waste my time trying to explain how Obama loves gay people or McCain hates blacks. I don't care, and the chances are, no one around you cares either.

I should mention that this only applies to political opinions. Sports debates are fun and cheeky.

This had better not be a joke

You remember being in high school or college and you realized way too late in the game that you've spent the entire night hitting on a girl who was really just a cock tease in the worse kind of way?

(I can't say this has happened to me. Not because I have awesome game or anything, I'm just too shy/terrified to approach a woman. I have a creepy stare from across the room until the cops, bouncer or a random dude threatens me with bodily harm for "stalking." GHB works for me!)

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yeah, Nintendo announced that Punch-Out is coming to the Wii in 2009!

Glass Joe, still everyone's bitch.

Big, now on the Wii

I wonder what I'll look like...