Thursday, October 2, 2008

So, there's a man and woman arguing on TV tonight...

Me, watching any television these days

This isn't a political post, so my rule still applies. If you try and make it one in the comments, you'll wish to God I don't find out who you are because I will scoop out your innards with a god damned taster spoon from Baskin Robbins and then let the Bear play in your guts like he's a pig in shit.

Apparently, there's a debate tonight between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin, the vice presidential candidates. If you haven't been watching television, this is, supposedly, going to be the most watched and scrutinized event in the history of television. Ever. As in, if you don't watch this, you will be considered some kind of dirty Canadian and smarmy, know-it-all ass hats will look down on you with disdain.

I'm not a follower of politics. Not because I don't want to be uninformed, but because I don't care. It's not apathy, because I actually am aware of issues and how the government is handling it, I just don't care one way or the other what someone has to say about it. Run a "Wizards of Waverly Place" marathon on the Disney Channel versus a House Subcommittee meeting on C-SPAN, and chances are, my television is tuned to the Mouse. (Note: this happened for a week straight at a La Quinta.)

I keep hearing about how this is the most important election ever, in America's 232 years, there has never been a more important election. "Vote or Die" I'm told, like if I choose to abstain from voting, somehow my face will melt like "Raiders of the Lost Ark".

Look, every election is important. The only reason it's "more important" now than before is that the media and stupid people have more tools than ever. 24-hour news networks, blogs, YouTube, all of it. If you want to have a voice, you can share it, and thereby you believe you'll influence some throng of people to think like you.

Here's the bottom line, and I can't make it any clearer: No one cares what you think.

I mean it.

It's like Fantasy Football. That's great, you play and you have like 4 different teams in the leagues you're in. That applies to you and you alone. I don't want to hear about who you have on what team because your thoughts don't apply to me.

I don't need Wolf Blitzer, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Jack Cafferty, Bill Maher, or a gaggle of actors and musicians telling me what they think of Sarah Palin shooting a moose or Joe Biden telling a crippled man to stand up.

Go form your own opinion about issues and those that represent them and, most importantly, KEEP THEM TO YOUR FUCKING SELF.

Don't try and engage me in a debate or conversation. Don't pollute my ears with your discourse on how Bush has either fucked the world or helped the world. Don't waste my time trying to explain how Obama loves gay people or McCain hates blacks. I don't care, and the chances are, no one around you cares either.

I should mention that this only applies to political opinions. Sports debates are fun and cheeky.


gerry dorsey said...

mmmmm...baskin robbins.

Anonymous said...


Carl Badlander said...

HEY....damn you politics. But while im on the is Palin going to keep her house clean and get all the laundry done if she takes on another job?