This is what the internet was made for

so whom ever made this can share it with the world.

A product all girls should have.

I remember seeing this awhile ago, but forgot about it till i saw it agian today.

I would totally get my girlfriend one of these, but you as you know, she is in Europe, waiting on a visa, and she doesn't like talking on the phone with people she has never met, but trust me, she is real.

Giggle

Don't worry the college post will be up later today. This was too funny to pass up.





more like this over at Comicsalliance.com

(I know, i'm a dork)

Future of Hip-Hop?

Nas on the Future of hip hop.



Funny. HT WWTD

Elvis is my hero

A certain team that won't be named, has a certain young SS named Elvis. This is his walk up music. Holy Crap.




Chacaroon indeed.

He make me giggle

Craig Robinson Screensaver from Craig Robinson

Craig Robinson ScreenSavor

Looks like the Lamar Odom contract talks with the Lakers not going so good...

Giggle.

Giggle (too soon?)

The Warmingglow, Well done.



Well done indeed.

Another reason i'm scared of getting old

Every time I drink, I feel it. Every time I work out, I feel it. Hell Every time I look at a teenager and think "holy crapy they are young," I feel it.

And now, another reason to be scared of getting old.



now how will i get chicks?

Have a good weekend.

Even Hitler is relaxing this weekend.

Have a good one from your portly blogger and suntanned superman.

Friday Mid Day Pick Me Up

My Thought Process

Yup, that's what goes through my mind.

Greatest. Story. Ever.

There are days when you come across a story that is so crazy, wild and nuts that you really don't know what to do yourself. I don't like to wish bad things on people, but i will laugh my ass off when something like this happens.

Meet Vince Shlomi. He's probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers.

The ShamWow guy's last name is Shlomi? That was worth reading the article right there. But wait, there is more.

Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room.

Violent confrontation with a prostitute huh? Well, I wonder what he did, or asked the hooker to do, that started this "confrontation." Please lord let it have been an argument over how much man juice a shamwow can hold, with Shlomi issuing the line "well lets see how much blood it can clean up!"

(Shlomi) retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris(the hooker) about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.

I don't know much about hooker laws and practices, but I would like to think if you bring one up to your super nice hotel room, offer to pay her 1000 bucks for just some regular sex, and then you explain to her that your the shamwow guy, she shouldn't bite your tongue. But that's just me.

After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons

Whoa Whoa, Booze was involved? Get the Fuck Out. And this was his mug shot.



I swear to you these two picks are of the same person. ShamWow, you have ruined yet another life.

H/T : Film Drunk

Got a case of the Mondays?

Well take a look at this.

How can you not be happy after looking at this? From its creator, over at Plan to fail.

"for the unenlightened, here's a quick rundown of whats in it

big puffy clouds
mountains
meadow
frank lloyd wright house Falling Water
rolls royce phantom
bear skin rug with Bryce Dallas Howard on it
a shit load of lab puppies
daft punk performing
a saddled trex with corked teeth
and shit tons of beer to enjoy with my friends C.S.Lewis, G.K. Chesterton, St. Thomas Aquinas, J.R.R. Tolkien and Jesus Christ"

I would have put in Orson Scott Card instead of Tolkien, and Chris Farley instead of Chesterton, but a good list none the less.

I guarantee you this will happen to me one day

I play golf. I have a bad temper and a short fuse. Obviously, those two things don't mix well. So when I saw this story, I knew that I was pretty much looking into a crystal ball.

It's bound to happen one day. The question isn't "if", it's "when".

The real reason I was gone for so long

I spent some time down in Tampa Bay.

and to think all it would have taken to get me free was 500 bucks.

GMV - Funny Friday

Internet gate is at almost 2 weeks. But i swear the GMV will be back as soon as I am. But fear not, i'm going to bring Funny Fridays to all you sexy readers.

This week its the greatnes that is the Flight of the Concords. Before the show they were just an extreamly talented comedy act. You may have heard some of these songs before. Here are my favs.

GMV - Funny Friday

In the spirit of Oldie but Goody's, I was talking with a friend of mine this week, and we were remembering the greatness that is Dave Chappelle. So here is some good old Dave.

Chickens


Seaseme Street


Hey Baby?


And Who can do a Dave bit without "Piss on you"

A sad day,

So i found out the other day that one of my favorite sites is closing its doors. (Its becoming a trend isn't it Gerry?). It truly is a sad day that soon, T-Shirt Hell is going under.

Sarcastic mother fuckers everywhere, especially brown and I, are sad to see you go sir.

I mean they had shirts for everybody.

Me

Brown

Chicks

Jews

Cathloics

The Troops

Friends of Carl Badlander

And everybody else.

GMV - Funny Friday

SO, for a reason that I will explain when I can, the Internet at my work, where I do 99% of my blogging, has been out the last few days, and still is. No Internet at work, means no good posts from me, your portly blogger pal. And since I've been rocking the GMV's, I'm sorry to all you peeps who have missed them, (if there are any at all). Its Friday, so I'm going to make up for it with a little Demetri Martin. Funny Funny Fun Bags.