So, if you haven’t seen the story Josh Selby, let me give you a little bit of background here…
Josh Selby was Tennessee’s prize basketball recruit. The proverbial crown jewel of the class. Selby’s a consensus top 10 national recruit, and he committed to UTenn back in September of last year. Now all of the sudden, after attending a basketball camp with his mother, Selby has decommitted to UTenn and is now looking at Kentucky and Oregon.
Now, given the landscape of recruiting in 2009, the commitment/decommitment rituals of the high school student are nothing to be surprised at. Shit, when I was 17/18, I was emo-confused about what I was going to eat for dinner. So, why is Selby’s case so special?
Hint Number 1: Tennessee is an Adidas school Hint Number 2: Kentucky and Oregon are Nike schools Hint Number 3: The camp that Selby attended was a Nike camp
See where this is going?
The man at the center of this controversy is a man named William Wesley. Name ring a bell? How’s about his nickname, “Worldwide Wes”? His Wikipedia page...
See, no one knows how or what the hell purpose Wes has, but he’s always at the center of these things.
So, to recap:
1) Selby recruits to Tennessee, an Adidas school 2) Selby attends a Nike camp with his mother 3) Mother chats with William Wesley, noted Nike shill and good friend of John Calipari (now coach at Kentucky. Former coach at Memphis where both of Selby’s cousins play) 4) Selby de-commits from Tennessee and now is interested in Kentucky.
The NCAA seems sit on a pretty high perch when it comes to slapping people with recruiting restrictions…loopholes sure are fun.
I'm going to admit that I've been a Rick Reilly fan since I discovered Sports Illustrated as a kid. For all his "Reilly-ness", his stories always had my attention, and I thought his approach was certainly different.
I followed Reilly through SI, and now onto ESPN.com What I've noticed now is that a) I'm more cynical than ever b) Reilly is an old man with good ol' days syndrome or c) I'm easily irritated.
It's probably all three.
Anyway, his latest piece might have been one of the asinine things I've ever read.
"Tiger Woods has outgrown those Urkel glasses he had as a kid. Outgrown the crazy hair. Outgrown a body that was mostly neck.
When will he outgrow his temper?
The man is 33 years old, married, the father of two. He is paid nearly $100 million a year to be the representative for some monstrously huge companies, from Nike to Accenture. He is the world's most famous and beloved athlete.
And yet he spent most of his two days at Turnberry last week doing the Turn and Bury. He'd hit a bad shot, turn and bury his club into the ground in a fit. It was two days of Tiger Tantrums -- slamming his club, throwing his club and cursing his club. In front of a worldwide audience."
Let me get this straight. The guy is a corporate automaton who maintains a public presence the way Nike and IEG expect. He has achieved a role model status that not many (if any) have reached and does so, but we're going to get mad at him because he gets mad? On a golf course?
Really?
Look, I've played golf with hot heads and with serene people all the same, and every now and then, a curse word is released into the world. Apparently, that makes Rick Reilly cry.
"It's disrespectful to the game, disrespectful to those he plays with and disrespectful to the great players who built the game before him. Ever remember Jack Nicklaus doing it? Arnold Palmer? When Tom Watson was getting guillotined in that playoff to Stewart Cink, did you see him so much as spit? Only one great player ever threw clubs as a pro -- Bobby Jones -- and he stopped in his 20s when he realized how spoiled he looked."
Does that sell the game?
Make no mistake, Tiger is selling the PGA and himself. People don't want calm, cool and collected or else Tim Duncan would be more marketable and attractive than LeBron James and Kobe Bryant combined.
On the course is the one place that Tiger can be Tiger in the public eye. He can't do it at the podium, he can't do it in the interview chair, he can't do it walking the street with his family. On the golf course, he can be in the public eye as well as be what he is, the greatest golfer to play the game. If part of that means that Tiger shows emotion and releases a stream of curse words that kids probably hear on KISS FM anyway, then so be it. Why is it so bad that the world sees Tiger be upset when something goes wrong? Is that not better than us apologizing, giving him the shot back and saying "do it until your happy because everyone wins?" You know, follow the pussy-fication of America's youth that happens today?
Should Tiger be Happy Gilmore and launch clubs and beat the shit out of someone? No. Should he be allowed to show extreme displeasure when something goes awry that is completely his fault? Very honestly, yes. Golf etiquette and showing emotion can co-exist while keeping golf a "gentleman's game".
By the by, Rick...is saying golf is a gentleman's game versus the brats in the NBA, baseball and football a subtle way of you saying "golf doesn't like black people"? (Relax! I kid. I kid.)
Let me remind everyone of something, we aren’t paid to do this blog. It’s a hobby. When we have free time, we post our thoughts or stupid shit like pictures we find or videos we find.
I apologize that we haven’t been able to post as frequently as we’d like. Jobs, life, and other stuff tend to get in the way.
We’ll post when we get time, and that’s that. If you want to see stuff up here every day that’s new, you’re more than welcome to subsidize my income. Until then, keep checking back for updates, and don’t hesitate to use our link list over there on the right. It’s where we steal most of our shit from anyway.
I love EA as much as the next man…but doesn’t she kind of look like Lane Kiffin in this picture?
If you haven’t read a single blog since Friday, you might have missed the whole story regarding how Erin Andrews was videotaped in her hotel room, nude, ironing her clothes and straightening her hair.
(Hello, Google searchers. Sorry you didn’t find the videos. Please, feel free to peruse the site anyway.)
Anyway, I actually did manage to see the videos before the whole thing blew up and ESPN lawyers fired the internet. I’ll say this much. You’re really desperate for material if a blonde, blurry picture of a nude woman who kind of looks like Erin Andrews for a split second does it for you. Head to Brazzers and you’ll be better off.
Anyway, I guess my view on this is, yes it’s a pretty disgusting thing that people would obviously premeditatedly plan to video tape this woman in her room, but who roams around a hotel room naked with a curling iron and a clothes iron? Seriously. I lived in hotel rooms for about 6 years, and at no point in time did I think to iron my clothes or style my hair in the nude. I’m not saying that I didn’t walk from the bathroom to the closet/suitcase nude, but, really, she was starkers with a hot curling iron next to her jubblies and a clothes iron next to her holy triangle. Ballsy is the word I want to use, yet it seems inappropriate.
Yes, this post had zero relevance…I just wanted to drive traffic by mentioning the story.
So, last weekend at UFC 100, Brock Lesnar defeated Frank Mir to become the “undisputed” heavyweight champion of the UFC. After the fight, he proceeded to flip off the crowd, demean Frank Mir, and give a “WWE-like” victory speech.
This seemed to cause an uproar because…well, I’m not too sure.
I’m not a huge MMA fan. I’m more of a boxing guy, but I watch MMA on the periphery with the guys, and I know who’s who. Here’s the thing…exactly what is so wrong about showing a little bit of personality?
Is Dana White that terrified of being lumped with Vince McMahon? Does he think that if his guys show some personality that they’ll be seen as on par with pro wrestlers instead of as fighters?
I’m pretty sure even the most hardcore of MMA fan isn’t the same kind of guy as the baseball purist here or Joe Buck complaining about Randy Moss’s touchdown celebrations. The whole god damn sport is based on raw brutality and primal instinct.
Guys talking trash, showing personality and creating rivalries is what drives interest. Period. If you ask me, the entire argument against Lesnar and his actions are wholly based in the fact that he was a former pro wrestler and MMA junkies are so terrified of being lumped with the WWE and its fan base.
Well, it hasn’t exactly been a secret. I hate Jessica Simpson. Hate her. I can find a big tittied, overweight blond anywhere in Dallas. Why should this bitch be famous?
Anyway, if you didn’t see the story (and I’m not sure why), Tony pulled a move that I personally find so awesome, it brought a tear to my eye. Allow me to show you how I believe it went…
Jessica: It’s my birthday coming up tomorrow.
Tony: Golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. Bobby Carpenter.
Jessica: I want to have a party.
Tony: Boat. Boat. Golf. Jason Witten. Guitar Hero.
Jessica: How about a Barbie and Ken party?
Tony: Go—…what?
Jessica: A Barbie and Ken Party! I can be Barbie!!!
Tony: That’s it. I’m out. Peace, bitch.
And…scene.
You might think that I’d be happy that Tony’s single. I am happy that he’s lost the weight. However, as much as I love Tony Romo, he’s a big ol’ douche.
My fear is that now he’s going to be more focused on partying and being a douche that he’s going to be that much less focused on football…and this is supposed to be his breakout season.
Jerry’s (probably more Steven) made all the moves this off-season to make this team Tony Romo’s. Gone went Owens. Garrett has simplified the playbook and made it run-heavier. Marty B has kept people entertained. (Captain Crunch!!!!) Now it’s Tony’s turn to show that the right moves were made.
Think about it. For all the crap Owens pulled, was he ever out of shape? Was he ever missing practices? Didn’t his teammates, for the most part, love him and follow him? Can you say the same thing about Tony Romo?
Not that long ago, I was lamenting Donnie Nelson’s horrendous draft choice of the frog legged wunderkind, Roddy Beauxbois. In fact, I believe I claimed that he had to do something to show me that the Mavs were making an effort to change.
So, let’s review what he’s pulled off since…
-Re-signed Jason Kidd. Got him at a bit of a high price, but let’s be honest, it had to be done. There was no other option unless they went for a stop-gap solution in a Jarrett Jack or Jomario Moon.
-Traded for Shawn Marion. Now, if we were playing fantasy basketball, I think this a great idea. You’re getting a guy that a few years ago was averaging a double-double and was known for playing lock down defense. He even had a great nickname, “The Matrix”. I like the move though. Gives a slasher and allows an interesting rotation across the 2-3-4 among Howard, Marion, Terry, Dirk, Singleton, etc. The problem here was that it all depended on the Mavericks landing or securing a 5 that was more reliable/athletic than Erick Dampier.
-The Marcin Gortat experiment. So, let’s review what happened. Gortat wants to come to Dallas. He got the full MLE and guaranteed minutes. Dallas was SO SURE that he’d sign, they let Orlando sign Brandon Bass. (There’s a whole science behind why Bass was never going to play in Dallas, but for all intents and purposes, they didn’t re-sign him because they thought they pocketed Gortat.) Turns out Orlando fucked Dallas in both holes by matching Gortat.
So now what? The Mavs would have been a VERY VERY impressive squad with Gortat. Not because he was great, but he allowed the flexibility and athletic ability to run that rotation across the 2-3-4. Now, they’re bare on the 5. Dallas has to get an athletic center because we all know that Damp ain’t it. Watch the trade block after 30 games.
Rick Carlisle is a good coach and Cuban is willing to pay the luxury tax. I still think Donnie Nelson is a terrible GM, but let’s see what he does mid-stream.
We make no apology's here at TB&TB when it comes to wrestling. We have enjoyed the entertainment "sport" as long as we have been alive. If we don't get together on Mondays to watch RAW, we spend most of Monday night texting each other like little school girls. Last night, the question was asked "who are the writer for WWE, and how can we become one?" The question was fuled by another show of predicable story lines and more and more of the "same ol' stuff." Thus began the debate on how, if you were in charge of the WWE, would you run it? So have no fear, Big is here, to "fix" the WWE.
Step one. Branding. The current WWE roster is "broken down" into 3 shows. Monday night Raw (the flag ship), Friday night Smackdown (the "b" show) and ECW on Tuesday night (the C show and proving ground). The first thing I would do is make these show completely independent of each other. No more stoylines that have people cross over between the three shows. The idea is to make the one company, WWE, feel like it had three different identities.
One step to do this is move all the Women wrestlers (or as WWE calls them, Divas) onto the Monday night show RAW. Now you may have to "trim the fat" of some of the Diva's on the roster, but condensing and focusing the talent into one brand would only create better Diva matches, which the WWE desperately need right now.
The next step in Branding is move all the tag teams to Friday night. For too long now the tag team division in wrestling in general has been forgotten and miss used. By replacing the women on Smackdown with tag matches and more importantly mic time, I believe the fans would get behind them in no time flat. A caveat to this is you can't have just also ran Tag Teams in the tag team division. You need star power. Think Hardys or Edge and Christian (note, they are doing a good job of this with having Edge and Jericho hold the straps right now).
While ECW is being used very well at the moment as a proving ground for up and coming wrestlers, even it could use a slight retooling. I suggest reforming the Cruiser weight Division Championship, and giving that to ECW. While Vince has always been a fan of the Super Heavyweight, and always will be, there is a sector of people who enjoy the small, high flying aspect of cruiser weight wrestling. Don't believe me? take a look at this video from WCW Starcade, 1999, where 4 cruisers stole the PPV with this crazy match which included Billy Kidman Vs. Rey Misterio, Jr. Vs. Juventud Guerrera Vs. Psicosis.
You can't tell me people won't be entertained by that.
So let's break down the branding.
RAW - Diva's (stays the Flag ship. Geared more toward family's, pg rating)
Smackdown - Tag Teams (a little more mature, place where people who preform on the mic and in the ring are valued more, geared more toward the older wrestling fan)
ECW - Cruiser's (Still a proving ground for up and coming Heavys, also has the infusion of cruisers to make show worth watching.)
Step 2 Fixing PPV's
Over the years, WWE has tried to create more buz around its PPV's by including things like the Elimination chamber during No Way Out, or the extreme rules matches at Extreme Rules. This is exactly what WWE needs to do, but take it up another notch.
As it stands right now there are 4 big PPV's every year, with 8 or 10 others every month. As it stands right now, only the Royal Rumble has an yearly pay out of a title shot. I'm going to change that. Stating with the Big One, Wrestlemanina.
WrestleMania is the biggest show of the year, and to add to it, every year the WWE Champion and World Heavyweight Champion will fight. The end of every wrestlemaina will have one superstar holding both title belts in celebration, and the time between Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania will be the only time during the season that wrestlers would be allowed to cross brand lines.
Of course this creates a wrinkle in the winner of the Royal Rumble has traditionally gotten a title shot at Mania, but this is an easy fix. I would move the PPV No Way Out, which is traditionally between the Rumble and Mania, to October, and the October PPV, Bragging Rights, to February. This way the winner of the Rumble gets not only a title shot at Bragging Rights, but if he wins, he gets to headline Wrestlemania with a match between the opposing brands champion.
Think of the push a wrestler can have in just 3 months. From winning the Rumble, to winning the Title at Bragging Rights, to becoming the unified champion and headlining Wrestlemania. I will explain swapping Bragging Right and No Way Out in just a bit.
Next up after Mania? Draft. On the second Monday following Mania, the Draft takes place. I would like the draft to be a little more calculated, and a little less random as it is shown now. Let the GM's of the shows actually draft, or maybe even have a small 3 vs 3 matches where the winner can chose what brand he goes to. (think of the champ who loses at wrestlemania, winning a chance to change brands and go after the guy who beat him). Now as I said earlier, there will be no cross brand competition other than the time between the Rumble and Mania, and a small time before Survivor Series, so when Mania crowns a new unified champion, the superstar who wins would have to chose which belt he wants to defend on which show. The other belt then becomes the main story line for the next PPV, Backlash. Any number of things can be done for that PPV, a King of the Ring type tournament, a Scramble match for the vacant title, a tourny that takes place during TV culminating in a finials at the PPV, any number of things can take place.
After Backlash, there is a normal PPV in Judgment Day, which can be used to finish Mania feuds and start building toward the summer push.
Then Extreme Rules. I like this PPV a lot because of the fact it is a little different then most. The only change I would have with this one is use ECW more. This needs to be the one PPV of the year that they really get over. Have 2 or 3 ECW matches on this one, including a ECW title match, Crueser Weight Match, and ECW vs the world in a 5 on 5 extreme showdown, where each week on ECW, one member of the ECW team calls out someone who they think "soft" from the other brands, and forces them to be in this crazy extreme match.
The next two PPV's The Bash and Night of Chapionons, would remain unchanged.
Then the 3rd biggest PPV of the year, Summerslam. This has always been one of my favorite PPV's for little reason than it usually the only one during my childhood where I could convince my parents to let me order it while I had a bunch of buddies over to watch it. Looking back, I'm sure it was because there was no school during the summer and this was the last good thing that happend before school started, and my folks thought it would be fun to have one last summer hoo-rahh.
With the Summerslam PPV, I can fix 2 problems with one little solution.
I have always been a fan of the IC belt (and TV belt in WCW), because the IC champion was always one of my favorite guys to watch as a kid (Warrior, Rude, Honkey Tonk), and I feel the IC and US belts right now have very little meaning. Well, that would change here, because at Summerslam, it would be IC/US vs. WWE/World Champion. Belt for belt, every year.
This would help in 2 ways, it would give credence(especially leading up to Summerslam) to big name guys wanting to win the IC/US Belt, and it would create another situation, much like after Wrestlemaina, where after the Slam, the IC/US belt would be vacant, and the idea's of what do to with vacnt belt are endless, and it at the least gives you two good matches mid to high card matches for the next PPV, Breaking Point. If this is too much title changing, than make Summerslam a non title match for the IC/US champ.
Breaking Point would be for the most part a normal PPV, with the chance to have the vacant IC/US title belts up for grabs.
Next is Hell in a Cell, normal, no changes.
Now the swapped No Way Out. I moved this one here because it gives yet another opportunity for someone to become number one contender during the Elimination Chamber, and the pay off is having a title shot at the 4th biggest PPV of the year, Survivor Series. Survivor Series would have the pay off from No Way Out as well as a traditional (sort of) 3 way 5 on 5 on 5 survivor series match between the 3 different brands.
The last PPV before we get back to the Rumble is Armageddon, and should be more or less a set up the the story lines that will start at the Rumble and end at Mania.
So lets recap
Royal Rumble - Winning getting title shot at Bragging Rights. Bragging Rights - Title Shot for Royal Rumble Winner Wrestlemania - WWE Champ vs. World Heavyweight Champ Draft Backlash - Crowning of new champion who's brand lost a Mania Judgment Day - Normal, finish story lines of Mania. Extreme Rules - ECW Payday, 3 or 5 ECW Stars/Future Stars vs 5 other brand stars who have been called out as not extreme enough for WWE. The Bash - Normal Night of Chapionons - Every Title on the line Summerslam - IC/US vs. WWE/World Heavyweight Champ. Breaking Point - Normal Hell in a Cell - Normal No Way Out - Elimination Chamber, either for Title, or for #1 Contender. Survivor Series - Chamber Pay off, 5 on 5 on 5 Tri-Brand tradional SS match. Armageddon - Normal
With all of these changes, I believe it would give the WWE three separate yet competitive brands, put more clout in both the IC and US belts, and give each brand a different identity. But I'm just a cave man.
“NASCAR confirmed Wednesday that suspended driver Jeremy Mayfield tested positive for methamphetamines.
The confirmation came outside federal court after Mayfield's attorney mentioned the illegal substance several times during a 45-minute argument against the driver's indefinite suspension. Court recessed after Bill Diehl's argument and is set to reconvene Wednesday afternoon.
"We will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jeremy Mayfield did violate the NASCAR substance-abuse policy and tested positive for methamphetamines," spokesman Ramsey Poston said.
Diehl argued in court that Mayfield has never shown any characteristics of a meth abuser, and if he used the drug at the levels NASCAR has suggested, Mayfield would be "either a walking zombie or he's dead."”
That’s right. NASCAR driver on meth.
Of all the sports and drugs mixes, this might make the most sense.
Tomorrow is the beginning of the NBA free agent period, and after the abortion that was the mav's draft (prince abu-abu?), the only hope for retooling the Mav's roster now lies in the hands of Donnie Nelson and Mark Cuban to open up the pay check and find some guys that will help get this team back to the elite level.
Nobody knows, and I haven't even heard many rumors about the Mav's off season plan. They may be playing it close to the vest, as they hope not spoil their big plans, or they may still think Dirk + Guys = Championship, but lord I hope not.
The Free Agent crop this year is good, but not great, and the Mav's have a (mostly) full mid level, and with Kidd's money coming off the books, a sign and trade could most deff happen. I don't expect them to get a top tier guy, but there are lot of helpful players out there. Here is what I would do.
Top Priority:
Secure the Point Guard. Either resign Jason Kidd, or get ready to roll with JJ and Terry running the point with a few min to the kidd from France they just drafted. If Kidd leaves, which he might, there are a few guys out there that could be had as stop gaps and play a decent roll, but none are on Kidds level. Guys like Jarrett Jack or the ageing Andre Miller. Either one of those guys, plus JJ would get you by, but it doesn't make you better even in the slightest.
Top Priority #2:
Find a Slasher who can score.
This has been the bane of the Mavericks as long as I have been watching them. They haven't had anybody (outside of one or two good years from Stack) that has no problem going to the rim, taking a foul, and the dreaded "create their own shot" ability. There aren't many guys in the league that can do this, so to say the pickings are slim would be an understatement, but there is most def room to improve here.
Lamar Odom or Trevor Ariza from LA could help, as they probably won't keep them both. Odom has the ability to be a top 15 guy, but lacks the discipline, and while Ariza's ceiling is lower, he works harder and plays good defence.
Ron Artest is another guy who can bring inconsistent play, but would add an air of toughness to this team that it lacks. The thought of him being apart of this class was almost unthinkable, but with the recent news of Yao Ming's foot possibly keeping the big man on the bench for another year, Artest may not want to stay in Houston if they have no chance at winning a title.
After these three, there is a slew of good role players, that would be about the same level as a healthy focused Josh Howard, but probably cost too much. Guys like Hedo Turkoglu(ball handling and jump shot,) Shawn Marion (defense and shooting), Hakim Warrick (rebounding and defence), and Marvin Williams (athleticism and rebounding). While all those guys are nice, they arn't worth the money they would command, except for maybe Williams, he might could be had on the cheep.
Pressing Needs #1
Back Court back up's.
Dirk is Dirk, and will be for the next several years, and we all know what we are going to get out of Damp, and with that in mind, the mav's need to have people behind these two guys to spell them some minutes and when Damp fouls way to much. Project one would be resigning Brandon Bass, but he might think he could start somewhere. If he leaves, guys like Charlie Villanueva, Antonio McDyess, and everybodys favorite Chris Andersen. I would take any of these four guys, as long as the price is right, and they don't' get locked into a bad contract.
Now that you know what I'm thinking, let me tell you what I would do.
PG - Resign Jason Kidd. 2 or 3 year deal, keep the Kidd - Dirk tandem as your core to make another push over the next 3 years.
SG - Marquis Daniels. Off him part of the mid level, share his min with the streaky Terry.
SF - Ron Artest. Trade Josh Howard away to Houston in a sign and trade, where they would use Howard to pair with T-Mac and get rid of the disgruntled star.
PF - Dirk
C - Damp
Bench - Just for the sake of it being easy, i would slightly overpay Bass to stay a mav.
Thought Number Two. If the Mav's can't resign Kidd, I go after Jarrod Jack or Andre Miller with my mid level, then go after Lamar Odom as had as I can. If that worked out, then the starting line up would be Jack, Howard, Odom, Dirk, Damp. that would at least be a step forward.
But we all know this wont happen. With Donnie running the ship, I'm pretty sure Memo Okur will end up on this team. Watch .
Me, Big and Bear decided to take in a movie the other day, and we decided to go and rekindle some old school hobbies and watch “Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen”.
In one word, here’s my review : GodFuckingAwful
I know I’m getting old now because normally this kind of movie is right up my alley. I played with Transformers as a kid. I enjoyed the first movie, probably more for the novelty of it. However, this movie was just about the worst sack of shit I’ve ever seen.
Shia LaBeouf. 13 year old humor. Sex jokes geared toward high schoolers. Downloads the intersect into his brain from the cube. (No, I didn’t just describe “Chuck”, the same thing happens here.)
Megan Fox. Finally, we have something positive. Let me expound on this a little more. I love Megan Fox. If I’m brokering a “free pass clause” from the lady, this is my choice. Seriously, I’d eat pudding out of Megan Fox’s ass if she asked me. If we’re at a point where Megan Fox was asking me to do that, I’ve accomplished everything I plan on accomplishing in life, so I’ve probably died…that or I’m fantasizing while seductively licking a Snack Pack out because I can’t find any spoons. Anyway…back to the review
Borrow the set of “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”
Robot with balls.
EXPLOSIONS!!!
Shia LaBeouf goes to Robot Heaven to talk to Optimus Prime’s ancestors. (I swear to God I am not making that up. Did the Futurama writers get a hold of this script?)
EXPLOSIONS!!!
Linkin Park song.
Fin.
I fear Idiocracy has set in because this was pretty much a chance for Michael Bay to blow as much shit up as he could and make 13 year olds laugh their asses off.
If you know me, then you know that I am one of the biggest Michael Jackson fans there can be. I spend most of my day jamming to Jackson 5 and Michael Jackson while working, and I’ve been known to entertain wedding receptions with my renditions of “Don’t Stop Till you Get Enough”.
So, when I heard the news last Thursday that MJ had passed away, I can honestly say that it didn’t register. Given that Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett had just died, I thought it was a creepy coincidence, but beyond that, I didn’t think twice about it.
Then the weekend hit, and I found myself watching 2 and 3 hour blocks of videos on VH-1. (By the way, fuck you MTV. I understand you don’t play videos anymore, but Michael Jackson made your god damned network what it is. Why not take a break from your Made marathon and other bull shit like that and pay some fucking tribute. Kurt Loder doesn’t have a job anymore, throw him a bone already.)
I’ll go ahead and say it. I miss Michael Jackson. Sure, he hasn’t done anything of relevance in the past 15 years, but he was planning on putting together the world tour, and I was planning on going. When I heard that there was going to be a giant reunion tour with MJ and the Jackson 5 at JerryWorld, I was pretty much ready to fork over any amount of cash to go. You can take your George Strait and U2, give me J5.
“But what about the fact that he diddled 12 year old anus?” (Hello, pervert pedophile Google searchers, you’re going to jail soon!) Um, pretty sure that didn’t effect his ability to make music. Look, I understand he had turned into this creepy, ghoulish character who liked little boys too much. I don’t care. I’m not saying that I wanted to be like the man, I just said that I was a big fan of his music.
You can mock me all you want to, but I miss MJ, and I’m really sad that he’s dead.
Yes, it’s true, I haven’t posted to this little corner of the www in a while. It isn’t because of lack of desire, it’s been more a lack of time and a lack of formulating words into sentences.
I’m really not sure where I’m supposed to start…so…
Let’s start with the thing that has infuriated me to the point of random outbursts and almost getting thrown out of a restaurant that I was at with Big and some other friends…the NBA Draft
We knew walking into this draft that after pick number one, things just kind of fell down off the board. Sure, there were possible studs like Rubio, Curry and long shots like Ellington and Evans, but all in all, it’s a lesser of a few evils.
(By the way, when Jrue Holliday was selected did anyone kind of want to hear a JRUUUUUE! followed by the Souljaboy Tellem steel drums? Just me? Okay, then.)
Anyway, let me share my reaction when I see that your Dallas Mavericks selected B.J. Mullen from Ohio State. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?! THAT’S THE WORST GOD DAMN THING I’VE EVER SEEN!!!” Proceeded by me slamming tables, chairs and trying to jab my fork into Big’s neck.
When my anger had somewhat subsided, we proceeded to go to a bar and hang out. It was there that I found out that they had traded within their division for the French Leandro Barbosa, Antoine RigadeauOlive St. Pierre/Tariq Abdul-Wahad Rodrique Beaubois.
Well, I don’t know what happened after that. I saw nothing but red, and next thing I know, I found myself sitting in my garage with a corded rope and a busted light fixture fallen from the ceiling.
I don’t want to hear the argument “but they turned a single pick into 3 assets and draft picks next year”. That’s bull shit. Donnie Nelson and the Dallas Mavericks did one thing in this year’s draft, and that was bend the fans over a table and fuck them in the ass with a French tickler.
You could hear the absolute disdain in Rick Carlisle’s voice during the press conference the day after. Even the media was in disbelief and couldn’t think of any questions besides “so, Roddy, do you know Tony Parker?”
I’ll ask the question no one had the balls to ask. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND, DONNIE NELSON?!?!!?!?
You’ve hit on ONE. JUST ONE European player. Landing Dirk does not give you the freedom to pick people from shitty leagues overseas and claim you can coach them up.
This team is sliding further back in the West, and sooner or later they’ll be the next to last team in their division. Sam Presti is building OKC into quite the powerhouse. The Spurs know what they’re doing. Houston is making smart trade. New Orleans can’t manage money, but they can manage their team. The Mavs might have finally done it. They’ve done nothing but spit in my face as a fan for years, and I’m considering breaking up for good.
Fuck you, Donnie Nelson. If you love Europe so god damned much, go coach in Greece and let’s get someone in here who doesn’t depend on Fran Fraschilla to tell them who to draft!
he's french. He's a guard who's quick but likes to shoot three's. He was taken 25 by OKC, then traded to us for the 24th pick BJ Mullens. He was slated to go mid to late 2nd round, possibly not even drafted. We took him at the end of one. Kill me with death.
Every time I drink, I feel it. Every time I work out, I feel it. Hell Every time I look at a teenager and think "holy crapy they are young," I feel it.
And now, another reason to be scared of getting old.
I know, first post in a long time. Basketball is over, I'm not that big a baseball guy, suck it.
However, the NBA draft is this Thursday. Every year, I get so damn excited as to who the Mav's will take, how they can help us win a title next year, so on and so forth. And ever year I get bent over sideways and fucked in the ass. Its what they do.
Even back in the day, the greatest day of drafting the mavericks ever had, I felt like the mav's fucked it all up. Let me explain.
"9. Dirk Nowitzki, Bucks, 1998: In a prearranged draft-night trade that turned into one of the most lopsided deals in history, the Mavericks sent No. 6 pick Robert Traylor to the Bucks for Nowitzki and No. 19 pick Pat Garrity, whom Dallas dealt to Phoenix for Steve Nash. Nowitzki's three-point shooting as a 7-footer transformed the NBA's view of the power forward position. He led the Mavericks to the 2006 NBA Finals and was named league MVP a year later." Sounds great right? And looking back on it, It really was great. Franchise changing if you will.
Did I think so at the time? Hell, no. my young high school self was watching the draft, and got really really excited when my team, took one of my favorite college players at number 6, Robert "Tractor" Traylor. Then they go and trade for this foren guy that i have never heard of.
Needless to say, I'm glad they did. But at the time, just another kick in the pants form the Mav's drafting team. I guess that's why I'm not an NBA GM. (though I really think I should be).
One of our few readers and good friend D-Nasty took a trip this last weekend to the new Cowboys stadium for a country concert of the great George Straight. It was the first time the stadium was open for an event, and he took an ass load of pics and was nice enough to share them with us and tell us his thoughts on the spaceship.
For the past three years, all we have heard about the new Cowboys Stadium is that it will end up being pretty much the most bad ass place in the world to watch any sort of sporting event. I had a chance last weekend to see if it lived up to its hype, and man oh man, it did. Firstly, the parking situation is not lacking. We had no issues getting into or finding our lot as the parking lots are marked with massive signs starting about a half mile from the stadium on the south side. Getting out was a whole other story- it took just under an hour to get out of the lot. I will admit that the acoustics were lacking but at the end of the day it’s a football stadium not a symphony hall.
We entered the stadium on the west side (end zone) and as soon as we got in the door we were met with a blast of cold air. That’s right, no more sweaty fat guy next to you for the opening games in September. Once the place filled up, the temperature raised but it was still very comfortable with 60,000 people inside. The end zone concourse areas are wide open to the field and you can see the entire stadium without having to walk through a tunnel under the seats. The main concourse level has a Texas Stadium feel to it at the end zones and then you walk into an enclosed area that pretty much runs the length of the field. Jerry definitely knows how to bring on the bling. I kept wandering how long it would take to look like shit after the season started. For a football stadium meant to have a bunch of rowdy fans, it sure felt like walking through the lobby of a high class hotel. The men’s crapper sure did feel like Texas Stadium. I think that’s where Jerry cut back on spending. The field itself is lined with suites so all the Chris Chris’ can say they were there and saw nothing but Flozell’s ass on the sideline because there is no possible way to see anything on the field during a game from that perspective. They are below the field level like a baseball dugout. I think the most kick ass seats in the whole place would be the high backed end zone seats.
The upper level was more like the upper level at the Ballpark. Getting off the escalator felt like I was going to my cheap seats to see a Rangers game. The whole concourse is littered with concession stands and not much else. It happened to be the best place to get food (I’ll touch on the momentarily). I took a peak at what the field looked like from the upper levels, and believe me you want to be in the 300’s or lower. Otherwise you are paying to be at a live event just to see it on a kick ass HD television.
The most awesomist motherf-in screen in the world. I honestly sat in my seat and just stared in awe for a couple of minutes. You can’t imagine it until you see it in person. It is that bad ass! We all know the specs and the hype behind it, but once you see it, it takes you to a whole new level of happy place in your pants. From the 300 level, it is just above you like sitting in a movie theater (I wouldn’t put it past Jerry to offer exclusive viewings- it would be worth every penny). Some of the pictures I took would make you think I was front row they were so crisp- taken directly from the screen. Putting it in perspective, when you look at it versus the other side of the stadium, it pretty much blocks over half of the other side. You see the lower bowl and that’s about it.
I really only have one complaint and I made sure to let everyone who worked there know that nachos should be served on every level. The level we were on only had trendy high end servings like Kobe Hamburgers and buffalo quesadillas and I had to make the trek to the 400 level for peanuts, nachos and even beer at one point. They did run out of food and beer for a portion of the show but I am sure that will be taken care of in the future. Overall, yes, it is the most bad ass place to watch a sporting event. It’s typical Jerry going over the top but what should we expect having the most storied and popular franchise.
If you aren't following us on the TWEET space. You are missing browns full on assault on your mind. some highlights of last night's tweet-a-thon.
You think Dwight Howard had those shoulders as a baby? Is his mother's vagina like a waterslide? I'm turned on. -Brown
Wow, we gained another follower in the time I've decided to post to Twitter like a 12 year old discovering his penis. Go us. -Brown
Why did the black guy felt empowered to pour sprinkles all over he ice cream counter? Verizon is sponsored by the Black Panthers - Brown
If Hedo Turkoglu is the Turkish Michael Jordan, then Zaza Pachulia is the Turkish Karl Malone. -Brown
If we ever get a basketball team together, my jersey will say "LeBrown" - Brown i'm really failing to see the appeal of the twitter. we've been on for a week and i feel more like denka than ricky from barbershop - Brown
I'd probably like Michael Cera's movies if it wasn't for the awkward kid in all of them. -Brown
If you're laughing at a premature confetti drop, you're a) a woman and b) a total bitch. - Brown
I was flipping through a magazine the other day and came across an interesting article regarding how states will be much more stringent on granting H1-B visas to immigrants to ensure that companies are hiring U.S. workers.
For example, you can’t pay them less then a U.S. worker and you have to lay out exactly what they’re doing and how they qualify more than any U.S. worker, so on and so forth.
However, the U.S. has a lesser known type of visa known as the O-1 visa. This thing is referred to as “the genius visa”, and all it takes is to prove that this singular person has a skill set that no one else in the world, let alone in the entire United States of America has.
This O-1 visa is completely removed from any political debate going on in the U.S. government between Republicans and Democrats.
I know what you’re thinking, “what the hell does this discourse on immigration and business have to do with sports?”
Well, one of the few people who happen to have one of these “genius visas”?
Big, what’s this say?
Yup, you guessed it, Dirk Nowitzki. Other athletes who have qualified for O-1 visas? Wayne Gretzky, Ronaldo, and Annika Sorenstam
In full disclosure, I do find entertainment in Andy Samberg. I think the guy has talent, and he is pretty damn funny. He managed to lure me in to watching the MTV Movie Awards this year.
My reaction? Remove metal detectors from schools and let’s go back Darwinian physics.
Look, I understand that MTV has always catered to the lowest common denominator. I remember Howard Stern doing the Fartman bit, but I’m pretty sure that my generation’s youth wasn’t this fucking retarded.
Allow me to rundown some winners for you:
Movie: “Twilight”
Actor: The Efron kid from “High School Musical 3”
Actress: The drunk girl from “Twilight”
”Breakthrough” Actress: The one girl who didn’t get naked in pictures from “High School Musical 3”
”Breakthrough” Actor: The smelly kid from “Twilight” who played Cedric Diggory in the “Harry Potter” flicks.
Best Song: Hannah Montana
Best Fight: Twilight
Best Kiss: Twilight
“Generation Award”: Ben Stiller
I feel like such an old man because, I don’t even know what the hell this “Twilight” thing is, short of the fact it’s got to do with vampires and shit. (By the way, my playing Castlevania as a kid made me a dork, but liking “Twilight” makes you cool????) But this movie was up against actual good movies.
I know what you’re thinking, “relax, man, these are kids, they’re not going to pick “The Wrestler” or “Slumdog Millionaire” over “Twilight”. There is no way in hell this show was geared towards kids. I was rendered pretty uncomfortable by the jokes that were told, and pretty shocked at the language the got away with.
And that’s what it boils down to. Viacom and MTV aren’t to blame, it’s the consumer. The target demo? You got it, the 15-22 crowd. This is the future of the world, and I’m supposed to be okay with the fact that this is what entertains them?
Mike Judge, I’m pretty sure, was telling a joke with the movie, “Idiocracy”, but with my first 2 hour dalliance with MTV in a long time, that movie may become more of a mirror than we’d like it to be.
Gonna quick hit movies now. (told you i had a back log)
First off, me, brown, and bear went to go see Angles and Demons a while ago. Brown and I are big fans of the book, and not so big a fan of the first movie. I thought about trying to do a whole TB&TB Movies review(or was hoping brown would do one), but its not really worth it for this movie.
Simply put, its alot different from the book, so if your into the book really good strong, you'll hate it.
If you thought the book was good, and can enjoy something that is mearly based on it, you'll enjoy it.
If you haven't ever read the book, Its good, but not great.
I'd suggest dollar theater or rental.
For fear of fucking up what might be a future post, all I'm going to say is you have to seek out and see In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale All I'm going to say about it, it stars Jason Stathom, Mathew Lillard, Leelee Sobieski, Ray Liotta, and Burt Reynolds as the king. God i wish Mystery Science Theater was still on.
Lastly I've got another trailer for you from a movie I think looks terribly good. (Remember, you saw the hangover clip here first) Its called "the Goods. Live Hard. Sell Hard." and no, its not about my penis. Enjoy.
Somewhere, drowning his sorrows in warm ale, Sir Arther Chillumsworth III esq is crying in the fetal position, swaying back and forth, asking the question "why?" over and over again.
All right, my goal today is to clear out the old "back log" of posts. They probably won't be long, but I've got a few that i wanted to post, but never finished. Up first, MMA The UFC had a pretty big fight last weekend, and we have a new Baddest Man on the Planet.
UFC 98 was headlined by the Light Heavy Weight title fight between "Suga" Rashad Evans and Lyoto "The Dragon" Machida., and trust me, the UFC LtHeavy Strap means your the Baddest man on the Planet.
Evans is undefeated coming into 98 and won the strap from fan favorite Forrest Griffin over the winter, with a stunning knock out of the gritty Griffin. Lyoto Machida, also undefeated, has been called the best fighter nobody likes, because of his "boring" fighting style. Machida is a reactionary fighter who will grind out a victory(think Lennox Lewis in boxing).
Well, the non exciting Machida dramatically knocked out Suga' in the second round, and is still undefeated, and still gets no respect. In fact, the person that is next in line for a title shot, Quinten Rampage Jackson, has decided to be a host of the Ultimate Fighter, and fight the other host, Rashad Evans, the loser of last Saturday title fight.
So who fights Machida? Well Forrest Griffen and Anderson Silva are fighting at UFC 100, and even though Silva is a middle weight stepping up in class to 205, he is considered to be one of the pound for pound best fighters in the game. The winner of that fight in few months will prob get a title fight with the Dragon sometime next year.
You know, because we post so god damn much as it is…Big up and signed us up for the Twitter.
Nevermind my ranting about it. He joined so we could follow the Shaq and Simmons trains of thoughts…rather be on the forefront of comedy than wait for Daulerio to find it and post about it like usual.
Anyway, we probably won’t post much, probably out of principle more than anything. However, if we get enough followers, you might get such masterful “tweets” from me like “i’m blogging while shitting. hooray for watermelon!” or “next time I see Bear, I’m going to hit him in the mouth”.
In case you missed it, last Friday during game two of the Cav's Magic Eastern Conference finials, Hedo Turkaglue (the turkish Michael Jordan) hit a shot with 1 second left, putting the Magic up 2. Problem was he left a second, and the Cav's have LeBron.
needless to say he hit the shot to win the game. Its what he does.
Here I bring you a Cleveland newscast that was finishing just as the Cav's game was. Wait for it.....Wait for it.....
There it is.
Silly white girl broke into the "cheerleader" hand movements.
I love EA as much as the next man…but doesn’t she kind of look like Lane Kiffin in this picture?
Big, how much for you to get this tattoo?
Big, what’s this say?
