Well, that was quite a sabbatical, now, wasn't it?

Sup, bitches?

Big alluded to it, and now I'm delivering on it. We're back, new and improved, TB & TB 2.0.

I wouldn't be looking for a dearth of posts, or for us to really honestly branch out and over-contribute. I loved the idea that a real site like MavsMoneyBall asked us to contribute, and I really hope that Wes and Phillip will allow us the occaisonal guest post here and there, but I don't think that a serious forum is where we fit.

I still use the twitter account, occasionally, so you're welcome to follow that. Big uses his own account now, but that's his personal thing, so you'll most likely be dealing with me on that front.

So, after my torching of the bridge in the last post, what all happened?

Easy. I got a dog. I got engaged (to a real girl!). I got a new job (Ladies, I'm on the main stage at Master Blaster on Wednesday mornings!). I got a new car (They still make the Pinto, you just have to look.). Basically, I traded in my shit hole of a life and got one worth waking up in the morning for. Cliched? Sure. Awesome? You're god damned right it is.

So what to expect in this new version of your favorite site?

Sports

I've never been a fan of really in depth statistical breakdowns. I've also never really been a fan of taking on hot button issues. I'd like to think that Big and I are fans, and just that. What you read here are the thoughts of two guys who try to cram as much sports as they can in their tiny little brains.

Wrestling

Did you know there's a rival promotion on Monday nights now? Did you know it consists of people we haven't seen wrestle since we were in high school? Do you like really pale Irish gingers?

Life

Things happen that make me laugh. I'm going to share them. For example, I farted the other day on the couch, startled the dog who looked at me in disgust and he walked over to the other room and laid down on the carpet. My lady is teaching him things, obviously.

So, re-load your bookmarks, sexy readers, the boys are back.

Whatever happened to Brown?

 

 

Could this be the beginning of a return? 

Is this the rebirth of the baddest motherfucker to sit behind a keyboard or is this going to be wrapped up quicker than Chris Benoit on a bowflex?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.  Time will tell…

A Post, poorly spelled, and not about wrestling.....Return!

Ross - "Welcome to another Random Thursday here at The Big and the Brown, or should I just call it Brown town, as its been several weeks since our large, sporty loving, semi afro wearing boss has shown his face. It has been speculated that he being some what a man of God has given up this small space on the internet for the Catholic practice known as Lent, but nobody knows for sure. What I do know for sure is that today, we have a very special day of Sports blogging, including more guest posts by friends of the site, and a very special look from Brown entitled "Why I'm the shit, and everything you like sucks." Should be quite the day!"

As Ross finishes his last sentence, through the loud speakers, The opening riffs of "Big Pappa" by Notorious B.I.G. begin to play

Ross - "Wait a minute, could it really be!?! THAT'S BIG'S MUSIC!"

At that point, this image is shown on the big screen.



a large man with curly hair on his giant head with a smile that melts away the hearts of all the ladies in audience walks out from back stage, and makes his way to the ring with a mike in his hand, stopping ever so often to slap hands with people sitting ringside and pounding his chest with a closed fist.

Ross - "OH MY GOD! IT REALLY IS HIM! IT'S BIG!

Big makes his way into the ring, walks over to the the far ring post and climbs to the second turnbuckle and points into the crowd. He gets down, walks to the center of the ring and raises the mike to his lips as the crowd around him is canting "Big! Big! Big!". He raises one hand to try and subdue the crowd, they start to settle down as he begins to talk

Big - "Holy shit its good be back here, where I belong, at the Big and the Brown!

The Crowd goes ape shit

Big - "It has been far too long since I've had the satisfaction of talking to you people. no fuck that, It has been far too long since I've had the pleasure of talking to you people!

I've been gone a little while now. I know that. And there have been plenty of excuses thrown out there as to why that was so. Everything from "he doesn't care anymore," or "he has given it up for lent," or even "the police found his porn collection and the mere sight of it caused 4 rookie cops to pass out."

Let me get very real for a minute.

I didn't leave because of lack of fire, or laziness. I didn't leave because of a commitment to God or anything like that. I didn't even really leave, was forced out by one person, and one person only. The Kaiser.

Many of you may not know the Kaiser. You may not know the power that she holds over all of us. You see, she is the one that controlls our ability to do this hobby that we all love so much. She thought that by taking away the ability to get to this site, she would kill my thirst for writing for it.

Well let me tell you something, Kaiser, you can take away the Internet, you can take away my computer, fuck it you can take away my hands, and I'll tell you this, I will never, EVER stop being who I am, and stop doing what I love to do! You will never take away "Big" again.

So until she is out of my life for good, she will try and stop me. She will try and shut off my computer, try and overload me with work, threaten to take away my pay, and she will tell me that I won't ever be the same person I was 3 months ago. And when she tells me that, all i will say is.....

My name is Big, and I'm a blogger.

And I'm back bitches!

-fade to black-

So, now what......

Over the Christmas break, I did, what many people do who follow football as hardcore as we do, realized its all about to be over. There is always that one moment where when you are least expecting it to, it hits you like a fist full dicks..........Footballs almost over.

Oh Fuck.

That moment happened for me when I was driving from downtown Dallas to my house in the burbs, listening to the start of the second half of the Cowboys debacle vs the Eagles. The first half was spent a somewhat douchy bar downtown, hanging with a buddy for his birthday. The game was on, I wasn't being very social, and I realized that this whole birthday party thing was going to go for the rest of the night, so I excused myself from it, headed home during halftime with the idea of meeting back up later to party, and now I could really watch the boys make the playoffs.

Then the second half started, and we all pretty much know what happened.

So when I pulled into my apt, turned off the play-by-play, and with a full quarter and some change to go, I sat there in silence thinking, "There goes football season."

And do you know what the twisted part is? I should be used to this by now, right? I mean look at truthfully. I'm a Dallas sports fan. The Cowboys haven't won a playoff game in 10 some odd years, the Mavericks keep sucking me in so the they shit all over me, I don't dig Hockey that much, and the Rangers have always, and will always, suck ass. I went to a college that for four years a 500 record and being number one in the worst conference in Div 1 was what we expected and got. Now? Winning one game a year would be a step in the right direction.

So I should be used to teams shitting on my face right? I mean my AOL Chat name is DallasBlumpkin420. And to an extent, i think i am. But something was different with this cowboy team. Maybe it was the lofty expectations. Maybe it was the time invested. But more than likely it was the attitude of the whole team that got me down. TO Owens, Pacman Jones, Tony Romo, Wade Phillips..... None of those guys really got me excited or proud to be a Cowboy fan. And then how the season ended, with the whole he said she said bit, where every ex-player that had a microphone in there face were saying stupid shit like "well, TO is right, he needs the ball more, and who ever snitched on him to the media is the person who is killing this team." REALLY. IT'S THE SNITCH! THAT'S THE GUY WHO KILLED THIS WHOLE SHIP!?!

It wasn't the fact that TO spit the offence into two by going behind his QB's back to complain he throws the ball to much to his TE, or the fact that one of the starting secondary members is accused of being a part of two shootings and to prove he's not that bad of guy, gets in a donnybrook with his team appointed body guard? But that's OK, because Deion Sanders is coming on the radio saying how great a guy Pac is, and how much he has changed, and all these things are misunderstandings.

You know what, If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Dieon Sanders, the TV/Radio guy, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there in Highland Park with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is.

Hallelujah.

Holy shit.

Where's the Tylenol?

Now I know, as a football fan I should be looking forward to all the fun bowl games that were going on, and the NFL playoffs, but after a full season of thinking this Cowboy team was one of the more talented teams in the NFL, to have them fall on their face was a blow I was not ready to take.

So I started thinking college football. Nothing wrong with a little college football bowl games, right? Then I remembered that outside of Oklahoma and Florida, non of the match ups really made it move down there. And thus sent me into a bourbon soaked spiral into the spirit world.

It has taken me a few weeks, but i think I'm ready to move on. I think I'm ready to enjoy sports again, and I truly thank the Arizona Cardinals for doing that. They really made my sports wienie go crazy with the upset of Carolina. Thank you for you understanding. Lets have a kick ass 2009!

I'm not taking anything away from Big...

...because I'm a big fan of his college football roundup on Mondays.

Mormons, they can be funny AND creepy

However, I've got to say, just what in the fuck happened this weekend?

I'd say this could be why college football is the best thing in the land. Every week counts, and nothing can be taken for granted.

This week's celebrations
-Gerry Dorsey and his Alabama crazy pants.
-Rich Rodriguez
-Fans of the Beaver. (giggle)
-Jevan Snead

Who's tasting the cold steel of a revolver in their mouth?
-Wisconsin. Well, at least the Brewers are doing something! Cheer up!
-Mark Richt. Yeah, good call on the "blackout", Alabama said it perfectly by saying it was Georgia's mother fucking funeral.
-Tebow. Oh, what the hell, ESPN still loves this guy and he won the Heisman with a 9-4 record, why should he give a damn?

You're new National Championship prediction

Vanderbilt vs. Northwestern

Oh yeah, just like my Bills in the Super Bowl pick.

Thing that still confuses me

Why is Pete Carroll still thought of as the greatest coach ever? Really, if Tressel (one national championship, damn near unbeaten against his rival), is considered a coach who can "never win the big one" because of his recent BCS failures. Why is Carroll (one national championship, damn near unbeaten again his rival) not mocked as a guy who always slips up on the easy game? Granted, I hate USC, but come on, this guy hasn't really done shit. His team dominates a weak conference and gets pub because their the only game in town (UCLA can say what they want). They won a single BCS title, and have faltered every year since then.

What to think of going into this weekend

After the Flying Petrinos were manhandled by Texas, how badly will Urban Meyer take out his Florida frustrations on Arkansas?

Why hello there

It appears in my travels as of late (nevermind where), I've discovered this little space of the interwebs known as "The Big and The Brown".

I see all of these posts by a fellow named Big, yet there is no Brown.

Wait a second, that's me...that's right, sexy readers, I'm back. (Wonder twin powers, activate!)

No more rants about stupid things. (Though this might be one)

No more posts about anal starlets. (For the record, that was Jenna Haze.)

No more breaking down of hip hop lyrics. (Actually, I kind of like those.)

No more promises to finish three part essays (We're all waiting for the grand conclusion, dick milk.)

So, let's see...umm...

NBA Finals? Nope, nope, pretty sure that got covered.

Shaq versus Kobe? Uh, it's not 2005 anymore.

Donaghy scandal? ESPN already beat that down.

Rangers above .500? No chance, I'm not getting blamed for jinxing them.

Scott Kalita's death? Well, I did find irony in that no one laughed at someone dying in a funny car.

NBA draft? Not until Thursday.

Euro 2008? I've been watching, but god forbid someone not named "Sir Arthur Ballsinmouth" comment.

Tiger's leg? Big kind of beat me to it, albeit without the word "fuck"

Well, if I'm that far behind, I might as well just begin my epic return with a simple question:



Emmitt or Barry? Discuss.


p.s. I'd choose Ki-Jana Carter.

Ohh lordy

So, This was a big weekend. As Brown continues his month long road trip for work/play, I was out of town from Thursday of last week till last night. Included in the fun was visiting some friends who are about to have a baby, camping in near 100 degree heat, and floating a river for 8 hours sat with only beer, a ham sandwich, and 50 jello shots to quince my thirst(and what a good job they did).

More on all that later, I just wanted to pop on and say, I'm back bitches.

No worries, the finial part of essay will be sometime this week, as well as a look back at one hell of a sports weekend. Lets not forget either that we will have a new NBA champion this week. Its the last real good week of sports till training camp opens.

To cleans your pallet for a moment, Here is a video of team USA beating the shit out of Barbados, in soccer, World Cup Qualifying match that most of you probably didn't see Sun. All 8(!) goal can be found here, and its only a few min long.