Now THIS should get you kicked off the team for a game or two

No lie, Title of this pick, Puck Off
giggle

Brown didn't think Sean Avery's little "sloppy seconds thing" was that bad, more just kinda funny. (i agree by the way)

Well how about this.

""....Griffith insisted to me that while she taunted Avery, she never used foul language. So what was Avery's response? According to Griffith, Avery said, "You're nothing but an old f**king c*nt, I wouldn't even c*m in your face." After which he sprayed her with his water bottle. It was after that the refs assessed Avery a second game misconduct, and Griffith is pretty much convinced Avery's reaction to the confrontation with her was the reason."

Griffith is a 60 year old woman.

Greatness.

This might be too much of a throw back, but can we call this getting "Dice Clayed"? When someone say something funny, but its crazy offensive? Ahh go fuck yourself, you fucking douchebag.

Little miss Muffet....

HT NFL Fanhouse via Deadspin

Things Big Hates - A New Thread

Jews

I'm kidding, I poke fun because i'm German, and I have a Jew Fro, and not a small nose. Its a juxtaposition i live with every day.

I consider myself a bit of an optimist. I try and always look on the brighter side of life, a real glass half full kind of guy right?

Well, despite my best efforts, there are things in this world that rub me the wrong way. I'm not talking about everyday things, like stupid fucking drivers who think they are kings of the road, and will speed past you on an on ramp while your in traffic, and wait till the last second to merge into the highway, only to get pissed off that somebody isn't letting them in right away.

No. I'm talking about things that probably shouldn't make me mad. Things like the song "Blister in the Sun." I would gladly give 3 days of the end of my life to never have to hear that piece of shit song ever again in my life. I don't know why I don't like it, I just do. And I swear to the good lord if you write lyrics to that song in the comments, I'm going to make it a personal mission to make you my bitch on this blog. You have been warned.

So with all that as background, let me introduce you to the first in what may become a lengthily list of things I hate, People who EBay their Fandome.

So let me get this straight, you have been a die hard fan of a certain team, in this case, the Bengals, and when things get shitty, or in your case, stay shitty, then you ask people to bid on you, so you can have a better team to root for.

I don't care that this particular case is for charity. If you are asking me to pay for your allegiance, then you are nothing better than a mercenary sports fan. And I don't like you.

I understand that if you are getting into a sport that you weren't ever into, say Euro Soccer, and you have no tie to city, player, nation, or even color choice, that you would want someone to help you pick a decent team to watch, so you can enjoy yourself. A quote from the EBay:

"I AM doing this because I have given up all hope. I want to know what it's like to be a fan of a team who has an owner and front office that cares about its team and the people who support his team"

We have name for people who are like this, BandWagoners. They are quick to jump on a winning band wagon just so they can be "cool" and like the "hip" team. Hell look how many Boston Red Socks hat's you see at any give mall. Next time you see one of those guys, go ask them who plays third base for Boston, and i guarantee that over half of them will say "Big Papi?"

Your a douche and I hate you.

I can't take it anymore, I must say it,

Douche-la-rough

Bret Favre is a gigantic douche.

I once liked this guy. His style of play was entertaining, his team was historic, and he always looked like he was having a good time.

Now, I can't stand him. His ego has lead the Packers on a wild goose chase over the past 3 years as to whether or not he was going to retire. Finally, the packers said enough is enough, and they were ready to move on when Favre said himself "I'm done."

Now he's back and the only team that he really wants to play for isn't the Packers, its their bitter Rival, the Minnesota Vikings.

How can anybody be OK with this? Packer fans? He's wants to leave for Minn. Viking fans? He's been beating your ass for over a decade. How can you root for him?

I hope the guys falls on his face. And wins 3 games in Minn this season.

For completely different reasons as he did several years ago, Brett Favre is once again making me a bigger Packers fan, I want to see them roll over Captain Ego and his smugness.

Count the Douchebag-ism

Here is a email from a friend of TB&TB. See if you can count and list all of the Douche bag-ism in it.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to feed my iguana before I run to the gym
for my legs day so I can work on my quads and listen to Randy Travis’ album
(which is totally sick, by the way) that just dropped on my iPod via my
DJ-sized, noise-canceling headphones and then help Susie out with her form
during her squats, followed by my Starbucks fix whilst I talk to Gruber on my
Bluetooth earpiece and wave on the guy on my right who clearly stopped after I
did. Then I need to stop at the ATM and pick up some coin for GNO at OTB
where I’ll order some pollo flautas, after which I’ll have to hurry up to Andy’s on the Square to show off my new going-out shirt, get my hand stamped and see
the opening band. It’s gonna be a fun night!

Cheers!

Here, I'll start with my fav. "pick up some coin" only douche bags say coin.

Also it would have been even nicer if he used the phrase "toothin" when talking about his blue tooth.

(it was J-Bizzle)

(don't act like your not surprised)

(he was totally kidding when he wrote it, he's not that much of a d-bag)

(or is he......?)

Oh Bobby, and the grass is always greener

Over the past week, we have had several things go down since I last wrote this article about all the college coaching changes in college football, culminating in the big nasty news last night that Bobby Petrino quite during his first year as head coach of the Atlanta Falcons to become the head coach at Arkansas. I would like to thank The Big Lead for the linking our little blog site last week.

Before we get to the douche that is Petrino, lets talk about some of the other places that got their coach, or haven't.

Georgia Tech - A reader named Richard K, who has to be a Georgia Tech supporter, made some great points on why they needed to fire Chan Gailey. While I am of the the old school way of thinking in that unless a coach rocks several bad seasons in a row, you might want to stay with him awhile. That said, they went out and got one hell of a college coach, Paul Johnson. Johnson has been the coach of the Navy Midshipmen for the past 6 years, and really turned that program around. Johnson was also courted by SMU and Duke. This is good news for you Yellow Jacket fans, especially if you like to watch a team run the ball about 80% of the time.

Washington State - Enter Paul Wulff. Well, I said they needed to go get a young up and coming coach, and that's what they did. Wulff is 40, and has been coaching the Eastern Washington near by. He is a State guy who wants to "make Wassu the team in Washington," and that he "hates purple." Right on.

Michigan - Despite his best efforts, Les Miles is still being linked to this job, and you know what, I still say he gets it.

UCLA - Nobody has been named yet, so their is still hope for Mike Leech. I am crossing my fingers for this to happen for the simple fact that I can make fun of all my Texas Tech friends.

Arkansas - And on to the big news of the week. Former coach of the Louisville Cardinals, and as of yesterday Head Coach of the Atlanta Falcons Bobby Petrino has been named coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks. Now unless your in Fayettville, either in body or mind, this has got to be looked at as a dick move. But before I get into that, lets look at how this guy stacks up for the hogs.

From 03-06 he was the Head Coach of Louisville, where his offense was great. He lead the team to multiply bowl games and helped them get respect, and helped them get into the Big East. He coached under Tommy Tubberville at Auburn as his OC in 02, and has some NFL experience as a QB coach, and OC with Jacksonville, 99-00, and 01 respectively. And of course 13 games as the Falcons head coach this year. I have no problem with coaches trying the NFL and then either not digging it, or not being dedicated enough to make it work. Ball Coach, Butch Davis, the list goes on. Its cool.

What I don't like about this move is when it went down. Petrino coached his Falcons team Monday, told his players "I'll see ya Wednesday," and then took the Arkansas job Tuesday. Douche. I know his players did really care for him, they thought he treated his plays like kids, but still. You took a job so at least go 3 more weeks. This is a guy hasn't been at one job for more than 4 years. So if he does just a decent job, don't be surprised if some bigger college program needs a coach, he will leave in a heart beat.

By the way Pat Forde hates this guy. Read his bashing here

There is still some stuff to roll out about all these guys, but the pic is getting clearer.