Fantastic read regarding ESPN

Over at SportsByBrooks, Brooks has written up a fantastic article regarding the evolution of ESPN and how it has driven to the Twitter muzzling over at Bristol.

BIg’s in radio, so he can probably speak to the battle between programming and sales.  Fucking sales guys.  Scum of the earth.

Future of Hip-Hop?

Nas on the Future of hip hop.



Funny. HT WWTD

Guess what's coming back soon!!!

Can't have a Sunny post with out the greatness of Greenman!



(what, you thought i was talking about something else?)

Elvis is my hero

A certain team that won't be named, has a certain young SS named Elvis. This is his walk up music. Holy Crap.




Chacaroon indeed.

Big, in madmen

Do it youself,here. Of course I couldn't do anything about madmen without some picks of my newest Muse, Christina Hendricks.

Guide to Drafting Actors

Its hard for me to explain to you how much i hate ESPN these days. Especially ESPN.com. The constant treating of worthless stories that I don't really care about. The shameless self promoting. It just drives me insane.

Yet, I got to the site almost daily in one form or another. Henry Abbots True Hoop might be my favorite basketball blog, and of course there is one of my leaders, Bill Simmons.

In Simmons most recent post for the four letter, he takes a look at the NBA off-season using quotes from the great movie "Almost Famous." Its a good read, but you have probably already read it.

The Part that got me, and usually when I read Simmons there is always a part that gets me, is his suggestion to do an "Actor's Draft." I'll let him explain.

"If you were to have a DVD-collection draft with five buddies (and by the way, don't think I haven't done this) in which everyone picks six actors in snake fashion and you get every single movie they made on DVD, Hoffman would be a sneaky late-first-round pick. You'd get "Almost Famous," "Boogie Nights," "The Talented Mr. Ripley," "Scent of a Woman" and about 10 watchable indies, right?"

Holy Crap, what a great Idea!!!!!

A few hoursdays later, I bring you this.

The Draft Guide to Drafting Actors in an Actor Draft(what?).

Rules of the Draft. Its a snake draft, where you pick one actor/actress, and you get his entire catalog of DVD's, both film and TV, and every movie that he makes from this point on.

This guide will be broken down as such, First Rounders, Late Round Sleepers, and Future Pics. I will give you a list of Good Movies/TV they have done, and a why you want them on your draft board.

First Rounders.

Tom Hanks
(Charlie Wilson's War, Catch Me If You Can, Cast Away, The Green Mile, Saving Private Ryan, That Thing You Do!, Toy Story, Apollo 13, Forrest Gump, Philadelphia, A League of Their Own, Turner & Hooch, Big, Dragnet, The Money Pit, Bachelor Party)

He has to be at least in the top 3 of all draft boards. He has Iconic Movies (Apollo 13, Private Ryan), kids movies (Toy Story), comidies (A League of Their Own, Bachelor Party), and everything in between. He is a guy that no matter who you watching a movie with, wether it be buddies, your girl, your pops or even your grandmother, you can find something in his colection that you can enjoy.



Morgan Freeman
(Se7en, Outbreak, The Shawshank Redemption, Unforgiven, The Dark Knight, Evan Almighty, Batman Begins, Million Dollar Baby, Amistad, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Glory, Driving Miss Daisy)

Again a great actor with an impressive resume. There are at least 4 movies that are undeniably "re watchable," and several more that are right up there. Even at his old age, he is 73, he has some life left with the new Batman franchise.




Robert De Niro
(Shark Tale, Meet the Parents, Men of Honor, Analyze This, Ronin, Jackie Brown, Heat, Casino, Cape Fear, Backdraft, Goodfellas, The Untouchables, Raging Bull, The Deer Hunter, New York, New York, Taxi Driver, The Godfather: Part II)

What do you need to say about De Niro? He is versatile, has some Iconic movies, and If your into the "gangster" movie's at all, this is an easy first round pick to get your collection started with a super solid base.




Al Pacino
(Ocean's Thirteen, Any Given Sunday, The Devil's Advocate, Donnie Brasco, Heat, Carlito's Way, Scent of a Woman, Glengarry Glen Ross, The Godfathers, Scarface, Serpico)

He is only slightly below De Niro due to the lack of lighter movies on his list. He hasn't done anything like Meet the Parents or Sharks Tale, but his gangster movies are, dare I say, better? Carlito's Way and Scareface > The Untouchables and Ronin? Truly a "Guys Guy" first rounder.



Matt Damon
(Ocean's Thirteen, The Departed, The Bourne Supremacy, EuroTrip, Finding Forrester, The Legend of Bagger Vance, Rounders, Saving Private Ryan, Good Will Hunting, Dogma, Chasing Amy)

This might be a little bit of a surprise to some people, but the body of work that Matt Damon has delivered speaks for itself. He also has the rub that his acting career is in full swing right now, and certain directors (Scorsese, Sodderberg) like him, and they make good movies.



Denzel Washington
(American Gangster, Man on Fire, Training Day, Remember the Titans, The Hurricane, He Got Game, Fallen, Crimson Tide, Philadelphia, Malcolm X, Glory)

If your picking near the end of the first round, Denzel puss another pick early in the second round would make for a solid base for your DVD collection, especially if your into the gansta genre.




Will Ferrell
(Step Brothers, The Producers, Wedding Crashers, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Elf, Old School, Zoolander, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, The Ladies Man, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, SNL)

The first true Comedic Actor on my draft board. While his bit may be getting a little tiresome, the classic "TNT" movies (TNT movies are mindless, yet extremely watchable movies you will find playing on TNT at any given moment, you know they may not be a high quality movie, but you watch them anyway) such as Zoolander and The Ladies man, coupled with the truly great comedies Old School and Anchorman give him enough cred to warrant a high pic. You throw in his SNL days (1995-2006) and you have a very vast catalog that includes "More Cow Bell," and "Spartan Cheerleaders."

Kevin Costner
(Open Range, Tin Cup, Wyatt Earp, JFK, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Dances with Wolves, Field of Dreams, Bull Durham, The Untouchables, Silverado)

Another one that was kind of a head scratcher for me, but looking at his body of work, he has to be included near the top of most boards. If you are a fan of the western, and I very much am, the additions of Open Range, Wyatt Earp(underrated), Dances with Wolves, and the Silverado (best western ever), are a must have.



Harrison Ford
(Clear and Present Danger, The Fugitive, Regarding Henry, Patriot Games, Indiana Jones, Star Wars: Episode IV - VI, Blade Runner, Apocalypse Now, American Graffiti )

Indiana Jones and Star Wars. If i was drafting late first round, I would look to take Ford and either Costenr or Denzel. That would be an ideal match.




Tom Cruise
(Mission: Impossible, Collateral, The Last Samurai, Magnolia, Jerry Maguire, Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles, A Few Good Men, Far and Away, Days of Thunder, Born on the Fourth of July, Rain Man, Cocktail, The Color of Money, Top Gun, Risky Business, The Outsiders, Taps)

OK, this guy has done a bunch of great movies, and is worthy of a top 3 pick. The reason he has slid down so far on my board is over the past few years, I have just really grown to hate the guy. Its like drafting the best player from a Division Rival in fantasy football. You know he's good, you know he is the best out there, but you really want him to fail. I mean you really really want him to blow out a knee and shit his pants the first snap of the season. That's why the guy who was in my favorite movie as a kid, Top Gun, and so many other great flicks, has fallen this far.

Russell Crowe
(American Gangster, Cinderella Man, A Beautiful Mind, Gladiator, L.A. Confidential)

Crowe may not have done as many movies as DeNero or Freeman, but you get one hell of a great bang for your buck from the Aussie. L.A. Confidential and Gladiator are must owns for any guy with a shred of taste.




Leonardo DiCaprio
(The Departed, Catch Me If You Can, Gangs of New York, The Beach, Titanic, Romeo + Juliet ,The Basketball Diaries, What's Eating Gilbert Grape)

The last of the first rounders is Leo. His filmogrphy isn't very big, yet he has done some great, must have, movies, and he is Scorsese's new golden child, so you know more great movies are to come (Sinatra biopic?)






Late Round Sleepers

The following are guys you can have in later rounds, that are well, sleepers. They may not come first to your mind, but when you think about what all they have done, you are getting a bunch of solid movies late in the game.

Philip Seymour Hoffman
(Charlie Wilson's War, Capote, Almost Famous, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Magnolia, Patch Adams, Boogie Nights, The Big Lebowski, Twister, The Yearling, Scent of a Woman)

One of the more versatile actors of our generation, he has the ability to play a number roles and play them all well. Also the first person that I would draft to get my favorite movie "The Big Lebowski" in my collection. He may not have been the lead in any of these movies, but he part was vital to them all becoming fantastic flicks.



Robert Duvall
(Thank You for Smoking, Open Range, Gods and Generals, Gone in Sixty Seconds, The Apostle, Sling Blade, Newsies, Days of Thunder, Lonesome Dove, The Natural, The Godfathers, True Grit)

A guy that you may not think of when thinking of super star power, but a later pick of Duvall for Lonesome Dove alone would be worth it. You throw in the Godfathers if you missed on Pachino or DeNero, and TNT movies Days of Thunder and Gone in Sixty Seconds, you have a super solid later round pick.



Jim Carrey
(Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Bruce Almighty, Me, Myself & Irene, Man on the Moon, Liar Liar, Ace Ventura, Dumb & Dumber)

Because of his star name, you might not be able to get carrey past the 4th round, but if he falls, the Ace Ventura and Dumb & Dumber star is a nice value.





Sylvester Stallone
(Demolition Man, Cliffhanger, Rocky, Rambo, Over the Top, Cobra, Victory)

Another guy that will probably get drafted too high based on the Rocky movies, but with no other notable actors in the series, if you want the Rockys, and don't want to burn a pic on Paulie, you may want to be that guy who reaches for him.





Kevin Spacey
(The Life of David Gale, American Beauty, L.A. Confidential, Se7en, Outbreak, The Usual Suspects, Glengarry Glen Ross, See No Evil, Hear No Evil)

Depending on your fandom of the movies such as Confidential, Beauty or the Usual Suspects, you could make a case that Spacey should be drafted in the late first, early second, yet somehow when you think of him, you don't think great body of work. His body of work is fantastic however, and if you can get him late, you got a steal.



Robin Williams
(Happy Feet, Death to Smoochy, Patch Adams, What Dreams May Come, Good Will Hunting, The Birdcage, Mrs. Doubtfire, Aladdin, FernGully: The Last Rainforest, Hook, Dead Poets Society, Good Morning, Vietnam)

Great pic here if you have kids, yet don't want to waist a pick on a specific movie. Williams gives you some Kids stuff (Aladdin, Happy Feet), funny stuff (Patch Adams, Birdcage), and great movies(Dead Poets, Good Will Hunting, Good Morning Vietnam).



Chris Farley
(Dirty Work, Black Sheep, Tommy Boy, Billy Madison, Airheads, Wayne's World 2, Coneheads, Wayne's World, SNL)

When I think of Farly I think of SNL (1990-1995), and Tommy Boy, yet his bit parts in Airheads, Wayne's World and Coneheads give his catalog a nice selection in the later rounds.




Val Kilmer
(The Saint, Heat, Batman Forever, Tombstone, The Real McCoy, The Doors, Willow, Top Gun, Real Genius)

Of all the Tombstone guys, he has the best other credits, plus you get what might be the greatest TNT movie of all time, Real Genius.






Steve Buscemi
(Big Fish, Monsters, Inc., Armageddon, The Big Lebowski, The Wedding Singer, Fargo, Desperado, Airheads, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Lonesome Dove)

Ahh, the greatest chareter actor of all time. Other than PCH, Buscemi is the only other guy from Lebowski that I would take that wasn't my last pic. You get Pulp Piction, Reservoir Dogs, Fargo and the underrated Airheads.




Jason Lee
(Clerks II, The Incredibles, Jersey Girl, Stealing Harvard, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Almost Famous, Dogma, Chasing Amy, Mallrats, My Name is Earl)

Almost a niche pick here, but his rolls in Chasing Amy and Almost Famous are his high water marks, but Mallrats, Dogma, and Stealing Harvard are strong to quite strong movies.




Bill Murray
(Lost in Translation, The Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore, Kingpin, Ed Wood, Groundhog Day, Ghostbusters, Scrooged, Tootsie, Stripes, Caddyshack)

Last person I'm going to put in this category, is Bill Murray. He may not be top of mind, due to his recent lack of quality stuff, but this guy has played a part in some of the greatest comedy of all time, Groundhog Day, Ghosbusters, Stripes and he might be the only person worth drafting out of Caddyshack.



Futures

Futures are guys that you want to take late, and hope they continue to make good movies over the next 20 years so you can beef up your collection.

Bill Hader
(Adventureland, Tropic Thunder, Pineapple Express, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Superbad, Hot Rod, Knocked Up, SNL)

Hader might be my "next great comedy star" guy who also has the equal shot of becoming "funny big guy in a lot of movies." I'm a fan of his, and i would draft him in hopes of breaking out.




Danny McBride
("Eastbound & Down", Tropic Thunder, Pineapple Express, Hot Rod, The Foot Fist Way)

This guy has got huge upside. The type of characters he plays in Eastbound and Hot Rod, will be bit parts that will be around for a long time. I expect good things from this guy.

Chris Pine
(Star Trek, Smokin' Aces)

When thinking about futures it's easy to take a look at comedic performers in bit parts and say "They guy's funny. I bet he will be funny next time i see him." But with dramatic actors, not so much. Come on, who ever thought Marky Mark would be a good actor. With that said, I like Chris Pine. He did a great job in Star Trek, and I can see him having the chops and staying power it takes to succeed in movies these days, now lets just hope he picks good roles.

So there is your extremely long, quite possibly insane Draft Guide to Actors. If you made it this far, God bless you. If you feel so inclined, hit me up with your pics that I left off in the comments.

He make me giggle

Craig Robinson Screensaver from Craig Robinson

Craig Robinson ScreenSavor

I’ve just had one of those moments…

You know when you’re having a bad day?  Things don’t seem to be going right, stress level is high, all you want to do is just hide under the covers until the next day?  One of those kinds of days.

Well, I’m having one of those days…correction…I was having one of those days.

Then it happened.  I might have just taken one of the top 5 shits of my life. 

This shit has seriously turned my entire day around.  I emerged from the bathroom a new man.  Really, this was one of those poos where you sit down and it’s like the gates of hell are unleashed.  You shrink a waist size or two, and all of the sudden you have a six pack. 

The best comparison I can give you is it’s like one of those times where you have sex, and you realize that you’re lasting much longer than usual and your sober.  You’re kind of like “this is odd, I’m not even close” so you say, “fuck it, I’m going for broke” and you turn into a young Peter North.  

Anyway.  I’m not sure what caused this shit to happen.  But, my day has gone from bad to awesome in one sitting. 

That is all.

Man, even I find this a little dirty

So, if you haven’t seen the story Josh Selby, let me give you a little bit of background here…

Josh Selby was Tennessee’s prize basketball recruit.  The proverbial crown jewel of the class.  Selby’s a consensus top 10 national recruit, and he committed to UTenn back in September of last year. Now all of the sudden, after attending a basketball camp with his mother, Selby has decommitted to UTenn and is now looking at Kentucky and Oregon.

Now, given the landscape of recruiting in 2009, the commitment/decommitment rituals of the high school student are nothing to be surprised at.  Shit, when I was 17/18, I was emo-confused about what I was going to eat for dinner.  So, why is Selby’s case so special?

Hint Number 1: Tennessee is an Adidas school
Hint Number 2: Kentucky and Oregon are Nike schools
Hint Number 3: The camp that Selby attended was a Nike camp

See where this is going? 

The man at the center of this controversy is a man named William Wesley.  Name ring a bell?  How’s about his nickname, “Worldwide Wes”?   His Wikipedia page...

See, no one knows how or what the hell purpose Wes has, but he’s always at the center of these things.

So, to recap:

1) Selby recruits to Tennessee, an Adidas school
2) Selby attends a Nike camp with his mother
3) Mother chats with William Wesley, noted Nike shill and good friend of John Calipari (now coach at Kentucky. Former coach at Memphis where both of Selby’s cousins play)
4) Selby de-commits from Tennessee and now is interested in Kentucky.

The NCAA seems sit on a pretty high perch when it comes to slapping people with recruiting restrictions…loopholes sure are fun.

Looks like the Lamar Odom contract talks with the Lakers not going so good...

Giggle.

Disagreeing with Rick Reilly…

I'm going to admit that I've been a Rick Reilly fan since I discovered Sports Illustrated as a kid.   For all his "Reilly-ness", his stories always had my attention, and I thought his approach was certainly different.

I followed Reilly through SI, and now onto ESPN.com  What I've noticed now is that a) I'm more cynical than ever b) Reilly is an old man with good ol' days syndrome or c) I'm easily irritated.

It's probably all three.

Anyway, his latest piece might have been one of the asinine things I've ever read.

"Tiger Woods has outgrown those Urkel glasses he had as a kid. Outgrown the crazy hair. Outgrown a body that was mostly neck.

When will he outgrow his temper?

The man is 33 years old, married, the father of two. He is paid nearly $100 million a year to be the representative for some monstrously huge companies, from Nike to Accenture. He is the world's most famous and beloved athlete.

And yet he spent most of his two days at Turnberry last week doing the Turn and Bury. He'd hit a bad shot, turn and bury his club into the ground in a fit. It was two days of Tiger Tantrums -- slamming his club, throwing his club and cursing his club. In front of a worldwide audience."

Let me get this straight.  The guy is a corporate automaton who maintains a public presence the way Nike and IEG expect.  He has achieved a role model status that not many (if any) have reached and does so, but we're going to get mad at him because he gets mad? On a golf course?

Really?

Look, I've played golf with hot heads and with serene people all the same, and every now and then, a curse word is released into the world.  Apparently, that makes Rick Reilly cry.

"It's disrespectful to the game, disrespectful to those he plays with and disrespectful to the great players who built the game before him. Ever remember Jack Nicklaus doing it? Arnold Palmer? When Tom Watson was getting guillotined in that playoff to Stewart Cink, did you see him so much as spit? Only one great player ever threw clubs as a pro -- Bobby Jones -- and he stopped in his 20s when he realized how spoiled he looked."

Does that sell the game? 

Make no mistake, Tiger is selling the PGA and himself.  People don't want calm, cool and collected or else Tim Duncan would be more marketable and attractive than LeBron James and Kobe Bryant combined. 

On the course is the one place that Tiger can be Tiger in the public eye.  He can't do it at the podium, he can't do it in the interview chair, he can't do it walking the street with his family.  On the golf course, he can be in the public eye as well as be what he is, the greatest golfer to play the game.  If part of that means that Tiger shows emotion and releases a stream of curse words that kids probably hear on KISS FM anyway, then so be it.  Why is it so bad that the world sees Tiger be upset when something goes wrong?  Is that not better than us apologizing, giving him the shot back and saying "do it until your happy because everyone wins?"  You know, follow the pussy-fication of America's youth that happens today?

Should Tiger be Happy Gilmore and launch clubs and beat the shit out of someone?  No.  Should he be allowed to show extreme displeasure when something goes awry that is completely his fault?  Very honestly, yes.  Golf etiquette and showing emotion can co-exist while keeping golf a "gentleman's game".

By the by, Rick...is saying golf is a gentleman's game versus the brats in the NBA, baseball and football a subtle way of you saying "golf doesn't like black people"?  (Relax! I kid. I kid.)

So, where have we been?

Let me remind everyone of something, we aren’t paid to do this blog.  It’s a hobby.  When we have free time, we post our thoughts or stupid shit like pictures we find or videos we find.

I apologize that we haven’t been able to post as frequently as we’d like.  Jobs, life, and other stuff tend to get in the way.

We’ll post when we get time, and that’s that.  If you want to see stuff up here every day that’s new, you’re more than welcome to subsidize my income.  Until then, keep checking back for updates, and don’t hesitate to use our link list over there on the right.  It’s where we steal most of our shit from anyway.

The Erin Andrews Story

 I love EA as much as the next man…but doesn’t she kind of look like Lane Kiffin in this picture?

If you haven’t read a single blog since Friday, you might have missed the whole story regarding how Erin Andrews was videotaped in her hotel room, nude, ironing her clothes and straightening her hair.

(Hello, Google searchers.  Sorry you didn’t find the videos. Please, feel free to peruse the site anyway.)

Anyway, I actually did manage to see the videos before the whole thing blew up and ESPN lawyers fired the internet.   I’ll say this much.  You’re really desperate for material if a blonde, blurry picture of a nude woman who kind of looks like Erin Andrews for a split second does it for you.  Head to Brazzers and you’ll be better off.

Anyway, I guess my view on this is, yes it’s a pretty disgusting thing that people would obviously premeditatedly plan to video tape this woman in her room, but who roams around a hotel room naked with a curling iron and a clothes iron?  Seriously.  I lived in hotel rooms for about 6 years, and at no point in time did I think to iron my clothes or style my hair in the nude.   I’m not saying that I didn’t walk from the bathroom to the closet/suitcase nude, but, really, she was starkers with a hot curling iron next to her jubblies and a clothes iron next to her holy triangle.  Ballsy is the word I want to use, yet it seems inappropriate.

Yes, this post had zero relevance…I just wanted to drive traffic by mentioning the story. 

Did Brock Lesnar’s actions legitimize pro wrestling or tarnish MMA?

Big, how much for you to get this tattoo?

So, last weekend at UFC 100, Brock Lesnar defeated Frank Mir to become the “undisputed” heavyweight champion of the UFC.  After the fight, he proceeded to flip off the crowd, demean Frank Mir, and give a “WWE-like” victory speech.

This seemed to cause an uproar because…well, I’m not too sure.

I’m not a huge MMA fan.  I’m more of a boxing guy, but I watch MMA on the periphery with the guys, and I know who’s who.  Here’s the thing…exactly what is so wrong about showing a little bit of personality?

Is Dana White that terrified of being lumped with Vince McMahon?  Does he think that if his guys show some personality that they’ll be seen as on par with pro wrestlers instead of as fighters? 

I’m pretty sure even the most hardcore of MMA fan isn’t the same kind of guy as the baseball purist here or Joe Buck complaining about Randy Moss’s touchdown celebrations.  The whole god damn sport is based on raw brutality and primal instinct. 

Guys talking trash, showing personality and creating rivalries is what drives interest.  Period.  If you ask me, the entire argument against Lesnar and his actions are wholly based in the fact that he was a former pro wrestler and MMA junkies are so terrified of being lumped with the WWE and its fan base.  

Hey, what about….

Nope, still not mentioning them unless they slide out of contention.

Ok, I’m so going to see if my girl will drink a Sprite this way (SLIGHTLY NSFW)…

Actually, it’s really NSFW…so, turn the volume down and don’t let anyone look over your shoulder.

Hat tip: Warming Glow

Tony’s a free man!

Well, it hasn’t exactly been a secret.  I hate Jessica Simpson.  Hate her.  I can find a big tittied, overweight blond anywhere in Dallas. Why should this bitch be famous?

Anyway, if you didn’t see the story (and I’m not sure why), Tony pulled a move that I personally find so awesome, it brought a tear to my eye.  Allow me to show you how I believe it went…

Jessica: It’s my birthday coming up tomorrow.

Tony: Golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. Bobby Carpenter.

Jessica: I want to have a party.

Tony: Boat. Boat. Golf. Jason Witten. Guitar Hero.

Jessica: How about a Barbie and Ken party?

Tony: Go—…what?

Jessica: A Barbie and Ken Party!  I can be Barbie!!!

Tony: That’s it. I’m out.  Peace, bitch.

And…scene.

You might think that I’d be happy that Tony’s single.  I am happy that he’s lost the weight.  However, as much as I love Tony Romo, he’s a big ol’ douche. 

My fear is that now he’s going to be more focused on partying and being a douche that he’s going to be that much less focused on football…and this is supposed to be his breakout season.

Jerry’s (probably more Steven) made all the moves this off-season to make this team Tony Romo’s.  Gone went Owens.  Garrett has simplified the playbook and made it run-heavier.  Marty B has kept people entertained. (Captain Crunch!!!!)  Now it’s Tony’s turn to show that the right moves were made.

Think about it.  For all the crap Owens pulled, was he ever out of shape?  Was he ever missing practices?  Didn’t his teammates, for the most part, love him and follow him?   Can you say the same thing about Tony Romo? 

So…the Mavs sure have changed

Not that long ago, I was lamenting Donnie Nelson’s horrendous draft choice of the frog legged wunderkind, Roddy Beauxbois.   In fact, I believe I claimed that he had to do something to show me that the Mavs were making an effort to change.

So, let’s review what he’s pulled off since…

-Re-signed Jason Kidd.  Got him at a bit of a high price, but let’s be honest, it had to be done.  There was no other option unless they went for a stop-gap solution in a Jarrett Jack or Jomario Moon.

-Traded for Shawn Marion.  Now, if we were playing fantasy basketball, I think this a great idea.  You’re getting a guy that a few years ago was averaging a double-double and was known for playing lock down defense.  He even had a great nickname, “The Matrix”.  I like the move though.  Gives a slasher and allows an interesting rotation across the 2-3-4 among Howard, Marion, Terry, Dirk, Singleton, etc.  The problem here was that it all depended on the Mavericks landing or securing a 5 that was more reliable/athletic than Erick Dampier.

-The Marcin Gortat experiment.  So, let’s review what happened.  Gortat wants to come to Dallas.  He got the full MLE and guaranteed minutes.  Dallas was SO SURE that he’d sign, they let Orlando sign Brandon Bass.  (There’s a whole science behind why Bass was never going to play in Dallas, but for all intents and purposes, they didn’t re-sign him because they thought they pocketed Gortat.)  Turns out Orlando fucked Dallas in both holes by matching Gortat.

So now what?  The Mavs would have been a VERY VERY impressive squad with Gortat.  Not because he was great, but he allowed the flexibility and athletic ability to run that rotation across the 2-3-4.  Now, they’re bare on the 5.  Dallas has to get an athletic center because we all know that Damp ain’t it.   Watch the trade block after 30 games.

Rick Carlisle is a good coach and Cuban is willing to pay the luxury tax.  I still think Donnie Nelson is a terrible GM, but let’s see what he does mid-stream.

I’ve been in Jedi training…

and now this is what I see when I seek advice

Big Fixes Wrestling

We make no apology's here at TB&TB when it comes to wrestling. We have enjoyed the entertainment "sport" as long as we have been alive. If we don't get together on Mondays to watch RAW, we spend most of Monday night texting each other like little school girls.
Last night, the question was asked "who are the writer for WWE, and how can we become one?" The question was fuled by another show of predicable story lines and more and more of the "same ol' stuff." Thus began the debate on how, if you were in charge of the WWE, would you run it? So have no fear, Big is here, to "fix" the WWE.

Step one. Branding. The current WWE roster is "broken down" into 3 shows. Monday night Raw (the flag ship), Friday night Smackdown (the "b" show) and ECW on Tuesday night (the C show and proving ground). The first thing I would do is make these show completely independent of each other. No more stoylines that have people cross over between the three shows. The idea is to make the one company, WWE, feel like it had three different identities.

One step to do this is move all the Women wrestlers (or as WWE calls them, Divas) onto the Monday night show RAW. Now you may have to "trim the fat" of some of the Diva's on the roster, but condensing and focusing the talent into one brand would only create better Diva matches, which the WWE desperately need right now.

The next step in Branding is move all the tag teams to Friday night. For too long now the tag team division in wrestling in general has been forgotten and miss used. By replacing the women on Smackdown with tag matches and more importantly mic time, I believe the fans would get behind them in no time flat. A caveat to this is you can't have just also ran Tag Teams in the tag team division. You need star power. Think Hardys or Edge and Christian (note, they are doing a good job of this with having Edge and Jericho hold the straps right now).

While ECW is being used very well at the moment as a proving ground for up and coming wrestlers, even it could use a slight retooling. I suggest reforming the Cruiser weight Division Championship, and giving that to ECW. While Vince has always been a fan of the Super Heavyweight, and always will be, there is a sector of people who enjoy the small, high flying aspect of cruiser weight wrestling. Don't believe me? take a look at this video from WCW Starcade, 1999, where 4 cruisers stole the PPV with this crazy match which included Billy Kidman Vs. Rey Misterio, Jr. Vs. Juventud Guerrera Vs. Psicosis.



You can't tell me people won't be entertained by that.

So let's break down the branding.

RAW - Diva's (stays the Flag ship. Geared more toward family's, pg rating)

Smackdown - Tag Teams (a little more mature, place where people who preform on the mic and in the ring are valued more, geared more toward the older wrestling fan)

ECW - Cruiser's (Still a proving ground for up and coming Heavys, also has the infusion of cruisers to make show worth watching.)

Step 2 Fixing PPV's

Over the years, WWE has tried to create more buz around its PPV's by including things like the Elimination chamber during No Way Out, or the extreme rules matches at Extreme Rules. This is exactly what WWE needs to do, but take it up another notch.

As it stands right now there are 4 big PPV's every year, with 8 or 10 others every month. As it stands right now, only the Royal Rumble has an yearly pay out of a title shot. I'm going to change that. Stating with the Big One, Wrestlemanina.

WrestleMania is the biggest show of the year, and to add to it, every year the WWE Champion and World Heavyweight Champion will fight. The end of every wrestlemaina will have one superstar holding both title belts in celebration, and the time between Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania will be the only time during the season that wrestlers would be allowed to cross brand lines.

Of course this creates a wrinkle in the winner of the Royal Rumble has traditionally gotten a title shot at Mania, but this is an easy fix. I would move the PPV No Way Out, which is traditionally between the Rumble and Mania, to October, and the October PPV, Bragging Rights, to February. This way the winner of the Rumble gets not only a title shot at Bragging Rights, but if he wins, he gets to headline Wrestlemania with a match between the opposing brands champion.

Think of the push a wrestler can have in just 3 months. From winning the Rumble, to winning the Title at Bragging Rights, to becoming the unified champion and headlining Wrestlemania. I will explain swapping Bragging Right and No Way Out in just a bit.

Next up after Mania? Draft. On the second Monday following Mania, the Draft takes place. I would like the draft to be a little more calculated, and a little less random as it is shown now. Let the GM's of the shows actually draft, or maybe even have a small 3 vs 3 matches where the winner can chose what brand he goes to. (think of the champ who loses at wrestlemania, winning a chance to change brands and go after the guy who beat him).
Now as I said earlier, there will be no cross brand competition other than the time between the Rumble and Mania, and a small time before Survivor Series, so when Mania crowns a new unified champion, the superstar who wins would have to chose which belt he wants to defend on which show. The other belt then becomes the main story line for the next PPV, Backlash. Any number of things can be done for that PPV, a King of the Ring type tournament, a Scramble match for the vacant title, a tourny that takes place during TV culminating in a finials at the PPV, any number of things can take place.

After Backlash, there is a normal PPV in Judgment Day, which can be used to finish Mania feuds and start building toward the summer push.

Then Extreme Rules. I like this PPV a lot because of the fact it is a little different then most. The only change I would have with this one is use ECW more. This needs to be the one PPV of the year that they really get over. Have 2 or 3 ECW matches on this one, including a ECW title match, Crueser Weight Match, and ECW vs the world in a 5 on 5 extreme showdown, where each week on ECW, one member of the ECW team calls out someone who they think "soft" from the other brands, and forces them to be in this crazy extreme match.

The next two PPV's The Bash and Night of Chapionons, would remain unchanged.

Then the 3rd biggest PPV of the year, Summerslam. This has always been one of my favorite PPV's for little reason than it usually the only one during my childhood where I could convince my parents to let me order it while I had a bunch of buddies over to watch it. Looking back, I'm sure it was because there was no school during the summer and this was the last good thing that happend before school started, and my folks thought it would be fun to have one last summer hoo-rahh.

With the Summerslam PPV, I can fix 2 problems with one little solution.

I have always been a fan of the IC belt (and TV belt in WCW), because the IC champion was always one of my favorite guys to watch as a kid (Warrior, Rude, Honkey Tonk), and I feel the IC and US belts right now have very little meaning. Well, that would change here, because at Summerslam, it would be IC/US vs. WWE/World Champion. Belt for belt, every year.

This would help in 2 ways, it would give credence(especially leading up to Summerslam) to big name guys wanting to win the IC/US Belt, and it would create another situation, much like after Wrestlemaina, where after the Slam, the IC/US belt would be vacant, and the idea's of what do to with vacnt belt are endless, and it at the least gives you two good matches mid to high card matches for the next PPV, Breaking Point. If this is too much title changing, than make Summerslam a non title match for the IC/US champ.

Breaking Point would be for the most part a normal PPV, with the chance to have the vacant IC/US title belts up for grabs.

Next is Hell in a Cell, normal, no changes.

Now the swapped No Way Out. I moved this one here because it gives yet another opportunity for someone to become number one contender during the Elimination Chamber, and the pay off is having a title shot at the 4th biggest PPV of the year, Survivor Series.
Survivor Series would have the pay off from No Way Out as well as a traditional (sort of) 3 way 5 on 5 on 5 survivor series match between the 3 different brands.

The last PPV before we get back to the Rumble is Armageddon, and should be more or less a set up the the story lines that will start at the Rumble and end at Mania.

So lets recap

Royal Rumble - Winning getting title shot at Bragging Rights.
Bragging Rights - Title Shot for Royal Rumble Winner
Wrestlemania - WWE Champ vs. World Heavyweight Champ
Draft
Backlash - Crowning of new champion who's brand lost a Mania
Judgment Day - Normal, finish story lines of Mania.
Extreme Rules - ECW Payday, 3 or 5 ECW Stars/Future Stars vs 5 other brand stars who have been called out as not extreme enough for WWE.
The Bash - Normal
Night of Chapionons - Every Title on the line
Summerslam - IC/US vs. WWE/World Heavyweight Champ.
Breaking Point - Normal
Hell in a Cell - Normal
No Way Out - Elimination Chamber, either for Title, or for #1 Contender.
Survivor Series - Chamber Pay off, 5 on 5 on 5 Tri-Brand tradional SS match.
Armageddon - Normal

With all of these changes, I believe it would give the WWE three separate yet competitive brands, put more clout in both the IC and US belts, and give each brand a different identity. But I'm just a cave man.