Fantasy Football. Help me understand it.

Unlike what my portly blogger friend told you, I don’t feel like I’m better than people who play fantasy football, and I don’t feel like it’s below me.

I just don’t get the fascination.  I mean it.  Everyone I know, damn near everyone I know, follows/plays fantasy football like it is their job/career/life.  Shit, even FX is putting a show together that is wholly based around the concept of guys playing fantasy football.  Part of the Sunday Ticket package is to follow “your players’” statistics. It’s literally, I’d say, as big as the game itself now.

That’s fine, I don’t have a problem with it.  It doesn’t get in the way of my watching football, and it usually leads to some pretty entertaining (yet petty) arguments among my friends that I get to watch from the stands.  However, I just don’t see the appeal.  In my mind, and I swear to God, I don’t mean this in a demeaning way, it’s like Dungeons and Dragons.  A bunch of guys create a fantasy scenario where they "own people” and based on stats of events outside of one’s direct control, the game is played out.

Being so disconnected from fantasy sports, I really have some questions that I’d like answered.  Again, this isn’t to demean anyone who plays fantasy football (everyone), this is really just for me to try and understand why it’s so popular.

Brooks over at SBB has put something similar up, so I’m just going to borrow his questionnaire.

• Why do you play fantasy sports?
• To keep up with my favorite players
• To stay close with distant friends
• To make money
• Everyone else does it
• Other
• How has fantasy football affected your relationship with your significant other?
• No change
• Helped
• Damaged
• Not applicable
• How has fantasy sports affected your relationship with your favorite teams?
• Added to my love for my favorite team
• Diminished my love for my favorite team
• No change
• I’m a bandwagon fan, so it doesn’t matter
• Has fantasy football been good for the NFL?
• Yes, it has increased interest
• No, it’s just perverted fan allegiances
• No change
• Fantasy football _____
• is here to stay, so you might as well get on board
• is a fad, and isn’t going to last forever
• isn’t for everyone

Unlike what you might normally think I’d do, I’m not looking to shit on fantasy football because it’s popular…like I do with Twitter and music.   I agree with Brooks in that I think it’s gotten big not because of people, but because the media embraced it…like betting lines or anal.

By the way, just answer the questions or share a quick comment or two, don’t write a fucking essay response like I’ve asked you about you thoughts on the political climate of the United States. (Yes, Bear, I’m looking at your long winded ass)

Bigs Fantasy Football Preview

Depending on who you are, and what kind of "fan" you are, Fantasy Football is either the greatest or the worst thing that has ever happened to watching the NFL. It either gives you a legit reason to care about almost every game on Sunday, or it makes you a head hunter, caring only about player that you have on your team, and not the real NFL team your watching.

Brown is one of the later guys who thinks fantasy sports is below him, and I'm one of the smucks who play in about 10 fantasy leagues every year. Its what you love about us, the hatered that boils right below the surface, after all, Indians are the new Jews.

Anyway, I consider myself a strong to quite strong fantasy footballer. I'm not going to say I'm the best, but last year I did win enough money to buy a new big screen TV from fantasy. I've already had one of my drafts this year (the one I care most about), and I have another tonight, and another sometime early next week, so i don't think I will be giving away to much of my strategy with this Fantasy Football Preview.

I will give you three categories, and a couple of tips at the end. The first categories is guys you want on your team, and I'll give you three types, A sure thing first rounder, a slight sleeper, and a super sleeper, for each position that matters.

Guys You Want.

Stud
QB - Aaron Rodgers Green Bay. - Outside of Brady, Rodgers is my number 2 QB tied with Brees. He was the 3rd best scorer in all of fantasy last year, and he lost nothing around him. His 2nd year as the starter will give him more confidence, and the defense is getting there to help Green Bay win some games this year.

Sleeper
Matt Hasselbeck - He is healthy for the first time in a couple of years, and more importantly, so is his receivers. The addition of T.J. Houshmandzadeh, who had over 90 catches last year (with no Carson Palmer btw), will give Seattle one hell of wr corp.

Super Sleeper
Marc Bulger STL - This guy was in the top 4 or QB just a few short years ago. His O line has to be better this year than last, and he has some speedy WR's to throw the ball to. I wouldn't suggest you drafting Bulger as your number 1, but he is worth a look in the late late rounds to take a flyer on.

RB
Stud - Matt Forte Chi - If your in a PPR league, Forte might be worth taking over AD, all other leagues he needs to be at worst the 4th player taken. He has a good offense that is conducive to running the ball, and with defenses having to respect Cutler as a QB way more than they did the Neck Beard, his running lanes will be even more open.

Sleeper - Ray Rice Bal - I don't really like to look to hard at pre season numbers, but Rice played in half a game last week and had over 100 combined rushing and receiving yards. Salty is an understatement. Rice is falling because a big name, Willis McGahee, is still on this team, but the number of carries that Rice gets will far overshadow Mr. Monkey Knee. IF you can get Rice as a 2 or a even a three, you will be happy at the end of year.

Super Sleeper - LeSean McCoy Phi - Here is a rookie, who has alot of talent, yet not alot of reps at the moment. The reason is he is behind Brian Westbrook, one of the best backs in all of football. Good news, Westbrook will get hurt at some point, and McCoy will play well when he does. So, if you draft Westbrook, you have his handcuff, if you don't, when westbrook goes down, you now have something that can help your team in a number of ways, with either playing time, or trade bait.

WR

Stud
Andre Johnson Randy Moss Calvin Johnson Larry Fitzgerald - Any 4 of those guys are worth a late first round early 2nd. Crap shoot.

Sleeper - Chad Ochocinco Cin - He is healthy, he is focused, he is the clear number one at the Bengels, and most important, Carson Palmer is healthy too.

Super Sleeper - Nate Washington Ten - Here is a guy you can grab at the end of most drafts that I beleive will be a solid performer this season. He comes over from Pit last season, where he was the number three WR behind Santonio Holms and Hines Ward, but he is now the best WR that Tenn has. Tenn has to play a division winning schedule this year, and if you think teams wont be keying on Chris Johnson and LenDale White, your wrong. With that said, Kerry Collins will have to pass more, leaving his best WR Washington, with the potential to have a great year. The reason this guy is falling in drafts is because he is hurt right now, and might miss a few regular season games due to his hamstring injury. While that is bad news, if you draft him late and stick on the end of your bench, you might just find a quality guy that can help you in the playoffs.

TE

Stud Jason Witten Dal - No more TO, Roy Williams hasn't proved he's can handle the #1 WR spot, Pat Crayton has a tendency to drop balls, Miles Austin, Sam Hurd, Kevin Ogletree are all unproven, but you know who is proven? Hard Hittin' Jason Witten. 100+ catches and 10 TD isn't out of the question.

Sleeper - Dustin Keller Jets - What is the greatest security blanket for a QB? TE. Whats a rookie QB really need to start a season? A security blanket. 1 + 1 = 2. See where I'm going.

Super Sleeper - Anthony Fasano Mia - He finds the endzone. Simple and plane.

A couple of draft notes.

Wait till the last 2 rounds to take a K and a Def. In my 12 team league, I did this and ended up with Nate Keading, the K from San Deigo, and the Green Bay Packers. The best kicker last year, Gostkowski, had 9.2 pts a game, Keading 7.9. Is 1.3 pts per game worth a pick a full 6 rounds higher? Same thing with the D. Green Bay isn't the top pick, but a middle pick, and i didn't have to use an 11th round pick on them.

Limit yourself to 2 handcuff players per team. Even better if you can just use one. It may seam like a good idea to take Sprolls, McCoy, Taylor, and Norwood, due to the fact that when one of those guys goes down, you have the back up, but all of those guys are backups for a reason. Most of them arn't even really sharing duites with the incumbent. Guys like Kevin Smith, Thomas Jones, Cedric Benson, Julius Jones, and Joseph Addai may not be "sexy" picks, but they are their teams number one backs. When your starter goes down, and all you have on your bench are handcuffs, you will be in a world of hurt, so keep your handcuffs to just 1 or 2.

IF you don't get an elite WR, scatter shoot and play the match ups. After the first 5 or 6 WR's there is a significant drop off. then after the next 5, there is even a bigger one. This means taking more WR's than you normally do, and playing the match ups and "who's hot" game. A corp of WR that you can get in round 5-12 could be a group like this: T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Braylon Edwards, Anthony Gonzalez, Ted Ginn Jr., Domenik Hixon, and Michael Jenkins. Now this group is a mix of week number one's (Housh, Edwards) strong number 2's (Gonzalez, Jenkins), and a guys with potential to either suck, or be very solid (Ginn, Hixon). Now you have some room to play around.

I hope this helps, and if ya got any questions, hit us up vie email.

We take you now, to the locker room of the New Champs

Erin Andrews: Thanks guys! I'm standing in the locker room of the newly crowned champs of the Low Carb league, the Failed Anorexics! The fervor of this storied franchise is boiling over into child like happiness. People are throwing towls, spraying each other with champagne and beer, high fiving, and even a few tears of joy are being shed.

After a long season, where at times it looked like this team was done, they have emerged on top of the world, as Champions, for the first time. Lets see if we can get ahold of some of the players.

Matt! Matt! Do you have a second?



Matt Forte: Whooo, We're number one baby!! Whooooo!

EA: So, tell me how it feels right now to be the champs! You were a part of the Monday night game that sealed the victory for the Anorexics?

MF: Its awesome. I know we had a good shot coming into tonight only needing one point, and me, Aaron, and Robbie could all do that by ourselves, so we were excited. I want to take this time to thank God, our lord for making this blessing possible. Yea!!!! Go Anorexics!

EA: Thanks Matt. Lets see if we can grab WR Antiono Bryant, the WR that lead this team in scoring during the playoffs. Antonio, tell us what's going through your head right now.



Antonio Bryant: Ohh man, I just got to thank God, for letting this happen, and coach Big for believing in me, we did it man!

EA: You were on another strong team at the beginning of season, got cut and was picked up off waiver's by the Failed Anorexics, tell me what was going on at that time.

AB: well, I had played a couple of good games to that point, but I was told there was no room for me on the Evil Empire, so he had to let me go. I knew I was going to play for someone, I'm just glad this team needed a 2nd WR and I'm glad I could chip in.

EA: Chip in you did! You lead the team in Points over the playoff run, congratulations on that!

I'm joined now by QB of the Failed Anorexics, Aaron Rodgers. Aaron tell me how strange a season this was, you were drafted late to be a back up or maybe even third string, and at the end of year, here you are, QB of the Low Carb champions. How did this all come about?



Aaron Rodgers: Wow, its been a strange year. I just want to start by thanking God, without him none of this is possible. I knew at the start of the season, I would have to prove myself that I could start in this league, and when coach Big called me and asked if I would QB his team, if I was ready for that challenge. I told him we could win alot of games, and that's when the trade happened. He struck with me though a few bad games here and there, but I think I proved myself as a starter, and look at now baby, World Champs!

EA: Thanks Aaron, lets go see if we can catch up to the man of the hour, the owner and coach of the Failed Anorexics, Big. Big, can you spare a second?



Coach Big: This is the happiest day of my life! YEA baby, i don't think even seeing those maguvies of yours bounce while I'm tagging you from behind would be a better day Erin!

EA: O.....K......

Big: Love to give it a shot though!

EA: Maybe later, Coach tell me how this season has shaked out, and how you got here to be the best in the league.

Big: Ohh wow, I want to first thank God, for his blessing and understanding that my cursing during game time wasn't directed at him, but just a show of my frustration. Wow, we really did it right? After making the playoffs 4 out of 6 years, we finally won it! This is just great!

I would like to thank our MVP of the season, Michael Turner, his consistent play over the last season was what a leader does! Uhh, Brandon Marshall for his play at the start of season. It got a little shaky during the meat of the season, but you came through during the Playoffs baby!

Aaron Rodgers, for coming here and being this teams leader. Ohh and the Defense. Who could forgot the second most points scoring defense in the league! Big ups to you baby!

To my parents, who never stoped believing in me! I love you Dad! uhh, To Mc Donald's for helping me be as big as I am, and all the other girls I've dated who have turned me into a cold, heartless, loner, Thanks for giving me nothing to care about but this team! I couldn't have done it unless i was so very alone!

And to my other owners! Let this be a lesson, If I can change, and You can change, maybe we all can change!

EA: that Last part doesn't make any sense.

Big: Big is number One! Big is number One! Big is number One!!!!!!

EA: that's it from here. Thanks everybody for a great season, We will see you next year!

Mine Bitches

Looking for a Fantasy Stud?

Then may I introduce you to Fantasy Files, from NFL.com.

Chris Chambers



Chris Cooley



Laurence Maroney



Mason Crosby



There you go. Big ups to Mighty MJD for pointing these out.

S-Jax is now my number 1 pick for Fantasy.

"Kid you got to use your butfur"

"Whats a butfur"

"A butt's for pooping"

In late breaking fantasy football news,Steven Jackson just "cleaned out his system." No, he's not rocking the George DeJean toxin thing, he's getting his doo doo sucked out, or most commonly refereed to as a colonic. (just so we are straight, they put a tube up your pooper, then pump in warm water, then drain it out. At least that's what I've herd, i don't know from experience.)

In fact, this what Jackson's friend Harris said about the experience.

"When we got done and he walked out to the waiting room, I said, 'Steven, are you OK?' He said, 'I don't want to talk about it.' I swear to God, he looked like a kid who'd been in there with R Kelly."

nice.