Shit there's way too much going on, so I'm going to pull an old favorite out of the hat...
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) The King is dead. Long live the King.
I was very drunk on Saturday. Very. That being said, I was able to drag my ass out of bed a few hours after sleeping to turn on the television for the Wimbledon final between, surprise surprise, Federer and Nadal. As a former tennis player, I was blown away at how amazing this match was. Amazing. By the way, Federer is 26 and Nadal is 22...expect this for a long time to come. I'm thinking that the PGA really needs to find Nadal to Tiger's Federer. Lefty ain't it. Sergio ain't it. Els nor Goosen are it. Someone...
2) Wait, he still wants to play?
Brett Favre, apparently, wants to come back. Green Bay, apparently, doesn't want him to come back. I think that Green Bay is right. They have to move on. The fans have accepted it, and Aaron Rodgers (or Brian Brohm) are going to be the future. Bringing him back is like getting back together with your crazy ex. Your friends liked her, but you knew she was bat shit crazy, but you do it because the sex was great, and your friends would give you shit if you didn't.
3) Seattle caves, makes Brown's shit list of cities
This bothers me because I happen to love the city of Seattle. It's a really great place to go if you haven't been. That being said, the chicken shit move of kowtowing to Clay Bennett? God damn it. After 41 years, Kevin Durant and the Seattle Sonics will be playing in America's ass hole, Oklahoma City...and it didn't even require the city being destroyed by a hurricane. Clay Bennett, welcome to wonderful world of Art Modell. Cock pouch.
4) Two, count 'em, two Ranger starters
Josh Hamilton and Milton Bradley will be representing the Texas Rangers in the outfield and DH, respectively, at the All Star game this year. Kinsler and Young are reserves. I haven't said much about it because if you don't know me, I fear the jinx, but the Rangers are coming around. We've sat through years of crap, but now you can see a lot of young guys, both on the roster and coming up. Pitching has always been an issue, but similar to the 1990's, cobbling together a pitching staff around a good bunch of clubhouse guys is much easier than doing it around a bunch of shit.
5) A-Rod gets divorced
If it has to do with Kaballah, you'll see Big do a dance. Why? He gets to blame the Jews for something new.
Showing posts with label The Brown Five. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Brown Five. Show all posts
Monday, July 7, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
The Brown Five - 2/08/08 - That's how timezones work
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Here we go with PETA again
Pedro Martinez and Juan Marichal were in the Dominican Republic last week, and they decided to take in a popular sport of their home country. Problem is, that popular sport happens to be cockfighting. Have we learned nothing from Mike Vick? Come on! Sure it's legal down there, but PETA will protest the scene from "The Great Outdoors" where John Candy shoots a bear in the ass. Fuck it, PETA is the issue here, not Pedro. I'd like to just start kicking a box labeled "kittens" around the lawn in front of the home office.
2) Brian McNamee saves needles
For seven fucking years. Really? Everyone is okay in believing that, but we don't want to believe the athletes? If I'm Clemens's lawyer, I just say "he admitted to receiving B-12 shots, and that's the remnants of those syringes. Any steroid residue has been added since the shot was given, and is consdered tampering and is inadmissable"
3) Watch Illinois and Indiana last night
Good game from a couple of rivals. What impressed me was when a certain Jeffrey Jordan hit a key overtime jumper to make things close for Illinois. You might remember Jeffrey's father, Michael. Pretty good basketball player. I'd like to submit a new nickname: Jeffrey "Heir" Jordan. Think about it.
4) Manning to Tyree listed as "greatest play ever in Super Bowl"
Yeah, I'm okay with that. In the 20 some odd years I've been watching them, it's the only one that has made me stand up and scream and ask all the stupid people who were still sitting down "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FROM MANNING?" only to get blank stares like I interrupted a bunch of serious conversations because they forgot it that a GOD DAMN FOOTBALL GAME WAS ON AND IT WASN'T A MOTHER FUCKING SOCIAL HOUR. What was my point again?
5) I wish this was a joke. I'm still hoping it is a joke.
Jesus Christ, let it go.
1) Here we go with PETA again
Pedro Martinez and Juan Marichal were in the Dominican Republic last week, and they decided to take in a popular sport of their home country. Problem is, that popular sport happens to be cockfighting. Have we learned nothing from Mike Vick? Come on! Sure it's legal down there, but PETA will protest the scene from "The Great Outdoors" where John Candy shoots a bear in the ass. Fuck it, PETA is the issue here, not Pedro. I'd like to just start kicking a box labeled "kittens" around the lawn in front of the home office.
2) Brian McNamee saves needles
For seven fucking years. Really? Everyone is okay in believing that, but we don't want to believe the athletes? If I'm Clemens's lawyer, I just say "he admitted to receiving B-12 shots, and that's the remnants of those syringes. Any steroid residue has been added since the shot was given, and is consdered tampering and is inadmissable"
3) Watch Illinois and Indiana last night
Good game from a couple of rivals. What impressed me was when a certain Jeffrey Jordan hit a key overtime jumper to make things close for Illinois. You might remember Jeffrey's father, Michael. Pretty good basketball player. I'd like to submit a new nickname: Jeffrey "Heir" Jordan. Think about it.
4) Manning to Tyree listed as "greatest play ever in Super Bowl"
Yeah, I'm okay with that. In the 20 some odd years I've been watching them, it's the only one that has made me stand up and scream and ask all the stupid people who were still sitting down "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FROM MANNING?" only to get blank stares like I interrupted a bunch of serious conversations because they forgot it that a GOD DAMN FOOTBALL GAME WAS ON AND IT WASN'T A MOTHER FUCKING SOCIAL HOUR. What was my point again?
5) I wish this was a joke. I'm still hoping it is a joke.
Jesus Christ, let it go.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
The Brown Five - 2/7/08 - How do you like your breakfast taco?
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Nick Saban pulls off a coup
So, for the most part, America hates Nick Saban, right? Wrong. The man can recruit like a mother fucker in a very highly touted area of the country. 32 recruits including the nations number 4, 30, 38, and 55 ranked players as well as a quarterback who's first name is "Star". Does it mean they're going to win a title tomorrow? No. Does it mean that Alabama can come back to prominence in the SEC? Probably.
2) The Kevin Hart story is closer to Big's life than you think
Remember this? Kevin Hart makes a commitment to California. California and Tedford don't know what the hell he's talking about. Hart says he was duped and scammed out of money by a "recruiter". Turns out, Hart made the whole thing up. Fernley High School, Reno, Nevada...where dumb asses are born.
3) Shaq to Phoenix still confuses the world
But, hey, he promised Steve Nash he won't let him down. This is interesting to me for a few reasons. Shaq is making a step towards saying, "I know I'm not the guy here, you are. I'm supporting that." That's huge for Shaq. It also means that Shaq is pissed off, and he's going to take it out on Los Angeles, Dallas and any Eastern conference team that comes in his way. At least we get to see Dampier get abused over and over again.
4) Cassell to Boston? Uh oh.
You know what happens when a bunch of aging veterans try to tack on to the hot team with the hopes they might come away with a ring? Failure. See the Lakers with Payton and Malone. Is Cassell an upgrade over Rondo? Oh god yes. Will the Clippers just let him go? I don't think so.
5) Duke won on Tobacco Road last night
Lawson was mosing, and the Tar Heels just look slow and struggling all night, but you got to hand it to Greg Paulus for draining six three pointers last night. Duke let it rain from the three point line all night, and that made UNC's size advantage pretty useless.
1) Nick Saban pulls off a coup
So, for the most part, America hates Nick Saban, right? Wrong. The man can recruit like a mother fucker in a very highly touted area of the country. 32 recruits including the nations number 4, 30, 38, and 55 ranked players as well as a quarterback who's first name is "Star". Does it mean they're going to win a title tomorrow? No. Does it mean that Alabama can come back to prominence in the SEC? Probably.
2) The Kevin Hart story is closer to Big's life than you think
Remember this? Kevin Hart makes a commitment to California. California and Tedford don't know what the hell he's talking about. Hart says he was duped and scammed out of money by a "recruiter". Turns out, Hart made the whole thing up. Fernley High School, Reno, Nevada...where dumb asses are born.
3) Shaq to Phoenix still confuses the world
But, hey, he promised Steve Nash he won't let him down. This is interesting to me for a few reasons. Shaq is making a step towards saying, "I know I'm not the guy here, you are. I'm supporting that." That's huge for Shaq. It also means that Shaq is pissed off, and he's going to take it out on Los Angeles, Dallas and any Eastern conference team that comes in his way. At least we get to see Dampier get abused over and over again.
4) Cassell to Boston? Uh oh.
You know what happens when a bunch of aging veterans try to tack on to the hot team with the hopes they might come away with a ring? Failure. See the Lakers with Payton and Malone. Is Cassell an upgrade over Rondo? Oh god yes. Will the Clippers just let him go? I don't think so.
5) Duke won on Tobacco Road last night
Lawson was mosing, and the Tar Heels just look slow and struggling all night, but you got to hand it to Greg Paulus for draining six three pointers last night. Duke let it rain from the three point line all night, and that made UNC's size advantage pretty useless.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
The Brown Five - 2/6/08 - Maybe the Suns can get Penny back too
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) The Heat are ecstatic, I'm scratching my head
If you haven't heard by now, the Suns and the Heat have made a deal: Marion and Banks for Shaq. This allows the Heat to dump Shaq's contract, get a complimentary point machine and stingy defensive player for Wade as well as a solid young point guard to replace White Chocolate. The Suns? They're trying to convince themselves that Shaq is going to give them the defensive presence they need in the middle and they can shift Amare to the 4 with Grant Hill backing him up. This was a bad move by Phoenix. I just don't think Shaq is worth it anymore.
2) The West is moving, yet the Mavs stand still
Okay. Gasol to the Lakers. Shaq to the Suns. Stoudamire to the Spurs. Durant coming into his own in Seattle. Paul on fire in New Orleans. Utah fusing. Portland gelling with Oden coming in next year. The Mavs? Holding on for dear life. I'm still not a fan of the Jason Kidd move, but come on. The Mavericks HAVE to make a move to get better. If you aren't moving to get better, you are only getting worse. You can't wait for the D-league All Stars to come into their own. Jones, Bass and Hassell aren't the fire power you need. I dont play with the trade machine, but do what you can to get an Artest-like player.
3) Signing Day has become quite a big deal now
It's always been a big day for those in college and in high school, but I don't ever remember it being such a big deal outside of that. Anyway, today is the day that high school studs sign at the school that has promised them the most pussy and cash. I'm always most impressed at how schools like Notre Dame that really hasn't been relevant in the past 5 years manages to swing one of the top classes annually. That Jesus, he sure has some reach.
4) Clemens has played his last card
By saying that he went in front of the Congressional lawyers and said that he didn't use steroids or growth hormone, then he's either seriously telling the truth or he's risking perjury and jailtime. This is not just going at a press conference or with Mike Wallace. No sir, these are the top and most powerful lawyers in the U.S. Government. It's made not only next week's public questioning that much more intriguing, but has made the testimony of Andy Pettite that much more curious. Is Pettite going to side with McNamee or Clemens? Someone is going to jail over this.
5) Baseball season is right around the corner, and I need a fresh taste in my mouth
2007 was weird, to say the least. Bonds getting THE record. Glavine got his 300th game. Biggio got his 3,000 hit. Thomas got his 500th homer. The Rockies had the almost Cinderella run, and the Red Sox kicked down the door for the insufferable Boston fan. What do we get this year? Well, keep posted and we'll be there all the way from April where the Rangers look like contenders to June where they will be 15 games out and re-loading for 2009.
1) The Heat are ecstatic, I'm scratching my head
If you haven't heard by now, the Suns and the Heat have made a deal: Marion and Banks for Shaq. This allows the Heat to dump Shaq's contract, get a complimentary point machine and stingy defensive player for Wade as well as a solid young point guard to replace White Chocolate. The Suns? They're trying to convince themselves that Shaq is going to give them the defensive presence they need in the middle and they can shift Amare to the 4 with Grant Hill backing him up. This was a bad move by Phoenix. I just don't think Shaq is worth it anymore.
2) The West is moving, yet the Mavs stand still
Okay. Gasol to the Lakers. Shaq to the Suns. Stoudamire to the Spurs. Durant coming into his own in Seattle. Paul on fire in New Orleans. Utah fusing. Portland gelling with Oden coming in next year. The Mavs? Holding on for dear life. I'm still not a fan of the Jason Kidd move, but come on. The Mavericks HAVE to make a move to get better. If you aren't moving to get better, you are only getting worse. You can't wait for the D-league All Stars to come into their own. Jones, Bass and Hassell aren't the fire power you need. I dont play with the trade machine, but do what you can to get an Artest-like player.
3) Signing Day has become quite a big deal now
It's always been a big day for those in college and in high school, but I don't ever remember it being such a big deal outside of that. Anyway, today is the day that high school studs sign at the school that has promised them the most pussy and cash. I'm always most impressed at how schools like Notre Dame that really hasn't been relevant in the past 5 years manages to swing one of the top classes annually. That Jesus, he sure has some reach.
4) Clemens has played his last card
By saying that he went in front of the Congressional lawyers and said that he didn't use steroids or growth hormone, then he's either seriously telling the truth or he's risking perjury and jailtime. This is not just going at a press conference or with Mike Wallace. No sir, these are the top and most powerful lawyers in the U.S. Government. It's made not only next week's public questioning that much more intriguing, but has made the testimony of Andy Pettite that much more curious. Is Pettite going to side with McNamee or Clemens? Someone is going to jail over this.
5) Baseball season is right around the corner, and I need a fresh taste in my mouth
2007 was weird, to say the least. Bonds getting THE record. Glavine got his 300th game. Biggio got his 3,000 hit. Thomas got his 500th homer. The Rockies had the almost Cinderella run, and the Red Sox kicked down the door for the insufferable Boston fan. What do we get this year? Well, keep posted and we'll be there all the way from April where the Rangers look like contenders to June where they will be 15 games out and re-loading for 2009.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
The Brown Five - 2/5/08 - Back in the saddle again.
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Eli and the Giants slay Goliath
Wow. I really can't add anything to the commentary that's already been given. So I'm just going to say, "wow". Attention Oakland, Jeremy Shockey now available. Attention Tiki, the little white guy laughing his ass off at you is Eli Manning.
2) Gregg Williams interviews for the Cowboys
Big disagrees with me, but I think this is way too many cooks in the defense's kitchen. Phillips, Campo, Stewart, Williams (maybe), Capers (maybe). That's a head coach, a coordinator, and three former head coaches on one defensive staff. Too many egos, and no one is going to check that. On the plus side, one of these guys has to make Roy Williams tradeable, right?
3) Seems like Devin Harris is more important than we thought
Without the burn and slash stylings of Devin Harris, the Mavericks have reverted to a jump shooting team, aka they suck again. Jason Terry is proving that he should not be a starter, as when he comes off the bench he is much more effective. Given the exposure that Harris is much more important than given credit for, would you still make the Kidd move?
4) Gasol to the Lakers, shit to the Grizzlies
That's all it took to get Pau Gasol? That's ALL??? No one else in the league could best that? REALLY? Kwame Brown, Javaris Crittendon and two draft picks? No wonder Kobe's playing happy like a pig in shit right now.
5) Bobby Knight retires
Make no mistake about it, Bobby Knight is the winningest coach in college basketball history. His impact on the game is greater than others, and his contribution to sports and sports talk is legendary. Anyone who attemppts to bring up Pat Summit deserves a swift kick to the crotch. Comparing women's basketball to men's basketball is like comparing high school football to the NFL. Same sport, leaps and bounds from the same thing.
1) Eli and the Giants slay Goliath
Wow. I really can't add anything to the commentary that's already been given. So I'm just going to say, "wow". Attention Oakland, Jeremy Shockey now available. Attention Tiki, the little white guy laughing his ass off at you is Eli Manning.
2) Gregg Williams interviews for the Cowboys
Big disagrees with me, but I think this is way too many cooks in the defense's kitchen. Phillips, Campo, Stewart, Williams (maybe), Capers (maybe). That's a head coach, a coordinator, and three former head coaches on one defensive staff. Too many egos, and no one is going to check that. On the plus side, one of these guys has to make Roy Williams tradeable, right?
3) Seems like Devin Harris is more important than we thought
Without the burn and slash stylings of Devin Harris, the Mavericks have reverted to a jump shooting team, aka they suck again. Jason Terry is proving that he should not be a starter, as when he comes off the bench he is much more effective. Given the exposure that Harris is much more important than given credit for, would you still make the Kidd move?
4) Gasol to the Lakers, shit to the Grizzlies
That's all it took to get Pau Gasol? That's ALL??? No one else in the league could best that? REALLY? Kwame Brown, Javaris Crittendon and two draft picks? No wonder Kobe's playing happy like a pig in shit right now.
5) Bobby Knight retires
Make no mistake about it, Bobby Knight is the winningest coach in college basketball history. His impact on the game is greater than others, and his contribution to sports and sports talk is legendary. Anyone who attemppts to bring up Pat Summit deserves a swift kick to the crotch. Comparing women's basketball to men's basketball is like comparing high school football to the NFL. Same sport, leaps and bounds from the same thing.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/30/08 - Soggy Corn Flakes
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1)Yes, Big touched on this, Santana is going to New York
But, he ain't going to be in pinstripes. Omar Minaya casted his sweet sweet Hispanic charms and managed to leverage the entire Mets future on winning now. This is good new for the Mets, though, as they need an ace (Pedro ain't coming back) and they need to show the fans they are going to change after the MASSIVE meltdown last year. With Dan Haren going to the NL as well, might the National league have some aces to challenge the AL?
2)Pettite to be the sole witness...against Clemens
I know, we thought they were the best of friends, right? Well, according to Brian McNamee's lawyers, Pettite is willing to give his sworn deposition that he was not alone in his HGH usage, and Clemens was right there with him. Oh and snap.
3)Mexicans at Media Day
I'm all for the funny bits, but this is probably not going to help Arizonians change their mind about illegal immigration. Media Day at the Super Bowl has never been a serious thing, but when the Mexican television stations are sending gorgeous women to propose to players and a dude with a puppet that isn't a dog named Triumph, it's more of a beatdown than anything else.
4)LeBron wants Jason Kidd
Okaaay, how exactly does he plan on doing that? The Cavs can't afford him and with the cap rules as they are, they'll have to trade away a few players including starters. I'm pretty sure Kidd would just stay in Jersey.
5)The Texans might could use another linebacker...
1)Yes, Big touched on this, Santana is going to New York
But, he ain't going to be in pinstripes. Omar Minaya casted his sweet sweet Hispanic charms and managed to leverage the entire Mets future on winning now. This is good new for the Mets, though, as they need an ace (Pedro ain't coming back) and they need to show the fans they are going to change after the MASSIVE meltdown last year. With Dan Haren going to the NL as well, might the National league have some aces to challenge the AL?
2)Pettite to be the sole witness...against Clemens
I know, we thought they were the best of friends, right? Well, according to Brian McNamee's lawyers, Pettite is willing to give his sworn deposition that he was not alone in his HGH usage, and Clemens was right there with him. Oh and snap.
3)Mexicans at Media Day
I'm all for the funny bits, but this is probably not going to help Arizonians change their mind about illegal immigration. Media Day at the Super Bowl has never been a serious thing, but when the Mexican television stations are sending gorgeous women to propose to players and a dude with a puppet that isn't a dog named Triumph, it's more of a beatdown than anything else.
4)LeBron wants Jason Kidd
Okaaay, how exactly does he plan on doing that? The Cavs can't afford him and with the cap rules as they are, they'll have to trade away a few players including starters. I'm pretty sure Kidd would just stay in Jersey.
5)The Texans might could use another linebacker...
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/29/08 - Media Day!
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Eva Longoria says what we all know.
Tony Parker's wife, you know, Eva Longoria, have you heard of her? Yes, well she told the media that Parker often fakes, flops and exaggerates fouls on the court. This really isn't news because, well, we all know Tony's a flopper...not quite at Manu's level, but a flopper none the less. This story is big because it's the first step down the "Jackie and Doug Christie" road.
2) Stop me if you've heard this one before
Chris Webber is going to play for Don Nelson and the Golden State Warriors, and Chris Mullin is calling the shots. Let me guess, you just checked the calendar to make sure it wasn't 1996. I really don't have anything to say on top of this, but I certainly dont think it should be overlooked.
3) Given the shape of the West, can people wait until March and April to charge?
Teams like San Antonio and Los Angeles are always there, but they never run away the entire season. As accomplished post season teams, they usually turn on and shift to high gear towards the end and put together a string of victories to get their seed in the playoffs. However, given the state of the West this year and the unbelievably high win counts that teams have, is it possible that the late blooming, "we'll hit our stride later" teams can miss the playoffs? Think about it...
4) Bedard to Seattle.
The Orioles haven't completely signed off on this, but mark this up as another "Rangers get shat on" moment in the season. The Rangers have enough trouble facing this dude twice a year, and now he'll be in Seattle. Fan-fucking-tastic.
5) There's a football game on Sunday? Really?
Today's media day. Goofy hijinks abound!!! Can someone please ask Rodney Harrison and Junior Seau how they'd feel if the league implemented an HGH test effective tomorrow?
1) Eva Longoria says what we all know.
Tony Parker's wife, you know, Eva Longoria, have you heard of her? Yes, well she told the media that Parker often fakes, flops and exaggerates fouls on the court. This really isn't news because, well, we all know Tony's a flopper...not quite at Manu's level, but a flopper none the less. This story is big because it's the first step down the "Jackie and Doug Christie" road.
2) Stop me if you've heard this one before
Chris Webber is going to play for Don Nelson and the Golden State Warriors, and Chris Mullin is calling the shots. Let me guess, you just checked the calendar to make sure it wasn't 1996. I really don't have anything to say on top of this, but I certainly dont think it should be overlooked.
3) Given the shape of the West, can people wait until March and April to charge?
Teams like San Antonio and Los Angeles are always there, but they never run away the entire season. As accomplished post season teams, they usually turn on and shift to high gear towards the end and put together a string of victories to get their seed in the playoffs. However, given the state of the West this year and the unbelievably high win counts that teams have, is it possible that the late blooming, "we'll hit our stride later" teams can miss the playoffs? Think about it...
4) Bedard to Seattle.
The Orioles haven't completely signed off on this, but mark this up as another "Rangers get shat on" moment in the season. The Rangers have enough trouble facing this dude twice a year, and now he'll be in Seattle. Fan-fucking-tastic.
5) There's a football game on Sunday? Really?
Today's media day. Goofy hijinks abound!!! Can someone please ask Rodney Harrison and Junior Seau how they'd feel if the league implemented an HGH test effective tomorrow?
Monday, January 28, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/28/08 - Cena lives!
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Tiger is the greatest
Tiger Woods has this ability to make the rest of the golf world look like a bunch of weekend hackers out for a stroll on the same course. He won the Buick this past weekend by 8 strokes, and that was him letting off the gas on Sunday. It's a pretty shocking thing when you realize how good the rest of the players are and how bad Tiger makes them look. Guys can barely break off the Nike Tour or the Hot Shots Tour and make it through Q school because they're just not good enough for a PGA card.
2) LeBron v Kobe...
There's a lovely argument about who's the best player in the NBA, and for the most part, you've got two camps: LeBron James and Kobe Bryant. So far, Bryant and his Lakers have dropped five in a row against LeBron and his Cavaliers. I think Kobe's a better player, because he seems to do it night in and night out. LeBron just seems to take a night off too often for me to be comforttable.
3) The Birdman attempts to make his return
Chris Andersen has applied for reinstatement into the NBA. Today's the day in New York where Dave Stern makes the call. He's apparently spent his two years off training and keeping in shape, but without the constants competition of the NBA, you have to wonder how sharp his skills really are.
4) Rumor that sets my Cowboy weenie crazy
"Lions wide receiver Roy Williams is on the trading block, and Detroit might just want a second-round pick in return" Are. You. Effing. Kidding. Me. You should do it without question and reap the benefits. For God's sake, not to liken him to Moss, but this is just like the Pats getting their star for a fourth rounder. The "real" Roy Williams is just what this team needs, and that allows them to use one of those first rounders as trade bait or to flush out the secondary.
5) This guy is a Ranger, and it might be interesting...
Read this story on Josh Hamilton, and let me know what you think about it.
1) Tiger is the greatest
Tiger Woods has this ability to make the rest of the golf world look like a bunch of weekend hackers out for a stroll on the same course. He won the Buick this past weekend by 8 strokes, and that was him letting off the gas on Sunday. It's a pretty shocking thing when you realize how good the rest of the players are and how bad Tiger makes them look. Guys can barely break off the Nike Tour or the Hot Shots Tour and make it through Q school because they're just not good enough for a PGA card.
2) LeBron v Kobe...
There's a lovely argument about who's the best player in the NBA, and for the most part, you've got two camps: LeBron James and Kobe Bryant. So far, Bryant and his Lakers have dropped five in a row against LeBron and his Cavaliers. I think Kobe's a better player, because he seems to do it night in and night out. LeBron just seems to take a night off too often for me to be comforttable.
3) The Birdman attempts to make his return
Chris Andersen has applied for reinstatement into the NBA. Today's the day in New York where Dave Stern makes the call. He's apparently spent his two years off training and keeping in shape, but without the constants competition of the NBA, you have to wonder how sharp his skills really are.
4) Rumor that sets my Cowboy weenie crazy
"Lions wide receiver Roy Williams is on the trading block, and Detroit might just want a second-round pick in return" Are. You. Effing. Kidding. Me. You should do it without question and reap the benefits. For God's sake, not to liken him to Moss, but this is just like the Pats getting their star for a fourth rounder. The "real" Roy Williams is just what this team needs, and that allows them to use one of those first rounders as trade bait or to flush out the secondary.
5) This guy is a Ranger, and it might be interesting...
Read this story on Josh Hamilton, and let me know what you think about it.
Friday, January 25, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/25/08 - I've been casted in Powder 2: Powderier
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Federer loses! Federer loses!
Novak Djokovic, the comedian with a bomb for a serve, has dethroned the "Invincible One", in straight sets no less. 7-5,6-3, 7-6 (5). People complain that guys like Federer make tennis unwatchable because it's a guarantee that he will win. The only guarantee that he has in on grass, very Sampras-esque. Hard courts are the real test of a tennis player because it's as even keel as it gets, no speed advantage like grass and no spin advantage like clay.
2) Shaq retiring? I dont think so.
The rumors are abound that Shaq, more injury plagued then ever, is going to retire this year. The Heat would love that beacuse his salary would completely come off their books and allow them to start rebuilding tomorrow. The real question is, who in their right mind leaves $40 million on the table? Shaq's due to make $20 each year for the next two years as long as he's on the roster. He's in complete Alan Houston territory now.
3) All Star Starters. Snub-City
In the West? You'd think I'd say that Dirk's the biggest snub, but I'm going to have to go with Chris Paul. First of all, the Hornets have the best record in the West (shocking enough), but I've already argued he's one of the best pure point guards in the league with Nash, Kidd and Deron Williams. I don't agree with Allen Iverson as a starter. You can argue Dwyane Wade up and down in the East, but there is no way he is more deserving than Billups or Joe Johnson.
4) Rudy Gay is asking you what he should do
I'm not sure if this is Stern's idea of bringing the dunk contest to the fans, but Rudy Gay is inviting other basketball players across world to tell him what kind of dunk he needs to do to win the contest during All Star Weekend. Demonstrate your best dunk on YouTube.com (www.youtube.com/rudygay22slamdunk). I'm going to screen capture some stuff off of NBA Jam from Sega Genesis and submit it. If he can light a fire on the ball and jump from the free throw line and do a 540 and then dunk...wow.
5) Reminder for Sunday...
Join us at 7pm on Sunday for a live blog of the WWE Royal Rumble. Here's what I can guarantee:
1) Federer loses! Federer loses!
Novak Djokovic, the comedian with a bomb for a serve, has dethroned the "Invincible One", in straight sets no less. 7-5,6-3, 7-6 (5). People complain that guys like Federer make tennis unwatchable because it's a guarantee that he will win. The only guarantee that he has in on grass, very Sampras-esque. Hard courts are the real test of a tennis player because it's as even keel as it gets, no speed advantage like grass and no spin advantage like clay.
2) Shaq retiring? I dont think so.
The rumors are abound that Shaq, more injury plagued then ever, is going to retire this year. The Heat would love that beacuse his salary would completely come off their books and allow them to start rebuilding tomorrow. The real question is, who in their right mind leaves $40 million on the table? Shaq's due to make $20 each year for the next two years as long as he's on the roster. He's in complete Alan Houston territory now.
3) All Star Starters. Snub-City
In the West? You'd think I'd say that Dirk's the biggest snub, but I'm going to have to go with Chris Paul. First of all, the Hornets have the best record in the West (shocking enough), but I've already argued he's one of the best pure point guards in the league with Nash, Kidd and Deron Williams. I don't agree with Allen Iverson as a starter. You can argue Dwyane Wade up and down in the East, but there is no way he is more deserving than Billups or Joe Johnson.
4) Rudy Gay is asking you what he should do
I'm not sure if this is Stern's idea of bringing the dunk contest to the fans, but Rudy Gay is inviting other basketball players across world to tell him what kind of dunk he needs to do to win the contest during All Star Weekend. Demonstrate your best dunk on YouTube.com (www.youtube.com/rudygay22slamdunk). I'm going to screen capture some stuff off of NBA Jam from Sega Genesis and submit it. If he can light a fire on the ball and jump from the free throw line and do a 540 and then dunk...wow.
5) Reminder for Sunday...
Join us at 7pm on Sunday for a live blog of the WWE Royal Rumble. Here's what I can guarantee:
-Obscure 80's and 90's movie references from Blogador (he'll put Simmons to shame)
-Terrible misspellings from Big
-Untimely Heath Ledger jokes from me.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/23/08 - Why I hate the Super Bowl
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Non Sports Media
I was running at the gym and caught the end of "Access Hollywood", they were promoting "Access Hollywood's Week at the Super Bowl" and stories about "Tom Brady and Gisele". What the fuck? This is the problem with the Super Bowl. As it has grown, it has become less about playing football and more about "being seen".
2) Commercials
I, as much as the next person, enjoy funny commercials. However, when I'm watching a football game, the commercials are the time where I need to pee or go make a sandwich or get a quickie in with the lady (though I could get that done between first and second down). I appreciate that this is a large and globally watched event, and it's the time to debut your products, but I dont need hype around commercials.
3) Half-time
No one cares. The only half-time show that I really remember was the one where Michael Jackson performed, and seeing as he had look a likes popping out of scoreboards and shit, I don't even know if that wa sreally him. My point here is, half-time should be analysis and Vermeil/Jaworski levels of player breakdowns. I really don't care to see Tom Petty's corpsish face play "Free Fallin'" while the "Up with Life" dancers do a routine around him, I'm just fine listening on my own.
4) Does a game even get played?
I can't remember the last time I actually sat and watched the game. Usually I'm at a party or hosting a party so I've got conversations going on around me or I'm participating in. I'm worried about food and drink all over the place. The last thing that is really on my mind in that instance? Football game.
5) Cheesy tie-ins
This year it's Fox. They already beat us down, oh so royally, with the Terminator show during the past two weeks of the playoffs, and I can only wonder what sorry ass "the writers are on strike" show we're going to get pummeled over the head with now.
1) Non Sports Media
I was running at the gym and caught the end of "Access Hollywood", they were promoting "Access Hollywood's Week at the Super Bowl" and stories about "Tom Brady and Gisele". What the fuck? This is the problem with the Super Bowl. As it has grown, it has become less about playing football and more about "being seen".
2) Commercials
I, as much as the next person, enjoy funny commercials. However, when I'm watching a football game, the commercials are the time where I need to pee or go make a sandwich or get a quickie in with the lady (though I could get that done between first and second down). I appreciate that this is a large and globally watched event, and it's the time to debut your products, but I dont need hype around commercials.
3) Half-time
No one cares. The only half-time show that I really remember was the one where Michael Jackson performed, and seeing as he had look a likes popping out of scoreboards and shit, I don't even know if that wa sreally him. My point here is, half-time should be analysis and Vermeil/Jaworski levels of player breakdowns. I really don't care to see Tom Petty's corpsish face play "Free Fallin'" while the "Up with Life" dancers do a routine around him, I'm just fine listening on my own.
4) Does a game even get played?
I can't remember the last time I actually sat and watched the game. Usually I'm at a party or hosting a party so I've got conversations going on around me or I'm participating in. I'm worried about food and drink all over the place. The last thing that is really on my mind in that instance? Football game.
5) Cheesy tie-ins
This year it's Fox. They already beat us down, oh so royally, with the Terminator show during the past two weeks of the playoffs, and I can only wonder what sorry ass "the writers are on strike" show we're going to get pummeled over the head with now.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/22/08 - Is quoting Chappelle's Show allowed again?
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Is Brown going to admit he may have been wrong?
Yes. Yes I am. I've been down on Eli Manning ever since he was at Ole Miss. I never believed the guy was capable of winning a damn thing, let alone being a leader on this team. If you look at the past three years, you'd have to agree with me. However, something has happened to the Giants team this year that has let Eli become a leader. No Shockey, and no Tiki. Those two guys are such a-holes, that a diminutive guy like Manning could never take charge. With both of them gone, he's able to produce.
2) Tom Brady was seen in a walking boot yesterday
I'll bet money says that his coach told him to wear it around New York to make New York think they have a chance. I'm telling you, I can't believe that the cities of Boston and New York are fighting for a championship of some kind...I mean that kind of thing never happens. I hope that some network out there picks up on this and decides to focus on it. Read my post on team perception, as I think it might have more weight now.
3) Nets and Pacers considering a deal
If you haven't heard, they are considering, what amounts to a Jermaine O'Neal for Vince Carter. O'Neal's monster contract just become more attractive because it's coming off the books soon. If he's health, a combination of O'Neal, Kidd, and Jefferson is pretty formidable in a slowly stronger Eastern conference. That's a team that can contend with the Detroits and Bostons of the world. Of course, Indiana becomes that much worse on defense, and an additon of Carter would make them crave a coach like Don Nelson.
4) This year's dunk contest, might be worth watching
Gerald Green, Rudy Gay, Dwight Howard, and my favorite, Jamario Moon. The extra incentive this year? Fan votes by text message. If I don't see Dwight Howard use like a medicine ball instead of a basketball, just to fuck with people, then I'm going to be disappointed. Don't kid yourself, he could do it.
5) Join us Sunday night at 7 PM
We're live blogging the WWE Royal Rumble. Should be a good time. Me, Big and the Blogador drunk and watching wrestling. Entertainment!
1) Is Brown going to admit he may have been wrong?
Yes. Yes I am. I've been down on Eli Manning ever since he was at Ole Miss. I never believed the guy was capable of winning a damn thing, let alone being a leader on this team. If you look at the past three years, you'd have to agree with me. However, something has happened to the Giants team this year that has let Eli become a leader. No Shockey, and no Tiki. Those two guys are such a-holes, that a diminutive guy like Manning could never take charge. With both of them gone, he's able to produce.
2) Tom Brady was seen in a walking boot yesterday
I'll bet money says that his coach told him to wear it around New York to make New York think they have a chance. I'm telling you, I can't believe that the cities of Boston and New York are fighting for a championship of some kind...I mean that kind of thing never happens. I hope that some network out there picks up on this and decides to focus on it. Read my post on team perception, as I think it might have more weight now.
3) Nets and Pacers considering a deal
If you haven't heard, they are considering, what amounts to a Jermaine O'Neal for Vince Carter. O'Neal's monster contract just become more attractive because it's coming off the books soon. If he's health, a combination of O'Neal, Kidd, and Jefferson is pretty formidable in a slowly stronger Eastern conference. That's a team that can contend with the Detroits and Bostons of the world. Of course, Indiana becomes that much worse on defense, and an additon of Carter would make them crave a coach like Don Nelson.
4) This year's dunk contest, might be worth watching
Gerald Green, Rudy Gay, Dwight Howard, and my favorite, Jamario Moon. The extra incentive this year? Fan votes by text message. If I don't see Dwight Howard use like a medicine ball instead of a basketball, just to fuck with people, then I'm going to be disappointed. Don't kid yourself, he could do it.
5) Join us Sunday night at 7 PM
We're live blogging the WWE Royal Rumble. Should be a good time. Me, Big and the Blogador drunk and watching wrestling. Entertainment!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/16/07 - The Prodigal Son Returns
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) What happened?
Major Applewhite is coming home. All reports are saying that later today or tomorrow morning they will hold a presser to announce that Major Applewhite will be the new running backs coach at his (and my) alma mater, the University of Texas at Austin.
2) Why'd he do that?
Yes, it's a "step back" from being the OC at Alabama. However, in this situation, Applewhite is coming to a more dynamic program, not run by Nick Saban. He's working with a better recruting pool. Sure, he'll have to be under Greg Davis, but I have a feeling it'll be no time flat before Davis is out and Applewhite is the man with the headset.
3) What does this mean?
Well, besides the fact that the entire state of Alabama probably wants to declare war on the city of Austin? Great things. With Muschamp and Applewhite coming in, Mack Brown is making the statement to alumni and fans that he's tired of the status quo and realizes that things need to be shaken up. Muschamp is going to make the defense an aggresive, blitz-first oriented group. Applewhite is going to incorporate new wrinkles to the offense to open the door beyond Texas's normal zone read offense.
4) Does it affect recruiting?
You're damn skippy it does. Mack Brown, again, is showing that he's not happy with the status quo and he wants to see things change. He wants things to be more dynamic and more prolific. Mack Brown is already a great recruiter, and this gives him more bullets in the chamber.
5) How does it affect Brown?
Well, I've made no secret that I, like any Texas student on campus from 1998-2001, have a man-crush on Major. There was something about the guy that made him a fan favorite, it's hard to explain. It's the same way you might find older Texas fans gushing over Peter Gardere and James Brown in the late 1980's and mid 1990's. It's given me a renewed sense of fandom about my team, and it's made me, for at least an hour, forget about a certain Sunday debacle.
1) What happened?
Major Applewhite is coming home. All reports are saying that later today or tomorrow morning they will hold a presser to announce that Major Applewhite will be the new running backs coach at his (and my) alma mater, the University of Texas at Austin.
2) Why'd he do that?
Yes, it's a "step back" from being the OC at Alabama. However, in this situation, Applewhite is coming to a more dynamic program, not run by Nick Saban. He's working with a better recruting pool. Sure, he'll have to be under Greg Davis, but I have a feeling it'll be no time flat before Davis is out and Applewhite is the man with the headset.
3) What does this mean?
Well, besides the fact that the entire state of Alabama probably wants to declare war on the city of Austin? Great things. With Muschamp and Applewhite coming in, Mack Brown is making the statement to alumni and fans that he's tired of the status quo and realizes that things need to be shaken up. Muschamp is going to make the defense an aggresive, blitz-first oriented group. Applewhite is going to incorporate new wrinkles to the offense to open the door beyond Texas's normal zone read offense.
4) Does it affect recruiting?
You're damn skippy it does. Mack Brown, again, is showing that he's not happy with the status quo and he wants to see things change. He wants things to be more dynamic and more prolific. Mack Brown is already a great recruiter, and this gives him more bullets in the chamber.
5) How does it affect Brown?
Well, I've made no secret that I, like any Texas student on campus from 1998-2001, have a man-crush on Major. There was something about the guy that made him a fan favorite, it's hard to explain. It's the same way you might find older Texas fans gushing over Peter Gardere and James Brown in the late 1980's and mid 1990's. It's given me a renewed sense of fandom about my team, and it's made me, for at least an hour, forget about a certain Sunday debacle.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/15/08 - LeBron can't drive...55!
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) He's not a machine! He bleeds!
The Wizards dropped the Celtics yesterday, marking the Celts losing their third out of the last four they've played since entrenching themselves as the league's best team. Why, you may ask? I'll tell you. In trading the farm for the two to go with the one and make the big three, the Celtics sacrifices A LOT of depth on the bench. Given that Doc is a coach that likes to try and play everyone, there is only so much one man can do when he's rolling out spares to rest stars.
2) So, who is the best point guard?
Big mentioned it in his trade machine dream, that Jason Kidd might be the best point guard in the game today. Throw in Steve Nash and a few other names and there is a good debate. What about tomorrow? Chris Paul or Deron Williams? Williams has size and range, Paul has speed and court vision. Think about it...Williams bullies and punishes opposing guards with a pick and roll that bugs your eyes. Paul is like Speedy Gonzalez, only with Nash's ability to find the smallest of passing windows.
3) Cavs extend Brown's contract
Even though the Cavaliers have struggled to stay on top of the East after going to the Finals last season, Dan Gilbert and Danny Ferry haave decided to tack on two more years to Mike Brown's contract. The excuse for the poor play this year is the Varejao and Pavlovic hold outs and the LeBron finger injury. James is saying the right thing about Brown's extension being a good thing, but I'm not so sure that Brown has really done much of anything. James carries this team, and no one has made a move to get him a second banana.
4) Mavs season starts with a loss
Yes, I know the Mavs are deep into the season, but things don't "officially" start in Dallas until the Cowboys lose. Just to remind people how the season really did start, the Mavs lost to the Sad Sac Kings. They played pretty sloppy ball, and by the time they regained their style of play, it was too late. Kevin Martin was the star in Sacramento after hurting his knee ealier this year. If you're wondering about defense my only answer is to shrug my shoulders and say "I dunno"
5) Jerry Stackhouse is dropping an album
Oh yeah, here's a good idea. Remember Shaq, Kobe, Jason Kidd, etc all dropped albums? Well, now Stack is thinking he should do so as well. HOWEVER...remember the few times Stack has sung the national anthem at Mavs games? Pretty good, right? I'm just saying...
1) He's not a machine! He bleeds!
The Wizards dropped the Celtics yesterday, marking the Celts losing their third out of the last four they've played since entrenching themselves as the league's best team. Why, you may ask? I'll tell you. In trading the farm for the two to go with the one and make the big three, the Celtics sacrifices A LOT of depth on the bench. Given that Doc is a coach that likes to try and play everyone, there is only so much one man can do when he's rolling out spares to rest stars.
2) So, who is the best point guard?
Big mentioned it in his trade machine dream, that Jason Kidd might be the best point guard in the game today. Throw in Steve Nash and a few other names and there is a good debate. What about tomorrow? Chris Paul or Deron Williams? Williams has size and range, Paul has speed and court vision. Think about it...Williams bullies and punishes opposing guards with a pick and roll that bugs your eyes. Paul is like Speedy Gonzalez, only with Nash's ability to find the smallest of passing windows.
3) Cavs extend Brown's contract
Even though the Cavaliers have struggled to stay on top of the East after going to the Finals last season, Dan Gilbert and Danny Ferry haave decided to tack on two more years to Mike Brown's contract. The excuse for the poor play this year is the Varejao and Pavlovic hold outs and the LeBron finger injury. James is saying the right thing about Brown's extension being a good thing, but I'm not so sure that Brown has really done much of anything. James carries this team, and no one has made a move to get him a second banana.
4) Mavs season starts with a loss
Yes, I know the Mavs are deep into the season, but things don't "officially" start in Dallas until the Cowboys lose. Just to remind people how the season really did start, the Mavs lost to the Sad Sac Kings. They played pretty sloppy ball, and by the time they regained their style of play, it was too late. Kevin Martin was the star in Sacramento after hurting his knee ealier this year. If you're wondering about defense my only answer is to shrug my shoulders and say "I dunno"
5) Jerry Stackhouse is dropping an album
Oh yeah, here's a good idea. Remember Shaq, Kobe, Jason Kidd, etc all dropped albums? Well, now Stack is thinking he should do so as well. HOWEVER...remember the few times Stack has sung the national anthem at Mavs games? Pretty good, right? I'm just saying...
Monday, January 14, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/14/08 - Black Monday
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Huh?!
So, the Cowboys decided to continue their streak!! Problem is, that streak is not winning a playoff game since 1998. Hoo and ray. To provide you with the mother of all sports-cliches: the Giants were playing to win, and the Cowboys were playing not to lose. Not but a few times did the Cowboys go deep and test the wounded secondary. The offensive line was jittery as hell and the defense was trying too hard to not mess up, they did. Guh.
2) Who's to blame?!
Everyone would really really like to point the finger at "the Story", Tony Romo. I just don't think you can do that. Sure, he didn't have his best game, but I'd think he did what he could given the situation. Owens? No, he was still hurt and managed to draw double teams. Glenn? Nah, he made some catches that were pretty well done. Crayton? Easy to say, yes. He dropped too many crucial passes, especially after opening his big fucking mouth. No, I blame the offensive line. Stupid penalties. Terrible snaps. Zero protection. Good AND bad offenses start with the offensive line.
3) What now?!
Coaches interviewing, pissed off Jerry, annoyed fan base. Kind of sounds like status quo for the past 10 years if you ask me. Wade's going to reassess the situation and prep for the draft. Don't make any mistakes, Wade Phillips is going to be the coach here. Garrett will go to Baltimore, Sparano is going to go to Miami and don't be surprised if a few other assistants go with them. The first thing is to reload the coaching staff and set for the draft. Romo is going to go away for 3 months and then you'll see him showing up at celebrity events.
4) What about the football season?
To be honest, I'm damn near out now. Will I watch? Yes. Will I be really really actively paying attention? Minimally. Who am I pulling for? Green Bay. I'd love for Favre to meet the Patriots in the Super Bowl. The Patriots would win, but I think it'd be really cool to see Berman and Madden have respective heart attacks on the air.
5) What about the blog?
Not many of you read my shit anyway. I just steal stuff from other blogs and claim it's mine. Read Big's stuff. He knows what he's doing.
1) Huh?!
So, the Cowboys decided to continue their streak!! Problem is, that streak is not winning a playoff game since 1998. Hoo and ray. To provide you with the mother of all sports-cliches: the Giants were playing to win, and the Cowboys were playing not to lose. Not but a few times did the Cowboys go deep and test the wounded secondary. The offensive line was jittery as hell and the defense was trying too hard to not mess up, they did. Guh.
2) Who's to blame?!
Everyone would really really like to point the finger at "the Story", Tony Romo. I just don't think you can do that. Sure, he didn't have his best game, but I'd think he did what he could given the situation. Owens? No, he was still hurt and managed to draw double teams. Glenn? Nah, he made some catches that were pretty well done. Crayton? Easy to say, yes. He dropped too many crucial passes, especially after opening his big fucking mouth. No, I blame the offensive line. Stupid penalties. Terrible snaps. Zero protection. Good AND bad offenses start with the offensive line.
3) What now?!
Coaches interviewing, pissed off Jerry, annoyed fan base. Kind of sounds like status quo for the past 10 years if you ask me. Wade's going to reassess the situation and prep for the draft. Don't make any mistakes, Wade Phillips is going to be the coach here. Garrett will go to Baltimore, Sparano is going to go to Miami and don't be surprised if a few other assistants go with them. The first thing is to reload the coaching staff and set for the draft. Romo is going to go away for 3 months and then you'll see him showing up at celebrity events.
4) What about the football season?
To be honest, I'm damn near out now. Will I watch? Yes. Will I be really really actively paying attention? Minimally. Who am I pulling for? Green Bay. I'd love for Favre to meet the Patriots in the Super Bowl. The Patriots would win, but I think it'd be really cool to see Berman and Madden have respective heart attacks on the air.
5) What about the blog?
Not many of you read my shit anyway. I just steal stuff from other blogs and claim it's mine. Read Big's stuff. He knows what he's doing.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/10/08 - All Pro Football, holmes
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) So...good call on Brady Quinn
The Browns are planning on signing Derek "Horse Balls" Anderson to a multiyear deal soon. This is going to keep him off the restricted free agent market next year and will allow the Browns to do the following:
2) Haven't we learned anything?
I, like everyone else outside of the Northeast United States, would like nothing better than the Jaguars to walk out of Gilette Stadium with a collective "we shit in the cup and Belichick ate it" vibe. You know what? I don't really know what that means.
Take 2
I, like everyone else outside of Boston want the Jaguars to win on Sunday. Problem is, it isn't going to happen. Why is it not going to happen? Everyone is picking Jacksonville in the upset. It's too chic to happen.
3) Just one more time, I promise
I have nothing else to say regarding Romo in Mexico. I just find it god damn hilarious that Bobby Carpenter went with Tony Romo and Jason Witten and no one has mentioned it or seems to care. He's the big guy with the mustache. Admit it, you thought it was a Simpson uncle and not one of the Cowboy teammates.
4) Running back heavy draft
I'm not the draftnik that Big is, but it just seems to me that this year's draft is going to be chock full of running backs. This leads me to think a few things...
I wonder if Owens is healthy already and Phillips just doesn't want anyone to know, especially New York. If TO is healthy, I've got to pose the question...how? He recovered "miraculously" from a BROKEN LEG a couple of years ago. He's recovering from an injury that usually takes 6-8 weeks in half the time. Look, I understand that Terrell Owens at 31 is in better shape than a high majority of the population in any age group. I also understand that he has access to professional sports facilities that have training equipment and rehab staff that others can only dream of. However, given the nature of sports today, why does football get some sort of a pass? Is it not out of the realm of possibility that someone said, "take this, you'll heal faster" and given the competitor that he is, Owens said "okay"? I'm a fan, but I'm not naiive, that's all I'm saying.
1) So...good call on Brady Quinn
The Browns are planning on signing Derek "Horse Balls" Anderson to a multiyear deal soon. This is going to keep him off the restricted free agent market next year and will allow the Browns to do the following:
- make him the starter next year
- sit Quinn behind him for one more year
- if Anderson is the real deal, they can pull a San Diego a la Brees/Rivers and take a chance on Quinn or they can ship Quinn
- if Anderson is not, they can put Quinn in and have a backup who knows the system and has proven his worth, to a degree at least
2) Haven't we learned anything?
I, like everyone else outside of the Northeast United States, would like nothing better than the Jaguars to walk out of Gilette Stadium with a collective "we shit in the cup and Belichick ate it" vibe. You know what? I don't really know what that means.
Take 2
I, like everyone else outside of Boston want the Jaguars to win on Sunday. Problem is, it isn't going to happen. Why is it not going to happen? Everyone is picking Jacksonville in the upset. It's too chic to happen.
3) Just one more time, I promise
I have nothing else to say regarding Romo in Mexico. I just find it god damn hilarious that Bobby Carpenter went with Tony Romo and Jason Witten and no one has mentioned it or seems to care. He's the big guy with the mustache. Admit it, you thought it was a Simpson uncle and not one of the Cowboy teammates.
4) Running back heavy draft
I'm not the draftnik that Big is, but it just seems to me that this year's draft is going to be chock full of running backs. This leads me to think a few things...
- with the success of the spread offense and more colleges using it, are running backs fearing less exposure in college?
- with the advent of the dual back system in the pros, are there just more spots available for running backs?
- have systems like Denver and Tampa allowed for people to think that anyone who has two legs and two hands can run for 1,000 yards a season?
- are there that many NFL teams who are in desperate need of a running back that can't find the next Ryan Grant or Earnest Graham?
- mixture of all the above?
I wonder if Owens is healthy already and Phillips just doesn't want anyone to know, especially New York. If TO is healthy, I've got to pose the question...how? He recovered "miraculously" from a BROKEN LEG a couple of years ago. He's recovering from an injury that usually takes 6-8 weeks in half the time. Look, I understand that Terrell Owens at 31 is in better shape than a high majority of the population in any age group. I also understand that he has access to professional sports facilities that have training equipment and rehab staff that others can only dream of. However, given the nature of sports today, why does football get some sort of a pass? Is it not out of the realm of possibility that someone said, "take this, you'll heal faster" and given the competitor that he is, Owens said "okay"? I'm a fan, but I'm not naiive, that's all I'm saying.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/9/08 - Do you ever dream?
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) The Big House becomes The Big Empty House
Rich Rodriguez was happy with the win over Florida. So happy that he's decided to take Michigan's offense and give it a swift kick to the ass...as in, to the curb. Gone are Chad Henne and Mike Hart. With them? Adrian Arrington, Mario Manningham and Ryan Mallet. I'm not one to follow recruiting or the red shirts at Michigan, but this seems pretty aggresive given that Rich-Rod has been on the job for what, a month?
2) Fred Taylor is going to the Pro Bowl
I guess he sheds that title of "best player never to go to Honolulu", but really, it has to be bittersweet knowing that you weren't really selected by anyone, and it was more because Willie Parker broke his leg. If you think Taylor cares about this more than he does about playing New England, you're kidding yourself.
3) Falcons interested in Pete Carroll
Some guys are meant for the pros, some guys are meant for college. Don't make the mistake of thinking that because Pete Carroll is doing so well at USC that is going to translate to the pros. You can offer him all the power in the world, but it's how these guys interact with the players. By all accounts, Pete Carroll is a horse-around and get out and practice with the guys kind of coach. That shit flies with 19-21 year old guys, but not so much on upper 20's and 30's guys. Also, what in the hell is Arthur Blank doing? Shouldn't he have learned to leave the college ranks alone???
4) Mike Martz the new OC in San Francisco
I don't like this at all and niether should San Fransisco fans. How is Alex Smith going to learn in a system where he's going to get sacked 45 to 50 more times a season? How is Frank Gore going to like not getting any carries at all? Do they have any receivers at all to go deep? Sure, the defense might just have something to build on (probably because Nolan is a defensive guy), but that offense needs a stable minded person to run it, and not a wild-ass guy like Martz.
5) Jason Kidd's Miracle Mustache
The man has grown the mother of all creepy mustaches, even Vince Carter was dogging him about needing to shave it. Since growing it? Three straight triple double games...three more and he'll have 100 for his career. I won't add much, short of the defense from the American Mustache Institute
1) The Big House becomes The Big Empty House
Rich Rodriguez was happy with the win over Florida. So happy that he's decided to take Michigan's offense and give it a swift kick to the ass...as in, to the curb. Gone are Chad Henne and Mike Hart. With them? Adrian Arrington, Mario Manningham and Ryan Mallet. I'm not one to follow recruiting or the red shirts at Michigan, but this seems pretty aggresive given that Rich-Rod has been on the job for what, a month?
2) Fred Taylor is going to the Pro Bowl
I guess he sheds that title of "best player never to go to Honolulu", but really, it has to be bittersweet knowing that you weren't really selected by anyone, and it was more because Willie Parker broke his leg. If you think Taylor cares about this more than he does about playing New England, you're kidding yourself.
3) Falcons interested in Pete Carroll
Some guys are meant for the pros, some guys are meant for college. Don't make the mistake of thinking that because Pete Carroll is doing so well at USC that is going to translate to the pros. You can offer him all the power in the world, but it's how these guys interact with the players. By all accounts, Pete Carroll is a horse-around and get out and practice with the guys kind of coach. That shit flies with 19-21 year old guys, but not so much on upper 20's and 30's guys. Also, what in the hell is Arthur Blank doing? Shouldn't he have learned to leave the college ranks alone???
4) Mike Martz the new OC in San Francisco
I don't like this at all and niether should San Fransisco fans. How is Alex Smith going to learn in a system where he's going to get sacked 45 to 50 more times a season? How is Frank Gore going to like not getting any carries at all? Do they have any receivers at all to go deep? Sure, the defense might just have something to build on (probably because Nolan is a defensive guy), but that offense needs a stable minded person to run it, and not a wild-ass guy like Martz.
5) Jason Kidd's Miracle Mustache
The man has grown the mother of all creepy mustaches, even Vince Carter was dogging him about needing to shave it. Since growing it? Three straight triple double games...three more and he'll have 100 for his career. I won't add much, short of the defense from the American Mustache Institute
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/8/08 - It's a turrble thing
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) BCS, Schmee-CS
So that makes Ohio State a big time loser against the SEC in da bowl games. At least this year they didn't totally shit the bed like last year. LSU's a good team, and short of triple overtime losses, they would have been undefeated. I don't think anyone is going to truly challenge the fact that they should have been there. What it does mean is that the BCS really needs to reevaluate the way things are done. I understand the Pac-10 and the Big-10 are the biggest road blocks to changing the system because, well, shit if I know, but if the majority of conferences don't like things the way they are, they should force those two to change it or go fuck themselves.
2) The Tony Romo thing
Bitch and moan all you want to, my fellow bloggers, but the city and media of Dallas are going to cover this Romo Mexican Getaway with the same kind of fervor they would cover the Super Bowl in 2011. Dallas fans want to believe that the quarterback, the face of the team, is completely dedicated to the Cowboys and nothing else. It doesn't make sense at all, and it sounds pretty inane, but fans are stupid people. Period. We think that if players aren't spending any free time they have studying tape and playbooks is wasted, and we're quick to blame ANY outside interference that is on the radar. True, it has no effect on how Romo will play his game, but all of you (us) who bitch at the stories and coverage need to understand that people want to think it does, and the media wants to provide for the people, so you get this non-stop Catch-22 of stupidity. Deal with it.
3) As the coaching carousel turns
Joe Gibbs resigned this morning, adding one more spot to this year's coaching carousel. Contrary to Atlanta or Baltimore, I think this spot is going to be easy to fill: Greg Williams. Granted, Dan Snyder is the crazy sumbitch who went and got Spurrier, so who know what'll happen, but I think that keeping it in house is going to be the best option for the Redskins. Don't be surprised if the Ravens do the same and promote Rex Ryan to the head coach position either. Seems to be a trend, promote defensive guys to the head coach position and get a young guy to run your offense...
4) The Roger Clemens thing
Well, well, well, here's an different approach from Barry Bonds and Mark McGuire. Rather than sit and take a defensive stance, Clemens has decided to go in guns blazing. It's too bad that the court of public opinion is opposite from the country and believes that everyone is guilty and can never be proved innocent. No matter what Clemens does, he's going to banded a cheat. He can take a blood test, have Brian McNamee come out and say "yup, I lied" and do everything humanly possible, but people will still say "hey! masking agents! cheater!" Maybe, just this once, we can give someone the benefit of the...nevermind, it'll never happen.
5) Holy shit, women play basketball?
Here's an interesting tidbit, Colorado freshman forward, Britney Spears, was named the Big 12 Conference Women's basketball rookie of the week by helping Colorado win a game or some such. Her roommate's name? Whitney Houston. I shit you not.
1) BCS, Schmee-CS
So that makes Ohio State a big time loser against the SEC in da bowl games. At least this year they didn't totally shit the bed like last year. LSU's a good team, and short of triple overtime losses, they would have been undefeated. I don't think anyone is going to truly challenge the fact that they should have been there. What it does mean is that the BCS really needs to reevaluate the way things are done. I understand the Pac-10 and the Big-10 are the biggest road blocks to changing the system because, well, shit if I know, but if the majority of conferences don't like things the way they are, they should force those two to change it or go fuck themselves.
2) The Tony Romo thing
Bitch and moan all you want to, my fellow bloggers, but the city and media of Dallas are going to cover this Romo Mexican Getaway with the same kind of fervor they would cover the Super Bowl in 2011. Dallas fans want to believe that the quarterback, the face of the team, is completely dedicated to the Cowboys and nothing else. It doesn't make sense at all, and it sounds pretty inane, but fans are stupid people. Period. We think that if players aren't spending any free time they have studying tape and playbooks is wasted, and we're quick to blame ANY outside interference that is on the radar. True, it has no effect on how Romo will play his game, but all of you (us) who bitch at the stories and coverage need to understand that people want to think it does, and the media wants to provide for the people, so you get this non-stop Catch-22 of stupidity. Deal with it.
3) As the coaching carousel turns
Joe Gibbs resigned this morning, adding one more spot to this year's coaching carousel. Contrary to Atlanta or Baltimore, I think this spot is going to be easy to fill: Greg Williams. Granted, Dan Snyder is the crazy sumbitch who went and got Spurrier, so who know what'll happen, but I think that keeping it in house is going to be the best option for the Redskins. Don't be surprised if the Ravens do the same and promote Rex Ryan to the head coach position either. Seems to be a trend, promote defensive guys to the head coach position and get a young guy to run your offense...
4) The Roger Clemens thing
Well, well, well, here's an different approach from Barry Bonds and Mark McGuire. Rather than sit and take a defensive stance, Clemens has decided to go in guns blazing. It's too bad that the court of public opinion is opposite from the country and believes that everyone is guilty and can never be proved innocent. No matter what Clemens does, he's going to banded a cheat. He can take a blood test, have Brian McNamee come out and say "yup, I lied" and do everything humanly possible, but people will still say "hey! masking agents! cheater!" Maybe, just this once, we can give someone the benefit of the...nevermind, it'll never happen.
5) Holy shit, women play basketball?
Here's an interesting tidbit, Colorado freshman forward, Britney Spears, was named the Big 12 Conference Women's basketball rookie of the week by helping Colorado win a game or some such. Her roommate's name? Whitney Houston. I shit you not.
Monday, January 7, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/7/08 - LEEEROOOOY JENKINS!
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) No More Antonio...
The Chargers beat the Titans yesterday, but may have hurt their chances going forward, as Philip Rivers's security blanket, Antonio Gates might miss next week's game against Indy because of a sprained toe. Sure, a sprained toe sounds like a shitty injury, but that hurts if you've ever done it. Also, Eli shows a flash of "Manning-ness", Todd Collins earns a salary for next year in Baltimore (calling it!), and Hasslebeck is going to repeat a "we want the ball and we're going to score" performance in Green Bay.
2) Tony in Cabo
I don't really know what the other three bye week quarterbacks were doing, but Dallas's fearless leader was cavorting in Cabo St. Lucas with his lady friend and her family. Given the amount of heat he got from everywhere, especially here, do you think it was the best idea to do this before a playoff game? Sure, everyone is entitled to their personal lives, but there is something about being the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. To quote Gordo: "He's got the money and the tail, who cares about football anymore!?"
On a separate note, I was at a function this weekend where Jessica Simpson was brought up and a fat girl stood up and said "figures that men would blame a woman because a man couldn't get the job done!" That really just proves one thing...fat girls have no self esteem.
3) Kevin Smith going pro
Contrary to my view on Jamaal Charles going pro, I think this kid, the running back from UCF, is going to be a fantastic pro. He's a workhorse running back that piles up the yards left and right. I see him being the second option back in what is now a traditional system in the NFL. Think Marion Barber, Kevin Faulk, Michael Turner, etc.
4) Hey is that the Miami Heat?
No Shaq, no Wade, no White Chocolate, and if any of them do play it's with an injury. It's amazing how father time just kind of hops up and snatches a team. Ben and Skin offered up a very plausible trade scenario where the Mavericks dump a bunch of young talent over to Miami and assume the (now albatross) contract of Shaquille O'Neal. I'm really not sure how I feel about this. It would give Dallas a force in the paint, and make no mistake, Shaq is still that. Most importanty, it gives Dallas a leadership element in the post season they haven't had before. If anything, I'd want Josh Howard to become Shaq's new "little buddy".
5) St. Pierre vs Hughes...sign here.
I don't watch UFC, and I hardly follow MMA, but even I know this is a fight that I'd watch. Serra's last fight was an upset of St. Pierre to win the title in 2007. Serra got hurt and had to back out of fighting Matt Hughes. St. Pierre fought Hughes instead and beat him giving him an "interim title". St. Pierre doesn't want it that way and now him and Serra are going to go at it one more time in a legitimate title match and it should happen in April. Wrestlemania and Serra vs. Hughes in one month?? Direct TV, prepare to take my money.
BONUS) Muschamp to Texas and Jones to...SMU????
I'd be lying if I said when I read the story about Will Muschamp coming to Texas, I did a little bit of a celebration. I celebrated when Chizik arrives, and Muschamp is like Gene Chizik on steroids (probably not the best sports analogy, but you get what I mean). Chizik turned Texas's defense into a flurry of blitzing hell for offenses, and it resulted in a National Championship. Duane Akina is a soft and terrible coach and that's why we've seen nothing but defensive breakdowns as of late. Muschamp is going to take Texas's defense and turn it into something special, and he'll have a lot of deadweight graduate so he can work with a very malleable crop of guys. I expect Sergio Kindle to become Derrick Johnson part 2.
June Jones was all set to become the new coach at SMU. That's right, the Hawai'ian mastermind coming to Dallas. Now, it appears, UH has countered the offer and the entire island is begging him not to go, so he is reconsidering. Given the de-pantsing that Hawaii got courtesy of Georgia, and the fact his star QB is going pro, I'm wondering if Jones is looking for a reason to get out. Then again, given his success, he's got complete freedom from criticism down there versus getting attacked by the likes of Dallas sports radio. I'd keep an eye on things if I were you.
1) No More Antonio...
The Chargers beat the Titans yesterday, but may have hurt their chances going forward, as Philip Rivers's security blanket, Antonio Gates might miss next week's game against Indy because of a sprained toe. Sure, a sprained toe sounds like a shitty injury, but that hurts if you've ever done it. Also, Eli shows a flash of "Manning-ness", Todd Collins earns a salary for next year in Baltimore (calling it!), and Hasslebeck is going to repeat a "we want the ball and we're going to score" performance in Green Bay.
2) Tony in Cabo
I don't really know what the other three bye week quarterbacks were doing, but Dallas's fearless leader was cavorting in Cabo St. Lucas with his lady friend and her family. Given the amount of heat he got from everywhere, especially here, do you think it was the best idea to do this before a playoff game? Sure, everyone is entitled to their personal lives, but there is something about being the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. To quote Gordo: "He's got the money and the tail, who cares about football anymore!?"
On a separate note, I was at a function this weekend where Jessica Simpson was brought up and a fat girl stood up and said "figures that men would blame a woman because a man couldn't get the job done!" That really just proves one thing...fat girls have no self esteem.
3) Kevin Smith going pro
Contrary to my view on Jamaal Charles going pro, I think this kid, the running back from UCF, is going to be a fantastic pro. He's a workhorse running back that piles up the yards left and right. I see him being the second option back in what is now a traditional system in the NFL. Think Marion Barber, Kevin Faulk, Michael Turner, etc.
4) Hey is that the Miami Heat?
No Shaq, no Wade, no White Chocolate, and if any of them do play it's with an injury. It's amazing how father time just kind of hops up and snatches a team. Ben and Skin offered up a very plausible trade scenario where the Mavericks dump a bunch of young talent over to Miami and assume the (now albatross) contract of Shaquille O'Neal. I'm really not sure how I feel about this. It would give Dallas a force in the paint, and make no mistake, Shaq is still that. Most importanty, it gives Dallas a leadership element in the post season they haven't had before. If anything, I'd want Josh Howard to become Shaq's new "little buddy".
5) St. Pierre vs Hughes...sign here.
I don't watch UFC, and I hardly follow MMA, but even I know this is a fight that I'd watch. Serra's last fight was an upset of St. Pierre to win the title in 2007. Serra got hurt and had to back out of fighting Matt Hughes. St. Pierre fought Hughes instead and beat him giving him an "interim title". St. Pierre doesn't want it that way and now him and Serra are going to go at it one more time in a legitimate title match and it should happen in April. Wrestlemania and Serra vs. Hughes in one month?? Direct TV, prepare to take my money.
BONUS) Muschamp to Texas and Jones to...SMU????
I'd be lying if I said when I read the story about Will Muschamp coming to Texas, I did a little bit of a celebration. I celebrated when Chizik arrives, and Muschamp is like Gene Chizik on steroids (probably not the best sports analogy, but you get what I mean). Chizik turned Texas's defense into a flurry of blitzing hell for offenses, and it resulted in a National Championship. Duane Akina is a soft and terrible coach and that's why we've seen nothing but defensive breakdowns as of late. Muschamp is going to take Texas's defense and turn it into something special, and he'll have a lot of deadweight graduate so he can work with a very malleable crop of guys. I expect Sergio Kindle to become Derrick Johnson part 2.
June Jones was all set to become the new coach at SMU. That's right, the Hawai'ian mastermind coming to Dallas. Now, it appears, UH has countered the offer and the entire island is begging him not to go, so he is reconsidering. Given the de-pantsing that Hawaii got courtesy of Georgia, and the fact his star QB is going pro, I'm wondering if Jones is looking for a reason to get out. Then again, given his success, he's got complete freedom from criticism down there versus getting attacked by the likes of Dallas sports radio. I'd keep an eye on things if I were you.
Friday, January 4, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/4/08 - Touch My Wii
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) The Fighting Manginos!
I received a text while watching the end of the Kansas game last night from Big: "Anyone else scared mangino is going to eat all those oranges" That pretty much sums it up.
2) Tony Sparano!
It isn't official, but I can give you a Brown guarantee that Tony Sparano is going to be the next head coach of the Miami Dolphins. Parcells just wants to hire his guys, that's his bit. My only concern is that Tony Sparano looks like Adolf Hitler, and there are a lot of Jewish people living in Florida. I dunno, you put two and two together...
3) Coaching Carousel!
There has to be a better way of doing things. If a team is going to be raided for its assistants, that's fine, I understand the reasoning behind it. It just doesn't seem right to do it as these teams are attempting to prepare for the playoffs. I'd much rather Jason Garrett be focused on getting Tony Romo to get his mind off bitches and back to football then have Jason Garrett be concerned as to how he is going to properly mold Brian Brohm in Atlanta.
4) Nick Swisher!
A HUGE Ranger killer has been traded from Oakland to the ChiSox. Good gracious, what is "the genius" Billy Beane doing? First Dan Haren, now Nick Swisher. If I had to guess, he took a look around the AL and said "too many stacked teams, we can't compete, let's have a fire sale and rebuild".
5) Isiah Thomas!
You know what, I just don't know anymore. Does anyone else think that Zeke has reached Britney Spears levels of batshit crazy? Everything that Thomas does or says makes you do a double take and think, "holy crap! what's next?" Partner that with the fact that I think Isiah Thomas looks like the lost 7th Jackson brother, and he's doomed.
1) The Fighting Manginos!
I received a text while watching the end of the Kansas game last night from Big: "Anyone else scared mangino is going to eat all those oranges" That pretty much sums it up.
2) Tony Sparano!
It isn't official, but I can give you a Brown guarantee that Tony Sparano is going to be the next head coach of the Miami Dolphins. Parcells just wants to hire his guys, that's his bit. My only concern is that Tony Sparano looks like Adolf Hitler, and there are a lot of Jewish people living in Florida. I dunno, you put two and two together...
3) Coaching Carousel!
There has to be a better way of doing things. If a team is going to be raided for its assistants, that's fine, I understand the reasoning behind it. It just doesn't seem right to do it as these teams are attempting to prepare for the playoffs. I'd much rather Jason Garrett be focused on getting Tony Romo to get his mind off bitches and back to football then have Jason Garrett be concerned as to how he is going to properly mold Brian Brohm in Atlanta.
4) Nick Swisher!
A HUGE Ranger killer has been traded from Oakland to the ChiSox. Good gracious, what is "the genius" Billy Beane doing? First Dan Haren, now Nick Swisher. If I had to guess, he took a look around the AL and said "too many stacked teams, we can't compete, let's have a fire sale and rebuild".
5) Isiah Thomas!
You know what, I just don't know anymore. Does anyone else think that Zeke has reached Britney Spears levels of batshit crazy? Everything that Thomas does or says makes you do a double take and think, "holy crap! what's next?" Partner that with the fact that I think Isiah Thomas looks like the lost 7th Jackson brother, and he's doomed.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
The Brown Five - 1/3/08 - Now with titles!
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
Note: Yes, I missed about 2 weeks of stories. No, I'm not going to go back in time and recount them. Other bloggers either get paid or really give a damn, not me.
1) Parcells cleans house
Randy Mueller, gone. Cam Cameron and his assistants, gone. Dallas Cowboys cupboard? Getting raided. If you know anything about Bill Parcells he only hires "Parcells Guys". Half of those people are in Dallas right now, and Bill would like nothing more than to rip the carpet out from the house he built in Dallas. Keep on eye on things.
2) Oklahoma is so good in bowls
Sure, win the Big XII all you want to then go shit the bed in bowl games. Way to represent the conference, ass faces. Sure, Texas might lost you ass holes a lot, but at least we go and win our bowl games, and we're 2-0 in the BCS games we've played with the same number of national championships. No one likes Oklahoma except for the slack jaws in Norman. Best prediction to come from the WVU win at the Fiesta Bowl? Pat White probably got some of Erin Andrews.
3) The Mother of all Bad Decisions
Jamaal Charles is going to declare himself for the 2008 NFL draft. I'm not so sure this is a good idea, in fact, I think it's a bad idea. This is also one of those times that I really hope I'm wrong. I've been watching this kid since he was a freshman, and nothing ever has said to me "NFL". (Granted, no one said that about Priest Holmes when he was at Texas.) At 6'1" and 205 pounds with speed, he's an interesting choice, but this is a simple case of "strike while the iron's hot". So much for that 2008 Heisman run.
4) Royals making a move at Bartolo Colon
He's a Ranger killer, so I wouldn't mine seeing him get the fuck out of the division. However, I'm not so sure Kansas City is making a good move here (surprise, surprise). Given the nature of Colon's injuries and his ever increasing challenge to David Wells in a sumo contest, he's not the force he's been before.
5) Mavs destroy Warriors
What rivalry? Sure, it only matters during May and June. I've heard that argument before, but that doesn't make the regular season totally bunk. Bottom line is, if Nelly has figured out Dirk and the Mavericks, then he should be able to beat them in November and December as well as in May and June. Kudos to Brandon Bass. Welcome back to the team, buddy.
Note: Yes, I missed about 2 weeks of stories. No, I'm not going to go back in time and recount them. Other bloggers either get paid or really give a damn, not me.
1) Parcells cleans house
Randy Mueller, gone. Cam Cameron and his assistants, gone. Dallas Cowboys cupboard? Getting raided. If you know anything about Bill Parcells he only hires "Parcells Guys". Half of those people are in Dallas right now, and Bill would like nothing more than to rip the carpet out from the house he built in Dallas. Keep on eye on things.
2) Oklahoma is so good in bowls
Sure, win the Big XII all you want to then go shit the bed in bowl games. Way to represent the conference, ass faces. Sure, Texas might lost you ass holes a lot, but at least we go and win our bowl games, and we're 2-0 in the BCS games we've played with the same number of national championships. No one likes Oklahoma except for the slack jaws in Norman. Best prediction to come from the WVU win at the Fiesta Bowl? Pat White probably got some of Erin Andrews.
3) The Mother of all Bad Decisions
Jamaal Charles is going to declare himself for the 2008 NFL draft. I'm not so sure this is a good idea, in fact, I think it's a bad idea. This is also one of those times that I really hope I'm wrong. I've been watching this kid since he was a freshman, and nothing ever has said to me "NFL". (Granted, no one said that about Priest Holmes when he was at Texas.) At 6'1" and 205 pounds with speed, he's an interesting choice, but this is a simple case of "strike while the iron's hot". So much for that 2008 Heisman run.
4) Royals making a move at Bartolo Colon
He's a Ranger killer, so I wouldn't mine seeing him get the fuck out of the division. However, I'm not so sure Kansas City is making a good move here (surprise, surprise). Given the nature of Colon's injuries and his ever increasing challenge to David Wells in a sumo contest, he's not the force he's been before.
5) Mavs destroy Warriors
What rivalry? Sure, it only matters during May and June. I've heard that argument before, but that doesn't make the regular season totally bunk. Bottom line is, if Nelly has figured out Dirk and the Mavericks, then he should be able to beat them in November and December as well as in May and June. Kudos to Brandon Bass. Welcome back to the team, buddy.
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