Former Mav running for mayor of…Seattle

Magic thinks James Donaldson needs deodorant

H/T: Ball Don't Lie

If you were a fan of the Mavericks in the late 80’s and beginning of the 90’s, you might remember a big ‘ol center named James Donaldson.  (I’ve met the guy and got his autograph…be jealous.)  He was an All-Star in 1988 and had a generally meh career on a Maverick team that featured Aguirre, Blackman, Harper, Perkins, Tarpley, Schrempf, Davis and Uwe Blab.  (Why they didn’t win a title is beyond me)

Anyway, seems Jimmy is looking to run the city of Seatte.  His platform?  Bring back the Sonics.

Look, I get athletes wanting to become politicians.  Kevin “K.J.” Johnson even became the mayor of Sacramento this year.  But wanting to bring back Sonic to Seattle?  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love the Coney and Tots special as much as the next guy, and a Route 44 cherry limeade can hit the spot, but I don’t know if you can base an entire campaign on it.

What’s that?  Oh, the basketball team?  Well, I guess that makes much more sense.  I agree, James Donaldson, fuck Okahoma City.

It's a sign from God...no one likes Oklahoma City

I've been against Oklahoma from day one. I was horrified regarding the absolute robbery of the Sonics from Seattle and the move to Oklahoma City. I was tickled pink to see a man at the DFW Airport wearing a Thunder jersey. I feel bad that Kevin Durant is stuck in the ass hole of America.

God agrees with me because he has decided to try and kill anyone who dares perform at halftime.

Kristen Johnson is a professional escape artist whose specialty is getting out of handcuffs and leg irons while being fully submerged in a tube of water. Since that one trick is more thrilling than anything the Thunder have done on a basketball court this season, they booked her for the January 16th game against Detroit.

It was a great idea ... right up until the point where Kristen went into hypoxic seizure—that what's happens when your brain runs out of oxygen—in front of 17,000 NBA fans. It look her a bit longer than usual to get out of the chains, so her temporarily lifeless body had to be pulled from the tank before she drowned in front horrified onlookers.

Take heed, Oklahoma. God does not approve of your state, Clay Bennett, or magicians.



Side note: Football is done, and now you're wanting to focus on basketball. Fear not, sexy reader, I am putting together a long post to bring you up to speed on the season and your Dallas Mavericks.

Maybe now Big will join my hatred

I hate Oklahoma.

Everything about the state makes me want to gargle broken glass and wipe my butt hole with steel wool.

That being said, I automatically hate the new NBA franchise in Oklahoma City.

I already hated them for taking the Sonics out of Seattle and moving them to a destined to fail city, but with the release of the logo...oh boy.

Big, the entire time, has asked me to sit tight and just see what happens. Why? Big's a pretty peace loving guy, and he doesn't have the hatred I have toward things for no reason...unless it's the Belgians, Big starts punching people if he sees Van Damme or waffles.

However, I have come across an interesting note buried in an Oklahoma City NBA blog that might just turn Big on to my side.

"Oh well, it isn't the logo that makes the team, its what happens on the court that matters. Who am I kidding, this is the worst thing that's happened in Oklahoma since Dairy Queen pulled out of the state."

That's right, buddy, Oklahoma was so bad that DQ left, you weren't imagining things. Not only is the beer weak, but you can't even get a Hunger Buster or The Dude!!

Come on now, Big...feel your anger rise.