Monday, December 8, 2008

Cowboy fans, we've married the crazy chick

I'm watching the Cowboys-Steelers game yesterday, and it dawned on me. Tony Romo is the psycho girl so many of us have been with. Take my word on this, I'm a bit of a connoisseur on the subject.

I'm assuming that, like me, most guys tend to classify the women they see into a few distinct categories. I've found that it's quite easy to apply the same kind of logic to NFL quarterbacks.

For example:

-Some guys like cougars (Jets, Cardinals, Titans)
-Some guys like them young (Ravens, Falcons, Chiefs)
-Some guys like fat chicks (Lions, Raiders, Vikings)

Anyway, back to Romo. When I say Tony Romo is the psycho girl, I mean that for all his redeeming qualities, he's got the knack to just fuck your shit up sideways and you keep convincing yourself that he's the one you want to stay with because all those good things he does make you feel like over the long haul, he'll cool off.

Sound familiar? You know, that girl?

She's fun to be around when it's just the two of you. She's great in the sack, but like a finger in your ass while getting a BJ, you really don't know where she's learned things and you're not sure if you like when she does it, but you don't say anything because you don't want to jeopardize the sex. However, when you aren't with her, you are always getting text messages or phone calls, and you can't ignore them otherwise she'll accuse you of lying and cheating on her, and she might show up to where you are and cause a scene and then after that cry that she's only doing it because she cares?

No? Am I really the only one here?

Look, all I'm saying is this. As Cowboys fans, we've married the psycho girl in Tony Romo. We've convinced ourselves that he's so good that over the long run, all the bad things he does will get outweighed by the good things and we'll be happy together as quarterback and fan.

So, before you start blaming and hooting and hollering about things, he's the guy we've chosen to be the franchise player. Like having the psycho girl as your girlfriend, just enjoy the good things and learn to manage the bad things. Take it from me, the crazy girl doesn't get any less crazy, you just learn to deal with it.

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