Is Garrett the right man for the job?

Patience, my young padowan

We’ll see, I guess.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock or too busy watching Glee to take, you’ve seen that Jason “Garrett-Top” Garrett is officially the new Cowboys coach.  Based on him taking a 1-7, listless team and turning them into a competitive 5-3 team, he got the job and an unexpected vocal confirmation that he’ll have final control over coaches and players.

Only 2 men have had that type of control under Jerrah, Jimmy and Parcells.   What does that mean for Garrett?

Who knows? 

Jimmy coached in a time without free agency and salary caps (don’t quote me on the second part, it does make me look smart though).   He put together a team rife with talent, made big trades and operated without interjection from a novice Jerry Jones.  For all intents and purposes, Jimmy took this franchise and brought it into the modern era.  If Landry was #1 in the Cowboy coaching books, for our generation of Cowboys fans, Jimmy is 1A.  

Parcells came in on his white horse amid Gaily and Campo.  He took a lazy, underachieving team that Jerry had mutated, and brought them back to norm.  He didn’t win playoff games or a Super Bowl, but he took the Cowboys from joke to back in the discussion.  Like with Jimmy, Jerry ceded control to Parcells.  Parcells, however, brought in the old guard (Pepper Johnson, Mo Carthon, etc.) and tried to re-create the magic he had in New York and New England.  He had the right philosophy, but the wrong execution.

Whitlock nailed it on the head when he described Peyton Manning over-thinking and over-doing. He said that the greatest quarterbacks of their time had a coach that was cerebral enough to think for them and allow the players to execute on the field.  To quote him, “Joe Montana had Bill Walsh. Tom Brady has Bill Belichick. Terry Bradshaw had Chuck Noll. John Elway had Mike Shanahan. Troy Aikman had Jimmy Johnson. Bart Starr had Vince Lombardi.”  The NFL is a quarterbacks league, and if Tony Romo is the next Staubach/Aikman (great QB, rings) instead of the next Meredith/White (great QB, no ring), then he must have his Yoda.

Can Jason Garrett be that Yoda?  He says he’s sat with Jimmy and Troy to learn from them.  Forget the Princeton education, does he have the sideline education?  He spent more than enough time behind Jimmy and Norv with a clipboard.  What has he gleaned?  Will he over-think it or will he be Tony Romo’s brain for him?   Jason Garrett’s job is to hire the assistant coaches around him to handle the player squads around him. His focus should be on synching his quarterback’s brain with his own and letting Romo do it on the field.

A guy oversleeps and the shit hits the fan

What the hell?

I hit the snooze button one too many times and I get to wake up to my phone exploding with text messages and emails.

-McCain picks a female VP. Yup, that's right, the Alaskan governor, Sarah Palin. Genius political move. And if he wins? We get to blame America's struggle on old people and women! MY DREAM IS COMING TRUE!! By the way, we don't talk politics here, so just don't start that crap. The mere mention of US/China relations set Dorsey and Steve off in a comment record for this site.

Update: I know I just said we don't talk politics or anything, but I hope everyone realizes how historic this campaign for the Presidency is. We have one ticket with a man of mixed race and an unconventional upbringing as the major party's candidate for the highest single office in the world. The other ticket, though not the first to do so, has a woman representing a major party candidate for the second in command of the highest office in the world. I don't care what your political leanings are, and I know there are people who aren't happy to see this, but we should all take a moment and realize how monumental this really is for America. And...scene.

-Chad Johnson Ocho Cinco legally changes his name. I can't even begin to process this. I can only imagine the scene from "Family Guy" where the Japanese guy is looking up and says "Oh uh-my uh-God".

-It's Michael Jackson's 50th birthday today. There's not really a joke there, just the fact that one of the greatest singers in history is turning 50. Yes, he fucks little kids, but I just said he can sing.

-There will be no Big XII preview from me on this website. After what I've done to the Rangers by merely mentioning them during the All-Star break, I refuse to talk about my alma mater no matter how much I've studied everyone down to the red shirts. That's nothing out of the ordinary, just stop asking. That being said, college football starting up is like heroine hitting my vein...so good, so warm, so inviting. Gameday is going to feel like a coke bender.

-The Grizzlies signed an Iranian. Cue up Steve, please.

Hey wait, we grew up watching that station!

If you have paid even scant attention to sports on the internet, then you're aware of Brian Collins, more appropriately, "the boom goes the dynamite guy".

Here's the video to refresh your memory:

Wonderful.

Anyways, seems young Brian has finished his term at Ball State and has found himself working at KXXV in Waco, Texas.

Wait a second, KXXV, Channel 25 in Waco, Texas? You mean the ABC affiliate that broadcasts to the greater Central Texas area? That's right, both mine and Big's hometown, not far from Waco (it's a city commonly known as Assholeofamerica, Texas) , will now be getting a dose of the one and only Brian Collins!

Nope, still not enough to get me to visit my parents.

You'll never be better than Iandoli, buddy, so you might as well find another market.

Separate note, Robert Flores, now of ESPN Sportscenter fame, got his start in the same area on Channel 10, then moved to KEYE in Austin and is now at ESPN. So, you know, Brian does have that one in a million chance.

Sports Flash

We are going to scatter shoot a little this morning.

-Of all the anti spurs stuff, I think these guys got it best. There is no real reason for the hatred, yet i still do.

- Speaking of basketball, I couldn't have said it better, Paul Peirce is the key to the finials.

- TO, the rich get richer. But do you really want to give an older WR 4 years?

-Now your lying fake crying, Greg Ellis is still a bitch in my book

-Man, now I have to get creative when I make fun of my buddy for like liking the broncos, Travis Henry got cut. There goes the easy "pot smoking" jokes, as well as the "super sperm gives him an extra step" jokes as well. Thanks.

Lastly here is a video that suggests that the Kimbo slice fight was fixed.


But please read this guys take as to why it wasn't