Tony’s a free man!

Well, it hasn’t exactly been a secret.  I hate Jessica Simpson.  Hate her.  I can find a big tittied, overweight blond anywhere in Dallas. Why should this bitch be famous?

Anyway, if you didn’t see the story (and I’m not sure why), Tony pulled a move that I personally find so awesome, it brought a tear to my eye.  Allow me to show you how I believe it went…

Jessica: It’s my birthday coming up tomorrow.

Tony: Golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. Bobby Carpenter.

Jessica: I want to have a party.

Tony: Boat. Boat. Golf. Jason Witten. Guitar Hero.

Jessica: How about a Barbie and Ken party?

Tony: Go—…what?

Jessica: A Barbie and Ken Party!  I can be Barbie!!!

Tony: That’s it. I’m out.  Peace, bitch.

And…scene.

You might think that I’d be happy that Tony’s single.  I am happy that he’s lost the weight.  However, as much as I love Tony Romo, he’s a big ol’ douche. 

My fear is that now he’s going to be more focused on partying and being a douche that he’s going to be that much less focused on football…and this is supposed to be his breakout season.

Jerry’s (probably more Steven) made all the moves this off-season to make this team Tony Romo’s.  Gone went Owens.  Garrett has simplified the playbook and made it run-heavier.  Marty B has kept people entertained. (Captain Crunch!!!!)  Now it’s Tony’s turn to show that the right moves were made.

Think about it.  For all the crap Owens pulled, was he ever out of shape?  Was he ever missing practices?  Didn’t his teammates, for the most part, love him and follow him?   Can you say the same thing about Tony Romo? 

And just like that, he redeems himself...maybe

He looks almost Favre-ian

Tony Romo has been loved and hated by both of us.

We loved him for his goofy ass persona and his seemingly unending bag of jedi moves on the field. We loved the fact he was more interested in playing "Guitar Hero" then he was in being Keith Davis or Pacman Jones. He was dating one of the hottest bitches on the planet in Carrie Underwood, and just playing "fubaw".

We hated him when he dumped Carrie Underwood for Jessica Simpson (though she was hot when he did). We hated him when he decided to jet set to Cabo instead of focusing on the playoffs last year only to see Eli win a god damned Super Bowl before him. We hated him when he showed more interested in attempting to qualify for the U.S. Open than getting ready for this season. We hated him for his slow morph into retard on the field and total douchebag on the field.

And then he goes and does something like this...

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Tony Romo has joined the ranks of the chubby chasers!!!

Big and I have a soft spot in our hearts for big girls. Me, I know they try harder and nothing annoys me more than a girl who picks at a salad and claims to be full after two bites and a glass of wine. Big just enjoys the moment where he can quirk an eyebrow at her when he removes his shirt and say "come on, you know you're not doing any better than my fat bouncing off your muffin top a couple of times before I need a Gatorade and a rest".

Tony, you keep this up and you might just win our hearts back.

Ed Werder gets punked out by TO

Great game last night. Demarcus Ware is Beast. Tashard was the right "choice"(giggle). More on the boys later, but for now, here is the great sidline interview of TO, Romo and Witten after the game. Enjoy TO punking out Ed Werder and Romo makeing a joke about the whole week.

Tony Romo's finger is broken!!

HOW DID IT HAPPEN!!!

Was it from a sack?


Was it getting kicked in the finger?


Too much Guitar Hero?


No!

It was....




THE IRON KEGELS OF DOOM!!

Oh yeah, I forgot

See, with the offseason nonsense and celebrity nonsense and his retarded, large mammaried girlfriend, I forgot something.

We'd all have sex with him also if we had the chance.