"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

"I've got 14 gold medals."
"I make $80 Million a year, and I'm injured. Chump."

Have a great long weekend!

A guy oversleeps and the shit hits the fan

What the hell?

I hit the snooze button one too many times and I get to wake up to my phone exploding with text messages and emails.

-McCain picks a female VP. Yup, that's right, the Alaskan governor, Sarah Palin. Genius political move. And if he wins? We get to blame America's struggle on old people and women! MY DREAM IS COMING TRUE!! By the way, we don't talk politics here, so just don't start that crap. The mere mention of US/China relations set Dorsey and Steve off in a comment record for this site.

Update: I know I just said we don't talk politics or anything, but I hope everyone realizes how historic this campaign for the Presidency is. We have one ticket with a man of mixed race and an unconventional upbringing as the major party's candidate for the highest single office in the world. The other ticket, though not the first to do so, has a woman representing a major party candidate for the second in command of the highest office in the world. I don't care what your political leanings are, and I know there are people who aren't happy to see this, but we should all take a moment and realize how monumental this really is for America. And...scene.

-Chad Johnson Ocho Cinco legally changes his name. I can't even begin to process this. I can only imagine the scene from "Family Guy" where the Japanese guy is looking up and says "Oh uh-my uh-God".

-It's Michael Jackson's 50th birthday today. There's not really a joke there, just the fact that one of the greatest singers in history is turning 50. Yes, he fucks little kids, but I just said he can sing.

-There will be no Big XII preview from me on this website. After what I've done to the Rangers by merely mentioning them during the All-Star break, I refuse to talk about my alma mater no matter how much I've studied everyone down to the red shirts. That's nothing out of the ordinary, just stop asking. That being said, college football starting up is like heroine hitting my vein...so good, so warm, so inviting. Gameday is going to feel like a coke bender.

-The Grizzlies signed an Iranian. Cue up Steve, please.

America, Fuck Yea, with an interesting tidbit

So one of our readers/cementers, Bizzle, has sent us an email, and wanted to share something with the world. Here is his words.

Yo,

So I have a 3rd(?) cousin who is basically a bad ass at every thing he does. Among those is being the first Iowan to climb Mt. Everest. Long story short he's attempting to swim the English Channel sometime this week which would make him the first American to have completed what's called the "Peak and Pond" (climbing Everest and swimming the Channel). I know this isn't along the usual TB&TB agenda, but it'd be cool if you posted it. I wouldn't have sent this except for the whole being "the first American to do it" thing.

Here's a link

-Bizzle

There you go buddy, Go America

Greatest Video Game Athletes of all Time

So the great people over at IGN have another list, much like the Greatest Madden QB's of all time, this one is Greatest Video Game Athletes of all time.

Here is the list

10. Reggie Jackson (RBI Baseball)
9. Tommy Armour III (PGA Tour II)
8. Brock Lesnar (Smackdown!: Here Comes The Pain)
7. Ken Griffey (Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball)
6. Charles Barkley (Barkley's Shut Up And Jam!)
5. Bill Elliott (Bill Elliott's NASCAR Challenge)
4. Jeremy Roenick (NHLPA Hockey '93)
3. Michael Vick (Madden '04)
2. Bo Jackson (Tecmo Bowl)
1. Mike Tyson (Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!)

As a gamer, and a avid sports gamer, I can honestly say the top 4 are spot on. Roenick, Vick, Jackson and Tyson are the best video game people I've ever played with or against. The idea of running with Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl is still something i dream about at night.

Reggie Jackson is also perfect. RBI baseball was such a great game, and Reggie Jackson was so dominate, that as a child, i didn't even follow baseball but i knew about Jackson's prowless over RBI baseball.

Barkley, Griffy, Armor, and Elliot, the games sucked so i didn't play em at all.

All in all a good list.

This has TB&TB written all over it

So I know, People have been asking, "Where's that portly, slightly funny fellow big?"

And Despite life getting in the way, I've been in the shadows, watching, waiting, wanting.

So without further adu, here is something the Big and Brown will be competing in next year, and yes, I think we can win it.

I wonder if they used Nolan Ryan's lean beef

So, the Rangers send a message that they're calling it quits this season by trading "Everyday Eddie" Guardado for a hamburger.

Well, maybe Ron Washington was hungry or John Daniels had the munchies. Did they offer to gladly pay for the hamburger Tuesday? (That's a fucking Popeye joke, I spit hot fire!)

Honestly, guys, a hamburger?

I thought that Coors Light commercial was a joke where that guy on the Detroit Lions gets a Lions tattoo and ends up getting traded for a case of Coors? That shit was funny. I never thought it would actually happen.

We traded the only effective bullpen guy and the Rangers current closer for a tasty, grilled entree?

I can't belie---

What's that?

Mark Hamburger, you say?

A 21 year old prospect from Minnesota, huh?

Well, color me embarrassed.

I know what you're thinking, and you'd be wrong.

This is for you Bobby, Christian, and JJ!!

I'm going to touch the Olympics one more time. (Olympics, touch the doll where Brown touched you.) This time, it's nothing about judging or Mongolian China Love. No, this time it's about the Dallas Mavericks.

Huh?

I heard it on the radio this morning, "Jason Kidd won a gold medal, so that means he's still got it!"

*cough*BULLSHIT*cough*

Yes, Jason Kidd was on the USA Basketball team that won a gold medal this year.

Yes, Jason Kidd was on the court for a few minutes.

Jason Kidd provided leadership and experience to a team that didn't need (or want) him on the court, and THAT'S why Jason Kidd has a third gold medal to hit Joumana with.

What does that mean? It means that the Mavericks don't have Chris Paul or Deron Williams running the point, so they're stuck with asking Jason Kidd to play. If the Olympics have taught us anything, it's that Jason Kidd could be Avery Johnson 2.0. He could be the aging point guard who understand the game and has a court vision like very few, and he can teach that to the younger guys and lead a team from the bench.

I'm not saying make Jason Kidd a coach. I'm saying put him in the Avery Johnson or Darrel Armstrong role. The Mavs have nothing at point guard, so they'll need to get someone not name Juan Jose Barea to play.

No more Olympics until Vancouver, where I can bring up how the god damn Canadians are cheating the U.S. out of figure skating medals by placing mounties, moose and elk on the ice and claiming they're 16 year old girls.

Update on that whole subjectivity thing...

So, based on the commentary, a few of you actually decided to read something on this site...for those that didn't, I put up a post regarding subjectivity in the Olympics games.

Well, I was trolling the interwebs and came across the great Yahoo! Olympic blog, Fourth Place Medal

See, Chris Chase is doing a study on how the objective versus the subjective events are turning out, and he's calling it "the Real Medal Count". Essentially, he's removed from the medal totals the events that are completely based on judges scores to determine a winner. Those events are :

• Diving
• Equestrian
• Gymnastics
• Judo
• Synchronized Swimming
• Taekwondo
• Trampoline (an event being chastised on our comment boards)
  
• Wrestling

Anyway, Chase has provided a very intriguing count of medals...

First, the current medal count:

	Gold	Silver	Bronze	Total
China	46	15	22	83
United States	29	34	32	95

Now, the "real" medal count:

	Gold	Silver	Bronze	Total
United States	25	26	25	76
China	23	12	13	48

Hey, the proof's in the pudding, and as my blogging buddy, Big, might say, "god damned, mongolians!"

Awesome job by Chris over at Yahoo!.

No captions, just laughs.

Hat tip: FFFFound!

Hey wait, we grew up watching that station!

If you have paid even scant attention to sports on the internet, then you're aware of Brian Collins, more appropriately, "the boom goes the dynamite guy".

Here's the video to refresh your memory:

Wonderful.

Anyways, seems young Brian has finished his term at Ball State and has found himself working at KXXV in Waco, Texas.

Wait a second, KXXV, Channel 25 in Waco, Texas? You mean the ABC affiliate that broadcasts to the greater Central Texas area? That's right, both mine and Big's hometown, not far from Waco (it's a city commonly known as Assholeofamerica, Texas) , will now be getting a dose of the one and only Brian Collins!

Nope, still not enough to get me to visit my parents.

You'll never be better than Iandoli, buddy, so you might as well find another market.

Separate note, Robert Flores, now of ESPN Sportscenter fame, got his start in the same area on Channel 10, then moved to KEYE in Austin and is now at ESPN. So, you know, Brian does have that one in a million chance.

Think Charles Barkley is an ass hole?

Hat tip: Awful Announcing

Have we got a show for you.

The crown prince of pudge is going to undergo a live colonoscopy on television during a "Stand Up for Cancer" special being simulcast on a few channels.

"Sir Charles, 45, says he was surprised that the show approached him, but was happy to participate in promoting awareness for colonoscopies, which screen for prostate and other cancers.

Barkley said that when he told his friend Fred Lavner, of NB2 Apparel, about being asked to undergo the procedure on television, Lavner replied they were "probably just looking for the celebrity with the biggest ass.""

Celebrity with the biggest ass? Ok, I guess that makes sense.

Here's what I don't understand about the whole cancer screening process...why do men have to go through gay tests?

We get our balls rubbed and asses violated. Really? All the technology in the world, and we're still relegated to a rubber glove with some KY?

Well, what if he wants a good slice of pie?

Reminded me of my boy, Buddy Christ.

Brown goes to the House of Blues to watch...TNA Wrestling?

That's right, you read that title correctly. TNA Wrestling was in town this weekend and put on a little show at the House of Blues. So, El Blogador and I went to check out the scene.

Here's a few notes:

• Booker T rode to the event in a very elaborate RV and parked it in between the House of Blues and Hooters.
  
• Blogador and I ate at the Hooters and had a window staring at Booker T's RV, our main form of enjoyment of was a fat kid in a Kix (the band, not the cereal) t-shirt and a binder waiting for autographs. Blogador and I make a pact stating that if either of us stooped that low, the other would put a bullet in said person's head.
  
• Lots of kids at TNA Wrestling meaning, lots of beaten down parents.
  
• Jeremy Borash might be the gayest man on the planet
  
• Petey Williams's finisher, "the Canadian Destroyer", looks as cool live as it does on television
• Fans of TNA Wrestling apparently have no sense of humor because Blogador and I tried all night to get chants going to make wrestler's laugh. Nothing caught on, but the old black man across the aisle from us couldn't stop laughing.
  
• Blogador and I can get pretty racist without thinking about what we're saying. We both played the "hey, we're minorities too" card and got off scot-free. Take that, whitey!
• Curry Man's dancing is quite infectious. Even we were dancing like jack asses.
  
• I decided, after a few beers, it was the appropriate time to hit on MILFs. Turns out the MILF I chose happened to be the PRESIDENT OF TNA WRESTLING. That's right, of all the people in the building I hit on, it happened to be the president of the promotion.
  
• Biggest laugh from our section: when Awesome Kong came out and Blogador screamed "That's a huge bitch!" at a particularly quiet moment.
  
• TNA Knockout champion, Taylor Wilde = Nastia Liukin with a boob job...right down to the five-head.
  
• Jay Lethal's Macho Man gimmick is more nostalgic in person then it is on television.
• LAX (Latin American eXchange) got the biggest pop of the night. I started a "De-mo-graphics" chant...no one got the joke.
  
• If you saw Samoa Joe at the gym, you might think he just got a membership and it's his first time there and not that this guy is the World Heavyweight Champion. Go figure.
  

So, TNA Wrestling comes on Thursday nights on Spike TV at 8. Check it out, you might recognize some of the older guys that are still wrestling on there.

Why are there subjective events in the Olympics?

If you've been paying attention to the Olympics, which we have in between WWE pay-per-views and Cowboy preseason games, then you might have noticed some fairly eyebrow raising judging inconsistencies in the "subjective" events like gymnastics and diving.

So, what's the deal? Is it anti-American bias? Is it Americans being sore losers? Is there some kind of Chinese political appeasement going on?

The only redeeming quality of Brown University

To be honest, I haven't the slightest fucking clue. I just go by what I see. For example, The Big and The Brown's favorite sexy gymnast, Alicia Sacramone, seemingly got screwed out of medaling last night in the women's vault competition. The Chinese girl, Cheng Fei, fell on her knees while landing, and Sacramone landed on her feet. Yet, somehow, China was awarded the bronze medal and Sacramone got fourth place. Interesting.

The one on the left? 18. The other two? 16. Riiight.

Case two, The Big and The Brown's favorite local gymnast, Nastia Liukin, was seemingly screwed out of a gold medal in the uneven bars last night. A TIED score with the Chinese gymnast, He Xexin (the one in the middle that was 13 about 9 months ago, but is 16 now). She TIED the score, but through some kind of weird tiebreaker system, He Xexin got the gold and Liukin got the silver. In the objective events (track, swimming, etc.) ties are allowed. In fact, Jason Lezak tied with some Brazilian swimmer for bronze because they posted the same finishing time in the 100 Freestyle.

Nastia Liukin took the high road, even though in the picture she's about to release her inner Texan and whoop some little kid's ass.

"It’s nothing I can control, and honestly, I can say it has been very fair to me, and I got the biggest gold medal of them all," said Liukin, winner of the women’s all-around gymnastics gold."

So, what's the deal with the subjective sports? Is it really a good thing to inject subjectivity into sporting events? I'm pretty sure the original Olympics only consisted of measurable and quantifiable results...you know, someone wins a wrestling match, someone runs faster than someone else, someone throws a rock further than someone else. Now with technology, it's that much easier to determine if someone touches a wall one one-hundreth of a second faster than someone else. No subjectivity.

Is it sour grapes to look at the cases of total subjectivity and say that the host country, which has been coming into question left and right, could be pressuring the human element of the judging to edge competition out, regardless of that competition's country? I dunno. It just appears that the Chinese team is sweeping a lot of the subjective events and losing a lot of the objective and quantifiable events.

I dunno, but I don't think anyone will listen to objective reasoning within the context of this argument. If you think America lost a subjective event because of a controversy, it's just sour grapes. If you think America won a subjective event fairly, then it's a double standard.

DAVE!

This is why I prefer pro wrestling. At least the results are known ahead of time and cheating is expected. Way to go, Dave.

Olympics, Week one in Pics

We So Happy for Olrimpics!

"When I'm 15 I hope I have boobs like you. HEHEHEHE!"

More Like BrASSil! Who's With Me!

"Hey Bron Bron, Look at that White Girl!"

"Yea, She is Bangin'"

Bush: "So That's how you Pop Drop and Lock it"

or from Nayfa

"No Mr. President, you light the match, then I fart."

"That's a Fully Man! A Fully!"

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

The Big and The Brown Water Polo Team

Big's getting into the pool and I'm sitting on the bench

Looking for a Fantasy Stud?

Then may I introduce you to Fantasy Files, from NFL.com.

Chris Chambers



Chris Cooley



Laurence Maroney



Mason Crosby



There you go. Big ups to Mighty MJD for pointing these out.

Dallas's quarterback's girlfriend's mental ability is rubbing off on him

Hat tip: 700 Level via Deadspin

Anyone remember that scene from "Species"?

Seems the Dallas Cowboys's quarterback either doesn't pay attention to anything, revels a little too much in his celebrity, or spends too long dreaming of his brainless yet top-heavy body.

He was signing a few autographs for people, gets handed a helmet and signs it. Turns out the helmet was his own helmet and the equipment manager was giving it to him because practice was starting up.

When Wade Phillips found out, he just mumbled something intelligible about "dogs" and walked away scratching his forehead.

To keep with my theme today, "Tubthumper"

My favorite part of the Olympics so far...

I haven't made any bones about it, I'm hooked on the Olympics this year. I've never been hooked on them before, but I am this time around.

That being said, I was watching the women's team gymnastics final yesterday and was trading texts with Big and with Bear who were also watching it, and...wow, that didn't seem as gay until I typed it and re-read it. In all fairness, most the commentary was on Alicia Sacramone's fine ass...but I digress.

My favorite part of the Olympics so far? Bela Karoyli.

If there ever was a Eastern European, Gymnastics version of Gus Johnson, it's him.

So far, he's gone ape shit during Nastia Liukin's performance, he accused the judges of cheating and having an anti-American bias, he's accused the Chinese team of having a team full of girls who are too young for the Olympics (you have to be at least turning 16 in 2008), and, in general, he's so pumped about gymnastics and his accent, you can barely understand him!

Oh yeah, the only thing that comes to mind when I hear or see this guy....

Lugash.

By the way, I'm having a lot of trouble finding videos this morning, so I'm just going to leave you with "Return of the Mack"

Pain = Funny

I'm so glade everyone is wrapped up in Olympic Fever. All the same guys who poked fun at me because its one of my favorite sporting events are now calling me with stuff like "did you see Phelps! That kid is bad ass!"

Welcome.

Ohh and this is stolen from UniTQM. And if its on his site, you know its good.

Its Madden Day! HAZAHH!

These new graphics are AWESOME!

Yup, Madden09 comes out today. I will be getting my copy during lunch, and then staring at it the rest of the work day, waiting, wishing, wanting.

I'm not all that excited about the "improvements" on this years game, but i will buy it anyway.

What Improvements you may ask? Well the big one this season is the computers ability to match your style and skill level of play. Will it make game more competitive? Sure. But when I'm the greatest team ever assembled, the 08 Dallas Cowboys, and I'm playing the likes of the 08 Atlanta Falcons, I want to score 400 points.

To celebrate this day I bring you the Top 25 QB's in Madden History, brought to you from IGN.

Hint: if you can't guess the top "dog," your not a Madden player.

Double Secret Hint: the there is a hint inside the hint that's playing a hint.

Today is shaping up to be one of those kinds of days...

How Brown feels today

You know those days where the second you wake up, you immediately know it's a better idea to hide under the covers and just wait for tomorrow?

Yup, one of those days.

I'm calling it quits at 11 am, maybe you'll hear from Big.

Video Post!

Ahh yes, a wrestling video.

Courtesy of Hot Clicks, the top 30 wrestling finishers of all time.

Dave made the list. Way to go, Dave.

Do you like Lower Greenville?

Well, if you like the neighborhood aspects of Lower Greenville in Dallas, but you aren't a particular fan of the rabble rousing and late night visitors, then you might enjoy this web site.

From what I gather, it's a guy who lives down in Lower Greenville and utilizes his trusty video camera and YouTube to not only report the news of Lower Greenville, but to show some of the stuff that happens after 2 AM.

As Wilonsky puts it, Adelman is basically creating a nice wild life documentary on the streets of Lower Greenville.

A little racist with the use of the term "gangbanger"? Maybe, but with the evidence provided, maybe not that far from the truth.

Just a nifty little website if you're a Dallas-ite...or if you like to affirm to yourself that maybe Lower Greenville at night ain't that great. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

"OH MY GOD THE WATER'S SO COLD!!"

Your Monday Morning MMA

Yes, He's Canadian

So Saturday night was another big UFC PPV, and yes, it was another fantastic show that keeps MMA head and shoulders above boxing.

UFC 87 was billed as one of the deepest cards in recent history, as 3 fights were on the card that could be considered main event level matches, and all three went the distance.

The first of which was Kenny Florian and Roger Huerta, which saw KenFlow take it to the SI cover boy and win decidedly in by decision. I didn't get to really watch this fight as much as the others because of a the distance I was from the TV at the bar I watched it from.

As my party got smaller at the bar, me and bizzle decide to get closer for the other two fights, and found a table much better suited for watching the fights.

After a couple of fights from people i didn't know very well, both knockouts, both entertaining, the "double main event" was ready to get rolling.

As a fan of WWE, and well pro wrestling in general, I was skeptical when I heard former WWE champ Brock Lesner was going to become a MMA fighter, but I was intrigued. His first fight saw him come out of the gate swinging, and then punching on his opponent and pummeling him with his brick like fists, but one of his shots landed on the back of the head, and the ref stood the fighters up to dock Lesner a point, and then the savvy vet Frank Mir caught the big guy in a ankle lock.
While the end result may have been what most MMA experts thought would happen, Lesner getting submitted, even the most hardcore MMA guys thought Lesner looked good in his opening fight till he was docked that point.

That brought us to last Saturday, where Lesner got his second chance in the UFC, and needed to win to continue to be a big draw. And win he did. In the first 30 seconds or so his fight with Heath Herring, Lesner Landed a straight right square on Herring's cheeking, sending his flying backward about 20 feet. It was almost like a cartoon punch. Lesner swung, connected, and Herring was sent flying over backward. To Herring credit, he recovered quickly, and avoided a knockout, but Lesner continued to pound on the guy over and over, using his 15 pound weight advantage to smother Herring on the ground for the better part of the three rounds.

Lesner still has a long way to go, but he won this fight, and looked good doing it.

Then it was time for the real main event, George St. Perrie vs. Jon Fitch, for the welterweight championship strap. GSP is thought of as one of the best fighters in the world, of any weight class, and against of the hottest MMA stars today (Fitch had won 8 or 9 straight UFC fights) GSP proved all the experts right. From the opening bell, GSP dominated this fight. He knocked Fitch around early, and then took him to the ground for some classic GSP ground work. After the first round was over, Fitch was bloodied and GSP didn't even look tired.

Despite the lopsided decision, 50-43, 50-44, 50-44, for GSP, i will say this for John Fitch, the guy can take a punch. 4 or 5 times during that fight, GSP connected with fantastic shots that should have ended the fight, but every time Fitch would recover and continue.

Overall it was one of the better Cards that I've seen in awhile, but not the best. Look forward to Liddel/Evans next month.

I am Totally Pumped for the Olympics

Normally, the Olympics are Big's thing, and I mock him for it because it's my hobby.

However, I'm totally hooked.

I've watched nothing but Olympic coverage all weekend and I've found myself clapping and screaming like a jack ass for the American team.

USA over China? Awesometown.

Alicia Sacramone and the rest of the women's gymnastics team that isn't legal? Hell yes.

The Brown guy on the men's gymnastics team? Way to represent, home skillet.

Misty May Treanor and Kerri Walsh? Fuck and yes.

Phelps and the bad ass 400 relay team that stuck it to Frenchie? Cook me a bald eagle omelette because I love America.

This is kicking ass and its only day 3. My TiVO is locked and loaded.

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

"Mark Buehrle hands the ball to Ken Griffey Jr."

How long before the Mavericks are playing in Paris?

Well, I've been paying attention to the exodus of NBA players to Europe, but nothing short of the Childress move and Brandon Jennings shunning college has really raised my eyebrows. A bunch of mid-level guys who are either past their prime or guys who wouldn't really get a chance to see much time on an NBA court, taking the money grab to re-establish their careers in Europe.

But now it's hit the Mavericks. 2008 Draft pick, Shan Foster, has decided to go and play in Europe and will not be on the Mavericks roster this season.

Couple that with the fact that both LeBron and Kobe have said that for the right price, $50 million, they'll go to Europe. Here's the deal: that is very possible.

The maximum contract, I believe, an NBA player can be offered state side is $20 million a year. Before taxes. There's no such capping in the European leagues.

The Euro...The world's highest single population of millionaires? Moscow because of oil. Athens because of shipping. These magnates can offer LeBron a tax-free $50 million a year. Why? Not being American citizens, they can say that they'll pick up the taxes, so the $50 million is an after tax number. All together, the contract would be something like $70 million a year, which is maybe 40 Million Euro. (I can't guarantee that.)

The Player...Really, are you going to tell me that if someone said that you had a chance to pocket $100 million after taxes to go overseas for 2 years and play basketball, you're going to say no? Couple that with the chance to globalize your brand (if you're LeBron or Kobe) or to have a fully dedicated fan base (Melo) and why not jump at the chance?

The NBA...Stern's got a problem and it's of his own creation. David Stern has pushed for the globalization of basketball forever. It's right up there with the WNBA as pet projects. Now this one has come back to bite him in the ass. What's he going to do when the NBA becomes what the college game has become, irrelevant, because all the best players are going elsewhere for money? Are we going to see an NBA European divison?

Keep an eye on things because the global market complicated an already crazy problem.

So, now that it's over, who's been ruined?

We've all had that one morning where we woke up and looked next to us and realized exactly how bad a decision it was to bring that girl home from the bar. She might have been your ex, she might have been someone else's ex, she might be a known crack whore, whatever. (I've already gotten lost in this metaphor.)

Anyway, after you finally convince this girl to leave, you close your front door and think who should be blamed here? Do you blame yourself because you finally ended up bringing her home? Do you blame her for using her feminine willies to get you to take her home? Do you blame your buddies for not stopping you? On that tip, who's reputation gets hit here? Your's for screwing a whore? The whore for being a whore? Your buddies' for not stopping you from screwing the whore?

Well, now that the soap opera in Wisconsin is over, who's reputation is affected most?

The Green Bay front office? Green Bay Packer fans? Brett Favre? Bus Cook? ESPN? Aaron Rodgers? J-Bizzle? All of the above?

I'm not going to break all of these down because I think everyone might be to blame and everyone's reputation has taken a hit.

If I had to point one finger, I'd point it at ESPN. Overblowing a story and dedicating 60 entire minutes to the tip of the iceberg of a story is what made things worse for all the parties involved.

Maybe that's why it took a single reporter from Fox Sports to break the trade story as opposed to the army of reporters that ESPN sent.

I wonder where we'd be without Jay Glazer.

I'm a half-day late on this, but your PGA Championship pick

Okay, I know the tournament started this morning, and I'm late on this, but it's only Thursday, so things can change.

Which tournament? Come on, the final major of the year, the PGA Championship.

A long time ago, the PGA was a match play tourney, making it unique along with the other majors: The Masters is played at Augusta every year, The U.S. Open is notoriously difficult, and The British Open is played on a links course. The PGA was fun to watch, and now the chase for the Wannamaker is just another nice tournament with the top guys.

The course: Oakland Hills. A "shot maker's course" in that every hole is different and a player would need to use every club in their bag. From what I read, behind Augusta and a few other main courses, Oakland Hills has stupidly hard greens.

The Big and the Brown pick?

PHILBERT!!!!

Why? Because I'm lazy and feel like with losing weight and Tiger, maybe he's due.

"A-Rod" is a cursed nickname

Ahh yes, thanks to Jennifer Lopez in the early 00's, we were introduced to the concept of the "first letter of the first name + first syllable of the last name" nickname format.

That led to Alex Rodriguez becoming "A-Rod".

Well, it seems that the nickname could be cursed. Let's do a three case study...

Alex "A-Rod" Rodriguez

Prior to nickname

• Best young baseball player in the league
• Lit up the place in Seattle with Junior and the Big Unit taking a majority of the spotlight

After the nickname

• Sign the biggest contract in the history of sports
• Become a media machine
• Hated by every fan base you've ever played for
• Get caught with muscle bound strippers
• Get divorced by wife for practicing Kaballah with skeleton lady. (By the way, people, it's not 1986 anymore. Madonna is neither hot nor relevant. Let's cut that shit out.)
  

Aaron "A-Rod" Rodgers

Prior to nickname

• Believed to be the most pro-ready Tedford quarterback ever
• Defeated the mighty USC Trojans in overtime, proving "they're not a machine!"
• Highly touted draft pick

After the nickname

• Drop to the end of the first round
• Become the heir apparent to Brett Favre
• Alienate fan base by claiming you can't wait for the old man to retire
• Old man retires, then you tell everyone to get over it
• Old man attempts comeback and you become the most hated player in your fan base
• Old man is traded, you're still the most hated man on your team
• Often mistaken for Scott Stapp

Andy "A-Rod" Roddick

Prior to nickname

• Hottest young tennis star to arrive on US scene
• Destined to be the heir apparent to US tennis's stars, Sampras and Agassi
• Fastest serve on the tour and history (clocked at 155 mph)
  
• World's number one player
• Win the 2003 U. S. Open
• Win the Davis Cup

After the nickname

• Second American mentioned behind James Blake (who hasn't done shit either)
• Can't get past the current kings of the court, Nadal and Federer
• Hire Jimmy Connors to coach you. Fire Jimmy Connors from coaching you.
• Turn down representing country in Olympics to refocus on grand slams
• Can't get past the third round of shit anymore
• Blame sleeping posture for injuries and poor performance

In conclusion, if you're first name starts with an "A" and the first syllable of your last name is "Rod", for god's sake NEVER TAKE THE NICKNAME "A-ROD".

Note: I don't think anyone but Rodriguez is officially nicknamed "A-Rod"

Hey, the Olympics start tomorrow

Hat tip: Fan House

So, the Summer Olympics start tomorrow. You know? Big deal, every 4 years, whole world competes? Well, USA Basketball, for a long time was the shit. Now, with the globalization of the sport and success of other countries, Team USA is another cog in the machine. A favorite, no less, but still a cog in the machine.

Well, courtesy of Nike Basketball, allow the soothing sounds of Marvin Gaye singing our nation anthem get you ready for the Olympics.

Bring it on, world.

If that video doesn't do it for you, how about Dallas's own Dirk Nowitzki sporting the early 1990's hair do...

I can't take it anymore, I must say it,

Douche-la-rough

Bret Favre is a gigantic douche.

I once liked this guy. His style of play was entertaining, his team was historic, and he always looked like he was having a good time.

Now, I can't stand him. His ego has lead the Packers on a wild goose chase over the past 3 years as to whether or not he was going to retire. Finally, the packers said enough is enough, and they were ready to move on when Favre said himself "I'm done."

Now he's back and the only team that he really wants to play for isn't the Packers, its their bitter Rival, the Minnesota Vikings.

How can anybody be OK with this? Packer fans? He's wants to leave for Minn. Viking fans? He's been beating your ass for over a decade. How can you root for him?

I hope the guys falls on his face. And wins 3 games in Minn this season.

For completely different reasons as he did several years ago, Brett Favre is once again making me a bigger Packers fan, I want to see them roll over Captain Ego and his smugness.

Batman fan? Hate the Spurs? Check it...

Hat tip: The Sporting News Blog

The Joker's henchmen do us all a favor and get rid of Crash Bandicoot...I mean the Spurs mascot.

Anyone remember Crash Bandicoot?

As a Mavs fan, this scares me

I've mentioned several times before that the Western Conference is getting younger and better every year. New Orleans, Portland, Golden State are all teams that are joining the usual suspects in the fray to make a legitimate run at the title.

I've also mentioned several times that the Mavericks have done nothing to address the issues that they lack against this growing Western Conference competition.

Now I read this entry over at TrueHoop

Abbot is relaying some news about Greg Oden and how he's getting ready for the season after having microfracture surgery last year.

Much has been made of the muscle Oden has added to his frame -- his current weight is something of a secret -- but there is all kinds of evidence that he will enter the NBA as one of the biggest, heaviest, and strongest players in the League.

I believe every word of it.

The Mavs have Damp and Diop. These guys are already schooled by the rest of the West, and now they have to contend with Oden, who might be the baddest mother fucker since Shaq in Orlando.

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

"My favorite quarterback: Danny WHOOO!-rful"

Why the Summer Olympics make me feel gay

So, the Olympics begin on Friday. Did you know that?

Barry Horn of our very own Dallas Morning News has compiled a "what to watch" list for the big event.

I'm looking at the list and making mental notes on what events I kind of want to watch, and I realized just how uncomfortable it makes me.

See, outside of basketball, the two sets of events that I find myself enthralled in are, diving and gymnastics.

What. The. Fuck.

Can you justify watching gymnastics by saying it's the girls? Not unless you want a visit from Chris Hansen you don't.

Can you justify diving by saying you're secretly hoping for a Louganis-esque accident to occur? Maybe.

I dunno, either way, it's kind of uncomfortable. Thank goodness for the NFL preseason.

What to do with the Rangers catching situation?

So, the our peppy little bunch of baseball players in Arlington have themselves a nice little problem. A whole bunch of guys who play catcher really well, and no one knows who to annoint the current guy, the backup guy, and the "next guy".

Let's break down the main guys in the discussion...



Gerald Laird

The current starter. Laird took over the job from Rod Barajas in 2007 after being the backup in 2006. Laird hasn't exactly been hitting the shit out of the ball, though his 2 HR night did win it for the Rangers yetserday, and he's not the world's greatest defensive backstop either. However, he hasn't really been challenged by the three names below. However, Laird is not to be stolen on, as his arm guns down damn near everyone who tries. Laird is currently coveted by the rest of fucking Major League Baseball.



Jarrod Saltalamacchia

Salty will forever be linked in Ranger lore as "the guy we got for Tex". In fact, now with Tex on the Angels, let's see if that conversation at the plate ever happens. Interesting about Salty is that he's also a first basemen. Problem is, Chris Davis has been kicking ass, Salty may not be at home their either (and he has said he's much more interested in catching). Salty's been the backup for Laird this season, and has become more comfortable at the plate, though his batting average isn't blowing anyone's skirt up. Salty could be the guy for the future, but he needs the time to dig in and get used to things. Seems every time he gets in, Laird comes back and Salty is back on the bench. Terrible defense, but fiery bat.



Max Ramirez

Might be having the best season of his young career this year. Ramirez is young, so he's thought to be in the "catcher of the future" mold, but people think with the way he's been playing, he might be ready for today. Ramirez's bat is pretty attractive, and his defense is so-so. So he's a lot more of a guy who could also DH and provide value to the team.



Taylor Teagarden

Has been in the system longer than Ramirez, but he got jumped. Also, more of a defensive catcher that tends to work with his pitchers a bit better. Teagarden is also considered to be one of the "catchers of the future", but in his stance, he could be the every day guy. Teagarden is showing his ability to be a defensive mastermind, and I'd bet Jaramillo could work on his bat.


Program Alert: Erin Andrews is going to be in Arlington on Wednesday to cover the Rangers and Yankees. Oh yeah, so will A-Rod, Pudge and the rest of the Yankees.

Side note: What's a safer bet: Big can spell "Saltalamacchia" without any help or Big solves the mystery of cold fusion?

Interesting concept Cuban, don't forget you own a basketball team as well

If you didn't know, Dallas's favorite shark toothed wunderkind is attempting to buy the Chicago Cubs...for $1.3 billion.

First of all, there is no way in hell that Bud Selig and the MLB owners are going to allow a guy like Cuban to enter their midst. It would make too much sense.

What I found interesting was this quote from Cuban:

“I think the owner of any major sports franchise has two jobs: first, it’s to work hard to win a championship year after year, and second, to be the caretaker of the franchise in the community.”

Totally agree, Mark, but here's the question: What about your fucking basketball team?

I've made no bones about it, I like Mark Cuban as an owner, and I think the Mavericks and Maverick fans are damn lucky to have him. But the past few offseasons are killing me.

Are you really going to tell me that you're working hard to get back to the Finals and win now? Gerald Green and DeSagana Diop are supposed to make me feel better? Rick Carlisle is the main cog of the machine to contend in a ridiculously stacked Western Conference?

Do me a favor, publicly blame Donnie Nelson. That'd make me feel better for sure.

Forget "Homerism", I'm talking about "Brohm-erism"

Oh, you didn't think coming here would protect your from Favre-gate 2008, did you?

No, I'm not going to go into anything you can read anywhere else, because I'm about ask tired of it as anyone else is.

However, do you realize he turned down $20-$25 million to just sit on his ass and do nothing? I don't care how much you "love the game", that much money would convince me to do nothing all day.

At this point, I'm going to start the "Start Brian Brohm" movement. I'm tired of Favre. I'm tired of Rodgers, show me Brohm. They can even re-introduce the Cadillac model and he can shill it.

By the way, is anyone else really creeped out by Deanna Favre?

Looks like one of our commenters went to the U.S. Senior Open

I got this email from Nasty (a buddy of ours, not the sports radio guy in Baltimore) this morning mentioning this story.

I was a little confused because of all the people to send us a story celebrating the merits of Argentinian golf, Nasty would be last on that list. I figured there had to be more, and I found this story.

Right after Hale Irwin missed a par putt on the 12th hole, the bear darted across the fairway of The Broadmoor Golf Course during the PGA's US Senior Open's second round which was being televised live on national TV.

The bear stopped to sniff a few items left by fans. No injuries were reported.

Ahh, seems our friend, Bear, made a trek out to Colorado and played some golf. Knowing him, his drives all hooked right and he started drinking on the second hole.