I complain a lot. Really, I do. Why? I'm a crabby 60 year old man in a 25 year old body, I guess. I hate a lot of things in life, Big included. Every week I'm going to take the thing that bothers me the most and bitch about it. I don't give a flying fuck if you read it. If I think the internet is good for cathartic needs, who are you to judge? Ass hat.
This week's bitch: pink sports jerseys
Okay. You know this has been brought up because of the Jessica Simpson abortion (god, I wish) of the Cowboy game on Sunday. However, I've shared my thoughts on that, so I'm not going to rehash those.
This week it's more about this idea that pink versions of jerseys need to be sold to women. Doesn't this just set the "women as legitimate sports fans" movement a mile back? Who in their right mind looks at someone in a pink jersey and says, "I think that's a real fan."?
Listen, I understand how clingy bitches want to be around their boyfriends/husbands all the time. I've dealt with that before, but as annoying as it is, you can't let that nookie attachment besmirch your fanhood in such a way.
There is nothing "cute" about sports. Period. The idea that there should be a need for some kind of a "cute" factor of sports needs to be stopped. I've seen women at Texas games in pink Vince Young jerseys, I'm sure they make A&M 12 jerseys in pink, and we've seen the Cowboy version. I've been to Mavs games and seen pink Dirk jerseys, I've seen pink Michael Young jerseys, and I'm pretty sure a pink Modano sweater exists.
This extends beyond Texas, as we know Donovan McNabb's mother owns pink Eagles jerseys and god knows there's enough pink Red Sox shit to think they should be renamed the Pink Sox (in a lovely irony).
All I'm saying is, get some common sense and realize that if you were actually a fan, you are allowed to own the following: replica jerseys and throwbacks. That. Is. It.
Sorry if you were expecting something funny, but there is nothing funny about this. It's like seeing an obese guy walking up stairs. At first you shake your head in disbelief, and then you're wondering how someone could allow themselves to do such a thing.
UPDATE: Yes, I am aware that some of these pink jerseys are sold to support breast cancer awareness. However, I doubt more than 5% of people who buy them are aware of that. So for the 5% of people who are buying them to support NBCF or Komen foundation, this isn't towards you.
Monday, December 17, 2007
A Dallas Maverick Christmas
In a move taken from both Hardwood Paroxysm and The Dream Shake (Fantastic blog name, by the way), I present to you:
The Twelve Days of Christmas - the Mavericks Edition
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
the top of all eight seeds,
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
nine Diop blocks,
the top of all eight seeds,
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
ten games of defense,
nine Diop blocks,
the top of all eight seeds,
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
less JJ Barea,
ten games of defense,
nine Diop blocks,
the top of all eight seeds,
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
The Twelve Days of Christmas - the Mavericks Edition
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A second chance at the finals (please)
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A triple double from Dirk
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Some more depth at the four!
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A productive Stackhouse off the bench!
A number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A win in a seven game series!
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
The top of all eight seeds!
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Nine Diop blocks (go get you some)!
the top of all eight seeds,
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Ten games of defense!
nine Diop blocks,
the top of all eight seeds,
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Less JJ Barea!
ten games of defense,
nine Diop blocks,
the top of all eight seeds,
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A vintage Fat Lever jersey!
(inside out, a 21 would be a 12, work with me)
(inside out, a 21 would be a 12, work with me)
less JJ Barea,
ten games of defense,
nine Diop blocks,
the top of all eight seeds,
win a seven game series,
a productive Stackhouse off the bench,
A Number 5, Josh Howard jersey!!!
some more depth at the four,
a triple double from Dirk,
a second chance at the finals,
and a Mark Cuban Dancing With the Stars DVD!
The End
Oh. My. God.
In a move that will surely make Big's head explode:
Read the full story here...
Sources close to University President Mike Garrison have informed WBGV that Nick Saban’s agent has contacted WVU regarding our vacant head-coaching position.
Read the full story here...
The Brown Five - 12/17/07
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) The Cowboys lost because of inconsistency and injury
Don't kid yourself into thinking it was anything else. Romo had a bad day, and that happens to even the best of quarterbacks. You never get into a rhythym, you can't find your receivers, your line isn't getting off the snap and you've got no running game. You compound the inconsistent play with the key injuries to guys like Canty, Gurode, Watkins and Romo, and you're bound to drop a game. It happens.
2) Or was it because of a certain bombshell in the box
No. Listen, anyone who blames Jessica Simpson for the Cowboys' struggles is either going for comedy or is retarded. Here's the problem: FOX. There is absolutely no need to show anyone short of the athletes, the commentators and those associated with the game itself. I didn't need a cut away to Jessica Simpson every 2 minutes. For God's sake, you had Joe Buck commenting to his OWN FUCKING CAMERA CREW that they were turning Fox NFL into Access Hollywood. Let's get this straight, no one cares. I don't need sports commentary from the bubble gum pop radio station. And here's another hot sports opinion about Jessica Simpson: Not. That. Great. If you want to find a large breasted, man-face having girl who can't sing well and has an over bearing father, go to Baylor's campus any day of the week. It had to be said.
Some disagree
3) Browns and Bills, best game of the year
Thanks to the advent of the NFL Sunday Ticket, I spent my early afternoon watching the Browns play the Bills. This was the best 8-0 game I've ever seen because it was just disgusting and nasty weather. My entire television screen was white, and the wind and the snow made it impossible to see what was happening. It was football without any frills. Jam Jam Lewis versus Marshawn Lynch and the offensive line. Phil Dawson (former Texas great!) line driving a 49 yard field goal. Fumbled punts. Just greatness. Did I mention that Gus Johnson had the call? Oh yeah.
4) Rich Rodriguez, greener pastures?
Well, The FanHouse is reporting that Rich Rodriguez is leaving West Virginia to take the job at Michigan. To sum it up? West Virginia is pissed and Michigan is doing the happy dance. This proves that NO COACH is safe. No matter how committed they seem, Mack Brown, Bob Stoops, all of 'em are fair game to the sweet temptation of the cash. Only the Bowdens and Paternos are staying put. Well, benefit of the doubt to Rodriguez, he just said he was "interested" and he did pull out of the Bama job last minute last year, but this seems to be something everyone is running with. Big is shedding a tear because he loves him some West Virginia.
5) Dan Haren to the Diamondbacks
This was a trade that got buried in the Mitchel Report and weekend football, but should not be overlooked. It was Dan Haren for six prospects and, a separate trade, of Valverde to the Astros for Chris Burke (not from "Life Goes On") and Chad Qualls. The A's, under the Moneyball empire, ship off their stud pitcher for prospects. The D'Backs are obviously saying "we think we can win the NL this year" after a visit to the NLCS last year and now have a very formidable one-two punch with Webb and Haren, and a solid (NL) utility man in Burke. Who's going to close for them without Valverde is the question. A few more things to note with this move: the Astros have been quietly active this winter AND they have officially given up on Brad Lidge. See what Pujols will do to a man?
1) The Cowboys lost because of inconsistency and injury
Don't kid yourself into thinking it was anything else. Romo had a bad day, and that happens to even the best of quarterbacks. You never get into a rhythym, you can't find your receivers, your line isn't getting off the snap and you've got no running game. You compound the inconsistent play with the key injuries to guys like Canty, Gurode, Watkins and Romo, and you're bound to drop a game. It happens.
2) Or was it because of a certain bombshell in the box
No. Listen, anyone who blames Jessica Simpson for the Cowboys' struggles is either going for comedy or is retarded. Here's the problem: FOX. There is absolutely no need to show anyone short of the athletes, the commentators and those associated with the game itself. I didn't need a cut away to Jessica Simpson every 2 minutes. For God's sake, you had Joe Buck commenting to his OWN FUCKING CAMERA CREW that they were turning Fox NFL into Access Hollywood. Let's get this straight, no one cares. I don't need sports commentary from the bubble gum pop radio station. And here's another hot sports opinion about Jessica Simpson: Not. That. Great. If you want to find a large breasted, man-face having girl who can't sing well and has an over bearing father, go to Baylor's campus any day of the week. It had to be said.
Some disagree
3) Browns and Bills, best game of the year
Thanks to the advent of the NFL Sunday Ticket, I spent my early afternoon watching the Browns play the Bills. This was the best 8-0 game I've ever seen because it was just disgusting and nasty weather. My entire television screen was white, and the wind and the snow made it impossible to see what was happening. It was football without any frills. Jam Jam Lewis versus Marshawn Lynch and the offensive line. Phil Dawson (former Texas great!) line driving a 49 yard field goal. Fumbled punts. Just greatness. Did I mention that Gus Johnson had the call? Oh yeah.
4) Rich Rodriguez, greener pastures?
Well, The FanHouse is reporting that Rich Rodriguez is leaving West Virginia to take the job at Michigan. To sum it up? West Virginia is pissed and Michigan is doing the happy dance. This proves that NO COACH is safe. No matter how committed they seem, Mack Brown, Bob Stoops, all of 'em are fair game to the sweet temptation of the cash. Only the Bowdens and Paternos are staying put. Well, benefit of the doubt to Rodriguez, he just said he was "interested" and he did pull out of the Bama job last minute last year, but this seems to be something everyone is running with. Big is shedding a tear because he loves him some West Virginia.
5) Dan Haren to the Diamondbacks
This was a trade that got buried in the Mitchel Report and weekend football, but should not be overlooked. It was Dan Haren for six prospects and, a separate trade, of Valverde to the Astros for Chris Burke (not from "Life Goes On") and Chad Qualls. The A's, under the Moneyball empire, ship off their stud pitcher for prospects. The D'Backs are obviously saying "we think we can win the NL this year" after a visit to the NLCS last year and now have a very formidable one-two punch with Webb and Haren, and a solid (NL) utility man in Burke. Who's going to close for them without Valverde is the question. A few more things to note with this move: the Astros have been quietly active this winter AND they have officially given up on Brad Lidge. See what Pujols will do to a man?
Friday, December 14, 2007
The Brown Five - 12/14/07
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) The Mitchell Report, okay, now what?
Selig says he's going to crack down, Fehr says he'll cooperate within the limits of players' interests. Sounds like the same thing. However, what I think the best thing to come out of it was, the MLB said, "independent party, take all the time and money you need to find the findings and bash us without mercy" They took the public sentiment and said, "you're right, we've got a serious problem, and now we're going to do our best to acknowledge it and try to fix it." Cheers to you, baseball, now let's see you back it up.
2) Bob Costas has the best solution
Costas (my favorite announcer of all time) was on Mike and Mike this morning and pretty much had the best solution regarding punishments and the Hall of Fame and the Book of Records. This isn't a direct quote, as I'm working from memory, but it's close enough:
Couldn't have said it better.
3) Who's sorry now?
Mario Williams has proven that maybe Charlie Casserly wasn't playing give up a few years ago. Let's see: Demeco Ryans was last year's DROY and still plays fantastic football. Vince Young was the OROY last year, and granted he's slipping this year because he's trying to play pocket qb instead of freelancing which he does best. Mario Williams is second in the leage with sacks at 13 this year, and if you watch him, plays like a fucking man-child. Reggie Bush? Well, he's a glorified scat back who spends more time with Jared from Subway and Kim Kardashian's ass that he forgot what the hell he gets paid to do. Where's the media mea culpa?
4) I'm not sure what's wrong with Aggies
As a Longhorn alum, I'm going to try and be objective. Texas A&M has got a REALLY good basketball team. Scary good with a loaded recruiting class. That being said, they can't fill Reed Arena worth a damn. This makes no sense. This is a school that is so steeped in tradition it makes me sick. Granted, I don't know how they do it down there, but in Austin we'd pay $40 at the time of registration and you could go to the Drum to watch any basketball game for free. And when Barnes created the O-zone, it became that much more fun because we got better seats than the alumni did. I'm a little taken aback that a college that claims to have the best support group can't fill arena for the best thing they have down there.
5) Duke wants David Cutcliffe
And people want to say that the SMU job is a curse to a coaching career??? If Cutcliffe is smart, he'll wait and take a better job (come on, he made Elisha look good at Ole Miss) or he'll slip something into Phatty Fulmer's drink and take over at Tennessee. Don't do something you're going to regret and go to Raleigh-Durham. That's the ACC's doormat. No matter what Dorsey and Big want to argue about, I'm not sure they're going to say that being at the bottom of the ACC is any kind of a respectable position.
1) The Mitchell Report, okay, now what?
Selig says he's going to crack down, Fehr says he'll cooperate within the limits of players' interests. Sounds like the same thing. However, what I think the best thing to come out of it was, the MLB said, "independent party, take all the time and money you need to find the findings and bash us without mercy" They took the public sentiment and said, "you're right, we've got a serious problem, and now we're going to do our best to acknowledge it and try to fix it." Cheers to you, baseball, now let's see you back it up.
2) Bob Costas has the best solution
Costas (my favorite announcer of all time) was on Mike and Mike this morning and pretty much had the best solution regarding punishments and the Hall of Fame and the Book of Records. This isn't a direct quote, as I'm working from memory, but it's close enough:
"Asterisks mean nothing because you'd have to put them on everything. Instead have the very first page of the book of records say something to the degree of: baseball is the purist sport and the historical continuity of these records holds more solid than any other sport in the world. However, given timeframes, baseball has had certain conditions or circumstances that have led to the skewing of records. These include, but are not limited to: segregation and integration, day games and night games, lower mounds and higher mounds, and the so called steroid era of the 1990's. Keep the reference as you flip through this book that baseball has always had a circumstance or condition that threatens its context and continuity, but it retains itself more than any other sport. Then turn the page."
Couldn't have said it better.
3) Who's sorry now?
Mario Williams has proven that maybe Charlie Casserly wasn't playing give up a few years ago. Let's see: Demeco Ryans was last year's DROY and still plays fantastic football. Vince Young was the OROY last year, and granted he's slipping this year because he's trying to play pocket qb instead of freelancing which he does best. Mario Williams is second in the leage with sacks at 13 this year, and if you watch him, plays like a fucking man-child. Reggie Bush? Well, he's a glorified scat back who spends more time with Jared from Subway and Kim Kardashian's ass that he forgot what the hell he gets paid to do. Where's the media mea culpa?
4) I'm not sure what's wrong with Aggies
As a Longhorn alum, I'm going to try and be objective. Texas A&M has got a REALLY good basketball team. Scary good with a loaded recruiting class. That being said, they can't fill Reed Arena worth a damn. This makes no sense. This is a school that is so steeped in tradition it makes me sick. Granted, I don't know how they do it down there, but in Austin we'd pay $40 at the time of registration and you could go to the Drum to watch any basketball game for free. And when Barnes created the O-zone, it became that much more fun because we got better seats than the alumni did. I'm a little taken aback that a college that claims to have the best support group can't fill arena for the best thing they have down there.
5) Duke wants David Cutcliffe
And people want to say that the SMU job is a curse to a coaching career??? If Cutcliffe is smart, he'll wait and take a better job (come on, he made Elisha look good at Ole Miss) or he'll slip something into Phatty Fulmer's drink and take over at Tennessee. Don't do something you're going to regret and go to Raleigh-Durham. That's the ACC's doormat. No matter what Dorsey and Big want to argue about, I'm not sure they're going to say that being at the bottom of the ACC is any kind of a respectable position.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Gansta meets Math
If you love Hip Hop, like I do, and love math, again like I do. You will dig this site Its a bunch of Hip Hop terms put into graphs and charts. Here is a few of my favs. 
And yes, I do crush a lot (no i don't)(but would like to)
And yes, I do crush a lot (no i don't)(but would like to)
I've had this injury before
Listen to everyone's favorite Gumbel describe the injury that Cooley sustained
Wow, and here I thought I was the only one who's ever hurt himself just trying to pass a dook.
(From Mr. Irrelevant)
Wow, and here I thought I was the only one who's ever hurt himself just trying to pass a dook.
(From Mr. Irrelevant)
The List!
From Deadspin, here's the list of all the players named in the Mitchell Report:
Lenny Dykstra
David Segui
Larry Bigbie
Brian Roberts
Jack Cust
Tim Laker
Josias Manzanillo
Todd Hundley
Mark Carreon
Hal Morris
Matt Franco
Rondell White
Roger Clemens
Andy Pettitte
Chuck Knoblauch
Jason Grimsley
Gregg Zaun
David Justice
F.P. Santangelo
Glenallen Hill
Mo Vaughn
Denny Neagle
Ron Villone
Ryan Franklin
Chris Donnels
Todd Williams
Phil Hiatt
Todd Pratt
Kevin Young
Mike Lansing
Cody McKay
Kent Mercker
Adam Piatt
Miguel Tejada
Jason Christiansen
Mike Stanton
Stephen Randolph
Jerry Hairston
Paul Lo Duca
Adam Riggs
Bart Miadich
Fernando Vina
Kevin Brown
Eric Gagne
Mike Bell
Matt Herges
Gary Bennett, Jr.
Jim Parque
Brendan Donnelly
Chad Allen
Jeff Williams
Howie Clark
Nook Logan
Rick Ankiel
Paul Byrd
Jay Gibbons
Troy Glaus
Jose Guillen
Jerry Hairston Jr.
Gary Matthews Jr.
Scott Schoeneweis
David Bell
Jose Canseco
Jason Grimsley
Darren Holmes
John Rocker
Ismael Valdez
Matt Williams
Steve Woodard
Read the full 400 page report here
Anyone notice a certain home run record holder's name missing????
"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!
I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.
"2girls1torso.com"
"2girls1torso.com"
The Brown Five - 12/13/07
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Like a breathe a fresh air
Anyone else noticing that with Billy King gone, the 76ers have put together a nice little set of games? Dalembert is starting to show signs of what they've wanted him to be. Andre Miller (oh yeah, THAT Andre Miller) is showing signs of life, and the rookies are starting to come together. Now, I've always been a Mo Cheeks fan, though I can't say why. Maybe a good GM does matter. More on that story in the latest issue of "Duh" magazine.
2) Mitchell Report due at 1 pm today
How many owners are starting to feel buyer's remorse for some players they've made moves for? How many players are starting to feel like their Dad is gonna find out they nicked the car? How many times have Peter Gammons and Karl Ravech mutually masturbated in Bristol today? I'm putting the over/under at 20.
3) From the desk of Bobby Petrino
4) TO and Me-Shawn
Why does anyone care? As long as Owens isn't calling out Phillips, Garrett or Romo, I don't give a shit who he's trashing. Keyshawn is standing up for the only coach who really gave half a shit about him, big deal. Owens is standing up for the coaches that are letting him have his best season ever. I've never been a big Key fan, and I've always been an Owens fan (yes, even when he was in San Francisco). Bottom line, who cares?
5) Cubs cut Mark Prior
Would you take a one year flier on this guy? How great was he when he first came out? Sure his arm was used more than Jenna Jameson's dildo, but still, after missing multiple seasons and rehabbing, would you sign him to a one year deal, just to see what he has in the tank? Think about it and comment.
1) Like a breathe a fresh air
Anyone else noticing that with Billy King gone, the 76ers have put together a nice little set of games? Dalembert is starting to show signs of what they've wanted him to be. Andre Miller (oh yeah, THAT Andre Miller) is showing signs of life, and the rookies are starting to come together. Now, I've always been a Mo Cheeks fan, though I can't say why. Maybe a good GM does matter. More on that story in the latest issue of "Duh" magazine.
2) Mitchell Report due at 1 pm today
How many owners are starting to feel buyer's remorse for some players they've made moves for? How many players are starting to feel like their Dad is gonna find out they nicked the car? How many times have Peter Gammons and Karl Ravech mutually masturbated in Bristol today? I'm putting the over/under at 20.
3) From the desk of Bobby Petrino
Atlanta Falcons players,
Out of my respect for you, I am letting you know, with a heavy heart, I resigned today as the Head Coach of the Atlanta Falcons. This decision was not easy but was made in the best interest of me and my family. While my desire would have been to finish out what has been a difficult season for us all, circumstances did not allow me to do so. I appreciate your hard work and wish the best.
Sincerely,
Bobby Petrino"
I'd like to add: "P.S. SOOOOOEEYY PIG!!"
4) TO and Me-Shawn
Why does anyone care? As long as Owens isn't calling out Phillips, Garrett or Romo, I don't give a shit who he's trashing. Keyshawn is standing up for the only coach who really gave half a shit about him, big deal. Owens is standing up for the coaches that are letting him have his best season ever. I've never been a big Key fan, and I've always been an Owens fan (yes, even when he was in San Francisco). Bottom line, who cares?
5) Cubs cut Mark Prior
Would you take a one year flier on this guy? How great was he when he first came out? Sure his arm was used more than Jenna Jameson's dildo, but still, after missing multiple seasons and rehabbing, would you sign him to a one year deal, just to see what he has in the tank? Think about it and comment.
The Second Turnbuckle
As we here at the Big and the Brown love all things sports, fake or real, we know that we don't have all the knowledge of some of our peers. We gladly move aside when someone who is an expert in a certain field wants to put his/her two cents in. With that said, here is what should be a weekly post about wrestling from our wrestling guru.
Here it is folks. The long awaited 3rd installment from El Blogador. With everyone caught up in the excitement of American Football, especially the teams from colleges, I will pick my winners for these bowl games. I'm not promising anything great. Being Mexican and working a computer make this project difficult. So this installment will be like watching a Barry Horowitz / Red Rooster / Repo Man triple threat match.
Poinsettia Bowl
Utah falls to Navy. Utah has nothing. Navy has the former actor/former governer Jesse 'the Body' Ventura. Possibly greater than Staubach?
New Orleans Bowl
Florida Atlantic over Memphis. It'll be a close one with Memphis having the power of Jerry Lawler behind them. But, by association through the Sun Belt Conference and North Texas, FAU pulls of a 'stunner' in the last seconds to win it. 15 people will rejoice.
Holiday Bowl
University of Texas beats Arizona State. There's nothing exciting here just Dead Bobby Duncum, Jr. and former 4-Horseman and Super Bowl Champion Steve "Mongo" McMicheal.
Independence Bowl
Colorado crushes 'Bama. Surprisingly, actually not that surprising, I can find no record of any professional wrestlers attending the University of Alabama. Colorado can say 'It's time, It's time, It's Vader Time!!' The former 'Boy Meets World' guest star is also a Colorado Alum with a degree in Architecture.
Sun Bowl
South Florida runs wild over Oregon. That's right brotha, watcha gonna do when Bullmania flexes it's 24' pythons and crushes the Ducks. Hogan did a few semesters as South Florida and Oregon has nothing.
Outback Bowl
Tennessee drops it against Wisconsin.........Wisconsin. The Vols have one time wrestler Reggie White but Badger has current and future superstar Ken Kennedy.
Chick-Fil-A Bowl
Auburn slips by Clemson. I search and search and all I can find is Kevin Greene former Steeler great had a stint in WCW when talent was pretty low.
Music City Bowl
After a great season Kentucky falls to the geriatric-led Seminoles. DAMN! Ron "Farrooq" Simmons was a star DE for the Seminoles and now has a great catch phrase and is competing with Ron Washington for best "George Jefferson Afro".
Fiesta Bowl
Sooners quiet the Mountaineers. You want to try to compete with OU when it comes to Pro Wrestling and all you bring is Pacman (former TNA tag team chamion) Jones. OU has Dr. Death Steve Williams and Good Ol' Jim Ross. "My God Pat White is broken in half, somebody end the match now"
and finally the National Chamionship Game
It's a stretch but there isn't much out there. The Buckeyes are National Chamions. OOOOOOHHH YEEEEAAHHHH!!!! Snap into it! and such. Macho Man was born in Columbus so I'm sure he rooted for The Ohio State University.
-El Blogador
Here it is folks. The long awaited 3rd installment from El Blogador. With everyone caught up in the excitement of American Football, especially the teams from colleges, I will pick my winners for these bowl games. I'm not promising anything great. Being Mexican and working a computer make this project difficult. So this installment will be like watching a Barry Horowitz / Red Rooster / Repo Man triple threat match.
Poinsettia Bowl
Utah falls to Navy. Utah has nothing. Navy has the former actor/former governer Jesse 'the Body' Ventura. Possibly greater than Staubach?
New Orleans Bowl
Florida Atlantic over Memphis. It'll be a close one with Memphis having the power of Jerry Lawler behind them. But, by association through the Sun Belt Conference and North Texas, FAU pulls of a 'stunner' in the last seconds to win it. 15 people will rejoice.
Holiday Bowl
University of Texas beats Arizona State. There's nothing exciting here just Dead Bobby Duncum, Jr. and former 4-Horseman and Super Bowl Champion Steve "Mongo" McMicheal.
Independence Bowl
Colorado crushes 'Bama. Surprisingly, actually not that surprising, I can find no record of any professional wrestlers attending the University of Alabama. Colorado can say 'It's time, It's time, It's Vader Time!!' The former 'Boy Meets World' guest star is also a Colorado Alum with a degree in Architecture.
Sun Bowl
South Florida runs wild over Oregon. That's right brotha, watcha gonna do when Bullmania flexes it's 24' pythons and crushes the Ducks. Hogan did a few semesters as South Florida and Oregon has nothing.
Outback Bowl
Tennessee drops it against Wisconsin.........Wisconsin. The Vols have one time wrestler Reggie White but Badger has current and future superstar Ken Kennedy.
Chick-Fil-A Bowl
Auburn slips by Clemson. I search and search and all I can find is Kevin Greene former Steeler great had a stint in WCW when talent was pretty low.
Music City Bowl
After a great season Kentucky falls to the geriatric-led Seminoles. DAMN! Ron "Farrooq" Simmons was a star DE for the Seminoles and now has a great catch phrase and is competing with Ron Washington for best "George Jefferson Afro".
Fiesta Bowl
Sooners quiet the Mountaineers. You want to try to compete with OU when it comes to Pro Wrestling and all you bring is Pacman (former TNA tag team chamion) Jones. OU has Dr. Death Steve Williams and Good Ol' Jim Ross. "My God Pat White is broken in half, somebody end the match now"
and finally the National Chamionship Game
It's a stretch but there isn't much out there. The Buckeyes are National Chamions. OOOOOOHHH YEEEEAAHHHH!!!! Snap into it! and such. Macho Man was born in Columbus so I'm sure he rooted for The Ohio State University.
-El Blogador
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Oh Bobby, and the grass is always greener
Over the past week, we have had several things go down since I last wrote this article about all the college coaching changes in college football, culminating in the big nasty news last night that Bobby Petrino quite during his first year as head coach of the Atlanta Falcons to become the head coach at Arkansas. I would like to thank The Big Lead for the linking our little blog site last week.
Before we get to the douche that is Petrino, lets talk about some of the other places that got their coach, or haven't.
Georgia Tech - A reader named Richard K, who has to be a Georgia Tech supporter, made some great points on why they needed to fire Chan Gailey. While I am of the the old school way of thinking in that unless a coach rocks several bad seasons in a row, you might want to stay with him awhile. That said, they went out and got one hell of a college coach, Paul Johnson. Johnson has been the coach of the Navy Midshipmen for the past 6 years, and really turned that program around. Johnson was also courted by SMU and Duke. This is good news for you Yellow Jacket fans, especially if you like to watch a team run the ball about 80% of the time.
Washington State - Enter Paul Wulff. Well, I said they needed to go get a young up and coming coach, and that's what they did. Wulff is 40, and has been coaching the Eastern Washington near by. He is a State guy who wants to "make Wassu the team in Washington," and that he "hates purple." Right on.
Michigan - Despite his best efforts, Les Miles is still being linked to this job, and you know what, I still say he gets it.
UCLA - Nobody has been named yet, so their is still hope for Mike Leech. I am crossing my fingers for this to happen for the simple fact that I can make fun of all my Texas Tech friends.
Arkansas - And on to the big news of the week. Former coach of the Louisville Cardinals, and as of yesterday Head Coach of the Atlanta Falcons Bobby Petrino has been named coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks. Now unless your in Fayettville, either in body or mind, this has got to be looked at as a dick move. But before I get into that, lets look at how this guy stacks up for the hogs.
From 03-06 he was the Head Coach of Louisville, where his offense was great. He lead the team to multiply bowl games and helped them get respect, and helped them get into the Big East. He coached under Tommy Tubberville at Auburn as his OC in 02, and has some NFL experience as a QB coach, and OC with Jacksonville, 99-00, and 01 respectively. And of course 13 games as the Falcons head coach this year. I have no problem with coaches trying the NFL and then either not digging it, or not being dedicated enough to make it work. Ball Coach, Butch Davis, the list goes on. Its cool.
What I don't like about this move is when it went down. Petrino coached his Falcons team Monday, told his players "I'll see ya Wednesday," and then took the Arkansas job Tuesday. Douche. I know his players did really care for him, they thought he treated his plays like kids, but still. You took a job so at least go 3 more weeks. This is a guy hasn't been at one job for more than 4 years. So if he does just a decent job, don't be surprised if some bigger college program needs a coach, he will leave in a heart beat.
By the way Pat Forde hates this guy. Read his bashing here
There is still some stuff to roll out about all these guys, but the pic is getting clearer.
Before we get to the douche that is Petrino, lets talk about some of the other places that got their coach, or haven't.
Georgia Tech - A reader named Richard K, who has to be a Georgia Tech supporter, made some great points on why they needed to fire Chan Gailey. While I am of the the old school way of thinking in that unless a coach rocks several bad seasons in a row, you might want to stay with him awhile. That said, they went out and got one hell of a college coach, Paul Johnson. Johnson has been the coach of the Navy Midshipmen for the past 6 years, and really turned that program around. Johnson was also courted by SMU and Duke. This is good news for you Yellow Jacket fans, especially if you like to watch a team run the ball about 80% of the time.
Washington State - Enter Paul Wulff. Well, I said they needed to go get a young up and coming coach, and that's what they did. Wulff is 40, and has been coaching the Eastern Washington near by. He is a State guy who wants to "make Wassu the team in Washington," and that he "hates purple." Right on.
Michigan - Despite his best efforts, Les Miles is still being linked to this job, and you know what, I still say he gets it.
UCLA - Nobody has been named yet, so their is still hope for Mike Leech. I am crossing my fingers for this to happen for the simple fact that I can make fun of all my Texas Tech friends.
Arkansas - And on to the big news of the week. Former coach of the Louisville Cardinals, and as of yesterday Head Coach of the Atlanta Falcons Bobby Petrino has been named coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks. Now unless your in Fayettville, either in body or mind, this has got to be looked at as a dick move. But before I get into that, lets look at how this guy stacks up for the hogs.
From 03-06 he was the Head Coach of Louisville, where his offense was great. He lead the team to multiply bowl games and helped them get respect, and helped them get into the Big East. He coached under Tommy Tubberville at Auburn as his OC in 02, and has some NFL experience as a QB coach, and OC with Jacksonville, 99-00, and 01 respectively. And of course 13 games as the Falcons head coach this year. I have no problem with coaches trying the NFL and then either not digging it, or not being dedicated enough to make it work. Ball Coach, Butch Davis, the list goes on. Its cool.
What I don't like about this move is when it went down. Petrino coached his Falcons team Monday, told his players "I'll see ya Wednesday," and then took the Arkansas job Tuesday. Douche. I know his players did really care for him, they thought he treated his plays like kids, but still. You took a job so at least go 3 more weeks. This is a guy hasn't been at one job for more than 4 years. So if he does just a decent job, don't be surprised if some bigger college program needs a coach, he will leave in a heart beat.
By the way Pat Forde hates this guy. Read his bashing here
There is still some stuff to roll out about all these guys, but the pic is getting clearer.
The Brown Five - 12/12/07
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Petrino quits, and people are happy(?)
Bobby Petrino realized he was more Saban and Spurrier than he was Jimmy Johnson and decided to quit on the Falcons and take the job as the new coach of the Razorbacks. On ESPN radio, they had Brian Finneran, a receiver for Atlanta who said this was good because no one liked Petrino. Arkansas is happy because they have a successful college coach. What about Arthur Blank? Talk about a shitty, shitty season. Personally, I think this is the highest form of douchebaggery, and Petrino should be getting shredded all over the place for this crap. You had 3 games to go and you quit? Really?
2) TJ Ford's neck is like Grant Hill's ankles and Allan Houston's knees
TJ Ford has had spinal injuries for awhile now. I remember he was playing pick up basketball at Gregory Gym and hurt his neck and Rick Barnes wanted to kill a bunch of the intramural college kids at Texas. Anyways, it happened against last night when Al Horford hit him in the back and caused Ford to fall and smack his head on the ground. Horford was ejected, and Ford went to the hospital. That's some bullshit, and this is why the league needs to demand each team have a Charles Oakley. (I know this was unintentional, and TrueHoop tells how Horford immediately went to the hospital, but this is my chance to promote my "every team needs an Oakley" rule.)
3) Fukudome to the Cubbies and the Rangers get Fucked more
The guy I really really really wanted to see in a Rangers uniform made his decision to go to the Cubs for a 4 year/$50 MM contract. God damn it. You're telling me we couldn't afford that? I'm sick of this crap. He would have worked well. What did the Rangers do? They signed the reliever, Fukumore instead. By the way, he's injured right now. So, the two signings so far? An injured, crazy 29 year old outfielder and an injured 31 year old closer. Jon Daniels, Theo Epstein you are not.
4) I'm not sure this Isaiah thing can get worse
Really, now he's blaming the fans for the disaster that is the New York Knicks? Oh wow. You know, on paper, that's not really THAT bad of a team. I have to wonder if, given a good coach, they could actually see some success. Then again, they play in the East, and with those guys in Boston, I'm not sure about it. Speaking of that, please tell me you saw the Sportscenter commercial where they are asking for help on a nickname and do the "Three Amigos Salute". Comedy of epic proportions.
5) Mangino gets coach of the year.
I'll have nothing to add but this:
giggle
1) Petrino quits, and people are happy(?)
Bobby Petrino realized he was more Saban and Spurrier than he was Jimmy Johnson and decided to quit on the Falcons and take the job as the new coach of the Razorbacks. On ESPN radio, they had Brian Finneran, a receiver for Atlanta who said this was good because no one liked Petrino. Arkansas is happy because they have a successful college coach. What about Arthur Blank? Talk about a shitty, shitty season. Personally, I think this is the highest form of douchebaggery, and Petrino should be getting shredded all over the place for this crap. You had 3 games to go and you quit? Really?
2) TJ Ford's neck is like Grant Hill's ankles and Allan Houston's knees
TJ Ford has had spinal injuries for awhile now. I remember he was playing pick up basketball at Gregory Gym and hurt his neck and Rick Barnes wanted to kill a bunch of the intramural college kids at Texas. Anyways, it happened against last night when Al Horford hit him in the back and caused Ford to fall and smack his head on the ground. Horford was ejected, and Ford went to the hospital. That's some bullshit, and this is why the league needs to demand each team have a Charles Oakley. (I know this was unintentional, and TrueHoop tells how Horford immediately went to the hospital, but this is my chance to promote my "every team needs an Oakley" rule.)
3) Fukudome to the Cubbies and the Rangers get Fucked more
The guy I really really really wanted to see in a Rangers uniform made his decision to go to the Cubs for a 4 year/$50 MM contract. God damn it. You're telling me we couldn't afford that? I'm sick of this crap. He would have worked well. What did the Rangers do? They signed the reliever, Fukumore instead. By the way, he's injured right now. So, the two signings so far? An injured, crazy 29 year old outfielder and an injured 31 year old closer. Jon Daniels, Theo Epstein you are not.
4) I'm not sure this Isaiah thing can get worse
Really, now he's blaming the fans for the disaster that is the New York Knicks? Oh wow. You know, on paper, that's not really THAT bad of a team. I have to wonder if, given a good coach, they could actually see some success. Then again, they play in the East, and with those guys in Boston, I'm not sure about it. Speaking of that, please tell me you saw the Sportscenter commercial where they are asking for help on a nickname and do the "Three Amigos Salute". Comedy of epic proportions.
5) Mangino gets coach of the year.
I'll have nothing to add but this:
giggle
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Power is in the eye of.....
Man I love this time of year! College football bowls are just around the corner (i will do a special post about this later), and the NFL season has been moved from a 32 team "everybody has a shot" league, to about a 20-24 team "oh shit we need to win" league. Just like last week, lets rock some playoff talk before we get to the horny strong NFL rankings.
AFC
In: New England 13-0, Indianapolis 11-2.
Leading division with games ahead.
Pittsburgh 9-4(1), San Diego 8-5(2)
Playoff Front Runners
Jacksonville 9-4, Cleveland 8-5,
Slight, needs some help, chances.
Tennessee 7-6, Buffalo 7-6, Denver 6-7, Houston 6-7
NFC
In: Dallas 12-1, Green Bay 11-2, Seattle 9-4
Leading Division with games ahead
Tampa Bay 8-5(2)
Playoff Front Runners
New York 9-4, Minnesota 7-6
Slight, needs some help, but a chance.
Washington 6-7, Detroit 6-7, Arizona 6-7, New Orleans 6-7
Game to Watch This Week
Denver 6-7 @ Houston 6-7 Thursday
Winner still has a shot, loser is out.
Jacksonville 9-4 @ Pittsburgh 9-4 Sun 12:00
Pitt needs to win to have a shot at a first round bye, and Cleveland will be cheering for Jac very, very loudly.
Arizona 6-7 @ New Orleans 6-7 Sun 12:00
Again winner still has a shot, loser is out, and NO needs to win to still have a shot at Div.
Buffalo 7-6 @ Cleveland 8-5 Sun 12:00
While not a must win for Cle, because 9-7 will probably get you in the AFC, but a win for Buffalo would really give them a good chance.
Detroit 6-7 @ San Diego 8-5 Sun 3:15
A win for the Chargers would all but clinch the Div, and the Lions need it to stay alive.
Washington 6-7 @ New York Giants 9-4 Sun 7:30
New York will get a playoff spot with a win, but Washington will be fighting to catch Minnesota for the last wild card spot.
Its going to be one HELL of great football Sunday! Now onto the power rankings for this week. Once again this is based on how the team would fair against a coked up swamp rat trying to protect her young, while constipated.
The Opps I Crapped my Pants Tier
32. Miami Dolphins 0-13 - I know they might be the worst team ever, but you are really going to first Cam Camron after 1 season? Give him at least one more shot.
31. San Francisco 49ers 3-10 - I am sad that Alex Smith didn't work out. I kinda liked that kid.
30. New York Jets 3-10 - I really like the idea that New England shouldn't even suit up a punter for this weeks game. Good line Bill.
Showing Signs that Next Year Could be Better Tier
29. St. Louis Rams 3-10 - This might be a good thing for the Rams. This team was ROCKED by hurt people, now they are going to get a solid pick from the draft. Watch out next year.
28. Atlanta Falcons 3-10 - Well, screw me, Chris Redman wasn't that bad. And a side note, I had to change the stations when Arther Blank made the statement about as long as Vick doesn't go "crazy with the Fried Chicken and Fries," he wouldn't be apposed to letting him back on the team. Uncomfortable.
27. Carolina Panthers 5-8 - See, I told you they should have taken a QB last year in the first round. Brady Quinn would have this team in the playoffs.
I Few Key Players Away Tier
26. Kansas City Chiefs 4-9 - No Larry, no playoffs, and probably, no Herm next year. It all makes me sad.
25. Chicago Bears 5-8 - Thinking back, this is what the Bears do. They are really good, then just OK, then bad, then really good again. All in 3 years.
The Should have been Better Tier
24. Baltimore Ravens 4-9 - The team has given up on its coach. Simple.
23. Oakland Raiders 4-9 - Doesn't really fit the tier. I think these guys are on the way up.
22. Philadelphia Eagles 5-8 - You know who I feel bad for? Brain Westbrook. If this team was 2 games better, he might be an MVP candidate. Now? Nobody cares.
21. Cincinnati Bengals 5-8 - Maybe this will be a wake up call for this team. If they don't make noise in the playoffs next year, Marvin will be gone.
The Playoff Circle Jerk Tier
20. Detroit Lions 6-7 - So, you can't get to 10 wins anymore. Sorry bout ya Jon. Now the question is, can they win one more game.
19. Arizona Cardinals 6-7 - Fun Fun game this week. They need to win, and I hope Robo Jesus Arm comes's through.
18. Washington Redskins 6-7 - Very solid win over the Bears. Need to ride that high this week.
17. Denver Broncos 6-7 - Jay Cutler, right on man. I know a certain friend of mine who will be wearing his oneze this week.
16. Houston Texans 6-7 - Every time I write this team off, they come and push forward. If Andre Johnson didn't get hurt this year, he would be right up there with Moss and TO.
15. New Orleans Saints 6-7 - Well, take a fancy toy away from a kid and he will have just as much fun just playing in the yard. The fancy toy is Reggie Bush, now that he is done for the year, PCL, Sean Payton can't over think his dumb ass.
14. Buffalo Bills 7-6 - So, the Bills still have a shot? I don't understand the team, except they play hard, and with a few bounces their way, they would be 9-4. Crazy.
13. Tennessee Titans 7-6 - Despite the loss to Sand Diego, with Hanseyworth back on the D-Line, in my opinion this team has the best shot to get in out of all these teams.
The I Can't Believe This Team is this Good Tier
12. Minnesota Vikings 7-6 - Every game I expect Travis to fuck up. Welp, that gansta ass just won't do it. Even when Adrian goes for like 10 yards, they win. I don't want to play this team.
Holds Their Own Destiny Tier
11. New York Giants 9-4 - Every time i watch these guys play, I don't see how they are 9-4. They seem to get out played every game, yet they win. Fuck if i know.
10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 8-5 - The great unknown. Much like Kansas and Missouri from college football, this team kinda came out of nowhere, and they need to be put back in their place. But its not going to happen.
9. Cleveland Browns 8-5 - Is this team coming back down to earth a little bit? They barley beat the Jets. But a win is a win, and they are only 1 game back of Pitt with 3 left. Still got a shot at a home playoff game.
Won't Win it all, but will make some noise in the Playoffs Tier
8. Seattle Seahawks 9-4 - Mat Hassellquarterback has been just bad ass these last few weeks. If he keeps playing like this, and the coach doesn't shoot em in the foot, watch out Green Bay or Dallas
7. Pittsburgh Steelers 9-4 - This was the team that was going to beat New England huh? So the reason I don't have team higher is I still don't know who they are. Last 3 games are like this. Bad Weather win, Bad Field Win, and Blown out by the Pats. Need we start the "Overrated" chant?
6. San Diego Chargers 8-5 - If this team doesn't win at least 1 playoff game, I expect LDT to "hot Carl" Phill Rivers after the loss.
5. Jacksonville Jaguars 9-4 - This team is about to jump to the next tier, but the lack to winning a big game is hurting them. They will get there shot on the road, during the playoffs. I would love to see Jacksonville @ San Diego in the first round.
Top of Conference Teams
4. Green Bay Packers 11-2 - They rolled the lowly Raiders. As they should. Of all the teams already in the playoffs, this is the one that i think could get beat early.
3. Indianapolis Colts 11-2 - Watch out, they are getting healthy. Still has the best shot to beat the pats.
2. Dallas Cowboys 12-1 - Won a game they shouldn't have. That's what good teams do. The thing that I liked the most about the game, the adjustments at half time. What I didn't like was the defense as a whole.
Best Ever Tier, again
1. New England Patriots 12-0 - Well, it seams the only reason the other games were close these past few weeks is they didn't have anything to get for. They did this week, and they rolled. They have a reason again this week because its against the team that started the whole cheating thing. They will the last game because of a shot at 16-0. Team with the chance to beat them over the next 3 weeks? Miami. Yup. Its going to happen.
Well once again i have wasted not only my time in writing this, but yours by reading. I am sorry. I still love you though.
AFC
In: New England 13-0, Indianapolis 11-2.
Leading division with games ahead.
Pittsburgh 9-4(1), San Diego 8-5(2)
Playoff Front Runners
Jacksonville 9-4, Cleveland 8-5,
Slight, needs some help, chances.
Tennessee 7-6, Buffalo 7-6, Denver 6-7, Houston 6-7
NFC
In: Dallas 12-1, Green Bay 11-2, Seattle 9-4
Leading Division with games ahead
Tampa Bay 8-5(2)
Playoff Front Runners
New York 9-4, Minnesota 7-6
Slight, needs some help, but a chance.
Washington 6-7, Detroit 6-7, Arizona 6-7, New Orleans 6-7
Game to Watch This Week
Denver 6-7 @ Houston 6-7 Thursday
Winner still has a shot, loser is out.
Jacksonville 9-4 @ Pittsburgh 9-4 Sun 12:00
Pitt needs to win to have a shot at a first round bye, and Cleveland will be cheering for Jac very, very loudly.
Arizona 6-7 @ New Orleans 6-7 Sun 12:00
Again winner still has a shot, loser is out, and NO needs to win to still have a shot at Div.
Buffalo 7-6 @ Cleveland 8-5 Sun 12:00
While not a must win for Cle, because 9-7 will probably get you in the AFC, but a win for Buffalo would really give them a good chance.
Detroit 6-7 @ San Diego 8-5 Sun 3:15
A win for the Chargers would all but clinch the Div, and the Lions need it to stay alive.
Washington 6-7 @ New York Giants 9-4 Sun 7:30
New York will get a playoff spot with a win, but Washington will be fighting to catch Minnesota for the last wild card spot.
Its going to be one HELL of great football Sunday! Now onto the power rankings for this week. Once again this is based on how the team would fair against a coked up swamp rat trying to protect her young, while constipated.
The Opps I Crapped my Pants Tier
32. Miami Dolphins 0-13 - I know they might be the worst team ever, but you are really going to first Cam Camron after 1 season? Give him at least one more shot.
31. San Francisco 49ers 3-10 - I am sad that Alex Smith didn't work out. I kinda liked that kid.
30. New York Jets 3-10 - I really like the idea that New England shouldn't even suit up a punter for this weeks game. Good line Bill.
Showing Signs that Next Year Could be Better Tier
29. St. Louis Rams 3-10 - This might be a good thing for the Rams. This team was ROCKED by hurt people, now they are going to get a solid pick from the draft. Watch out next year.
28. Atlanta Falcons 3-10 - Well, screw me, Chris Redman wasn't that bad. And a side note, I had to change the stations when Arther Blank made the statement about as long as Vick doesn't go "crazy with the Fried Chicken and Fries," he wouldn't be apposed to letting him back on the team. Uncomfortable.
27. Carolina Panthers 5-8 - See, I told you they should have taken a QB last year in the first round. Brady Quinn would have this team in the playoffs.
I Few Key Players Away Tier
26. Kansas City Chiefs 4-9 - No Larry, no playoffs, and probably, no Herm next year. It all makes me sad.
25. Chicago Bears 5-8 - Thinking back, this is what the Bears do. They are really good, then just OK, then bad, then really good again. All in 3 years.
The Should have been Better Tier
24. Baltimore Ravens 4-9 - The team has given up on its coach. Simple.
23. Oakland Raiders 4-9 - Doesn't really fit the tier. I think these guys are on the way up.
22. Philadelphia Eagles 5-8 - You know who I feel bad for? Brain Westbrook. If this team was 2 games better, he might be an MVP candidate. Now? Nobody cares.
21. Cincinnati Bengals 5-8 - Maybe this will be a wake up call for this team. If they don't make noise in the playoffs next year, Marvin will be gone.
The Playoff Circle Jerk Tier
20. Detroit Lions 6-7 - So, you can't get to 10 wins anymore. Sorry bout ya Jon. Now the question is, can they win one more game.
19. Arizona Cardinals 6-7 - Fun Fun game this week. They need to win, and I hope Robo Jesus Arm comes's through.
18. Washington Redskins 6-7 - Very solid win over the Bears. Need to ride that high this week.
17. Denver Broncos 6-7 - Jay Cutler, right on man. I know a certain friend of mine who will be wearing his oneze this week.
16. Houston Texans 6-7 - Every time I write this team off, they come and push forward. If Andre Johnson didn't get hurt this year, he would be right up there with Moss and TO.
15. New Orleans Saints 6-7 - Well, take a fancy toy away from a kid and he will have just as much fun just playing in the yard. The fancy toy is Reggie Bush, now that he is done for the year, PCL, Sean Payton can't over think his dumb ass.
14. Buffalo Bills 7-6 - So, the Bills still have a shot? I don't understand the team, except they play hard, and with a few bounces their way, they would be 9-4. Crazy.
13. Tennessee Titans 7-6 - Despite the loss to Sand Diego, with Hanseyworth back on the D-Line, in my opinion this team has the best shot to get in out of all these teams.
The I Can't Believe This Team is this Good Tier
12. Minnesota Vikings 7-6 - Every game I expect Travis to fuck up. Welp, that gansta ass just won't do it. Even when Adrian goes for like 10 yards, they win. I don't want to play this team.
Holds Their Own Destiny Tier
11. New York Giants 9-4 - Every time i watch these guys play, I don't see how they are 9-4. They seem to get out played every game, yet they win. Fuck if i know.
10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 8-5 - The great unknown. Much like Kansas and Missouri from college football, this team kinda came out of nowhere, and they need to be put back in their place. But its not going to happen.
9. Cleveland Browns 8-5 - Is this team coming back down to earth a little bit? They barley beat the Jets. But a win is a win, and they are only 1 game back of Pitt with 3 left. Still got a shot at a home playoff game.
Won't Win it all, but will make some noise in the Playoffs Tier
8. Seattle Seahawks 9-4 - Mat Hassellquarterback has been just bad ass these last few weeks. If he keeps playing like this, and the coach doesn't shoot em in the foot, watch out Green Bay or Dallas
7. Pittsburgh Steelers 9-4 - This was the team that was going to beat New England huh? So the reason I don't have team higher is I still don't know who they are. Last 3 games are like this. Bad Weather win, Bad Field Win, and Blown out by the Pats. Need we start the "Overrated" chant?
6. San Diego Chargers 8-5 - If this team doesn't win at least 1 playoff game, I expect LDT to "hot Carl" Phill Rivers after the loss.
5. Jacksonville Jaguars 9-4 - This team is about to jump to the next tier, but the lack to winning a big game is hurting them. They will get there shot on the road, during the playoffs. I would love to see Jacksonville @ San Diego in the first round.
Top of Conference Teams
4. Green Bay Packers 11-2 - They rolled the lowly Raiders. As they should. Of all the teams already in the playoffs, this is the one that i think could get beat early.
3. Indianapolis Colts 11-2 - Watch out, they are getting healthy. Still has the best shot to beat the pats.
2. Dallas Cowboys 12-1 - Won a game they shouldn't have. That's what good teams do. The thing that I liked the most about the game, the adjustments at half time. What I didn't like was the defense as a whole.
Best Ever Tier, again
1. New England Patriots 12-0 - Well, it seams the only reason the other games were close these past few weeks is they didn't have anything to get for. They did this week, and they rolled. They have a reason again this week because its against the team that started the whole cheating thing. They will the last game because of a shot at 16-0. Team with the chance to beat them over the next 3 weeks? Miami. Yup. Its going to happen.
Well once again i have wasted not only my time in writing this, but yours by reading. I am sorry. I still love you though.
The Brown Five - 12/11/07
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Already with the "Free Mike Vick"
I was watching the MNF program last night, and saw a signed poster of Vick held up by DeAngelo Hall and a tshirt on Roddy White that said "Free Michael Vick". All of it punctuated by Arthur Blank more or less saying, "sure he can come back when he's free". And Vick is the one who goes to prison for teaching kids the wrong lesson.
2) Lions looking to move Shaun Rogers
A freak of nature from Texas, Shaun Rogers is a young, fantastic nose tackle that could play in a 3-4 defense. People argue that he's sluggish and not motivated (see: Davis, Leonard) , but you can't blame him for not being motivated, he plays in Detroit. I'm being a homer here, but if, you know, Dallas wants a nose tackle to replace Jason Ferguson and want a deep threat wide receiver to replace Terry Glenn...well there are two Texas greats in Detroit who are looking to move. Shaun Rogers and the REAL Roy Williams sure would look good with stars on their helmets.
3) Milton Bradley to the Rangers
This? This is the big off season manuever that Jon Daniels is going to hang his hat on? I'm ready to hand over my fan card and just start watching the RoughRiders or something. Sure, he's a solid outfielder, but he's the definition of bat shit crazy and there is no one in the Ranger clubhouse to control him. This is not Terrell Owens or Tank Johnson, this is a whole new level of crazy.
4) What to expect when you're expecting?
The Mitchell Report is due, well, any time now. There's supposed to be names named and all kind of admissions. This is going to do one of two things. It's either going to sink baseball by having fans get the proof they need to say "I'm not watching", or people are going to ignore it like any other story that's hot for a week and then dies. I'm thinking the latter.
5) More proof the Nationals need a reality show
They just signed Paul Lo Duca. That's a clubhouse that has Lo Duca, Elijah Dukes, Lastings Milledge, and Dmitri Young. Can we get them all black and white nWo shirts and treat this like wrestling? PLEASE?? Can we bring "Hard Knocks" to baseball and see how long before they have Russian Roullette style show downs a la "The Deer Hunter"? I can just see Elijah Dukes, "DIDDY MAO!!! AND I AIN'T EVEN BULLSHITTIN'!!"
1) Already with the "Free Mike Vick"
I was watching the MNF program last night, and saw a signed poster of Vick held up by DeAngelo Hall and a tshirt on Roddy White that said "Free Michael Vick". All of it punctuated by Arthur Blank more or less saying, "sure he can come back when he's free". And Vick is the one who goes to prison for teaching kids the wrong lesson.
2) Lions looking to move Shaun Rogers
A freak of nature from Texas, Shaun Rogers is a young, fantastic nose tackle that could play in a 3-4 defense. People argue that he's sluggish and not motivated (see: Davis, Leonard) , but you can't blame him for not being motivated, he plays in Detroit. I'm being a homer here, but if, you know, Dallas wants a nose tackle to replace Jason Ferguson and want a deep threat wide receiver to replace Terry Glenn...well there are two Texas greats in Detroit who are looking to move. Shaun Rogers and the REAL Roy Williams sure would look good with stars on their helmets.
3) Milton Bradley to the Rangers
This? This is the big off season manuever that Jon Daniels is going to hang his hat on? I'm ready to hand over my fan card and just start watching the RoughRiders or something. Sure, he's a solid outfielder, but he's the definition of bat shit crazy and there is no one in the Ranger clubhouse to control him. This is not Terrell Owens or Tank Johnson, this is a whole new level of crazy.
4) What to expect when you're expecting?
The Mitchell Report is due, well, any time now. There's supposed to be names named and all kind of admissions. This is going to do one of two things. It's either going to sink baseball by having fans get the proof they need to say "I'm not watching", or people are going to ignore it like any other story that's hot for a week and then dies. I'm thinking the latter.
5) More proof the Nationals need a reality show
They just signed Paul Lo Duca. That's a clubhouse that has Lo Duca, Elijah Dukes, Lastings Milledge, and Dmitri Young. Can we get them all black and white nWo shirts and treat this like wrestling? PLEASE?? Can we bring "Hard Knocks" to baseball and see how long before they have Russian Roullette style show downs a la "The Deer Hunter"? I can just see Elijah Dukes, "DIDDY MAO!!! AND I AIN'T EVEN BULLSHITTIN'!!"
Monday, December 10, 2007
Wait, what?
Okay, I've made no secret of the fact that I hate Boston. I actually have nothing against the city itself, and find it quite charming, actually, but the sports fans and the local sports scene makes me want to Gus Frerotte myself to non existence.
I think it's hilarious that Drew at KSK is begging someone to break Tom Brady's leg. I think it's funny that everyone has pretty much forgotten about the Yankees and Steinbrenner and now see the Red Sox as the new Evil Empire. I'm even pretty sure Mexican people hate the New England Revolution, but I can't really verify that one.
Strangely enough, the one sports team in Boston that I don't hate, is the one that, for all intents and purposes, has been the most successful: the Boston Celtics. Sure, I'd like to punch Bill Simmons in the throat for some of his articles, but all things considered, I really like this Celtics team.
It might be Kevin Garnett (it is), it might be Ray Allen (it is), it might be Paul Pierce (it is). I actually think my secret love affair with the Celtics (not to dissuade the Mavericks...to quote Eddie Murphy, "that's right! I FUCKED HER! But I made LOVE TO YOU!!) is based on the fact that Daniel Stern did a little movie named "Celtic Pride" where he kidnapped Damon Wayans or something.
Not to get lost on a Daniel Stern tangent, which I tend to do, I can see, given the nature of Boston sports, people will hate the Celtics also. The LAST organization I'd expect to hate on them would be ESPN. See exhibit A, a poll that was on Page 2:
What. The. Fuck.
Kevin Garnett is one of the most likeable guys in the entire NBA! Why would you wish any kind of harm on him? Shit, if Peter King has taught me anything besides carmel machiattos are better than pumpkin lattes (seriously, this guy needs to order plain coffee or pull his tampon out) it's that people in Connecticut are supposed to be Boston fans!
I'm a little surprised ESPN would allow this, but they are offering the normal "we condemn this and apologize".
For shame, ESPN. I bite my thumb at thee.
I think it's hilarious that Drew at KSK is begging someone to break Tom Brady's leg. I think it's funny that everyone has pretty much forgotten about the Yankees and Steinbrenner and now see the Red Sox as the new Evil Empire. I'm even pretty sure Mexican people hate the New England Revolution, but I can't really verify that one.
Strangely enough, the one sports team in Boston that I don't hate, is the one that, for all intents and purposes, has been the most successful: the Boston Celtics. Sure, I'd like to punch Bill Simmons in the throat for some of his articles, but all things considered, I really like this Celtics team.
It might be Kevin Garnett (it is), it might be Ray Allen (it is), it might be Paul Pierce (it is). I actually think my secret love affair with the Celtics (not to dissuade the Mavericks...to quote Eddie Murphy, "that's right! I FUCKED HER! But I made LOVE TO YOU!!) is based on the fact that Daniel Stern did a little movie named "Celtic Pride" where he kidnapped Damon Wayans or something.
Not to get lost on a Daniel Stern tangent, which I tend to do, I can see, given the nature of Boston sports, people will hate the Celtics also. The LAST organization I'd expect to hate on them would be ESPN. See exhibit A, a poll that was on Page 2:
What. The. Fuck.
Kevin Garnett is one of the most likeable guys in the entire NBA! Why would you wish any kind of harm on him? Shit, if Peter King has taught me anything besides carmel machiattos are better than pumpkin lattes (seriously, this guy needs to order plain coffee or pull his tampon out) it's that people in Connecticut are supposed to be Boston fans!
I'm a little surprised ESPN would allow this, but they are offering the normal "we condemn this and apologize".
For shame, ESPN. I bite my thumb at thee.
The Brown Five - 12/10/07
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Mike Vick...how long?
Today is the day that Michael Vick is going to get sentenced for the entire dog fighting embroglio from the summer. According to some news this morning, the government is going to say he did not cooperate with officials. This is baad news for Vick, so it'll be interesting how things turn out. I'm thinking "The Longest Yard".
UPDATE: Mike Vick has been sentence to 23 months in jail. That's 6 months longer than what was believed to be the case. Forget the NFL, Mike, just watch your corn hole.
2) Tebow...shocking (not really)
Tim Tebow became the first sophomore to win the Heisman this weekend. I haven't really got a lot to add here that I haven't already done, so, uh, congratulations, Tim Tebow, you might just become the next Danny Wuerffel after all.
3) Witten...hard hitten
Well, not to insult the Billy Joe Dupree or Jay Novacek fans here, but Jason Witten has established himself as the best Dallas Cowboys tight end in history (insert gay man voice: "nuh uh, it's Troy Aikman, girlfriend!). Witten was a man-child yesterday carving the Lions defense while they spent time doubling Owens. He made up for his fumble by scoring the winning touchdown. He's the Han Solo to Tony Romo's jedi knight.
4) Fred Taylor...curious
I really have only one question here, and I think it's something to think about: How good of a running back, stat-wise or production effect-wise, would Fred Taylor be/have been if his hamstrings, groin and thighs weren't made of styrofoam packing peanuts. He passed two guys on the all-time rushing list this weekend, and it seems with the addition of Jones-Drew, Taylor can be what he is...but with the injury plagued seasons before, you wonder what his number COULD be.
5) Josh Howard...still underrated?
As a life long Maverick fan, I've lived and died with the team (mostly died given their history). I'm a huge Dirk fan, and you can read that in most of my postings. However, Tom Ziller over at FanHouse has a very interesting theory developing...read his entry and tell me if you agree: Is Josh Howard the best Dallas Maverick?
1) Mike Vick...how long?
Today is the day that Michael Vick is going to get sentenced for the entire dog fighting embroglio from the summer. According to some news this morning, the government is going to say he did not cooperate with officials. This is baad news for Vick, so it'll be interesting how things turn out. I'm thinking "The Longest Yard".
UPDATE: Mike Vick has been sentence to 23 months in jail. That's 6 months longer than what was believed to be the case. Forget the NFL, Mike, just watch your corn hole.
2) Tebow...shocking (not really)
Tim Tebow became the first sophomore to win the Heisman this weekend. I haven't really got a lot to add here that I haven't already done, so, uh, congratulations, Tim Tebow, you might just become the next Danny Wuerffel after all.
3) Witten...hard hitten
Well, not to insult the Billy Joe Dupree or Jay Novacek fans here, but Jason Witten has established himself as the best Dallas Cowboys tight end in history (insert gay man voice: "nuh uh, it's Troy Aikman, girlfriend!). Witten was a man-child yesterday carving the Lions defense while they spent time doubling Owens. He made up for his fumble by scoring the winning touchdown. He's the Han Solo to Tony Romo's jedi knight.
4) Fred Taylor...curious
I really have only one question here, and I think it's something to think about: How good of a running back, stat-wise or production effect-wise, would Fred Taylor be/have been if his hamstrings, groin and thighs weren't made of styrofoam packing peanuts. He passed two guys on the all-time rushing list this weekend, and it seems with the addition of Jones-Drew, Taylor can be what he is...but with the injury plagued seasons before, you wonder what his number COULD be.
5) Josh Howard...still underrated?
As a life long Maverick fan, I've lived and died with the team (mostly died given their history). I'm a huge Dirk fan, and you can read that in most of my postings. However, Tom Ziller over at FanHouse has a very interesting theory developing...read his entry and tell me if you agree: Is Josh Howard the best Dallas Maverick?
Friday, December 7, 2007
New Sportscenter Commercial
The newest "This is Sportcenter" commercial has been leaked...
I gotta say, this is the best thing ESPN has going for it. Sure, the content of programming on on-air talent has dropped, but these commercials have been golden forever.
My favorite is Brutus the Buckeye doing everything the anchors are doing.
Make sure you check out the one-hour special about the commercials...
I gotta say, this is the best thing ESPN has going for it. Sure, the content of programming on on-air talent has dropped, but these commercials have been golden forever.
My favorite is Brutus the Buckeye doing everything the anchors are doing.
Make sure you check out the one-hour special about the commercials...
"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest
I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.
"I want prune juice, now!!"
"I want prune juice, now!!"
Brown's Bitch of the Week
I complain a lot. Really, I do. Why? I'm a crabby 60 year old man in a 25 year old body, I guess. I hate a lot of things in life, Big included. Every week I'm going to take the thing that bothers me the most and bitch about it. I don't give a flying fuck if you read it. If I think the internet is good for cathartic needs, who are you to judge? Ass hat.
This week's bitch: Teenagers.
I remember being a teenager not that long ago. World was easy then, wasn't it? No responsibilities, no money problems, school was a joke, Natural Light tasted like the best thing on the planet, you know, less is more.
I was probably more of a cynical ass hole then versus now (yeah, right).
(Yes, I understand the irony that I was this person not but a few years ago, but you know what? I have a mortgage, a car payment, a bad shoulder, bad knees and I'm pretty sure an ulcer, none of which I had a few years ago. Blow me.)
Anyways, when I look at teenagers now, be it at the mall or elsewhere, I get this sudden urge to take their head and smash it through a plate glass window.
No one likes teenagers, period. No one.
They're smug little ass holes who live on their parents' pay rolls and think they know everything there is to know. I don't know a god damned thing, and I'm supposed to believe some bastard of a 15 year old does?
They listen to crappy music, where stupid clothing and somehow think emulating people on "the Hills" is the way to live life. Welcome to reality you cock sucking whores.
When I see a kid on heelies, I want to push them over. When I see a young girl in clothing I'm not sure I'd see outside of The Lodge, I hope her car breaks down off of Northwest Highway and 35 at 2 AM. When I see anyone with a faux-hawk or intentionally ripped jeans, I want to punt them as far as my left foot can kick.
Congratulations, youth of America. It's because of you and you're stupid way of doing things that I hope no one ever has kids again.
I don't actually condone violence of any kind...unless it's against those emo punks who wear impossibly tight jeans with Chuck Taylors and a mother fucking duster jacket. What in the fuck has gone so wrong for you by the age of 15 that you're rebelling against the world? Go have a bag of Teddy Graham's and take a nap.
This week's bitch: Teenagers.
I remember being a teenager not that long ago. World was easy then, wasn't it? No responsibilities, no money problems, school was a joke, Natural Light tasted like the best thing on the planet, you know, less is more.
I was probably more of a cynical ass hole then versus now (yeah, right).
(Yes, I understand the irony that I was this person not but a few years ago, but you know what? I have a mortgage, a car payment, a bad shoulder, bad knees and I'm pretty sure an ulcer, none of which I had a few years ago. Blow me.)
Anyways, when I look at teenagers now, be it at the mall or elsewhere, I get this sudden urge to take their head and smash it through a plate glass window.
No one likes teenagers, period. No one.
They're smug little ass holes who live on their parents' pay rolls and think they know everything there is to know. I don't know a god damned thing, and I'm supposed to believe some bastard of a 15 year old does?
They listen to crappy music, where stupid clothing and somehow think emulating people on "the Hills" is the way to live life. Welcome to reality you cock sucking whores.
When I see a kid on heelies, I want to push them over. When I see a young girl in clothing I'm not sure I'd see outside of The Lodge, I hope her car breaks down off of Northwest Highway and 35 at 2 AM. When I see anyone with a faux-hawk or intentionally ripped jeans, I want to punt them as far as my left foot can kick.
Congratulations, youth of America. It's because of you and you're stupid way of doing things that I hope no one ever has kids again.
I don't actually condone violence of any kind...unless it's against those emo punks who wear impossibly tight jeans with Chuck Taylors and a mother fucking duster jacket. What in the fuck has gone so wrong for you by the age of 15 that you're rebelling against the world? Go have a bag of Teddy Graham's and take a nap.
The Brown Five - 12/7/07
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Avery Johnson
Thinking about what to call here, coach? Thinking about a run with Terry with a kick out to Stackhouse? I bet you are, little man. Let me give you a piece of advice. You see that big strong German man wearing a #41 over there? You know, the one who averages a double double and won an MVP last year? The guy who's had open looks, yet hasn't touched the ball in the last few minutes? The one you, apparently, think has a problem with your Jewish owner? The only good player on your team right now? THE ONE YOU HAD DROPPING 31 WHEN THE REST OF YOUR TEAM COULDN'T BUY A BUCKET? Here's an idea for you: PUT THE FUCKING BALL IN DIRK'S HANDS.
2) Barry Bonds
Okay, I get it, you want to play still. Understood. You want to go somewhere and increase your record so A-Rod can't break it (though you know he will.) Billy Beane across the bay has decided he might even sign you because no one outside of that area of the country can stand you. Maybe you forgot something, YOU'RE GOING TO BE GOING TO JAIL SOON YOU PUMPED UP LAB RAT! Honestly, who's going to sign you with your legal issues and the fact that Bud Selig wants to distance from you like you've got leperacy?
3) Johan Santana
So, you don't want to pitch in Minnesota anymore because you want to win a title. You want to go to the AL East where you can dominate in a big market. You want $25 million a year...A-Rod "I can fuck muscled women all I want" money. Good luck, buddy, that's a lot of hooch.
4) Vinny Testaverde
Oh Jesus, you want to play next year too? At age 45?? You'll literally be more than twice the age of incoming rookies. That is unbelievable. How is it possible that NO ONE questions you're on steroids, Vinny. You're strength coach says you haven't lost any strength in 13 years. God damn it, I don't go to the gym in a week and I feel like a little girl when I go back. I hate you, Vinny, I hate you so much.
5) The Big and The Brown
That's 50 posts, boys. I had this thing petering out around 5. Well, done. We've even got some regular readers. Hooray for us.
1) Avery Johnson
Thinking about what to call here, coach? Thinking about a run with Terry with a kick out to Stackhouse? I bet you are, little man. Let me give you a piece of advice. You see that big strong German man wearing a #41 over there? You know, the one who averages a double double and won an MVP last year? The guy who's had open looks, yet hasn't touched the ball in the last few minutes? The one you, apparently, think has a problem with your Jewish owner? The only good player on your team right now? THE ONE YOU HAD DROPPING 31 WHEN THE REST OF YOUR TEAM COULDN'T BUY A BUCKET? Here's an idea for you: PUT THE FUCKING BALL IN DIRK'S HANDS.
2) Barry Bonds
Okay, I get it, you want to play still. Understood. You want to go somewhere and increase your record so A-Rod can't break it (though you know he will.) Billy Beane across the bay has decided he might even sign you because no one outside of that area of the country can stand you. Maybe you forgot something, YOU'RE GOING TO BE GOING TO JAIL SOON YOU PUMPED UP LAB RAT! Honestly, who's going to sign you with your legal issues and the fact that Bud Selig wants to distance from you like you've got leperacy?
3) Johan Santana
So, you don't want to pitch in Minnesota anymore because you want to win a title. You want to go to the AL East where you can dominate in a big market. You want $25 million a year...A-Rod "I can fuck muscled women all I want" money. Good luck, buddy, that's a lot of hooch.
4) Vinny Testaverde
Oh Jesus, you want to play next year too? At age 45?? You'll literally be more than twice the age of incoming rookies. That is unbelievable. How is it possible that NO ONE questions you're on steroids, Vinny. You're strength coach says you haven't lost any strength in 13 years. God damn it, I don't go to the gym in a week and I feel like a little girl when I go back. I hate you, Vinny, I hate you so much.
5) The Big and The Brown
That's 50 posts, boys. I had this thing petering out around 5. Well, done. We've even got some regular readers. Hooray for us.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Coach THIS!
One of the better parts about college football is that its made for the ADD fan. We get different teams every year for the most part, different players, and if your team sucks, different coaches. This year is no exception. With the Bowl season about set to begin in a few weeks, the AD's and alumni have already began to "restore the luster" of some programs with new coaches. Here is a look at some of the new ones already grabbed, and my take on them.
Baylor - Out is Guy Morriss and in is the coach from Houston Art Briles. This might be my 2nd or 3rd favorite move so far this year. Art Briles put a system in down in Houston that brought that below average team to an average team, that competed for the WAC. Baylor is just the kind of squad that Briles can use to keep his stock going up as a coach. He doesn't need to win big here, just get to a bowl and once in a while upset some big schools. Morriss did a decent job getting better talent into Baylor, but he just couldn't win games.
Ole Miss - Out is Ed Oregon and in is Houston Nutt. Nutt was in Arkansas but never won big there. Nutt is cut from the R.C. mold. He may not ever be good enough to win a nations championship, but you can pretty much bet on a 7 win season every year. Right now, that's what Ole Miss needs.
Nebraska - Well say good bye to the offencive genius Bill Callahan and hello to one of the best young defensive guys out there, Bo Pelini from LSU. There is no doubt that this guys can coach defence, the main question is can he recruit, and can he bring in an offencive guy that will help this team continue to more forward on the other side of the ball. The good news is this team has some pretty good offensive players, so if he can coach up the d, 10 wins next year isn't out of the question.
Texas A&M - Fran was a flop. Enter former cheese head Mike Sherman. Good news, Sherman will install a pro style offence that will make A&M a nice choice for recruits who want to turn pro. Bad news, he has no head coaching experience in the college ranks. He did pretty well up in Green Bay, 57-39, so you know he can coach. Recruiting will be a different story. This might be a Charlie Wise like move where you get a great Coach, but maybe not the best recruiter. This team could challenge for the next for the south, if they can get some speed on defence.
There is still so much to be played out over the next month, and coaches will be jumping ship from left to right. These are the teams, and the type of coach they need.
Michigan - As big of a name as this team is, this might be one of the worst coach jobs to have. Reason is they need a big name who will win now, and win often. Who ever takes this job will have 3 jobs, and they will be in this order. Beat Ohio State, Win Big Ten, Win it all. Piece of cake.
Prediction - Les Miles. They will have a trow a ASS TON of money, but its either this guy or go get an NFL man. Maybe Butch Davis?
UCLA - This team either underachieves or is overrated every year. They need someone who can shake things up a bit and i have the perfect guy for em. Mike Leach, from Texas Tech. Whats the biggest problem with Tech, they can't recruit defence. Well, if you are coaching UCLA, now you can. I really think he could win a nation title here. Mark it.
Georgia Tech - I don't know why this team fired Chan Gailey. So he didn't beat Georgia, he lead this team to bowl game after bowl game. I really think too many people think their team should be a top 3 program. Not gonna happen. I have no clue what these guys wanna do.
Arkansas - Same as Georgia Tech. The same.
Washington State - Not going to pretend to know a lot about Bill Doba and Wassu, but its a middle to bottom of the pack ten program that is second fiddle in the state. Your not going to get any big name guys here. They should look for a solid young, up and comer.
SMU - The last one i am going to talk about. I don't really know why people around Dallas think this is such a great job. I have heard names such as Nutt, Briles, even Mike Singeltary. The latest one is Paul Johnson from Navy. While Johnson is one hell of a coach, i don't know if the SMU job is better than the Navy job. If they get Johnson go for it. If they can't, I would like to suggest going after Fran, or getting Texas Legend Major Applewhite. I don't really know how Brown would take that, seeings as the man crush between him and "the" Major is akin to Wade Phillips love of cheeseburgers, but I bet he might buy one pony hat.
Well just some rambling from a semi sane big guy who loves college football. As always comments are welcome and will be shot down as I please.
Baylor - Out is Guy Morriss and in is the coach from Houston Art Briles. This might be my 2nd or 3rd favorite move so far this year. Art Briles put a system in down in Houston that brought that below average team to an average team, that competed for the WAC. Baylor is just the kind of squad that Briles can use to keep his stock going up as a coach. He doesn't need to win big here, just get to a bowl and once in a while upset some big schools. Morriss did a decent job getting better talent into Baylor, but he just couldn't win games.
Ole Miss - Out is Ed Oregon and in is Houston Nutt. Nutt was in Arkansas but never won big there. Nutt is cut from the R.C. mold. He may not ever be good enough to win a nations championship, but you can pretty much bet on a 7 win season every year. Right now, that's what Ole Miss needs.
Nebraska - Well say good bye to the offencive genius Bill Callahan and hello to one of the best young defensive guys out there, Bo Pelini from LSU. There is no doubt that this guys can coach defence, the main question is can he recruit, and can he bring in an offencive guy that will help this team continue to more forward on the other side of the ball. The good news is this team has some pretty good offensive players, so if he can coach up the d, 10 wins next year isn't out of the question.
Texas A&M - Fran was a flop. Enter former cheese head Mike Sherman. Good news, Sherman will install a pro style offence that will make A&M a nice choice for recruits who want to turn pro. Bad news, he has no head coaching experience in the college ranks. He did pretty well up in Green Bay, 57-39, so you know he can coach. Recruiting will be a different story. This might be a Charlie Wise like move where you get a great Coach, but maybe not the best recruiter. This team could challenge for the next for the south, if they can get some speed on defence.
There is still so much to be played out over the next month, and coaches will be jumping ship from left to right. These are the teams, and the type of coach they need.
Michigan - As big of a name as this team is, this might be one of the worst coach jobs to have. Reason is they need a big name who will win now, and win often. Who ever takes this job will have 3 jobs, and they will be in this order. Beat Ohio State, Win Big Ten, Win it all. Piece of cake.
Prediction - Les Miles. They will have a trow a ASS TON of money, but its either this guy or go get an NFL man. Maybe Butch Davis?
UCLA - This team either underachieves or is overrated every year. They need someone who can shake things up a bit and i have the perfect guy for em. Mike Leach, from Texas Tech. Whats the biggest problem with Tech, they can't recruit defence. Well, if you are coaching UCLA, now you can. I really think he could win a nation title here. Mark it.
Georgia Tech - I don't know why this team fired Chan Gailey. So he didn't beat Georgia, he lead this team to bowl game after bowl game. I really think too many people think their team should be a top 3 program. Not gonna happen. I have no clue what these guys wanna do.
Arkansas - Same as Georgia Tech. The same.
Washington State - Not going to pretend to know a lot about Bill Doba and Wassu, but its a middle to bottom of the pack ten program that is second fiddle in the state. Your not going to get any big name guys here. They should look for a solid young, up and comer.
SMU - The last one i am going to talk about. I don't really know why people around Dallas think this is such a great job. I have heard names such as Nutt, Briles, even Mike Singeltary. The latest one is Paul Johnson from Navy. While Johnson is one hell of a coach, i don't know if the SMU job is better than the Navy job. If they get Johnson go for it. If they can't, I would like to suggest going after Fran, or getting Texas Legend Major Applewhite. I don't really know how Brown would take that, seeings as the man crush between him and "the" Major is akin to Wade Phillips love of cheeseburgers, but I bet he might buy one pony hat.
Well just some rambling from a semi sane big guy who loves college football. As always comments are welcome and will be shot down as I please.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
I told you!
See? In my old MySpace blog, I called it. Watch Caron Butler, he's gonna go off this year. Gilbert went down, but Butler and Jamison are more than picking up for him.
Now?? Butler still has his "chewing straws" habit, but he's kicking the big one: Mountain Dew.
Now?? Butler still has his "chewing straws" habit, but he's kicking the big one: Mountain Dew.
"Yeah, I'd be wired," Butler confirmed. "I'd drink half [before the game], and then I'd drink half at halftime. Because, you know, it shoots you up. And then there's a down, and you're flat-lining, and you've got to go back up again. That's what I've been doing, but they don't want me to drink it any more. They done took my Mountain Dew from me."If Butler puts down the straw as well as the Mountain Dew? MVP and Championship, mark it.
The Brown Five - 12/5/07
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Varejao is a BobCav!
Huh? Anderson "Sideshow Bob" Varejao signed an offer sheet with the Charlotte Bobcats, but he did it so he could play with the Cavaliers. Right. Apparently, he signed a decent enough deal to be matched by the Cavs and they're going to do it, so because of that he signed in Charlotte to play in Cleveland. I hate this kind of contract stuff. It's why the trade calculation machine at ESPN.com exists...no one understands it.
2) Travis Henry Wins!
I didn't think it was possible, but someone won an appeal against the NFL. He successfully overturned his one year suspension by filing a lawsuit against the leage contending it violated its own testing procedures. It's good news for the Denver in that it gives them one more running back in their platoon.
3) This guy is fucking crazy
Proof that you need to look a little past numbers. Statistician David Berri has decided that Andrew Bynum is better than Kobe Bryant right now, and Bynum should be the one demanding a trade: Bryant for Jason Kidd straight up. I really don't know how to explain this, so I'll just link the article.
4) Billy King was fired, now what?!
Rumor is now, they're going to get rid of Mo Cheeks. Cheeks is in the final year of his contract, and hasn't received any assurance he's gonna continue his job. My prediction? He's so gone.
5) The Mitchell Report, look for it this Christmas!
The biggest comedy is that all these moves that happen during the winter meetings might blow up in people's faces when the players' names show up on the report.
1) Varejao is a BobCav!
Huh? Anderson "Sideshow Bob" Varejao signed an offer sheet with the Charlotte Bobcats, but he did it so he could play with the Cavaliers. Right. Apparently, he signed a decent enough deal to be matched by the Cavs and they're going to do it, so because of that he signed in Charlotte to play in Cleveland. I hate this kind of contract stuff. It's why the trade calculation machine at ESPN.com exists...no one understands it.
2) Travis Henry Wins!
I didn't think it was possible, but someone won an appeal against the NFL. He successfully overturned his one year suspension by filing a lawsuit against the leage contending it violated its own testing procedures. It's good news for the Denver in that it gives them one more running back in their platoon.
3) This guy is fucking crazy
Proof that you need to look a little past numbers. Statistician David Berri has decided that Andrew Bynum is better than Kobe Bryant right now, and Bynum should be the one demanding a trade: Bryant for Jason Kidd straight up. I really don't know how to explain this, so I'll just link the article.
4) Billy King was fired, now what?!
Rumor is now, they're going to get rid of Mo Cheeks. Cheeks is in the final year of his contract, and hasn't received any assurance he's gonna continue his job. My prediction? He's so gone.
5) The Mitchell Report, look for it this Christmas!
The biggest comedy is that all these moves that happen during the winter meetings might blow up in people's faces when the players' names show up on the report.
Trade Alert!!
Jeezum Christ, the first big blockbuster trade has happened.
Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis are being traded to Detroit for Cameron Maybin, Andrew Miller, a catcher and three minor leaguers.
Good. God.
Cabrera's a 24 year old phenom. He's a little overweight, but his numbers sure do make up for it. His bat in a lineup that has Sheffield, Magglio, Granderson, Guillen, and Polanco? Holy crap.
Willis was second in the Cy Young voting 2 years ago. He's tailed off a bit these past years, but he's probably been beaten by the Marlins trading everyone or letting a guy like Girardi go, or just always being on the trading block. He does get to be caught by Pudge who was catching Willis during his best years, don't count that out.
The Marlin's, well only time is gonna tell. The old adage always says "don't trade the young provens for the unprovens", but in the case of Florida that's rebuliding completely, this is actually a pretty good move. From what I read, these prospects are pretty solid and promising.
This marks the exit of every single player from the Marlins World Series win.
What does it mean for the Rangers? Shit if I know. I'm starting to wonder if Jon Daniels forgot about the winter meetings or something.
Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis are being traded to Detroit for Cameron Maybin, Andrew Miller, a catcher and three minor leaguers.
Good. God.
Cabrera's a 24 year old phenom. He's a little overweight, but his numbers sure do make up for it. His bat in a lineup that has Sheffield, Magglio, Granderson, Guillen, and Polanco? Holy crap.
Willis was second in the Cy Young voting 2 years ago. He's tailed off a bit these past years, but he's probably been beaten by the Marlins trading everyone or letting a guy like Girardi go, or just always being on the trading block. He does get to be caught by Pudge who was catching Willis during his best years, don't count that out.
The Marlin's, well only time is gonna tell. The old adage always says "don't trade the young provens for the unprovens", but in the case of Florida that's rebuliding completely, this is actually a pretty good move. From what I read, these prospects are pretty solid and promising.
This marks the exit of every single player from the Marlins World Series win.
What does it mean for the Rangers? Shit if I know. I'm starting to wonder if Jon Daniels forgot about the winter meetings or something.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Big Pimpin up in the Sky
Just a short little thing here. Southern rapper Pimp C was found dead today. He was famous for being a part of the rap group UGK. He was one of the many people who came out of the South Texas music scene. That DJ Screw and Houston rap scene we all love or hate so much. His biggest hit was when he was featured on Jay Z's Big Pimpin. He is survived by his partner Bun B, but totally not in a gay way.
Power is in the Eye of......
Here we go. 4th quarter of the season. The playoff picture is starting to take shape. Two teams are in, New England and Dallas. A couple more could clinch this weekend. The division winners are almost a lock in most of the divisions, so before we look at this weeks rankings, lets take a gander at who the players are still in the playoff. First, the AFC
Division Front Runners (games in front) (1/2 games mean they hold the tie breaker)
East - New England 12-0 (a billion)
North - Pittsburgh 9-3 (2 1/2)
South - Indianapolis 10-2(2 1/2)
West - San Diego 7-5 (2)
Playoff Hopefuls
Jacksonville (8-4)
Tennessee (7-5)
Cleveland (7-5)
Buffalo (6-6)
Now there are some teams at 5-7 that could get in the mix if they win a couple more games, but right now these are the teams in the AFC. I like Jacksonville and Cleveland to surge forward.
NFC
East - Dallas 11-1 (3 1/2)
North - Green Bay 10-2 (4)
South - Tampa Bay 8-4 (3)
West - Seattle 8-4 (2)
Playoff Hopefulls
New York Giants 8-4
Arizona 6-6
Detroit 6-6
Minnesota 6-6
Then you have a BUNCH of teams at 5-7 that are still very much alive. Despite the Giants and there soon to be monumental free fall, they are pretty much in. If Minnesota keeps playing well, they are my pick to go as well, but don't count out Arizona, they don't have to play ANYBODY these last 4 weeks.
So with that little tidbit, here goes this weeks "power" ranking. Again the rating are based on how well this team would fair against a yetti who just had a condom full of coke explode in his belly.
The Opps I Crapped My Pants Tier
32. Miami Dolphins 0-12 - Really? that big of a loss to the Jets? Really
31. San Francisco 49ers 3-9 - They got rocked by the Panthers. Nice.
30. Atlanta Falcons 3-9 - Joey Blue Skis, Byron Leftwich, and now Chris Redman. Wow.
The "We are one good draft and few key free agents away" Tier (no your not)
29. New York Jets 3-9 - Can you really feel good about beating the Dolphins?
28. Carolina Panthers 5-7 - really sad that this team still has a shot at the playoffs.
27. Houston Texans 5-7 - Man, you get Andre Johnson back then you lose Shaub for the rest of the year. Good news is that Defencive front line is starting to really look good.
26. Kansas City Chiefs 4-8 - Starting to not look good for Herm. He might be on the way out. And that makes me sad.
Bad Records, but decent teams, could play spoiler the rest of the year tier
Division Front Runners (games in front) (1/2 games mean they hold the tie breaker)
East - New England 12-0 (a billion)
North - Pittsburgh 9-3 (2 1/2)
South - Indianapolis 10-2(2 1/2)
West - San Diego 7-5 (2)
Playoff Hopefuls
Jacksonville (8-4)
Tennessee (7-5)
Cleveland (7-5)
Buffalo (6-6)
Now there are some teams at 5-7 that could get in the mix if they win a couple more games, but right now these are the teams in the AFC. I like Jacksonville and Cleveland to surge forward.
NFC
East - Dallas 11-1 (3 1/2)
North - Green Bay 10-2 (4)
South - Tampa Bay 8-4 (3)
West - Seattle 8-4 (2)
Playoff Hopefulls
New York Giants 8-4
Arizona 6-6
Detroit 6-6
Minnesota 6-6
Then you have a BUNCH of teams at 5-7 that are still very much alive. Despite the Giants and there soon to be monumental free fall, they are pretty much in. If Minnesota keeps playing well, they are my pick to go as well, but don't count out Arizona, they don't have to play ANYBODY these last 4 weeks.
So with that little tidbit, here goes this weeks "power" ranking. Again the rating are based on how well this team would fair against a yetti who just had a condom full of coke explode in his belly.
The Opps I Crapped My Pants Tier
32. Miami Dolphins 0-12 - Really? that big of a loss to the Jets? Really
31. San Francisco 49ers 3-9 - They got rocked by the Panthers. Nice.
30. Atlanta Falcons 3-9 - Joey Blue Skis, Byron Leftwich, and now Chris Redman. Wow.
The "We are one good draft and few key free agents away" Tier (no your not)
29. New York Jets 3-9 - Can you really feel good about beating the Dolphins?
28. Carolina Panthers 5-7 - really sad that this team still has a shot at the playoffs.
27. Houston Texans 5-7 - Man, you get Andre Johnson back then you lose Shaub for the rest of the year. Good news is that Defencive front line is starting to really look good.
26. Kansas City Chiefs 4-8 - Starting to not look good for Herm. He might be on the way out. And that makes me sad.
Bad Records, but decent teams, could play spoiler the rest of the year tier
25. Philadelphia Eagles 5-7 - I still think McNugget is done as a QB for this team next year, but they might have won last week if he were in there, or if someone would have told Feeley that Tatupu wasn't on his team.
24. Oakland Raiders 4-8 - Two weeks in a row? Look at you!
23. St. Louis Rams 3-9 - When this team has S. Jax, they are a for real team. Even with the headbutt.
22. New Orleans Saints 5-7 - Will you now believe me that Sean Payton is not that "boy genius" that everyone made him out to be last year? A double reverse when you have the lead late in the 4th? Are you fucking kidding me?
The Bad Teams still holding on to playoff dreams Tier
21. Baltimore Ravens 4-8 - I can totally see Ed Reed and Ray Ray Lewis preforming a "code red" on their head coach.
20 Denver Broncos 5-7 - As soon I think, "You know what? Maybe i was wrong about Jay Cutler, he might have something." He goes and proves I was right all along. There is still time with this guys, but damn.
19. Cincinnati Bengals 4-8 - Lost to Pitt, but they now have San Fran and STL next. If they win both, then there might be some "whoooeeeewwwwwooooo" about them.
18. Washington Redskins 5-7 - Man, on a day where you thought they might have some good Carma, racing man Gibbs farts and falls down.
17. Chicago Bears 5-7 - The Cannon played much better than ol' Eli, but then couldn't come out with a win. Tis a shame.
The What, We really have a shot at playoffs? Tier.
16. Detroit Lions 6-6 - That makes 4 in a row they have dropped. They need to now win out to have Kitna's prediction come true. yea, good luck with that.
15. Buffalo Bills 6-6 - Trent Edwards or JP Losemen? Its this years Joey Blue Skies or Daunte Cullpepper.
14. Arizona Cardinals 6-6 - I really hope this team makes it. Don't know why, but they seem to just be wild ass enuf to do it.
13. New york Giants 8-4 - Had they not pulled that win over Chi town out of their ass, this team would be in full out panic mode. If Brandon Jacobs comes back that will help, but with D.Ward out, and if Jacobs doesn't play, Loss.
First Round of playoff loss is like getting a tug job only to have to finish yourself tier.
12. Minnesota Vikings 6-6 - This team is making some noise. Purple Jesus is back, Travis isn't sucking too bad. I'm not sayin', but I'm just sayin'.
11. Tennessee Titans 7-5 - I know we all love making fun of Rain Man Jones, but if he was on this team, they might be a top 5 team.
10. Cleveland Browns 7-5 - As soon as Brown and I jump on this band waggon, they lose. W.T.F.
9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 8-4 - These guys start the other McCown, and still win. Still wondering where Chris is these days. Is he even on the team?
Dangerous First Round Teams
8. Seattle Seahawks 8-4 - A lot of people are writing this team off as a pretender. Not me. They have a solid D, and a decent passing game. That means they can stay in any game. That's what you don't want to go against during the playoffs.
7. San Diego Chargers 7-5 - Shot at the Super Bowl? Nope. Shot at upsetting someone big? You bet.
6. Jacksonville Jaguars 8-4 - If I were New England, this is the team front the AFC i don't want to play. They are built for cold weather with good D and one hell of a running game.
The Don't forget about us, we are damn good too tier
5. Pittsburgh Steelers 9-3 - After the bad loss to the jets, they had 2 bad weather games and won them both, don't know what all the means, but we will find out a lot this weekend when they play New England.
4. Green Bay Packers 10-2 - They lost to the boys, but they did show some good fight. Might be a little bit different if they had KGB and Woodson, but we will never know. On a side note, good to see Scott Shap, former lead singer of creed is still working as the back up to Brett Farve. Wait, that's Aaron Rodgers? Really?
3. Indianapolis Colts 10-2 - The sleeping giant of the group. Hard to underrate the defending champs, but they might be a tad underrated.
The Top of the Heap
2. Dallas Cowboys 11-1 - I still can't believe how good this team is. I love it, but there is just something that doesn't feel right. Dammit i hope i am wrong.
1 New England Patriots 12-0 - Not worthy of their own tier anymore. 2 close wins will do that. They may not lose in the regular season, but I bet they don't win it all.
So that's it for this week. Good times. Keep it real and take it easy. Brown is mad at me cuz I'm so sexy, just saying.
-Big
What's in a system?
I was watching ESPN's "College Football Live" yesterday while running, and they had an interview with June Jones, head coach of the University of Hawai'i. The main comment that he had that made me furrow my brow was in regards to Colt Brennan versus Tim Tebow for the Heisman.
I don't have the quote ready, but it went something like this:
Now, Jesse Palmer's thoughts aside, I'm going to play devil's advocate here and allow for the discussion in the comments.
Arguments for Colt Brennan:
-He's a better quarterback than Timmy Chang ever was, so I don't think this is the "Kliff Kingsbury and Graham Harrell" kind of argument.
-He's consistently delivered year after year in Honolulu.
-(According to Jones) he has the ability to run any kind of system, be it running, throwing, pro style, spread, west coast, etc.
-He has won games for his team when they weren't supposed to win.
Arguments against Tebow:
-He's got spotlight because he plays in Florida. Any other school, and he's Jevan Snead.
-Urban Meyer's system allows for quarterbacks to succeed while running the ball AND using the spread: Omar Jacobs at BGSU, Alex Smith at Utah, Tim Tebow at Florida
-Tebow can not run a pro style offense, or any offense that requires precision passing
Some "instant feedback" on ESPN had some questions that made you think:
"How come when Brennan is called a system quarterback it's okay, but calling Tebow a system quarterback isn't allowed?"
"If the Heisman is solely based on stats and records, doesn't it have to go to Brennan?"
"East Coast bias rears its ugly head again".
For the record, I think Tebow is a bad mother fucker, and I think June Jones might have had some bad lomi lomi salmon or something. However, after being immersed in Hawai'i football for weeks on end, I gotta tell you, Brennan does look like a lot more than "just a system" guy.
Discuss in the comments or at the coffee pot.
I don't have the quote ready, but it went something like this:
You call Colt Brennan a system quarterback, but I disagree. Colt Brennan is an NFL ready quarterback. Tim Tebow is a system quarterback and wouldn't crack the starting line up at my school.Whoah. That is the definition of a hot sports opinion.
Now, Jesse Palmer's thoughts aside, I'm going to play devil's advocate here and allow for the discussion in the comments.
Arguments for Colt Brennan:
-He's a better quarterback than Timmy Chang ever was, so I don't think this is the "Kliff Kingsbury and Graham Harrell" kind of argument.
-He's consistently delivered year after year in Honolulu.
-(According to Jones) he has the ability to run any kind of system, be it running, throwing, pro style, spread, west coast, etc.
-He has won games for his team when they weren't supposed to win.
Arguments against Tebow:
-He's got spotlight because he plays in Florida. Any other school, and he's Jevan Snead.
-Urban Meyer's system allows for quarterbacks to succeed while running the ball AND using the spread: Omar Jacobs at BGSU, Alex Smith at Utah, Tim Tebow at Florida
-Tebow can not run a pro style offense, or any offense that requires precision passing
Some "instant feedback" on ESPN had some questions that made you think:
"How come when Brennan is called a system quarterback it's okay, but calling Tebow a system quarterback isn't allowed?"
"If the Heisman is solely based on stats and records, doesn't it have to go to Brennan?"
"East Coast bias rears its ugly head again".
For the record, I think Tebow is a bad mother fucker, and I think June Jones might have had some bad lomi lomi salmon or something. However, after being immersed in Hawai'i football for weeks on end, I gotta tell you, Brennan does look like a lot more than "just a system" guy.
Discuss in the comments or at the coffee pot.
The Brown Five - 12/4/07
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) That's the collective "Shit" from the rest of the NBA you hear.
Turns out Tim Duncan is okay and not seriously hurt. I'm not someone who really wishes for people to get injured (except for maybe seeing Big fart and fall down) but a no-Tim Duncan spurs is a lower hurdle for Dallas. Speaking of Dallas, they ended their losing skid by beating the Bulls last night. Take a look at the standings, yes, my eyebrows are up because the Katrina bees are winning.
2) Does the BCS really matter?
I've tempered a bit on college football these days, more because I see it for what it is. Minor league NFL, and a money making venture for school. Don't kid yourself and believe Big in thinking that the bowls have some kind of meaning. The only reason bowls exist are for schools to make money, NOT because of any other reason. That's why there is not playoff. My question is, who gives a shit if you don't make a BCS game? Does anyone but OSU and LSU get a chance at a national championship? No. The only bonus? Money. The BCS doesn't matter because the schools that need money never make it.
3) The 76ers make the best move in awhile.
Billy King is gonna be fired today. Ahhh, a team in Philadelphia pulls its head out of its ass and realizes there is more to life than futility and borderline mentally retarded trades. They are supposed to announce the hiring of Ed Stefanski, GM of the Nets. A little suprising to nab a division rival's current GM, a good GM at that, but so much the better.
4) I hate blaming refs for stuff...
but, come ON! Did anyone watch the game between the Ravens and Patriots? It's a little too suspicious when the Patriots keep getting second life over and over and over on ticky tack penalties on the Ravens. Look at the tuck rule, look at at Willie McGinest "temporarily injured" to stop a Colts drive. I'm not insinuating anything, but if the NFL knows that a team is going to generate loads of money by going undefeated, maybe a call here or there to keep things going isn't too crazy.
5) Watch the Nationals
Dmitri Young, Lastings Milledge, and Elijah Dukes are going to be on the same team. Oh. My. God. THIS is a reality show I'd watch.
1) That's the collective "Shit" from the rest of the NBA you hear.
Turns out Tim Duncan is okay and not seriously hurt. I'm not someone who really wishes for people to get injured (except for maybe seeing Big fart and fall down) but a no-Tim Duncan spurs is a lower hurdle for Dallas. Speaking of Dallas, they ended their losing skid by beating the Bulls last night. Take a look at the standings, yes, my eyebrows are up because the Katrina bees are winning.
2) Does the BCS really matter?
I've tempered a bit on college football these days, more because I see it for what it is. Minor league NFL, and a money making venture for school. Don't kid yourself and believe Big in thinking that the bowls have some kind of meaning. The only reason bowls exist are for schools to make money, NOT because of any other reason. That's why there is not playoff. My question is, who gives a shit if you don't make a BCS game? Does anyone but OSU and LSU get a chance at a national championship? No. The only bonus? Money. The BCS doesn't matter because the schools that need money never make it.
3) The 76ers make the best move in awhile.
Billy King is gonna be fired today. Ahhh, a team in Philadelphia pulls its head out of its ass and realizes there is more to life than futility and borderline mentally retarded trades. They are supposed to announce the hiring of Ed Stefanski, GM of the Nets. A little suprising to nab a division rival's current GM, a good GM at that, but so much the better.
4) I hate blaming refs for stuff...
but, come ON! Did anyone watch the game between the Ravens and Patriots? It's a little too suspicious when the Patriots keep getting second life over and over and over on ticky tack penalties on the Ravens. Look at the tuck rule, look at at Willie McGinest "temporarily injured" to stop a Colts drive. I'm not insinuating anything, but if the NFL knows that a team is going to generate loads of money by going undefeated, maybe a call here or there to keep things going isn't too crazy.
5) Watch the Nationals
Dmitri Young, Lastings Milledge, and Elijah Dukes are going to be on the same team. Oh. My. God. THIS is a reality show I'd watch.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Brown's Nightmare
I'm not kidding when I say that I see this face when I'm sleeping at night and wake up in chills and afraid of rape.
I can't believe I used to like the Steelers. This had to be Ben Roethlisberger's idea.
I can't believe I used to like the Steelers. This had to be Ben Roethlisberger's idea.
BSC, it has their cake, and eats it too
Well, well, well. Another college football Saturday, another crazy ass day. I have been ranking teams and telling you, the sexy reader, what each team should do to get in the championship game, and boy have I been wrong.
I thought Ohio State would lose to Mich, didn't happen. I thought West Virginia would win out, didn't happen. I thought Oregon would ride Dixon to the champ game, didn't happen. I don't mind being wrong. While it doesn't make me look good, it does allow me to think about things i haven't thought of yet, and formulate new thoughts. What i don't get is how LSU AND Ohio State are in the big one.
Ok there are 3 schools of thought out there for ranking college football. There is the record only people. These people are the ones that say Ohio State is 11-1 and therefore has to be the best in the nation. That's cool, I get it. I don't agree, but I get it.
Now there is the people that take the team A beat team B, and if need be team B beat team C, there for team A is best. These are the people that have LSU in the big game. Again, I understand this point as well.
The last group of people are what i like to call "pollsters." These are the peeps that will drop a team that loses at least 4-7 spots in the polls, no matter when they lost or how they lost, or who they lost too. These are the same people who it takes a BIG win over a BIG team to move up the polls if there is 2 teams with the same record. These people probably think Georgia or VaTech should be in the game, and they also are the ones that would most DEF put in Ohio State. These people are shit heads. I don't understand them at all.
Now, if a perfect world all three of these groups would pan out and be weighted equally, and the 2 of the best teams would play for the National Championship.
Then we come to this year. I think that we got probably the "safest" two teams this year. I don't really have a problem with it. I know more people will watch with LSU and OSU. More people will go to the game. Its good times.
This is what i don't understand, and what i don't like. Ohio State is in cuz its got the best record of a major conference team, but LSU got in because they are the "strongest team" from the "strongest conference" despite having 2 losses. These are 2 massively different reasons for teams to be have a chance to play for a national title. Neither one of them makes since if they are taken out of context. Let me explain.
If we are going to by record. Then its Hawaii and OSU/Kansas.
How would be choose who got to play between OSU and Kansas?
Well, OSU won its conference with out a Conference championship game, and Kansas finished 2nd in its conference without playing in its conference game.
Edge OSU, but really slight.
The one loss? OSU lost to the UN RANKED at the time Illinois, Kansas lost to the number 5 ranked Missouri.
Edge Kansas.
But how did the team that they lost too finish the season, that might be better now once we look at the big picture. Well Illinois is ranked 13th, Missouri is ranked 6th.
Edge still Kansas.
I'm not saying that Kansas is better than Ohio State, but if you were going by just record, Kansas might be slightly favored over OSU, and most deff over LSU.
But that's not the way we pick who gets to play. We take all that and put in our own opinions on who is truly the best teams in the land. That's how LSU got in. They jumped 3 teams when they barlery, beat Tenn this last weekend. I get it, they play in the hardest conference in all of football. They never lost in regulation, they only times they lost were in triple overtime( i fucking hate that argument, they still lost.)
Here is my problem, LSU's 2 losses were to unranked teams at the end of the year. When they lost to Kentucky they were ranked, but we have since seen what kind of team they are. When they lost their 2nd game to an unranked Arkansas team, they dropped to number 6 in the BCS, behind Missu(lost),WVU(lost), Ohio St(idle), Kansas(idle) and Virginia Tech(beat #11 BC). Now tell me how a win over #16 is better than a win over #11? I can see it being worth jumping the teams that didn't play, but how can a voter who voted LSU below VT last week, say the win over Tennessee is a better win than the VT win over Boston College? I don't' get it.
Its almost like the voters are saying,"SEC, we are sorry about the whole Auburn thing a couple of years ago. Here is gift for ya." It makes me sick.
The problem with the BSC isn't the picking the 2 teams, its how. There is no real rhyme or reason. Fuck, just let me know and i will be cool with it. Don't tell me its the best record for one them, and then the team we like the best for the other one.
You ask me who the best 2 teams in college football are? Oklahoma and USC. Those are the two teams that are the most complete and they only reason they aren't in are because of Injury's. Fuck it.
I will do a full blown Bowl preview later in the week, so stay tuned.
I thought Ohio State would lose to Mich, didn't happen. I thought West Virginia would win out, didn't happen. I thought Oregon would ride Dixon to the champ game, didn't happen. I don't mind being wrong. While it doesn't make me look good, it does allow me to think about things i haven't thought of yet, and formulate new thoughts. What i don't get is how LSU AND Ohio State are in the big one.
Ok there are 3 schools of thought out there for ranking college football. There is the record only people. These people are the ones that say Ohio State is 11-1 and therefore has to be the best in the nation. That's cool, I get it. I don't agree, but I get it.
Now there is the people that take the team A beat team B, and if need be team B beat team C, there for team A is best. These are the people that have LSU in the big game. Again, I understand this point as well.
The last group of people are what i like to call "pollsters." These are the peeps that will drop a team that loses at least 4-7 spots in the polls, no matter when they lost or how they lost, or who they lost too. These are the same people who it takes a BIG win over a BIG team to move up the polls if there is 2 teams with the same record. These people probably think Georgia or VaTech should be in the game, and they also are the ones that would most DEF put in Ohio State. These people are shit heads. I don't understand them at all.
Now, if a perfect world all three of these groups would pan out and be weighted equally, and the 2 of the best teams would play for the National Championship.
Then we come to this year. I think that we got probably the "safest" two teams this year. I don't really have a problem with it. I know more people will watch with LSU and OSU. More people will go to the game. Its good times.
This is what i don't understand, and what i don't like. Ohio State is in cuz its got the best record of a major conference team, but LSU got in because they are the "strongest team" from the "strongest conference" despite having 2 losses. These are 2 massively different reasons for teams to be have a chance to play for a national title. Neither one of them makes since if they are taken out of context. Let me explain.
If we are going to by record. Then its Hawaii and OSU/Kansas.
How would be choose who got to play between OSU and Kansas?
Well, OSU won its conference with out a Conference championship game, and Kansas finished 2nd in its conference without playing in its conference game.
Edge OSU, but really slight.
The one loss? OSU lost to the UN RANKED at the time Illinois, Kansas lost to the number 5 ranked Missouri.
Edge Kansas.
But how did the team that they lost too finish the season, that might be better now once we look at the big picture. Well Illinois is ranked 13th, Missouri is ranked 6th.
Edge still Kansas.
I'm not saying that Kansas is better than Ohio State, but if you were going by just record, Kansas might be slightly favored over OSU, and most deff over LSU.
But that's not the way we pick who gets to play. We take all that and put in our own opinions on who is truly the best teams in the land. That's how LSU got in. They jumped 3 teams when they barlery, beat Tenn this last weekend. I get it, they play in the hardest conference in all of football. They never lost in regulation, they only times they lost were in triple overtime( i fucking hate that argument, they still lost.)
Here is my problem, LSU's 2 losses were to unranked teams at the end of the year. When they lost to Kentucky they were ranked, but we have since seen what kind of team they are. When they lost their 2nd game to an unranked Arkansas team, they dropped to number 6 in the BCS, behind Missu(lost),WVU(lost), Ohio St(idle), Kansas(idle) and Virginia Tech(beat #11 BC). Now tell me how a win over #16 is better than a win over #11? I can see it being worth jumping the teams that didn't play, but how can a voter who voted LSU below VT last week, say the win over Tennessee is a better win than the VT win over Boston College? I don't' get it.
Its almost like the voters are saying,"SEC, we are sorry about the whole Auburn thing a couple of years ago. Here is gift for ya." It makes me sick.
The problem with the BSC isn't the picking the 2 teams, its how. There is no real rhyme or reason. Fuck, just let me know and i will be cool with it. Don't tell me its the best record for one them, and then the team we like the best for the other one.
You ask me who the best 2 teams in college football are? Oklahoma and USC. Those are the two teams that are the most complete and they only reason they aren't in are because of Injury's. Fuck it.
I will do a full blown Bowl preview later in the week, so stay tuned.
The Brown Five - 12/3/07
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) BCS Chaos
Well, shit. Illinois gets in, and everyone is bitching about Kansas jumping Missouri. Ohio State gets to have its doors blown off by an SEC team again. Georgia is gonna expose Hawaii for the frauds they are. I'm most interested in the OU and West Virginia game. UWV got it's pants pulled down by Pitt, so you know Pat White is gonna be pissed off, and OU is just the BCS sacrificial lamb they need. I'm suprised Notre Dame didn't get invited, I hate the BCS.
2) How does everyone forget about Dwight Howard?
Is it because he plays in Orlando? I'm a little surprised. Dwight Howard is making a name for himself as one of the premiere big men in the NBA, and everyone forgets that he's only like 22. Watch an Orlando game someday and be impressed. Sure, over $100 million for Rashard Lewis was dumb, but that's quite the squad SVG is running out.
3) The Browns got robbed
I've conceded the fact that Grimmus and Horse Balls have all but taken away the hope that Dallas gets a good draft pick, so I've jumped on the Browns bandwagon. How can you not? That being said, Cleveland got ROYALLY SCREWED by refs in the game against Arizona. Winslow made a damn near impossible catch in the end zone, was forced out and STILL managed to drag one toe...but since you can't review being forced out, they said "incomplete" and the Cardinals one. Bull and Shit. Thank you.
4) Grupo de Muerto
Well, it happens every time. The "Group Of Death" has been drawn for the Euro 2007 championships. Three of the top 10 tems in the Europe (world in my opinion) have all drawn the same group: Holland, Romania, Italy and France. I wish Portugal would have been in this group as well, and then it'd be like the NBA, where everyone just watched one group and cares about no one else.
5) Are you the next Elway?
Really, how long does Jay Cutler have until he joins the ranks of Brian Griese and Jake Plummer as Denver quarterbacks who have failed in the shadow of John "Barbaro" Elway? Leave it to Denver fans and their skeletal coach to platoon running backs all day long but forget that it takes time to develop a quarterback.
1) BCS Chaos
Well, shit. Illinois gets in, and everyone is bitching about Kansas jumping Missouri. Ohio State gets to have its doors blown off by an SEC team again. Georgia is gonna expose Hawaii for the frauds they are. I'm most interested in the OU and West Virginia game. UWV got it's pants pulled down by Pitt, so you know Pat White is gonna be pissed off, and OU is just the BCS sacrificial lamb they need. I'm suprised Notre Dame didn't get invited, I hate the BCS.
2) How does everyone forget about Dwight Howard?
Is it because he plays in Orlando? I'm a little surprised. Dwight Howard is making a name for himself as one of the premiere big men in the NBA, and everyone forgets that he's only like 22. Watch an Orlando game someday and be impressed. Sure, over $100 million for Rashard Lewis was dumb, but that's quite the squad SVG is running out.
3) The Browns got robbed
I've conceded the fact that Grimmus and Horse Balls have all but taken away the hope that Dallas gets a good draft pick, so I've jumped on the Browns bandwagon. How can you not? That being said, Cleveland got ROYALLY SCREWED by refs in the game against Arizona. Winslow made a damn near impossible catch in the end zone, was forced out and STILL managed to drag one toe...but since you can't review being forced out, they said "incomplete" and the Cardinals one. Bull and Shit. Thank you.
4) Grupo de Muerto
Well, it happens every time. The "Group Of Death" has been drawn for the Euro 2007 championships. Three of the top 10 tems in the Europe (world in my opinion) have all drawn the same group: Holland, Romania, Italy and France. I wish Portugal would have been in this group as well, and then it'd be like the NBA, where everyone just watched one group and cares about no one else.
5) Are you the next Elway?
Really, how long does Jay Cutler have until he joins the ranks of Brian Griese and Jake Plummer as Denver quarterbacks who have failed in the shadow of John "Barbaro" Elway? Leave it to Denver fans and their skeletal coach to platoon running backs all day long but forget that it takes time to develop a quarterback.
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