Nostalgia is Friggin’ Awesome!

He wasn't kidding.

If you aren't following us on the TWEET space. You are missing browns full on assault on your mind. some highlights of last night's tweet-a-thon.

You think Dwight Howard had those shoulders as a baby? Is his mother's vagina like a waterslide? I'm turned on. -Brown

Wow, we gained another follower in the time I've decided to post to Twitter like a 12 year old discovering his penis. Go us. -Brown

Why did the black guy felt empowered to pour sprinkles all over he ice cream counter? Verizon is sponsored by the Black Panthers - Brown

If Hedo Turkoglu is the Turkish Michael Jordan, then Zaza Pachulia is the Turkish Karl Malone. -Brown

If we ever get a basketball team together, my jersey will say "LeBrown" - Brown
i'm really failing to see the appeal of the twitter. we've been on for a week and i feel more like denka than ricky from barbershop - Brown

I'd probably like Michael Cera's movies if it wasn't for the awkward kid in all of them. -Brown

If you're laughing at a premature confetti drop, you're a) a woman and b) a total bitch. - Brown

Follow us hereHere at http://twitter.com/bigandthebrown

My car’s busted, only one thing left to do

I’m Twittering our page so hard, I’m gonna make the “fail whale” scream in pain.

http://twitter.com/bigandthebrown

“Let’s keep immigrants out…except the geniuses”

I was flipping through a magazine the other day and came across an interesting article regarding how states will be much more stringent on granting H1-B visas to immigrants to ensure that companies are hiring U.S. workers. 

For example, you can’t pay them less then a U.S. worker and you have to lay out exactly what they’re doing and how they qualify more than any U.S. worker, so on and so forth. 

However, the U.S. has a lesser known type of visa known as the O-1 visa.  This thing is referred to as “the genius visa”, and all it takes is to prove that this singular person has a skill set that no one else in the world, let alone in the entire United States of America has.

This O-1 visa is completely removed from any political debate going on in the U.S. government between Republicans and Democrats.

I know what you’re thinking, “what the hell does this discourse on immigration and business have to do with sports?”

Well, one of the few people who happen to have one of these “genius visas”?

Big, what’s this say?

Yup, you guessed it, Dirk Nowitzki.  Other athletes who have qualified for O-1 visas?  Wayne Gretzky, Ronaldo, and Annika Sorenstam

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

“Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom portray the writers of their favorite blog, The Big & The Brown”

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again

 

I hate teenagers.

In full disclosure, I do find entertainment in Andy Samberg.  I think the guy has talent, and he is pretty damn funny.   He managed to lure me in to watching the MTV Movie Awards this year.

My reaction?  Remove metal detectors from schools and let’s go back Darwinian physics.

Look, I understand that MTV has always catered to the lowest common denominator.   I remember Howard Stern doing the Fartman bit, but I’m pretty sure that my generation’s youth wasn’t this fucking retarded.

Allow me to rundown some winners for you:

• Movie: “Twilight”
• Actor:  The Efron kid from “High School Musical 3”
• Actress: The drunk girl from “Twilight”
• ”Breakthrough” Actress: The one girl who didn’t get naked in pictures from “High School Musical 3”
• ”Breakthrough” Actor: The smelly kid from “Twilight” who played Cedric Diggory in the “Harry Potter” flicks.
• Best Song: Hannah Montana
• Best Fight: Twilight
• Best Kiss: Twilight
• “Generation Award”: Ben Stiller

I feel like such an old man because, I don’t even know what the hell this “Twilight” thing is, short of the fact it’s got to do with vampires and shit.  (By the way, my playing Castlevania as a kid made me a dork, but liking “Twilight” makes you cool????)  But this movie was up against actual good movies. 

I know what you’re thinking, “relax, man, these are kids, they’re not going to pick “The Wrestler” or “Slumdog Millionaire” over “Twilight”.   There is no way in hell this show was geared towards kids.  I was rendered pretty uncomfortable by the jokes that were told, and pretty shocked at the language the got away with. 

And that’s what it boils down to.  Viacom and MTV aren’t to blame, it’s the consumer.  The target demo?  You got it, the 15-22 crowd.  This is the future of the world, and I’m supposed to be okay with the fact that this is what entertains them? 

Mike Judge, I’m pretty sure, was telling a joke with the movie, “Idiocracy”, but with my first 2 hour dalliance with MTV in a long time, that movie may become more of a mirror than we’d like it to be.

Fucking teenagers.

My head just exploded…

Dan Shanoff usually writes a decent quick hit of sports every morning over at The Sporting News Blog…

I say usually because I think I read a bit that literally made me so confused and shaken that I had to step outside for a moment:

“Meanwhile, the Magic's win was an affirmation:

— For building your team around a super big: Howard

— For max spending on a complimentary player: Lewis

— For the Euro invasion of NBA: Hedo > Dirk.

— For streetball: Skip To My Lou had a great series.

— For Otis Smith: Signing (Lewis); drafting (Lee); trading (Alston).

— For the Magic, not the Cavs, as the NBA's rising power. “

Did you read that third bullet?

Go ahead, read it again.

Have you gone mental yet?  You should.

Where was I this weekend?

 

Image Source: EDSBS

Have a good weekend.

Be Honest, how long did you do it?

Have a good one.

Movies

Gonna quick hit movies now. (told you i had a back log)

First off, me, brown, and bear went to go see Angles and Demons a while ago. Brown and I are big fans of the book, and not so big a fan of the first movie. I thought about trying to do a whole TB&TB Movies review(or was hoping brown would do one), but its not really worth it for this movie.

Simply put, its alot different from the book, so if your into the book really good strong, you'll hate it.

If you thought the book was good, and can enjoy something that is mearly based on it, you'll enjoy it.

If you haven't ever read the book, Its good, but not great.

I'd suggest dollar theater or rental.

For fear of fucking up what might be a future post, all I'm going to say is you have to seek out and see In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

All I'm going to say about it, it stars Jason Stathom, Mathew Lillard, Leelee Sobieski, Ray Liotta, and Burt Reynolds as the king. God i wish Mystery Science Theater was still on.

Lastly I've got another trailer for you from a movie I think looks terribly good. (Remember, you saw the hangover clip here first) Its called "the Goods. Live Hard. Sell Hard." and no, its not about my penis. Enjoy.

Soccer

Up next in my attempt to catch up a bit, Soccer.

Somewhere, drowning his sorrows in warm ale, Sir Arther Chillumsworth III esq is crying in the fetal position, swaying back and forth, asking the question "why?" over and over again.

Why?

His beloved Manchester United lost the Champions League finial, 2-0, to Barcelona.

Sorry buddy, hang in there.

cleaning out the closet, MMA

All right, my goal today is to clear out the old "back log" of posts. They probably won't be long, but I've got a few that i wanted to post, but never finished. Up first, MMA

The UFC had a pretty big fight last weekend, and we have a new Baddest Man on the Planet.

UFC 98 was headlined by the Light Heavy Weight title fight between "Suga" Rashad Evans and Lyoto "The Dragon" Machida., and trust me, the UFC LtHeavy Strap means your the Baddest man on the Planet.

Evans is undefeated coming into 98 and won the strap from fan favorite Forrest Griffin over the winter, with a stunning knock out of the gritty Griffin.

Lyoto Machida, also undefeated, has been called the best fighter nobody likes, because of his "boring" fighting style. Machida is a reactionary fighter who will grind out a victory(think Lennox Lewis in boxing).

Well, the non exciting Machida dramatically knocked out Suga' in the second round, and is still undefeated, and still gets no respect.

In fact, the person that is next in line for a title shot, Quinten Rampage Jackson, has decided to be a host of the Ultimate Fighter, and fight the other host, Rashad Evans, the loser of last Saturday title fight.

So who fights Machida? Well Forrest Griffen and Anderson Silva are fighting at UFC 100, and even though Silva is a middle weight stepping up in class to 205, he is considered to be one of the pound for pound best fighters in the game. The winner of that fight in few months will prob get a title fight with the Dragon sometime next year.

Can’t get enough of us?

You know, because we post so god damn much as it is…Big up and signed us up for the Twitter.

Nevermind my ranting about it.  He joined so we could follow the Shaq and Simmons trains of thoughts…rather be on the forefront of comedy than wait for Daulerio to find it and post about it like usual.

Anyway, we probably won’t post much, probably out of principle more than anything.   However, if we get enough followers, you might get such masterful “tweets” from me like  “i’m blogging while shitting. hooray for watermelon!”  or “next time I see Bear, I’m going to hit him in the mouth”.

http://twitter.com/bigandthebrown

well, there is always next yeCAV'S WIN! CAV'S WIN!

In case you missed it, last Friday during game two of the Cav's Magic Eastern Conference finials, Hedo Turkaglue (the turkish Michael Jordan) hit a shot with 1 second left, putting the Magic up 2. Problem was he left a second, and the Cav's have LeBron.

needless to say he hit the shot to win the game. Its what he does.

Here I bring you a Cleveland newscast that was finishing just as the Cav's game was. Wait for it.....Wait for it.....



There it is.

Silly white girl broke into the "cheerleader" hand movements.

new big TV

Still a little hazy from sunday (can't shake em like i could 6 years ago), as brown pointed out. But we will try and press though the fog.

Here is a video of the new Cowboy stadium Jumbo-Tron.



Looks cool.

Why you won’t hear from us much this week

It was quite the party on Sunday.

I decided to break every unwritten man-law ever created.

Big recreated an A&W commercial, only with a beer keg.

Bizzle felt the need to show his penis…to another dude.

Bear’s dead.

Have a good weekend.

Even Hitler is relaxing this weekend.

Have a good one from your portly blogger and suntanned superman.

See what you did!

Due to a certain grizzly like fellow, and his breaking of the baseball team here in Dallas. My good pal and writing buddy has decided to move to Nebraska.

And he's taking his cheese and water bottle full of Jager with him.



Way to go buddy. Way to go.

One more reason to hate Robert Horry

First off, let me get this out of the way. Robert Horry is a giant fuck twat, and I hope he gets the same ass cancer that’s killing Farah Fawcett. 

Now that I read that this son of a bitch who’s done nothing but ride coattails his entire career and make a few 3 pointers has the nerve and temerity to lose his 7 championship rings, and laugh about it? 

I’m sorry, you giant cunt bucket.  Wasn’t it enough that you were the black Steve Kerr?  Now you’re going to rub it in the rest of the world’s face by claiming you really don’t care enough about winning titles that you might fancy taking more care of the rings?

Fuck you, Robert Horry.  Fuck you with a rake turned sideways.

Fellow Computer Dorks, meet your new desktop wallpaper…

 

Image Source : Gizmodo

How to confuse my writing buddy…

Big is, believe it or not, pretty hard to confuse.  Not that he’s got some higher observational IQ than others, normally if he senses a situation that will confuse him, he’ll extricate himself to go enjoy a cigarette. 

However, I think I’ve found the thing that will confuse him.

Big loves Barack Obama.  Loves him.  He’s black, he loves basketball and he’s a Democrat.  Forget the whole president thing, Big just needs these things.

Big’s also a big ol’ Catholic.  And, because he follows Catholic dogma, he’s immediately a Notre Dame football fan.  That, and he cried at the end of “Rudy”.

That’s when I came across this story.

Seems like Barack Obama hates Notre Dame football.

Ball’s in your court, Big. 

*cue the Honky Tonk Man

Will we get to see Pacquiao v. Mayweather?

Everyone is begging for these two guys to fight.  Some are even claiming that this could be the “savior of boxing”…not heavyweight boxing mind you (that hasn’t been really relevant since Lewis v Klitschko), but boxing as a sport against MMA.

See, Mayweather has been thought of as the best pound-for-pound fighter of his generation, and, what might be more important, he backed it up with the flair and panache that made people love to hate him.  How can you not kind of love a guy who said he fights for paychecks and doesn’t care about history or the sport?  

Then, Mayweather “retired”, and in came the Filipino wunderkind, Manny Pacquiao.

Manny is currently thought of as the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world, and he’s the complete opposite of Mayweather.  He appears humble, does it for the sport, loves his people and isn’t a very loud talking, glitzy person.

Mayweather is one of those deceptive fighters who’s quick, works the whole ring and either looks to tire out his opponent or tie them up in a corner and the he’ll unleash the quickest hands you’ve ever seen.  He’s more of a dancer then a puncher.

Pacquiao goes right at his opponents and puts on a punching demonstration that makes your arms tired.  He’ll punch his way out of a jam, and then continue to punch his opponent into submission.

After Pacquiao destroyed De La Hoya and Hatton, everyone immediately began to clamor for Pacquiao and Mayweather to fight…problem is the weight class difference.  Pacquiao fights in the low 140’s and Mayweather fights in the high 140’s and low 150’s.

Pacquiao’s camp doesn’t want to go above 147 for a Mayweather.  They did it for De La Hoya because Oscar was old and they knew Manny’s speed could take him.  Not the case with Mayweather. Mayweather’s camp feels that Floyd being Floyd is too good to meet another fighter’s demands and they won’t go below 147.  Also, Mayweather is going to demand a larger percentage of the purse.

So will we ever get to see the fight that everyone wants?   As the MIllion Dollar Man says…every man has their price.

Is this for real?

Because I’m on board the second they showed Cleveland hanging out with a Bear…it’s like my god damn life story.

This is only relevant to like 2 people

…but Thor is still a big queer.

Source: The Sugar Sheet

Dallas Cowboy Progress Report

The Mighty (and great) MJD over at The Shutdown Corner at Yahoo! has provided a lengthy and thorough Dallas Cowboy progress report, and I suggest you check it out.

Some highlights…

“If the Cowboys are going to have team t-shirts printed up with a slogan for the 2009 season, I'd like to suggest, "FORGET YOUR POPCORN." The era of popcorn needs to be over. It's time to usher in an era of just being a football team.”

“Recently, it seems like the Cowboys have been more of a general entertainment entity than an actual football team.”

“For now, though, I think the lack of headlines is progress enough. They've signed low-key guys who can contribute, I liked their volume approach to drafting, and they've done it all without being flashy or bringing distractions upon themselves.”

Phil Mickelson’s wife has breast cancer.

I’m not sure I’m going to slap God in the face here and make a joke…but you can put two and two together regarding Lefty, breasts and cancer.

Mike Vick got released from prison today…now what?

So, if you haven’t heard, everyone’s favorite dog fightin’ quarterback was released from prison at midnight this morning and will server the remaining 2 months of his sentence under a house arrest condition.   Then he’s on probation for 3 years. 

So, now what?

Well, in the short term, he’s going to be working a $10/hr construction job to earn wages (and get back into shape).

What does this mean for his football career?  Is it over forever?  Is he going to get reinstated?  If he does, will anyone sign him?

Here’s what I don’t get.  Why is he not being, at least somewhat, forgiven? 

I’m a dog lover.  Really, I am.  And I can’t begin to imagine how fucked up in the head someone has to be to fight dogs.  But, the man was forced to relinquish his career and assets and has served 2 years in federal prison.  I’d like to think he’s learned a lesson and has paid his debt. 

Forget my abhorrence towards PETA.  I’m an animal lover, but hearing PETA stories and people makes me want to kick a box of kittens around their office while eating stake and wearing a mink banana hammock. 

I’ve been rambling all around here, but I’m wondering where the fury is over Leonard Little who killed PEOPLE while driving drunk and has gotten another DUI since, yet is still in the league?   Where’s the fury around Donte Stallworth who killed a PERSON this offseason while driving drunk?  Ray Lewis stabbed a man to death and he’s lauded as the NFL’s reverend replacement for Reggie White?  Jamal Lewis went to jail for selling cocaine and we’re all good with that?

I’m not bringing up a point regarding the league’s and media’s hypocrisy that hasn’t been brought up before.   However, if a team wants to sign Mike Vick to a contract, they should be allowed to do so without having to think, “boy what’s PETA going to do to us?” and “what’s the media going to do to us?”   At least not if MADD and the media aren’t going to protest Browns and Rams camps all summer.

We can point at Michael Vick and say he’s a bad man.  That’s easy.  But I’m not convinced that the same finger needs to be pointed at PETA and media-types who are just as guilty for sidewalk proselytizing and crucifying the man.

/dick joke

See what you did!?!

Look what you did!

We warned you about Jinxing them, didn't we? But NoooooooOOoo, you had to plug your site! "Come on over to my side of the internet," he said, "I'm talking about them" he said.

You know what this means right?



It's bear season bitch!

Everybody's doing it!

I don't know what has been in the air the last few weeks, maybe its a side effect of the swine flu, but either my overly horny self is seeking it out, or there have been a lot of famous people getting naked recently.

I love hot naked women, so i thought you sexy reader might as well.

NOTE! All links are NSFW! You have been warned.








Gwyneth Paltrow

Rihanna

Mary-Louise Parker . The mom from weeds. So, so great.

jessica biel.

and because everybody else is doing it...Me

SO there you go. Hope this makes up for lack of posts recently.

Holla.

Why aren’t we talking about [NAME REDACTED]?

It’s simple.  Both Big and I are HUGE believers in the jinx factor. 

We ain’t sayin’ shit until we feel it’s safe.

The Sports Guy, as usual, explains so much

Fuck That Guy!

I love Bill Simmons, and if that makes me a douche, so be it.

He most recent article, which is a three part email exchange with best selling author Malcolm Gladwell, is like walking into a debate on your favorite subject, between two people who are smarter, more thoughtful, and think more outside the box than you do.

Most of the article is about the NBA and whats wrong and how you can change it. I highly suggest you read it, but beware, its long.

There was one excerpt that I wanted to share with you in case the 9,000 words scare you away. This is Bill Simmons talking about the NBA Ref's, and how stupid the NBA is in using them.

"Back to your point about arrogance and sports leagues: Please tell me you're following the current officiating debacle. The two most-watched regular-season games (both Celtics-Lakers games) were ruined by officials. Game 7 of a classic Boston-Chicago series was ruined by officials. The Mavs' season was ruined by officials. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to flagrant fouls and how they are called, just that the ongoing indecision has compromised the quality of the games. Bill Kennedy had such a heated incident with Doc Rivers in March that both were fined; somehow, Kennedy worked two Boston playoff games (both must-wins on the road). Dallas went 1-14 in its past 15 playoffs games that Danny Crawford officiated; somehow he worked one of their 2009 playoff games (inevitably, a loss for Dallas). Joey Crawford got suspended two years ago for baiting Tim Duncan, then blew last season's season-ending Spurs call … and somehow, he worked a must-win San Antonio playoff game in 2009. And the number of competent refs is so bad that Violet Palmer worked a Round 2 game last week. For a league that vowed to clean things up post-Donaghy, why haven't we seen any real results yet?

I'm not the kind of guy to scream "the refs screwed us!" because honestly the refs screw everybody at some point. Just some food for thought.

Try and be Happy Day Continues

I need these today, stupid mavericks.

You may be upset the Mavs lost…

…but look at the cute puppy!!

I think I just travelled to 1977 on the island

I’m sitting here working and watching the Rockets-Lakers game, and I think that I just saw the most confusing thing I’ve ever seen.

In an embarrassing bit of cross-promotion, TNT found Kyra Sedgwick sitting in the stands at the game.  Craig Sager went over to interview her and it went like something like this:

Sager : “Kyra Sedgwick. What do you think about the game?”

Sedgwick : “What can I say?  The Lakers are really far ahead. Gosh, what do you think?”

Sager : “Lots of celebrities.  How do you like Laker games?”

Sedgwick : “I’m a Knicks fan, I’m in LA filming the show.”

Sager : “So…how bout the Knicks?”

Sedgwick looks at Kevin Bacon : “I dunno. What do you think?”

Sager : “Kevin Bacon.”

Bacon : “We have hope for the New York Knickerbockers.”

Sager : “Kyra Sedgwick. The Closer. TNT. Back to you, Kevin.”

Kevin Harlan : “Ok then”

Guest Post, a Concert Review by our good Pal Nayfa

We love it when people send us post, blah blah blah, you know the drill.

Me, Nayfa, and a few buddies of ours went to go see one of our favorit bands last weekend, Lucero, and he pretty much naild it on what it was like, or at least what I remeber. Stupid whiskey and waters.

Oh and he speaks about the best damn golf anilyset ever, Mr. David Ferhety!

Highs and lows sprinkled with awkward moments set the tone for the weekend and what a weekend it was.

For the last month I’d been pumped to see Lucero at The Longhorn Saloon in Fort Worth. I couldn’t wait for Saturday to get here because I like the band so much. Then what I thought was going to be a great time at a rock show turned into a pseudo awkward ass whip of fairly modest proportions. Really I have no complaints; I got loaded and had a great time. (Hats off to JP for his hospitality)


As usual for shows like this, the opening act stole the show. I’m pretty sure they were called Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears or bees(ED. its bears and they are super salty)(Joe is on the right)(he is from austin)(Stop reading right now and check him out, then come back of course to finish). I’m not sure which one, which is funny to me because as badass as they were I never really cared to find out for sure. I was there to see Lucero. Anyway the lead singer of this band must have been James Brown’s illegitimate kid or something and these guys could play. It was like the Blues Brothers meets Carlton on Fresh Prince of Bellaire. It was cool but there wasn’t much edge. If you get a chance to check these guys out, do it.

As far as Lucero is concerned, it was like having sex when you’re really drunk: Sure you’re happy to be there but you’d really rather go to sleep and do it when you wake up.

(Ed. This was the second time I have seen Lucero live and both times were fucking great shows. Yea, the guy can't really sing that well (read: he sounds better on the CD) but the fans at the shows are crazy and loyal. We know every word to every song and love to just Jam out with the band. The Sex when your really drunk is probably the best anoligy I have ever heard when it comes to live show like this, or pretty much any other live show for that matter)

I was pumped to be at the show but I was tired and fairly lit. They played several new songs which is cool but I’d much rather hear the stuff I know. Whatever, the show was really good overall and I had a really good time. I think that no matter what it was going to be a letdown because I had built it up so much.

Now I’ll send it over to Gary McCord to see how David Ferhety is doing on 16.
He’s in the rough… Deep rough!

David Ferhety wrote in D magizene recently about President Bush moving to Dallas and at one point in the article he discussed meeting with the troops in Iraq. While speaking of the soldiers he made the following comment. “Despite how the conflict has been portrayed by our glorious media, if you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Osama bin Laden, there’s a good chance that Nancy Pelosi would get shot twice, and Harry Reid and bin Laden would be strangled to death.”

That’s by far the funniest fucking thing I’ve read in a long time. Why this man is being criticized is beyond me. He should be getting some kind of comedy medal or championship belt or something.

TB&TB Movie Review - Star Trek

If TB&TB has a set of rules, I believe this one would fall somewhere between "always poo in the guest bathroom" and "no fat* chicks". And that rule is "if we like it, so should you."

Well, we like movies. Doesn't matter the "quality" or "budget" or even "plot," we like movies. We like Indy films, Comedy's, Drama, happy movies, sad movies, just about anything that is quality, we rock it. We are not snobs, and won't talk about how the lighting really took effect and helps portray the antagonist's angst and frustration. I just want to be entertained, which brings me to one of the big summer movies that just came out that I was skeptical when I first learned about it; Star Trek.

Now I say that I was skeptical because while I wasn't the biggest fan of the original, I was a pretty big fan of the next generation. (shocking I know, the big guy with a blog is a Star Trek Next Gen fan). With that in mind, when I heard that "Hollywood" was relaunching the franchise with a new cast, with the idea that its going to be "the origins of Kirk and Spock," AND that J.J.Abrams was directing the movie, my first reaction was to roll my eyes while making a JO motion with my hand. I just knew it was going to be all hip hop out, and everybody would be fucking, and everybody would be a bad ass, and everybody would be hot, and there would be lots of explosions, and Abrams would "Lost" it up with plot twists and "did you notice" moments like he does in his low Lost (hence "Lost" it up).

And I can honestly say after watching the flick last night, all of those assumptions were valid.

And It was still extremely good.

It had everything that you wanted in not a Star Trek movie, but it had everything you wanted in a solid summer blockbuster as well.

Without giving away the too much of the plot, the focus of the film was how the crew of the original Enterprise came to be.While it focused on the story of Spock and Kirk, just about every member of the supporting cast was introduced as well, which should make the Trekies happy, without diverting too much from the story that will keep non Trek-heads entertained.

Much like Batman Begins was a relaunch of the Batman franchise, Star Trek does the same thing.

Basically, even as a sceptic going into the movie, it was well worth my time, and I'll watch it again in the future. If your a Trek fan, don't worry there isn't too much "hip hop"erazation of it, and if your not a Trekie, don't worry its not too nerdy to enjoy either.

Now we can get ready for about 8 more of these.

Bonus Would Ya?

You know I would.

*"no" is very loosly defined term to be honered by whom ever sets said term

FYI regarding tomorrow’s Mavs game – it’s a “BLUE OUT”

This was sent to me by the Mavs ticket office:

Here’s a quick reminder that the first home game of the second round of the playoffs (Playoff Game E on your tickets) is tomorrow (Saturday, May 9^th) at 4:00 p.m.  Come early and please wear BLUE to the game.  Let’s get Rowdy, Proud & Loud!

For those of you without tickets, the game will be on TV on ESPN.  (We still have a few tickets left, so call me if you need some.)

The Mavs rely on our fans to make the AAC one of the toughest places to play for our opponents, and our home record supports the great job that you do. 

Did you know?

• The Mavs are 17-1 at home since the All Star break!  (Not including our two home playoff wins over the Spurs)
• The Mavs were 32-9 at home this season (including our hiccup of a 0-4 start to the home season.)
• Our home record over the past 5 seasons is 165-40, an 80.4% winning percentage.
• We have the current longest running sellout streak in the NBA – 317 consecutive regular season games!  (Thank YOU!)
• The Mavs are one of two NBA teams that have a current streak of NINE STRAIGHT 50-win seasons!  (Only the 4^th NBA franchise ever to achieve this!)
• This is the Mavs 9^th straight playoff appearance, currently the 2^nd best in the NBA, (only the Spurs with 12 straight have a longer streak.)

The net/net of all this is that our success on the court depends in great part on the support of our season ticket holders, and you have done a great job for us!  Thank you for your Rowdy, Proud and Loud support!  Let’s show the Nuggets how we do it in Dallas !

Thoughts from One of the Good Ones - A Neyfa Rant

We always encourage people to hit us up if they have something to say, and one of our Followers is Neyfa. Sometimes he's our political correspondent, and sometimes (like what your about to read) he is a die hard cowboy fan. Enjoy

Like you woudn't hit that.

With the new Cowboys Stadium set to open this season I had a few thoughts I wanted to share about the Cowboys fans.

Most of you are complete assholes. Seriously, how many of you are there when the Cowboys aren’t worth a shit? Also why are you such pussies at the stadium? I’ve gone to games and seen you. None of you say shit when you see some dickhead wearing a Steelers jersey or worse yet a goddamn Redskins jersey. These people are enemies to America’s team which makes them enemies of America. They should be treated accordingly. At the very least they should have nachos dumped on them. Personally I think instead of the Cowboy’s Corral there should be a Gitmo like prison for any dipshit stupid enough to wear an opposing team’s jersey in our house.

Only in Dallas do we slam our quarterback for railing the celebrity with the biggest tits outside of porn or wrestling. Let’s be honest here. Every boy from Texas wants to grow up and be a Dallas Cowboy and it appears that every girl wants to grow up and bang a Dallas Cowboy. Not only that but none of you can honestly say you wouldn’t fuck Jessica Simpson and blow all over her tits or at the very least motor boat those things.

Also stop the bullshit Romo bashing. Aside from people all pissed that he’s banging Jessica Simpson it turns out that Romo apparently sucks and Jay Cutler would be much better. Give me a fucking break, this dude is a badass who is fucking Jessica Simpson, turned out Carrie Underwood so bad that she’s been reduced to chasing hockey players like a Hanson brother’s groupie, and has set all sorts of team passing records. With the possible exception Tom Brady (who is a douche because he plays for New England) there isn’t a player on the list with better credentials. Sure, Big Ben has two rings but he rides crotch rockets. Nobody who does that can really be respected. Both of the Manning brothers have a ring but they can’t even tie their own shoes much less string a sentence together. As for Cutler, he’s a little bitch and I’m appalled that people would even consider wanting that crybaby for the Cowboy’s quarterback.

By the way, the Cowboys should win the Super Bowl this year. Despite a lousy draft they are still better than any other team. Let’s just hope they don’t underachieve like their asshole fans.

GMV - RIP Dom

and if your first thought was "Dom" from the Fast and the Furious, I want to kill you.

RIP Dom DeLuise. This one is for the Blogadore.

GMV - Cinco De Mayo!

In honer of some Mexican battle that happened in Mexico that we celebrate in the states with taco party's.........




Giggle.

Is there a cure for what this team lacks?

All of season and up to the trade deadline, Maverick fans such as my self were waiting for the Mav's to trade for a player to help this team "get back on track," or "change the culture of quiting."

All we really got was Matt Carrol and John Hollins. Sweet.

The non-move really made me shake my head and prep for an average season, probably losing in the first round of the playoffs, but no real hope for the future.

Then a very odd thing happened. Jason Kidd and JJ Berea started to run this team away from the idea they were losers. The last month of the regular season and the first round of the playoffs saw the Mav's play with something that I haven't seen in them since the Phoenix series of 06, Heart and a desire to prove that they were the better team.

This new found drive started getting my hopes up about this team again. I started thinking to myself, "you know what, maybe this team doesn't need Dirk to be the leader, maybe it can be Kidd, or JET, or some games even JJ."

Then the Spurs happened. I knew going into that series that the Mav's were going to beat them. Even if the Spurs had Manu, I think the Mav's just match up well with them, and could take that series.

For the same reasons that I thought the Mav's could beat the Spurs(and ultimately did), is the same reason I don't like the probability that they take this series vs the Nuggets.

The simple idea is mental toughness. And I don't know if the Mav's have enough of it. The Mav's knew they could take the Spurs, they believed it. So even when Parker was scoring any way he wanted to, they just knew they could come back.

That's not there in this series. When Denver literally punches them in the mouth, the Mav's won't take it, look back, wipe the blood from their face, and hit them back even harder. Na, that's not the way the Mav's work. They will look around with their hands up, waiting for a whistle to bail them out. Sometimes it will, but the whistle won't bail you out four out of seven games.

So the problem that I thought was gone has come back. We need heart. Heart that says "we aint takin' this shit no more," or even "hit me one more time mother fucker, see what happens." And unless something changes over the next few days, I don't know where its going to come from.

Miles and Miles of heart.

GMV

Can't get enough of this Auto Tuner News bit. Not as good as the first, but still funny.

Friday Mid Day Pick Me Up

GMV - Those Crazy Brits

Pop Song? Check

Accapella? Check

Little Person? Check. (apparently calling a little person a Midget is equal to calling a black guy the n word. I didn't know that.)

You know I'm Posting it. Here is some British TV show doing Blink 182's Whats my name again. Enjoy.

If you don’t watch Game 7, you’re crazy

I’ve mentioned it several times before…this year’s Bulls-Celtics series has been THE most entertaining series in a long time.

Tonight’s game went into triple overtime to see the Bulls stave off elimination and force the Game 7.

Joakim Noah’s level of energy is nuts.  You know how Ryan Hollins isn’t a polished player, but he plays with a level of energy that brings the team and the crowd to its feet?  Multiply that by 10. That’s what the Bat-Boy brings to Chicago.

I think I’m more excited to see Derrick Rose battle Rajon Rondo for the next 10 years than I am to see Chris Paul battle Deron Williams.  Paul and Williams are methodical in the way they execute.  Rose and Rondo are like an action flick. 

Scalabrine made it on to the floor.  I’m going to type that again.  The Ginger Wonder, Brian Scalabrine, was on the floor and saw minutes in the third OT.

Brad Fucking Miller redeemed himself for the end of the last game by sinking his free throws and getting that layup into the basket.

Seriously, if I find out you don’t watch Game 7 on Saturday, I’m going to punch you in the throat and you’ll not be allowed to watch anymore basketball.

GMV - Look what you have done to Sam, TV!

Not really new, but this is the "famous" scene from Snakes on a Plane, showed on TV. Monkey Loving Snakes? Really?


EMBED-Snakes on a Plane - The TV Edit - The famous line - Watch more free videos

for shame.

Things sure do look different around here…

That’s right.  We took advantage of all that pristine space to the left of the screen.

We’re wider.

We’re better.

Hey, who doesn’t love fat chicks blogs?

Making my video game weinie go crazy.

Ronnie to Rickey!?! Where's the Patrick Cobbs Love?!

I swore to myself I wouldn't get all crazy for the new Madden this year, as last years was just a pile of crap. The defense was to hard to stop the pass till you got to the end zone where you just picked off the passes one out of ever 3 times, the running game was a non factor, and the dynasty mode took to long during load times.

My fear isn't that Madden is getting worse however, its that I'm starting to lose steam to try and learn the game as I get older. I'm starting to think back to simpler days of Pro Sports Talk Football and smile. I'm really hoping the game sucked and not that "its passed me by."

Anyway, Jon Robinson over at ESPN has a great article about Madden 10, coming out in July or August, about some of the new features in the game.

Here are some High Lights.

New Dog Pile Fumble Recovery

"For the first time in series history, when the ball hits the ground, it doesn't just go to the guy who randomly touches it. In "Madden NFL 10," players will pile on the ball, and gamers will need to pound the button that is shown on the screen to try to wrestle away the rock. As the button commands change on the screen, the ball can switch hands numerous times until the refs actually dig through the bodies and declare a winner. "

I like that, however it's going to play to the "quick fingered"(giggle) players as apposed to who really has the best chance at getting the ball. But hey, its cool.

"Pro-Tak" system that helps control engaging players.

"This includes nine-man gang tackles, a brand new pocket for the offensive line, steerable blocks, steerable tackles and the fight for the fumble feature that really lets you fight for that ball at the bottom of the pile. "

I'm interested to see the "steerable blocks" and how that can help the oft shitty runing game.

Pocket Pressure Rumble Controller.

"So now, when your quarterback is under pressure, your controller will actually start to rumble. And now, when you feel that pressure, you feel that rumble, you can flick the right stick and do an automatic avoidance move."

Love this idea, if only they can attack something to you ribs, that way when you don't get out of the way, it feels like your getting crushed. That would be cool.

The WildCat

"Just as we're adding the Wildcat, we're also making sure our defenses are ready for the Wildcat."

Gag me. I love the Wild Cat, but I know people who will use this as there only offense. And I call those people Douchebags. And they should be hunted.

Getting all tough and stuff with Player Ratings.

"Our intention this year was to make the elite players stand out." "Peyton Manning still strut around with a 99 overall rating, backups such as Matt Leinart can only watch as their overall rating drops from a 85 to a 62."

That's what I'm talking about. The days of starting your team with Kirby Dar-Dar are over. Great players dominate bad ones, just look at Brad Johnson last year.

Then They talk about the officials and other visual stuff, nothing interesting. But I must say, even though I told myself I wouldn't get all excited about this game as I didn't enjoy last years almost at all, I'm getting excited about this game.

GMV - I'm going to Grape You in the Mouth!

What is this grape Juice?

Thats "The Whitest Kinds you Know" from IFC. Great show.

Re-visiting my thoughts on Brad Miller

Christian Bale plays for the Bulls!

I was watching the end of the Bulls-Celtics overtime thriller last night (I told you it’s been an awesome series!), and on the last play of the game, Brad Miller airballed a wide open lay up that would have tied the game, and with the foul he took, give him the opportunity to put Chicago on top by 1 with 2 seconds left on the clock.

By that time, Ray Allen and Derrick Rose had both fouled out, so Chicago had a defensive front on the floor, and Boston’s stone cold shooter (who turned out to be PIerce anyway) wasn’t on the floor.

I immediately texted Big the following, “Oh my god, Brad Miller is fucking terrible.”

This is something I think I’ve said since Miller was a Pacer, but never more evident than in his current Bulls uniform.

Then I saw the replay, and I’ve got to cut Miller some credit. Rajon Rondo hit him in the jaw and knocked out a tooth while Miller was going up for the lay up.

Vinny of the Black was begging for a flagrant. Kevin Harlan wanted a flagrant. Only Doug Collins said, and rightfully so, Brad Miller would have had to be on the stretchered out for the refs to call a flagrant foul with 2 seconds left in a playoff series deciding game.

I just wanted to pull back a little bit on my Brad Miller hatred. I’m pretty sure getting a tooth knocked out by the skeletal remains of Rajon Rondo would throw me off my game from a) making a layup and b) sinking 2 game tying free throws in overtime of the playoffs when I haven’t taken a free throw all game and I’m Brad Fucking Miller.

Your Tuesday afternoon pick-me-up

Courtesy of Brahsome

Damn the swine flu!

So, how does this play into the CP3 rumor?

That’s an honest-to-God crowd shot from last night

The biggest ass whipping NBA Playoff history happened last night, as the Denver Nuggets destroyed the New Orleans Hornets 121 – 63.  Wait, sources are telling me that the largest margin in the ENTIRE NBA history, not just playoffs.  (Think they’re celebrating the Billups for Iverson trade?  I think so.)

Wow.

So, how does that affect the Mavericks?  Well, if you haven’t heard, New Orleans is hemorrhaging money right now.   They need to get rid of the big contract players and assume expiring or low cost players.   If the Hornets don’t get out of the first round, there’s serious talk of blowing up what was, not that long ago, one of the NBA’s darling young teams because of financial reasons.

A part of that salary dump involves a rumored trade to Dallas. Josh Howard, Erick Dampier, Jerry Stackhouse for Chris Paul and a large contract (think Peja Stojakovic or Tyson Chandler). 

Pray the Hornets have given up and conceded their franchise.  That means HUGE things for the Mavericks. 

GMV - Crazy Japanese

So this is a Japanese Commercial, and It includes pee, blood, fire, humor, and a nice lesson at the end. Check it.

(not nearly as gross as it sounds, i swear)

Need a Monday afternoon pick-me-up?

Big was drafted on Sunday

I forgot to mention this, but while we were watching the draft, Big had to mysteriously “be at work” during the entire first round.

Then I saw who was drafted by Buffalo…

Eric Hood – Center - Louisville

You sneaky bastard.  Let me know how T.O. is in person.

Stephen McGee. Really?

I really don’t know what the Cowboys were doing yesterday during the draft.  I can’t make sense of, well, any of the picks. 

A shit ton of tweener linebackers.

A so-so secondary set.

A meh offensive lineman.

A kicker???

And a quarterback.

Look, I don’t claim to know more about football or the draft than anyone employed by the NFL, or a majority of people I know.  But, you can’t look at me with a straight face and tell me that the Cowboys’ number one goal was to draft a new special teams squad.

As for McGee.  It made me shake my head to make sure I wasn’t still drunk from the prior night.  I got about 10 different text messages regarding it as well. (That’s right, I know 10 different people! Who’s popular now!?!) 

If you ask me, Jerry needed to sell tickets to the new stadium, and Aggies are just stupid enough to buy tickets to cheer McGee on the sideline. 

(Commence the “oh yeah? He beat Texas twice!” comments.)

The Best Series You Aren’t Watching

If Dallas’s interest in their own team is any indication, no one is focusing on what is the most entertaining series of the playoffs, and what could develop into an AWESOME rivalry to come.

If you aren’t paying attention, Chicago and Boston are locked up in a really entertaining series.  They had a few great games in the middle of the season, but no one thought they’d have four games of it in the playoffs.

Oh, and this is with injury depleted rosters and two terrible coaches.

Chicago won game 4 in a thrilling double overtime.  They won the first game in overtime, lost game 2 in the shoot-a-palooza between Gordon and Allen, and were blown out in game 3.

You’ve got the rookie of the year, Derrick Rose against the still improving awesome Rajon Rondo.  The underrated, could have been Maverick, John Salmons playing his best defense ever against the old man, Paul Pierce.  Gordon and Allen pretty much playing HORSE against each other. And the spare bigs battle of Noah/Miller/Thomas against Powe/Davis/Perkins.

If you aren’t watching this series…I suggest you do.  It’s what the Boston-Atlanta series was last year…fun and entertaining

Okay, Go Mavericks

A lot has been made that television ratings have dropped for the Mavericks this season.  You could point to the 2-7 start, the fans perceived “tiredhead” regarding the same starters, the total dominance of Kobe and LeBron as issues.  However, people thought that a playoff series against the hated rival Spurs was going to be what the fan base needed to re-energize.

But…television ratings haven’t really gone up or come close to what they were three years ago. Why?

It can’t be a sense of entitlement. We haven’t won anything.

It can’t be a sense of doom and gloom because Dallas is up 3-1 and playing some of the best basketball they’ve played in years.

It can’t be a sense of “luck’s about to run out” because, again, this team is playing the best basketball it’s played in years.

It’s not lack of starpower, Dirk, Josh, Kidd and JET are a great nucleus of stars.

So, what’s the deal?  Why are fans not gunned up for the Mavericks this year?

It’s fear.  Plain and simple.

The Dallas sports fan is a fairweather fan.  Those of us who have weathered the 11 win Mavs seasons and constant Ranger failures are the few and the proud (?).   Dallas fans are married to the Cowboys, and the heartbreak that has been caused by the team since 1996 is well etched on Dallas’s fanbase.  We’re afraid that if we truly follow and believe in a team, we’re going to get let down again.

No one believes that the Mavs can win the finals. Why?  Because they can’t.  No one is beating the Lakers in the West, that’s a given.  Because of this, fans have resigned that the season is over already, and all the playoff pushes in the world won’t matter.

All I can say is what I’ve told everyone who’s shown a slight disinterest in the Mavs:

Don’t Lose Faith.

As George Dunham said, “you know how your favorite movie ends, but you still stay till they roll the credits, don’t you?”

gmv - monday after the draft

So the draft was this weekend. Have no fears, we are going to do a little coverage of it. But first, i wanted to bring to your attention something I found on the Warming Glow, its a you tube group called Auto Tuner News.

The name pretty much says it all. They use Auto Tuner with news to make fun songs. You know, like Kanye and T-Pain. Funny.

New Movie.

12 inches of

cold

hard

steele.

Its Black Dynamite.

Look who's taking a stab at this whole "blogging" thing...

We have lots of friends on this little thing know as the interwebs. Some are people we have never really met (Gerry, Steve), and some are buddies of our from college and what have not(UniQM, Badlander).

Well one of our friends from the later group has decided that he's ready to stop just being a guest writer here on TB&TB, and strike out on his own. You all know him as Victor the manBEARpig.



He's given us some good if not long winded, sports thoughts, and I encourage everybody to check out his new blog The Bears Cave

He'll talk about what ever he damn well pleases, but its mostly gonna be about salmon, which tree gives the best back scratch, how to prevent forest fires, the bruins and why LaBatt Blue is the best beer ever. (or so I assume).

So check him out, leave some love, cuz if you don't, he'll get all sad like this.


and nobody likes a sad bear.

One More Mock from the sherp

The NFL draft is tomorrow, my level of excitment is somewhere between chicks with tattoos and all you can eat steak. So is our buddy the Sherpa of Camping, Tioga. He's so excited in fact that he has brought to us another mock draft! So enjoy bitches!

alot changes in a week and with what may be the most unpredictable draft in sometime, I'm sure alot more will come saturday. all that said, here goes.

1) Det - QB Mathew Stafford. There's some talk and speculation that it will be one of the top OT's but franchise QB's are way harder to find than lineman.

2) SL - T Jason Smith. Finally the Rams get a tackle. Smith edges out Monroe for his on the field disposition and brings a little bit of nastiness at the snap of the ball. Helps out in the pass and the run.

3) KC - * trade down. or LB Aaron Curry. Here's where the real drama starts. KC has several needs and would probably rather trade down and get better value than have to pay #3 money to a guy that would be a #10 pick in any other draft. With all the love flying around for Sanchez and with Seattle linked to be one of the teams with a man crush on him, it'd be wise to move ahead of them to get him. Washington would love to land this pick but probably doesn't have the ammo to move up. The Jets are probably the most likely to move up, but may not be willing to pay the cost of moving up from 17. If the Cheifs are willing to take less value than what the draft chart shows then a swap with NY could very well be in the cards. All that said, if KC stays then look for them to draft the best defensive player on the board with either Curry or Orakapo drafted to help start the new 3-4 the team is switching over to. With Curry being the safest pick and rated as the best player overall he edges out everyone else. LSU DE Jackson has been linked here aswell being that it's hard to find true 5 tech DE's, but he's not quite #3 material.

4) Sea - T Eugene Monroe. In what may be a smokescreen, Seahawks are rumored to be looking closely at QB Mark Sanchez to sit behind Hasselbeck. While it may be smart to do so, (Sea doesn't plan to be drafting close to #4 again anytime soon), their most pressing need is at T where Walter Jones is 35 and beat up. Monroe is a legitamate LT and with it rumored that he could go to KC, my hunch is that Sea is showing the Sanchez love in order to get someone to swap with KC and ensuring that Monroe drops to them.

5) Cle - DE/OLB Brian Orakapo. Another hard to nail pick; Cle could go se,veral different ways here. If they trade WR Edwards they could give a serious thought on WR Crabtree, maybe even if they don't move Edwards. They could also go with DE Jackson, (doubtfull though), or maybe even LB Curry if he falls. I've also seen DT Raji and CB Jenkins mentioned at this pick. In the end though, I feel that even if they do move Edwards that they'd be wise to find an explosive pass rusher to finally get some pressure on Roethlisberger, Palmer, and Flacco. Pressure would help their DB's out and rushers are far harder to find later in drafts than WR's are.

6) Cin - T Andre Smith. Yet another unpredictable pick here. The Bengals need all kinds of help, maybe none more that at OT. After loosing Houshmandzedah and maybe Ocho Cinco WR Crabtree would be a good addition, but without time or protection he'd be running for nothing on Sundays. DT Raji could go here due to the fact that he's a better fit in a 4-3 which the Bengals happen to run, but I feel they'd rather have DE Orakpo if he's available if they wish to ignore their line until later. In the end though, Smith makes the Bengals better from day one and prior to his mental meltdows was the top OL... a review of his tapes shows that he has rare talent to suceed at a high level in the NFL.

7) Oak - WR Jeremy Maclin. I've seen where DT Raji has been linked here; but why would you draft a soft player, who is on the ground a lot, and takes plays off regularly.. just to replace guys who are soft, on the ground a lot, and who takes plays off frequently. With WR and OT their most pressing needs, I see Davis grabing a WR who has produced at a high level. Maclin has the wheels that Al loves; thus I see him skipping over Crabtree for Oak. The only thing that would make Maclin not go here, would be if Davis goes for Heyward-Bey who runs just a little faster. If T Smith falls he could possibly land here.

8) JV - DT BJ Raji. A real boom or bust player, he is the big bodied DT that the Jaguars made trendy in their glory days. They've been linked to be in the Sanchez sweepstakes, but that'd be a vanity pick for a coach who's on the hotseat. They at least made an attempt at securing their biggest needs with the FA signing of T Thomas and WR Holt; so now they move on to making their front 4 more fearsome. If Del Rio doesn't feel comfortable with all of Raji's risk, then WR Crabtree would be a good pick here. They could also trade down if Sanchez is still around.

9) GB - *trade down. DE/OLB Aaron Maybin. The Packers are trying to switch over to the 3-4 and will be looking to find the players to fit it. One of their biggest needs would be to find a player to rush the QB from the OLB position and Maybin can do that well. He's an undersized DE who reminds some scouts of Jason Taylor. One plus is that he comes from the Big 10 so Lambeau winters shouldn't be a factor in his play. If Sanchez is still on the board GB should have several offers, esp from the Jets who can afford to move up here. With the Redskins at 13 the Packers should still be able to get the player they want aswell.

10) SF - WR Michael Crabtree. It's possible he could fall here, not likely but possible. If he's not then the 49ers should instead focus on their defense, the pass rush in particular. Either DE/OLB Everette Brown, or Aaron Maybin. DE Tyson Jackson is a possibility here aswell since he's suited for a 3-4, but they drafted Balmer in the 1st last year so they should go after the edge speed rusher to get after the potent passers in their division. If QB should by some unforseen circumstance fall here, the 49ers would most likely stop his plummet.

11) Buf - T Micheal Oher. In a move that was made necessary by moving LT Peters to the Eagles, the Bills get the last of the blue chip T prospects. With the pass rush and OLB play being poor in Buf last season, they could go for Brown or Maybin... but since they run the 4-3 that neither player is suited for, they'd be better served by waiting til #28 to grab a part time 3rd down pass rusher. Plus there's no legit OT's at 28 to replace Peters.

12) Den - DE Tyson Jackson. Jackson's stock has soared lately due to the fact that he's one of the few legitimate 3-4 DE's, and with the Broncos switching to it this year they need to grab the players to make it work. If Jackson falls here Den would love to snag him ahead of division rival SD who would be targeting him aswell. CB/S Malcolm Jenkins would be a good pick here also to play opposite old man Champ Baily or old man Brian Dawkins.

13) Was - DE Robert Ayers. One of the teams likely to really mortgage their future by trying to move up and draft QB Sanchez; it's concievable that either KC, Cle, Cin, JV, or GB would be picking here instead. With several team needs the Redskins would be wise to trade down and probably still land Ayers if they can find any takers. Ayers is a boom or bust type player in that he was a one year wonder in Tennessee, but he's the only true 1st round 4-3 DE... he also showed well at the Senior Bowl against OT's Smith and Oher. If Oher is still available here the Skins could look to take him to play RT until Samules hangs up the cleats.

14) NO - LB Brian Cushing. With needs at RB I've seen Benie Wells here, but with RB depth good later, and it being a part time position in NO, they'd be wise to address a different position with an impact player. Cushing would start from day 1 and could make a difference in a very vanila Defense. Without a 2nd round pick, the Saints would be wise to move down and aquire more players.

15) Hou - CB/S Malcolm Jenkins. The Texans have several needs on Defense with DE, DT, OLB, CB, and S all starting either underachievers or spare players. If DE Ayers or DT Raji fall here they could be intriguing as well as LB Cushing. As it is though Davis would be the biggest impact defender left to them. Jenkins is the top rated DB in this draft and is a very battle tested solid player from Ohio St that will be a very safe pick. His only knock is that he lacks elite speed... luckily for him he has the size to move to FS if he doesn't make it at CB. If he's gone then super talented but poster child for character risk Davis could be possible.

16) SD - RB Knowshown Moreno. I'm not real comfortable with this pick personally. SD needs a S, OL, DE, future NT, probably an ILB, and even possibly an OLB. So taking a RB with Tomlinson and Sproles around would be a luxury; but LT is on the decline and probably out the door after next season, and Sproles is a FA next season and very very small in size for everydown play. Moreno is the best RB and would make next seasons tough decisions easier. If DE Jackson falls here he could be a possibility. The Chargers could go for DE/OLB Everette Brown or ILB Rey Maualuga also.

17) NYJ - *trade up. QB Mark Sanchez. The team most likely to trade up as they have more picks than Washington. Built to win now after this and last seasons free agent hauls, they are now missing a QB with Favre's retirement. If they're unable to make a move up then they would most likely grab a WR here, most likely either Maclin or Heyward-Bey.

18) Den - ILB Rey Maualuga. Another bigger player to help switch over to a 3-4, Rey is a big physical pressence that would make an impact. The Broncos could also trade down in order to find a NT that would be a reach here at 18. Could be tempted by one of the defensive players mentioned earlier whom could fall or go for CB Davis.

19) TB - DT Perria Jerry. With needs everywhere, they'd be wise to trade down. They'd also be wise to shy away from the QB Freeman in that he's a very boom or bust prospect. When he's compared with QB's Cullpepper, Campbell, and Leftwich it doesn't bode well. Jerry is considered by some to be the best DT this year and would fill an immediate need.

20) Det - CB Vontrae Davis. With the rest of the OT's available to the Lions at the top of the 2nd they'd be better served by addressing the Defense that was mostly to blame for them going 0-16. If Jerry falls here he'd be welcomed with open arms as well as any of the Defenders who could slide. DT Ziggy Hood and LB James Laurinatis are possibilities as well if Davis's character deters the Lions.

21) Phi - *trade for either Boldin or Edwards. TE Brandon Pettigrew. Would be tempted by Moreno if he falls, and could also go for a WR here incase they don't land one of the veterans on the trading block. Pettitgrew is the top rated TE who has great size, blocks, and is a good reciever... would replace LJ Smith.

22) Min - T Eben Britton. The best of the 2nd tier OT's will sneak into the bottom of the 1st just like high 2nd T's do every year. The Vikings could also look at WR here.

23) NE - OLB Clay Mathews. Perfectly suited to replace Vrabel, very similar type player. His father also played for Beliceck.

24) Atl - LB James Laurinatis. With DT, DE, and SS bigger needs, the Falcons hate to see all the 1st round type players gone here. DE Everette Brown is a possibility here if he falls but he's a part time player due to his lack of size, same for DE Michael Johnson. Lauinatis would start and bring leadership. With so many holes to fill though, Atl would be best served by trading down.

25) Mia - LB Clint Sintim. Everette Brown would be tempting if still available, but Sintim played OLB in college for former Parcells assistant Groeh. WR Kenny Britt is also a possibility due to his size, but Bill opts for his favorite possition in order to make Brady's life difficult.

26) Bal - WR Darrius Heyward-Bey. Probably won't be available due to his 4.3 speed, but his production suggest he should be picked in this area. They could also look at other WR's such as Britt, Nicks, and Harvin here but each come with question marks. CB Davis or Butler could be possibilities.

27) Ind - DT Evander Hood. A bit of a reach, Hood is the best available DT and suits the upfield athletic style of Defense that the Colts play.

28) Buf - DE Everrette Brown. Not likely to fall this far, at 28 the Bills would feel better about him only playing on passing downs. If he's not available here then either DE Johnson or C Alex Mack would be strong possibilities.

29) NYG - *trade for WR Edwards or Boldin. If the Giants can't make a deal then WR Kenny Britt whom many scouts compare to TO and Brandon Marshall on and off the field could wind up replacing Burress. LB Laurinatis would be a good fit aswell if he falls here.

30) Ten - CB Darrius Butler. Super athlete with little production, in a class that's weak at DB, Butler has seen his stock soar. Ten does a good job at identifying needs down the road and grabbing players to have for them later... thus the CB pick here. CB Alphonso Smith, WR Hakeem Nicks, WR Percy Harvin, or a DT could also be the pick here.

31) Arz - RB Chris Wells. One of the top backs who has good speed for a big guy, he replaces Edge and keeps the Cards offense rolling. DE Jarron Gilbert or NT Ron Brace could be possible here as well as DE Fili Moala. DE/OLB Larry English could sneak in here also.

32) Pit - *trade down or C/G Alex Mack. The Steelers need a T badly but none available carry a 1st round grade; if Pit takes one it would be a Hou for Brown type reach. If they cant move down, (Dallas looks like a possibility here), then they'd go for Mack who is the best C in the draft and wait for a T next round. With an aging DL they could take a serious look at DE Moala or Gilbert or NT Brace. CB's Davis or Butler could be tempting if they slide as well as undersized but very solid CB Alphonso Smith.

“Beat Brown’s Caption” Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

“The way you captured a nation will forever be stamped on history.  We all thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Mr. President.”

The Finger Wag has retired

We were all at the bar last night enjoying a few drinks and watching basketball, when we noticed that someone was being carted off the floor during the Rockets/Blazers game.

Turns out, it was none other than Cookie Monster himself, Dikembe Mutombo. 

This quote from him pretty much seals the deal on him being done with the game.

"I'm going to need surgery. For me, basketball is over. I cried so much about it when I was laying on the floor."

Wow.  That really sucks.  So ends an 18 year career that saw him amass a shit ton of blocks to end up second on the all-time list. 

Good bye, Dikembe.  Your finger wags, Cookie Monster voice, shenanigans and honest to God goodwill towards poor African nations will be remembered

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to

So, I’m allowed to do whatever I want on the blog today because it’s my birthday.  I’m just going to put down a list of things that I hate. (This isn’t an exhaustive list.)

• Midgets
• Teenagers
• People who don’t get sarcasm
• Cats
• Peach flavored yogurt
• Women who think it’s okay to fart
• Old Japanese people
• Oklahoma
• Sarah Jessica Parker
• The Violent Femmes
• Cooper Manning
• Frosted tips
• Mohawks and Faux-hawks
• White people with chinese character tattoos
• Hippies
• Twitter
• People who go to tanning salons

Ok, so I kind of ran out of gas there…told you it wasn’t exhaustive.  Anyway,  it’s time to ask the eternal question…how can she slap?

Just another day! Nothing to see here!

So today is 4-20, or international weed day.

This is one of those days that is a much bigger deal when I was you're like 19.

so I've heard.

not that I do drugs......

because they are illegal.....

not because they aren't fun and all.....

so I've heard......

I don't do drugs.

I'm going to stop before Mr. Blossman knocks at my door.

Here is some good good family guy.



i don't do drugs.