"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

Keep talking, McCarver, Joe Buck is showing the world "Blue Steel"

I had no idea we were so popular among English majors

Given the frequency of these comments from readers, those we know and those we don't, I'm shocked at the amount of English majors and/or English teachers read this blog.

We all know that Big is semi-retarded when it comes to spelling. We all know that grammar and punctuation haven't been strong points in either of our writing since maybe the 9th grade.

That being said, don't waste my fucking time by pointing out words that have been misspelled or incorrect usage of punctuation in posts. You try dragging Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes!

I love you.

We bow to our Rocket overlords

Well, shit, that sure sucked.

You know what? I'm tired of this crap. Look, I've been a Mavericks fan since the days of the 14 win seasons, so I'm not complaining too much. However, I'm really getting tired of finding myself saying the same god damned thing over and over again about this team:

-Need more interior presence.
-Stop the perimeter shooting game.
-Get nasty.

Even then, I'm okay with things because those are the kinds of players we have. When Jerry Stackhouse is your best "drive to the hoop" guy, you gotta expect this shit.

What is really a thorn in my side these days is Avery Johnson, the Overcoacher. I'm an Avery fan. I think he is the kind of coach this team needs, in that he's a task master and he's, supposedly, a czar who forces his team to do what he asks. At least that is what I thought he was supposed to do.

How in the fuck does the COACH OF THE TEAM complain that his team spends too much time on the perimeter and doesn't have any interior presences. I don't want the coach to say "geez, I'm pretty sure I could have driven the lane tonight." YOU'RE THE FUCKING COACH! YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR MIDGET-LIKE, NEW ORLEANS CAJUN ACCENT AND TELL THESE PEOPLE HOW TO PLAY BASKETBALL!

That being said, Grunge Dave over at Dream Shake said it best, the Mavericks are playing against the Suns to see who can choke themselves out of the playoffs. Note how both of these teams made "big moves" to match the Lakers and Spurs this year. I've still got faith the Mavericks can sneak in, but god damn it, play some fucking basketball people.

Time to Eat some crow

As you can tell by the pic above, The Dallas Mavericks lost to the Houston Rockets last night 113-98 at home.

We had a little side bet with the boys over at The Dream Shake, a Rockets blog; Whose ever team wins get to pick the Image and get a few lines in the others morning blog, so they choice the Tony Braxton Kidd above, and this.

"Jason Terry and the Mavs were no competition for the streaking Houston Rockets. The Overcoacher had no answers for Tracy McGrady or "Luis Landry" and even let Rafer Alston be the hero of the game. You know you suck when Rafer gets his season high against you in a 15 point victory. Meanwhile, Dirk Nowitzki was likely enjoying his one-game reprieve by taking Ms. Toni Braxton out for a nice seafood dinner... and then never calling her again. Just to stick it to Jason Kidd. Show him who's still the boss. The Mavericks are now fighting with the Phoenix Suns to see who can choke their way out of the playoff race faster."

That from Grunge Dave at the Shake. I got one other email last night from him simply saying "pwn3d, bitches." (they requested the text to be "Rockets Red," So if its a red rocket you want, let me holla at my buddy's dog Vegas. He's always sporting one. )

yup.

It pains me to see that Kidd had a line of 7 6 and 6 in such a big game because I'm still on board with the Kidd trade. The thing that I'm not on board with right now is the play of our other "stars." I knew that having Dirk out would be a hard pill to swallow, but I thought "Hey, we have 2 former all stars, Josh Howard, and Jerry Stackhouse, and a score from any where threat, Jason Terry, we will be alright."

Boy was I wrong. Terry had 17, all in the first half, Stack had a measly 11 off the bench and while Howard had 21, his main job was to stay in front of T-Mac last night, and well not so much buddy. His 31 points said we didn't have ANYBODY that can d up on that guy.

The "Luis Landy," as the Shake people call the combo of Luis Scola and Carl Landy, was painstakingly great last night with 29 points and 11 rebs between them.

And then good ol' Skip to my Lou Alston had a season high 24.

It pretty much just sucked all around last night. At least the bet made it fun/agonizing to watch. I hope we can do the same kinda bets with these boys over the rest of the season.

A Must Win Game...in March?

A Mavericks - Rockets Breakdown

Center
Mavericks: Erick Dampier
Rockets: Dikembe Mutombo

Brown's take: If the Damp that has played in games prior to Utah shows up, then this is going to be a fun matchup to watch. Mutombo has been playing out of his big African mind, and I expect that if Damp nuts up tonight, you'll see some banging in the post. Mutombo has been playing very well in Yao's absence and over the streak. If Yao was healthy, no friggin' contest.

Edge: Mavericks

Power Forward
Mavericks: Brandon Bass (I guess)
Rockets: Luis Scola

Brown's take: I happen to like Brandon Bass, and I think he does well in a reserve roll either at the 4 or the 5. Do I think he's going to make noise as a starter? Not so much. And who's going to play behind him when the Rockets bring in the surprising, Carl Landry. Scola's averages about 15 and 7 in the past few games, which is serviceable as a role player. If Dirk were playing, no friggin' contest.

Edge: Rockets

Small Forward
Mavericks: Josh Howard
Rockets: Shane Battier

Brown's take: Doesn't this really depend on which Josh Howard shows up tonight? If it's the poor shooting, lump of crap, that we've seen the past few games, then Battier has this wrapped up. If J-Ho pulls his head out of his ass, then maybe he'll remind everyone why he's part of the trio that is this team. Battier is exactly what the Rockets need him to be, steady and consistent force. Battier is a glue guy, and you can't really underestimate that.

Edge: Mavericks (I'm betting on J-Ho to find himself...God I hope so.)

Small Guard
Mavericks: Jason Terry
Rockets: Tracy McGrady

Brown's take: I'm a homer, but I'm not that much of a homer.

Edge: Rockets

Point Guard
Mavericks: Jason Kidd
Rockets: Rafer Alston

Brown's take: The aging veteran against the And-1 tour. I happen to like Rafer Alston, but I don't think he's quite on par with what Jason Kidd brings to the table at the 1.

Edge: Mavericks

Bench
Mavericks: Jerry Stackhouse, Eddie Jones, Devean George, Malik Allen (TB&TB Favorite), Jamaal Magloire
Rockets: Carl Landry, Bobby Jackson, Luther Head, Gerald Green, Steve Novak

Brown's take: I think the Rockets have a stronger bench presence. They've adjusted to Yao being gone, and they've made the necessary changes to the rotation. The Mavericks are without their guy, and now they are depending on an steaky bench to bring this home.

Edge: Rockets

Coach
Mavericks: Avery Johnson
Rockets: Rick Adelman

Brown's take: Boy, ask me a year ago, and I'd have said that Avery is your guy left, right, up and down. Now a days, the "overcoacher" seems to make the wrong decision every which way he turns. Adelman on the other hand has his guys playing as a team and getting hot at the right time in the West right now. He's adjusted for the loss of his anchor, and has his engine humming.
Edge: Rockets

Miscellaneous

Brown's take: The Mavericks have matched up very well against the Rockets, and they are playing at home. Dallas has proved that at the AAC, they are much more of a force to be reckoned with. The fans are going to be bumping because they know that Dallas needs support with Dirk out. I'd love to say that Houston is "due" for a loss, but I'm not one to believe in those kinds of things. I just think that given the circumstances, the Mavericks know how much of a "must win" this really is, and that gives them an edge that really can't be discounted.

Brown's Final Take: Mavericks in OT.

CHAA-LOUNG

As we all know, tonight the Mav's and the Rocketes play at the AAC. Dallas has no Dirk, Rockets no YAO. So a challenge has been laid down.



Our Buddys over the Dream Shake, a H-Town Blog, have put a little something something on the game. Which ever team wins tonight, The Blog from the team who wins gets the pick the Image, and a little part of the recap for the other site.

Its time to put up or shut up Mav's, don't make us look like Douches.

Just Like Joey, Whoa

Now THATS an ass!!



Kinda Gross, Kinda Hot. I love me some Kim K.

HT=Big Lead

Teenagers are the bane of society

Read this story from Phoenix...

Teen Killed Dad for Banning MySpace

Shocking, huh?

I'm really not sure what bothers me most about this story.

-Is it the obvious notion of a child killing their parent because of restricted access to MySpace?

-Is it the fact that said child was, indeed, considering suicidal thoughts and this was some kind of subconscious acting out of those against others?

-Is it the fact that the parent left a shotgun and ammunition sitting on a counter in the garage?

-Is it the hard to believe fact that this kid has female friends and she, of all people, was able to "talk him out of it"?

-Or the line: "Me and my dad would go squirrel hunting. Apparently he trusts me with a rifle"

I just don't get it. When I was 15, I got upset over things like not being able to acurately determine if it was a boob or an elbow on squiggly porn. How in the hell does one get so upset over something as trivially retarded as MySpace to kill their parents?

Really, it's times like these I wish some parents took the Chris Benoit approach to parenting.

Kyle Korver and Brown have the same defensive style

Hattip: Lion In Oil

ESPN has a story worth reading

Every now and then, ESPN will have a really great article. Today's was on Page 2. It details how the Wharton Business School at UPenn has a deal with the NFL to hold a conference, essentially, that details the smartest ways for NFL players to invest and maintain their millions of dollars.

I've often thought of what kind of a mind fuck it must be to recieve 10's of million of dollars in one check when I was 21 or 22. I'd have probably blown it on strippers and sour punch straws.

Think about guys like Mike Vick who sunk his money into the best rape stands money could buy. Or Pacman who spent his money making it rain on strippers. Or Tony Mandarich who, well, no one knows what the hell he's doing. I'm sure there are more stories of former NFL players who are back to working the loading docks at Home Depot because they blew through their cash.

For all the flack the NFL and NFLPA cathes (and rightfully so) for not taking care of the older players, this is a genuinely good thing that they offer.

Why are people surprised?

The Oakland Raiders have pretty much made every stupid move in the book when it comes to stocking their franchise with overpaid and overrated free agents.

My question is, why is anyone surprised?

This is who runs the organization:

The King is Dead. Long Live the King.

Two quick points

1) The Favre era is over.
He's retiring. I hope someone has John Madden and Peter King on suicide watch. Aaron Rodgers? Craig Nall? Paul Thompson? Draft Pick A? Who's the guy that's going to be put in the next Brian Griese/Jake Plummer/Jay Cutler type fiasco of trying to replace a legend and fan icon?


2) You won't like Dirk when he's angry
Sure, the Mavericks lost last night, and badly to the Utah Jazz. Did anyone else kind of feel taken aback that Dirk went all Kermit Washington on Andrei Kirilenko? Better yet, does anyone think he screamed "HITLER WAS BETTER THAN STALIN!" when he did it? I hope he did. I'm probably one of the few who thinks Dirk should stare down David Stern and Mark Cuban as much as possible. I bet Big was proud of him.

Can anything not be graphed?

If you didn't know this, both Big and myself have a very odd obsession with a certain British, white singer who everyone thought was a black man. It's often this song will come on a jukebox at a bar and you'll see two sports bloggers scream it at the top of their lungs...

Whoever did this, god bless you.

I'll never write this again.

Ok, this may be the only time I ever write these words, so at least it'll be stored for posterity. Big was right. After 7 games and getting the chance to not only watch him in television and in person, the Jason Kidd deal had to get done, and it's going to be a positive.

Will the Mavericks win a title? Probably not, at least not in this year's Western conference. Are they a better team then they were 3 weeks ago? Yes.

I'll be totally honest, I haven't paid much attention to Kidd since the Nets were the finals a while back. Sure, I always knew he was a great basketball player and that he was one of the last remaining pure point guards, but getting to actually watch the guy play reminds you just how good he is and how much he really can change a team.

You've got guys like Dampier who are directly benefiting from having a guy find them right under the rim where they can't miss a shot. You've got guys like Dirk, Howard, Stackhouse and Terry that are benefiting by no longer having to create their own shots. Shit, I'll even say that J.J. Barea, the great Mexican hope, is benefiting by learning to play the game under Kidd.

Again, as much a Mavs fan as I am, I don't think they've got what it takes to win the West THIS YEAR. However, I think a trio of Dirk, Kidd and Howard is much more potent and much more successful then a trio of Dirk, Howard and Harris.

Bracket Big

Tonight we have another slate of College Basketball games that are worth checking out. We are inching closer and closer to the greatness that is the NCAA tourney, and these four teams are going to be pretty big players, including, insert a big smile from my Catholic ass, Notre Dame.

Game one

6:00 PM No. 17 Notre Dame at No. 18 Louisville ESPN

@
Notre Dame is 21-5, 11-3 in the Big East, and kind of a surprise this season. They were thought to be bubble team at the start of the year, but have played their way into a top 4 seed over the past months. Wins over Pitt, MARQ, and KSU give them some validity, but they still need to prove they can hang with the big boys. A win over Louisville tonight could help. The Irish are led by Sophomore Luke Harangody, a 6-8 forward who nets 20 pts and 10 rebs a game.

Louisville is 2nd in the Big East at 12-3, 22-6 overall, half a game back from Georgtown, who they play next Saturday. They come into tonight's game winning 7 straight. They have 4 players averaging over 10 points a game;Terrence Williams David Padgett Jerry Smith and Earl Clark. The Cardinals are coming off a nice win over Pitt where they shot the ball at a 58% rate, and chipped in 6-14 threes and 32 bench points.

Match up to watch.

Terrence Williams f Louisville vs Rob Kurz F ND.

Kurz has been in double figures in each of the last 3 games from the Irish, but its his D that will have to be good to keep Williams off his 12 point, 8 rebounds, and 4 assists a game average.

Game 2

8:00 PM No. 15 Michigan State at No. 9 Wisconsin ESPN2

@
There are 4 teams that matter in the Big Ten, and these are 2 of them. Michigan State is 2 and half games back from the 3 way tie atop the Big Ten standings at 10-4, 22-5 overall. Ahead of them are Indiana, Purdue, and the team they play tonight, Wisconsin. Where these four teams will be seeded in the dance will mostly depend on the conference tourney, but a MSU really needs a win tonight to get some momentum back after going 3-3 in there last 6. Raymar Morgan is their leading points guy, but this team goes how its senior guard Drew Neitzel goes. In the 4 Big Ten losses, only the Indiana blowout did he score over 10 points.

With a win tonight, Wisconsin is 2 winnable games(Penn St, @Northwestern) away from at least a share of the regular season Big Ten championship. Their 12-2 record is tied for tops of the Bin Ten, with Indiana and Purdue. This teams only losses so far this year are to Duke, Marquette, and twice to Purdue, and they have beaten the likes of Texas, and Indiana, twice. Sometimes they look good, sometimes they look like their record is misleading. The three headed monster of Brian Butch, Trevon Hughes, and Marcus Landry lead the team in points with over 10 a piece.

Matchup to watch. Drew Neitzel MSU vs. Trevon Hughes Wisc.

Hughes is a small guard just like Neitzel, and it will be his responsibility to stay in front and disrupt the streaky Neitzel.

Dallas Cowboy Rumors

Asante Samuel for $10 a year.
Here's a solid, pro bowl corner who doesn't want to be in New England anymore and has a vendetta against the Giants now. Why does he have a vendetta? TWo reasons: he dropped the pick that could have ended the Super Bowl and Phil Simms continues to call him "Asante Samuels". Sure it's steep on the price, but if Nate Clements is going to sign for the same money, you gotta pay to get this guy.

Do the Cowboys need him? Yes, I think they do. If Anthony Henry has said he's willing to play safety, that would reduce the Roy Williams fiasco. That gives you Newman and Samuel on the corners with Reeves, Jones or a player to be drafted in the nickel.

Brown's take: Sure, I'd do it.

DeAngelo Hall for a first round pick.
Big thinks he's the best corner in the game right now. I think Champ Bailey might have a solid argument there. Plus, Hall is bat shit crazy. However, who's sane in Atlanta? Brian Finneran? I knew you'd think it was a white guy. Honky lover. I like Hall, and if they couldn't do the Samuel deal, I'd sacrifice a pick, but not both for him.

Do the Cowboys need him? Yes, see the reason for Samuel above.

Brown's take: I'd prefer Samuel, but I don't have a problem with Hall.

Randy Moss for a shit ton of money.
Best receiver in the game? Maybe, when he wants to. Willing to do whatever it takes to win? Maybe, when he wants to. Able to mix well with the personalities that already exist in the Cowboy locker room, mostly a certain wide receiver that we'll call T. Owens. Wait, that's too obvious, let's say Terrell O.

Do the Cowboys need him? They need a deep threat receiver for sure. Having one of the best ever would be nice, but Owens is enough ego for Romo to cater to already. Big makes a good point. Having to put up with Owens, Moss, Jessica Simpson's family and Bobby Carpenter might be one too many.

Brown's take: I wouldn't do this unless the Cowboys are looking to dump Owens, and why do that?

Rights to draft Darren McFadden for Marion Barber and both first rounders.
I don't know how the Jesus this still has traction. Look, I know McFadden is a sexy and chic pick. (It must be his uber-potent sperm.) But there is no way you package both first rounders AND a proven commodity like Barber for an unknown because you THINK he might be Adrian Peterson. Take it from any Rangers fan, you never trade a known commodity for unproven prospects unless you want to show your fans you are in a rebuilding year.

Do the Cowboys need him? No. They do need a complimentary back for Barber, but with this year's draft so stockpiled with running backs, it makes more sense to go with a Felix Jones, Jonahtan Stewart or even Ray Rice instead and make Barber the feature back.

Brown's take: Not no, but hell no.

Letting Flozell Adams walk.
Norm made a salient point as to why this could work. They didn't franchise him because they have some depth behind him, hence the reason for franchising Hamlin. They can, legitimately, let Adams go if someone makes a Larry Allen-esque offer to him. Adams is a productive tackle, and he's been here forever, so he should be re-signed. However, McQuistan and the other guy can fill in, or one of those first rounders could be used in his spot and that can be "covered" by the rest of the line.

Do the Cowboys need him? I say yes. You're only as good as your line, and he may be old, but Adams is one of the best.

Brown's take: Don't let him walk.

Mavs are not done dealing

Oh really? Here's what I'm hearing:

Sam Cassell

Why? Are we trying to dredge up painful memories of Mavs point guard past? Look, Cassell is a good point guard, but didn't we just do this to get Kidd? Is Cassell really going to be okay being a back up point guard? He's not. Cassell will be in Boston to join that troika of gents.

Jamaal Magloire

Let's see. Played with Kidd in Jersey. A Center that would add depth behind Damp and Bass now that Diop is gone. Pulling down about 4 boards a game. Eh, I guess I'm okay with getting 6 more fouls to give around playoff time. What else do they want from us?

Brent Barry

Don't think that Mark Cuban is going to sit still when Barry goes back to the Spurs. Remember how the league was going to step in and say "Hey, Jerry Stackhouse, you can't do that?" Well, now the Spurs are going to pull the same shit about it with Barry. If Cuban doesn't purposely overpay Barry as a confusing "fuck you", then he's certainly going to piss and moan when Barry goes back to San Antonio.

Yup, that's about right

HT: The FanHouse

A poem about the Texas Rangers

Another year in Arlington, another new idea
A youth movement with Saltalamacchia
But are he, Blalock, Kinsler and Young
Enough to overcome
A pitching staff bought at Ikea

Update: Millwood is not pitching. McCarthy is not pitching. Both are hurt. Could it happen that BEFORE MAY Rangers fans might just give up on the season?

Me Chinese, me play joke

Me not play anymore. ESPN says Yao is done for the year.


Hit up mav fav Rockets blog for some insite as how the boys down south are feeling and what they will do next. The Dream Shake

insert your own "made in china" joke here.

god damn mongolians

Introducing, Bracket Big!

We here at the big and the brown have many faces, many "talents," and many loves. Bloging has become a hobby to the both of us. We don't do it for money, or fame, but just to entertain, and talk sports and the like.

College basketball is like picking up a girl at a party. Its fun, its exciting, you never know what your going to get, yet you know it probably won't last very long. I have watched about 3 college basketball games so far this season. That's it, just 3. I'm no expert, I read the websits, follows who's hot, watch the highlights, but that's about it.



I do, like most sports fan's, love march madness however. I will glue myself in front of the TV for 4 straight days the first 2 rounds of the tourney. I will make claims like "i think that 12 seed has a chance," and "the nba is drooling over this guy right now."

As an attempt to get everybody ready for the big dance, I will periodical let you know about some good games, good teams, and players to watch on a given night, so you can too can look smarter than you are when talking brackets with your buddies at work. Enjoy.

Tonight, we have 3 teams, maybe 4 that will be big players come march. So watch ESPN tonight, or at least read the box score in the morning.

Game 1. 6:00. Ohio State at No. 12 Indiana ESPN.
vs
We have all heard about that dumb ass Kelvin Sampson, but if the N C double Ass Holes let the Hoosiers play in the dance, then they are a great 3-5 seed that could take it too the house. They are led by Freshmen guard Eric Gordon, who draft "experts" have going in the top 10 next year if he comes out. 21.5 points per game from the off guard in college is crazy. He's a bit small at 6-4, and tends to get swallowed up by bigger guys, but if he gets hot this team can roll anybody.

When Gordon isn't there, Senor forward D.J. White is. 17 points and over 10 rebounds a game from the 6-9 forward give Indiana a great inside outside game, that is vital for a long march run.

Ohio State on the other hand, is 17-10, 8-6 in the Big Ten and squarly on the bubble. Losing 4 out of there last 6 may have them on the outside looking in. Counting tonight they have 4 games left need to win at least 3 to have a chance before the conference tourney.

What to watch: Kosta Koufos F/C OSU vs. D.J. White F Ind. If the freshmen Koufos can keep White off the boards, OSU has a chance.

Game 2. 8:00 PM ESPN No. 1 Tennessee at No. 14 Vanderbilt
vs.
This game will be a great one to find out how good Tennessee really is. They beat Memphis 3 days ago to take the number 1 spot, and now they have in state rival Vanderbilt on the road.

Vandy is looking at somewhere between a 3-5 slot in the tourney, with a shot at the 2 slot if they win out. Vandy only has 4 "l's" to go with their 23 wins, but all were in conference, 3 of them were blow outs, and all on the road, including getting beat by Tenn by 20 earlier in the year. Shan Foster, Sr, G/F is the primary scorer for the Commodores at 19 a clip. The team goes pretty much how he goes, in their 3 blowout losses he has 14, 7, and 14 points.

Tennessee is 25-2, with the 2 losses coming from Kentucky, and a blowout early season loss to Texas. This team can play any style of play, as proved last Saturday when they beat previously unbeaten Memphis 66-62. There were times in that game that Tennessee had to run with Memphis and time when they slowed it down to control the clock. They are led by the three headed monster of Guard Chris Lofton, Guard JaJuan Smith, and Forward Tyler Smith. They all average over 13 points a game, the two guards a Senors, and Tyler Smith is a soph.

Match up to watch. A.J. Ogilvy Freshman, Vandy vs. Wayne Chism Soph. Tenn.

Chism went for 18 points and 18 rebounds last time these guys met, out playing the bigger Australian true Center.

Watch these games, tell me what you think. So far I'm not sure that Tenn is capable of going all the way, even after the Memphis win, but let me know.

Cowboy's are the anti Rangers

Its no surprise around these here parts that when the off season starts for our Dallas teams, we can expect 2 things; The Rangers will do go after the big names that they need to get to make their fans happy, offer them a massively underpaid contract, and get beat out by another team, and the Cowboys will to the opposite. The Rangers can then say "well fans, we tried to get him, he just didn't want to come here. Maybe if we can sell out some more games, we can get some good free agents." While the Cowboys seam to have the thought that "Well if he makes our team better, we have the money, lets do the damn thing."

I don't blog about people the Rangers "want" but wont get, but I will bring you these NFL notes about the Cowboys, that honestly might turn out to be true.

The first few are from FOX Sports, John Czarnecki.

The Patriots and Randy Moss really aren't close to a new contract, although the Pats believe Moss will give them the option to match whatever deal he does receive on the open market. That makes sense because the clubs pursuing Moss will be limited because he wants to play for a contender. The most interesting rumor is Moss joining the Dallas Cowboys. The Cowboys can pay up, and wouldn't T.O. and Moss be interesting to watch, not to mention impossible to defend?

Really. I don't know about this one, I don't know if Tony Romo can handle that pressure. He would have TO, Randy, and Patrick Crayton on the field and Jessica, Joe, Ashley, and that dude from Fall Out Boy off the field. Too many douche's in the taint?

The asking price for Patriots cornerback Asante Samuel is somewhere between $10 and $11 million per season. The Saints are currently the leader to land Samuel, although that could change. Samuel's price got this high because Atlanta's disgruntled DeAngelo Hall is asking for $10 million.

That's 2 quality CB's that can be had for either a, a shit ton of money, or b, a first round pick. If the Boys are really thinking about getting a CB with one of their first round pics, why not spend a little more money and ship one of those pics to ATL for Hall? He might be the best corner in the game right now. True, he is bat shit crazy, but hell we can bunk him Tank Johnson and tell tank to sleep with one of his AK's with a look that says, "Don't fuck up, or I will show you what I learned in prison."

I'm sure we all know now that run D-MAC ran a 4.33 40 time at the combine. The rumor is still out there that the Miami wants to trade out and would like Dallas 2 late first rounders and MB3 for the #1 overall pick. I was against this trade when I first hear it, but 4.3? DAMN that's fast. He might be worth it. Just might.

Funny Shiot

For those of you who don't watch Kimmel, and thats about everybody, you missed a funny ass segment last night. Enjoy.

The most ridiculous shit ever said.

Ok, so I was driving back to my hotel from the office, and I flipped on the local ESPN radio affiliate here in Honolulu. I was treated to the afternoon drive-time program.

Not surprisingly, the talk around town is "How is Colt Brennan doing at the combine and where should he go in the draft?"

Naturally, these are homers, and they defend any negative commentary said against their boy. Fine. However, when it came to the "where should he go discussion" I heard a comment that made me damn near swerve into the Pacific Ocean.

"I wouldn't be shocked if Pittsburgh drafts Colt. Sure they've got Roethlisberger, but he won under a different coach. I don't think the new coach likes him, and they'll probably get rid of him in favor of Colt's style to open things up."

What. The. Fuck.

Please, someone attempt to explain the commentary without using references to "insanity", "drugs", "alcohol" or general "retardation".

Quick Hits from a Phone

Best moves in the West:
-Gasol to LA
-Kings dumping Bibby
-Korver to Utah

Worst moves in the West:
-Shaq to Phoenix
-Kidd to Dallas (Note the jinx by Big a few posts ago...ass hat...never mention a parade)

Rumor that will make me jump off of Diamondhead because it should be the Mavs:
-Artest to Spurs

Racist side note:
You'd think that the Japanese would have learned what happens when they tried to invade Hawai'i...but you'd be wrong. They're everywhere.

WEEEELLLLLLLLLLL!

Two of my favoret guilty plesures are about to cross over. FNL star Taylor Kitsch (Tim Riggins) will play X-Men Gambit in some up comming movies. I'm so excited.



Hat TIP to The Big Lead

Jason Kidd, the man, the myth

I really don't know what to add to the whole Jason Kidd trade that hasn't already been said 100 times by everybody who even kinda watches basketball. So I'll just go with my take.

First off, I'm on board. Despite what most Internet people, and mostly mav's fans are saying, I don't think they gave up too much to get a guy like Kidd in here. Lets go with the reasons its a good trade.

1. Leadership.
A lot of stuff is being talked about how this team needed to get mentally stronger. Its no secret that the mav's were, for the most part, slapped mental in the that Golden State series last year. After that shitty sight, most people were ready to blow things up around here. I know I played on the Trade Machine for quite awhile seeing how I could get Garnett, or Kobe, or Jermain O'Neill in here. But the Mav's stayed pat, brought the same team back, and said, "don't worry, that just a hic up, we will be better next year." We all knew that wasn't a good idea, and the management finally agree with us fans about a week ago. They needed a leader. They had one player, Jerry Stackhouse, who would stand up at the end of a game with a snarl on his face, and say "Fuck you, we aren't loosing." Devin didn't do it, JET didn't do it, and Dirk rarely did it. The one way to get Dirk out of that role is to get inside his head during the game, and he folds like origami.

Enter Jason Kidd. Unlike before when the players on this team would look at their best player, Dirk, who then just looked back like "what?" they now have another superstar in Kidd who can say, Get me the ball, I will find a way to win.

A perfect example of this is this years NFL champion NY Giants. What was the best thing that happened to that team? Tiki left before the year started, and Shocky got hurt at the end of the year. Why was this a good thing. It took out some bad mojo in the locker room. When Eli or Plax stared looking around the locker room at the end of the year, where they would normally find a pissed off Tiki, or a mouthy Shockey, they found no one. So they had to look inside themselves.

That's what could happen here only in reverse. When people look around for leadership on the bench now, They don't have to look at Dirk to fire them up, or an aging bench player like Stack, they have Jason Fucking Kidd telling them how they are going to win.

2. Built better for More teams.

Several years ago when the Mav's lost to Steve Kerr and Spurs, they had one goal in mind, and that's beating the Spurs. They built there team around that idea that if you can beat the best team in basketball, you could win a title, and it damn near worked 2 years ago. They got rid of the point guard who couldn't guard Tony Parker, in Steve Nash. They went out and got some big guys to help defend Duncan, in Damp and Diop. They got rid of the shoot first, no dribbling, no defence mike Finley. They even added a former spur to be their coach! Every thing they did was to beat the Spurs.

Now the Spurs aren't the only team to worry about, as proof look at last year. Fast athletic teams gives them fits. Is Jason Kidd the answer to competing with those guys? No. BUT he does give the team an identity of there own. They are no longer the team that can beat the Spurs, they are the Mavericks, you have to find a way to beat them now. Only time will tell if it was a good move in that respect, but the Mavs most def have an identity now.

3. Ability for Josh Howard, Jason Terry, and Dirk to elevate their game.

I liked Devin Harris. I liked what he brought to the team. His slashing and quick defense will be missed. But as he got better, a lot of his team mates got worse. Its a simple only so many balls to go around thing. Josh Howard isn't as good as he was last year, neither is Dirk, and Jet looked like a lost player most of the time when he on the floor the same time as Harris.

Kidd will help this. It allows Howard to be more of what he is, an athletic 3 who works hard, and cuts well, and now he has someone who will know where he is, and what he is about to do at all times. The fact that Jason Kidd is a bigger point really helps out Jason Terry. I don't know if he will stay on the bench or start at the 2, but he now doesn't have to worry about playing the point at all. He is now a 2 guard for the rest of the time he and Kidd are both here. No more Jet bringing the ball up, no more yelling at him when he has 2 assists. He can just do what he does best and hopefully that will be a good thing. On defense, Terry can now guard the quicker, smaller guard while Jason guards the bigger one. And God only knows how Kidd will help out Dirk. More open looks, easier baskets. nuff said.

Now, unless your LA and you get a star like Gasol for just expiring contracts, you will have to give up something to get something in this League. Lets look at what the Mav's weaknesses now.

1. Depth.

Its scary to thing Eric Damper and Brandon Bass are your only two real big guys now, add that guy they got with Kidd in there if you want to, but I doubt the players much. How will this work against Shaq, Duncan, and Bynum? I don't know. Its a real concern playing against those guys that you have to have. Donny Nelson this morning said finding some back up bigs is his most pressing need right now, and with very little tradeable peices on this team left, I don't know how they are going to do it. PJ Brown is out there, does that make you feel any better? yea me neither.

2. The Future

The best prospect on the Mav's was Devin Harris. No question. But other than Mo Ager who has showed no signs of worthiness, he is the ONLY prospect on this team. The teams not old, per say, but its not young either. The window for this team before the trade was about 3 years or so. Now its only about 2. Giving up what could be a fantastic point is hard, but what happens if he turns into Damen Stoudamire, or Andre Miller? Both of whom where thought to be the next great point and turned into solid, but not spectacular players?

Draft Pics. I hear this one a lot as well. They gave up 2 first round pics. This year, and 2010-2011. HOPEFULLY these picks will be later first rounders. I'm talking 22 plus. Looking back at the drafts here are the few guys who are decent that got picked after 22:Daniel Gibson, Paul Millsap, Jason Maxiell, David Lee, Kevin Martin, Anderson Varejao, Leandrinho Barbosa, Josh Howard, Kyle Korver, Tayshaun Prince, Carlos Boozer, Gerald Wallace, Tony Parker, Gilbert Arenas, Mehmet Okur. That's 16 people who where picked after 22 that make a difference on their team, out of 210 plus pick. That's one out of ever 13 or so pics. Basically 2 a year. This is not the NFL, where drafting well is the only way to be a great team. If your not picking in the top 10 or so, you shouldn't expect to get a star. and only once out of ever 10 years or so should you expect to get a real solid player. Now if we become the Knicks, and start blowing ass in a few years, and that pick for 2010 becomes a lottery, then we got big time problems. But that chances of that happening are slim to none, Dirk, Howard and 3 guys can probably make the playoffs.

In closing, this trade puts the Mav's closer to a title this and next year, and further away from one after that. In toady's NBA, to be a legit championship contender, you need to be one of the top 6 teams in the league. The Mav's were right on the cusp of that a week ago, now they are still on the cusp, but if Kidd makes them just a little bit better, then they aren't on the cusp, they might even be one of the top 3. Time will tell, if this pick was worth it, but if they have the championship parade in a couple months, there will be a lot of crow to be eaten around the league.

Back, Bigger, and Full of it.

I would like to apologize for the past few days, Brown is off in Hawaii for work, i don't even know if the somas even know what a computer is, and I have been taking care of business with my family over the past few days, so sorry for the lack of posts over the past few.

Well, I'm back bitch.

To start off this short week lets quick hit some big stuff.

NBA

Number one, Dunk contest. Best I've seen in years. Birthday cake was greatness, Gay's off the suport beam was highly under rated, and Dwight Howard. Damn. If you didn't see it, here is an abridged verson.



Talking about Howards Superman Dunk, he said in an interview with hoopsworld, He said he "ment to throw the dunk in," because only superman could do that. Well done sir. Lets just hope he doesn't get into horse ridding. Too Soon?

Jason Kidd is finally a mav, more about that later today.

College Hoops

Kelvin Sampson, looks like you got your hair cut off. Look if you sleep with a snake, your going to get bit. The same shit that he did in Oklahoma, he did with Indiana, and now one of the better teams in the Big 10 may be suspended by the NCAA.

In a game that I'm sure made Brown smile, Texas Beat Texas A&M by a bunch, and Baylor lost to Oklahoma. Texas is now in my big 6, that the 6 teams that I think have a shot at winning the Dance this year. More on that later in the day or tomorrow as well.

MMA

I enjoy MMA, but I don't follow it like some of my friends. I did here this rumor that UFC might sign Kimbo Slice, so that they can fight him against Brock Lesner. I would pay for that.

NASCAR

Randy Newman, came from nowhere and proved not only does he "love LA," but he loves winning at Daytona as well. Didn't know the great song writer from all the Pixar movies was into racing? What ever floats your boat i guess.

***Correction, Its Ryan Newman that won, not singer song writer Randy*****

I hope that catches some people up. More to come today.

Mock, Yea, Ing, Yea, Bird, Yea, Yea, Yea

As you know, I am a big silly fan of the NFL draft. I will be doing several mock drafts throgh out the off season, and here is the first. This a pre combine, pre anything, and I only kinda thought about all those players that Atlanta cut today, but here we go.

First round.

1 Miami - Chris Long, DE, Virginia
This team needs about everything, except a running back. The sounds from around the league say Big Bill likes Howie's kid. I don't really know if this guy fits into that true 3-4 DE, but neither really is Jason Taylor, and look how well that worked out.

2 St. Louis Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
Most dominate player in the draft. Really shores up their run D.

3 Atlanta - Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
Perfect fit for McFadden, there is some other backs there that can help carry the load, while leaving McFadden the ability to hit home runs all day.

4 Oakland - Sedrick Ellis, DT, USC
Warren Sap is all but gone, and he was sucking when he wasn't. Ellis fills the whole.

5 Kansas City - Jake Long, OT, Michigan
Not quite ready to rock a QB here, so they take the best O-linmen in the draft.

6 NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE, Ohio St.
The Jets need to get better in a lot of places, pass rush is one of them. Gholston gives them that.

7 New England(SF) - Antoine Cason, CB, Arizona
I don't think this team will resign Sammuals, so a nice CB would be a nice fit.

8 Baltimore - Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
Kyle Boler has had as many chances as humanly possible, and McNair finished the year on IR. Even if this team goes out and gets a vet, the best QB is a nice fit here.

9 Cincinnati - Calais Campbell, DE, Miami
The Beangles really need defense, all spots. Campbell is a great pass rusher with a huge upside. Might want to get a less of a "project" player, but his upside is too high to pass up.

10 New Orleans - Kenny Phillips, S, Miami
Same as above. They need D. Phillips can help the pass and run D.

11 Buffalo - Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
While the offense was mostly the problem last year, a nice CB like Jenkins gives this team a serious contending D.

12 Denver - Keith Rivers, LB, USC
Denver needed run help, and a LB who could cover the TE's such as Tonny G in KC. Here ya go.

13 Carolina - Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
Despite what a lot of people think, I don't see them going for a QB this year. Delhome is coming back, and they got Moore as a project/ future guy. Clady will help them protect Delhome, and open holes for their tandom running duo.

14 Chicago - Brian Brohm, QB, Louisville
Here come another QB! Sexy Rexy will stay, and probably start, but just one more year, then Brohm will take over.

15 Detroit - Leodis McKelvin, CB, Troy
Its never a bad Idea to take good solid Corners. Its ever better when you need one.

16 Arizona - Sam Baker, OT, USC
With Jones and Baker now at the Tackles, this team has two great bookend tackles.

17 Minnesota - Malcolm Kelly, WR, Oklahoma
Sidney Rice showed a lot last year, and Kelly will help Boom Boom's Chances in staying the starter.

18 Houston - Jonathan Stewart, RB, Oregon
Ahman Green and Jonathan Stewart will double team Def's next year.

19 Philadelphia - DeSean Jackson, WR, Cal
Might be a bit of a reach, but Jackson has that big play ability that Donavan really wants.

20 Tampa Bay - Jeff Otah, OT, Pitt
It is never a bad idea to draft OLine.

21 Washington - Derrick Harvey, DE, Florida
If Harvey can get to the QB with some regularity, this D becomes scary.

22 Dallas(Cle) - Rashard Mendenhall, RB, Illinois
A great complement to MB3, Fast, blocks well, can break a run open.

23 Pittsburgh - Aqib Talib, DB, Kansas
Go D gets better.

24 Tennessee - Limas Sweed, WR, Texas
Young needs a solid target, and the former Texas QB gets one with Limas Sweed.

25 Seattle - Felix Jones, RB, Arkansas
Alexander is on the downhill slope, and Mo Morris isn't the answer. Jones is used to sharing touches, and this will expancd Alexander's time in this League.

26 Jacksonville - Quentin Groves, DE, Auburn
The only thing that the Jacksonville D didn't do well last year is get to the QB. Enter Quentin Groves.

27 San Diego - Frank Okam, DT, Texas
They need help stoppin the run, Okam is a big sumbitch

28 Dallas - Reggie Smith, DB, Oklahoma
A bit of a reach, but Smith can play the nickle CB untill he is ready to start in place of Henry.

29 San Francisco(Ind) - Gosder Cherilus, OT, Boston
San Fran needs alot of things as well. Who ever ends up playing QB for this team, needs better protection than they got last year.

30 Green Bay - Justin King, CB, Penn St.
Al Harris and Charlie Woodson are both up in age, and Justin King can take over when ready.

31 New England - forfeit

32 NY Giants - Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
Best OLB in draft, helps an already great D.

Second Round. Just for shit and giggles.

32 Miami - Chris Williams OT Vanderbilt
33 St. Louis - Ali Highsmith LB LSU
34 Oakland - Jeff Otah OT Pittsburgh
35 Kansas City - Dominique Rodgers CB Tennessee State
36 New York Jets - Keith Rivers LB USC
37 Atlanta - Phillip Merling DE Clemson
38 Baltimore - Patrick Lee CB Auburn
39 San Fransisco - Mario Manningham WR Michigan
40 New Orleans - Kentwan Balmer DT North Carolina
41 Buffalo - Pat Sims DT Auburn
42 Denver - Fred Davis TE Southern California
43 Carolina - Xavier Adibi LB Virginia Tech
44 Chicago - Carl Nicks OT Nebraska
45 Detroit - Erin Henderson LB Maryland
46 Cincinnati - Antoine Cason CB Arizona
47 Minnesota - Tracy Porter CB Indiana
48 Atlanta (from Houston) - Joe Flacco QB Delaware
49 Philadelphia - Beau Bell LB UNLV
50 Arizona - Branden Flowers CB Virginia Tech
51 Washington - James Hardy WR Indiana
52 Tampa Bay - Early Doucet WR LSU
53 Pittsburgh - Anthony Collins OT Kansas
54 Tennessee - Chris Ellis DE Virginia Tech
55 Seattle - John Carlson TE Notre Dame
56 Cleveland - Jamaal Charles RB Texas
57 Miami (from San Diego) - Chad Henne QB Michigan
58 Jacksonville - Charles Godfrey CB Iowa
59 Indianapolis - Curtis Lofton LB Oklahoma
60 Green Bay - Heath Benedict OT Newberry
61 Dallas - Earl Bennett WR Vanderbilt
62 New England - Devin Thomas WR Michigan State
63 New York Giants - Steve Slaton RB West Virginia

Its early, And I know i'm way off, but wasn't that fun?

Happy Valentines day

Ahh yes, what a great day this is. It is the day that men everywhere treat their ladies like whores. We treat them nice, take them out to dinner, or cook it our selfs, and buy them expensive things, all so we might get some crazy V-Day sex tonight.

Box of Chocolats - 20 bucks
Flowers - 40 bucks
dinner - 75 bucks
some "from the heart" gift, usually something you buy at Zales - 100 bucks

Total - 235 bucks

Hooker(decent) - 150 bucks, (not that I know thats just what i've heard)

Who gets the better deal? One you should get sex, the other just dosen't want you to get it in her hair.

Happy V Day sports.

Of all the people....

Despite what you think of the proposed trade between the Mavs and Nets, we can all agree that getting rid of the spare ass 0-11 shooting, OVERRATED Devon George is a good thing.

Well, not so fast. As of right now the trade for Jason Kidd has been put on hold due to the man I was so happy to see go, Devon George.

"The same George who recently announced a desire to be traded if his playing
time didn't increase in Dallas has taken advantage of a little-known league rule
to block this trade, most likely on a temporary basis but potentially for
good."

He even said.

"it's kind of messed up how all the fingers are pointing at me."

That's because you are to blame, you big douche. When in the world did Devon George become a basketball player that we listen to anyway? Now we got an unhappy George, a PG who KNOWS he was about to be traded, and some other GM's are crying that Stack said he wants to come back to the Mavs if he gets cut? What is going on here?

You know what happens now? If they can't work something out with NJ and George, we are about to get screwed in ass with a tuna can. 3 Things could go down, only one of them is decent.

1. George OK's the trade and it goes through.
2. The Mav's bring in another team that George OK's, and involve them in the Kidd trade. This would mean that we probably would have to give up more players, and or cash.
3. The trade gets stalled, and we have a team that knows the management doesn't think it can win a championship currently as is. And if this one happens, only 2 things can come from that.

• a. Our team sucks the rest of the year because the management gave up on them.
• b. We have to go ahead and trade Harris, for 50% what he's worth, because teams no we have to trade him.

I am so pissed at George right now.

Lets not get all antsy in our pantsy

I just want it to be on record that I am behind the trading of an over the hill bench player, an over the hill 3, a center that lost his starting job to Damp, and a point guard who in 4 seasons in the league is still nothing better than a speed drive the hole point guard, for the best point in the League, even if he is old as dirt and may only play a few years. Look at this starting line up and tell me it isn't good.

PG-Kidd
SG-Terry(doesns't have to run the point AT ALL anymore)
SF-Howard
PF-Dirk
C-Damp

Thats not bad at all.

For the record

I am wholly against the Jason Kidd to Dallas trade. It will set the Mavericks back by a few years and they will not be able to do anything in the playoffs. Don't make the move just to make the move.

That is all.

Here we go again

ESPN has just put this up. Jason Kidd to Dallas just wont die.

"Although sources say that the teams are still sorting out final details, this deal was described as "imminent" by one source close to the process after negotiations moved to an advanced stage Tuesday night."

"require Dallas to send 24-year-old point guard Devin Harris, veteran swingman Jerry Stackhouse, the expiring contracts of center DeSegana Diop and swingman Devean George and another player such as guard Maurice Ager to New Jersey for Kidd and possibly veteran guard Darrell Armstrong."

"A point guard of Kidd's caliber, influence and experience would undoubtedly please the demanding Avery Johnson, reinvigorate a team that has been lacking energy and confidence and supply Dallas' coach with a dangerous four-man core of Kidd, Josh Howard, Jason Terry and reigning MVP Dirk Nowitzki."

Don't know what to think of this trade if it goes down, but it should be interesting to watch.

It's Time, It's Time, It's Vader Time.

Or draft time. Either way i'm cool. I was thinking about how to bring up draft talk here on this site. It might be too much just for me jump in and start telling you how each team will act, and who they should go for, and throw 19 mocks in your face. So, seeing as how most of the people who read this are followers of the Cowboys, lets just start there.

Here is what people around the interweb are saying in their mocks about the 'boys. (click the link if you want to see their full mock, some are interesting as hell, like Miami taking a QB with number 1!)

Footballs Future.
22. Reggie Smith DB Oklahoma
28. Felix Jones, RB, Arkansas

NFL Draft Countdown
22. AQIB TALIB
28. FELIX JONES

Draft Tek
22 Aqib Talib CB Kansas
28 D Rodgers-Cromarti CB Tennessee St.

Draft Ace
22 Felix Jones Running Back Arkansas
28 D. Cromartie-Rodgers Cornerback Tenn. State

FFToolbox
22 Leodis McKelvin, CB, Troy
28 Felix Jones, RB, Arkansas

NFL Draft Dog
22 WR Malcolm Kelly, Oklahoma
28 RB Felix Jones, Arkansas

NFL Report
22 CB Leodis McKelvin Troy
28 OT Chris Williams Vanderbilt

Great Blue North
22 Aqib Talib DB Kansas
28 Limas Sweed WR Texas

Saturdays 2 sundays
22. Limas Sweed, Texas (WR)
28. Antoine Cason, Arizona (CB)

So right now, its looks like most people think Dallas will go corner, and runningback. Not a bad idea. But I found it interesting that there were no other RB's except Felix Jones, that only one guy had us taking OL, that people think Aqub Talib will last that long. Its good stuff.

Booooo this man!

NBA Basketball. Where amazing happens. Unless of course by amazing you mean having some fun at the All Star Weekend Slam Dunk Contest.



This is Dwight Howard. He is a man beast. One of the better power forwards/centers in the game. THE best young PF/C in the game. He also has crazy, jump out of the gym, leaping ability. Its hard to tell because he is damn near 7 feet tall. Its hard for people to see just how high he can leap because its so easy for him to dunk a basketball, because of his height. So how can he empress the Slam Dunk contest judges, and entertain the crowd no less? How about raising the basketball rim to 12 feet instead of 10? Its like making him 5 feet tall. If a 5 foot sumabitch can dunk a ball, that would win the competition hands down. Sounds like a good idea for Howard right?

Well not so fast there good buddy. The NBA has said no to Howards request. Thats cool, it would be hard to raise the rim during the contest, take too much time and that stuff. What? That's not it?

"They've ruled that changing the height of the rim, while easily done mid-contest with the help of hydraulics, clashes with their intent to apply as many standard NBA rules to All-Star Weekend contests as possible."

Here is what he did/could have done at last years contest.



Well done NBA, way to look out for the fans.

Douche.

How very strange

I was walking down Kalakaua blvd on the way back from 24 hour fitness tonight, and the strangest thing happened.

Before I get into that, let me set the scene. I'm in Hawai'I for 2 weeks for work, and I've already had a shitty flight over, only to meet Sal Paolantonio in the airport and, well, that's a separate tangent all together.

Anyway, I'm walking down a heavily populated street, and my mp3 player is on shuffle. Suddenly,the song "Bittersweet Symphony" comes on.

I know what you're thinking, "Hey, Brown, it's not 1997 anymore, fag!" To which I reply, go fuck yourself, fascist.

Anyway, I decided to mimic the video and keep walking into people while they had crazy reactions.

Who would have thought, fat samoan people get VERY pissed for no reason.

I hate this place sometimes.

Well done sir, well done

Bravo

Big's Childhood, the movies.

As a request from a friend, who likes our writing, but isn't' that big a sports fan, I am introducing a new weekly blog about something other than sports. I don't have a fun name for it yet, but it will be posted here on Fridays for as long as I can remember to do it. This is a long one, so be warned.

I don't know what it is, it might be the list Brown posted earlier, or maybe the fact I hung out with my young niece's and nephews the other day, but I have been thinking about my childhood recently. Then last night, I watched a movie called "Sky High" yesterday, a decent movie that I think I would be really into if I was still 12, and thought to myself, "what were the biggest movies of my childhood?" So over today I have come up with a list, Its a top 11 list, of the most watched 11 movies of my childhood.

So let me start by qualifying a few things. First, I'm calling my childhood from the ages of 6-14 or so, cuz that's all my mind can remember, because its filled with hops and bong water. Second, I didn't really watch a whole hell of lot of movies, my family didn't go to the cinema much, and I was really into playing outside, video games, and sat morn cartoons. It my young young years I think I would rather watch an episode of Thundercats than some kids movie on Disney Channel.
And why 11? Cuz everybody else does just 10.

Honorable Mention - These are the movies that I thought of but didn't make the cut.

Only the Strong(1993) - As you will see from the following list, I loved Karate movies. OTS was the only movie I have ever seen about capoeira, a "dance" fighting style. I tried so damn hard to fight like this. It was great.

Krush Grove(1985) - You know its good, cuz the spelled krush with a K! This movie probably started my love of Hip Hop. Its about how Def Jam got started and all that Jazz. Run DMC, Fat Boys, New Edition, and Beastie Boys all played themselves.

Van Damme Movies - I went through a big JCVD faze. Kickboxer, Lionheart, Bloodsport, Street Fighter, all pretty much the same movie, but I loved them all.

Silvarado(1985) - Still to this day one of the top 3 westerns of all time. Cast was great, and this is the first movie on this list I watched with my dad.

Transformers(1986) - There were two groups of kids that were between the ages of 4-13 when this movie came out, Transformer lovers, and GI Joe head. I was a Joe head, but this movie was still a big player in my house.

All right now to the real list.

11. The Last Dragon(1985)


Holy crap. Here is the plot summery from IMDB : A young man searches for the "master" to obtain the final level of martial arts mastery known as the glow.

How bad ass does that sound? I remember when I first saw this movie. It came on after cartoons on Saturday morning sometime in 1988 or so. I was 7-8 years old, and was shocked that I had never heard of this movie before now. I quickly rushed out and told all my friends about it, and how bad ass Bruce Leeroy was, and how he got the "Glow," but nobody believed me. Nobody had ever seen it either.

I didn't know what it was called, The guy at Take One Video hadn't heard of it. It was like the great white wale of my childhood. I swear it was the best movie ever, but nobody believed it even existed.

Then one fateful day a year or two later, I came across it again on TV. This time I called some people, and those who could watch it still speak of its greatness today. Its was that damn fantastic.

10. Airborne (1993)

Simple story; Surfer guy has to move to Cleavland, where there is no beach. He gets bummed until his folks send him his Roller Blades! Now he falls for a chick who is the sister of his biggest bully, and he has to win a big roller blade race to get on his good side and win her heart!

Now who wouldn't love that movie? It had a lot of the things that a young Big wanted in his life, roller blade prowless, talked like a surfer, and he got chicks! That was what I wanted to be for a solid 2 years. Hell its better than a Trucker or a Wrestler, which is what I wanted to be when I was 4-9.

9. Footloose (1984)

Gayest movie on my list, by far, but till this day I can't not watch it if it comes on. Its like crack. You do it once, its not bad, then you do it again and its even better, before you know it, you know all the words to "lets hear it for the boys."

So lets just start a little sub list of my weird movie loves, so far we got Karate, Surffer/Rollerblade, and now we can add Dancing to the list. I love me some dance movies. I almost put in Breaking in my HM above, but didn't.

I wanted to be Ren McCormack(Kevin Bacon), and I wanted to fuck the shit out of Ariel Moore. She was one of the first "hey now" girls of my childhood.


In case you lived under a rock for the past 20 years, and you have never seen Footloose, the plot goes as such; New guy comes to town where no dancing is allowed, He wants to dance, Fights the preacher, Throws a dance.

I have a feeling this movie was brain washed in my head because I had 2 older sisters, who loved this kind of stuff, at least that's what I'm telling people.

8. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Ahhh yes. This green VHS was worn out in my player over that summer that it came out. One of the more popular games we played as kids was Ninja Turtles. It said a lot about a person as to what turtle they wanted to be.

Michelangelo - A Crazy center of attention kinda guy, the popular kid.
Raphael - The rebel.
Leonardo - The Leader
Donatello - The quite, smart type.
Casey Jones - The crazy mother fucker who liked to "burn things."

I wanted to be Raphael, but I knew in my heart I would always be Donatello.

7. Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)

Looking back at it now, the first Rambo, the one in the city was a much better movie, but this one, the one in the jungle, was the one I watched countless times as a child.

I don't really know what happened to all the shoot em up, crazy solider movies, but as a kid I wanted nothing more than to have a bunch of guns, and shoot a bunch of bad guys. Now a days its all about using super powers, and electronics and such to beat the bad guys. Just shoot somebody already!

FBP2 was so money in every way for a you kid. No real love story, no real story at all, just a guy, killing bad guys, saving POW's, and then sticking it to his boss. That's what I'm talking about.

6. The Karate Kid (1984), The Karate Kidd II (1986)

I had to put these two together due to the fact that I can't remember which one I watched more. There wasn't anything better than pretending to do rock the crane kick, or the drum punches, when pretending to fight.

Looking back at it, there is no way this movie could happen in real life. What self respecting mother would let her child kick it with an old karate master from okanawa and not think something special was going on.


The Cobra Kia was the best bad guys ever to be in a movie.

Ever.

5. Top Gun (1986)

How can you get guys to watch a chick flick? Answer, include lots of air plane battles, a troubled soul who loses his best friend, and one Ice Man.

That's what Top Gun gave us. Don't get it twisted this is a chick flick. Boys finds girl, falls for girl, can't get girl, then gets girl. Its what all chick flicks are about. What sets this one apart is the fact that all men can identify with Mavrick.

Because of this movie every little boy, including me, wanted to be a jet fighter pilot, and play sand volleyball with no shirt on.

I watched this movie with my parents probably a hundred times. Its one of the few movies that we could all pop in and be entertained for 2 hours.

4. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)

This had to be the first movie I ever saw in the Theater. I was a mear 2 or 3 years old, and it was greatness, one of my earliest movie memories. I almost just put all Star Wars together, but that wouldn't be fair to this one. Now a days I enjoy the second one more than the others, but this one was what I watched over and over as a kid.

Could it be Because of her?

No, i was too young to find that interesting.

Maybe cuz of all the black hero's, both clad and skin?

maybe. But I bet it was because of these guys.

Eeeehheetoya......BOOM

Yea, as a kid I loved the little guys.

3. The Program (1993)

OK, so first let me just say I had pretty cool parents. They let me watch just about anything that wasn't soft core porn, or anti-god. They had trust in me that I wouldn't talk like Eddie Murphy from 48 hours, or act as stupid as the kids from Animal House. They new I was a good kid that like sports, so when I, a 12-13 year old kid, asked if I could watch the Program, they were cool with it. And from that point, it was done.

Everything I did for the next 2 years was based on this movie. I would talk shit during football games the same way Alvin Mack did. I would pretend to be hooked on booze like Joe Cain. I wanted to bust my ass in school like Darnell Jefferson. It was a life style.

To this day we quote this movie. "Fuck you dough boy, I can read. See that shoe, it says Adidas." "You the motha fucka that got my baby sister pregnant. Haven't seen you around lately." "Because we all know, Cain is Able."

I could go on for hours, but you know what I'm saying.

2. Rocky IV (1985)


With out a doubt the best Rocky ever made. Great fights; Rocky vs. Drago.

Great quotes, "If he dies, he dies."

A person overcoming a loss of a friend.

The best training scene ever in a movie. Rocky in the woods, Drago doing roids.

And it single handled ended the cold war.

1. G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)

As I said earlier, as a child you were either a GI Joe guy or a Transformers guy, as you can guess, I was a GI Joe head.

I don't know how many Joe's I had, but they were easily in the triple digits. I even had the special ordered Super Trooper, that you could only get with like 15 proof of purchases and 10 bucks. He was awesome.

This movie also merged two of my worlds. Joe's and wrestling with Sargent Slaughter. Needless to say I was like a pig in shit i was so happy.

The world was a better place when I was blue vs red lasers. There were no color barriers like Rambo, or sympathizing with the enemy, except you felt bad for Cobra Commander in the movie, but for the most part it was just good vs evil, and good always won.

Welp, that's this weeks non sports story, hope you enjoyed it. If you think I left something out, please, let me know.

The Brown Five - 2/08/08 - That's how timezones work

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) Here we go with PETA again
Pedro Martinez and Juan Marichal were in the Dominican Republic last week, and they decided to take in a popular sport of their home country. Problem is, that popular sport happens to be cockfighting. Have we learned nothing from Mike Vick? Come on! Sure it's legal down there, but PETA will protest the scene from "The Great Outdoors" where John Candy shoots a bear in the ass. Fuck it, PETA is the issue here, not Pedro. I'd like to just start kicking a box labeled "kittens" around the lawn in front of the home office.

2) Brian McNamee saves needles
For seven fucking years. Really? Everyone is okay in believing that, but we don't want to believe the athletes? If I'm Clemens's lawyer, I just say "he admitted to receiving B-12 shots, and that's the remnants of those syringes. Any steroid residue has been added since the shot was given, and is consdered tampering and is inadmissable"

3) Watch Illinois and Indiana last night
Good game from a couple of rivals. What impressed me was when a certain Jeffrey Jordan hit a key overtime jumper to make things close for Illinois. You might remember Jeffrey's father, Michael. Pretty good basketball player. I'd like to submit a new nickname: Jeffrey "Heir" Jordan. Think about it.

4) Manning to Tyree listed as "greatest play ever in Super Bowl"
Yeah, I'm okay with that. In the 20 some odd years I've been watching them, it's the only one that has made me stand up and scream and ask all the stupid people who were still sitting down "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FROM MANNING?" only to get blank stares like I interrupted a bunch of serious conversations because they forgot it that a GOD DAMN FOOTBALL GAME WAS ON AND IT WASN'T A MOTHER FUCKING SOCIAL HOUR. What was my point again?

5) I wish this was a joke. I'm still hoping it is a joke.
Jesus Christ, let it go.

Go white boy, Go white boy, Go!

With National signing day the other day, here is a video of Sam McGuffie, a running back from Cypress (TX) Cy-Fair. I have no idea where that is, but this kid is special, and he's white. Not that that matters, but it should just be noted. Jonny Vag Pants should be excited he will be playing for the blue and gold next year.



Big ups to Gerry at uncle rico. Read him if your interested in Alabama football and how they did, or just an overview of NSD.

Why I think the Rangers will turn it around

It's no secret that I've been a Ranger fan since I began watching baseball as a kid. I never played the game, mainly because I sucked at it (I have the coordination of a retarded kid who also has muscular distrophy), but I sure watched it enough.

Anyway, a certain hall of fame pitcher and Texas legend has always been one of my favorite players, and now that man, Nolan Ryan, is the new president of your Texas Rangers.

Do I think he really knows a lot about the business end of running a baseball team? No.

Is this just a publicity stunt to get more fans at the ballpark? Yes.

Will Nolan go old school in the locker room and go "Robin Ventura" on one of the younger players in the locker room? I'm looking at you, Freddie Guzman.

Either way, I think Nolan being involved will help us as fans of this little team remember the glory years and cheer again without thinking of Hicks and Daniels general stupidity.

Don't get the Robin Ventura reference or just want to see it again? Ok...

The Brown Five - 2/7/08 - How do you like your breakfast taco?

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) Nick Saban pulls off a coup
So, for the most part, America hates Nick Saban, right? Wrong. The man can recruit like a mother fucker in a very highly touted area of the country. 32 recruits including the nations number 4, 30, 38, and 55 ranked players as well as a quarterback who's first name is "Star". Does it mean they're going to win a title tomorrow? No. Does it mean that Alabama can come back to prominence in the SEC? Probably.

2) The Kevin Hart story is closer to Big's life than you think
Remember this? Kevin Hart makes a commitment to California. California and Tedford don't know what the hell he's talking about. Hart says he was duped and scammed out of money by a "recruiter". Turns out, Hart made the whole thing up. Fernley High School, Reno, Nevada...where dumb asses are born.

3) Shaq to Phoenix still confuses the world
But, hey, he promised Steve Nash he won't let him down. This is interesting to me for a few reasons. Shaq is making a step towards saying, "I know I'm not the guy here, you are. I'm supporting that." That's huge for Shaq. It also means that Shaq is pissed off, and he's going to take it out on Los Angeles, Dallas and any Eastern conference team that comes in his way. At least we get to see Dampier get abused over and over again.

4) Cassell to Boston? Uh oh.
You know what happens when a bunch of aging veterans try to tack on to the hot team with the hopes they might come away with a ring? Failure. See the Lakers with Payton and Malone. Is Cassell an upgrade over Rondo? Oh god yes. Will the Clippers just let him go? I don't think so.

5) Duke won on Tobacco Road last night
Lawson was mosing, and the Tar Heels just look slow and struggling all night, but you got to hand it to Greg Paulus for draining six three pointers last night. Duke let it rain from the three point line all night, and that made UNC's size advantage pretty useless.

It's so true

Ever since buying a Wii over Christmas, I've been thrown back in time to a point where I can download and play the old Nintendo games that I grew up playing as a youth in the shittiest little shit town in Texas.

I have never found a more comprehensive list of "HOLY FUCK! YOU NAILED IT" than this list right here:

Cracked.com's 10 Most Irritatingly Impossible Video Games

Congratulations, folks. I buried these feelings so long ago, and you and the Wii have dredged them up to where I lay on my floor rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

It still feels good

schadenfreude - (shahd-n-froi-duh) - noun - satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.

Example: Brown is giggling because he feels schadenfreude towards Boston fans.

The Brown Five - 2/6/08 - Maybe the Suns can get Penny back too

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) The Heat are ecstatic, I'm scratching my head
If you haven't heard by now, the Suns and the Heat have made a deal: Marion and Banks for Shaq. This allows the Heat to dump Shaq's contract, get a complimentary point machine and stingy defensive player for Wade as well as a solid young point guard to replace White Chocolate. The Suns? They're trying to convince themselves that Shaq is going to give them the defensive presence they need in the middle and they can shift Amare to the 4 with Grant Hill backing him up. This was a bad move by Phoenix. I just don't think Shaq is worth it anymore.

2) The West is moving, yet the Mavs stand still
Okay. Gasol to the Lakers. Shaq to the Suns. Stoudamire to the Spurs. Durant coming into his own in Seattle. Paul on fire in New Orleans. Utah fusing. Portland gelling with Oden coming in next year. The Mavs? Holding on for dear life. I'm still not a fan of the Jason Kidd move, but come on. The Mavericks HAVE to make a move to get better. If you aren't moving to get better, you are only getting worse. You can't wait for the D-league All Stars to come into their own. Jones, Bass and Hassell aren't the fire power you need. I dont play with the trade machine, but do what you can to get an Artest-like player.

3) Signing Day has become quite a big deal now
It's always been a big day for those in college and in high school, but I don't ever remember it being such a big deal outside of that. Anyway, today is the day that high school studs sign at the school that has promised them the most pussy and cash. I'm always most impressed at how schools like Notre Dame that really hasn't been relevant in the past 5 years manages to swing one of the top classes annually. That Jesus, he sure has some reach.

4) Clemens has played his last card
By saying that he went in front of the Congressional lawyers and said that he didn't use steroids or growth hormone, then he's either seriously telling the truth or he's risking perjury and jailtime. This is not just going at a press conference or with Mike Wallace. No sir, these are the top and most powerful lawyers in the U.S. Government. It's made not only next week's public questioning that much more intriguing, but has made the testimony of Andy Pettite that much more curious. Is Pettite going to side with McNamee or Clemens? Someone is going to jail over this.

5) Baseball season is right around the corner, and I need a fresh taste in my mouth
2007 was weird, to say the least. Bonds getting THE record. Glavine got his 300th game. Biggio got his 3,000 hit. Thomas got his 500th homer. The Rockies had the almost Cinderella run, and the Red Sox kicked down the door for the insufferable Boston fan. What do we get this year? Well, keep posted and we'll be there all the way from April where the Rangers look like contenders to June where they will be 15 games out and re-loading for 2009.

You sorry SOB's

As I reported earlyer today, I annonced that I will be attending Texas A&M to fullfill a dream and play TE for them next year. But just like my buddy Kevin Hart It turns out I don't have a school anymore.

At first I was weary when a Fake Mike Sherman called me over the last few weeks to court me to his supple football bosom, but he soon had me hook line and sinker. So much so that I gave myself a cool football nick name, "Notorious," and asked everyone to race me as i was working on improving my foot speed.

It didn't bother me that I wasn't on rivals.com, or even mentioned in on the Aggie message boards. I knew that coach Sherman wanted me there, and we would dominate.

BUT, I just found out it was all a sham. The person I had been talking to the whole time was not Mike Sherman, but Brown, with a southern draw.

I am crushed.

I don't know what to do now.

At least I can go to Texas, Mack Brown still wants me.

***UPDATE: Mack Brown was the ManBearPig Tobey****

So if I'm a little down the next few days, you know why.

(read the two articles I linked and all this will make since)

Where I will be playing football next year.

Well, its a day before national signing day, and I am ready to make my commitment to where I will be playing football next year. I have been out of college for 3 years now, out of football for 10, but I have been keeping in shape. So while it was a surprise, it was not a total shock that new head coach Mike Shermen of the Texas A&M Aggies contacted me a few weeks ago, asking about my 40 time and how much I could bench 150Lbs.

At first I thought he was trying to get me to donate to my father's, not mine, Alma mater, but then he started asking me football questions. I taped one of the conversations and it went like this.

Coach -Hello son, This is Coach Sherman, I know its always been a dream of yours to play football for the Aggs, and I'm here to see if you want that dream to come true.

Big- Uhh, yea, but I'm 3 years out of college, I drink heavily, and smoke about half a pack a day.

Coach - I know, I've read your bio, but I was watching some game tape of you from 1995 and thought you showed real potential. That tape, plus reading this blog, I know you are a smart football person, and I'll be frank with you, I think we can mold you into the next great Aggie TE.

Big -This is a joke right?

Coach - no son its not. I'll be in touch.

And that was the end of it. I didn't think much of it till Mack Brown called me the other day. He asked me if I would like to play TE for the Horns next year.

Wow, My head was spinning. I had no idea that a 26 year old blogger could have his dream come true, but alas, I am going to play major D1 college football.

So just like my friend, Kevin Hart, who picked to go to Cal this week, after thinking long and hard, I'm going to pick to play for my fathers team, Texas A&M.

Gig Em!!

The Brown Five - 2/5/08 - Back in the saddle again.

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) Eli and the Giants slay Goliath
Wow. I really can't add anything to the commentary that's already been given. So I'm just going to say, "wow". Attention Oakland, Jeremy Shockey now available. Attention Tiki, the little white guy laughing his ass off at you is Eli Manning.

2) Gregg Williams interviews for the Cowboys
Big disagrees with me, but I think this is way too many cooks in the defense's kitchen. Phillips, Campo, Stewart, Williams (maybe), Capers (maybe). That's a head coach, a coordinator, and three former head coaches on one defensive staff. Too many egos, and no one is going to check that. On the plus side, one of these guys has to make Roy Williams tradeable, right?

3) Seems like Devin Harris is more important than we thought
Without the burn and slash stylings of Devin Harris, the Mavericks have reverted to a jump shooting team, aka they suck again. Jason Terry is proving that he should not be a starter, as when he comes off the bench he is much more effective. Given the exposure that Harris is much more important than given credit for, would you still make the Kidd move?

4) Gasol to the Lakers, shit to the Grizzlies
That's all it took to get Pau Gasol? That's ALL??? No one else in the league could best that? REALLY? Kwame Brown, Javaris Crittendon and two draft picks? No wonder Kobe's playing happy like a pig in shit right now.

5) Bobby Knight retires
Make no mistake about it, Bobby Knight is the winningest coach in college basketball history. His impact on the game is greater than others, and his contribution to sports and sports talk is legendary. Anyone who attemppts to bring up Pat Summit deserves a swift kick to the crotch. Comparing women's basketball to men's basketball is like comparing high school football to the NFL. Same sport, leaps and bounds from the same thing.

Pats will win

I will be rooting for the Pats this weekend.

Two Reasons:
1. I fucking hate the Giants, and Eli, and everything the Osi shits on.
2. I believe in Santa. And he might be playing for the Pats.

Santa?

Interesting

I was poking around the WWL website yesterday and come across (making it sound like i "found" some hidden numbers on their site that nobody noticed before, but i just clicked a lot of links, probably thinking they were porn link, but I digress) some interesting numbers. Its one of those questionnaires I always find myself taking to burn time. Whats crazy is some of the numbers that over 400,000 votes. I'll explain after the results.

1) Which team will win the Super Bowl? 42.3% Patriots in a blowout

30.1% Giants in a close game
14.5% Patriots in a close game 13.1% Giants in a blowout 2) Which team are you rooting for? 50.8% Patriots
49.2% Giants

3) Has Tom Coughlin established his job security?

64.1% Yes
33.7% No, he'll have to win the Super Bowl
2.2% No, his job is still in jeopardy

4) Has Eli Manning shed the 'choker' label?

55.8% Yes
44.2% No

5) If the Patriots lose the Super Bowl, will their season be considered a disappointment?

50.3% No
49.7% Yes

6) Will Randy Moss (2 rec., 32 yards in two games) continue to struggle in the playoffs?

65.0% No
35.0% Yes

7) If you will not be in attendance, where will you watch the game?

80.9% At home
15.0% At a party
2.7% At a bar/restaurant
1.0% Probably won't watch
0.4% Travel to Arizona and watch somewhere

8) Will you watch the halftime performance by Tom Petty?

52.1% No
47.9% Yes

9) Which do you enjoy more about the Super Bowl?

92.5% The game
5.7% The commercials
1.8% The hype

10) Who will be telling us he's going to Disney World after the Super Bowl?

30.2% Tom Brady, QB, Patriots
23.6% Eli Manning, QB, Giants
20.1% Tedy Bruschi, LB, Patriots
10.0% Randy Moss, WR, Patriots
4.2% Michael Strahan, DE, Giants
2.8% Wes Welker, WR, Patriots
2.2% Plaxico Burress, WR, Giants
1.9% Someone else
1.8% Osi Umenyiora, DE, Giants
1.7% Laurence Maroney, RB, Patriots
0.7% Brandon Jacobs, RB, Giants
0.5% Amani Toomer, WR, Giants
0.4% Asante Samuel, CB, Patriots

Ok, lets look at the more interesting things that this says.

42.3% of the votes believed the Patriots would win in a blowout. Not a big surprise there

But 30.1% believe the Giants would win in a close game, while only 14.5%believe the Patriots would win in a close game. So half as many people believe that pats would win a close game?

Just over 50% believe the Pats season would still be successful if they loose. I don't agree with that at all. If you go 18-0 going into the Superbowl, then loose, You have failed.

and lastly, 20.1% of people think Tedy Bruschi, LB, Patriots will be the "I'm going to Disney World" commercial. What? Won't all those flashing lights give him a stroke or something?

Hooray!!!

Thank god for Deadspin