My New Year's Resolution for 2009...two weeks early

Me, two weeks from today

Big and I tend to do a good job of keeping anonymous when we write on this thing. Mainly because we've read stories of how bloggers can get fired or in big trouble because their names are attached to shit that wouldn't be appropriate in any kind of setting not called the internet.

However, in really thinking about our readers, most of you people know who we are. People read this thing that I didn't even know read it until they come up to me and say something about it. In fact, thanks to other readers' stupidity, people I work with read this thing, and due to my own stupidity, my family members are reading this thing.

You know how awkward it is to write a post about white girls loving their butt hole tickled with the knowledge that your sister might have read that?

When I realized the number of people who read this thing and it dawned on me who they were, I realized that perhaps I needed to censor myself. By merely mentioning that, I had a beer thrown at me by Big followed by a loud "BOOO!" (He's not the world's best communicator...if you think he spells poorly, he's a master of the phrase "I want to go to there")

Then I look back on some of the posts I've written in comparison to the first post I ever did, and I've realized that I haven't held up my end of the bargain. See, sexy readers, I made a promise to do everything I could to offend you. I haven't done that. Though most of you know who I am, you should know that I give the internet the amount of serious nature it deserves...none.

So, there you go. I promise to be more offensive then ever in 2009.

Get it? She's offended.

I'd like to start early by asking a simple question:

Are tampons big enough for whores? I'm talking about the ones where you could pretty much get your shoulder up in there. Is it a lot like the scene in "The Shining" where the elevator opens up and blood gushes everywhere? Do they just wrap a Shamwow! cloth around a baseball bat?

Talk amongst yourselves.

Are you a last minute shopper?

Might as well have fun with it....

Big's End of the Year Awards - TV

We already did wrestling, so Its time to focus on TV.

Cable TV. How great are thee. With your channels more than three, and such great picture quality. Its easy to see, that without you I would be, a more contributing person to society.

A poem by Mamma-auk-a-boo-boo-day

I did watch more TV this year than I have in the past couple because of the fact I could afford Cable, and one with a DVR to boot. No longer do I have to choose to either play video games or watch TV! America is great! Here are my tops for the year.

Animated Show : Family Guy.



Haven't you heard about the Word? I'm sure its no surprise that a couple of juvenile joker like us love the greatness that is Family Guy. While I will always be a Simpson's fan at heart, I found myself laughing more at Family guy this year than Homer and the crew.

Runners Up: Simpsons, ATHF, Robot Chicken

Best Comedy:

How I Met Your Mother



I don't think any other show on TV has hit the late 20 early 30's market better than this one. They live just like us, only much more wealthy and funny! The show is made by Neal Patrick Harris's part of Barny Stinson, a suited up ladies man. We all have that friend in our group, who is still all about getting ass, while others are looking for relationships. Its funny cuz its true!

Runners Up: Psych, Daily Show, 30 Rock, the Soup

Best Drama:

Sons of Anarchy



I'm not into lost, Friday Night Lights is only showing on Direct TV till the new year, I missed last years Shield because i didn't have cable so i am waiting for the DVD's, so i guess what I'm saying is I really didn't watch a lot of drama's they year. At least not alot of good ones. But SOA is an exception. I'm pretty sure SOA never stayed on my DVR longer than a day or so. It was first available 45 that I had, I was watching that show. Bikers, Morality, Crazyness...sign me up!

Because of this show, brown and I are starting a Motorcycle gang, called the Burn Cycle (don't ask about the name, its a long story), despite the fact that nether of us have Bikes, or are very scary at all.

Runners Up: House, CSI, Life.

Best Reality Show

Go fuck your self!

I despise Reality shows. I wish they would all go away. That said, I will get suckered into watching American Idol a few times, and late night reruns of Real World bullshit on MTV. I know it sucks, but I can't help it.

On a side note, everybody needs to help me convince brown to submit a tape for the casting of "the greatest race." How funny would it be to have your favorite blogers rock that show! You know who would win if that happened? America that's who.

Best New Show I'm sure will get cancelled soon.

True Blood



This is one of those shows that I really like, but I can completely understand if nobody else does. Its about Vampires, which is one strike against it for most people, but the way the show is put together is entertaining, if not always logical. One really good reason is to watch is that its got lots of Nudity, including Anna Paquin (who played Rouge in XMen). Very good stuff.

That will do it for TV. If I forgot something, hit me up via comments. Music and Movies are next, stay tuned.

Big's End of the Year Awards - Wrestling

I was thinking about doing some end of the year awards post after watching the Video Game Awards the other night. You know, do it like a "real" award show, give nominees, pick a winner, do a fake thank you speech, but there was two things wrong with that idea.

1. It would take WAY to long, and I'm lazy
2. Nobody really cares, and would just skip past the post after the first 2 sentences.

None the less, I still want to do something like it, so I came up with 4 things that I enjoy doing not involving a slab of meat or a scantly clad showgirl, and I will give you my "awards" for those things.

Up first is Wrestling.

I know, not another wrestling post. But its one of few things that keep my attention outside of the sports world, and I love it. So here are a few awards for the Genre of Wrestling.

Top Face of 2008 (good guy)

Jeff Hardy

I always look at a guy that being a good face if its somebody I root for, constantly. Is funny and intense on the mike, and preforms well in the ring. I haven't really rooted more for anybody this year more than the Enigma, Jeff Hardy. From his first shot at the title against Randy Orton during the Rumble, to his suspension for drug use, from his comeback to being "drafted" by Smakdown, and then to last weekends title victory over HHH and Edge and his soon to be feud with his brother (hopefully). I have enjoyed rooted more for Matt Hardy than anybody else in the business right now.

Runners Up: CM Punk, HBK, HHH,

Best Heel of 2008

Chris Jericho



It was a tough call between him, Orton, and Edge, because these three guys are just about as perfect a heel as you could want. The sheep fans hate them because they are told too, but the smarts fans love to hate these guys. I picked Jericho because of his ability to carry a feud, and a story line without chasing after or defending a championship belt. He's work with Shawn Michaels was brutal, and captivating, leading to his heel turn, where he took over as top heel of the company. His work has been just nasty good.

Runners up: Randy Orton, Kurt Angle, Edge

Top New Comer (guy i think has a shot at being big)

CM Punk



Regulated to ECW for the start of the year, made a big splash when he won Money in the Bank and wrestlmania. Unlike what i feared would happen, he didn't cash in his title shot for the ECW championship, instead waiting till he got "drafted" to Raw, and took advantage of a beaten down Edge to win the World Heavyweight title.

I loved his run with the title. It was something new, and unexpected. Something the WWE rarely does.

Runners Up: Evan Borne, Santino,

Female Wrestler of 2008:

ODB



For the longest time I wasn't a big fan at all of female wrestling. Fun to look at, but the only redeeming part of the matches were watching to see if a nipple popped out. Then I started watching TNA wrestling a little more and my view changed. They didn't just have super models trying to wrestle, they had full out wrestlers who could really throw down, and had distinguishable traits

ODB is one of them, and in my opinion, the most fun the watch. She's a little mannish, but has some good moves, and fantasticlly large chesticals. I mean come on, a little bit of a big girl who drinks alot, cusses, and can beat my ass? How can I not love this chick.

Runners up: Gail Kim, Roxxie, Beth Phoenix.

So there is my end of year awards for wrestling. I'm going to try and get another one up today, either Music or TV. So check back this afternoon.

A Dallas Cowboy Christmas

So, last year, I borrowed an idea from a couple of other blogs and I had written up A Dallas Maverick Christmas

This year, I offer up, A Dallas Cowboy Christmas.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, double J, that's Jones, Jerry

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 2 Newman picks

and double J, that's Jones, Jerry

On the third day of Chistmas, my true love gave to me, 3 sacks from Ware

two Newman picks
and double J, that's Jones, Jerry

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 4 playoff wins

three Ware sacks
two Newman picks
and double J, that's Jones, Jerry

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 5 "get your popcorn ready"'s

four playoff wins
three Ware sacks
two Newman picks
and double J, that's Jones, Jerry

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a 6th Lombardi trophy

five "get your popcorn ready"'s
four playoff wins
three Ware sacks
two Newman picks
and double J, that's Jones, Jerry

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, the seven healthy linemen

a sixth Lombardi trophy
five "get your popcorn ready"'s
four playoff wins
three Ware sacks
two Newman picks
and double J, that's Jones, Jerry

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, Aikman in the booth

seven healthy linemen
a sixth Lombardi trophy
five "get your popcorn ready"'s
four playoff wins
three Ware sacks
two Newman picks
and double J, that's Jones, Jerry

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a Tony Romo jersey

Aikman in the booth
seven healthy linemen
a sixth Lombardi trophy
five "get your popcorn ready"'s
four playoff wins
three Ware sacks
two Newman picks
and double J, that's Jones, Jerry

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 10 Cowboy cheerleaders

a Tony Romo jersey
Aikman in the booth
seven healthy linemen
a sixth Lombardi trophy
five "get your popcorn ready"'s
four playoff wins
three Ware sacks
two Newman picks
and double J, that's Jones, Jerry

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, the Real Roy Williams

ten Cowboy cheerleaders
a Tony Romo jersey
Aikman in the booth
seven healthy linemen
a sixth Lombardi trophy
five "get your popcorn ready"'s
four playoff wins
three Ware sacks
two Newman picks
and double J, that's Jones, Jerry

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a successful December

the Real Roy Williams
ten Cowboy cheerleaders
a Tony Romo jersey
Aikman in the booth
seven healthy linemen
a sixth Lombardi trophy
five "get your popcorn ready"'s
four playoff wins
three Ware sacks
two Newman picks
and double J, that's Jones, Jerry

The End

Guest Post and Field Trip: Bizzle Goes to the New Texas Stadium

We don't hide the fact that we encourage our readers to submit cool stories and pictures to us so we can post them up here and the 2 other people that read this can laugh. Not many of you actually do this, but one guy who comes through in clutch is J-Bizzle.

This time, he might never be topped.

J-Bizzle got himself a tour of Jerry World, and he's shared some pictures with us.

UPDATE: Bizzle sent his own comments....see in bold

The Outside of the Stadium

This stadium is so big that you can see it from North Richland Hills...about 16 miles away


The East End of the Stadium

If you want an analogy for a size comparison:
Cowboys Stadium : me :: Big's right man-boob : the cheeto he found that he thought was a "lump" when he was giving himself a breast exam....


The View of the BallPark at Arlington

It also makes Ranger's Ballpark look ludicrously small.


A $100K Star that sits on top of the scoreboard. It's just something nice for blimps to get a shot of...

No really, that star is purely for the enjoyment of the Goodyear blimp guys. That Jerry; thinking of everybody.


A view from above the scoreboard

This is from in the neighborhood of 260 ft. above field level.


That support has to support 9 Million pounds of force, and the hand of Kyle Orton faced J-Bizzle

The buttresses are larger than 4 bulldozers apiece.


Jerry's Suite in Jerry World

This is the view that Jerry gets at every game. He also has his personal elevator to take him to field level whenever he feels like going down there. Interestingly, no helipad at this stadium.


Jerry's Throne in Jerry World

This isn't actually Jerry's Throne, although technically 75% of the toilets in that place kind of are. This is the bathroom inside one of the $150K/year suites on the suite level that you see in pic 13. They wouldn't let me take it for a test drive.


The center of the field

The scoreboard weighs 500 tons as is in this pic. It's essentially a 10 story building with two elevators. Once the crew adds the electronics, it will weigh 750 tons.


The catwalks above

That catwalk starts out at least on a 60° grade. It’s so steep that on the way down the catwalk that you use to get there doesn't look like it's level at all.


One of the buttresses also holding up the stadium...please don't fall.

I think the guy said this is the largest building in the world to be supported solely by arches. The keyword there is building. Each buttress goes into the ground 70 ft. and then goes out from the stadium 110 ft. For those keeping track: that's one 10-story building for a scoreboard and 4 7-story buildings keeping the stadium from collapsing.


Bizzle called this "Seats in the Sky"...what a shitty view

This is from the catwalk in pic 10 looking at the top tier seats. I stood on the back row of the stadium (which would probably be the only seats I could afford) and it's really not a bad view of the field at all. At least they're not behind a Titan-tron, right?


The suites...

Ranging from $100K-$1M per year. I asked if the $1M suites came with happy endings, but our guide wasn't sure.


The beginnings of the scoreboard

I'd kind of like to go to Texas Stadium now just to get the feel for how much bigger the new stadium is.


This is called "The Bus Loop", and it can, apparently, fit an entire bus

Yes, yes it can.


The club level...will be the home of 2700 televisions

I tried to enjoy all of these places that I will never get to go once the stadium is complete.


The roof still has a hole, only this one can be covered

Brown's caption covers this one.


The seats of the common man

And I sat in one for free. $5 to touch me.

Other highlights: a giant beer cooler which is about 2 stories tall; the locker room where each locker will have an outlet, DSL, HDTV and (why not) a Playstation; there is a Walmart literally across the street which was only allowed to be built because they broke ground the day the stadium was approved, yes they sell beer; I live about 2 miles straight North of the stadium so tailgating at my place!; interesting fact, you could lay the Statue of Liberty down inside the stadium and she’d fit end-to-end.

Total cost: $1.2 billion
Construction cost: $800 million
City of Arlington’s input: $300 million


Bizzle, awesome job of capturing these shots and thinking of your buddies at The Big and The Brown. Now if you can only work a press pass for us....

The Greatness that was the Video Game Awards

While Bear and I watched the Cowboys last night, we switched over to the Video Game Awards on Spike a few times(he's a big gamer too). The show was mostly filled with singers we have never heard of, and game previews for the up coming year. Some looked good, other not so much.

The host was Jack Black, and if you like him(i do), then he was great. The opening where he asked God (Darrel from the office) if there was a heaven for gamers, and God told him there was, but he must defeat the devil's three demons, Reading, Exercise, and Healthy relationships with girls, before he could enter. It was quite good. I have tried to find it on YouTube, but alas, I can't. If i do, I'll post it.

Until then, here is another of the good moments of the show. Promoting his new movie, Kevin James and street skateboarding legend Mike Valley. Funny stuff.

Ed Werder gets punked out by TO

Great game last night. Demarcus Ware is Beast. Tashard was the right "choice"(giggle). More on the boys later, but for now, here is the great sidline interview of TO, Romo and Witten after the game. Enjoy TO punking out Ed Werder and Romo makeing a joke about the whole week.

Okay, now here's a first

How in the hell?

For the first time ever...I apologize

I'm not one for apologies. My ego is too big and I'm too much of an ass hole to offer them up when I should. However, it's come to a point now where I think I might need to offer an apology to one Juan Jose Barea.

JJ Barea has been a whipping post for The Big and The Brown. He's been right up there with Dolph Ziggler and 7-11 commercials. I've never liked him because he was too small, too shitty and just killed any momentum the Mavs ever had on the floor. Big hates him because JJ's Puerto Rican and younger than both of us.

However, the little bastard has broken out to have an AMAZING streak since Thanksgiving against the Lakers.

In fact, I remember marveling about the fact that he came one assist away from notching a double double that game, thinking it was a flash in the pan game for him...

HOWEVA! (in my best Screamin' A. Smith voice)

Let's look at his last 5 games.

Opponent	Minutes	Points	Steals	Assists	Rebounds
Kings	25	5	1	5	2
Clippers	25	15	0	6	1
Suns	31	18	1	4	3
Hawks	32	22	0	4	2
Spurs	40	21	0	5	2

You know what his career averages are?

Games	Minutes	Points	Steals	Assists	Rebounds
94	10	4.2	.2	1.4	1

Now, I'm not saying that Barea is Chris Paul, or that he should be in the starting line up, but we used to think that Barea was a waste of bench space and shouldn't even be here. Remember our reaction when we heard they re-signed him? Yeah, pretty sarcastic.

If Barea keeps this up, then I'd say the Mavericks have a legitimate back up point guard to play behind a starter not named Jason Kidd. Barea's probably getting more minutes than he should, but if he can provide production while on the floor, then I say this is a good thing.

So, officially, I'm sorry J.J. Barea.

Scootch says sorry

Note: I have the right to retract this apology at a moment's notice and tie Barea back to the whipping post.

A post only three of us would give a damn about

Check out this blog entry on Hugging Harold Reynolds.

Apparently the boys got to go backstage before Monday Night RAW last night in Philly.

Who's got two thumbs and is jealous? Me.

The Ticket might have met its match

They're in big trouble...

I was driving home yesterday and reached the same level of confusion you all did when I realized that Live 105 was no longer around because it had become 105.3 The Fan.

Best picture I could find..

That's right, DFW has a brand spanking new sports radio station, and this one threatens to legitimately challenge The Ticket for supremacy.

Let's look at the lineup

Mornings
The Jagger Show versus Dunham and Miller

Nah, I'm still going to listen to Dunham and Miller.

Mid Days
Kevin Scott and Greg Hill versus Norm Hitzges and BaD Radio

Well then, have Bob and Dan got some legit competition? I've always been a big K-Scott fan, and I heard him and Greg Hill on the radio yesterday, and they've already got a semi-funny rapport. By the way, seeing as Greg Hill referred to himself as "the Michael Jordan of Texas A&M" and K-Scott referred to himself as "the Jesus of Texas Tech", well sign me up. Bob and Dan had better bring the fire.

Afternoon Drive
Ben & Skin versus the Hardline

That's right. The Fan has taken the station's anchor team and is putting them against the Hardline. Quite frankly, the Hardline is going to lose a lot of listeners, me included. Ben and Skin are one of, if not my favorite, radio teams right now, and pitting them against the consistently "meh" Rhyner, Davidson and Balis team is going to drive a lot of station switches.

Nights
Pete Stein and Mike Rodriguez versus The Top 10 and Dan Patrick

I don't really care because I'm not listening. If I am, I'm more likely to go with Gamenight with Choppy and Greggo.

Contracts
The Cowboys and SMU are with The Ticket. Westwood One and The Longhorns are with The Fan. I should also mention that The Fan is owned by CBS Radio and has more than 10 times the broadcast capability (100K Watts versus 9K Watts) than the Ticket. The Cowboys might opt out of the Ticket contract this year and hop to the Fan which would be a HUGE coup in listenership.

I've said it before, the Ticket has gotten too comfortable in DFW and they've gotten a bit full of themselves and they haven't made the effort to really change and keep the broadcast fresh for the fans. I think with Ticket favorites like Ben and Skin and K-Scott leaving with spotlight positions, you've got familiar voices and a new offering that can be listened for a longer amount of time.


On a side note, I hope this forces ESPN to just quit the local shit and go with the national programming. I'm starting a personal vendetta against Randy Galloway. I hate that son of a bitch.

Another interesting observation. If you read Richie Whitt's blog at the Observer, he gives the coverage an objective, almost positive view. If you read Robert Wilonsky's blog at the Observer, he deadpans it as though it is just another flash in the pan version of the Ticket. Wilonsky is buddies with the Hardline guys. Whitt became persona non grata for providing coverage of the Greggo story when no one at the Ticket wanted him to...good times.

One more bowl versus playoff note...and it's not from me.

Guess who's on notice?

I'm not going to say anything about the college system because apparently that's just me whining because I'm a Texas alum.

Because of that, I simply turn you over to The Mighty MJD at the Shutdown Corner. He's got an argument that we should get rid of this stupid Super Bowl concept...

I'll put an excerpt here, but go read the whole thing.

I want a system that relies on individual opinions and computer rankings that are extensions of varying human opinions on what numbers are the most valid for measuring the quality of a team. I want Bowls. I want them named after various foodstuffs. And if there's not a Poulan Weedeater involved, then to hell with everything.

Stands up. Wipes tear from eye and salutes.

There's no crying in basketball!!

Two things about this video...

1) Kevin Garnett, though not seen, wins the award for the most intimidating and scariest person in the entire NBA.

2) Not too long ago, the Mavs could have gotten KG. Could you imagine KG making Erick Dampier cry? I know I could.

And now, Big Baby, living up to his nickname...

Video source: Ballhype

College Football Round Up - Bowling for Spares

Giggle

Pic HT College Game Balls

So lets see, pretty much everything happened the way I thought it would. OU put a whoopin on Mizzu, Florida drove through Bamma, and USC is still screwed into playing the Lions.

The only thing I didn't see was VaTech taking down BC, but i don't really care about either of those teams, I'm glad they play Cincy in Orange, or as most people out side of those colleges will call the Aren't Bowl. (see the humor, aren't kinda sounds like Orange. See? Ahh go fuck yourself, I don't have to explain my humor to anybody)

Lets take a look at The big bowl games, shall we?

FedEx BCS National Championship Game
Florida vs. Oklahoma Miami
Dolphin Stadium Jan. 8, 2009, 8 p.m. FOX

Needless to say, while I don't think they are as deserving as Texas, i think the choice of Oklahoma and Florida will be the most entertaining title game since UT/USC a few years ago. I don't think either team will run away will this one, and it could be a track meet like Texas vs Michigan was back in 04.

Tostitos Fiesta
Ohio State vs. Texas Glendale, Ariz.
University of Phoenix Stadium Jan. 5, 2009, 8 p.m. FOX

Texas and Ohio State get to play a rubber match this year in the Bowl Games, as they have played each other twice over the past 3 seasons in the regular season, splitting both games. I know, the rules are in place so that the BCS has the right to choose OSU to play in this game, but it rubs me the wrong way that they have 2 losses, while Boise has none, and Texas Tech only has one. I hope the Horns smoke this team by 100.

On a side note, my wish of a Gerry vs. Brown mustache contest in the sugar was so close, but alas, not ment to be. But you know who is a big OSU fan? My roommate, the Mexican Hippie's girlfriend, and more importantly, Bear. Maybe we can work something out after all.....

Allstate Sugar
Utah vs. Alabama New Orleans
Superdome Jan. 2, 2009, 8 p.m. FOX

I am going to give credit to Bamma. I really thought they were going to get rolled by Florida, but there were leading this game going into the fourth quarter. But John Wilson is no Tim Tebow, and Tim Tebow did just what he needed to do to win this game. While things might have been different if Percy Harvin was playing, I think I either over rated Florida, or under rated Bamma, and its more than likely it was the later.

The Tide gets the "gift" of playing Utah in the Sugar Bowl this year as a result. I say "gift" because while it is nice to be playing in a BCS game, no body wants to play the BCS buster, because its a lose-lose situation. You win the game, and that just what you were supposed to do, you lose it and you just lost to a non BSC school in a bowl game.

FedEx Orange
Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech Miami
Dolphin Stadium Jan. 1, 2009, 8:30 p.m. FOX

I have already said how little interest I have in this game. Cincy is a good story, seeing is how the Might Mean Green of North Texas beat this team in the New Orleans bowl just 6 short years ago, but Brain Kelly is a good coach. Va Tech does nothing for me though. When you lose 4 games, all on the road, and one of which was the opener to ECU, you don't deserve a BCS game.

In Fact, even Mark Schlabach, one of ESPN's college football guru, ranks the Orange Bowl the 12 most intriguing bowl game, in his Best to Worst of the Bowl Games this year. Behind 7 non BCS bowl games, including 2 who don't even have a BCS team in the game.

Rose Bowl Game Presented by Citi
Penn State vs. USC Pasadena, Calif.
Rose Bowl Jan. 1, 2009, 4:30 p.m. ABC

I keep trying to talk myself into this game, as both teams are one loss squads, who's only loss has kept they out of BCS Championship game bid, but I just don't see how JoePa can do anything in this game. USC rolls by 20. At least.

Just this morning I started looking at the other bowls, and I'll do another whole post on them later, so lets just rap up this BCS bowl game talk.

I think the BCS did a terrible job at putting good games together. They got the Cincy Va Tech game right, but picking Ohio State over Boise and Texas Tech is boulderdash. (I know Tech couldn't get in due to the whole can't have 3 teams from the same conference bit, but that is a terrible rule). And if your going to put in Ohio State, let them play Utah, and let two one loss teams, Bamma and Texas, go at it for at least a shot at a split National Championship.

But noooooo. That wouldn't be good for the BCS. Heaven forbid Tech Rolls Ole Miss by 40 and Ohio State drops to Utah, making the BCS look stupid. Or having Texas roll the Tide making a case they were the team that should have been in the BCS title game. Shame on you BCS. You and your white tiger with the stuffing of the pants.

Cowboy fans, we've married the crazy chick

I'm watching the Cowboys-Steelers game yesterday, and it dawned on me. Tony Romo is the psycho girl so many of us have been with. Take my word on this, I'm a bit of a connoisseur on the subject.

I'm assuming that, like me, most guys tend to classify the women they see into a few distinct categories. I've found that it's quite easy to apply the same kind of logic to NFL quarterbacks.

For example:

-Some guys like cougars (Jets, Cardinals, Titans)
-Some guys like them young (Ravens, Falcons, Chiefs)
-Some guys like fat chicks (Lions, Raiders, Vikings)

Anyway, back to Romo. When I say Tony Romo is the psycho girl, I mean that for all his redeeming qualities, he's got the knack to just fuck your shit up sideways and you keep convincing yourself that he's the one you want to stay with because all those good things he does make you feel like over the long haul, he'll cool off.

Sound familiar? You know, that girl?

She's fun to be around when it's just the two of you. She's great in the sack, but like a finger in your ass while getting a BJ, you really don't know where she's learned things and you're not sure if you like when she does it, but you don't say anything because you don't want to jeopardize the sex. However, when you aren't with her, you are always getting text messages or phone calls, and you can't ignore them otherwise she'll accuse you of lying and cheating on her, and she might show up to where you are and cause a scene and then after that cry that she's only doing it because she cares?

No? Am I really the only one here?

Look, all I'm saying is this. As Cowboys fans, we've married the psycho girl in Tony Romo. We've convinced ourselves that he's so good that over the long run, all the bad things he does will get outweighed by the good things and we'll be happy together as quarterback and fan.

So, before you start blaming and hooting and hollering about things, he's the guy we've chosen to be the franchise player. Like having the psycho girl as your girlfriend, just enjoy the good things and learn to manage the bad things. Take it from me, the crazy girl doesn't get any less crazy, you just learn to deal with it.

Now THIS should get you kicked off the team for a game or two

No lie, Title of this pick, Puck Off
giggle

Brown didn't think Sean Avery's little "sloppy seconds thing" was that bad, more just kinda funny. (i agree by the way)

Well how about this.

""....Griffith insisted to me that while she taunted Avery, she never used foul language. So what was Avery's response? According to Griffith, Avery said, "You're nothing but an old f**king c*nt, I wouldn't even c*m in your face." After which he sprayed her with his water bottle. It was after that the refs assessed Avery a second game misconduct, and Griffith is pretty much convinced Avery's reaction to the confrontation with her was the reason."

Griffith is a 60 year old woman.

Greatness.

This might be too much of a throw back, but can we call this getting "Dice Clayed"? When someone say something funny, but its crazy offensive? Ahh go fuck yourself, you fucking douchebag.

Little miss Muffet....

HT NFL Fanhouse via Deadspin

Why Bart Scott is the coolest dude in the NFL - A Guest Post

TB&TB openly encourages reader to spit their own hot fire when it comes to HSO's. If its decent, we post it. This is from the political correspondent and friend of the blog, Nayfa, Who has brought us such rants as Danica Patrick is a skank, and why Dubya should be the next commish of baseball.

His newest obsession? Ravens Linebacker Bart Scott

Who, Me?

Why Bart Scott is the coolest dude in the NFL .

I really don’t know who Bart Scott is. I remember something from earlier in the season with Hines Ward, the Ravens and bounties. I don’t recall Bart Scott but apparently he was involved.

It isn’t that I don’t pay attention to football; I love it and obsess about fantasy football. I just don’t give a shit about anyone but the Cowboys. Bart Scott is now the exception because of the following remarks that I read in an article on Yahoo.

“I hate everybody on every other team than mine. I don’t give a [expletive] about anybody on any other team – period. I don’t speak to them during the game. I’m not high-fiving guys. And I’m talking about guys who have been here and left, too. It doesn’t matter. You’re trying to take something away from me that I deem important. Why should I care about you? Why should I like you? You don’t have to like me, and I don’t have to like you.

“Ask me who I’m rooting for in the Super Bowl. If I’m not in it, I hope they cancel the damn thing.”

This about says it all. Thanks for the honesty and thanks for being a real football player. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one appalled at the gay ass prayers and shit after the game. This is football Goddamn it and its high time football players hate each other like God intended.

Is Big writing for another site?

Found this via The Big Lead and laughed my ass off.

An excerpt...

“Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work–including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule–our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking.”

So, let's review:

BCS Computers? Check.

Pro-Nazi Germany? Check.

Big, did you write this up?

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

Wheeze. Breathe. Wheeze. So you're the real Emperor? Wheeze. Breathe. Wheeze. Big fan of your work Wheeze. Breathe. Wheeze.

Picture Credit: Awful Announcing

Look at all the Free Agents!

To save money, we're going with iron-on patches!

Yes, that's right, it's free agent time for baseball.

Lots of big names still out there, lots of moves still happening.

So, what's that mean for the Rangers?

Not a god damned thing. Here's why.

The Rangers have made the statement that they want to stay in the $70 Million salary range this year because they feel that's what they can compete with.

Given salary guarantees and escalations, that means the Rangers have about, oh, 5 players that are going to command about $50-$55 Million of that salary

Kevin Millwood ($11M)
Vicente Padilla ($12M)
Michael Young ($16M)
Hank Blalock ($6M)
Frank Catalanotto ($6M)

Yes, the Rangers have the bevy of catchers they can trade (specifically Laird who's due to get, I think, like $2 or $3 Million this year). And, it's true, the Rangers have one of the best farm systems in the Majors according to Baseball America.

That being said, do we trust that JD and Nolan are going to make the right moves and bring up the right guys and not trade away the future to keep the salary where Tom Hicks wants it?

Welcome to Rangerville!