I know what you're thinking, and you'd be wrong.

This is for you Bobby, Christian, and JJ!!

I'm going to touch the Olympics one more time. (Olympics, touch the doll where Brown touched you.) This time, it's nothing about judging or Mongolian China Love. No, this time it's about the Dallas Mavericks.

Huh?

I heard it on the radio this morning, "Jason Kidd won a gold medal, so that means he's still got it!"

*cough*BULLSHIT*cough*

Yes, Jason Kidd was on the USA Basketball team that won a gold medal this year.

Yes, Jason Kidd was on the court for a few minutes.

Jason Kidd provided leadership and experience to a team that didn't need (or want) him on the court, and THAT'S why Jason Kidd has a third gold medal to hit Joumana with.

What does that mean? It means that the Mavericks don't have Chris Paul or Deron Williams running the point, so they're stuck with asking Jason Kidd to play. If the Olympics have taught us anything, it's that Jason Kidd could be Avery Johnson 2.0. He could be the aging point guard who understand the game and has a court vision like very few, and he can teach that to the younger guys and lead a team from the bench.

I'm not saying make Jason Kidd a coach. I'm saying put him in the Avery Johnson or Darrel Armstrong role. The Mavs have nothing at point guard, so they'll need to get someone not name Juan Jose Barea to play.

No more Olympics until Vancouver, where I can bring up how the god damn Canadians are cheating the U.S. out of figure skating medals by placing mounties, moose and elk on the ice and claiming they're 16 year old girls.

Update on that whole subjectivity thing...

So, based on the commentary, a few of you actually decided to read something on this site...for those that didn't, I put up a post regarding subjectivity in the Olympics games.

Well, I was trolling the interwebs and came across the great Yahoo! Olympic blog, Fourth Place Medal

See, Chris Chase is doing a study on how the objective versus the subjective events are turning out, and he's calling it "the Real Medal Count". Essentially, he's removed from the medal totals the events that are completely based on judges scores to determine a winner. Those events are :

• Diving
• Equestrian
• Gymnastics
• Judo
• Synchronized Swimming
• Taekwondo
• Trampoline (an event being chastised on our comment boards)
  
• Wrestling

Anyway, Chase has provided a very intriguing count of medals...

First, the current medal count:

	Gold	Silver	Bronze	Total
China	46	15	22	83
United States	29	34	32	95

Now, the "real" medal count:

	Gold	Silver	Bronze	Total
United States	25	26	25	76
China	23	12	13	48

Hey, the proof's in the pudding, and as my blogging buddy, Big, might say, "god damned, mongolians!"

Awesome job by Chris over at Yahoo!.

Why are there subjective events in the Olympics?

If you've been paying attention to the Olympics, which we have in between WWE pay-per-views and Cowboy preseason games, then you might have noticed some fairly eyebrow raising judging inconsistencies in the "subjective" events like gymnastics and diving.

So, what's the deal? Is it anti-American bias? Is it Americans being sore losers? Is there some kind of Chinese political appeasement going on?

The only redeeming quality of Brown University

To be honest, I haven't the slightest fucking clue. I just go by what I see. For example, The Big and The Brown's favorite sexy gymnast, Alicia Sacramone, seemingly got screwed out of medaling last night in the women's vault competition. The Chinese girl, Cheng Fei, fell on her knees while landing, and Sacramone landed on her feet. Yet, somehow, China was awarded the bronze medal and Sacramone got fourth place. Interesting.

The one on the left? 18. The other two? 16. Riiight.

Case two, The Big and The Brown's favorite local gymnast, Nastia Liukin, was seemingly screwed out of a gold medal in the uneven bars last night. A TIED score with the Chinese gymnast, He Xexin (the one in the middle that was 13 about 9 months ago, but is 16 now). She TIED the score, but through some kind of weird tiebreaker system, He Xexin got the gold and Liukin got the silver. In the objective events (track, swimming, etc.) ties are allowed. In fact, Jason Lezak tied with some Brazilian swimmer for bronze because they posted the same finishing time in the 100 Freestyle.

Nastia Liukin took the high road, even though in the picture she's about to release her inner Texan and whoop some little kid's ass.

"It’s nothing I can control, and honestly, I can say it has been very fair to me, and I got the biggest gold medal of them all," said Liukin, winner of the women’s all-around gymnastics gold."

So, what's the deal with the subjective sports? Is it really a good thing to inject subjectivity into sporting events? I'm pretty sure the original Olympics only consisted of measurable and quantifiable results...you know, someone wins a wrestling match, someone runs faster than someone else, someone throws a rock further than someone else. Now with technology, it's that much easier to determine if someone touches a wall one one-hundreth of a second faster than someone else. No subjectivity.

Is it sour grapes to look at the cases of total subjectivity and say that the host country, which has been coming into question left and right, could be pressuring the human element of the judging to edge competition out, regardless of that competition's country? I dunno. It just appears that the Chinese team is sweeping a lot of the subjective events and losing a lot of the objective and quantifiable events.

I dunno, but I don't think anyone will listen to objective reasoning within the context of this argument. If you think America lost a subjective event because of a controversy, it's just sour grapes. If you think America won a subjective event fairly, then it's a double standard.

DAVE!

This is why I prefer pro wrestling. At least the results are known ahead of time and cheating is expected. Way to go, Dave.

Olympics, Week one in Pics

We So Happy for Olrimpics!

"When I'm 15 I hope I have boobs like you. HEHEHEHE!"

More Like BrASSil! Who's With Me!

"Hey Bron Bron, Look at that White Girl!"

"Yea, She is Bangin'"

Bush: "So That's how you Pop Drop and Lock it"

or from Nayfa

"No Mr. President, you light the match, then I fart."

"That's a Fully Man! A Fully!"

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

The Big and The Brown Water Polo Team

Big's getting into the pool and I'm sitting on the bench

My favorite part of the Olympics so far...

I haven't made any bones about it, I'm hooked on the Olympics this year. I've never been hooked on them before, but I am this time around.

That being said, I was watching the women's team gymnastics final yesterday and was trading texts with Big and with Bear who were also watching it, and...wow, that didn't seem as gay until I typed it and re-read it. In all fairness, most the commentary was on Alicia Sacramone's fine ass...but I digress.

My favorite part of the Olympics so far? Bela Karoyli.

If there ever was a Eastern European, Gymnastics version of Gus Johnson, it's him.

So far, he's gone ape shit during Nastia Liukin's performance, he accused the judges of cheating and having an anti-American bias, he's accused the Chinese team of having a team full of girls who are too young for the Olympics (you have to be at least turning 16 in 2008), and, in general, he's so pumped about gymnastics and his accent, you can barely understand him!

Oh yeah, the only thing that comes to mind when I hear or see this guy....

Lugash.

By the way, I'm having a lot of trouble finding videos this morning, so I'm just going to leave you with "Return of the Mack"

Pain = Funny

I'm so glade everyone is wrapped up in Olympic Fever. All the same guys who poked fun at me because its one of my favorite sporting events are now calling me with stuff like "did you see Phelps! That kid is bad ass!"

Welcome.

Ohh and this is stolen from UniTQM. And if its on his site, you know its good.

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

"OH MY GOD THE WATER'S SO COLD!!"

I am Totally Pumped for the Olympics

Normally, the Olympics are Big's thing, and I mock him for it because it's my hobby.

However, I'm totally hooked.

I've watched nothing but Olympic coverage all weekend and I've found myself clapping and screaming like a jack ass for the American team.

USA over China? Awesometown.

Alicia Sacramone and the rest of the women's gymnastics team that isn't legal? Hell yes.

The Brown guy on the men's gymnastics team? Way to represent, home skillet.

Misty May Treanor and Kerri Walsh? Fuck and yes.

Phelps and the bad ass 400 relay team that stuck it to Frenchie? Cook me a bald eagle omelette because I love America.

This is kicking ass and its only day 3. My TiVO is locked and loaded.

Hey, the Olympics start tomorrow

Hat tip: Fan House

So, the Summer Olympics start tomorrow. You know? Big deal, every 4 years, whole world competes? Well, USA Basketball, for a long time was the shit. Now, with the globalization of the sport and success of other countries, Team USA is another cog in the machine. A favorite, no less, but still a cog in the machine.

Well, courtesy of Nike Basketball, allow the soothing sounds of Marvin Gaye singing our nation anthem get you ready for the Olympics.

Bring it on, world.

If that video doesn't do it for you, how about Dallas's own Dirk Nowitzki sporting the early 1990's hair do...

Why the Summer Olympics make me feel gay

So, the Olympics begin on Friday. Did you know that?

Barry Horn of our very own Dallas Morning News has compiled a "what to watch" list for the big event.

I'm looking at the list and making mental notes on what events I kind of want to watch, and I realized just how uncomfortable it makes me.

See, outside of basketball, the two sets of events that I find myself enthralled in are, diving and gymnastics.

What. The. Fuck.

Can you justify watching gymnastics by saying it's the girls? Not unless you want a visit from Chris Hansen you don't.

Can you justify diving by saying you're secretly hoping for a Louganis-esque accident to occur? Maybe.

I dunno, either way, it's kind of uncomfortable. Thank goodness for the NFL preseason.

Ohh if I were Gay, or a world class sprinter, I'd be pissed!

Let me take you through your morning. You wake up, maybe make yourself a pot of coffee, go brush your teeth, stretch out, head over to your desk, flip on sports center, fire up your lap top, and head over to One News Now to get your morning news, christian style. You look at the screen, and a question forms in your brain as you look at the following?

A Homosexual runs a wind aided 9.68 in the 100? What was he running to, a sale at the Gap?

Unless your a part of the sports world, or gearing up for the Olympics(hello Olympic Big), then you may find this strange, but the web site was actually talking not about a Gay man running the 100, but a man named Gay. Tyson Gay is an Olympic sprinter for the USA, and very straight, as far as I know.

The Website, which is focused on bringing you the news with a christian flavor, has a "automatic filter" that turns the word "Gay" into far less hurtful(?) "homosexual." Makes you wonder what else they have auto filters for?

Either way, I'm sure Tyson, who is going to be one of the main storeys of the Olympics this August, had a little part of him die this morning when he heard about this. Its hard enough to have your last name be Gay, but this? Sucks.

H/T : Fanhouse.

Swimming in circles is now an Olympic event

Hat tip: Fan House

There's going to be an amputee swimmer at the Olympics in China.

She qualified for South Africa by finishing fourth in the 10 km open water swim.

How does she compensate?

"There's no real compensation. You just do the hours in the swimming pool, you do the hours of racing and you do the hours of mental preparation. You just go out and give it everything. I don't even think of one leg, two legs. When you're racing in an able-bodied competition you're all equal and you go out there and try your best, and that's what counts."

They're willing to do anything to boost the ratings on the Olympics this year.

Wait until you readers are introduced to "Olympic Big".