Olympics, Week one in Pics

We So Happy for Olrimpics!

"When I'm 15 I hope I have boobs like you. HEHEHEHE!"

More Like BrASSil! Who's With Me!

"Hey Bron Bron, Look at that White Girl!"

"Yea, She is Bangin'"

Bush: "So That's how you Pop Drop and Lock it"

or from Nayfa

"No Mr. President, you light the match, then I fart."

"That's a Fully Man! A Fully!"

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

The Big and The Brown Water Polo Team

Big's getting into the pool and I'm sitting on the bench

Looking for a Fantasy Stud?

Then may I introduce you to Fantasy Files, from NFL.com.

Chris Chambers



Chris Cooley



Laurence Maroney



Mason Crosby



There you go. Big ups to Mighty MJD for pointing these out.

Dallas's quarterback's girlfriend's mental ability is rubbing off on him

Hat tip: 700 Level via Deadspin

Anyone remember that scene from "Species"?

Seems the Dallas Cowboys's quarterback either doesn't pay attention to anything, revels a little too much in his celebrity, or spends too long dreaming of his brainless yet top-heavy body.

He was signing a few autographs for people, gets handed a helmet and signs it. Turns out the helmet was his own helmet and the equipment manager was giving it to him because practice was starting up.

When Wade Phillips found out, he just mumbled something intelligible about "dogs" and walked away scratching his forehead.

To keep with my theme today, "Tubthumper"

My favorite part of the Olympics so far...

I haven't made any bones about it, I'm hooked on the Olympics this year. I've never been hooked on them before, but I am this time around.

That being said, I was watching the women's team gymnastics final yesterday and was trading texts with Big and with Bear who were also watching it, and...wow, that didn't seem as gay until I typed it and re-read it. In all fairness, most the commentary was on Alicia Sacramone's fine ass...but I digress.

My favorite part of the Olympics so far? Bela Karoyli.

If there ever was a Eastern European, Gymnastics version of Gus Johnson, it's him.

So far, he's gone ape shit during Nastia Liukin's performance, he accused the judges of cheating and having an anti-American bias, he's accused the Chinese team of having a team full of girls who are too young for the Olympics (you have to be at least turning 16 in 2008), and, in general, he's so pumped about gymnastics and his accent, you can barely understand him!

Oh yeah, the only thing that comes to mind when I hear or see this guy....

Lugash.

By the way, I'm having a lot of trouble finding videos this morning, so I'm just going to leave you with "Return of the Mack"

Pain = Funny

I'm so glade everyone is wrapped up in Olympic Fever. All the same guys who poked fun at me because its one of my favorite sporting events are now calling me with stuff like "did you see Phelps! That kid is bad ass!"

Welcome.

Ohh and this is stolen from UniTQM. And if its on his site, you know its good.

Its Madden Day! HAZAHH!

These new graphics are AWESOME!

Yup, Madden09 comes out today. I will be getting my copy during lunch, and then staring at it the rest of the work day, waiting, wishing, wanting.

I'm not all that excited about the "improvements" on this years game, but i will buy it anyway.

What Improvements you may ask? Well the big one this season is the computers ability to match your style and skill level of play. Will it make game more competitive? Sure. But when I'm the greatest team ever assembled, the 08 Dallas Cowboys, and I'm playing the likes of the 08 Atlanta Falcons, I want to score 400 points.

To celebrate this day I bring you the Top 25 QB's in Madden History, brought to you from IGN.

Hint: if you can't guess the top "dog," your not a Madden player.

Double Secret Hint: the there is a hint inside the hint that's playing a hint.

Today is shaping up to be one of those kinds of days...

How Brown feels today

You know those days where the second you wake up, you immediately know it's a better idea to hide under the covers and just wait for tomorrow?

Yup, one of those days.

I'm calling it quits at 11 am, maybe you'll hear from Big.

Video Post!

Ahh yes, a wrestling video.

Courtesy of Hot Clicks, the top 30 wrestling finishers of all time.

Dave made the list. Way to go, Dave.

Do you like Lower Greenville?

Well, if you like the neighborhood aspects of Lower Greenville in Dallas, but you aren't a particular fan of the rabble rousing and late night visitors, then you might enjoy this web site.

From what I gather, it's a guy who lives down in Lower Greenville and utilizes his trusty video camera and YouTube to not only report the news of Lower Greenville, but to show some of the stuff that happens after 2 AM.

As Wilonsky puts it, Adelman is basically creating a nice wild life documentary on the streets of Lower Greenville.

A little racist with the use of the term "gangbanger"? Maybe, but with the evidence provided, maybe not that far from the truth.

Just a nifty little website if you're a Dallas-ite...or if you like to affirm to yourself that maybe Lower Greenville at night ain't that great. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

"OH MY GOD THE WATER'S SO COLD!!"

Your Monday Morning MMA

Yes, He's Canadian

So Saturday night was another big UFC PPV, and yes, it was another fantastic show that keeps MMA head and shoulders above boxing.

UFC 87 was billed as one of the deepest cards in recent history, as 3 fights were on the card that could be considered main event level matches, and all three went the distance.

The first of which was Kenny Florian and Roger Huerta, which saw KenFlow take it to the SI cover boy and win decidedly in by decision. I didn't get to really watch this fight as much as the others because of a the distance I was from the TV at the bar I watched it from.

As my party got smaller at the bar, me and bizzle decide to get closer for the other two fights, and found a table much better suited for watching the fights.

After a couple of fights from people i didn't know very well, both knockouts, both entertaining, the "double main event" was ready to get rolling.

As a fan of WWE, and well pro wrestling in general, I was skeptical when I heard former WWE champ Brock Lesner was going to become a MMA fighter, but I was intrigued. His first fight saw him come out of the gate swinging, and then punching on his opponent and pummeling him with his brick like fists, but one of his shots landed on the back of the head, and the ref stood the fighters up to dock Lesner a point, and then the savvy vet Frank Mir caught the big guy in a ankle lock.
While the end result may have been what most MMA experts thought would happen, Lesner getting submitted, even the most hardcore MMA guys thought Lesner looked good in his opening fight till he was docked that point.

That brought us to last Saturday, where Lesner got his second chance in the UFC, and needed to win to continue to be a big draw. And win he did. In the first 30 seconds or so his fight with Heath Herring, Lesner Landed a straight right square on Herring's cheeking, sending his flying backward about 20 feet. It was almost like a cartoon punch. Lesner swung, connected, and Herring was sent flying over backward. To Herring credit, he recovered quickly, and avoided a knockout, but Lesner continued to pound on the guy over and over, using his 15 pound weight advantage to smother Herring on the ground for the better part of the three rounds.

Lesner still has a long way to go, but he won this fight, and looked good doing it.

Then it was time for the real main event, George St. Perrie vs. Jon Fitch, for the welterweight championship strap. GSP is thought of as one of the best fighters in the world, of any weight class, and against of the hottest MMA stars today (Fitch had won 8 or 9 straight UFC fights) GSP proved all the experts right. From the opening bell, GSP dominated this fight. He knocked Fitch around early, and then took him to the ground for some classic GSP ground work. After the first round was over, Fitch was bloodied and GSP didn't even look tired.

Despite the lopsided decision, 50-43, 50-44, 50-44, for GSP, i will say this for John Fitch, the guy can take a punch. 4 or 5 times during that fight, GSP connected with fantastic shots that should have ended the fight, but every time Fitch would recover and continue.

Overall it was one of the better Cards that I've seen in awhile, but not the best. Look forward to Liddel/Evans next month.

I am Totally Pumped for the Olympics

Normally, the Olympics are Big's thing, and I mock him for it because it's my hobby.

However, I'm totally hooked.

I've watched nothing but Olympic coverage all weekend and I've found myself clapping and screaming like a jack ass for the American team.

USA over China? Awesometown.

Alicia Sacramone and the rest of the women's gymnastics team that isn't legal? Hell yes.

The Brown guy on the men's gymnastics team? Way to represent, home skillet.

Misty May Treanor and Kerri Walsh? Fuck and yes.

Phelps and the bad ass 400 relay team that stuck it to Frenchie? Cook me a bald eagle omelette because I love America.

This is kicking ass and its only day 3. My TiVO is locked and loaded.

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

"Mark Buehrle hands the ball to Ken Griffey Jr."

How long before the Mavericks are playing in Paris?

Well, I've been paying attention to the exodus of NBA players to Europe, but nothing short of the Childress move and Brandon Jennings shunning college has really raised my eyebrows. A bunch of mid-level guys who are either past their prime or guys who wouldn't really get a chance to see much time on an NBA court, taking the money grab to re-establish their careers in Europe.

But now it's hit the Mavericks. 2008 Draft pick, Shan Foster, has decided to go and play in Europe and will not be on the Mavericks roster this season.

Couple that with the fact that both LeBron and Kobe have said that for the right price, $50 million, they'll go to Europe. Here's the deal: that is very possible.

The maximum contract, I believe, an NBA player can be offered state side is $20 million a year. Before taxes. There's no such capping in the European leagues.

The Euro...The world's highest single population of millionaires? Moscow because of oil. Athens because of shipping. These magnates can offer LeBron a tax-free $50 million a year. Why? Not being American citizens, they can say that they'll pick up the taxes, so the $50 million is an after tax number. All together, the contract would be something like $70 million a year, which is maybe 40 Million Euro. (I can't guarantee that.)

The Player...Really, are you going to tell me that if someone said that you had a chance to pocket $100 million after taxes to go overseas for 2 years and play basketball, you're going to say no? Couple that with the chance to globalize your brand (if you're LeBron or Kobe) or to have a fully dedicated fan base (Melo) and why not jump at the chance?

The NBA...Stern's got a problem and it's of his own creation. David Stern has pushed for the globalization of basketball forever. It's right up there with the WNBA as pet projects. Now this one has come back to bite him in the ass. What's he going to do when the NBA becomes what the college game has become, irrelevant, because all the best players are going elsewhere for money? Are we going to see an NBA European divison?

Keep an eye on things because the global market complicated an already crazy problem.

So, now that it's over, who's been ruined?

We've all had that one morning where we woke up and looked next to us and realized exactly how bad a decision it was to bring that girl home from the bar. She might have been your ex, she might have been someone else's ex, she might be a known crack whore, whatever. (I've already gotten lost in this metaphor.)

Anyway, after you finally convince this girl to leave, you close your front door and think who should be blamed here? Do you blame yourself because you finally ended up bringing her home? Do you blame her for using her feminine willies to get you to take her home? Do you blame your buddies for not stopping you? On that tip, who's reputation gets hit here? Your's for screwing a whore? The whore for being a whore? Your buddies' for not stopping you from screwing the whore?

Well, now that the soap opera in Wisconsin is over, who's reputation is affected most?

The Green Bay front office? Green Bay Packer fans? Brett Favre? Bus Cook? ESPN? Aaron Rodgers? J-Bizzle? All of the above?

I'm not going to break all of these down because I think everyone might be to blame and everyone's reputation has taken a hit.

If I had to point one finger, I'd point it at ESPN. Overblowing a story and dedicating 60 entire minutes to the tip of the iceberg of a story is what made things worse for all the parties involved.

Maybe that's why it took a single reporter from Fox Sports to break the trade story as opposed to the army of reporters that ESPN sent.

I wonder where we'd be without Jay Glazer.

I'm a half-day late on this, but your PGA Championship pick

Okay, I know the tournament started this morning, and I'm late on this, but it's only Thursday, so things can change.

Which tournament? Come on, the final major of the year, the PGA Championship.

A long time ago, the PGA was a match play tourney, making it unique along with the other majors: The Masters is played at Augusta every year, The U.S. Open is notoriously difficult, and The British Open is played on a links course. The PGA was fun to watch, and now the chase for the Wannamaker is just another nice tournament with the top guys.

The course: Oakland Hills. A "shot maker's course" in that every hole is different and a player would need to use every club in their bag. From what I read, behind Augusta and a few other main courses, Oakland Hills has stupidly hard greens.

The Big and the Brown pick?

PHILBERT!!!!

Why? Because I'm lazy and feel like with losing weight and Tiger, maybe he's due.

"A-Rod" is a cursed nickname

Ahh yes, thanks to Jennifer Lopez in the early 00's, we were introduced to the concept of the "first letter of the first name + first syllable of the last name" nickname format.

That led to Alex Rodriguez becoming "A-Rod".

Well, it seems that the nickname could be cursed. Let's do a three case study...

Alex "A-Rod" Rodriguez

Prior to nickname

• Best young baseball player in the league
• Lit up the place in Seattle with Junior and the Big Unit taking a majority of the spotlight

After the nickname

• Sign the biggest contract in the history of sports
• Become a media machine
• Hated by every fan base you've ever played for
• Get caught with muscle bound strippers
• Get divorced by wife for practicing Kaballah with skeleton lady. (By the way, people, it's not 1986 anymore. Madonna is neither hot nor relevant. Let's cut that shit out.)
  

Aaron "A-Rod" Rodgers

Prior to nickname

• Believed to be the most pro-ready Tedford quarterback ever
• Defeated the mighty USC Trojans in overtime, proving "they're not a machine!"
• Highly touted draft pick

After the nickname

• Drop to the end of the first round
• Become the heir apparent to Brett Favre
• Alienate fan base by claiming you can't wait for the old man to retire
• Old man retires, then you tell everyone to get over it
• Old man attempts comeback and you become the most hated player in your fan base
• Old man is traded, you're still the most hated man on your team
• Often mistaken for Scott Stapp

Andy "A-Rod" Roddick

Prior to nickname

• Hottest young tennis star to arrive on US scene
• Destined to be the heir apparent to US tennis's stars, Sampras and Agassi
• Fastest serve on the tour and history (clocked at 155 mph)
  
• World's number one player
• Win the 2003 U. S. Open
• Win the Davis Cup

After the nickname

• Second American mentioned behind James Blake (who hasn't done shit either)
• Can't get past the current kings of the court, Nadal and Federer
• Hire Jimmy Connors to coach you. Fire Jimmy Connors from coaching you.
• Turn down representing country in Olympics to refocus on grand slams
• Can't get past the third round of shit anymore
• Blame sleeping posture for injuries and poor performance

In conclusion, if you're first name starts with an "A" and the first syllable of your last name is "Rod", for god's sake NEVER TAKE THE NICKNAME "A-ROD".

Note: I don't think anyone but Rodriguez is officially nicknamed "A-Rod"

Hey, the Olympics start tomorrow

Hat tip: Fan House

So, the Summer Olympics start tomorrow. You know? Big deal, every 4 years, whole world competes? Well, USA Basketball, for a long time was the shit. Now, with the globalization of the sport and success of other countries, Team USA is another cog in the machine. A favorite, no less, but still a cog in the machine.

Well, courtesy of Nike Basketball, allow the soothing sounds of Marvin Gaye singing our nation anthem get you ready for the Olympics.

Bring it on, world.

If that video doesn't do it for you, how about Dallas's own Dirk Nowitzki sporting the early 1990's hair do...

I can't take it anymore, I must say it,

Douche-la-rough

Bret Favre is a gigantic douche.

I once liked this guy. His style of play was entertaining, his team was historic, and he always looked like he was having a good time.

Now, I can't stand him. His ego has lead the Packers on a wild goose chase over the past 3 years as to whether or not he was going to retire. Finally, the packers said enough is enough, and they were ready to move on when Favre said himself "I'm done."

Now he's back and the only team that he really wants to play for isn't the Packers, its their bitter Rival, the Minnesota Vikings.

How can anybody be OK with this? Packer fans? He's wants to leave for Minn. Viking fans? He's been beating your ass for over a decade. How can you root for him?

I hope the guys falls on his face. And wins 3 games in Minn this season.

For completely different reasons as he did several years ago, Brett Favre is once again making me a bigger Packers fan, I want to see them roll over Captain Ego and his smugness.