Interesting tidbit before I rock to the power rankings. Out of the 16 games played last Sunday, only 4 road teams won. Crazy.
Here we go with this weeks rankings.
As always, these teams are ranked from who get first cracks on the hot chick during a gang bang.
The "So good looking its Scary" tier.
1. (-)Dallas Cowboys 3-0 - When the Schedule came out, I looked at it and said "man, if we can go 2-1 the first 3 weeks, we'll be alright." Low and behold, we're 3-0. And except the shootout in Philly, looked dominate doing it.
2. (+1) Denver Broncos 3 0 - What an offense. 1st in points, 2nd in total yards, 2nd in passing yards, 10th in rushing yards, 114 total points. Holy crap KC is going to get torched this week. The Broncos could hang 100 on them faster than a titty flopping out during a brawlesss jump rope day.
3. (+3) Tennessee Titans 3 0 - As Good as the Broncos offense is, the Titans Defense is just as nasty. 1st in points, 3rd in yards, 3 vs pass, 10 vs. rush. If you can stop the passing game, and score over 20, you should win about 90% of your games in the league. The defense is as tight as......a dish in saran wrap. (see what i did there)
The "Damn Good, and I mean Damn good" tier.
4. (-) New York Giants 3 0 - They should have lost to the Bengals, but they pulled it out. That's what good teams do I guess, but I'm still not sold on this team, and more importantly, Eli.
5. (-) Philadelphia Eagles 2 1 - Did you see what happened when Brain Westbrook went down? I know the Steelers have a nice defense, but they couldn't hardly move the ball at all when that guy was out of the game.
6. (+3) Buffalo Bills 3 0 - I know they had to pull something out of their ass this week to beat oakland, but with games at STL, and at Arizona, they should be 5-0, fresh off a bye, hosting the whales vagina in week 7.
7. (-5) Pittsburgh Steelers 2 1 - The worry from the off season was whether or not the O-line could hold up, man did they get exposed vs philly. Big Ben is dinged up and Fast Willie Parker is out for the Monday night game, looks like time to see how Mendenhall can handle the load.
8. (-1) Green Bay Packers 2 1 - If you want to be an elite team, you win tough games at home. They didn't this week. Not compiling, I'm just saying.
the "Not Quite Sold They are that Good yet" tier.
9. (+8) Washington Redskins 2 1 - good win over New Orleans, OK win over Arizona, Shitty loss to the Giants. Guess we'll find out this week what they are made of.
10. (+5) Baltimore Ravens 2 0 - I like Joe Flaco, but wins over Cinncy and Cle don't impress me much.
11. (+9) Tampa Bay Buccaneers 2 1 - You give me 68 attempts as a qb in the NFL, i might throw for 300 yards. I doubt it, but i might. If I did, well, i'm now just at good as Brain Greise.
The "much better than their records" tier.
12. (+7) San Diego Chargers 1 2 - Kinda feel bad for the Jets. The Chargers were due to put a hurtin on someone, and it happend to be New York also.
13. (+5) Minnesota Vikings 1 2 - a part of me was excited to see ol' headbutt throw that early pick. I can see childress now "Damn it! Put in..." looks over at the bench and see's Travis just sitting there ready to go in, with excitement in his eyes, "nevermind." Ahh crushed dreams are fun.
14. (-1) New Orleans Saints 1 2 - Reggie Bush is trying real hard, his team is still losing, but he is trying really, really hard!
The "i really don't know how these teams have this good a record" tier.
15. (-1) Arizona Cardinals 2 1 - Not so easy when your not playing your division or at home is it there buzzsaw.
16. (-6) Carolina Panthers 2 1 - Followed up to nice wins with 204 net yards vs the Vikings. Nice.
The "i think these guys are better than their record" tier.
17. (-6) Chicago Bears 1 2 - They should have won their last 2 games, but they didn't. Now Philly comes to town. A bounch back win here would move them back up.
18. (-4) Indianapolis Colts 1 2 - So this great offense is 20th in total yards, 31st in rushing, and 25th in points. Throw that in with being 30th in rush defense, you got problems man.
19. (+7) Jacksonville Jaguars 1 2 - Nice win at Indy showed that this team can still play. Maybe not all that well, but they can still play.
The "o.k. these guys really arn't as good as their record" tier.
20. (-12) New England Patriots 2 1 - I know that Ronnie Brown bit was a surprise, but when your suposed to be one of the great defenses in the league, and you have what is supposed to be one of the greatest coaches in the league, shouldn't someone be able to stop a guy from taking a direct snap to house 4 fucking times!!!
21. (+3) San Francisco 49ers 2 1 - Yea, they keep winning, so they keep moving up, but I'm really not sold on this team at all. If they beat N.O. this week, i'll give them some cred, but intill then, fluke.
The "shity teams" tier.
22. (-6) New York Jets 1 2 - Did we all forget that this team blew last year? I know Favre is nice and all, but as Emmit might say, He's a diamond in the doo-doo. And Mondays game was so Favre, in the bad way. Should have gotten picked like 14 times.
23. (+5) Miami Dolphins 1 2 - Nice win over New England. I thought Ronnie Brown was solid, but 4 TD's and a passing, i didn't see at all.
24. (-1) Atlanta Falcons 2 1 - Good to see that even shitty teams can beat up other even shitter teams. I like Matty Ice, and I like Michael turrner, but lets be honest, this team still blows.
25. (+1) Seattle Seahawks 1 2 - Who is J. Jones! Averaging 5.1 per carrie is nice for the former cowboy great. (Hey Seahawks, don't get used to it! He did that in Dallas his first year too.)
26. (+1) Oakland Raiders 1 2 - There were right there from winning that game. Welp, thats what shitty teams do, they lose games.
The "Oppps I crapped my pants" Tier.
27. (-5) Houston Texans 0 2 - Kinda wish I had a do over on that whole Matt Shaub is going to be great this year bit.
28. (-7) Cleveland Browns 0 3 - Ohh how the mighty have fallen. Looks like it Brady Quinn time!
29. (+2) Cincinnati Bengals 0 3 - At least they showed some life this week and almost stole one from the Defending superbowl champs.
30. (-)Detroit Lions 0 3 - This team is terrible. Just Terrible.
31. (-2) Kansas City Chiefs 0 3 - These last three teams just need to disband, and come back a few laters with a clearer head.
32. (-) St. Louis Rams 0 3 - One good note? SJax had 14 points in my fantasy league this year.
So there it is. Its thought provoking, easy to understand, pretty close to right. I know my rankings have jumpbed a but from week to week, but that's going to happen when you've only played 3 games or so.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I like to play...
I'm not really sure what's going on in the world of sports. Seriously. I even missed our 500th anniversary. Big made me sleep on the couch. I've been working non stop for about three weeks straight, but I figured I've been keeping you, our sexy readers, from the crazy ramblings of the Suntanned Superman. Sure, the big guy, Big (redundancy), runs the show, but I am the Garth to his Wayne. So, here's your drum solo while Big's playing his guitar for Cassandra.
The Dallas Cowboys
I haven't seen a Dallas Cowboy game yet because I fly on Sundays and Monday Night Football starts at like 4 pm on the West Coast. I can't say I know what's going on, but according to ESPN box scores, here's what I gather:
- My affection for Tony Romo is not unfounded.
- The dual threat of Marion Barber and Felix Jones is absolutely crazy.
- Witten is the toughest son of a bitch on the planet.
- Terrell Owens is the best receiver in the NFL, and now he's one of the best teammates
- Wade Phillips is like an old retarded grandpa that you want to hug, but are afraid that you might get your nose caught in his floppy man breast.
The Texas Longhorns
Nope, you're not pulling me offsides.
The Josh Howard "Controversy"
Well, I'm going to go ahead and say it, the Mavericks have found the crazy son of a bitch they needed. I mean it. Houston has Ron Artest. San Antonio just signed Salim Stoudamire. New Orleans has Bonzi Wells. Oklahoma City has a basketball team. (By the way, I saw a guy wearing an OKC Thunder basketball shirt at the airport on Sunday and just about spit out my coffee.)
Now, the Mavericks have a crazy, America hating, pot smoking, alien looking defensive three looking to re-establish his career! It's GENIUS! Really, I want Josh Howard to just take a shit in the middle of the AT&T Center the first San Antonio game. That, or rub his crotch in Eva Longoria's face right in front of Tony Parker. I'm sorry, I think this wild ass shit is exactly what the Mavericks need to shake things up.
The Rangers are...status quo.
But hey, Milton Bradley is saying he'll quit baseball if the Rangers or someone else doesn't offer him a long term deal. Yawn.
Ben & Skin on Live 105 and Greggo on ESPN
I was in town when Ben & Skin went on the air, and I gotta say, too much of a good thing kind of ruins it. Here's the best metaphor I can think of, Ben & Skin are Nickelback. You know, when Nickelback comes out with a new song, and when you hear it the first time you like it. Then you hear it again and you still like it. Then you realize the song is on every single station and every time you turn on the station and now you're really tired of the same old riffs and lyrics? Am I making sense here? Don't tell me I'm the only one who feels this way about Nickelback.
I heard Greggo for about 10 minutes on Friday when I was driving back from the airport. In another market, I think the guy might have a chance. He's got too many skeletons here, and I'm not sure that people are willing to listen again. That and RJ Choppy is...RJ Choppy.
"Heroes"
I like this show, nay, I daresay that I love this show. However, I don't think that it required a full one hour red carpet preview show. I also don't think that they should have touted this shit so much seeing as the writers' strike killed a whole bunch of momentum. Why do they have to turn the Brown guy into a crazy dude? Come on, it's him and and Kumar on House...that's all we've got until Big and Brown television hits the air.
I'm still a bigger "Lost" fan, and no I have never had HBO, so let's no get into a stupid argument on television shows.
Politics
I'm going to say this once, and I doubt anyone has actually gotten down this far, so I'm sure I'm gonna say it again.
THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL BLOG.
I don't give a flying fuck if you're a sister fucking conservative who thinks Obama wants to give gay men the freedom to force their penis into any man hole they find or if you're a hippy liberal who believes that the McCain is going to re-enact slavery. Don't bring that shit in here, no one cares and I'll find some way to beat you to death with a flagpole.
On a total side note, I wonder what kind of Google keywords this post might get...
Monday, September 22, 2008
College Football Roundup - Week 4, now more local!
Hey Lady, Hey Lady, Hey Lady, Drop it!So, that was a fun week no? Nothing really brings out good football like SEC play. 4 SEC teams finish in the top 10, not be out done though by the Big 12, as they have 4 as well, and they start their conference games in two weeks.
We are gong to start seeing more and more meaningful games in the coming weeks, as most teams are done playing their cupcakes. Hell even Texas Tech plays K-State this weekend!
We saw one of the better stories of the early part of season, East Carolina, go down. Thank kinda sucks. But Vandy's ranked!
I'm done rambling, so here's the list.
As always its my top ten, in two tiers, with the most impressive being at the top, and the least at the bottom, and then I give you 5 teams to think about, all done in wrestling terminology.
Main Eventers
We are gong to start seeing more and more meaningful games in the coming weeks, as most teams are done playing their cupcakes. Hell even Texas Tech plays K-State this weekend!
We saw one of the better stories of the early part of season, East Carolina, go down. Thank kinda sucks. But Vandy's ranked!
I'm done rambling, so here's the list.
As always its my top ten, in two tiers, with the most impressive being at the top, and the least at the bottom, and then I give you 5 teams to think about, all done in wrestling terminology.
Main Eventers
No. 1. USC (idel) Looking at their schedule, they should be in the National Championship game. They have Oregon, Arizona St, Cal and even Notre Dame at home this year. Only scary game might be against UCLA at the end of the year, as its a road one. But rest assured, they will fuck up somewhere, they always do.
No. 4 Florida (win 30-6, Tennessee) - We had the first jump pass of the season, which is such a cool play, i hope Tebow brings it to the NFL. Despite rocking only 243 yards of total offense, the gators are nice. Real nice. Even had a punt return for a TD. LSU in three weeks. Can't wait.
No. 2. Oklahoma (idle) - They have a game against bcs buster hope full TCU this sat. I don't expect them to have any trouble.
No. 3 Georgia (win 27-10, Arizona State) - a nice quality win in prime time vs. a good, but not great Arizona State team. The Heisman hopeful, Knowshawn Moreno, put in some good work, going off for 149 on 23 carries and 2 TD's. Hellava game vs. Alabama this week.
(note, all four of the above teams could be put in any order 1-4 and i wouldn't have a problem with it)
No. 5 Missouri (win 42-21, Buffalo) - another ho-hum day for Chase Daniel, 36 of 43, 439, and 2 TD's. Another nice showdown @ Nebraska this week. A win there will put the Tigers in the same class as the four teams above them.
Mid-Carders
No. 6 LSU (win 26-21, No. 10 Auburn) - A back and forth game where Aurbun's spread attack finally out produced its run game, 250-70. The thing is, if you would have have told me LSU would hold Auburn to 70 rushing yards, I would have bet the house on a LSU blowout. Credit is due to Auburn for staying with these guys. LSU themselves really didn't look as impressive as i thought hey might, but like I said last week, that RB Scott can play, 21 carries, 132 yards.
No. 9 Alabama (win 49-14, Arkansas) - Holy crap that was a whoppin. When your O-Line can dominate like that and allow you to run for 328 yards as a team, including opening up the holes for Glen Coffee to go 10 rushes for 162 yards, your doing well. I refuse to talk about their QB, as I have no respect for a man who insists on using two first names. I've only met a few John David's, or Billy Bob's, but they are all douches. Is it fair? No. But i don't care. 2 first names = douche.
No. 7 Texas (win 52-10, Rice) - Only watched parts of this game as I was distracted by the new graphics of FSW. Odd to anyone else that Colt McCoy is the all time TD leader in Longhorn history after that game? No Chris Simms, no Major, its Colt. The Texas D, which has been suspect for a few years, did an OK job in this game. Looking forward to seeing what they can do the Razorbacks, so i can get a feel as how good this team compared to Alabama.
No. 12 South Florida (win 17-9, Florida International) - There was a drop off from 4-5 in the Main Eventers, but there might even be a bigger drop off here. All the above team, should things go right for them, I can legitimacy see winning a National Championship. These last few team? Not so much, but I guess South Florida is the best of the next tier of teams, even with this not impressive win over a Sunbelt Squad.
No. 11 Texas Tech (win 56-14, Massachusetts) - Don't get too excited tech fans, I think Uless Trinity could hold UMass to 14. BUT the next 3 are K-State, Neb, and Texas A&M, all games they should win. IF they win all those games, and are 7-0 during the middle of October, they will be a top 5 team, because someone has to lose when Bama plays Georgia, Texas play OU, and when LSU plays Florida. That's three teams in front of them with losses. Chilling thought.
Developmental Guys. (guys to keep your eyes on, not necessarily the next 5 best teams.)
BCS Buster Time! - Here are the top couple non BCS teams that could make a splash at the end of the year.
No. 14 Brigham Young (win 44-0, Wyoming) - BYU averaged 4.8 yards per rush, and 5.4 yards per pass. Nice.
No. 20 Utah (win 30-23, Air Force) - Game shouldn't have been as close as it was. The Utes out gained the service academy 440-191 in total yards.
Boise State (win 37-32, No. 17 Oregon) - The win over Oregon gives this team some legitimacy. Might want to play some Defense though.
TCU (win 48-7, Southern Methodist) - Both Boise and TCU are now ranked this morning, and TCU, who has been the bcs buster's darling in previous seasons, till they blow it vs UNLV or some other silly school, just blew away June Jones and the Ponies. I find it funny that your mascot can be the Mustang, and you run for -8 yards for the whole game. But to be fair, you might want to run the ball more than 12 times. But that's June Jones, and he'll work out well for the Ponys in the end.
Those are the BCS buster teams as of right now, and I'm thinking these teams are all pretty good, so one of them should make it unscathed right?
No. 16 Penn State (win 45-3, Temple) - Last team I wanted to talk about. They put up 546 yards of total offense, including over 300 rushing. I know its just Temple, but when you score 31 points in a quarter(!), that's pretty damn impressive. Now I know they haven't really played anybody yet, but haven't just put directional D2 school on their docket either, look at the points scored in the first 4 games from PSU, 66, 45, 55, 45. That's nice. Of course they play the Illini this weekend, and since they are in my "watch out" section, they will lose. Look at ASU, Oregon, and Kansas. All were featured, all have since lost.
The Big Ups to All my Haters award for upset of the week goes to No. 18 Wake Forest beating No. 24 Florida State 12-3. But Big, Wake Forest was ranked ahead of Florida State, that's not an upset. Just stop. All week long I heard from college football people saying "wake can't hang with the big boys, yea they are undefeated, but its a hollow undefeated. They will lose to FSU." There you go Wake, go tell all your critics to shove a pound of weed up their ass. Don't care how you win, just win. That should be Wake's mantra.
We already talked about TCU-SMU so I'll just move on to my beloved Mean Green. We didn't lose this week! True we were on bye, but fuck it, its a small victory, and I'm talking it!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
500 posts
Yea, the last post was post 500, (i think) so i'm going to celebrate the only way i know how, random youtube videos. Enjoy.
and lastly, if you havn't seen this, i might have pee'd a little when i did its so damn funny. Wait for the stinger at the end!
and lastly, if you havn't seen this, i might have pee'd a little when i did its so damn funny. Wait for the stinger at the end!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
power is in the eye.....week 2
Fuck it we still won!As i did last year, I'm going to be bringing you the freshest, most original look around the NFL, a power ranking!
I know your life wouldn't be complete unless you knew for sure whether or not i thought the Cardinals are better than the Lions, so I bring you this, Big's NFL power rankings.
(i know its lame, but if I do anything well, its lame shit)(oh and I included how they have changed from last week next to their number. look at me doing more work that i have too!)
As always this list is in order of team most likely to no give a rats ass about your fantasy football team(I'm 1-1 in both leagues).
The "I'm just like you, I put my pants on one leg at a time, only when my pants are on, I make gold records" tier.
1 (-)Dallas Cowboys 2 0 - Holy crap what a game. Those might be the best 2 teams in football right now. Add the fact the eagles always give the boys problems, and a win is nice.
2. (-)Pittsburgh Steelers 2 0 - Ugly game vs. Cle, but this team gets the Eric Nies award this week for just grinding it out. (honestly if you get that reference let me know.)
3. (+1)Denver Broncos 2 0 - You know what makes me move up this team even though they should have lost(stupid, STUPID refs) is the fact they went for the win in regulation. WAY TO HAVE SOME BALL SHANNY!
4. (+2)New York Giants 2 0 - I was predicting failure on this team year. Looks like i might be wrong for the first time ever in my life.
The "Damn the looked good losing" tier.
5. (-2)Philadelphia Eagles 1 1 - Had to drop them a bit due to losing, but this years NFC East is going be crazy. Like SuperCrazy.
The "Better than I thought they would be" tier
6. (+11)Tennessee Titans 2 0 - So I knew this team had a good D, but they might be scary good. Like your new girlfriend is a little too good at sex, good.
7. (+7)Green Bay Packers 2 0 - I love seeing Aaron Rodgers make this happen. Got a little scared when they let DET back in the game. But they look legit. Now they play Dallas, and we'll know right soon how good they are.
8. (-1)New England Patriots 2 0 - When your the number one team, and your best player goes down, you have got to expect a drop off, but right now this defense is carrying this team.
The "Really didn't think they would be this good, but don't expect them to stay That way" tier
9. (+2)Buffalo Bills 2 0 - Browns new pick to win the super bowl. Can't agree more.
10. (+6)Carolina Panthers 2 0 - Just think, now they get Steve Smith back.
11. (-2)Chicago Bears 1 1 - Lost to Carolina. I blame Shila LaBouf. Don't now why. But he's the downfall of the Bears.
The "come on now, your better than that" tier.
12. (-)Indianapolis Colts 1 1 - t minus 3 weeks till Peyton goes ape shit and names himself starting running back, wide receiver, and punt returner. he's all they got anyway, so why not.
13. (-5)New Orleans Saints 1 1 - Washington? They practically gave you that game. Way to go reggie with that whole "waiving" thing. Well done.
The "Can't tell if they are good or not yet" tier.
14. (+6)Arizona Cardinals 2 0 - Jesus Robo Arm is back and in full effect baby! But in the end they have only beaten San Fran and Seattle.
15. (+7)Baltimore Ravens 1 0 - Moved up seven due to not playing anybody, and when you don't play you can't look bad!
16. (-6)New York Jets 1 1 - The whole Favre thing has warn off on me now, and that play calling was TERRIBLE!
17. (+6)Washington Redskins 1 1 - i knew they weren't as bad as they showed on opening day. Would have had them in front a couple other teams, but I saw Chris Cooley's dick this week. That should never happen.
The "Better turn this shit around, or this could get ugly" tier.
18. (-3)Minnesota Vikings 0 2 - If they stick with Travis, and they miss the playoffs, its all on Brad Childress. Stubborn is a sin.
19. (-14)San Diego Chargers 0 2 - I never thought the HGH using wwe freak Shawn Merrimen was that important to the Chargers. And don't give me that they should have won but the ref screwed them. Yea, its true, they got the call wrong and the game would have been over had it gone right, but when you can't stop the pass AT ALL, you deserve to lose. Throw in the 2 pt play and Norv can go fuck himself.
The "teams that could pull a win out their ass every now and then, but don't expect them to contend" tier.
20. (-2)Tampa Bay Buccaneers 1 1 - Ernest "Teddy" Graham(if that's not his nickname, we really need to look at ourselves as humans) you totally fucked me in fantasy this week. If you would have just played like you usually do, which is suck, i would be 2-0. For that, down 2 spots for your team.
21. (-2)Cleveland Browns 0 2 - Played a much closer, if not better, game vs. Pitt. Calling Braylend Edwards! Hello! Anybody seen mr. Edwards?
22. (+3)Houston Texans 0 1 - Again moved up because they didn't play, and thus didn't fuck up this week.
23. (-2)Atlanta Falcons 1 1 - That's more like the Falcons we have come to expect.
24. (+5)San Francisco 49ers 1 1 - I had to give them some love, after proving me right that the Seahawks suck mighty joe young balls.
The "Holy Crap! Are they really as bad as they look(yes)" tier.
25. (-12)Jacksonville Jaguars 0 2 - Last year, 2nd in rushing, this year, 28th.
26. (-2)Seattle Seahawks 0 2 - And you Seattle Seahawks, ahh fuck it, your too easy.
and the "opps I crapped my pants" tier.
27. (+5)Oakland Raiders 1 1 - Would have moved them out of this tier, but Its being rumored that Al "The N-Hatten Dolphin" Davis is about to fire a promising young head coach cuz he said his team sucks. You know what Al, your team does suck.
28. (-2)Miami Dolphins 0 2 - lost by 3 touchdowns to the Buzzsaw.
29. (-1)Kansas City Chiefs 0 2 - lost by nearly 3 TD's to the Raiders!
30. (+1)Detroit Lions 0 2 - The nice comeback moved them up from last, but then they pissed it all away at the track like my uncle steve.
31. (-4)Cincinnati Bengals 0 2 - Said I was going to put them last if they didn't show me anything, and they didn't show me anything, but.....
32. (-2)St. Louis Rams 0 2 - This team BLOWS!!!!
As always, I know I'm right and your wrong, and that's just the way its going be. Smells like updog in here.........
Josh Howard hates america.
You've got to be kidding me. This guys really just needs to slow down a bit and keep his head low. Our favorite weed toting Dallas Maverick, Josh Howard, played in a flag football game this last July with fellow NBA star Allen Iverson. He thought a fan video was a good time to spout his political views, during the national anthem! What a retard.
Hit about 1:45 to see his dumb ass.
Hit about 1:45 to see his dumb ass.
Monday, September 15, 2008
College Football Round up - Week 3
Next Year? The College football round up is back, ready to recap week 3. So this week was the start of the big games for college football fans huh? The Showdown in the Coliseum was anything but a showdown. We had a baseball score, and the UNT game got to be played at LSU after all. Nice.
So here we go, again the teams are voted on who can win the BCS championship, and who is right there, presented in order of most impressive, in terms of Wrestling terms(what?).
Main Eventers
No. 1 USC (win 35-3 No. 5 Ohio State) - The TV people almost had me convinced OSU could hang with USC's speed. Man am I gullible. And tell me this OSU peeps, freshmen phenom Pryor went 7-9 52 yards passing and had 40 yards on 11 carries and you still want to roll with Boeckman? Let the kid play the rest of the year, show some crazy flash and maybe you can get some good recruits for next year. I know this is USC's post, but I wanted to make it clear that OSU will not, unless every other team loses 3 times, be in my top rankings for the rest of the year. They should have NO chance at all in getting back to the BCS game.
No. 3 Oklahoma (win 55-14, Washington) - Felt bad for Washington, had to take the brunt of Oklahoma's fury due to last years Oregon fuck up. Bradford, 18-21, 304, 5 TD's. He's in the Heisman hunt.
No. 2 Georgia (win 14-7 , South Carolina) - I hope, hope this was Georgia's worst showing of the season. If they play like they did this week against some better SEC teams, they are going down. Knowshawn needs more than 20 touches, but the D played fantastic.
No. 4. Florida (idle) - Tenn this week should be a good test for the Gators.
No. 6 Missouri (win 69-17, Nevada) - I'm ready to believe that this team can get to the BCS championship game. Chase Daniel was money again, 23-28 405 and 4 TD's. Mizzou has put up at least 52 in all three of their games thus far, and they got one more cup cake in buffalo this week, then the fun starts with a trip to Lincoln to play the Huskers.
Mid Carders
No. 7 LSU (win 41-3, North Texas) - Might be the only time UNT gets a mention in the regular polls. Charles Scott, a running back for LSU, had 102 yards and 2 td's, on 7 carries.
No. 8. Texas (idle) Were going to take on the Razerbacks, but good ole Ike scared a bunch of people away. It was the right call, but for the record, I talked to some guys in Austin around 3 or 4 Saturday, wasn't even raining down there.
No. 9 Auburn (win 3-2, Mississippi State) - Nope, didn't get the score wrong, it was 3-2. In my season long quest in following the "new" Auburn spread offense attack, this week, 154 yards passing, 161 yards rushing. Is anybody else not that scared of SEC teams this year? Don't get me wrong, there are 5 or 6 really good teams, but i have yet to see a great team out side of maybe Florida. Georgia hasn't had a "good god" game yet, Auburn only scored 3 points this week, and LSU hasn't even come close to playing anybody. Could be their competition is pretty good too, but come on.
No. 11 Alabama (win 41-7, Western Kentucky) - All that said about the SEC above and I still think Alabama has the 9th best shot at the BSC right now. They got some good talent, a playmaker in Freshmen Julio Jones, and a D that seams to not let people run on them at all. Can't wait for SEC conference play.
No. 19 South Florida (win 37-34, No. 13 Kansas) - A top 20 team that beats another top 20 teams should be on the list. The bulls came back from down 20-3, and kicked a FG to win it with 0:00's on the clock. Matt Grothe was 32-45 for 338 yards in the win.
Teams I wanted to put in, but were just out, Wisc. Texas Tech, Penn St.
Developmental Guys.(guys to keep your eyes on, not necessarily the next 5 best teams.)
No. 14 East Carolina (win 28-24, Tulane) - Calling this the BCS buster race, as ECU, and the next team BYU will duke it out all season to try and stay undefeated and get that bid in the big bowl game.
No. 18 Brigham Young (win 59-0, UCLA) - Whats a good way to get voters to forget you needed a miracle to win last week vs an average Washington? How about hanging 59 on a team that just upset a top 10 team. Yea, that will work.
No. 16 Oregon (win 32-26, Purdue) - Look out for the Ducks. They were supposed to have a down year with no Dennis Dixon and no John Stewart, but don't tell this teams Defense. Despite the 2 picks from sophomore QB Justin Roper, the Defense scored 3 turnovers, and returned a punt 87 yards for a score. They might be the best chance at keep USC out of the title game, but don't hold your breath.
Vanderbilt (win 38-21, Rice) - I know its only Rice, but Vandys 3-0! I'm not saying this team will compete for the SEC title or anything, but watch this team steal a win from one of the big boys. Its gonna happen.
No. 24 Illinois (win 20-17, Louisiana-Lafayette) - I know a 3 point win over a non LSU Louisiana school isn't much to be proud of, but Illinois has only one loss, and its to Mizzou. Pluss I would feel un american not to talk about at least one big ten team.
So that's the list this week. In some interesting notes, I wanted to include Notre Dame's win over Mich in the developmental category, but even as a ND fan, i know this team sucks.
I find it interesting that in my top 10 I have 5 SEC, 3 Big 12, 1 Pac 10, and 1 Big East. Just something to think about.
The Big Ups the all my Haters upset of the week is UNLV 23-20 win over No. 15 Arizona State. So much for me telling you to watch out for Arizona St.
The Mean Green of North Texas played LSU as previously stated, and got destroyed, as they should have. Good things from the game? At one point it was 10-3 in the 2nd quarter, and Vizza didn't throw a pic this game. Other than that, I don't know. Wunderkind Riley Dodge threw a pass, it was completed, to an LSU player. There ya go.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Oh yeah, I forgot
See, with the offseason nonsense and celebrity nonsense and his retarded, large mammaried girlfriend, I forgot something.
We'd all have sex with him also if we had the chance.
Big's Caption Contest
So since brown is out of town, and only posting a few times, I saw this pic and thought it would be perfect for his "beat my caption" contest, where the winner gets nothing.
Its cool, he's got an ulcer!
Remembering
I was still in college, woke up around 9:30, took a shower. Dressed, grabbed my bag and walked out of my room. In the living area were 2 of my 3 roommates, sitting on the couch, watching TV. I don't like to talk much in the morning so I'm sure some kind of "whats up" was said by me, but they just kept watching. I grabbed a pop tart, strawberry i believe, and turn to walk out the door. One of the roommates said, "school's cancelled." It was at that time I saw the TV. and didn't leave from in front of it for about 4 hours. In an need to escape, i walked around our apartment complex for a while after that. I'll never forget that day.
We don't talk politics on this site. But something as big as this day, 7 years ago, should never be forgoten. It has shaped all of our lives over the past 7 years, and for the rest of it, not just the people lost, but to everyone, because we all lost something.
We don't talk politics on this site. But something as big as this day, 7 years ago, should never be forgoten. It has shaped all of our lives over the past 7 years, and for the rest of it, not just the people lost, but to everyone, because we all lost something.
Coming up next, your local news....except on the west coast.
Few random thoughts while I've been on the road this week...
-I'm tired of hearing about hurricanes. The drink, Miami U, Ike, Katrina, Shane Helms. I'm tired of them all. That being said, if I get home and find a tree lodged in my roof, I'm gonna kill someone.
-Saw "I Now Prounounce You Chuck and Larry" on HBO last night while working in the hotel room. Maybe it's because I'm in Northern California, but that was a pretty funny movie. I was especially appreciative of a close to nude Jessica Biel, yet extremely pissed that Sandler got to feel that up. Kevin James? Funny.
-I hate first week snap judgements on the NFL.
-The Bills are going to the Super Bowl.
-Vince Young can murder, piss on AND THEN rape a dog's corpse and still be a hero to Texas fans. Quit asking me how I feel about him bordering on crazy.
-Why is Warren Sapp still relevant?
-Why isn't Chris Collinsworth given the credit he deserves as the best analyst in all of football. I want that guy to analyze how I make and eat oatmeal in the morning. I'm pretty sure I'll have a better raisin to oat ratio because of it. Yes, I eat oatmeal in the morning. It keeps me regular.
-Hampton Inn. Formerly frowned upon by Brown. Now? His business hotel of choice right behind Hilton Garden Inn.
-I find the Dr. Lou segments on ESPN to be mildly amusing. Right below watching a fat chick do crunches and right above watching a fat chick
-Apparently I happen to randomly observe fat women a lot.
-The Dodge Avenger might sound like a cool car, however, it's a fucking Dodge and you are reminded of that every time you hear the extra crank just to start the engine.
-Sports Radio outside of Dallas, TX is an abomination on the ears.
-Mike Nolan sounds like he might be 80 years old.
-Berkley makes Texas look like Liberty University on the liberal students on campus scale.
-I also managed to catch the VMA's this year. Not only do I feel old and out of touch with what the hell is going on in the world of today's youth, but I'd like to form a personal crusade to remove the following people from ever being mentioned again: The Jonas Brothers, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Fall Out Boy, MTV, anyone on the Hills or shows like it, fuck it just anyone who still cares about MTV.
-I did, though, enjoy Kanye West's performance of "Love Locked Down". Understated, yet a reminder that he might be the best in the game right now.
-The Tampa Bay
-If the Diamondbacks are sliding with the pitching they have, then I'm not sure there is ever gonna be hope for the Rangers.
I'm out.
Not everybody is a "winner" anymore
I don't know if you guys have been following this whole Vince Young drama. Lets get you caught up to speed if you haven't.
After a subpar year last year(Madden Jinx!), Young briefly thought about retirement during the off season.
Last week, opening week, Young gets boo'ed after his second INT, and then when the Titian's get the ball back, he doesn't leave the bench to go to the huddle. Coach Fisher called a TO, and goes over to Young, who is "complaining" about soreness in his hamstring. After some goading, he go back in. Gets hurt on the next drive for real.
Young is out 2-6 weeks with a MCL sprain. The team is worried about Young's state of mind, sends a shrink over, report is that the shrink is worried about Young state of well being.
Young then speeds off in his Beamer, leaves his cell phone behind and can't be reached for four hours, team gets worried, calls Fisher, who alerts the police.
Comes out that Young was at his friends place "playing video games and eating chicken wings." Or so says Young's friend.
Yesterday Young's mother made a statement with the press, worried about her son, calling him lonely and sad.
At first I thought this kinda funny. A guy making 25 mill in signing bonus over the next 4 years is sad because he's getting booed. I also wanted, if for no other reason than to stick it in the side of Brown, this to be another UT athlete who has gone off the deep end. Then I got to thinking.
Is this a result of the "everybody wins" mentality that is sweeping our nation over the past 10 years or so? Think about it. Now a days we don't keep score in young kids sporting events. We make sure everybody plays the same amount of time on the court/field/rink. If not, its because the coach has something against the kids, not the fact that your kid sucks at sports.
This is something that has been a torn in my side for awhile now. People have called it the wussifacation of America, with everybody being treated the same, and its nobodies fault win people lose, because nobody does lose.
Do you know what happens when somebody tells you aren't good enough to play? Two things. Either you pout and quit, or you sack up and prove that guy wrong.
You ever think Vince Young, or Matt Leinart were ever told they weren't good enough before they got to the NFL? You think somebody ever said "you know we won last week Matt, but you threw 3 INT's so maybe you should put down that bottle of Jager and hit the films."
No, they probably didn't. And you know why? Because if they did he would pout and get defensive saying who is this guy, I'm Matt Fucking Leinart.
I've completely forgot what I was talking about. So let me just end with this;
We are going to see more and more of the Vince Young, Matt Leinart's of the world as the NFL goes on. Kidds who have been promised the world, when all the have to do is be the best QB/Pitcher/Goalie in the world, when the fact is, they might not be able to do that.
After a subpar year last year(Madden Jinx!), Young briefly thought about retirement during the off season.
Last week, opening week, Young gets boo'ed after his second INT, and then when the Titian's get the ball back, he doesn't leave the bench to go to the huddle. Coach Fisher called a TO, and goes over to Young, who is "complaining" about soreness in his hamstring. After some goading, he go back in. Gets hurt on the next drive for real.
Young is out 2-6 weeks with a MCL sprain. The team is worried about Young's state of mind, sends a shrink over, report is that the shrink is worried about Young state of well being.
Young then speeds off in his Beamer, leaves his cell phone behind and can't be reached for four hours, team gets worried, calls Fisher, who alerts the police.
Comes out that Young was at his friends place "playing video games and eating chicken wings." Or so says Young's friend.
Yesterday Young's mother made a statement with the press, worried about her son, calling him lonely and sad.
At first I thought this kinda funny. A guy making 25 mill in signing bonus over the next 4 years is sad because he's getting booed. I also wanted, if for no other reason than to stick it in the side of Brown, this to be another UT athlete who has gone off the deep end. Then I got to thinking.
Is this a result of the "everybody wins" mentality that is sweeping our nation over the past 10 years or so? Think about it. Now a days we don't keep score in young kids sporting events. We make sure everybody plays the same amount of time on the court/field/rink. If not, its because the coach has something against the kids, not the fact that your kid sucks at sports.
This is something that has been a torn in my side for awhile now. People have called it the wussifacation of America, with everybody being treated the same, and its nobodies fault win people lose, because nobody does lose.
Do you know what happens when somebody tells you aren't good enough to play? Two things. Either you pout and quit, or you sack up and prove that guy wrong.
You ever think Vince Young, or Matt Leinart were ever told they weren't good enough before they got to the NFL? You think somebody ever said "you know we won last week Matt, but you threw 3 INT's so maybe you should put down that bottle of Jager and hit the films."
No, they probably didn't. And you know why? Because if they did he would pout and get defensive saying who is this guy, I'm Matt Fucking Leinart.
I've completely forgot what I was talking about. So let me just end with this;
We are going to see more and more of the Vince Young, Matt Leinart's of the world as the NFL goes on. Kidds who have been promised the world, when all the have to do is be the best QB/Pitcher/Goalie in the world, when the fact is, they might not be able to do that.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Nude Music Friday - Music Video's and the VMA's
The other night, after a long day of football and a wrestling PPV (which was awesome), me and the bear sat down and to take in a little Video Music Awards. This used to be one of the more enjoyable things that MTV did, as they rewarded good music put to good short film, and since MTV doesn't play videos anymore, I thought this would be a great time to see some of the better ones of the year, and they always have some good/crazy performances during it as well, so I rolled tape.
We started the 2 hour show about 10:15 or so and were done with it by 11:00. I'm not going to bore you with a break down of what happened, but here is a few high/lowlights.
The staged it at a movie back lot. Maybe 400 people there. I remember when this thing could sell out MSG. Ohh well.
The host was some dude i never heard of, from Britain, and he sucked. He made fun of his penis, republicans, and the Jonas brothers and their opal rings.
The winner for best new artist was some band I've never heard of, and I work for a pop radio station on the weekends! Tokyo Hotel? I got nothing.
Britney Spears won everything she could for "Pieces of me," an all right video, but they gave it to her because she's Britney. Whores.
They didn't show videos at all. This really bothered me. Even when they were introducing the nominees each video maybe got 3 seconds. Its the Video Music Awards. VIDEO!
Since I'm sure none of you have seen any of the videos, much like myself, Below I have posted a few from the more "legit" categories that they didn't even broadcast on the show. Imagine if they gave out the best Director Oscar before the show hit the air. Good call MTV.
Winner for Best Choreography and Best Art Direction
Gnarls Barkley - Run
A great video from a great band. Even has a Justin Timberlake sighting.
Winner for Best FX
Kanye West - Goodlife
I don't think they could have given it to anybody but this video. The graffiti cartoon fits the video so well.
Winner for Best Editing
Death Cab For Cutie - I will Posses your Heart
These guys are old school. Tell a story that has nothing to do with the band, but fits the song, and just have cuts to the band playing in some random place. Good stuff. BTW the singing starts at 4:45
Winner for Best Cinematography
White Stripes - Conquest
Video that fits the song perfectly. On a side note, I didn't know the chick from the White Stripes had a sex tape. Not that bad my friend.
Closeing the show was Kanye West preforming a brand new song, "Love Locked Down."
Now I love Kanye West, so I might be jaded, but this track it sick.
We started the 2 hour show about 10:15 or so and were done with it by 11:00. I'm not going to bore you with a break down of what happened, but here is a few high/lowlights.
The staged it at a movie back lot. Maybe 400 people there. I remember when this thing could sell out MSG. Ohh well.
The host was some dude i never heard of, from Britain, and he sucked. He made fun of his penis, republicans, and the Jonas brothers and their opal rings.
The winner for best new artist was some band I've never heard of, and I work for a pop radio station on the weekends! Tokyo Hotel? I got nothing.
Britney Spears won everything she could for "Pieces of me," an all right video, but they gave it to her because she's Britney. Whores.
They didn't show videos at all. This really bothered me. Even when they were introducing the nominees each video maybe got 3 seconds. Its the Video Music Awards. VIDEO!
Since I'm sure none of you have seen any of the videos, much like myself, Below I have posted a few from the more "legit" categories that they didn't even broadcast on the show. Imagine if they gave out the best Director Oscar before the show hit the air. Good call MTV.
Winner for Best Choreography and Best Art Direction
Gnarls Barkley - Run
A great video from a great band. Even has a Justin Timberlake sighting.
Winner for Best FX
Kanye West - Goodlife
I don't think they could have given it to anybody but this video. The graffiti cartoon fits the video so well.
Winner for Best Editing
Death Cab For Cutie - I will Posses your Heart
These guys are old school. Tell a story that has nothing to do with the band, but fits the song, and just have cuts to the band playing in some random place. Good stuff. BTW the singing starts at 4:45
Winner for Best Cinematography
White Stripes - Conquest
Video that fits the song perfectly. On a side note, I didn't know the chick from the White Stripes had a sex tape. Not that bad my friend.
Closeing the show was Kanye West preforming a brand new song, "Love Locked Down."
Now I love Kanye West, so I might be jaded, but this track it sick.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Power is the eye of.....week 1
As i did last year, I'm going to be bringing you the freshest, most original look around the NFL, a power ranking!
I know your life wouldn't be complete unless you knew for sure whether or not i thought the Cardinals are better than the Lions, so I bring you this, Big's NFL power rankings.
(i know its lame, but if I do anything well, its lame shit)
Top Dogs, gonna eat yo face and spit out your bones tier
1. Dallas Cowboys 1-0 - Of the 4 teams that looked truly bad ass this weekend, Dallas was the only one playing a good team from last year. For that, they get the number spot.
2. Pittsburgh Steelers 1-0 - They have a HELLUVA schedule, but if they play that well every week, this team could be tops in the AFC.
3. Philadelphia Eagles 1-0 - As a Cowboys fan I was really, REALLY hoping McNugget was done, looks like I was like that time in Mexico City where I picked up a really hot "female" hooker, and that's wrong.
4. Denver Broncos 1-0 - So who would have thought the kid from Vandy would be the smarter QB than the guys from USC and Texas? Hmmmm.
The Maybe I Should have played my starters a little more in the Pre Season tier.
5. San Diego Chargers 0-1 - You put together Norv Turner + Playing Rust+ people coming off injury = Loss.
The We are supposed to be good, but we looked kinda bad, but we still won tier.
6. New York Giants 1-0 - Team looked real good at first, then most of their drives started stalling out at the end of the game. Kinda like my sex life.
7. New England Patriots 1-0 - My roommate called the Brady injury before it happened. He's also predicting that Steve DeBerg will come out of retirement to lead the Pats to a superbowl. He's a mexican. (roommate, not DeBerg)
8. New Orleans Saints 1-0 - So they didn't look bad, per say, but I expected more from a city who father sea hates right now. If nothing else to tell that aquaman mother fucker to shove his trident up his ass.
The "I'm good a swear, look i got win" tier.
9. Chicago Bears 1-0 - Get ready for lots of 16-13 games, as they seam to be ready to play good D, run the shit out of the ball, and then pray they don't have to use NeckBeard at all.
10. New York Jets 1-0 - J E T S JETS JETS FAVRE!
11. Buffalo Bills 1-0 - Sowhen if the Bills move to Toronto, can they change their name to the Lone Rangers? That's funny. Toronto and the Lone Rangers!
The "uhh you guys lost?" tier
12. Indianapolis Colts 0-1 So Eli lead his team to win on opening night, while Peyton played Sunday night and lost to the bears. What is this, Bizzaro World?
13. Jacksonville Jaguars 0-1 To all you people who said "David Garrard is the most consistent passer in the game." Suck it.
The "If we played this game 10 times, it would be 5-5" tier.
14. Green Bay Packers 1-0 The same week that Carl Badlander told me to listen to a new Alter Bridge song, who are the same people from Creed minus Scott Stapp, is the same week Aaron Rodgers gets his first win as Packer QB. coincidence? I think not.
15. Minnesota Vikings 0-1 - Did I forget just how terrible Travis Jackson is when I picked Minn to win the div? I guess I did. He is terrible. If Chris Simms were on this team, that's at least 4 more wins.
The "look we got a win, we're still relevant for another week" tier.
16. Carolina Panthers 1-0 - Pulled on out their back side. Think people wear "Jesus is my DelHOME boy" shirts in Carolina?
17. Tennessee Titans 1-0 - So the story from this game is that Jeff Fisher, Titians coach, had to coax Vince Young to go back in the game, because his feelings were hurt, because the fans were booing him, because he was sucking. Lets see, Rickey Williams, Cedric Benson, Vince Young, what do all these guys have in common? (brows going to kick my ass)
The "get used to this the rest of the year" tier
18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 0-1 - Did they play bad? No, but they didn't play all that well either. Get used to it.
19. Cleveland Browns 0-1 - Are they as bad as the looked vs. a good Dallas team? No, but they play what I like to call the GonnaSiphaHerpleAids schedule. So, Get used to it.
20. Arizona Cardinals 1-0 - When you are an average team, but you play in a div with STL, SF, and Seattle, your going to get some wins despite your average talent. So, Get used to it.
The "Maybe a Rookie QB aint such a bad thing" tier.
21. Atlanta Falcons 1-0 - I don't think anyone will remember this that didn't go to Bonham Middle School in Temple Texas, but we had this speaker one day, his name was Tony Syyks, and he was a cop. But not just a cop, A rapping cop from the "hood." His songs were such greatness as "I'm a homeboy who became a cop" and "why fight when you can dance." I really wish I was making this up. Anyway, during one of his "songs" he said the line "I'm Toney Syyks, syyks, Syyks" and traild off syyks like it was an echo. Back around to the Falcons, everytime I hear Matt Ryans' name, I think of Ryan standing there going "I'm Matty Ice, Ice, Ice" just like the homeboy who became a cop. Don't know why, but it makes me giggle.
22. Baltimore Ravens 1-0 How bad do you feel for Troy Smith? He was the golden boy at OSU till he blew ass in that championship game vs Florida, and then he fell to the third round, and as soon as he gets his shot at starting, he goes down due to injury. No worries right, the guy who is starting till he gets healthy is a rookie, so they we most deff welcome him back and at least give him shot when he's right with ball, right? Well, Joe Flacco may never sit on the bench this year. Sorry for ya, Troy.
the "bitch, you better get better or I'm going to look like a dumb ass" tier.
23. Washington Redskins 0-1 Jason Campbell, 7 years post high school, 6 different Offensive Coordinators. Is this another way the man is trying to keep the brotha down?
24. Seattle Seahawks 0-1 - Ohh wayyy we had to take our carter jet, with leather seats, personal chief, and striper pole in the back all the way to New York. How can you expect us to play across 3 time zones? Pussys.
25. Houston Texans 0-1 - They did a whole big thing on Mario Williams during one of the pre game shows, and how he'll be the difference against a porous Pitt o-line. Yea, not so much.
26. Miami Dolphins 0-1 - I will say this, they looked much, much better than they did last year, but they don't have any big talent over there. And can they please stop with the baseball/football stadiums? I used to think this was cool, but now it just bothers me. Ohh and your check for letting Favre win on opening day should be in the mail from CBS any day now.
27. Cincinnati Bengals 0-1 - I'm giving this team one more week, but if they play like they did this week, hello last place. This team looked putrid. Like vomit after a night of sushi and guennis beer.
the "i just crapped my pants" tier.
28. Kansas City Chiefs 0-1 - You knocked out Tom Brady, held the Pats to 17, and still lost. That's like getting a girl drunk after a nice dinner, and having her pass out on you while she's starting to felace you.
29. San Francisco 49ers 0-1 - Frank Gore and your crazy knees, Patches O'Hoolahan and your crazy arm, Patrick Willis and your crazy tackling. You guys are cute. Shitty, But Cute.
30. St. Louis Rams 0-1 - So you have one of the best RB's in the league and you give it to him like twice. That's some sound ass thinking. That's like have 3 testicles and then removing one because your too bad ass.
31. Detroit Lions 0-1 Lost. To. Atlanta.
32. Oakland Raiders 0-1 - Do they have promise? Yes, Will they win a game this year? Maybe. Is Al Davis just waiting on the new HeMan movie so he can play the antagonist? God I hope so.
So there's week one. Hope you have fun reading it. If not, all complaints can be sent to tom1310@prodigy.net.
I know your life wouldn't be complete unless you knew for sure whether or not i thought the Cardinals are better than the Lions, so I bring you this, Big's NFL power rankings.
(i know its lame, but if I do anything well, its lame shit)
Top Dogs, gonna eat yo face and spit out your bones tier
1. Dallas Cowboys 1-0 - Of the 4 teams that looked truly bad ass this weekend, Dallas was the only one playing a good team from last year. For that, they get the number spot.
2. Pittsburgh Steelers 1-0 - They have a HELLUVA schedule, but if they play that well every week, this team could be tops in the AFC.
3. Philadelphia Eagles 1-0 - As a Cowboys fan I was really, REALLY hoping McNugget was done, looks like I was like that time in Mexico City where I picked up a really hot "female" hooker, and that's wrong.
4. Denver Broncos 1-0 - So who would have thought the kid from Vandy would be the smarter QB than the guys from USC and Texas? Hmmmm.
The Maybe I Should have played my starters a little more in the Pre Season tier.
5. San Diego Chargers 0-1 - You put together Norv Turner + Playing Rust+ people coming off injury = Loss.
The We are supposed to be good, but we looked kinda bad, but we still won tier.
6. New York Giants 1-0 - Team looked real good at first, then most of their drives started stalling out at the end of the game. Kinda like my sex life.
7. New England Patriots 1-0 - My roommate called the Brady injury before it happened. He's also predicting that Steve DeBerg will come out of retirement to lead the Pats to a superbowl. He's a mexican. (roommate, not DeBerg)
8. New Orleans Saints 1-0 - So they didn't look bad, per say, but I expected more from a city who father sea hates right now. If nothing else to tell that aquaman mother fucker to shove his trident up his ass.
The "I'm good a swear, look i got win" tier.
9. Chicago Bears 1-0 - Get ready for lots of 16-13 games, as they seam to be ready to play good D, run the shit out of the ball, and then pray they don't have to use NeckBeard at all.
10. New York Jets 1-0 - J E T S JETS JETS FAVRE!
11. Buffalo Bills 1-0 - So
The "uhh you guys lost?" tier
12. Indianapolis Colts 0-1 So Eli lead his team to win on opening night, while Peyton played Sunday night and lost to the bears. What is this, Bizzaro World?
13. Jacksonville Jaguars 0-1 To all you people who said "David Garrard is the most consistent passer in the game." Suck it.
The "If we played this game 10 times, it would be 5-5" tier.
14. Green Bay Packers 1-0 The same week that Carl Badlander told me to listen to a new Alter Bridge song, who are the same people from Creed minus Scott Stapp, is the same week Aaron Rodgers gets his first win as Packer QB. coincidence? I think not.
15. Minnesota Vikings 0-1 - Did I forget just how terrible Travis Jackson is when I picked Minn to win the div? I guess I did. He is terrible. If Chris Simms were on this team, that's at least 4 more wins.
The "look we got a win, we're still relevant for another week" tier.
16. Carolina Panthers 1-0 - Pulled on out their back side. Think people wear "Jesus is my DelHOME boy" shirts in Carolina?
17. Tennessee Titans 1-0 - So the story from this game is that Jeff Fisher, Titians coach, had to coax Vince Young to go back in the game, because his feelings were hurt, because the fans were booing him, because he was sucking. Lets see, Rickey Williams, Cedric Benson, Vince Young, what do all these guys have in common? (brows going to kick my ass)
The "get used to this the rest of the year" tier
18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 0-1 - Did they play bad? No, but they didn't play all that well either. Get used to it.
19. Cleveland Browns 0-1 - Are they as bad as the looked vs. a good Dallas team? No, but they play what I like to call the GonnaSiphaHerpleAids schedule. So, Get used to it.
20. Arizona Cardinals 1-0 - When you are an average team, but you play in a div with STL, SF, and Seattle, your going to get some wins despite your average talent. So, Get used to it.
The "Maybe a Rookie QB aint such a bad thing" tier.
21. Atlanta Falcons 1-0 - I don't think anyone will remember this that didn't go to Bonham Middle School in Temple Texas, but we had this speaker one day, his name was Tony Syyks, and he was a cop. But not just a cop, A rapping cop from the "hood." His songs were such greatness as "I'm a homeboy who became a cop" and "why fight when you can dance." I really wish I was making this up. Anyway, during one of his "songs" he said the line "I'm Toney Syyks, syyks, Syyks" and traild off syyks like it was an echo. Back around to the Falcons, everytime I hear Matt Ryans' name, I think of Ryan standing there going "I'm Matty Ice, Ice, Ice" just like the homeboy who became a cop. Don't know why, but it makes me giggle.
22. Baltimore Ravens 1-0 How bad do you feel for Troy Smith? He was the golden boy at OSU till he blew ass in that championship game vs Florida, and then he fell to the third round, and as soon as he gets his shot at starting, he goes down due to injury. No worries right, the guy who is starting till he gets healthy is a rookie, so they we most deff welcome him back and at least give him shot when he's right with ball, right? Well, Joe Flacco may never sit on the bench this year. Sorry for ya, Troy.
the "bitch, you better get better or I'm going to look like a dumb ass" tier.
23. Washington Redskins 0-1 Jason Campbell, 7 years post high school, 6 different Offensive Coordinators. Is this another way the man is trying to keep the brotha down?
24. Seattle Seahawks 0-1 - Ohh wayyy we had to take our carter jet, with leather seats, personal chief, and striper pole in the back all the way to New York. How can you expect us to play across 3 time zones? Pussys.
25. Houston Texans 0-1 - They did a whole big thing on Mario Williams during one of the pre game shows, and how he'll be the difference against a porous Pitt o-line. Yea, not so much.
26. Miami Dolphins 0-1 - I will say this, they looked much, much better than they did last year, but they don't have any big talent over there. And can they please stop with the baseball/football stadiums? I used to think this was cool, but now it just bothers me. Ohh and your check for letting Favre win on opening day should be in the mail from CBS any day now.
27. Cincinnati Bengals 0-1 - I'm giving this team one more week, but if they play like they did this week, hello last place. This team looked putrid. Like vomit after a night of sushi and guennis beer.
the "i just crapped my pants" tier.
28. Kansas City Chiefs 0-1 - You knocked out Tom Brady, held the Pats to 17, and still lost. That's like getting a girl drunk after a nice dinner, and having her pass out on you while she's starting to felace you.
29. San Francisco 49ers 0-1 - Frank Gore and your crazy knees, Patches O'Hoolahan and your crazy arm, Patrick Willis and your crazy tackling. You guys are cute. Shitty, But Cute.
30. St. Louis Rams 0-1 - So you have one of the best RB's in the league and you give it to him like twice. That's some sound ass thinking. That's like have 3 testicles and then removing one because your too bad ass.
31. Detroit Lions 0-1 Lost. To. Atlanta.
32. Oakland Raiders 0-1 - Do they have promise? Yes, Will they win a game this year? Maybe. Is Al Davis just waiting on the new HeMan movie so he can play the antagonist? God I hope so.
So there's week one. Hope you have fun reading it. If not, all complaints can be sent to tom1310@prodigy.net.
Monday, September 8, 2008
College Football Weekly round up - Week 2
Haha, You were last, you eat the cookie!Its always nice when the schedule works out for you. This last Saturday was UNT's first home game of the year. I love going to games at UNT and I love drinking cold beer out in the parking lot of Fouts Field even more. The only bad part about doing this is I miss most of the live college football games on TV.
Now I have a DVR, and I recorded the "big" games and post game shows on ESPN, so I can start my NFL Sunday with a college recap from the day before, and also all the bars in Denton have Sports Center and the late games going on mute the rest of the night.
That said, what a perfect day to not watch college football this weekend. With only one upset and only a handfull of close games, I didn't feel I missed all that much this weekend, and the Round Up shows it, as all the Main Eventers have stayed the same, and only one team dropped out of the Mid Card level.
So here we go, again the teams are voted on who can win the BCS championship, and who is right there, presented in order of most impressive.
Main Eventers
No. 5 Florida (26-3, Miami (FL)) - winning only 9-3 in going into the 4th, 17 unanswered points gave the Tebow's a nice win.
No. 4 Oklahoma (52-26 Cincinnati 26) - Take away the kickoff return for a TD and a last second TD and 52-12 looks even better for the Sooners.
No. 2 Georgia (56-17 Central Michigan) - Knowshawn Moreno, 9.3 yards per carry. Wow.
No. 1 USC (idel) - ahh yes, they played the ever daunting nobody. Two weeks to prepair for Ohio St. This may not end well for the Buckeyes.
No. 3 Ohio State (26-14, Ohio) - Losing going into the 4th, 5-15 on third downs, no down field threats, I really hope this team was looking past Ohio, because if they weren't, they are going to get rolled by USC this week.
Mid Carders
No. 6 Missouri (52-3, Southeast Missouri State) - That is how good teams should play against bad ones. 592 total yards. Nice.
No. 10 Texas (42-13, UTEP) - Does 1-6 on third downs and getting out gained on total yardage to UTEP bother any Texas fans? A win is a win non the less.
No. 8 LSU (Troy) - Game was postponed due to the shittyness that Gustav caused Baton Rouge. I've got an uncle over there and he's still without power. I was looking forward to seeing what Troy could do, but I'm glad people realize that sometimes there are more important things than football.
No. 9 Auburn (27-13, Southern Miss) - I guess the spread attack of the Auburn passing game will take a few weeks to get going. While not bad, 21 of 34 for 228 doesn't make me think of the Run and Gun, put all the women and children to bed and go looking for dinner that the War Eagle's promised us.
No. 14 Kansas (29-0, Louisiana Tech) - With WVU losing, that opened a mid card spot up for another team, and I was on the fence between Kansas, Alabama, and Wisconson. Alabama has a better win, yet I don't really believe in them, and I refuse to get tricked again (like i do almost every year) in thinking the Badgers are worth a damn, I'm going with Kansas.
Todd Reesing was 32/38, for 412 yards, 3TD's and no picks. That's pretty damn good.
Developmental Guys.(guys to keep your eyes on, not necessarily the next 5 best teams.)
No. 13 Alabama (20-6, Tulane) - Got out gained 172-318, yet help the green wave out of the endzone.
No. 15 Arizona State (41-17, Stanford) - For the past 5 or 6 years, Arizona State has been trying to catch up to USC in the Pac 10, and every year they get a little closer. Watch out for this team and their pretty good QB, Rudy Carpenter, ( 27/36, 345, 3TD's, 1 int).
East Carolina (24-3, No. 8 West Virginia) - Holy crap I was only joking when I said ECU could beat WVU. This team could be for real, Balanced, Efficient, Selfless, all quality for a BCS buster, and now they have 2 wins over top 15 teams. That's better than anyone else in the country.
No. 12 Texas Tech (35-19, Nevada) - Not a good day for Graham Herrell, 19/46 for 297, 1 TD and 2 picks.
No. 19 Penn State (45-14, Oregon State) - They beat a pac-10 team, albeit not a very good pac 10 team, handily. Could this be JoePa's last great run?
The Big Ups to all my Haters weekly upset of the week going to ECU. Duh.
And lasty, like I said earlier, I went to the UNT game this weekend where we got drilled by Tulsa, 56-26. I didn't think we had a shot in this game, as Tulsa is a decent little team, but having 42 dropped on you during the first half was tough. Just to clarify, when I said I went to the game, I ment I went tail gating, and then listen to the first half from the parking lot, then went to the bar to watch the rest of the game. If the game was even kinda close, I probably would have went in for the second half, but it wasn't. Is that sorry? Probably, but that's how I roll. Deal with it.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Maybe now Big will join my hatred
I hate Oklahoma.
Everything about the state makes me want to gargle broken glass and wipe my butt hole with steel wool.
That being said, I automatically hate the new NBA franchise in Oklahoma City.
I already hated them for taking the Sonics out of Seattle and moving them to a destined to fail city, but with the release of the logo...oh boy.
Big, the entire time, has asked me to sit tight and just see what happens. Why? Big's a pretty peace loving guy, and he doesn't have the hatred I have toward things for no reason...unless it's the Belgians, Big starts punching people if he sees Van Damme or waffles.
However, I have come across an interesting note buried in an Oklahoma City NBA blog that might just turn Big on to my side.
Come on now, Big...feel your anger rise.
Everything about the state makes me want to gargle broken glass and wipe my butt hole with steel wool.
That being said, I automatically hate the new NBA franchise in Oklahoma City.
I already hated them for taking the Sonics out of Seattle and moving them to a destined to fail city, but with the release of the logo...oh boy.
Big, the entire time, has asked me to sit tight and just see what happens. Why? Big's a pretty peace loving guy, and he doesn't have the hatred I have toward things for no reason...unless it's the Belgians, Big starts punching people if he sees Van Damme or waffles.
However, I have come across an interesting note buried in an Oklahoma City NBA blog that might just turn Big on to my side.
"Oh well, it isn't the logo that makes the team, its what happens on the court that matters. Who am I kidding, this is the worst thing that's happened in Oklahoma since Dairy Queen pulled out of the state."That's right, buddy, Oklahoma was so bad that DQ left, you weren't imagining things. Not only is the beer weak, but you can't even get a Hunger Buster or The Dude!!
Come on now, Big...feel your anger rise.
Greatest. Photoshop. Ever.(not involving porn)
If you don't read Kissing Suzy Kolber, and your into funny stuff and sports, I think your internet privileges should be taken away. Below is the winning entrance to a contest they had. Its NFL people as Masters of the Universe Villains. Can't wait for the new HeMan movie.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
The NFL starts tomorrow...
As Big mentioned in his post below this, I'm not mentioning college football. That being said, I wanted to bring up the top 10 NFL stories that I'm going to focus on this year.
In no particular order...
1) Romo and Simpson
Okay, anyone want to challenge me now that this bitch has gotten in the Dallas QB's head? She picks out his clothes and he listens to her music to pump himself up? He also forces other players to listen as well. This bitch gives me a really creepy Yoko feel to things, and it might take Adam Jones to treat Romo to Club Onyx and show him what's going down on the underground. Might I also add, this is really his second full season...beware the sophomore slump.
2) The New York Quarterback
David Carr is the backup for the Giants. That's right, if Eli goes down, they're going to depend on the vinyl gloved pretty boy to lead the way. Oh yeah, the other team has a guy who might just regret coming back from retirement.
3) Merriman's Knee
So, let me get this straight. Shawne Merriman has two torn ligaments in his knee. He has seen 4 specialists all of whom have told him to forgoe this season and have surgery or he risks his career. Merriman opts to neglect surgery and play with a brace on instead. Merriman's going to play a season knowing the Denver Broncos utilize the cut block and he plays them twice??? REALLY?
4) Brady's Foot
Ahh yes, Tom Brady hasn't played this preseason because his foot is injured. He walked around with a boot before the Super Bowl. So the foot is similar to his shoulder in that he was born with a terrible injury? I think this is your manufactured excuse from New England as to why they're not going to be the elite AFC team this year.
5) Chad
I'm interested in this for three reasons. First, will the announcers really refer to him as "Ocho Cinco" or will they still call him "Chad" or "Johnson" or "Chad JOhnson"? Second, is TJ Houshmanzadeh going to add syllables to his name just to fuck with Chad? Third, how long before either Carson Palmer or Marvin Lewis snap and just punch Chad on the sidelines?
6) The Dallas Wide Receiving Corps
Terrell Owens and a bunch of dudes. Jerry refuses to make a move for Boldin or the real Roy Williams. Instead, it's a former quarterback, a flex running back, and a bunch of injured spares. Jason Witten's going to get a LOT of work, or Romo had better develop a scrambling capability to rival Cunningham.
7) Tarvaris Jackson
Everyone loves the Vikings this year. One of the best O-lines when McKinnie gets back. One of the best D-lines with the addition of Allen. One of the best RB duos with Peterson and Taylor. The addition of capable pass catchers. The hole they have might be the most important, quarterback. Is TRAVIS Jackson going to cut it? Will Childress turn to the crazy hands of Gus Frerotte? Might we see a blockbuster trade and Brad Childress gets his favorite QB in the world, Donovan McNabb? (no)
8) Rookie Starters Behind Center
Joe Flaaco and Matt Ryan. Each guy has his work cut out for him trying to win over a fan base. Flaaco has to be a relative no-name and try to win over a cynical fan base in Baltimore. Ryan, well, he's a lily white pocket passer who's attempting to erase the "legacy" of a "heroic" black quarterback in a predominantly black fan base who felt their quarterback was wrongly targeted and crucified.
9) The Jacksonville Jaguars
The AFC's most hyped team? Probably. People are saying this is the year the Colts get supplanted by the Jaguars. Garrard is thought to be one of the best in the league (I'd agree), and the defense is one of the more fly to the ball type crazed mentality defenses. Oh yeah, but with the hype comes the train of shit. High profile arrests? Check. Starters getting shot? Check. Uh oh.
10) USC Stars' Continued Failure
This is a personal thing for me. Being a Texas alum, I heard nothing but Leinart and Bush for the longest time, and ever since my boys put those bitches down in the National Title game and both of those ass holes tried to say it was a flook, I have dedicated my life to wishing nothing but failure on these two. Does God hate Reggie Bush? Pairs him with sex tape queen and sends hurricane after hurricane to New Orleans, you tell me. Leinart is in competition with one of God's quarterbacks, so God gave him herpes and puts him in the failure that is Arizona. We're a couple of torn ACL's from me throwing a party for God.
I'm back on the road starting next week, so I leave the blog in the capable hands of the originator and creator of this corner of the internet, Big.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
College Football Weekly Round Up - Week 1
College Football=Big's HeroinI've never done heroin. Hard to believe I know, but I have never have. Watching FSN last Thursday where Wake Forest took on Baylor, and hearing the FSN game of the week music, i know what it feels like to get a really good fix.
It just soothed over me. Flooding my body with a warm feeling, as my eyes rolled into the back of my head, and at that moment, nothing else even mattered.
Then I came to and realised I was watching Baylor football, and the euphoric feeling lessened a bit.
Needless to say, College Football is back!
Every week during the college football season I'll pop on a post about College Football and the weeks past games. Its going to go down like this for the most part, until the last part of the season where I'll introduce a Heisman section as well. I'll give you three groups of teams, 5 teams each, and how they faired over the weekend and because I love wrestling, they will be in wrestling terms:
Main Eventers (team who have a legit shot at the BCS championship, IE your HHH's and Dave Batistia's)
Mid-Cards - (teams that aren't quite good enough for a national championship yet, but are right there, i.e. Kennedys, Santino Marella's)
Developmental guys(teams that are long shots, but are have a bunch of raw talent i.e. Evan Bourn, Priceless)
It being the first week, and only one game has been played, this list always starts out long.
Main Eventers (in order of how good they looked)
No. 3 USC (win 52-7 Virginia) - Look how Dirty Shanchez is! 26 of 35, 338 yards, 3 TD's 1 INT.
No. 5 Florida (win 56-10 Hawaii) - Only 1 TD for Tebow? I smell trouble!
No. 2 Ohio State (win 43-0, Youngstown State) Will no Beanie make their head cold?(giggle)
No. 1 Georgia (win 45-21, Georgia Southern) Not gonna lie, thought they could have been better.
No. 4 Oklahoma (win 57-2, Chattanooga) - 50-0 at half time.
Mid-Carders
No. 7 LSU (win 41-13, Appalachian State) Need to see what kind of QB they really have.
No. 8 West Virginia (48-21, Villanova) In that "lots of O, no D" mold that will be a trend here.
No. 11 Texas (win 52-10, Florida Atlantic) People aren't talking about this team (cough Brown) whether it be lack of superstar talent(false), disappointment over the last few years(true) or the thought of a mention will jinx them (brown), but watch out, this team is good.
No. 6 Missouri (win 52-42, No. 20 Illinois) All O, no D. (didn't believe me did you)
No. 10 Auburn (win 34-0, Louisiana-Monroe) nice new spread attack at Auburn where they passed the ball for 85 yards and ran it for 321(!).
Developmental Teams
No. 12 Texas Tech (win 49-24, Eastern Washington) All O.....you get the idea.
No. 24 Alabama (win 34-10, No. 9 Clemson) Don't think they will be here long, but when you beat the number 9 team in the land, you should be jumped up at least 10 spots. Plus I can only imagine what the scene was like at Gerry's House sat night, talk about not wanting to be the cracker.
No. 14 Kansas (win 40-10, Florida International) Say it was Lucky last year for the fighting Mangino's, but all I'm going off of is last years BCS win and this nice showing in the opener.
No. 22 Penn State (win 66-10, Coastal Carolina) Actuall text I sent brown while watching college football rewind, "I think they could take any of Joe-Pa's post game interviews from the past 30 years, and play them for me, and i wouldn't be able to tell what decade they were in, much less year." He's the winingnest coach of all time, for at least a week, congrats Joe-Pa.
No. 16 Brigham Young (win 41-17, Northern Iowa) The BCS buster dejoir this year. Looks like the "experts" might be right on this one. Might have something other than the Detmer family to hang your hat on come the end of the year.
The Big ups to all my haters! award for best upset of the week goes to two team:
Arkansas State win over my beloved Aggie's of Texas A&M 18-14. Way to go Shermenator, way to represent for the Aggie's, and way to go Steven McGee, I've been telling people all off season you were a good passing QB, now I look like (more of) an Ass.
And East Carolina out Beamering Frank Beamer as they blocked a late punt for a TD in their 27 to 22 win over No. 17 Virginia Tech. Va Tech is always overrated, and I'm glad they got knocked down early. Also ECU has West Virginia this weekend, ewwwwEEEEEwwooooo!!!
And in closing, as I will try and do every week, until the pain is too much to bear, my alma mater lost it's opening game 45-6 to K-state. Now I know North Texas isn't the best team, and we are far from our lovely days as Sunbelt powerhouses, but come on Todd Dodge, 100 yards passing for a poor 3.4 yards per catch? We are better than that right? And hello Lynch, as i know your the only one reading this far down because it talks about North Texas Football.
It just soothed over me. Flooding my body with a warm feeling, as my eyes rolled into the back of my head, and at that moment, nothing else even mattered.
Then I came to and realised I was watching Baylor football, and the euphoric feeling lessened a bit.
Needless to say, College Football is back!
Every week during the college football season I'll pop on a post about College Football and the weeks past games. Its going to go down like this for the most part, until the last part of the season where I'll introduce a Heisman section as well. I'll give you three groups of teams, 5 teams each, and how they faired over the weekend and because I love wrestling, they will be in wrestling terms:
Main Eventers (team who have a legit shot at the BCS championship, IE your HHH's and Dave Batistia's)
Mid-Cards - (teams that aren't quite good enough for a national championship yet, but are right there, i.e. Kennedys, Santino Marella's)
Developmental guys(teams that are long shots, but are have a bunch of raw talent i.e. Evan Bourn, Priceless)
It being the first week, and only one game has been played, this list always starts out long.
Main Eventers (in order of how good they looked)
No. 3 USC (win 52-7 Virginia) - Look how Dirty Shanchez is! 26 of 35, 338 yards, 3 TD's 1 INT.
No. 5 Florida (win 56-10 Hawaii) - Only 1 TD for Tebow? I smell trouble!
No. 2 Ohio State (win 43-0, Youngstown State) Will no Beanie make their head cold?(giggle)
No. 1 Georgia (win 45-21, Georgia Southern) Not gonna lie, thought they could have been better.
No. 4 Oklahoma (win 57-2, Chattanooga) - 50-0 at half time.
Mid-Carders
No. 7 LSU (win 41-13, Appalachian State) Need to see what kind of QB they really have.
No. 8 West Virginia (48-21, Villanova) In that "lots of O, no D" mold that will be a trend here.
No. 11 Texas (win 52-10, Florida Atlantic) People aren't talking about this team (cough Brown) whether it be lack of superstar talent(false), disappointment over the last few years(true) or the thought of a mention will jinx them (brown), but watch out, this team is good.
No. 6 Missouri (win 52-42, No. 20 Illinois) All O, no D. (didn't believe me did you)
No. 10 Auburn (win 34-0, Louisiana-Monroe) nice new spread attack at Auburn where they passed the ball for 85 yards and ran it for 321(!).
Developmental Teams
No. 12 Texas Tech (win 49-24, Eastern Washington) All O.....you get the idea.
No. 24 Alabama (win 34-10, No. 9 Clemson) Don't think they will be here long, but when you beat the number 9 team in the land, you should be jumped up at least 10 spots. Plus I can only imagine what the scene was like at Gerry's House sat night, talk about not wanting to be the cracker.
No. 14 Kansas (win 40-10, Florida International) Say it was Lucky last year for the fighting Mangino's, but all I'm going off of is last years BCS win and this nice showing in the opener.
No. 22 Penn State (win 66-10, Coastal Carolina) Actuall text I sent brown while watching college football rewind, "I think they could take any of Joe-Pa's post game interviews from the past 30 years, and play them for me, and i wouldn't be able to tell what decade they were in, much less year." He's the winingnest coach of all time, for at least a week, congrats Joe-Pa.
No. 16 Brigham Young (win 41-17, Northern Iowa) The BCS buster dejoir this year. Looks like the "experts" might be right on this one. Might have something other than the Detmer family to hang your hat on come the end of the year.
The Big ups to all my haters! award for best upset of the week goes to two team:
Arkansas State win over my beloved Aggie's of Texas A&M 18-14. Way to go Shermenator, way to represent for the Aggie's, and way to go Steven McGee, I've been telling people all off season you were a good passing QB, now I look like (more of) an Ass.
And East Carolina out Beamering Frank Beamer as they blocked a late punt for a TD in their 27 to 22 win over No. 17 Virginia Tech. Va Tech is always overrated, and I'm glad they got knocked down early. Also ECU has West Virginia this weekend, ewwwwEEEEEwwooooo!!!
And in closing, as I will try and do every week, until the pain is too much to bear, my alma mater lost it's opening game 45-6 to K-state. Now I know North Texas isn't the best team, and we are far from our lovely days as Sunbelt powerhouses, but come on Todd Dodge, 100 yards passing for a poor 3.4 yards per catch? We are better than that right? And hello Lynch, as i know your the only one reading this far down because it talks about North Texas Football.
Friday, August 29, 2008
"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!
I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.
"I've got 14 gold medals."
"I make $80 Million a year, and I'm injured. Chump."
"I've got 14 gold medals."
"I make $80 Million a year, and I'm injured. Chump."
Have a great long weekend!
A guy oversleeps and the shit hits the fan
What the hell?
I hit the snooze button one too many times and I get to wake up to my phone exploding with text messages and emails.
-McCain picks a female VP. Yup, that's right, the Alaskan governor, Sarah Palin. Genius political move. And if he wins? We get to blame America's struggle on old people and women! MY DREAM IS COMING TRUE!! By the way, we don't talk politics here, so just don't start that crap. The mere mention of US/China relations set Dorsey and Steve off in a comment record for this site.
Update: I know I just said we don't talk politics or anything, but I hope everyone realizes how historic this campaign for the Presidency is. We have one ticket with a man of mixed race and an unconventional upbringing as the major party's candidate for the highest single office in the world. The other ticket, though not the first to do so, has a woman representing a major party candidate for the second in command of the highest office in the world. I don't care what your political leanings are, and I know there are people who aren't happy to see this, but we should all take a moment and realize how monumental this really is for America. And...scene.
-Chad
-It's Michael Jackson's 50th birthday today. There's not really a joke there, just the fact that one of the greatest singers in history is turning 50. Yes, he fucks little kids, but I just said he can sing.
-There will be no Big XII preview from me on this website. After what I've done to the Rangers by merely mentioning them during the All-Star break, I refuse to talk about my alma mater no matter how much I've studied everyone down to the red shirts. That's nothing out of the ordinary, just stop asking. That being said, college football starting up is like heroine hitting my vein...so good, so warm, so inviting. Gameday is going to feel like a coke bender.
-The Grizzlies signed an Iranian. Cue up Steve, please.
America, Fuck Yea, with an interesting tidbit
So one of our readers/cementers, Bizzle, has sent us an email, and wanted to share something with the world. Here is his words.
Yo,
So I have a 3rd(?) cousin who is basically a bad ass at every thing he does. Among those is being the first Iowan to climb Mt. Everest. Long story short he's attempting to swim the English Channel sometime this week which would make him the first American to have completed what's called the "Peak and Pond" (climbing Everest and swimming the Channel). I know this isn't along the usual TB&TB agenda, but it'd be cool if you posted it. I wouldn't have sent this except for the whole being "the first American to do it" thing.
Here's a link
-Bizzle
There you go buddy, Go America
Yo,
So I have a 3rd(?) cousin who is basically a bad ass at every thing he does. Among those is being the first Iowan to climb Mt. Everest. Long story short he's attempting to swim the English Channel sometime this week which would make him the first American to have completed what's called the "Peak and Pond" (climbing Everest and swimming the Channel). I know this isn't along the usual TB&TB agenda, but it'd be cool if you posted it. I wouldn't have sent this except for the whole being "the first American to do it" thing.
Here's a link
-Bizzle
There you go buddy, Go America
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Greatest Video Game Athletes of all Time
So the great people over at IGN have another list, much like the Greatest Madden QB's of all time, this one is Greatest Video Game Athletes of all time.
Here is the list
10. Reggie Jackson (RBI Baseball)
9. Tommy Armour III (PGA Tour II)
8. Brock Lesnar (Smackdown!: Here Comes The Pain)
7. Ken Griffey (Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball)
6. Charles Barkley (Barkley's Shut Up And Jam!)
5. Bill Elliott (Bill Elliott's NASCAR Challenge)
4. Jeremy Roenick (NHLPA Hockey '93)
3. Michael Vick (Madden '04)
2. Bo Jackson (Tecmo Bowl)
1. Mike Tyson (Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!)
As a gamer, and a avid sports gamer, I can honestly say the top 4 are spot on. Roenick, Vick, Jackson and Tyson are the best video game people I've ever played with or against. The idea of running with Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl is still something i dream about at night.
Reggie Jackson is also perfect. RBI baseball was such a great game, and Reggie Jackson was so dominate, that as a child, i didn't even follow baseball but i knew about Jackson's prowless over RBI baseball.
Barkley, Griffy, Armor, and Elliot, the games sucked so i didn't play em at all.
All in all a good list.
Here is the list
10. Reggie Jackson (RBI Baseball)
9. Tommy Armour III (PGA Tour II)
8. Brock Lesnar (Smackdown!: Here Comes The Pain)
7. Ken Griffey (Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball)
6. Charles Barkley (Barkley's Shut Up And Jam!)
5. Bill Elliott (Bill Elliott's NASCAR Challenge)
4. Jeremy Roenick (NHLPA Hockey '93)
3. Michael Vick (Madden '04)
2. Bo Jackson (Tecmo Bowl)
1. Mike Tyson (Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!)
As a gamer, and a avid sports gamer, I can honestly say the top 4 are spot on. Roenick, Vick, Jackson and Tyson are the best video game people I've ever played with or against. The idea of running with Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl is still something i dream about at night.
Reggie Jackson is also perfect. RBI baseball was such a great game, and Reggie Jackson was so dominate, that as a child, i didn't even follow baseball but i knew about Jackson's prowless over RBI baseball.
Barkley, Griffy, Armor, and Elliot, the games sucked so i didn't play em at all.
All in all a good list.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
This has TB&TB written all over it
So I know, People have been asking, "Where's that portly, slightly funny fellow big?"
And Despite life getting in the way, I've been in the shadows, watching, waiting, wanting.
So without further adu, here is something the Big and Brown will be competing in next year, and yes, I think we can win it.
And Despite life getting in the way, I've been in the shadows, watching, waiting, wanting.
So without further adu, here is something the Big and Brown will be competing in next year, and yes, I think we can win it.
I wonder if they used Nolan Ryan's lean beef
So, the Rangers send a message that they're calling it quits this season by trading "Everyday Eddie" Guardado for a hamburger.
Well, maybe Ron Washington was hungry or John Daniels had the munchies. Did they offer to gladly pay for the hamburger Tuesday? (That's a fucking Popeye joke, I spit hot fire!)
Honestly, guys, a hamburger?
I thought that Coors Light commercial was a joke where that guy on the Detroit Lions gets a Lions tattoo and ends up getting traded for a case of Coors? That shit was funny. I never thought it would actually happen.
We traded the only effective bullpen guy and the Rangers current closer for a tasty, grilled entree?
I can't belie---
What's that?
Mark Hamburger, you say?
A 21 year old prospect from Minnesota, huh?
Well, color me embarrassed.
Monday, August 25, 2008
I know what you're thinking, and you'd be wrong.
This is for you Bobby, Christian, and JJ!!
I'm going to touch the Olympics one more time. (Olympics, touch the doll where Brown touched you.) This time, it's nothing about judging or Mongolian China Love. No, this time it's about the Dallas Mavericks.
Huh?
I heard it on the radio this morning, "Jason Kidd won a gold medal, so that means he's still got it!"
*cough*BULLSHIT*cough*
Yes, Jason Kidd was on the USA Basketball team that won a gold medal this year.
Yes, Jason Kidd was on the court for a few minutes.
Jason Kidd provided leadership and experience to a team that didn't need (or want) him on the court, and THAT'S why Jason Kidd has a third gold medal to hit Joumana with.
What does that mean? It means that the Mavericks don't have Chris Paul or Deron Williams running the point, so they're stuck with asking Jason Kidd to play. If the Olympics have taught us anything, it's that Jason Kidd could be Avery Johnson 2.0. He could be the aging point guard who understand the game and has a court vision like very few, and he can teach that to the younger guys and lead a team from the bench.
I'm not saying make Jason Kidd a coach. I'm saying put him in the Avery Johnson or Darrel Armstrong role. The Mavs have nothing at point guard, so they'll need to get someone not name Juan Jose Barea to play.
No more Olympics until Vancouver, where I can bring up how the god damn Canadians are cheating the U.S. out of figure skating medals by placing mounties, moose and elk on the ice and claiming they're 16 year old girls.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Update on that whole subjectivity thing...
So, based on the commentary, a few of you actually decided to read something on this site...for those that didn't, I put up a post regarding subjectivity in the Olympics games.
Well, I was trolling the interwebs and came across the great Yahoo! Olympic blog, Fourth Place Medal
See, Chris Chase is doing a study on how the objective versus the subjective events are turning out, and he's calling it "the Real Medal Count". Essentially, he's removed from the medal totals the events that are completely based on judges scores to determine a winner. Those events are :
- Diving
- Equestrian
- Gymnastics
- Judo
- Synchronized Swimming
- Taekwondo
- Trampoline (an event being chastised on our comment boards)
- Wrestling
First, the current medal count:
| Gold | Silver | Bronze | Total | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| China | 46 | 15 | 22 | 83 | |
| United States | 29 | 34 | 32 | 95 |
Now, the "real" medal count:
| Gold | Silver | Bronze | Total | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| United States | 25 | 26 | 25 | 76 | |
| China | 23 | 12 | 13 | 48 |
Hey, the proof's in the pudding, and as my blogging buddy, Big, might say, "god damned, mongolians!"
Awesome job by Chris over at Yahoo!.
Hey wait, we grew up watching that station!
If you have paid even scant attention to sports on the internet, then you're aware of Brian Collins, more appropriately, "the boom goes the dynamite guy".
Here's the video to refresh your memory:
Wonderful.
Anyways, seems young Brian has finished his term at Ball State and has found himself working at KXXV in Waco, Texas.
Wait a second, KXXV, Channel 25 in Waco, Texas? You mean the ABC affiliate that broadcasts to the greater Central Texas area? That's right, both mine and Big's hometown, not far from Waco (it's a city commonly known as Assholeofamerica, Texas) , will now be getting a dose of the one and only Brian Collins!
Nope, still not enough to get me to visit my parents.
You'll never be better than Iandoli, buddy, so you might as well find another market.
Separate note, Robert Flores, now of ESPN Sportscenter fame, got his start in the same area on Channel 10, then moved to KEYE in Austin and is now at ESPN. So, you know, Brian does have that one in a million chance.
Think Charles Barkley is an ass hole?
Hat tip: Awful Announcing
Have we got a show for you.
The crown prince of pudge is going to undergo a live colonoscopy on television during a "Stand Up for Cancer" special being simulcast on a few channels.
Here's what I don't understand about the whole cancer screening process...why do men have to go through gay tests?
We get our balls rubbed and asses violated. Really? All the technology in the world, and we're still relegated to a rubber glove with some KY?
Have we got a show for you.
The crown prince of pudge is going to undergo a live colonoscopy on television during a "Stand Up for Cancer" special being simulcast on a few channels.
"Sir Charles, 45, says he was surprised that the show approached him, but was happy to participate in promoting awareness for colonoscopies, which screen for prostate and other cancers.Celebrity with the biggest ass? Ok, I guess that makes sense.
Barkley said that when he told his friend Fred Lavner, of NB2 Apparel, about being asked to undergo the procedure on television, Lavner replied they were "probably just looking for the celebrity with the biggest ass.""
Here's what I don't understand about the whole cancer screening process...why do men have to go through gay tests?
We get our balls rubbed and asses violated. Really? All the technology in the world, and we're still relegated to a rubber glove with some KY?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Brown goes to the House of Blues to watch...TNA Wrestling?
That's right, you read that title correctly. TNA Wrestling was in town this weekend and put on a little show at the House of Blues. So, El Blogador and I went to check out the scene.
Here's a few notes:
- Booker T rode to the event in a very elaborate RV and parked it in between the House of Blues and Hooters.
- Blogador and I ate at the Hooters and had a window staring at Booker T's RV, our main form of enjoyment of was a fat kid in a Kix (the band, not the cereal) t-shirt and a binder waiting for autographs. Blogador and I make a pact stating that if either of us stooped that low, the other would put a bullet in said person's head.
- Lots of kids at TNA Wrestling meaning, lots of beaten down parents.
- Jeremy Borash might be the gayest man on the planet
- Petey Williams's finisher, "the Canadian Destroyer", looks as cool live as it does on television
- Fans of TNA Wrestling apparently have no sense of humor because Blogador and I tried all night to get chants going to make wrestler's laugh. Nothing caught on, but the old black man across the aisle from us couldn't stop laughing.
- Blogador and I can get pretty racist without thinking about what we're saying. We both played the "hey, we're minorities too" card and got off scot-free. Take that, whitey!
- Curry Man's dancing is quite infectious. Even we were dancing like jack asses.
- I decided, after a few beers, it was the appropriate time to hit on MILFs. Turns out the MILF I chose happened to be the PRESIDENT OF TNA WRESTLING. That's right, of all the people in the building I hit on, it happened to be the president of the promotion.
- Biggest laugh from our section: when Awesome Kong came out and Blogador screamed "That's a huge bitch!" at a particularly quiet moment.
- TNA Knockout champion, Taylor Wilde = Nastia Liukin with a boob job...right down to the five-head.
- Jay Lethal's Macho Man gimmick is more nostalgic in person then it is on television.
- LAX (Latin American eXchange) got the biggest pop of the night. I started a "De-mo-graphics" chant...no one got the joke.
- If you saw Samoa Joe at the gym, you might think he just got a membership and it's his first time there and not that this guy is the World Heavyweight Champion. Go figure.
Why are there subjective events in the Olympics?
If you've been paying attention to the Olympics, which we have in between WWE pay-per-views and Cowboy preseason games, then you might have noticed some fairly eyebrow raising judging inconsistencies in the "subjective" events like gymnastics and diving.
So, what's the deal? Is it anti-American bias? Is it Americans being sore losers? Is there some kind of Chinese political appeasement going on?
The only redeeming quality of Brown University
To be honest, I haven't the slightest fucking clue. I just go by what I see. For example, The Big and The Brown's favorite sexy gymnast, Alicia Sacramone, seemingly got screwed out of medaling last night in the women's vault competition. The Chinese girl, Cheng Fei, fell on her knees while landing, and Sacramone landed on her feet. Yet, somehow, China was awarded the bronze medal and Sacramone got fourth place. Interesting.
The one on the left? 18. The other two? 16. Riiight.
Case two, The Big and The Brown's favorite local gymnast, Nastia Liukin, was seemingly screwed out of a gold medal in the uneven bars last night. A TIED score with the Chinese gymnast, He Xexin (the one in the middle that was 13 about 9 months ago, but is 16 now). She TIED the score, but through some kind of weird tiebreaker system, He Xexin got the gold and Liukin got the silver. In the objective events (track, swimming, etc.) ties are allowed. In fact, Jason Lezak tied with some Brazilian swimmer for bronze because they posted the same finishing time in the 100 Freestyle.
Nastia Liukin took the high road, even though in the picture she's about to release her inner Texan and whoop some little kid's ass.
"It’s nothing I can control, and honestly, I can say it has been very fair to me, and I got the biggest gold medal of them all," said Liukin, winner of the women’s all-around gymnastics gold."
So, what's the deal with the subjective sports? Is it really a good thing to inject subjectivity into sporting events? I'm pretty sure the original Olympics only consisted of measurable and quantifiable results...you know, someone wins a wrestling match, someone runs faster than someone else, someone throws a rock further than someone else. Now with technology, it's that much easier to determine if someone touches a wall one one-hundreth of a second faster than someone else. No subjectivity.
Is it sour grapes to look at the cases of total subjectivity and say that the host country, which has been coming into question left and right, could be pressuring the human element of the judging to edge competition out, regardless of that competition's country? I dunno. It just appears that the Chinese team is sweeping a lot of the subjective events and losing a lot of the objective and quantifiable events.
I dunno, but I don't think anyone will listen to objective reasoning within the context of this argument. If you think America lost a subjective event because of a controversy, it's just sour grapes. If you think America won a subjective event fairly, then it's a double standard.
DAVE!
This is why I prefer pro wrestling. At least the results are known ahead of time and cheating is expected. Way to go, Dave.
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