Shit there's way too much going on, so I'm going to pull an old favorite out of the hat...
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) The King is dead. Long live the King.
I was very drunk on Saturday. Very. That being said, I was able to drag my ass out of bed a few hours after sleeping to turn on the television for the Wimbledon final between, surprise surprise, Federer and Nadal. As a former tennis player, I was blown away at how amazing this match was. Amazing. By the way, Federer is 26 and Nadal is 22...expect this for a long time to come. I'm thinking that the PGA really needs to find Nadal to Tiger's Federer. Lefty ain't it. Sergio ain't it. Els nor Goosen are it. Someone...
2) Wait, he still wants to play?
Brett Favre, apparently, wants to come back. Green Bay, apparently, doesn't want him to come back. I think that Green Bay is right. They have to move on. The fans have accepted it, and Aaron Rodgers (or Brian Brohm) are going to be the future. Bringing him back is like getting back together with your crazy ex. Your friends liked her, but you knew she was bat shit crazy, but you do it because the sex was great, and your friends would give you shit if you didn't.
3) Seattle caves, makes Brown's shit list of cities
This bothers me because I happen to love the city of Seattle. It's a really great place to go if you haven't been. That being said, the chicken shit move of kowtowing to Clay Bennett? God damn it. After 41 years, Kevin Durant and the Seattle Sonics will be playing in America's ass hole, Oklahoma City...and it didn't even require the city being destroyed by a hurricane. Clay Bennett, welcome to wonderful world of Art Modell. Cock pouch.
4) Two, count 'em, two Ranger starters
Josh Hamilton and Milton Bradley will be representing the Texas Rangers in the outfield and DH, respectively, at the All Star game this year. Kinsler and Young are reserves. I haven't said much about it because if you don't know me, I fear the jinx, but the Rangers are coming around. We've sat through years of crap, but now you can see a lot of young guys, both on the roster and coming up. Pitching has always been an issue, but similar to the 1990's, cobbling together a pitching staff around a good bunch of clubhouse guys is much easier than doing it around a bunch of shit.
5) A-Rod gets divorced
If it has to do with Kaballah, you'll see Big do a dance. Why? He gets to blame the Jews for something new.
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