Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Big and Brown Idol: Season 1: J-Bizzle

Today's entry comes from J-Bizzle. Remember, if you want to tryout for Season 1 of Big and Brown Idol, send your entry to our email address, thebigandthebrown@yahoo.com You don't win anything, and we're only allowing it for this and maybe next week.

Tyler Hansbrough is the best player in men's college basketball this season. I could probably do my research and make all kinds of arguments as to why I wrote the previous statement. However, I feel that enough has already been written about Hansbrough, Mayo, Augustin, Beasley, etc, etc, and, frankly I don't really care who wins the award. I like my college basketball like I like my Major League Baseball.....one month out of the year (unless a team I care about is playing, naturally). What is bothering me today is what is sometimes said about these kids, specifically during games.

During the Lousiville and North Carolina match-up, Hansbrough played his typical game. He had a few timely points, a couple highlights and several "deer in the headlights" looks. (Anybody else notice that he always looks like that?) Anyway, sometime in the second half, UNC's right-handed forward drove the lane and finished with his LEFT hand. Holy macarol this kid is "amphibious"! Wait, did I just make a Big-like spelling error? No, no. One of the commentators of the game (man I wish I had this guy's name) actually said that Tyler Hansbrough is amphibious. Poor kid, this guy has ruined his life, because there is only one explanation for this. Tyler Hansbrough is Aquaman!

His secret identity has been ruined. Okay, maybe not.

What Mr. Imadumass (sound it out) meant to say was that Hansbrough is AMBIDEXTROUS, meaning "able to use both hands equally well". He can finish with both right and left hand alike. Instead of mistakingly comparing this kid to a frog or a toad, maybe someone should try reading some literature that is above a 6th grade level. There's no reason..., here's my point, dude. There's no fucking reason...that, while being the color guy of a NATIONALLY televised sporting event, you should use THAT time to try and stretch your vocabulary! Not only was this guy wrong, he was way out in left field, which is in a different sport entirely! Rabble, rabble, rabble!

Like we said, this is your chance as reader to show you can write something or you should slowly step away from the keyboard. Any comments you have should be directed at the author and not us. We take no responsibility. Lately, Big and I are cranking out term papers on this site, so maybe this was more palatable for you.

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