The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) The Fighting Manginos!
I received a text while watching the end of the Kansas game last night from Big: "Anyone else scared mangino is going to eat all those oranges" That pretty much sums it up.
2) Tony Sparano!
It isn't official, but I can give you a Brown guarantee that Tony Sparano is going to be the next head coach of the Miami Dolphins. Parcells just wants to hire his guys, that's his bit. My only concern is that Tony Sparano looks like Adolf Hitler, and there are a lot of Jewish people living in Florida. I dunno, you put two and two together...
3) Coaching Carousel!
There has to be a better way of doing things. If a team is going to be raided for its assistants, that's fine, I understand the reasoning behind it. It just doesn't seem right to do it as these teams are attempting to prepare for the playoffs. I'd much rather Jason Garrett be focused on getting Tony Romo to get his mind off bitches and back to football then have Jason Garrett be concerned as to how he is going to properly mold Brian Brohm in Atlanta.
4) Nick Swisher!
A HUGE Ranger killer has been traded from Oakland to the ChiSox. Good gracious, what is "the genius" Billy Beane doing? First Dan Haren, now Nick Swisher. If I had to guess, he took a look around the AL and said "too many stacked teams, we can't compete, let's have a fire sale and rebuild".
5) Isiah Thomas!
You know what, I just don't know anymore. Does anyone else think that Zeke has reached Britney Spears levels of batshit crazy? Everything that Thomas does or says makes you do a double take and think, "holy crap! what's next?" Partner that with the fact that I think Isiah Thomas looks like the lost 7th Jackson brother, and he's doomed.