Is Garrett the right man for the job?

Patience, my young padowan

We’ll see, I guess.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock or too busy watching Glee to take, you’ve seen that Jason “Garrett-Top” Garrett is officially the new Cowboys coach.  Based on him taking a 1-7, listless team and turning them into a competitive 5-3 team, he got the job and an unexpected vocal confirmation that he’ll have final control over coaches and players.

Only 2 men have had that type of control under Jerrah, Jimmy and Parcells.   What does that mean for Garrett?

Who knows? 

Jimmy coached in a time without free agency and salary caps (don’t quote me on the second part, it does make me look smart though).   He put together a team rife with talent, made big trades and operated without interjection from a novice Jerry Jones.  For all intents and purposes, Jimmy took this franchise and brought it into the modern era.  If Landry was #1 in the Cowboy coaching books, for our generation of Cowboys fans, Jimmy is 1A.  

Parcells came in on his white horse amid Gaily and Campo.  He took a lazy, underachieving team that Jerry had mutated, and brought them back to norm.  He didn’t win playoff games or a Super Bowl, but he took the Cowboys from joke to back in the discussion.  Like with Jimmy, Jerry ceded control to Parcells.  Parcells, however, brought in the old guard (Pepper Johnson, Mo Carthon, etc.) and tried to re-create the magic he had in New York and New England.  He had the right philosophy, but the wrong execution.

Whitlock nailed it on the head when he described Peyton Manning over-thinking and over-doing. He said that the greatest quarterbacks of their time had a coach that was cerebral enough to think for them and allow the players to execute on the field.  To quote him, “Joe Montana had Bill Walsh. Tom Brady has Bill Belichick. Terry Bradshaw had Chuck Noll. John Elway had Mike Shanahan. Troy Aikman had Jimmy Johnson. Bart Starr had Vince Lombardi.”  The NFL is a quarterbacks league, and if Tony Romo is the next Staubach/Aikman (great QB, rings) instead of the next Meredith/White (great QB, no ring), then he must have his Yoda.

Can Jason Garrett be that Yoda?  He says he’s sat with Jimmy and Troy to learn from them.  Forget the Princeton education, does he have the sideline education?  He spent more than enough time behind Jimmy and Norv with a clipboard.  What has he gleaned?  Will he over-think it or will he be Tony Romo’s brain for him?   Jason Garrett’s job is to hire the assistant coaches around him to handle the player squads around him. His focus should be on synching his quarterback’s brain with his own and letting Romo do it on the field.

What the hell is happening in Redskins land?

As a Cowboy fan, I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t at all giddy at the fact that the Redskins haven’t been a contender for 10 years.  However, there’s only a certain amount of pleasure you can take in a fandom’s plight when they’re on the ground bleeding and keep getting kicked in the head.

Is it safe to say that Dan Snyder is the worst owner in the NFL?  He’s got contention from Al Davis (and to a lesser degree, Jerrah), but no one could be more blinded by his own perceived light than this guy.

Take a look a this from Steinberg's blog…

“…there's a new policy that says no signs of any sort are permitted inside the stadium. Even signs sending best wishes to husbands in Afghanistan.

When and why was this change made? I asked Monday morning, and as of Monday evening, a Redskins spokesman said he still wasn't sure.

…

Now, no signs or banners are permitted whatsoever. A spokesman told me that this policy is meant to protect spectators from getting injured by signs, and also to make sure everyone can see the action. Because obstructed views at that stadium could not possibly be tolerated.”

What. In. The. Fuck.

How far up one’s ass does one’s head need to be to not realize how bad things really are around them?

Bad signings.  Zero patience.  No listening to the advisors around him.

Either Snyder has adopted the Beltway attitude of “things are great on the hill, who cares about off of it” or he’s really just envisioning himself as some kind of dictator who must crush any kind of rebellion against him.  Either way, it’s come to a point where I actually feel sorry for Redskins fans.

 

(Note:  I do not feel sorry for Redskins fans.)

“The party passes seems like a good idea…on paper”

 

That was the final (sober) test message I received from Bizzle on his visit to the disastrous opening of the Death Star on Sunday night.  (His tale is comedic enough as it is involving him riding his bike to the stadium, getting drunk, losing his friends, avoiding a riot and being too short to see the screen, but I’ll leave that for him to tell one day.)

I’m a Cowboys fan.  However, the idea of going to that cluster fuck of a stadium and seeing a game in that monstrosity is the most unappealing concept on the planet.   Just so we’re clear, you’re asking me to spend a minimum of $100 (ticket, transportation, beer, parking, etc.) to watch television because I can’t see the field.

“But it’s something to see!” 

“It’s the Cowboys!”

“Games are fun!”

All valid points.  But what am I paying for, really?  The chance to see a poorly coached team half-ass it through a game while an ego-maniacal psycho sits in his booth in the sky and lords over legions of fans who turn on a dime and are interested for maybe 10 minutes?   Teams aren’t afraid to play here.  Our fans aren’t intimidating in the least.

“How dare you say that!?  I’m a fan, I cheer all game long!”

Yeah, you and all the other people shuttled off to the cattle class of the “party pass”.   The stadium itself just doesn’t appear as though it’s fan friendly.   The stadium is seemingly turning into the AAC during Mavs games, which isn’t a good thing.  

“You haven’t been!”

Yeah, fuck you, that isn’t my point.  The reviews of the 100,000 people who did go seem to paint a good enough picture.  

I’ll tell you what events you should go to if you really want a fan experience that’ll blow your fucking nuts off.  College Football. 

Go to a big program’s stadium on a game day and buy a ticket.  It isn’t corporate, it’s fans.  Sure, you’ve got alumni that are pompous and quiet, but they’re the minority, not the majority.  DKR Texas Memorial Stadium?  It’s considered quiet by college football standards, but it’ll rock your balls off on game day. Ever been to Kyle Field on game day?  Fucking Cult Mad house.  I can’t imagine the scene in Gainesville, Ann Arbor, Columbus, etc.

My point is, when the “common” fans are given the control of the stadium/arena, then the home field advantage is felt, and it’s a fun atmosphere and it’s worth the money that you pay for it. When you’re trying to impress the corporations and the high dollar customer, you become a laughing stock and the opportunity cost of going versus staying at home is not even a debate.

Silly Jerry. Your big TV is too Big.

Yea, he hit the big TV.

Tony’s a free man!

Well, it hasn’t exactly been a secret.  I hate Jessica Simpson.  Hate her.  I can find a big tittied, overweight blond anywhere in Dallas. Why should this bitch be famous?

Anyway, if you didn’t see the story (and I’m not sure why), Tony pulled a move that I personally find so awesome, it brought a tear to my eye.  Allow me to show you how I believe it went…

Jessica: It’s my birthday coming up tomorrow.

Tony: Golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. Bobby Carpenter.

Jessica: I want to have a party.

Tony: Boat. Boat. Golf. Jason Witten. Guitar Hero.

Jessica: How about a Barbie and Ken party?

Tony: Go—…what?

Jessica: A Barbie and Ken Party!  I can be Barbie!!!

Tony: That’s it. I’m out.  Peace, bitch.

And…scene.

You might think that I’d be happy that Tony’s single.  I am happy that he’s lost the weight.  However, as much as I love Tony Romo, he’s a big ol’ douche. 

My fear is that now he’s going to be more focused on partying and being a douche that he’s going to be that much less focused on football…and this is supposed to be his breakout season.

Jerry’s (probably more Steven) made all the moves this off-season to make this team Tony Romo’s.  Gone went Owens.  Garrett has simplified the playbook and made it run-heavier.  Marty B has kept people entertained. (Captain Crunch!!!!)  Now it’s Tony’s turn to show that the right moves were made.

Think about it.  For all the crap Owens pulled, was he ever out of shape?  Was he ever missing practices?  Didn’t his teammates, for the most part, love him and follow him?   Can you say the same thing about Tony Romo? 

new big TV

Still a little hazy from sunday (can't shake em like i could 6 years ago), as brown pointed out. But we will try and press though the fog.

Here is a video of the new Cowboy stadium Jumbo-Tron.



Looks cool.

Dallas Cowboy Progress Report

The Mighty (and great) MJD over at The Shutdown Corner at Yahoo! has provided a lengthy and thorough Dallas Cowboy progress report, and I suggest you check it out.

Some highlights…

“If the Cowboys are going to have team t-shirts printed up with a slogan for the 2009 season, I'd like to suggest, "FORGET YOUR POPCORN." The era of popcorn needs to be over. It's time to usher in an era of just being a football team.”

“Recently, it seems like the Cowboys have been more of a general entertainment entity than an actual football team.”

“For now, though, I think the lack of headlines is progress enough. They've signed low-key guys who can contribute, I liked their volume approach to drafting, and they've done it all without being flashy or bringing distractions upon themselves.”

Thoughts from One of the Good Ones - A Neyfa Rant

We always encourage people to hit us up if they have something to say, and one of our Followers is Neyfa. Sometimes he's our political correspondent, and sometimes (like what your about to read) he is a die hard cowboy fan. Enjoy

Like you woudn't hit that.

With the new Cowboys Stadium set to open this season I had a few thoughts I wanted to share about the Cowboys fans.

Most of you are complete assholes. Seriously, how many of you are there when the Cowboys aren’t worth a shit? Also why are you such pussies at the stadium? I’ve gone to games and seen you. None of you say shit when you see some dickhead wearing a Steelers jersey or worse yet a goddamn Redskins jersey. These people are enemies to America’s team which makes them enemies of America. They should be treated accordingly. At the very least they should have nachos dumped on them. Personally I think instead of the Cowboy’s Corral there should be a Gitmo like prison for any dipshit stupid enough to wear an opposing team’s jersey in our house.

Only in Dallas do we slam our quarterback for railing the celebrity with the biggest tits outside of porn or wrestling. Let’s be honest here. Every boy from Texas wants to grow up and be a Dallas Cowboy and it appears that every girl wants to grow up and bang a Dallas Cowboy. Not only that but none of you can honestly say you wouldn’t fuck Jessica Simpson and blow all over her tits or at the very least motor boat those things.

Also stop the bullshit Romo bashing. Aside from people all pissed that he’s banging Jessica Simpson it turns out that Romo apparently sucks and Jay Cutler would be much better. Give me a fucking break, this dude is a badass who is fucking Jessica Simpson, turned out Carrie Underwood so bad that she’s been reduced to chasing hockey players like a Hanson brother’s groupie, and has set all sorts of team passing records. With the possible exception Tom Brady (who is a douche because he plays for New England) there isn’t a player on the list with better credentials. Sure, Big Ben has two rings but he rides crotch rockets. Nobody who does that can really be respected. Both of the Manning brothers have a ring but they can’t even tie their own shoes much less string a sentence together. As for Cutler, he’s a little bitch and I’m appalled that people would even consider wanting that crybaby for the Cowboy’s quarterback.

By the way, the Cowboys should win the Super Bowl this year. Despite a lousy draft they are still better than any other team. Let’s just hope they don’t underachieve like their asshole fans.

Stephen McGee. Really?

I really don’t know what the Cowboys were doing yesterday during the draft.  I can’t make sense of, well, any of the picks. 

A shit ton of tweener linebackers.

A so-so secondary set.

A meh offensive lineman.

A kicker???

And a quarterback.

Look, I don’t claim to know more about football or the draft than anyone employed by the NFL, or a majority of people I know.  But, you can’t look at me with a straight face and tell me that the Cowboys’ number one goal was to draft a new special teams squad.

As for McGee.  It made me shake my head to make sure I wasn’t still drunk from the prior night.  I got about 10 different text messages regarding it as well. (That’s right, I know 10 different people! Who’s popular now!?!) 

If you ask me, Jerry needed to sell tickets to the new stadium, and Aggies are just stupid enough to buy tickets to cheer McGee on the sideline. 

(Commence the “oh yeah? He beat Texas twice!” comments.)

Shh…Dallas fans, just watch and pray

That’s right, I imagine Dallas’s sports gods are the Von Erichs

I think that somehow, somewhere, the Sports Gods have decided to temporarily hold their hands over Dallas.  I’m not sure if they’ve heard our bitches and moans and prayers.  It might be forgiveness for time served after Laura Miller doomed us all with the “parade incident” in 2006.  Either way, something is changing on the Dallas sports scene.

You might remember that since 2006, Dallas sports teams have broken hearts across the city.  It was a bit staggered, Rangers winning 80 games then returning to suck.  Mavs winning 63 games then flaming out against Golden State. Cowboys winning 13 games and returning to suck.  Stars making an improbable run to the conference finals only to be ravaged by injuries and losing this year.

However, I went to the Mavs game last night and noticed something I haven’t noticed in a very long time.  First, the Mavs were playing some of the best basketball they’ve played since 2006.  Second, not a single fan in the house was “bandwagoning” (or so it appeared) .

Then, I get into the car to go home and flick on the Ranger postgame, and it dawns on me that the Rangers have started the season 2-0 and it has been a very convincing 2-0.  I know, there’s 160 more games to play, but if you’ve ever been a Rangers fan, a 2-0 start with the way they’ve played these 2 games and the possibility to rock Pavano and then sweep a weak Detroit team and possible open 6-0?  That’s nuts.

Compound that with all the stress reduction, fat cutting and new house moving that the Cowboys are doing and the fact that a disappointed Stars team is going to be healthy and hungry next sesaon, and you can almost feel a change brewing in the city again.

I’m not saying we’re going to be sweeping all the major titles in a single year.  I’m not even saying we’re going to in a single title.  What I’m saying is, perhaps the fans and teams have reached a sense of happy equilibrium…it’s something to think about.

Please, oh please, let this be true

I’m a spare!!!

Saw this on in the Dallas Morning News and had a tiny little celebration.

The Cowboys have looked into the possibility of trading linebacker Bobby Carpenter, according to sources, but might be more reluctant to move the former first-round pick with Kevin Burnett's departure.

Finally!  How long have people in and around the Metroplex been begging for this sorry sack of shit to be cut from the team?  As much good as Parcells did for the Cowboys, his nepotistic take on former players (Keyshawn, Mo Carthon, etc.) and their children killed our draft.

Really?  A number one pick on Bobby Carpenter?  Guhhh.

I say good riddance, and good day to you sir.  I don’t care if you’re Tony Romo’s friend.  Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out of Valley Ranch.

Did the Cowboys cure cancer?

TO doing his best Kanye...

The text came through from Big last night, "Good bye TO". My first thought was, "holy crap, Big is alive!" then I remembered that he gave up the internet for lent (you thought I was kidding, didn't you?). Anyway, I checked the interwebs, and lo and behold, Terrell Eldorado Owens was released by your Dallas Cowboys.

Does this cure the cancer between him and Pacman?

Is the real Roy Williams ready to step up?

What excuse does our Hollywood loving, chubby chasing quarterback have left?

Use the comments to share your thoughts on the release of Owens...

And just like that, he redeems himself...maybe

He looks almost Favre-ian

Tony Romo has been loved and hated by both of us.

We loved him for his goofy ass persona and his seemingly unending bag of jedi moves on the field. We loved the fact he was more interested in playing "Guitar Hero" then he was in being Keith Davis or Pacman Jones. He was dating one of the hottest bitches on the planet in Carrie Underwood, and just playing "fubaw".

We hated him when he dumped Carrie Underwood for Jessica Simpson (though she was hot when he did). We hated him when he decided to jet set to Cabo instead of focusing on the playoffs last year only to see Eli win a god damned Super Bowl before him. We hated him when he showed more interested in attempting to qualify for the U.S. Open than getting ready for this season. We hated him for his slow morph into retard on the field and total douchebag on the field.

And then he goes and does something like this...

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Tony Romo has joined the ranks of the chubby chasers!!!

Big and I have a soft spot in our hearts for big girls. Me, I know they try harder and nothing annoys me more than a girl who picks at a salad and claims to be full after two bites and a glass of wine. Big just enjoys the moment where he can quirk an eyebrow at her when he removes his shirt and say "come on, you know you're not doing any better than my fat bouncing off your muffin top a couple of times before I need a Gatorade and a rest".

Tony, you keep this up and you might just win our hearts back.

Really Jerry?

Yea, Dallas Cowboys to star in new Training Camp Reality Contest.

The "always right" Mike Irvin will host a training camp contest to award the last spot on the Cowboys roster. Yea, lets not let the Head Coach pick his assistant coaches, or the type of offence/deffense he runs, now lets not even let him pick his full team.

And you expect player to respect you coaches.....HA!

Wait, who are you again?

The NFL is great, right? If you have been following our site through the ages, you know I love me some NFL draft. It's my favorite non sports sporting event of the year. By a mile.

To my dismay, the Cowboys don't have a first round draft pick(yet), so it makes looking through drafts boards not so much fun. But have no fear, sexy readers, That's where I com in. Through out the off season you can check back at TB&TB for a little draft love on the boys. I'll bring you a few names ever so often that I see come up in draft boards, and let you know a little bit about them.

Michael Hamlin, S Clemson
Bio from CSTV

has started 30 games in the last three years, Second-Team All-ACC by AP/ACSMA, Rivals.com, and CollegeFootballNews.com in 2007, has seen his tackle total rise each year from 55 to 64 to 97, has a combined 29 tackles in the last two bowl games, including 15 in the 2006 Music City Bowl and 14 in the 2007 Chick-fil-A Bowl, second-team All-American and #2 strong safety in the nation by Phil Steele.

Patrick Chung SS Oregon
Bio from GoDucks.

Utilizes speed and outstanding feel for the game to emerge as a solid cover defender as well as a great tackler. Possesses the flexibility to start at any one of four slots in the secondary, yet coaches prefer to leave him at rover in order to take greatest advantage of his knack as a playmaker. Clocked as program’s second-fastest player (4.56 40) following his redshirt freshman year and peaked with a 297-lb. bench press.


Rashad Johnson S, Alabama
Bio from NFLDraftScout

13 GP; 13 GS; 57 Sol-94 TT, 5.5 TFL, 1 SK, 6 INT, 8 PBU, 2 QBH, 1 FF, Named 2007 Team Captain and earned UA's Co-Defensive Player of the Year honors, Rated number 4 out of 107 FS's

Emmanuel Cook S, South Carolina
Bio from Fantasy Football Junkie.

Pros: Is one of the hardest-hitting safties in the NCAA. Has the ability to stop runningbacks and receivers behind the line of scrimmage. Will be able to run with NFL receivers. Cons: Doesn't always wrap up his tackles. May not always come down with a jump ball. Overall: Cook can make his presence in the NFL as a starter or on special teams. Is an all-around good athlete. Will be a good addition to any team.

so there is a jumpoff with some safety's that will probably be there when the Boys have their first pick in the 09 Draft.

And Tom Hicks takes the lead.

Am I Really About to Say This?

I can't believe I'm about to say this, it hurts every bone in my body, every being of my soul wants to smack me in the face and say "what you talkin' about white boy," (i know its strange that I feel my soul is an old black guy), but I have come to the conclusion that..........

Tom Hicks is the best owner in Dallas right now.

I can barley type that with out my hands shaking worse than Michael J. Fox popping some no doze while coming off a two week crack binge.

Still, I think it's true. Let me try and explain it.

For the longest time, people have thought half of the ownership group of our fare mextroplex's sports teams, The Cowboys and Mavericks, have "do anything to win" owners who will......well, do anything to win.

While the Rangers and Stars have an old "money first" blue blooded shill as an owner. And Its been long thought of that this is the way it will always be. I can't count the times that I myself have said, "If only Tom Hicks(owner of the Rangers and Stars) would open his pocketbook and bring in players, this team could be something." It would take more than my and and feet to count, I will say.

But over the past two years, something has changed. Something has gone terribly wrong.

When you think of Jerry Jones, you think of the meddling owner with a desire to do anything in his power to win superbowls, yet this team hasn't won a playoff game in over a 10 years.

When you think of Mark Cuban, you think of a in your face owner who sits court side, loves his team, and will do anything he can to make the Mav's the best team in the NBA, yet they have gone in a span of 3 years from choking away(with a little help from the refs) a world title to losing in the first round of the playoffs the last two years, to now being not even guaranteed a playoff spot come may.

So what's the problem here? If these two coaches want so badly to win, and will do anything to win, why arn't they winning?

In the case of Jerry Jones, in his heart of hearts, it isn't about just winning, its about proving to everybody that he can win without anybody else getting the credit. If you were to ask Jerry Jones what he wants more, to be the GM of the Cowboys or win a Superbowl, he has proven though his actions its the former. If you look at his record, trades, drafts and over all running of the team over the past 15 years(since Jimmy left), the cowboys themselves haven't been any better than a team like the lowly Lions. They have been more often at the bottom of the standings than at the top, and have 2 good runs (bills first year, and last year), but have still failed to win a playoff game.

The only constant here is Jerry. If a restaurant has bad cook, It doesn't matter how good the ingredients are, or where the restaurant is, or how hot the staff is, if your cook is bad, the restaurant will fail. So Jerry can bring in more TO's, more Packman's and more first round draft picks, but until he realises the cook is why the food sucks, the Cowboys might be doomed for more years like this, than like last.

With Mark Cuban, the same problems are there, but for different reasons. Where Jerry it is pride and desire to prove that he can do it all by himself, Cuban's problem steams from how close he is to the team he owns. Its no secret that Cuban loves his team, and by loving the team he has developed personal relationships with his players, and thus, will over pay and over value them.

His latest statement, and I'm pretty sure I'm not messing this one up, is "I'm not trading Josh." Its not "I'm not trading Howard" or even "Josh Howard," but simply Josh. Josh has been here almost as long as Cuban, and was a big part of the Mav's return to glory, so its easy to see why Cuban would have an emotional attachment to him, but that isn't always the best thing when it come to running a team. Its that whole bit of you don't want to have your friends work underneath you, because it makes it hard to fire your friends, even when they deserve it, or in this case, is better for the company.

And This brings us to the other owner of sports teams in the Metroplex, the oft hatted Tome Hicks, the guy would if a poll was taken today, would be the least liked owner of a sports team in Dallas by a large margin.

But why?

Tom Hicks has made no secret that owning a sports team hardly anything more than a money making venture to him. He's not a big fan of the sports, or at least he doesn't seem to be. He won't knee jerk and make a big splash like signing TO, or get in front of a camera and bash the referees of last nights game.

What he will do is find a person who know the sport of the team he owns, put them in charge of player/personal, and let this person, or in the stars case persons, make the decisions that they feel are right and best for his teams. Now granted, he does this with a very strict budget in mind, and the end results that he wants isn't trophy's, but large bank accounts. Still, he finds smart baseball people like John Daniels and Nolan Ryan, and then steps away to let them work. If the team doesn't make any money, he gets rid of them and trys something else.

He has allowed John Daniels to make moves with the roster of the Rangers. At first they didn't look so good, (Young, Gonzalez) but now he has built one of the best farm system's in all of baseball.

He has allowed Brett Hull of the Stars come to him and say "we need to get nastier on the ice, so let go get Sean Avery," and they did. AND THEN when it became obvious that Avery wasn't the answer, but a GIGANTIC locker room cancer, Hull told Hicks they had to cut him, and Hicks said yes.

Now, if any of these moves lead to the Ranger or Stars not making any money, believe it that Hicks will find replacements for everybody.

So Which owner is the truly the best?

The "I'll do anything to win as long as its my way, and I'm in charge" Jerry Jones.

The "I put so much into this team, i can't let go of the friends that I have made on it" Mark Cuban.

Or the "I'm going to find smart people, put them in charge, yet give them a tight budget to work with" Tom Hicks.

I'm giving (gulp!) the nod to Hicks.

Now I need to go take a shower to wash off all this shame.

Oh dear god, no.

My "Cowboy fans are dating the crazy girl" article makes so much sense now.

This came across my email today. Scroll down past the Kevin Bacon news to the little sub headline, "Tony Romo may pop the question"

Us Weekly reports that Romo and Simpson, who began dating in November 2007, dined with Joe and mom Tina Jan. 7 at their Encino home. The next day, Romo and Joe hit L.A.’s Studio City Golf Course.

“Tony is better than Joe, but they were laughing a lot,” Us reports.

Later that day, Romo played tennis with Simpson family friend (and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz’s ex) Ryan Cabrera, and that night he cuddled with his girlfriend at Bar Delux (her sister was there, too!).

With Romo finally so tight with the entire family, could an engagement be far behind?

“They are getting there,” says a source, adding that Romo will ask Joe for permission. “They will announce it when it happens. They will want everyone to know!”

Hey, you stupid fuck, why the fuck are you playing golf and fucking around in L.A.???

Look, I'm not stupid enough to think that football players should be focused on football 24/7/365. That being said, when you have an abortion of a season that was marred with injuries and you're entire fan base is starting to desert you, and you said the stupidest thing possible when the season ended...shouldn't you at least put on airs that your having some kind of remorse?

Why the hell does Romo get a pass for this? I mean that. If we read a story that Owens, Williams or Newman were cavorting around in Hollywood and playing golf and tennis and "cuddling", wouldn't we be kind of pissed?

All I want to hear is that Romo spends his days rehabbing his back, throwing passes through a tire swing and studying film. That. Is. It.

I know I'm asking a lot as a fan, but let me repeat something I said last year on the slim chance that Tony Romo googles himself and hits this page.

Tony, you're not Tom Brady. You haven't won anything that Tom Brady has won. You haven't earned the leeway that Tom Brady has earned. You have lost the faith of your team, your fans, and the entire football landscape. Just stay out of the media and make us think you're doing nothing but focusing on football and getting this team where it needs to be.

Jerry Jones needs to sign a backup to push Romo to focus. I recommend my favorite young quarterback in the league, Tyler Thigpen. Scott Pioli is probably going to let him go and start fresh, so, um, how's about it?

So, now what......

Over the Christmas break, I did, what many people do who follow football as hardcore as we do, realized its all about to be over. There is always that one moment where when you are least expecting it to, it hits you like a fist full dicks..........Footballs almost over.

Oh Fuck.

That moment happened for me when I was driving from downtown Dallas to my house in the burbs, listening to the start of the second half of the Cowboys debacle vs the Eagles. The first half was spent a somewhat douchy bar downtown, hanging with a buddy for his birthday. The game was on, I wasn't being very social, and I realized that this whole birthday party thing was going to go for the rest of the night, so I excused myself from it, headed home during halftime with the idea of meeting back up later to party, and now I could really watch the boys make the playoffs.

Then the second half started, and we all pretty much know what happened.

So when I pulled into my apt, turned off the play-by-play, and with a full quarter and some change to go, I sat there in silence thinking, "There goes football season."

And do you know what the twisted part is? I should be used to this by now, right? I mean look at truthfully. I'm a Dallas sports fan. The Cowboys haven't won a playoff game in 10 some odd years, the Mavericks keep sucking me in so the they shit all over me, I don't dig Hockey that much, and the Rangers have always, and will always, suck ass. I went to a college that for four years a 500 record and being number one in the worst conference in Div 1 was what we expected and got. Now? Winning one game a year would be a step in the right direction.

So I should be used to teams shitting on my face right? I mean my AOL Chat name is DallasBlumpkin420. And to an extent, i think i am. But something was different with this cowboy team. Maybe it was the lofty expectations. Maybe it was the time invested. But more than likely it was the attitude of the whole team that got me down. TO Owens, Pacman Jones, Tony Romo, Wade Phillips..... None of those guys really got me excited or proud to be a Cowboy fan. And then how the season ended, with the whole he said she said bit, where every ex-player that had a microphone in there face were saying stupid shit like "well, TO is right, he needs the ball more, and who ever snitched on him to the media is the person who is killing this team." REALLY. IT'S THE SNITCH! THAT'S THE GUY WHO KILLED THIS WHOLE SHIP!?!

It wasn't the fact that TO spit the offence into two by going behind his QB's back to complain he throws the ball to much to his TE, or the fact that one of the starting secondary members is accused of being a part of two shootings and to prove he's not that bad of guy, gets in a donnybrook with his team appointed body guard? But that's OK, because Deion Sanders is coming on the radio saying how great a guy Pac is, and how much he has changed, and all these things are misunderstandings.

You know what, If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Dieon Sanders, the TV/Radio guy, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there in Highland Park with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is.

Hallelujah.

Holy shit.

Where's the Tylenol?

Now I know, as a football fan I should be looking forward to all the fun bowl games that were going on, and the NFL playoffs, but after a full season of thinking this Cowboy team was one of the more talented teams in the NFL, to have them fall on their face was a blow I was not ready to take.

So I started thinking college football. Nothing wrong with a little college football bowl games, right? Then I remembered that outside of Oklahoma and Florida, non of the match ups really made it move down there. And thus sent me into a bourbon soaked spiral into the spirit world.

It has taken me a few weeks, but i think I'm ready to move on. I think I'm ready to enjoy sports again, and I truly thank the Arizona Cardinals for doing that. They really made my sports wienie go crazy with the upset of Carolina. Thank you for you understanding. Lets have a kick ass 2009!

Silver(and blue) Lining?

Does it make anybody feel better that all four teams still alive in the NFL playoffs were teams that beat the Dallas Cowboys?


Yea, me neither.

stupid boots.

The 2008 Dallas Cowboys - They put the "I" in "Team" - Front Office

We're going to take some time this week and breakdown the 2008 Cowboys...just what the hell happened? Offense Monday. Defense Tuesday. Special Teams Wednesday. Coaches Yesterday. Front Office today.

Front Office

The review

When you say the words "front office" in reference to the Dallas Cowboys, you're talking about one man. Jerral "Jerry" Jones. He of the facelifts. He of the gravely voice. He of the bad grammar. He of the rootin', tootin', good God almighty I'm crazy. Jerry had an, um, interesting year this year. He brought in Pacman. He made the trade for Roy Williams. He vehemently supported Wade Phillips to the point of telling the media to basically go fuck themselves. Jerry stocked his cabinet with nothing but brand names and organics. The most expensive and impressive of ingredients to attempt to make something as simple as hamburgers, and it blew up in his face.

What to do

I love the premise that the Dallas Cowboys's owner should fire the GM, and until he does that they'll never succeed. I don't know if you can say Jerry isn't a "football guy" anymore as he's been heavily invovled for 20 years now. However, his mentality is seemingly all wrong. He thinks that by putting a bunch of names together, he can win. Ask Al Davis how well that works. Jerry needs to step back and listen to this coaches and scouts as to what this team needs. He's going to have to open his wallet for either cap penalties or key free agents.

Bright spots: Kicking Rowdy's ass off the sidelines during games

Low lights: Pacman Jones (notice a trend?)