The Brown Five - 12/12/07

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) Petrino quits, and people are happy(?)
Bobby Petrino realized he was more Saban and Spurrier than he was Jimmy Johnson and decided to quit on the Falcons and take the job as the new coach of the Razorbacks. On ESPN radio, they had Brian Finneran, a receiver for Atlanta who said this was good because no one liked Petrino. Arkansas is happy because they have a successful college coach. What about Arthur Blank? Talk about a shitty, shitty season. Personally, I think this is the highest form of douchebaggery, and Petrino should be getting shredded all over the place for this crap. You had 3 games to go and you quit? Really?

2) TJ Ford's neck is like Grant Hill's ankles and Allan Houston's knees
TJ Ford has had spinal injuries for awhile now. I remember he was playing pick up basketball at Gregory Gym and hurt his neck and Rick Barnes wanted to kill a bunch of the intramural college kids at Texas. Anyways, it happened against last night when Al Horford hit him in the back and caused Ford to fall and smack his head on the ground. Horford was ejected, and Ford went to the hospital. That's some bullshit, and this is why the league needs to demand each team have a Charles Oakley. (I know this was unintentional, and TrueHoop tells how Horford immediately went to the hospital, but this is my chance to promote my "every team needs an Oakley" rule.)

3) Fukudome to the Cubbies and the Rangers get Fucked more
The guy I really really really wanted to see in a Rangers uniform made his decision to go to the Cubs for a 4 year/$50 MM contract. God damn it. You're telling me we couldn't afford that? I'm sick of this crap. He would have worked well. What did the Rangers do? They signed the reliever, Fukumore instead. By the way, he's injured right now. So, the two signings so far? An injured, crazy 29 year old outfielder and an injured 31 year old closer. Jon Daniels, Theo Epstein you are not.

4) I'm not sure this Isaiah thing can get worse
Really, now he's blaming the fans for the disaster that is the New York Knicks? Oh wow. You know, on paper, that's not really THAT bad of a team. I have to wonder if, given a good coach, they could actually see some success. Then again, they play in the East, and with those guys in Boston, I'm not sure about it. Speaking of that, please tell me you saw the Sportscenter commercial where they are asking for help on a nickname and do the "Three Amigos Salute". Comedy of epic proportions.

5) Mangino gets coach of the year.
I'll have nothing to add but this:

giggle